Twitter Shenanigans – #BadECMSlogans

pmonks — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 23:25:48 +0000

Looks like this blog is transforming into an archive of snarky #ECM hashtags on twitter, but I guess it could be worse… …I could still be trying to write real blog posts. *sigh*

As with the last one of these, I’ve removed retweets, meta-comments about the meme, etc. Also, the twitter search APIs totally suck at giving the same results twice, so if you notice tweets missing from this list, please let me know (@pmonks) and I’ll happily add them in.

Who / When	What	Editorial Comment by Moi
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 15:09:48	Not sure about #ECM, why don’t you #mullet over. #BadECMSlogans	+6.022E23 points for raising the tone of the conversation by introducing the ultimate hairstyle.
@pmonks 2012-03-30 15:02:50	We don’t really have a solution for you, but we know @piewords. #BadECMSlogans
@jedpc 2012-03-30 15:00:44	SharePoint it’s an ECMS, honest….. #BadECMSlogans
@bduhon 2012-03-30 14:06:23	#ECM: Attempting to solve the same problem as microfilm for 20 years. #BadECMSlogans
@CherylMcKinnon 2012-03-30 14:06:14	Met my quarterly KPI by turning @piewords into a leading provider of #BadECMSlogans	Aha! So we discovered the true source of this meme! I always thought @piewords was a mere #ECMCoven puppet. Or is he a muppet?
@piewords 2012-03-30 13:54:31	We are like Buck Rodgers. Give us your Content & you won’t find it for 500 years #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 13:50:53	#ECM – because your content will be even more important to future generations as it is to you! #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 13:49:55	#ECM You’ll check out before your content does. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 13:46:34	Content Mgmt, Content checks in but it can’t check out #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 13:44:54	We have extensive support for inbound content migration! <fineprint>But don’t support outbound migration at all.</fineprint> #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 13:38:37	Yes, we’ve failed in the past, but you still have a Content problem & we still want to make money #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@danieloleary 2012-03-30 13:32:29	Spend 85% of your IT budget on maintenance, get a new version every 5 years #badecmslogans #ecm
@proops 2012-03-30 13:21:41	#BadECMSlogans we IDOLize your content
@proops 2012-03-30 13:17:53	#BadECMSlogans positive file-osophy
@piewords 2012-03-30 13:14:35	Afraid of the future? Content Mgmt will help you stay focused on the past #BadECMSlogans #ECM	Highly commended!
@proops 2012-03-30 12:55:45	in summary #BadECMSlogans from vendors: meaning based fusion making better decisions faster
@andrewtilbury 2012-03-30 12:51:16	#BadECMSlogans #ECM Something something STREAMLINE, something something PRODUCTIVITY, something something EASY TO INTEGRATE…
@proops 2012-03-30 12:51:04	you can find all the #BadECMSlogans you want just by visiting the vendors’ sites	True, but it’s more fun to try to guess what the vendors are going to say next.
@piewords 2012-03-30 12:50:51	We’ll help you disguise your business problems as technology problems #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 12:49:32	Our product will streamline your inorganic process, enabling knowledge workers to optimize to a new emergent level #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 12:44:10	Capturing your dollars as well as your content. #BadECMSlogans #ECM	Highly commended!
@piewords 2012-03-30 12:40:25	You’ll like us so much that you’ll be asking for our Search product next #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 12:38:08	4/5 Analysts think we rock #BadECMSlogans #ECM	A very close second favourite!
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 12:37:36	#ECM – When #CRM, #BPM, #ERP just aren’t enough. #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 12:32:27	Because we’re an innovative, visionary, leading, collaborator in Fartner’s Tragic Quadrant. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon 2012-03-30 12:25:53	No, you don’t need a taxonomy, our search module will take care of that #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 12:16:38	#ECM – It’s like having your very own Ollie North. #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks 2012-03-30 12:04:17	Without #ECM @piewords & @pmonks wouldn’t have met, fallen in love, started a family (@ljseverson, @danieloleary)! #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks 2012-03-30 12:02:36	“@piewords: Store now, find later, much later, if at all #BadECMSlogans #ECM” < fixed
@piewords 2012-03-30 12:00:49	Store now, find later, much later #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:59:55	Just Scan It! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:58:18	#ECM – at least we don’t chop down forests or spill oil in the ocean! #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:55:09	Social #ECM – where "social" means "Stockholm Syndrome". #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:45:07	Mobile #ECM – not finding your content no matter where you are. #BadECMSlogans
@bduhon 2012-03-30 11:42:42	#ECM: Keeping @piewords off the streets since 1997 #badecmslogans	Would be good if I hadn’t heard a rumour about one @piewords roaming the streets of the Mission District of San Francisco at a very late hour last Thursday…
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:41:04	Their product may work better, but soon they’ll be bought by us & we’ll fix that #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@andrewg95 2012-03-30 11:38:04	ECM is a domain-specific technology for generating complicated tabbed-dialog boxes when saving documents. #BadECMSlogans
@LFMeghann 2012-03-30 11:37:39	ECM: So easy even an end user could use it! #BadECMSlogans	Highly commended!
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:37:12	It’s just like Ex Lax. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:35:25	Let’s you focus on your core business. If your core business is funding endless projects. #BadECMSlogans #ECM	Highly commended!
@andrewg95 2012-03-30 11:33:37	If you think Content is complex, wait’ll you get a load of our Management #BadECMSlogans #ECM	My personal favourite! @andrewg95 wins a night out with me next time he’s in San Francisco!
@AlistairPugin 2012-03-30 11:28:50	We can integrate into you backend systems seamlessly and surface your data #badecmslogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:27:23	I shot the sheriff. But they lost the photographic evidence. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:26:35	RT @bduhon: #ECM: Oh, yeah. We take care of moving that out of box #badecmslogans < fixed
@bduhon 2012-03-30 11:26:05	#ECM: Oh, yeah. We take care of that out of the box #badecmslogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:26:01	If we knew what we were doing, do you think we’d be doing this? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:24:14	This is your content. This is your content on drugs. Any questions? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon 2012-03-30 11:24:10	Automating your content and business processes for efficiency and ROI #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:23:56	#ECM – an excuse for balding, overweight middle-aged folks to meet up at conferences and lie about their glorious past. #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:22:53	#ECM – it’s like having your very own TLA generator. #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:22:04	"RT @juergmeier: @pmonks "#ECM: now we have a new term that keeps us busy the next 10 years" #aiim conference, 1998" #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:19:55	@piewords Like drugs? Try implementing #ECM and get hooked. #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:18:30	#ECM – because if you don’t, it’ll be your arse on the line when the auditors come knocking. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:18:09	Like beer? Buy Content Mgmt & have a reason to drink for the rest of your life #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:17:38	Cloud Content Management – ’cause we can’t be bothered either. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:15:29	Nothing kickstarts the career of a professional poker player better than an #ECM sales job! Apply today! #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:15:05	Content Mgmt, paying for my kids college fund since 1997 #BadECMSlogans #ECM	Trust @piewords to state the unadulterated truth.
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:14:10	Content Mgmt, tricking companies into acquisitions for 20 years #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:14:01	#ECM – encouraging content silos so that your kids can experience what you experienced. #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:13:35	Why should lawyers make all the money? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:12:33	If it’s in there we’ll find it. Trust us. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:10:48	Yeah, we can’t solve Content Mgmt, but neither can they #BadECMSlogans #ECM #truth
@bduhon 2012-03-30 11:08:02	#ECM: It’s in there #badecmslogans
@rcromero 2012-03-30 11:07:41	EMC – Content Mgmt never was so fun! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@DAntion 2012-03-30 11:07:20	#ECM in the #Cloud: Because otherwise I’d have to document SharePoint #badecmslogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:06:17	Content Mgmt, so easy, even @pmonks can do it! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:05:08	#ECM – providing employment to 50-something, balding, overweight, under motivated sales folk since 1990. #BadECMSlogans
@bduhon 2012-03-30 11:04:02	#ECM in the #Cloud: when you can’t be bothered to do it yourself #badecmslogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:03:51	It’s a beautiful interface. Why would I lie? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 11:01:36	We’re Midol for your ESI. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 11:00:51	Fixed RT @pmonks #ECM – trivializing web content management since 1995. #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks 2012-03-30 11:00:04	#ECM – ignoring web content management since 1995. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:59:22	Keeping the myth of DoD 5015.2 compliance alive since 1998 #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 10:59:05	It’s not like Sharepoint, it is Sharepoint. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:58:14	#ECM – because it’s hard to make money selling filesystems. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:57:16	Because Sanity is over-rated #BadECMSlogans #ECM #jackscale
@ron_miller 2012-03-30 10:55:00	At its heart, it’s really just a database. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@DAntion 2012-03-30 10:54:34	Cookies are content, calories are information, body fat is experience #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 10:54:07	#ECM The difference between plagiarism and content reuse. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:53:40	Solving new problems w/ the same tech for 20 years #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:53:05	Cloud content management – no we didn’t know your content was stored in North Korea either. The things you learn! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:52:20	Content Mgmt in the cloud, now you can blame someone else for lost content #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:52:06	#ECM – no one hides 1990-era technology behind 1995-era UIs better than us! #BadECMSlogans
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:50:43	#ECM – no we don’t know what it means either, but trust us – you need it worse than an emergency root canal! #BadECMSlogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 10:50:25	If we can’t find, they can’t find it. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon 2012-03-30 10:49:16	Clear skies: #ECM in the #cloud #badecmslogans
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 10:48:50	Like a high colonic for your Enterprise Information. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon 2012-03-30 10:48:03	#ECM: Because ALL of the new buzzwords are bullshit #badecmslogans	Ooh! A personal attack on @sliewehr – I LIKE!!1!
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:46:38	Adaptive Case Management, because we already sold you Info Mgmt and Content Mgmt #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:45:46	#ECM – because we just got the memo that Microfische is no longer cool. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:43:22	Better than a shared drive #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:41:32	Info Mgmt, because we already sold you Content Mgmt #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 10:41:30	Our solution, your problem. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@Dyldebeest 2012-03-30 10:38:20	@chris_p_walker Keep Your Content Content #BadECMSlogans
@ldallasBMOC 2012-03-30 10:38:16	Content Mgmt, Replacing the problems you thought you solved already #BadECMSlogans #ECM"
@chris_p_walker 2012-03-30 10:37:16	#ECM Putting the CON in Content. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:36:18	Content Mgmt, because job security is so hard to find #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ldallasBMOC 2012-03-30 10:35:21	Content Mgmt, like you’ve got something better to do #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:34:59	Content Mgmt Systems, because something has to make Ferraris look cheap #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:34:18	ECM – bringing all the fun & efficiency of paper handling to the computer! #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:33:19	"ECM" #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:31:07	"RT @justincormack: @pmonks content strategy is measured by purchases on @getshitter" < #BadECMSlogans	getshitter.com is a real business btw – I know what I’m asking for for my next birthday!!
@ron_miller 2012-03-30 10:28:42	If it were easy to use, what would you need us for? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ron_miller 2012-03-30 10:28:02	Abandon hope all who save your content here. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@motdiem 2012-03-30 10:27:26	#BadECMSlogans replace paperwork with contentwork
@fmiddleton 2012-03-30 10:27:04	The Megamillions Jackpot will almost cover the costs of a new ECM system #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:24:59	Because if you save enough Content, nobody will ever be able to find the evidence #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:24:58	#ECM – because your 26 existing content management systems aren’t enough. #BadECMSlogans
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:24:02	Content Mgmt, because sometimes the 3rd time is the charm #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:23:42	Content Management – it’s easier to let your employees use Box, then set aside sufficient funds for future settlements. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@motdiem 2012-03-30 10:22:59	#BadECMSlogans towards a Content Free Office
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:22:36	Content Mgmt, overwhelming eDiscovery lawyers since 1997 #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@fmiddleton 2012-03-30 10:22:17	An ECM system is what you finally get approval to buy five minutes after the lawyers call the CEO #BadECMSlogans #ECM	Highly commended!
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:22:02	Do you like paper cuts? Does removing staples from 42,135,772 stacks of papers sound like fun? Join an #ECM consultancy now! #BadECMSlogans
@motdiem 2012-03-30 10:21:29	#BadECMSlogans in soviet CMS, Contents own you
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:19:46	Drinking too much coffee? Our #CMS will keep you awake #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@fmiddleton 2012-03-30 10:19:22	Content isn’t like a box of chocolates, unless you’re still using 3×5 index cards #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon 2012-03-30 10:17:56	Our #CMS platform: it’ll manage info that would make a billy goat puke #BadECMSlogans #ecm
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:16:31	This is your father’s Content Mgmt System #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ron_miller 2012-03-30 10:15:20	It’s what we like to call the content black hole. #BadECMSlogas #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:14:26	Content Declared. The New Content Mgmt #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@bduhon 2012-03-30 10:14:03	Making You Content With Your Content RT @piewords: Need @bduhon to help w/ #BadECMSlogans
@ron_miller 2012-03-30 10:13:14	You want it useable or you want it on budget? #BadECMSlogas #ECM
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:13:05	Content Management: boring as batshit but who likes being sued and losing because they don’t have the paperwork? #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ron_miller 2012-03-30 10:12:32	Where content goes to die. #BadECMSlogas #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:12:06	This is Content Mgmt and This is What We Do #BadECMSlogas #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:11:02	It’s The End of Content as You Know It #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@ron_miller 2012-03-30 10:09:33	Once your your content’s gone, it can never come back. #BadECMSlogans #ECM (apologies to Neil Young)
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:08:53	Simple, Secure, Sharing from Anywhere #contradiction #BadECMSlogans #ECM	Copied verbatim from botox.net (@piewords objected).
@pmonks 2012-03-30 10:08:03	Content Management Platform for Business Applications #BadECMSlogans #ECM	Ditto (but from Nutseo).
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:07:11	All your Content are belong to us. #BadECMSlogans #ECM
@piewords 2012-03-30 10:04:53	If you had effective Content Mgmt, you’d be done w/ your weekly work by now. #BadECMSlogans #ECM	The post that kicked it all off.

PS. The code I use to get tweets out of Twitter is available as a gist.

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Twitter Shenanigans – #BadECMSlogans