Have you ever dealt with an employee whose mere presence seems to suck all the life out of a room? Or the individual who constantly complains, creates conflict, berates all ideas, or just simply walks around with a rain cloud over their head? These “bad attitudes” can destroy morale and derail creative and innovative ideas. These folks have got to change or they must go—quickly.

Talking to them about their attitude will never work. Merely mentioning the term will get them to recoil, followed by a sharp retort of “my attitude? What do you mean? I don’t have an attitude, but maybe we should be talking about yours.”

Since attitude is something you can’t see or feel, it is best to address the manifest behavior. What did they say? How did they act? What was their tone? Always focus on observable behavior. And be very specific.

When confronting the employee, be prepared and discuss how his behavior is impacting the organization, other employees or customers. And be prepared to tell them how you want them to behave, not just how you don’t want them to perform. Show how their actions turn off their fellow employees, kill new ideas, deflate teamwork, and offend customers.

You can expect that the employee will deny the actions or will feign cluelessness. But stay focused. Address the behavior, be clear about what you expect, outline the consequences of bad behavior.

Toxic behavior needs to be eradicated the first time it rears its ugly head. Left unchecked, it will continue to get worse until it overwhelms and contaminates everything that comes in contact with it.

This was excerpted from the book Uncomplicating Management by Rick Dacri.  Uncomplicating Management is available through Amazon.

I am tired.  I have been tired since the damn time change…it affects me every year, and I don’t remember the spring one doing that.  I can’t blame my fatigue on DST completely, though.  It’s likely that another major factor in my feeling constantly worn-out is my overactive brain. 

Life is complicated.  It took me a while to figure that out, because even as a young adult, I didn’t have a lot of the responsibilities and problems that others my age did.  As I finally stepped over the threshold of adulthood, however, I quickly found out that even for a single, unmarried person with little personal property and only himself to worry about, existence on this plane is intricate indeed.  When I moved into a place of my own, this was brought home to me even more.  Every grocery item bought, every roll of toilet paper replaced, every end table dusted…every bill paid…it was all on me to do it, or it didn’t get done.

Add to all that minutia my own personal obsessive compulsiveness, my constant preoccupation with making sure, every moment, that my life is up-to-date in ALL departments and that not one solitary moment of my time is wasted–read “unscheduled”–and you have a recipe for serious mental exhaustion.

Add to all this my passion for art projects and creative writing, and my constant desire to make something of myself through them…as well as my burning, uncompromising perfectionism regarding every aspect of these works…and you have a nervous breakdown waiting to happen.

Thinking too much can be non-productive at best.  At worst, it can land a person in the rubber room.  When, as a human being, knowing little of where I came from and nothing at all of where I’m going, except through speculation, I try to balance my faith and spirituality issues with the headaches and miseries of living day-to-day, I am sometimes taken aback by how close to the edge I am. 

One of my gifts this Christmas, I’ve already been told, will be a membership to a yoga class.  I’ve read and heard of how helpful yoga can be for centering the mind and relaxing the body, relieving both mental and physical stress. Maybe that’s a step in the right direction. 

You know, I don’t think anyone sets out to be a worrier.  I am genetically predisposed to it, but I don’t want to live the way I’m living.  Yet, financial struggles, emotional disturbances, fears grounded in what I hear and read on the news every day…they keep adding up and I can’t ignore them the way some people can.  The best I can do is focus on my creative work, because that gives me fulfillment and peace the way nothing else does.

This is yet another reason why relationships are so desirable, I suppose.  When you’ve got someone to lean on during life’s hardships, that can make a tremendous difference.  I don’t have that someone, so I have to lean on myself…for as long as I can.

I was at a certain fast food restaurant yesterday for brunch and got treated like the biggest inconvenience ever. Here’s a few things that I think the fast food industry should really try to work on…

Attitude - You may have heard me say, “Vanilla shake”, but I definitely said, “Banana shake”. I see how that can be confusing, and I apologize. I tend to mutter sometimes, or maybe not talk as loud as you do over the intercom system, and that may have been part of the problem. I even said, “please” when I ordered. So for you to act like I’m a huge, intolerable pain might be a little much. I don’t like your plain vanilla shake. It’s gross. Can I please have what I ordered? (Oh, and when the manager comes out with an attitude of his own to collect the extra 50 cents that the banana cost, I’d like him to remember who’s buying the banana shake and paying his salary in the first place…)

Cleanliness - At LEAST in the bathroom. Or this could all be one big fast food scheme. “After they buy a $12 meal, the bathroom will make them want to throw it up, then they’ll come out and buy more food.” Maybe it worked for the vomitoriums in ancient Rome, but this is modern-day America. Cleanliness is next to godliness.

Dress Code - I realize that we’re all trying to be fashionable, but isn’t the traditional attire in restaurants called a “uniform” for a reason? There should be a rule against wearing pants that sag below your waist or shirts that are three sizes too big or too small. I don’t care how you’re trying to express yourself, I just want my burger. Please.

Stereotyping - Yes, I realize that I’m a little bit overweight. No, that does not mean you are allowed to assume I want the largest combo you make. Yes, I enjoy a salad now and then. No, you are not allowed to ask me, “are you sure that’s all you want to order?” three times.

That Elitist Smug Look You Have on Your Face - No offense dude, but you’re working the cash register at the cheapest fast food place in town. I’ll go next door and spend more money just so I don’t have to put up with that look that I want to slap off of your face. No, don’t get your manager. He has the same look. I’ll take a number thr… no, wait. I’ll just go next door.

What other reforms should fast food restaurants take?

DING-DONG, THE SUMMER’S DEAD!!!

I FEEL THOSE BLUES RUNNIN’ OUTTA MY HEAD!!!

DING-DONG, THE FUCKING SUMMER’S DEAD!!!!

I love the fall.  I love everything about it.  I love the change in the color of the leaves, like everyone else, but I also love the dead plants, the barren trees, the gray skies…the kids getting on the bus each morning to school…ha, ha, ha, you little bastards…thought you had it made last June, didn’t ya?  Well, guess what?  Now you’re just one year closer to becoming an adult…at which time your life will begin to SUCK AS MUCH AS MINE!!!!

I love the beaches closing…the amusement parks shutting down…the crisp, cool temperatures which drive people into sensible clothing that they look better in anyway…except for hot young men.  They’re about the only things I miss about summer…seeing them in their shorts and tank tops, or, better yet, shirtless.

Everyone seems to get so depressed at the coming of the winter season, but not me, baby.  Come mid-September, a gleam starts to show in my eyes and I rub my hands together joyfully at the thought of yet another summer…the season of the Beautiful People…in ashes.  Now we’re all on the same level.  Now all those gorgeous, hot, fun preppy types are as miserable as I am…and I’m HAPPY about it!!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fall kicks my creativity into gear.  It improves my mood.  (We’ve already covered that.)  As soon as I feel that nip in the air and the sun begins to recede behind the gray clouds, the air conditioning is turned off, the furnace is turned on and the teakettle boils.  Time to hibernate.  Time to barricade myself inside for my long winter’s nap.  No more late nights.  No more socializing, with very few exceptions.  No more silly cookouts, where I have to sit roasting in the heat and waving off the damn flies and mosquitoes.  I hardly ever even do any acting in the cold season.  Nope.  If you want to venture out in the freezing winds and snow and sleet to rehearse in a chilly theatre for some show no one’s going to show up to watch anyway, more power to ya.  I’ll be thinking of you as I curl up in my recliner under a quilt, with a mug of hot tea in one hand and the TV remote in the other, one dog on my lap and the other at my feet.

Fall and winter are really the seasons when I get the most accomplished as far as my writing and hobbies are concerned, because I don’t have anyone nagging at me to come out and play.  I often think I could live out the rest of my life happily, staying at home, working on my books and projects, never really going anywhere of note.  As I grow older, I find myself losing my appetite for travel, for hustle and bustle, for interaction of any kind.  I’m getting to be an old recluse, a wolf in his cave, and that’s the way I want it.  No other approach to life really works for me, and fall is the perfect time to implement it.

A couple of entries back, I wrote about how shitty summer makes me feel.  So you can imagine how good I feel by comparison when that miserable, sluggish, boring, depressing season ends and gives way to the comforting euphoria of fall, of the winter holidays (not that I’m all that big on Christmas)…of pumpkins…corn shocks…witches and black cats…pilgrims.  I would love to simply drop summer out of the year completely and jump from a quick spring to a long, long autumn.

It’s always been this way for me, too, as I remember.  Ever since I was a little kid, fall was my time of year.  Maybe it’s because I was born in September.  Maybe it’s because I’m a morbid S.O.B. who hates lightheartedness and sunshine.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that I greet the coming of the Season of Death as I would greet the arrival of an old, beloved friend.  I understand and appreciate it as not many seem to, and vice-versa.  In the fall, I tend to have better luck in my endeavors–all of them–than during the warmer months. 

And, I suppose, this explains why the advent of the autumn season ignites in me a desire to live a little longer…even if it’s just to see one more.

Ugh.  Today was one of those days.  The kind that inevitably come in life.  The ones where you’d just rather stay in bed and not deal with life.  There isn’t any real reason I don’t think for feeling this way.  I probably overdid it this weekend, which is depressing because during tri season I would workout for 3-4 hours on the weekend and now walking in a corn maze does me in.  I took off my boot for a little while today only to find that my quad and the muscles around my knee have stopped working properly because the boot doesn’t require me to actually use them.  I’m either getting sick or I have serious fall allergies.  And tonight I sat down to do my homework for the first time in over a week and have found all my motivation for school completely gone.  All I want to do is go to bed because grocery shopping was such an ordeal tonight (trying to figure out how to drive stick shift with a busted foot = tricky and painful, and yes, I did ask several people to take me and no one was available and the food situation was dire).  I’m trying really hard to keep a positive attitude.  Sitting in the living room eating cake straight from the pan with my roommates didn’t even really help all that much.  It mostly just made me want to cry.  My physical strength and athleticism are such a huge part of my identity that when it’s ripped from me it’s really hard for me to stay emotionally level.  This happened last year, too.  I had a superstar attitude the first little while, but then I got tired and just wanted to go swimming or running…I think these days are supposed to be the ones that drive me to my knees to ask for help to cope.  Why is it so hard for me to do this?  Why can’t I just be humble and pour my heart out to God?  Am I afraid my words are going to stop at the ceiling?  Am I afraid of crying alone in my room?  Am I so worn out the thought of praying is overwhelming?

Yes.

I guess that gives me all the more reason to pray.  This is a seed I just don’t feel like planting tonight.  But I’m going to do it anyway.  Or try at least.  Maybe.

I was in a store the other day and observed a child throwing a fit.  The Grandmother was on her cell phone, kept talking and continued to threaten the child with a beating if he didn’t stop interrupting her.  The child was around six to eight years old, old enough to know better but he knew what he could get away with.  He was yelling and demanding for her to buy him something.  He then started hitting her.  Her threats didn’t phase him and she didn’t seem to mind getting hit on. Everyone in the store was watching since they were causing a scene.  ”I am going to whoop you” she would say.

I have observed several times when a parent will ask a child, “Do you want a spanking” or “I am going to wear you out!”  Yet, they don’t really mean it.  I was always taught if you say something or tell somebody something and don’t follow through with it, either you are a liar or you can’t be trusted.  Parents wonder why their children go through a stage of lying when in fact they have had the best teachers, the parents.  Our children our prime examples of us, our actions, our words and to the core of who they are.  I also had a woman to state that her child was the example of “her fruit” she would say as if she was proud of her child.  What she didn’t know was all the turmoil and bad actions her child had been producing. Yes, from her actions of letting her temper flare up, her child was definitely a product of her.   Now I know children will always gravitate to doing what they want in their teen years and we don’t always know what is going on.  My boys were not perfect during this time nor did I claim them to be.  I had to cut the apron strings and have faith they would know what to do in any given situation.  I haven’t always been an over protective mom.  I let them be boys and we had fun doing all the boy stuff when they were young.

If you have small boys under the age of ten to twelve (before puberty starts) a mommy will be their hero but after they reach a certain age, daddy is their hero.  Mothers have a certain love they can give their child that only a mommy can give them.  This nourishing aspect must be instilled so strongly in them during this time, they will know how to love their own wives.  I have a motto in which I tell all new mothers, “You are a beautiful mother to this precious little one, your ministry is the child that God has given you.”  I encourage to spend time with a child when small because the time will come that mommy will become “mom” and mom is in my business.  My boys love children, they use to beg me to have more babies.  It is really sweet to see my boys run to babies and actually want to hold them, cuddle with them and play with toddlers.  They will make great fathers one day.  I was a stay home mom having fun with my boys.  Yes, I neglected my chores right up to the time before Jeff got home and then I became the tornado in fast action to get all the toys put away before he arrived.  During church, we took them every time the church doors were open.  Consistentcy and faithfulness is what we tried to instill.  Even when they were sick, we took them for prayer.  We depended upon God to heal because we had little income during those days for doctor visits.

Our children, are replicas of us.  Your children are your fruit.  If we say and do the right things, they too will follow in our footsteps.  They might stray off the path in teen years, but what has been instilled in them, they will not depart from it.  It is us that must keep the faith and not waver during difficult times.  It is up to us not to give in to the enemy in temptation because our children are watching.  If we worship Jesus with all we have and be not afraid to express ourselves, our children will too.  On the other hand, our language, our bad attitudes, our habits, our mistakes and our sins will be repeated through our children because they are “our fruit”.  Just like the little child throwing the tantrum, I wonder how many times the grandmother has thrown a fit in her lifetime?  We train our children whether we think we do or not.  If you find you don’t like yourself or your actions and want to change, think about what your children are learning from you.  Outside influences has a great impact too but if we can spend more time with them as they are small we have the best chance in raising the best children to make a difference in the world we live in.  The next time you throw a tantrum because you don’t get your way, look around to see who is watching.

Prayer:  Lord forgive us for the tantrums we have thrown in public or in our own homes in front of our children.  Teach us to be a child of yours, full of peace, holiness, grace and mercy.  Open our eyes to the fact of our  children being our fruit that you have given us to proclaim you in our world.  In Jesus Name, amen.

Psalms 127:3  Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.

Proverbs 22:6  Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

James 1:18  He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.

Bringing this blog back = Exhibit A

This is one of my favorite sayings that I repeat to myself these days.  It does put a spring in my step, a cocky angle to my head, a saucy swagger in my walk.  I mean, why not?  If it makes me feel better and puts a smile on my face…just because it’s such an outrageously silly assertion…although I am a huge fan of the late, great Davis…why, really, not???

Another expression that flashes through my mind a lot is the phrase “I’m walking naked down the street” to the tune of the opening lines of the song “Doo-Wah-Diddy”.  My version goes like this:

Here I come, walkin’ naked down the street

stoppin’ traffic, scarin’ everyone I meet…

It’s rather come to represent a time of carefree fun…i.e., “This weekend, I’ll be walkin’ naked down the street”.  Similar to “ridin’ high” and other such expressions.  Once this play I’m in is over, I’ll be walkin’ naked down the street again, free as the breeze.

Not that I’m an exhibitionist.  But it never ceases to make me laugh when I think about strutting naked through a board room at work during a big meeting of the Suits…picking up bagels and doughnuts and throwing them at those fat, withered men in their strait-jackets of conservatism and conformity, and when confronted, shouting “Oh, fuck off!!!  I’m Bette Davis, and I can do any goddam thing I want!  Even walk naked down the hallway into your lame-ass excuse for a chatfest!”

I don’t know what it is. School, Birthday coming up, What happened to my Stepdad, Bears losing, alchoholic depression, a combo of everything. I just don’t want to do shite. I missed working out today on purpose. I just didn’t want to get out of bed. I just wanted to lay there. I’m not sad, or really depressed about any one thing. I just feel blaise, like what’s the point? Like I’m in a Rut.

The problem is I have to stay ever vigilant on my emotions, and feelings. Depression runs in our family, and I had a problem with it before.

I know this is a piss poor attitude, and I’ll need to snap out of it before it really hits home. If I go into my Birthday with this funk, I’m going to be a gloomy gus indeed. I don’t do bday’s very well. Thank god for Whiskey.  Seriously though if the funk persists, I’ll have to do something drastic like join a boxing club or something.

I started this as a weight loss blog and I’ve been posting about everything but losing weight for the last couple of posts and the trend continues, well at least right now. Today I woke up feeling 100% better despite all the crap I’ve been going through. For the last 3 days my eating has been off the wall. The night I found out my grandfather died, I went out at 9:30 at night brought a 12 pack of Ultra lite, and some fried chicken, and a bottle of hot sauce. I ended up eating one breast doused in hot sauce and drinking 3 beers. Speaking of emotional eating, before I even left the house I at 3 diet candy bars(they are high fiber, low sugar but taste so good). The next day featured more hot sauce, beer(2) and friend chicken for dinner, after eating fast food for lunch. Tonight hasn’t been much better, Chinese food for dinner but no alcohol. The bad thing is I have no appetite. I have just this empty feeling, that I am just mindlessly eating to fill. I thought I was over that, and beyond the emotional eating. Granted I’m not binging like I would do in the past. I haven’t crushed a whole bag of cookies, or a thing of ice cream in one sitting. I’m just eating stuff I normally wouldn’t be eating. Does it make me feel better? Nope, not at all. If anything I felt worse after eating the crap, because I know its wrong.  But each day is a new day, and a new start. So tomorrow I will do better, I will try.

This morning I woke up in a fairly good mood. I had a good breakfast, a cup of green tea and I got a lot of cleaning done. My psych clinical was canceled so I didn’t have to go to class or the hospital today. Instead we were told to find an NA meeting or an AA meeting to attend. Tonight I went to the AA meeting and tomorrow night I have to go to an NA meeting so that I can compare and contrast the two formats. So I am wondering will it be as interesting as the AA meeting. We have to do this is in an effort to gain insight into the whole process before we come into contact with addicts and such during psych rotations. The big thing with doing rotations in the psych hospital is to check your own judgements and feelings at the door. So I had no problem going to a meeting. I have come in pretty close contact with addicts and substance abusers in my life so I have a negative feeling about addiction and recovery. Honestly I don’t believe in recovery. show me a recovered addict and I will show you someone one step away from a drink and a hit. But I went to the meeting, because it’s not about how I feel about it. Its about how the patients feel about it. Well I think it’s great that people are getting help, and want change. I’ve just had too much experience with that relapsing addict. During the meeting I felt kind of weird at first because I had such negative feelings about the situation. I also kept getting stared at. When it was my turn to “share” into their discussion about pride, humility, and serenity. I talked a little about it, then I told them I’ve been through a lot lately. I told them I just had emergency surgery, I just lost my grandfather, who felt more like my father than my own dad, and that I had just started the hardest year of my nursing school. I also told them I have been dealing with my stress and emotions with alcohol. I didn’t say I was an addict or pick up those chips they were passing around or anything like that. But I didn’t want to sit there like a bump on a long, so I joined in their discussions. The stories’ the men and woman shared were very interesting. Even though a lot of them relapsed a lot  I didn’t feel the same bitterness and negativity as I did when I went in with. I found them inspiring because they were trying, even if not succeeding.

Most of the stories I could relate to personally or with my experience with dealing with addicts. But on a personal level I felt like it related to my current spiraling. I won’t say spiraling out of control but more playing with fire. Starting to drink again, and knowingly emotionally eating is a slippery slop for me. I know for a fact that I was a food addict in the past. The simple act of eating a cookie was enough to get me “high”, sometimes one would do. But most of the time I would find myself back in the kitchen no later than 10 minutes. I was that snacker in bed. Before going to sleep at night I would have my doughnut sticks as my reward for a hard day. If I felt sad, I ate. If I felt tired, I ate. I really didn’t even need an excuse to eat. I ate despite being stuffed or full, or not even hungry. It was my addiction. For me alcohol and excess food were like both cut from the same cloth. If I was having some beer then I just HAD to have my two bag of chips, pack of m&ms, beef jerky, and some other candy. You know you got it bad when you make sure you have backup snacks in the house just in case you run out and you NEED to have some more. So I’ve come a long way, but this past week I’ve found myself playing with fire, and not just craving alcohol but feeling like I NEED it. Not just craving bad for you food (I swear these diet candy bars taste just like Pay days and Snickers with just 1 gram of sugar), but feeling like I NEED it. I’ve also been so snappy, moody, and an all around b*tch. That’s why I have been limiting my time of LJ and Spark because the littlest things have been setting me off. But that is sooo not like me usually. Like in the last post I mentioned that I went to the docotor about my sutures opening up and drainng all over the place. But you should have heard the argument I got in with the docotor. I have NEVER talked to a medical professional like that before in my life. She told me she didn’t see any drainage while see was wiping the suture with some gauze. Of course all she had to do was turn it over and look at the brownish greenish crap on the other side. But before she had the chance, as soon as she said she didn’t see anything I was like, “Are you serious? Did you even finish medical school? If you can’t tell this is infected then there is something wrong with you. take a look at this suture, you see how nice and closed it is. Now look back at this one, big gaping wound with pus drainage, and it’s smelly. If you think that’s normal then you need to find a new profession” What a b*tch I was, poor lady! She said she didn’t mean it wasn’t infected she was just talking to herself while she was doing her assessment. But needless to say my little rant had her shuck. I won’t even continue with the rest of the conversation but lets just say before I left the office that day a supervisor or attending or whatever she said she was came in with an attitude just as bad as mine. She said her piece while rolling her eyes continuously at me and stormed off. Just as a side note this was not my normal Doctor or the Doctor that did the surgery. These were new people I had never seen before. Despite the pain I was in or what i was feeling at the time, my behavior was inexcusable.  I just had no patience or tolerance for nonsense that day. I guess I was so short tempered with her because I had been having such a bad experience with Doctor’s lately. So you see I’ve been really short tempered lately. I need to get that in check fast, you can’t be in this profession and not expect to have situations where you HAVE to turn the other cheek. Where you HAVE to let stuff go. So I need to take a big woos-ha now and get over it all, and just do what I have to do. So that is my confession, I confess that I have been eating bad for the last 3 days. I confess that I have been drinking for the last two days. I also confess that I have been displacing my feelings. Instead of being all sad and mopey I’ve been a B for not good reason at all. I confess that I don’t have all the answers. I also confess that I am still a work in progress. I really believe we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge so I am acknowledging my current flaws. While I’m not fully off track, I am zig zaging all over the place. All I can do is try to do that right thing each day.  I will strive to make each day better than the last.

One day I took a walk with the husband and the dog.  It was a beautiful Saturday and the streets were crowded.

We leave the house.

Husband:

As we tried to pass a couple with some kids: Damn yuppies with their double wide strollers taking up the whole sidewalk.  They think they own the street.

As we tried to pass a guy with a dog who was trying to go after our dog: Damn people with their dogs they aren’t paying attention to.

As someone was just about to walk into us: Damn people walking and texting at the same time.

After about an hour of this I gave him the “look”.  For those of you who have been married for more than 15 minutes, you know the “look.”

Then I told him this walk was worse then when I walk the dogs with Charlie at night.  I said he better get to work where a nice bloody crime scene might lower his blood pressure.

Later that evening….I retell the story to Charlie, LEAVING IN THE PART ABOUT THAT WALK BEING WORSE THAN WHEN I WALK THE DOGS WITH CHARLIE AT NIGHT.

Charlie (luckily) laughs and then tells me he is going to be Peter Positive.  So since then, just as Charlie is about to complain about the people, the dogs, the buildings, his job, he will stop himself and change the sentence around so that it’s positive.

Just a few days ago, as we walked by some horrible new construction that has been going up all over Park Slope, Charlie turns to me and as he is about to say something about how horrible the building is or how it will probably fall apart and be an eyesore and a ghetto in a few years he stops himself, smiles and says “Isn’t it interesting how that building has changed the landscape of Park Slope.”

Peter Positive lasted 15 minutes.

A leopard can’t change it’s spots.

A color wheel can’t change it’s colors.   Or can it?   We learned some color theory in class on Wed.   It was fun to see how different primary colors change the secondary colors and tertiary colors.  I have to do another one as homework using different primaries.   I tried one already, but it was on Strathmore paper which DOESN’T COMPARE to Arches.

On another note, I finished the white vase with apples and brought it home.  I showed it to my husband the art critic who said “the vase needs more shading.  It looks like someone just cut out a rectangle where the vase is.”

Oh well,  I call it artistic license.  It’s staying as is.   I have color wheels to do.

The total distance from Kampala to Nairobi is 700km. It took us 13 hrs having stop over at Eldoret for lunch prepared by our friend, Rieko San. she was posted there by the Japan Embassy.

We set off on Saturday afternoon 3pm from Kampala and stayed the night at our friend’s resort, Kingfisher Safaris in Jinja. We wanted to cut off some running time the following day so that we can reach Nairobi earlier. This way, we would have already covered 82km.

Hampton House

By the time we reach Hampton House, the place we are going to put up for the next 7 days, it was almost 8pm in the evening. Hampton House is a guesthouse run by an expatriate catering for Missionaries traveling around East Africa. The place is very well furnished, with an attached kitchen shared between to occupants. The place is really value  for money going for about S$50 per night.

Hampton House compound

Nairobi right now is in her winter period with a temperature of 23°C during the day, dropping to 15°C in the evening.

It was 8 years ago that I drove here. How time flies. I was with Professor Horn then, visiting bee institute and Organizations in the honey trade. The honey industry is more developed than Uganda. It will take some time for Uganda to catch up.

Hampton House room

I was really impressed by the setup. The rooms are very spacious with a separate small living room easily accommodating 4 adults. The beds are comfortable and firm. The rooms are also fitted with a safe deposit box for your valuables and passport. It is already a well known fact in Nairobi, daylight robbing and pickpockets if you are not careful. So having your valuables safely locked in the room is a good idea.

Hampton House interior compound

I had a good sleep after the long drive. The next morning I was greeted by the cold fresh air. Luckily the guesthouse do provide a heater so that the rooms are warm and cozy in these weather.

One of my mission for this trip is to visit manufacturers for packaging materials for my honey. I need to keep myself up to date with the industry in order to be competent. Packaging and value adding is a must in order to push my honey to the next level.

Nairobi CBD area

The atmosphere in Nairobi reminds me of Singapore in the early 80’s. New and high rise buildings are sprouting up everywhere. Kenyans dressing are more affluent than Ugandans. Even the way they walk are comparable to Asians, brisk.

One thing for sure, the traffic is much more organized and the people here drive with better driving attitude. This is one thing Uganda is lacking. In Uganda, if there is a traffic jam, you will see drivers having the biggest car will try and squeeze and overtake the queue thus causing bottleneck jams.

Table soccer

Coming back to Hampton House, I chance upon this item which I had not seen for a long long time. It is a table soccer which I used to enjoy playing during my secondary school days. I spent a lot of  my time playing it at the amusement centre.

My younger brother was very good at it and he gets me so frustrated whenever I played with him. I always lose to him, grunt…

But anyway, it was fun…..frustrating but fun!

Have you ever wondered whether those meaningless encounters you have throughout the course of the day actually have meaning? For example, let’s say you are going through the checkout at Target and the checker rings up your toilet paper. When the price pops up on the screen you realize it is $10 too expensive, so you point this out to the checker. The checker, realizing such expensive toilet paper is ludicrous (even for the double-quilted) halts the operation to get a price check. You, being the impatient customer, decide to make a fuss about the extra hassle even though the poor checker has absolutely no control over the situation and is doing everything in his or her power to remedy the situation. Your bitching has now flustered and frustrated the checker, and even though you are now on your way out the door, the effect of your pointless griping still lingers in the checkout lane. The checker is now most likely emotionally hurt or rightfully crabby, and the checker’s negative demeanor will be apparent when dealing with customers for the rest of the day. These customers, being exposed to the checker’s misaligned disposition, will carry with them some remnant of that negativity and will transfer some of that anti-happiness with each transaction. Through such transmission, your ten seconds of bad attitude toward one person has now been amplified possibly hundreds of times and ruined many days. Now, take this same scenario, and instead of complaining about the situation simply put a smile on your face and either wait patiently or start a kind conversation with the checker to pass the time. Instead of spreading negativity, you have now either kept things at the status quo or helped improve the checker’s day which, in turn, has improved the day for the customers who follow in your wake. I would like to think I can live a life where people end up having a better day because of my actions. It is hard to be perfect, but hopefully you will think twice before letting harsh words exit your speak-hole.

Ever have one of those days? Of course–we all have. Today was one of them for me. From start to finish it has been one stupid thing after another. Nothing catastrophic, and if I was smart I wouldn’t complain at all and tempt fate enough to make things worse. I thought it was just me being hormonal or something and then I got a call from my daughter who was basically having my same day…except even worse. Her car broke down on the freeway in the heat of the afternoon and she had to sit and wait (hot and a little scared) for a tow-truck. Then she called her boss back who had left her a message and there was a huge misunderstanding at work and she basically got the short end of the stick and all fingers pointed to her. Then the coup de grâce–she got the news about her car– it wasn’t fatal, but would require a part and she was going to be car-less for a day or two which would only complicate the work situation and life in general. She was feeling overwhelmed and was starting to cry a little bit. I got it completely and it made me feel really sad to hear the emotion in her voice and know that I couldn’t do to much to help her out except listen, commiserate, and tell her that tomorrow would be a better day for both of us. (God, I hope so!) Then just a few moments ago I opened an email from her and she had sent me a picture that she had taken at some point today during her day of crisis and I realized that in spite of everything that had gone wrong for her…she was still able to stop and appreciate something beautiful, take this photo and send it off to her mom. Amazing. I needed an attitude adjustment and I think I just got it. I love you too, sweetie!

I have been very short tempered this past week. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. I am actually VERY patient when it comes to my temper, but I really don’t know how else to explain. Maybe the term “irritable” would be a better descriptor. Let’s roll with that…..I’ve been exceptionally IRRITABLE lately. I have no good excuse, so don’t even ask, however I have been making a pointed attempt at acknowledging my poor attitude and doing my best to keep from letting my mood affect those around me. Hasn’t worked like a charm, but I’ve noticed I’ve made some better choices lately than I typically would when I’m being grumpy or overly-emotional.

Seriously. What the hell am I talking about? After reading that paragraph I would have opted out of the rest of this blog. No one cares about my moods or how I deal with them. Eff that noise, I’ll move on to what I had originally intended on blogging about. Things that make me HAPPY. I’m going to keep this short and sweet and just list a few things that I dig. The whole point that I’ve been trying to make is that focusing on things that make me HAPPY have really helped me lose the bad attitude. So here goes…..

• Fudge-cicles. I just discovered 90 calorie fudge-cicles at Costco and they’re so tasty delicious.
• When I come downstairs to see Tayler lying on the couch and she’s in some retarded looking shape completely passed out as if she was drunk = Instant smile.
• The 6-4-3 double-play….with authority.
• When my sister calls me but I answer and it’s my nephew who says “Hi Aunt Daena”. 
• Getting a compliment on the color of my toe nail polish
• Being surprised or unexpectedly thought of with a simple text or invitation somewhere.
• Fantasy Football is near….very near
• Carl’s Jr. Commercials
• Nailing a drum solo on Guitar Hero
• Having an apple a day
• Hilarious tweets
• Having a friend call me on the phone and TELL me to vent. Now that’s a good friend.
• Wednesday and Thursday mornings with the guys
• Hazelnut creamer = Glorious.
• Moral support
• Direct TV gets installed this weekend with the NFL Package
• Being called out on something- Yes, I like that….when it’s valid.
• Street Sweeper Social Club
• Being told I make the room smell better
• Introducing friends to friends
• Strawberries. Strawberries. Strawberries.
• Having lunch with a friend and a real conversation
• Angels Games
• Wearing Pumas instead of heels on weekends
• Thunder and lightning
• And finally….LEARNING. Nothing has made me happier than the new and interesting things I’ve learned, learning from my mistakes and learning how to do new things. That feels good.

There you go. Next time I’m a bitch to you, go ahead and call me out on it and remind me of one of these happy things.