“When I get older I think I’m gonna marry a man with a job.”

“Oh yeah? Why is that?” I asked her, laughing, but not out loud because I wanted a candid response.

“Because I don’t think I want to pay the rent by myself.”

“Good point, but don’t most men have jobs?”

“Not hobos.”

I laughed out loud at this. “Why would you marry a hobo?”

“Well some men dress nice and pretend they’re not hobos, then you marry them and they become hobos.”

“Be careful not to choose one of those men, sweetie,” I told her. I briefly dated one of those men. Briefly, thank my good soul.

“You were sad when I came over Friday.”

“Yes, I was.”

“Yeah, I could tell. Why were you sad?” She asked, looking up at me.

“Because he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend.”

“Do you want my advice?”

I laughed yet again. “Sure, what is your advice?”

“Here’s what you should do….ignore him. Don’t talk to him. He will realize how much he loves you and come back.”

“Simple as that, eh?”

“Yes.”

If only life were as simple as it is to the 10 year old Dog Walker. If only.

From The AA:

U always look great in pink..but I think that blue u have on looks just as good! U look cute….

I know this is probably going to sound stupid, but I feel like my happy self today is kinda betraying the sad self of the weekend. Weird, no? Yeah, I’m a conundrum at every turn.

I feel oddly ok with everything today. I don’t feel like it’s over. I feel like I over-reacted at what he said. I don’t think he was saying we should stop, just that we still take time getting to know each other, building the friendship, not committing just yet. And that seems ok. As The Canadian said this morning it’s only been 3 months. There’s nothing wrong with where he’s at after this short amount of time. And it made sense to me.

So maybe I just needed a cry weekend for the fun of it. And now I feel a lil stupid because I think I got ridiculously emotional for nothin. And by ridiculously I mean REE-DICK-YOU-LESS-LEEE. I see it now. And ya’ll were nice enough to not tell me I was being retarded. So nice.

Sabe-se lá porque, mas fotografar animais dentro de xícaras virou moda ao redor do mundo. São cães, gatos, patos…Enfim, qualquer bicho que tenha um tamanho diminuto é candidato a virar celebridade no copinho de porcelana – claro, com um toque de criatividade do dono.

Confira a lista das 10 melhores imagens desta “nova modalidade” fotográfica, feita pelo blog BuzzFeed.

 1) Na xícara que imita um gramado, esse esquilo até parecia estar confortável

2) Pobres gatinhos, se colocassem água na xícara eles nem teriam como sair dela, tamanho é o aperto

3) De fato, eles não nadariam para muito longe…

4) Pela cara, não parece que o bicho está achando a xícara mais legal que uma ratoeira

5) Para esse gatinho minúsculo aqui, tiveram que arrajar uma xícara bem rasa

6) Ao contrário desse aqui: já grandinho, tiveram que usar uma xícara que mais parece uma caneca de sopa

7) Esse chihuahua lembra o candidato ao menor cão do mundo. Clique aqui para ver!

8 ) Esse furão não está assustado por conta da fotografia, mas sim pela enorme quantidade de bolinhas e listrinhas

9) O hamster não estava tão interessado assim em virar celebridade

10) E, por fim, coelhos!

 Fonte: www.colunas.globorural.globo.com/bloggloborural

I drank more wine this weekend than I’m comfortable admitting. I shed more tears than I have in the past year….probably two years. I did nothing but drink, cry, sleep and watch FaLaLaLa Lifetime xmas movies. And now I’m done. I allowed myself the weekend to grieve. Now it’s time to suck it up, renew my strength and get the fuck over it/him.

Hell, we didn’t even have sex. Maybe he knows he’s really bad in bed and he knew I’d be incredible so he got scared. I’m going to run with this theory. Why would I want to be with someone who sucks in bed?

Speaking of incredible sex Mr. Delicious was supposed to come get his cupcakes last night, but I didn’t really feel like making them so I asked him to wait till tonight. He said no problem. So tonight I’ll make his red velvet, look like a seductress, be wine-free and get that hug I so badly needed this weekend. I can already see how this will go down…he’ll come in, hug me hard, laugh at the dogs, sit down on my couch and turn on ESPN, ask if I’m ok, tell me he misses hanging out with me, brush the hair from my face and let his fingers softly touch my ear as he does, I’ll tingle, call him a tease, blush, want to remember what he feels like, want to use him to make some of the pain go away, he’ll oblige, kiss me, I’ll remember Alex’s words to not go back to him and push him away, ask him to leave, take his money, hand him a box of cupcakes and shut the door.

I have a new love for Moxie after this weekend. She’s never been as cuddly and sweet as she was this weekend, and it made my Cuddles jealous. He is still my numba one, but she’s higher up than she was before.

On Thanksgiving I met a Brazilian dude who was severely unattractive – big, burly, fat, with small eyes and pale skin, but I found myself totally attracted to his personality. Yes, while I was with The AA. He’s the one who took all the Thanksgiving pictures, so we’d exchanged contact information so he could send me the pics. Now I kinda have another agenda with him. I sent him an email this weekend suggesting we get together so he can help me practice my Portuguese. He seemed excited by the idea and suggested next weekend over lunch or dinner.

What is my agenda? Good writing material? I dunno, man.

He called, but my phone has been on silent all weekend to avoid hearing it. It’s been good. I’d talked at length with Ex-Husband this morning and he told me to not talk to him, to tell him I need time.

The AA told me he misses me. That he hasn’t been able to study all weekend because he’s been sad. That he thinks we’re both trying to protect ourselves. I told him I think it’s ridiculous. This was all via text. Then he called again. I didn’t answer again. He sent me another message asking me to please call. I told him that Ex-Husband said I shouldn’t. He asked what Barista thinks. Barista thinks she misses you. Barista needs a hug.

I finally called. We awkwardly talked about our weekends. He asked about the pups. He felt my sadness, I felt his. “I was going to come over today,” he said and I pretended I didn’t hear him, told Moxie to leave Cuddles alone.

The pups…wow, they know I’m a mess. They have both been so sweet this weekend. So quiet. Just lying by me, comforting me, trying to make me feel ok again. Amazing how perceptive they are. Amazing how unconditional they are. Yes, they’re dogs, but they seem to know.

Talking to him may have been weird, but it was nice, too. I wonder how it will be once his exams are over, his sister is gone to Kenya for the holiday and he is alone. I bet he’ll be all about me, Cuddles and Moxie. And how will I say no when he makes me smile the way he does, when we miss each other so much. How will I ignore him? Answer is – I won’t.

I know I shouldn’t entertain this. I know I should continue with the cutting off as I do so well. He called me again. “I just wanted to say good night,” he said. We talked for 20 minutes. He thanked me for letting him hear my voice again, said he wondered if I’d ever speak to him again and it felt good to be talking to me.

We haven’t talked about anything. Nothing has been discussed aside from the acknowledgment of missing each other via text this afternoon. There is probably not much to say, I suppose. It’s all been said. And now we just miss each other….and I want to see him yet I think it will be way harder than not seeing him.

Oh how my head spins. I’m so confused.

big ones.

happy ones.

real ones.

ones I want to come back to me.

Thanksgiving

I was numb all day Saturday. I didn’t cry, I didn’t hurt, I didn’t call him as he requested in his text. Instead I watched TV, slept, watched more TV, slept more, cuddled with the babies, slept more. It was wonderful. Exactly what I needed.

I no longer feel the need to be sad. Maybe it’s because I heard from him. Maybe it’s because I cried it all out. I’m not sure, I just know that I do not feel sad anymore. I don’t feel happy, per se, but I don’t feel sad.

I think it could actually be a direct result of purchasing some xmas lights for my balcony. They’re beautiful. Just a simple strand wrapped around the top, but looking at them last night actually made me smile. “You light up when you talk about xmas,” The AA told me Thursday as we drove to Kroger to get brown sugar for my ham. “I love the way such simple little things make you so happy.”

I haven’t spoken to him since Thursday night. And while I know I shouldn’t I want to call him. I want to hear his voice. I miss him already. This is the longest we’ve gone without talking in the 3 months since it all started. I almost feel bad cutting him off like this, completely ignoring him as I am. It’s made it easier for me these past couple days, but in a way I don’t think I’m being fair. The AA is a good guy. He’s not malicious. He’s not The Ruiner. He’s not manipulative or dishonest.

And now I’m playing the conversation back in my head. He didn’t say he wanted to stop what we’re doing, just that he couldn’t commit to a relationship. “Let’s continue getting to know each other, build our friendship. I’m not at a place to provide for a relationship.” Isn’t that what we’ve been doing for the past couple months? Is it really anything different just because I heard the words? Or is it that he’s not ready to make a commitment? Is that really so bad just 3 months in? Am I over reacting? Did anything really change other than my attitude toward everything?

I wonder what Alex would say about it. I haven’t talked to Will either. I’m afraid he’d blow it off and tell me I let another man upset me too much. I guess I haven’t really talked to anyone except Allison. I’ve written a lot. I’ve had a lot to drink. I’ve internalized. I’ve let it out. I’ve considered calling Mr. Delicious for a cheap night of great sex. We texted (I hate that word, bt-dubs), but that’s all. Tonight he will come pick up his cupcake order and I may just do something I’ll regret later. I may.

Cuddles knows I’m sad. Oh wait, I’m not sad, right? But he is picking up on my mood, sitting on my lap, biting Moxie when she gets annoying and I tell her to stop. He’s protecting his Mama. I don’t have nothing…I have Cuddles.

And I miss him. And I know he misses me, too.

A very good friend of mine suggested to dine out around the Deccan area and we somehow agreed for Foodlink (you would better know it as Level 9’s neighbour). We have been there before and were not very satisfied and it repeated today again. The Italian section provides a good open air ambience especially when the aura is a bit chilly. The subtle breeze that sweeps across your face refreshes you and wipes out depression shown very clearly from the limited menu; worst when most of the items are not available. We could hear no music today. I don’t know if they sold-off their BOSE. Good if they did as the music played last time was an insult to the finest piece in acoustics. The artificial candle is too lame to bring in the effect of the candle light, the warmth was missing and the romance too. The only interesting thing about the beverage menu is some poetry and one liners on various drinks which are worth a read. They have a pretty good range of whiskey from Royal Stag to Blue Label but they lack in their collection of cocktails. The prices are as elevated as the location of the resto, making it an “over priced-not worth it” category place. The hospitality is commendable and nothing else. The view of the city with the E-square and the Kakade Mall catching your attention is indeed a delight for the eyes and better if it is captured on a high zoom camera. It was a chilly night and a coffee would bring the mind and soul together. Now, search for a coffee bar is on. If you want a good hot coffee, never stop by a CCD. They suck! The options were Finale on the Law college road and the Barista on the FC road. Sadly, the Pune Coffee Shop lost its existence somehow and Finale is en-route. So, Barista it is. The FC road Barista is one of my favourite places for a coffee, anytime of the day. The location has a good crowd, the feel of the FC road, always packed with people, full of expressions and colours. As they say, “Stop drooling and place your order”. My drink at this time of the day is a Café Twist and a Hazel-nut cappuccino for my friend. And what else do you need when you have a perfect partner for conversations. Also a smoke or two gives a good company and adds to the refreshing frequency of the brain. Midnight it is, time for her to sleep and thank you for keeping us awake! The mood was so well crafted by those conversations that we decided to move on to some other buzzing place and continue it. Suddenly it strikes – CAD-B! Whoa! 12 AM and it looks as good as a college canteen! It did remind me of the All Night Canteen in my college when we used to have our supper and maggi was the universal choice. But here, the order is a usual one, CAD-B half shared by both of us. And as expected in such a place, my friend who has spent her full college life in this city, meets her old mates. One among them shared a similar interest as mine – photography. A good talk it was and a good commercial break! Back to the conversations initiated by the hot coffee and now being warmed down by the cold CAD-B. 0030 hours and yes its time to go back and have a tight sleep to get up for jogging early next morning (as part of the preparations for the Pune Marathon). Had a nice time. Good night! Chao!

Click here to view video

FACT: Fifty per cent of the American population, approximently150 million people, drink some type of coffee.

“When you come into The Ugly Mug cafe you leave all your worries behind…” – Chi Nguyen, barista.

The door opens and a bell chimes to signal the customers arrival. The sound of steaming milk and chatter fills the small cafe on NE 43rd St. Tables and chairs are decorated with postcards and paintings line the walls above comfy couches, a style that has been described by customers to be “like your grandparents living room.”

The Ugly Mug is not a large chain cafe like the one’s that dominate the main shopping strips. It’s a quaint, family owned business in the University District around the corner from the University of Washington. It has gained a following of loyal customers who like its welcoming and laid back atmosphere – and the fine art of the latte.

Chi Nguyen has worked at The Ugly Mug for over a year and recommends the “amazing” sandwiches which contain secret ingredients – only a select few are allowed to make them. In addition to the special sandwiches they have a large range of over 50 coffees and teas available. Nguyen insists that they “can make anything you want!”

The cafe is housed in a 1920’s building which immediately gives it an old world feel, distinctly different from modern establishments. All the paintings were painted by the owners and their friends, giving a bit of themselves over to the customer, something they hope to be reciprocated. They give out postcards to each customer in the hope that they can fill their cafe with stories.

By Daniela Rossi

I’ve been waiting to get home so I could fall apart. Totally and completely. And stupid Old Uncle Marvin had to go and drag his feet finishing the work we had to do for our regulatory audit, so I ended up having to stay an hour late. Today. Really!? I wanted to kick him in the face.

My head has throbbed all day, obviously the cry just needs to come out so I can be done and over it. I hate crying. I hate the puffy eyes and lip, the ugly face I get after the tears come down. And that’s why I don’t cry. I can’t do it gracefully. I can’t.

And as I write….well, here they come. The tears, I mean. The text from The Canadian telling me it’s ok to be sad.

My head throbs. My heart hurts. The lump in my throat won’t go away.

The wine is helping, though. Taking some of the pain from my head and turning it into tears. I can’t believe I didn’t hear from him all day today despite being glad I didn’t hear from him today.

And Allison put it into a great perspective for me at lunch today as I struggled to keep the water from falling from my eyes….”He was kissing you to make himself feel better,” she said. “And you let him. You made him feel better in hopes that it meant something, but it only meant something to you.” And it hurt. But it was true.

He’s not sitting on his balcony with a glass of wine trying to numb the pain. He’s not worried. He’s not there.

I’m there.

And I don’t want to ever be there again. Ever.

I hear Alex in my head, have heard him all day. “My only worry is if you’re not chosen.” And at the time I was so sure. So, so sure. Why else would he introduce me to his mom, his sister. Why else would he want to meet my best friend? Why else would he hold my hand the way he did in the Starbucks parking lot while we talked about things? Why would he invite me to spend Thanksgiving with them?

My heart. It hurts.

My head. It throbs.

My faith. It’s broken.

My pups will comfort me, right?

I can’t do this again. I can’t.

I don’t want to ever be vulnerable to anyone again. Ever.

Cupcakes.

The pups.

The few friends I have.

Should I have known? Did I miss a sign? Why am I never good enough for anyone good?

Can I sleep it off?

Fall tears, fall. Get to the “fuck him” place faster, please get me there.

The mascara is gone now. The sobbing commenced. The typing on my blackberry more difficult through clouded eyes. The pain. The pain.

I feel so alone.

Please, Neighbor. Keep revving your engine. Keep drowning out my sobs. Keep letting me pretend I’m strong and ok and no man can hurt me like this.

Please. Why am I never chosen. What’s wrong with me. What’s so wrong with me.

How was I so wrong.

I feel like I want to throw up.

It’s never ok to cry at work, I tell myself as I fight back the tears that want so badly to come.

I can’t wait to get to my bed so I can stain my pillowcase with mascara.

Yes, I do have a reason to be sad. No, I’m not jumping off a bridge.

He has been deleted from my blackberry messenger. Passive-aggressive much?

My last words to him “This situation is just weird. I don’t do weird well.”

His last words to me “Good night.”

My head hurts. The anxiety is overwhelming. How can I keep myself from asking why? How can I not swear off meeting someone…umm EVER AGAIN.

Wasn’t this one different? How could I have been so wrong? Again?

I want to throw up.

How could he be so careless? With my heart!

How could he be so careless?

Why haven’t I heard from him today? Why do I still want to?

This is a brief post on the art of living. A friend and former co-worker from Calgary recently decided to bid a ‘fare-thee-well’ to his desk job doing receipt processing for a chance at become a professional coffee-man. Timothy has a fine palate for good food, drink, and photographs. He is the kind of person who can act with courage when that is required, will take time to listen, and who understands the value of a long apprenticeship for the things that matter.

He has thrown his lot in with Phil and Sebastian, a Calgary coffee company that specializes in being the best place for great coffee. In addition to their Calgary Farmer’s Market location, they are opening a new cafe in Marda Loop and Timothy gets to be part of this growth.

Working is important, even if we aren’t working at our dream job, but when there’s a chance to align our dreams with our work, some really great things can happen (along with some very long hours and steep learning curves). Timothy has taken a risk and stepped into something he loves. I’m sure he gets his share of people who wonder what kind of career choice “professional barista” might be. For my part, I applaud it and say that it is a very fine move in the art of living.

For a sample of other baristas who take their work very seriously, take a look at this video. It may give you a greater sense of the value of what we have an opportunity to drink.

View barista competition video.

Here in the Cardus office, we continue to work out our coffee skills using the fine beans of Red Hill Coffee Trade, a local roaster here in Hamilton. Their video shows the process of roasting beans. Time to go brew another pot.

View Red Hill Coffee roasting video.

I’m devastated really. Confused. Hurt. And really, really confused.

I think he is, too.

We sat down to talk and he told me he just didn’t see a relationship right now. Timing. He’s not at a place to provide for it.

I cried. And then he kissed me. Laid down next to me in my bed and kissed me long and hard. Until I wasn’t crying anymore.

We woke up together. My head pounding. His body pressed up against me. He kissed me again. Held me close to him. Tried to get Cuddles to lick his face. I turned away from him. Wanted to cry again. I didn’t.

He stayed all morning. Walked the pups with me. Sat on the stool in the kitchen as I made him breakfast. Hugged me. Held me close to him.

And kissed me passionately before leaving. Long. Hard. Filled with desire.

Should we just make this a sexual thing then? I asked the question. He pulled me to him again. Kissed my forehead. No, that’s not what I want. I don’t want you to think that’s what I want, Barista.

Can you please leave now?

I considered staying home Thanksgiving day. Forget ham and turkey and spending the day with the man who’d rejected me but couldn’t stop kissing me or staring into my eyes, telling me how much he loves my smile.

So I went. Cooked. Socialized. Felt the picture snap right as he was about to kiss my cheek. My smile huge. The hope in my heart enough to make it real. The wine in me enough to numb the fear momentarily. The good food, the good people, the man I was crazy about.

Disconnection kicked in. We loaded my car. I shouldn’t have driven. I had no business driving. I was scared, but careful. It felt like the longest drive after.

Can I have a goodnight kiss?

No.

What’s wrong, Barista?

I have to go.

I didn’t look in his eyes. I was feeling the hurt eating at me. I couldn’t look in his eyes. I couldn’t cry again.

Please call me when you get home. Please, let’s talk about this when you get home.

Ok. It was a lie. I didn’t want to talk to him. I was done talking.

Bye. I drove off. I hate you.

Bye.

I’m home. Thanks for today, it was great.

Phone rings.

Barista, what happened? What’s wrong?

You’re stupid. And confusing and this isn’t fair. I hate you.

I wish I’d said that. Instead I lied. I was in bed, too tired to talk.

I have to go. I’m going to bed now. Click.

Don’t call me again. Leave me alone. We’re not going to be friends. We’re not going to do anything. I don’t want to come over. No, you can’t visit the pups.

Deuces.

Just friends.

Doesn’t feel like he’s in a place to provide for a relationship.

Tears.

Not good enough.

I hurt.

Danke für das positive Feedback. Meine Woche in der Schweiz, und zwar genauer gesagt in Bern und Umgebung, brachte mir nicht nur bildungstechnisch eine ganze Menge, sondern ich durfte auch ein bisschen vom Land selbst sehen.
Die Fortbildung war sehr ausgiebig und umfangreich, viel Neues gab es zu erfahren, das ich jetzt mit in meine Seminare und Workshops integriere.
Ausserdem darf ich mich seit letzter Woche zu den autorisierten SCAE-Ausbildern zählen, wovon es europaweit nur 90 gibt. So kann ich jetzt auch mehr Seminare für Profis anbieten. Aber dazu gibt es im Januar mehr, denn dann ist meine neue Website fertig, die ich gestern in Auftrag gegeben habe. Für den Auftrag konnte ich zwei sehr kreative Jungs gewinnen, die meine jetzige Site komplett überarbeiten. Mit Ihrer Präsentation konnten Sie mich sofort überzeugen, und auch beim Marketing unterstützen Sie mich. Ich freu mich schon auf die langfristige Zusammenarbeit mit den beiden. Wer mehr wissen möchte, sie haben hier auch einen eigenen Blog: http://menze-koch.blog.de/

In meiner Freizeit konnte ich mich öfter in der schönen Berner Altstadt umsehen und verschiedene Schweizer Spezialitäten ausprobieren. Besonders empfehlenswert: Das Kornhaus. Fantastisches Restaurant mit gemütlichen Flair und einem edlen Ambiente. Die Speisen: hervorragend!

Alle Originalbilder unter: www.kornhaus.org

Ausserdem hatte ich die Möglichkeit, Thun zu besuchen, eine wirklich schöne Stadt an der Aare. Der See, eingebettet in eine unglaubliche Berglandschaft, ist für mich einer der schönsten Seen, die ich kenne: Glasklares Wasser, Ausflugsschiffe (sogar Schaufelrad-Dampfer) – umgeben von wilden Bergmassiven. Natur pur. Auf jeden Fall werde ich dort noch einmal Urlaub machen, denn das Berner Oberland hat so viel mehr zu bieten. Mein Besuch in Kandersteg bedarf auch einer Wiederholung, viel zu wenig konnte ich mir dort anschauen. Bevor ich mich verabschiede, noch einige neue Nachrichten aus der Kaffeelounge der Berliner Privat Rösterei: Morgen treffen die Weihnachtsbäume ein, alles wird für die kommenden Festtage vorbereitet. An den Advents-Sonntagen ist übrigens von 11 – 15 Uhr geöffnet, denn dann kann man dort ein verlängertes Advents-Frühstück geniessen:
Röstfrischer Kaffee, Wurst, Käse, Brötchen, Rührei, Konfitüre usw. – alles was das Herz begehrt.
Für 10 Euro pro Person. Vielleicht sehen wir uns ja dort und trinken zusammen einen Kaffee Hawaii Kona – der ist nämlich auch grad neu eingetroffen. Kaffee, wie Sie noch nicht kennen. Mehr leckere Kaffees auf www.berlinerprivatroesterei.de

Einen schönen und besinnlichen 1. Advent wünscht

Ihre Ilona Schmidt

I’ve said it before and I will say it again – as much as I looove baking cupcakes it totally stresses me out. When they’re for an order, I mean. I’m so concerned with making sure they are perfect and I get nervous that someone will rear-end me or something when I have them in the car.

So having all of my Thanksgiving orders done and delivered has me feeling mighty good right now. Mighty good. The stress is over for this week. Now I get to look forward to a wonderful relaxing night with my boy. Ahhh. I need this!

Today while getting my daily sbux fix my favorite barista invited me to an AA meeting. And here AA does not equal African Accountant….but hell, that would be one meeting I’d attend fo sho! So yeah, she invited me to go to a meeting with her…..and I think I probably will. Not that I think I’m an alcoholic, but I have been drinking on the reg, have struggled with addiction in the past and think maybe it will be good for me. Alex will love it – I’m sure of this. He used to waste at least 20% of our time trying to convince me to go to group therapy….to the point that it’s a joke with us now. I did go to an Overeaters Anon meeting once back when I was still 300 pounds and it was the most miserable experience of my life. I discovered my highly judgmental self that day and tried going back once just to see if maybe I could do it. Hated it both times. But maybe with the support of someone else it wouldn’t be so bad. We’ll see.

Just finished buying all my tgiving groceries and now headed home to clean before The AA comes over. Ahhhhh….can’t wait to cuddle up next to that beautiful man.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, peeps.

My horoscope this morning told me it’s ok to be late for work. Do you think they notified my boss of such?

I am so excited to see The AA tonight. And be sober the whole night I’m with him. Means I will likely remember things enough to properly write about them.

The first thing I’m going to do when I see him is press my body up against his. I miss how that feels and can’t wait to feel him sleeping next to me.

The Dog Walker and The Assistant didn’t come over last night. Seeing them and hearing the utter craziness that comes out of their mouths has become a highlight of my day. I’m sure they’ll be over tonight to meet The AA.

My dishwasher has been broken for almost 2 weeks. They supposedly ordered the part. I HATE washing dishes. Last night The AA told me he would do all my dishes tonight. I wish I could be so bold, but they’ll be done before he gets here.

I’m making a chocolate pecan pie for Thanksgiving. And a ham. Will style.

I’m kinda sad that I won’t be home for Thanksgiving. But only because I will miss fighting with my brother-in-law, The Canadian’s husband. This is the highlight of every trip home.

On my way to work I saw a woman throwing up out the door of her SUV. It was pure liquid. At 9am. She looked like a drunk. I don’t wanna be her.

I’m thankful for the email received just now that says we can leave 2 hours early today. Yay.

My boss brought the most amazing salad I’ve ever had in my life to our Thanksgiving luncheon. I’m going to try to recreate it tonight.

That’s all I got.

I love my dogs.

I love my dogs.

I love my dogs.

Well, right now I kinda hate them. Turn my back for 4 seconds and shit all goes to hell.

I was just looking at pictures of myself on facebook. Sure, there are a lot of them, but it wasn’t that long. When I turn around and look down Ms. Moxie has a whole brand new roll of toilet paper completely shredded throughout my dining room. In tiny ass pieces. I jump up to go snatch the roll and my foot lands in a pile of Moxie shit. Does anything smell worse than puppy poop? Ummm no.

I’d like to believe she got the toilet paper out to clean up after herself and just didn’t know what to do so she went to town.

Anybody want some dogs?

I have cut back on my ‘a.m.’ coffee run on the way to work. Recessionary times and all that… But today I noticed that Dublin’s best barista was back in ‘il Valentino’, a favourite stopping point of mine on the way to work. So I had pop in. I mean, it would haven rude not to. There is a sign up inside proclaiming that they serve the best blend of coffee in Dublin and have the best barista in town. Best blend, maybe. Best barista, definitely. This guy is gas. I get my usual large Americano to take away. And it is good, real good! Really strong, just as I like it.

I have noticed that when ladies order either a latte or a cappuccino, the barista creates a fancy love heart on the top of the froth. He then flirts outrageously with them. It’s so obvious and they love it. It makes their day. The ladies always seem to order milk based coffees here. I wonder why?? So next time, I will order a latte just to see what symbol he decides to create for me – if any. I assume it will be a love heart and he will follow up the obligatory outrageous flirting. As optimistic as ever.

“Hey Barista! How are you?” I turned around expecting to see the woman whose cupcake order was sitting on the table by my desk, but instead it was another woman who works in that same department.

“I’m great. How are you?”

“Good. Hey, I’m looking for some boxes for some pies I make. Where do you buy the boxes you use for the cupcakes?” I thought the question was odd because I’d never heard her say she bakes anything and she asks me about cupcakes semi-frequently. But I went on to tell her where I go and where else she could get some if she didn’t want to drive that far. “Ok, thank you. So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

“I’m going to spend it with the guy I’m dating and some of his friends.”

“Oh!” She had a big grin on her face. “That’s great! Oh yeah, that reminds me! I saw you at Target Saturday.”

“Oh yeah? I didn’t see you.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to bother you, but I saw you. Oh, and then I saw The AA. And I saw that you two were together.”

Oh crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. “Oh boy.” It came out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying. My face was bright red and I tried to come up with an excuse as to why I was at Target with a co-worker at 8 am on a Saturday morning in what could have looked like my pajamas. I stuttered but nothing came out.

“It’s ok, I don’t judge. And I won’t tell anyone.” Crap. Crap. Crap. I wasn’t ready for people to know. I mean he’s not even my boyfriend yet! When he is I won’t care, but he’s not yet!

What annoyed me most about this situation was I felt like that bitch trapped me. As soon as she left my desk I sent a text to The AA telling him what happened and asking if he knows her. He responded that he wouldn’t be surprised if he starts hearing things from people soon. Yeah, big mouth. I knew that bitch was a big mouth!

“Hey, we weren’t doing anything. Just some grocery shopping. People do that you know…even at 8 am on Saturday morning,” The AA said.

“Whatever, I don’t care. I don’t like people knowing my business, but I can’t control what other people do or say.”

But I can control what I say – and I say CRAP.

Last week Will told me he was cancelling Thanksgiving. I was so sad when he told me because I was looking forward to it, and also because I didn’t really want to spent the day alone making a huge ol’ feast for myself. I didn’t know what The AA had planned and with the craptastic week I had last week it never even dawned on me to ask him. I just sat in sadness. (Damn period – finally arrived, bt-dubs, so last week was certainly PMS showing his ugly face).

On Sunday while The AA and I were talking about our plans for Wednesday night I mentioned that Will had cancelled. He sounded excited when he told me that he and his sister had been talking about what they were going to do and she asked about me, but he told her I had plans with Will. “This is perfect!” He told me. “I’ll come there Wednesday night and then Thursday you come to my house and have Thanksgiving with us. We’re having some friends over.”

Could it have worked out better? Nope. His sister called me later to work out the details, so I’m on ham and dessert duty. Of course I’d be the dessert girl! Yay! She and I ended up talking for about 30 minutes and it was a nice conversation. His sister and their mom run a non-profit organization that helps women and children with health care in Kenya, and apparently my sweet AA didn’t know that I’m a bit of an activist or we’d have talked about this sooner. I told her I’d be happy to help in any way I can.

A little while later he called me and we talked at length about what happened on Friday. I told him about the anti-anxiety drug and how I had a theory this was a contributing factor. He asked if I worry a lot, and the truth is I don’t stress most things. But when the panic attacks kick in it usually has something to do with being afraid of being hurt again or lying about something or financial stuff. I didn’t tell him about the panic attacks much, just that I’d started feeling this anxiety in January and the drug helps. He told me he was glad I was trying to work through things and recognizing the problems. Then my phone died and I couldn’t call him back. While I was waiting for my phone to charge enough to call I fell asleep.

I walked right past the wine, even though it did try calling my name, in the grocery store tonight. By the time 6pm rolled around I’d already given myself all kinds of excuses to come home and have a glass…just one this time. Ha! So when I got to Kroger and walked past it I considered it, but wanted to get everything else I needed first. When it was time to stop to get that bottle of Pinot I successfully convinced myself that I could either keep thinking this was ok and spend another night drinking or pass by it and wake up without a headache…and so I kept walking and checked out. Once I was home I was fine and didn’t once consider going out to buy a bottle. It was just impulse control and I finally managed it.

Now I need to work on doing the same thing with the smokes. Damn them.

“Is she home?” I heard The Assistant yell as I stood on my balcony.

“Yup!” The Dog Walker yelled back. It was dark so they didn’t see me standing out there as they rode their bikes up to my building.

“Yup!” I yelled down to them as they dropped their bikes and ran up the stairs ringing my doorbell furiously. The pups went ape shit and I reached down to grab Cuddles’ collar so he wouldn’t escape when I opened the door.

The 2 girls ran inside as soon as the door opened and the chatter was non-stop. First thing out of The Assistant’s mouth was “So why didn’t your boyfriend come over the other night?” as she plopped down on my couch to wait for the answer.

“How were my babies today?” I asked them, changing the subject.

“Moxie peed in her cage!” The Assistant yelled.

“Yeah! You owe us $3 more for cleaning it up!” The Dog Walker was always trying to get more money out of me.

“What are you doing?”

“Baking cupcakes.”

“Oohhh can weeee help youuu?!” They screeched.

I put them to work putting the cupcake holders in the pans. “I’m watching what you’re doing so I can steal your recipe,” The Assistant told me.

“Oh are you? What do we have so far?” She recited 3 of the first 4 ingredients and I laughed.

“So why didn’t your boyfriend come over the other night?” The Assistant had her hands on her hips as she asked me this.

“First of all he’s not my boyfriend,” I told them for the 800th time.

“Your date then. Why didn’t he come over?” The Dog Walker said.

“He had something to do.”

“Like what?” The Assistant demanded and I laughed.

“He was hanging out with his sister.”

“His sister?? And you believed that!?”

They were killing me. “Yes, of course I believe him.”

“He’s cheating on you. What guy wants to hang out with his sister instead of his girlfriend!”

“Ok, time to put the cupcakes in the oven.” My attempts to change the subject were not super successful.

When I turned my back to wash my dishes I heard TDW whisper to The Assistant “Stop talking about it! You’re making her sad!”

“You think I’m sad?” I laughed yet again.

“Yes. I could tell you were sad when you said he wasn’t coming over,” TDW said.

“She told me on the bus this morning that you were sad.”

“I can tell when you’re sad, you know!”

“I’m not sad, girls.” I started mixing the next batch.

I’ve now come to the conclusion that my first book will be The World According to The Dog Walker.

The AA cracked up just as much as I did when I told him this story. He loves the TDW stories almost as much as I love having them to tell. These girls really are too funny. The Assistant was pretty quiet up until tonight when she had some serious opinions about what’s going on with The AA and now suddenly she just can’t shut up.

Of course they also both asked for a raise while they were here, but I expected nothing less.