I got it in my head that I really want a pair of cute navy jeans with little white polkadots for spring.  Look it up on Polyvore, and you’ll get a whole bunch of options ranging from $15 all the way up to $400+ for a pair. My budget is slim for short-term fashion, unlike my with-actual-curves body.  The options on offer seem to be mostly geared toward the skinny-minnie girls. Sigh.

I started at Target. Visually pleasing, low price point, and a cropped length for spring. Dressing room trauma in 3, 2, 1…  Apparently “Mid-Rise” means very different things in different stores. This pair was an instant spare-tire-maker, but really cute from the knee down. Fail #1.

Merona/Target $24.99.

I went online and looked at as many options as I could. But I was unable to put my finger on that fine line between unreasonably low-waisted and unreasonably mom-jeaned. In most cases the possible best options came in at around $100.

Today I moved on to Kohl’s department store for the simple reason that I needed to return an ugly tie for Mr. Pants. While I was there, I took three options into the dressing room. Failures # 2.3.4.   Admittedly, the fashions at Kohl’s are not always on point, but really, folks, REALLY??? At the least-terrible, Lee Slender Secrets. If I had a smaller bootay, these would have been a winner.

Kohls/Lee. $34.99.

Kohls/Lauren Conrad. $38.00

Ok, I know this post is a total downer. So does anyone have any advice for me, short of finding another pair of jeans and polka-dotting them myself? Whew, exhausting. I wonder what is going to happen when I try to find a coral cardigan…

It’s been a week since the 3% conference, and while I’ve got some things written down, I’m not really ready to post it yet. What I am ready to post is a sneak peek of some tastylicious process on this new personal project I’ve been working on. It deals with my experiences in 2008 with a focus on New York City, working in an Advertising Agency,  losing some of the most important people in my life, and the additional PTSD I walked away with because of it all.

It was an extremely difficult year, and while I know what it took to overcome these experiences, I’m happy what’s coming out of them is a very satisfying personal endeavor.  Jake wanted me to wait to post them until I had more, but I just love this one so much I had to share.

I haven’t named it, but it deals with the reality of being a ‘bad fit’. The image is actually ‘constructed’ from 10 different images of women during the Civil War (more on that choice when I show more pieces). It’s a strange conundrum: knowing yourself to be a certain way, but being treated and perceived as if you were the opposite.  If you’ve never experienced how ostracizing an ill-fitting job can be, consider yourself ruthlessly blessed.

Over the past week, I’ve been in the middle of some hard conversations. Two of these conversations were about the “fit” between student and teacher. In one case, I was the teacher, and in the other, I was the student.

Some people can take me, and some can’t. I’m an intensively laid-back person, if that makes any sense: I come across as intense, but when it comes down to it, not much frazzles me or frustrates me. The best thing you can bring into a relationship with me is honesty. With honesty, we can get a lot done.

So while most of my students over the years have “stuck” for considerable amount of time, and others have fallen away because of financial reasons or just life changes, there are situations where I have students that just don’t feel we “click”. Generally speaking, I detect this in the glazed-over expression on their face while we’re talking. And at that point, it’s not really worth it for me to try to convince them that we are a good fit. So seeing the look on the face (I can’t remember a time the “talk” was not preceded by the look, but it might have happened), I am completely ready for the talk to come.

Back in the day, I would take it personally when a student would stop study with me to find another teacher. I wondered what I did wrong. But more often than not, I didn’t do anything wrong, they just needed someone with a different style. Sort of like when you get turned down for the part because they’re looking for a different “type”. Nothing wrong with your singing, it’s just not a good “fit”.

So these days, I generally apologize if there was any misunderstanding or the student felt offended, but other than that, I leave it to, “That’s excellent that you know what you’re looking for in a teacher. I’m glad we had a chance to work together, even for a lesson or two, and I wish you the best of luck. Keep in touch.” And they often do. It’s not like we’re breaking up. They are finding themselves.

Having been on the flip side of that when I’ve had teachers who did not click with me, I know how frustrating it can be when you’reassigned a teacher who you don’t feel respects you or “gets” you. This happened a couple of times in my undergrad studies, but it also helped to make me a stronger person and a better communicator as I sought to communicate with people who I didn’t really understand or who didn’t understand me.

On the flip side, I recently had a talk with my current teacher at McNally. As I’ve gushed in the past, she is a fantastic teacher and I’ve learned an incredible amount from her. However, due the closeness of our ages, it puts an interesting dynamic into our student-teaching relationship. The way that I communicate is something that has to be taken at face-value, because if you try to interpret it, things get confused. So we talked this week about me starting with another teacher in the fall. That is a different kind of hard, when a teacher tells you that it’s time for you to move on. I’ve never done that with any students of mine, other than once when the student was just too young to be taking lessons. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not sometimes necessary. It is about everyone working well together, and I’m thrilled that Jen is able to give me the recommendation to study with one of the other fantastic McNally faculty members.

It all comes down to being humble and letting it go. There is no need to know why someone doesn’t think we’re a good fit. The fact that they think that is valid, and good enough. If the conversation ends with that understanding, then respect is likely maintained, and a working relationship can be fostered in the future. But offense will blind both sides. Defensiveness will make everything seem like an attack, even when that’s not the intention. Sometimes using few words is the best way to communicate. I’m still learning that.

So, what are the most common types of problem employees and how can you prevent them from infecting your workforce?  Well, the next series of blogs will address the top five types of problem employees and some tips on avoiding them.

Part 1:  The Bad Fit

"Mr. Square, we don't believe you are a good fit for our company."

Sometimes, you hire out of urgency, frustration or frankly…stupidity.  No, this isn’t a ”dig” at you, but it is impossible to be an expert in your business and then an expert in activities that support it – like recruiting and HR.  So, how do you  avoid hiring the wrong person for the right reason or the right person for the wrong reason?  Well, here are a few tips:

1. Lay Out Your Expectations:  Make sure the ad you post is clear on what you are looking for, truthful about the job duties and straightforward about the compensation and benefit package.
2. Screen Resumes:  I know, it is time-consuming and a bit boring, but you need to screen your applications/resumes before you can even begin to consider who to interview.  Make sure you only take the next step on those candidates that meet your requirements.
3. Interview TWICE:  It is advisable to do one of two things for a candidate (especially one in management), either interview them twice or have another person in your organization interview them as well.  You would be surprised how first impressions can change between meetings or between interviewers.
4. Test:  When hiring a crucial team member, it is advisable to have the candidate complete some type of profile testing.  Doing this correctly can really minimize the chance of hiring a bad fit.  Also, if you are hiring someone for a technical position, consider some type of competency or skill testing.
5. Check:  No, don’t write a check…but perform ALL of the following when necessary:
• Reference Check:  This one task is one of the most neglected aspects of the hiring process.  Many employers take information for granted when it comes to places a candidate worked, the tasks they performed, the pay scale they earned or even the degrees they achieved.  falsifying resume’s is on the rise and one way to combat this practice is to verify the information on it.  But, make sure to have a candidate sign an authorization allowing you to check their references and indicate if contacting their current employer (if applicable) is okay.
• Background Check: Especially if the employee will be in charge of other employees, finances or trusted with your trade secrets.  It is best to know if they have any criminal record, especially for violence or theft.
• NSOR (National Sexual Offender Registry):  VERY important if your new employee will be dealing with children, the disabled or elderly.  Most background check services include this with their normal screening.  Also, if your company is within 100 yards of a school, your local government may require you to perform these checks as well.
• MVR (Motor Vehicle Record):  If your new employee will be driving a company vehicle, issued a company car or driving their own vehicle for the position, your insurance carrier may require that you run this report on your new employees.  Some larger insurance agencies may actually run this for you at no additional charge.
• Credit Check:  New laws only allow you to run a credit report on employees that will be hired for a financial position (handling cash, your corporate checkbook, bank accounts, etc.).  If you have an employee that has been out of work for sometime due to the economy, you may find a rash of late pays on their file – don’t take this that they are a bad candidate, but someone who is a victim of the times and will be eager to work for you.  What to look for on the report will be foreclosures, write-off’s as bad debt, bankruptcies and collection activities that appear to be a pattern of financial disregard.
6. Fire:  When you fail to do the above or you just hired the best actor (and worst employee), it is time to let them go.  Letting an employee go before 30 days of employment will usually prevent your company from shouldering an unemployment claim.  Many states are “at-will”, so this means that at anytime, you can go to your employee and advise them that their services are no longer needed.  You are not required to warn them or work with them to make the situation better, you can just simply say “It’s not working out” or ”It’s just a bad fit”.  If they have been with you over 30 days, the employee will most likely qualify for unemployment benefits, so hiring right or recognizing a hiring error early is the key.

Hiring a bad fit can also be averted by using a professional recruiting firm to help you.  They will usually have the knowledge and tools to help you develop a great ad, screen through the resumes, check, verify and test candidates and narrow down your interview pool to two or three prime candidates qualified and eager to help you and your business succeed.

The next blog in the series will address “The Vanishing Act”, addressing employees absent from work; physically, mentally and/or emotionally.

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Author:  Charmaine Hollaway, Director of Operations of PANTHEOS

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You don’t need fashion designers when you are young. Have faith in your own bad taste. Buy the cheapest thing in your local thrift shop — the clothes that are freshly out of style with even the hippest people a few years older than you. Get on the fashion nerves of your peers, not your parents — that is the key to fashion leadership. Ill-fitting is always stylish. But be more creative — wear your clothes inside out, backward, upside down. Throw bleach in a load of colored laundry. Follow the exact opposite of the dry cleaning instructions inside the clothes that cost the most in your thrift shop. Don’t wear jewelry — stick Band-Aids on your wrists or make a necklace out of them. Wear Scotch tape on the side of your face like a bad face-lift (sic) attempt. Mismatch your shoes. Best yet, do as Mink Stole used to do: go to the thrift store the day after Halloween, when the children’s trick-or-treat costumes are on sale, buy one, and wear it as your uniform of defiance.

I feel like I’ve been attempting to emulate this attitude based on the obsessively-trying-not-to-care clothing culture that makes up the goofy, north west college town I live in for a while–not knowing whether I’ve been succeeding or failing in that attempt. Underneath my clothes are the best-fitting intimates I can afford, and as I move through life and career tracks, I hope to continue to demand high standards in this area of my life.  But on the outside, I imagine I’ll always be a little bit frumpy.  So, thank you John Waters, for praising the conflict that is my version of fashion.

I originally discovered the article on one of my favorite blogs, written by The Rejectionist.

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This month, Michelle Obama had the honor of being the first person ever to share the cover of O Magazine with Oprah Winfrey.

Michelle Obama on O Magazine

My first impression was that she looked fantastic.  Overall, that’s still true.  It’s a beautiful photograph of a beautiful woman, but there are really significant styling problems.

The colors together are gorgeous; vibrant coral and lemon yellow look great on the First Lady, and the whole thing just makes me feel happy all over.  The open neckline flatters her face.

The first problem is that awful belt that she wore when serving food to the homeless.  I’m sure the homeless had better things to worry about than her belt, but surely at O Magazine a very polite stylist could have guided her gently away from it.

It’s some sort of clear red wide plastic belt horror. “It came from the ’80s!!”  The rest of the problem is apparently the length of the cardigan.

What’s happening is that because the cardigan goes over her hips, it emphasizes rather than flatters or ignores.  In combination with the sweater, the belt chops her in the middle, making her look heavier .

But don’t take my word for it; see what the outfit could have looked like with a shorter sweater and no belt or with the belt, thanks to a great photoshop job by my friend LaynieLink, at my direction.  We make a good team.  Actually, with a shorter sweater and that coral dress, the belt…isn’t that bad.  Don’t hurt me.

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Michelle Obama at Arlington National Cemetary

Mrs. Obama is wearing a variation on the same style here at Arlington National Cemetery.

I almost really like this outfit.  I love the layering of colors and fabrics that she’s using; the overall idea of this outfit is really very chic.

Can you spot the problem?  Once again her sweater is too long for her, and instead of hanging straight it’s pulling at the buttons.  That’s a sign of a poor fit.

No matter how cute those trendy “boyfriend” sweaters are, if it doesn’t fit over your hips, it doesn’t fit. There will be other sweaters.  Your blogger promises.

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Michelle Obama at Ted Kennedy

Here’s where things start to go terribly terribly wrong.  In this picture the President and First Lady are at Senator Ted Kennedy’s birthday party .

She appears to be wearing a piñata, combined with I don’t even know what for necklaces.  Here’s a closeup.

Michelle Obama Vintage Necklaces

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According to the First Lady’s Press Secretary, these are vintage pieces.  Lovies, sometimes “vintage” is just another word for “old”.

I like the dangly blue necklace as a piece by itself, but it doesn’t work with what she’s wearing (what would??).  The yellow thing. I…I’m speechless.  I have no idea.  I don’t know what it is, what it was, what it’s supposed to be.  My apologies to Senator Kennedy.

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Michelle Obama at school

This week Mrs. Obama visited a school in one of the worst neighborhoods in Washington, DC to talk about growing up, and education, and First Daughters Malia and Sasha.

Can anyone tell me why she’s dressed like the Mother of the Bride Goes to a Funeral?  I just don’t get this outfit at all.

She’s wearing what may or may not be a pants suit.  The jacket looks like a raw silk, but the pants look like a smooth satin.  The whole thing looks like a fussy, too old, weird, ill-fitting mess.

Why is she wearing black in the daytime to a high school? What is that thing attacking her shoulder?  Why is she wearing tapered leg pants and why can’t she get cuter flats?

I care too much, I know.  It just kills me to see such a stunning woman take such strange fashion left turns.  *sigh* One day, my little pr0n pies.  One day people will listen to me.

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Michelle Obama at Fort Bragg

The outfit Mrs. Obama wore to Fort Bragg in North Carolina is equally puzzling.

Again with the long cardigan/belt combination, black pants – possibly the same she wore to school? and a white button down shirt underneath.

There’s classic and then there’s boring.  I’m so bored I’m falling asleep (and not because it’s nearly midnight as I write this).  Why black??  Don’t our troops deserve to be cheered up?  How about brown?  Brown is a serious color, but it’s still a color.

Why not add a colorful necklace here?  Or a colorful belt (though I’m still not crazy about this belt phase she’s going through).  Her face is glowing and radiant; I can’t say the same for her outfit.

Honestly she looks like she’s going to sit shiva.  Or maybe it’s me.

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I’m delighted to be able to end this post on a high note.  Today Mrs. Obama went to the ground-breaking of the new White House kitchen vegetable garden.  I could cry tears of joy.

Michelle Obama White House Vegetable Garden Groundbreaking

Mrs. Obama arrived in an oversized sweater/dress over a black turtleneck, and black leggings and paired with a black belt and black patent leather boots.

Here’s why it all works.  Without the belt, the sweater would look shapeless, keeping the outfit monochrome makes the whole thing long and lean, and overall it’s a a chic, relaxed style.  Personally I’d have exchanged the patent leather boots for a good pair of waterproof Wellies; this is DC in March we’re talking about after all, but no matter.

I’m giving this outfit an A. That’s right, this outfit takes the cake.  Well played, Mrs. Obama; our Shopping Pr0n hats are off to you.

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That’s all for tonight my pr0n pecans.  More tomorrow!

Until then, it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

All photos courtesy of the AP and the Huffington Post

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If you own any pieces of clothing, it wouldn’t hurt to know how to fix them. Here are the top ten basic ways to fix your wardrobe against any tears, stains, or just a bad fit.