‘Most men and women today are so defective and self-absorbed that the existence of other peoples’ humanity doesn’t register on any fundamental level. It’s like trying to explain the concept of sound to someone born deaf, or trying to teach empathy to a clinical psychopath. Nobody makes love anymore — they’re just masturbating into or with other people.’

does this strike a chord with you? to some degree I feel I’d fit into the category of people he’s describing. was reading an article about how a materialist (I like to think ‘concrete’) mindset prevents you from loving. however, it does allow for hedonism. it puts this into contrast with a ‘charitable’ mindset, where genuine selfless actions are possible (on a meta level, not sure ‘selflessness’ is possible, but I digress). in the hedonistic context, interest is lost as soon as there is no more pleasure to be gained, whereas we’re all familiar with love and how it is ostensibly patient and long-suffering and what-not…

I worry that I’ve lost the capacity for genuine love/compassion and my acts of ‘charity’ tend to be spontaneous, spur of the moment things, rather than something I prioritise. was reading about Buddhism because I though it would be a good idea to meditate and chill the fuck out, but, in truth, my heart kind of sank when constant references to having to deal with/love other people came up.

my narcissism is well scary.

Think I’m regressing in terms of my humanity. Think I struggle to find kinship with my fellow man and I’m coming over all nihilistic/solipsistic. I still like loads of people, but echoes from a religious childhood are telling me it’s really my duty to love all 7 billion of them.

And echoes of Ron Isley are telling me, at the very least, I need to love the one I’m with.