So you’ve prepared everything in advance, as described in part 1, and you’ve tried my little blankie trick, part 2, to cradle his head for a smoother transfer…

You are now facing the crib.

This is the moment of truth, and as I have often faced it and failed, here are the final tricks that kept my little baby asleep.

Avoiding The Drop

Push your lower body against the side of the crib, then lean your entire upper body and lower your baby inside. The sensation of “dropping” out of your arms is a big culprit in waking him up, so keep your baby in your arms and against your chest for as long as you can before he gets to the mattress.

Keep your Arms in the Crib.

You made it, but don’t release your arms just yet! This is another crucial point and you will have to muster all your patience not to let go and peel out of his bedroom.

When you’ve laid him on the mattress, you will have one forearm under his head and your other hand over his legs and cradling his little bum. Stay in that position, leaning into the crib. I would count ten of his deep breaths before even thinking of letting him go.

First, wiggle out your arm from under his bum. Simply, pivot your hand under him until it’s out. Second, slide your newly-free hand under his head-blankie, to keep his head steady when you pull your forearm out from the other side.

Anytime he stirs, freeze. Leave your arms perfectly immobile. Try breathing softly close to him to reassures him of your continuing presence. Then count ten breaths again and resume your “extraction”.

The rest is just practice. If your baby wakes completely and cries, pick him up, cuddle him in your arms or in the rocking chair, or breastfeed him until he’s settled, and try again. At any time, if you and your baby have had enough, go back to co-sleeping and practice another night.

I know I must sound bonkers to describe every little step like this, but I’ve found that attention to every detail has brought me success. With time, I could be a lot more sloppy, because my baby got used to this routine.

In fact, one fine night, he decided to roll out of my arms and onto his tummy. My breath caught in my throat the first time, but he now falls straight to sleep with his bum in the air. So cute! At this point, I keep my hand on his upper back and again, reassure my presence until he’s off and dreaming.

1. You feel nauseous. A stomach ache is a sign that you are not getting enough sleep.
2. You have a buzzing headache.
3. You are especially crabby.
4. You cry easily and your morale is low.
5. Resentment sets in. This is not pretty. You are mad at your baby for not sleeping, but you hold it in. Then your husband asks what’s for supper and you rip his head off.
6. You’ve lost your patience. You are singing a heavy-metal version of Rock-a-Bye-Baby.
7. You are reading this blog post.

When things can’t get any worse, just remember you are not alone. Everything’s going to be alright. Here’s what can help:

1. Get someone to do ALL the housework and ALL the meals. Your husband should now be your manservant.
2. Limit visitors and outings. The world can wait. Mommy getting her sleep and regaining her sanity is the best gift for the baby.
3. Take efficient naps. Yeah, I’m sure you’ve heard it a million times: sleep when the baby sleeps. True, this helps, but try to control the length of your naps. If you go over 30 minutes, you’ll fall into a deep sleep and wake up all groggy and really pissed off that you can’t stay in bed. The ideal nap lengths are either 20-30 minutes or 1.5 hours long. It’s also best to nap earlier in the day. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” also means going to bed at 8pm, even if it’s still daylight.
4. Learn to co-sleep and breastfeed in bed. This will be easier when your baby is older (maybe around 3 months) and able to reach your breast while you’re still lying down. You may not be actually sleeping, but you’ll preserve your energy by remaining in bed.
5. Don’t panic if you can’t fall asleep. Just do something relaxing. Resting is the next best thing to sleeping. If you are stuck in bed with your baby, who won’t let you leave his side, have a book next to your pillow so you won’t go stir-crazy.
6. Take care of yourself. Eat well and regular meals. Drink plenty of water. Avoid caffeine. Give yourself positive affirmations (“I am a good Mommy. I am doing the best I can. Everything will be fine.”) And get out there! Take a walk or do some gentle activity that takes you out of the house (like yoga, with or without your baby).
7. If you feel you are at the end of your rope, put the baby in his crib. Tell him you’ll be right back and close the door. Call reinforcements so you can sleep for 1/2 hour. If no one can relieve you, just take a 5-minute break in another room. Don’t worry! Your baby will be fine. Take care of yourself first, and you’ll be a better mommy.

I think it occurred to me sometime within the first hour of arriving home from the hospital after the birth of my son. I don’t know if it was the shock of being sore, mostly unable to move, and all alone with his fragility after having nurses on call for days. Or, maybe it was being squirted with projectile, fluorescent yellow baby poo, or having changed his clothes four times in less than 45 minutes after the spewing of two pee-pee fountains, lo … Read More

via On Becoming Mommy

I’m sure I’m not alone with this problem. There are so many reasons to explain why a baby is having a bad night.

1. He’s HUNGRY. Depending on the baby’s age, this can range from ravenously hungry to just peckish/thirsty.
2. He’s teething. This can go on forever.
3. He’s nursing a cold and can’t breathe or has a fever.
4. He is reacting to the vaccines he had a week earlier.
5. He’s overtired, because a) you put him to sleep too late in the evening, or b) his nap schedule was out of whack for whatever reason.
6. He’s overstimulated, because your husband played chase with him all over the house just before bedtime.
7. His cuddle quota was not met in the daytime. For whatever reason, you did not have time to pay attention to him, give him kisses and hugs, or just hold him. (Dr. Sears would say the solution is to use a carrier.)
8. He’s uncomfortable because the room is too hot, or too cold, or who knows, maybe because his pajamas have an irritating tag.
9. He’s going through a developmental milestone and his brain is going on overdrive because he learned how to hold and use a fork at dinner.
10. He’s having nightmares. Poor little guy!

I’m sure I’m missing a ton of other possible reasons for night wakings, but are these reasons or just excuses?

There are nights when I’m unsure about the path I’m taking. Am I doing the right thing? I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know…

And then I think about my other mommy friends and their Sleep Stories, and doubt really starts to crumble my defenses. One offered their baby a drink of water. Lo and behold, the baby was disgusted and never woke up again in the middle of the night. Another couple decided to let their baby “cry it out”. He now sleeps 10 hours a night, uninterrupted, and is a very happy child.

Then I take a hold of myself. I would never compare my son with other babies. So I shouldn’t compare my decisions as a mother with others either. Their situations are unique and would not work for my baby. The baby who refused a drink of water and simply rolled over has a very easy-going personality. My son has a strong will. He would laugh in the face of sippy cup. My friends who resorted to let their baby “cry-it-out” were facing so many challenges (cracked nipples, low milk supply, parents returning to work and unable to handle the sleep deprivation). I can’t judge their decision, and I know they don’t judge me either.

So the reasons above are not excuses. They are valid. One has to respect the fact that our babies face a lot of challenges. They are capable of great things, but we shouldn’t pressure our babies because we’re feeling insecure as parents. It all works out in the end, right?

Hey, my little guy is still sleeping… I think it might be a good night after all.

Here’s what I figured out…

First, babies need a lot of sleep and you have to work around their schedule. That means you may not have time to go out shopping, visit friends, or whatnot. Just thank God you got the time to do one thing, like go for a walk in the park.

Second, if you skip a nap, you will pay for it later. More precisely, your baby will be paying for it. He will not be a cooperative baby if he’s overtired. And don’t believe that they’ll sleep better because they’re exhausted. Think about it. When you go to bed super late, don’t your muscles get twitchy, doesn’t your brain hurt, aren’t you a tad sensitive? Imagine your baby going through that. It’s going to be a nightmare to put him down and keep him asleep. Don’t skip naps!

Third, figure out your little one’s sleep cues. This is the best way to figuring out his personal schedule. Yawning means, hmmm I could sleep a few winks. Staring into space, please put me to sleep. Rubbing eyes, I’m so tired I’m about to have a fit and I’m getting crabby. Crying means you missed the boat. Don’t delay a nap. If you see them yawning a couple of times, swoop them up, it’s time to sleep. If you catch it on time, it should be very easy to put your baby to sleep.

Lastly, a typical schedule for naps varies widely and greatly depends on the baby’s age. On average, a baby under 4 months old should not be awake for more than 2 hours at a time. It could be two naps in the morning and two naps in the afternoon. As they grow older, the morning nap may consolidate into one, with still two naps in the afternoon. Then, playtime starts lasting longer with a nap in the morning and one later in the day, until one day your baby only needs one nap a day.

Most sleep books only discuss bedtime issues, and explain very little about naps, except for The 90-minute Baby Sleep Program. So useful and easy! Don’t worry. This book will not force your baby into an arbitrary schedule. It helped me understand when my baby is tired and discover his ever-changing sleep pattern. Check out my short book review here.

Good naps mean good nights!

Breastfeeding was a challenge, my baby got jaundice, the back-splash poop was staining everything, but mostly I was exhausted. My little baby just wouldn’t sleep in the crib, wouldn’t sleep in the side-car, wouldn’t sleep in bed next to me, wouldn’t sleep anywhere except in my arms.

So on the second night at home, my husband and I took turns every 3 hours holding him. Now that I think about it, 3 hours is a lovely chunk of sleep after a year of waking every hour or two on most nights.  But back then, 3 hours would go by in a wink.

On the third night, I devised a way to hold my baby and learn to co-sleep.

After breastfeeding him, he would just pass out. He wouldn’t stir unless I moved him out of my arms. So my husband would prop my legs up on the couch and I slept sitting up with my baby on my chest.

The next night, I arranged my bed with several pillows and leaned back with my baby cradled in my arms.

And after a couple of nights of baby steps, every time testing a minuscule change, I managed to lie all the way down and get my baby to sleep next to me.  With him in my arms and high up on my lap, I would scoot in bed and slowly lean back, while at the same time shifting my baby to my side and laying him down next to my body. Then, only after I was assured he wouldn’t wake up, I would scoot slightly over to give him enough space, but still kept my arm under his head.

For a long time, I could not reclaim my arm from under him. With time, and more baby steps, I was able to move him down my arm further and further, from my armpit to my forearm.

One night, after breastfeeding him in bed, my arm went numb because of the weight of his head. He was growing up fast and his head was getting heavier. I said, enough! And slowly slipped my arm, while holding his head with my other hand so he wouldn’t plop suddenly on the mattress. And presto! He stayed asleep.

From that point on, I would use a folded receiving blanket under his head while breastfeeding so I could easily transfer him off my arm and on my bed. Then I could lie next to him and sleep at last! (For more details on this trick, read my past post here.)

Now, my little guy sleeps in his crib. It took several months of baby steps to progress to a little sleep independence. Of course, if he’s sick we snuggle together again and I must confess, I do miss it terribly. Here’s the cutest little video that epitomizes the mommy-baby snuggle at its best:

Chances are your baby is a newborn, used to sleeping around the clock in your womb. But now this is a brand new world, with sunrises and sunsets.

It may take a while to help your baby adjust his circadian rhythm… in other words, learn to sleep at night and stay awake during the day.

But a little bit of time to get used to a new way of sleeping, and establishing good habits, I think are the only factors. First, when baby wakes up in the morning, open the blinds, say “Good morning!” as cheerfully as possible (even though you hardly slept all night) and keep active until nap time.

Then, in the evening, make everything mellow. Dim the lights, talk softly, and turn off the television. (See more ideas here and here for a wind-down routine.)

In a few days, your newborn will get in the swing of things!

I bring this up because my friend was wondering why her baby was able to sleep soundly for 4 hours at the beginning of the night, but would wake up every 2 hours after that.

Quite simply, the beginning of the night is when you get the most restful and deepest sleep (there is a greater amount of deep sleep, called N3, earlier in the sleep cycle). We all wake up several times a night, but during this stage it’s much easier for a baby to “konk” out and keep sleeping.

However, for the rest of the night, a baby sleeps very lightly. Falling back asleep on their own becomes increasingly difficult when their sleep shifts into light, REM sleep.

And that’s why they wake up so easily at the crack of dawn. Or sometimes, pre-dawn. I found my baby would wake up at 5am if he was over-tired and went to bed too late. You’d think he would want to sleep in! In these cases, I think his body and brain were “irritated” that they didn’t get enough of that deep sleep early in the night.

That’s why it’s important to tuck them in early. They get the best quality, most restorative sleep early in the night.

Personally, I found the bedtime sweet spot to be between 7:30pm and 8pm. Anytime later makes getting to sleep and staying asleep much more challenging.

(Sure I know a baby who sleeps from midnight to noon, but there are exceptions for everything. In such cases, usually very young babies, they need to adjust their circadian rhythm… in other words, learn to sleep at night and stay awake during the day. See here for more info.)

Take heart! In my experience, as the baby gets older, you get longer stretches at the beginning of the night.

Nuts to that. No matter how tired I am, I make sure I’ve at least gone for a walk.

After splashing your face with cool water, “getting out there” is the best antidote to becoming a zombie.

Do a couple of sun salutes, then strap your baby in your carrier and try any of these easy suggestions:

• Go to a baby-mama coffee shop. Ask for DECAF.
• Go to the local library. Seeing your baby’s reaction to that many books in one place is priceless.
• Organize a playdate at your house. Misery loves company, as long as the company couldn’t care less that your place is a mess.
• Go to your backyard, or the park. Lie on a blanket and blow some bubbles. Seeing your baby fall over in a fit of giggles will re-energize you.
• Try out a playgroup, like the Mother Goose Rhyme Time.
• Or just walk around the block. Breathe in some fresh air.

A new mother’s biggest enemy is the isolation.

Go out and have fun!!

Well, I knew from the very first day that my little boy would not bend easily. He even fought with the hospital nurses! He would arch his neck backwards whenever they tried to push his head towards me to nurse. Pretty stubborn for a day-old baby. He had to nurse on his own terms, not be pushed around. And the sooner I accepted that, the easier it got.

So what would be the point of pushing a sleep-training method on a kid who will fight me all the way? Chances are it would fail. Worse than that, I think if I really forced him, it would break his spirit.  That would just break my heart. If I had a baby who would accept change easily, of course I would persevere. However, I have an energetic and social baby. Getting him to sleep on his own would involve a lot more than “showing him who’s the boss”, a philosophy that the worst sleep books teach new parents.

Instead of forcing, I’m just asking him to meet me half-way. “You like to breastfeed to sleep. Fine. But I’m not a pacifier and you can’t wreck my nipples by suckling instead of nursing.” “You want to be held to sleep. OK. But I’m not going to break my lower back by carrying you around all night. We’re using the rocking chair until  you are sleepy enough for the crib.”

And the mother’s personality factors in too. Are you a laid-back hippie-mom? Or do you feel more secure by set schedules? I’m sure most of us are somewhere in the vast spectrum in between. Once you figure out where you stand, and enjoy your baby’s amazing qualities, as the parent, we get to discover how to make a true connection with our child and how to construct our days (and nights) to suit both personalities.

In the morning, he stumbled about his toys. My mellow baby had become Mr. Cranky-Pants. It was one thing if I lost sleep, but now I could see that he was suffering from sleep-deprivation and that was unacceptable.

I asked the Angels of Baby Sleep to give me a sign.

Right then, clicking through television land, I came across this movie, The Miracle Worker… the famous fight scene with Helen Keller, at that time a spoiled child who would eat off everyone’s plate, instead of sitting down to eat her own meal.

And I had an epiphany. I realized that sometimes being a good mom means I will have to do something that my baby doesn’t like. In this case, I had to help him fall asleep in the crib, even if he hated the idea. He just didn’t have an inkling of how much more sleep he would get, and I had to show him that this was the best way.

That night, I breastfed him until his eyelids got droopy. He was sleepy, but not asleep. I scooped him up, and lovingly put him down in his crib. And he would have none of it. He sprung up and protested loudly. I didn’t pick him up, but I leaned down, held him in my arms and said, “Sweetie, it’s time to go to sleep. Love you.” Then I lay him down and left the room for one minute.

I got myself a box of tissues in the living room, held my husband’s hand, and cried. Then when the minute elapsed, I dried my face, went back in and did the same thing. Without picking him up, I shushed him while patting his back, and lay him down.

Basically, I was following The Baby Whisperer’s method: don’t pick him up, but continue laying him down every time he sits or stands up in his crib, shush and pat his back so he knows you are still there. I decided to add incrementally longer breaks, so my baby would get the message that I would come back, but that his crying was not making me come back faster. At the most, I left him for 5 minutes. I don’t think I could do more than that.

In the end, after laying him down for the 100th time, he fell asleep with my hand on his back.

The next night, he immediately fell asleep in his crib with my hand on his back. I was so proud of him! Since then, there have been good nights and bad nights. He no longer wants to sleep in my bed (just play), and prefers his crib for naps and nighttime.

Being the mean mommy for one night was the toughest thing I had to do, but it taught my baby the skills he needed for a good night’s rest.

First, it would prevent him from sweating all over me, especially in the summer. Without the blanket, I’d get an imprint of his ear on my arm and his skin would stick like velcro. Not a good thing if you’re trying to gently transfer him into the crib or next to you in bed.

Second, as I would scoop him up and place him in his bed, I could easily slip my other hand under his head to release my forearm without tugging at his hair or folding up his ear.

Third, his cheek would have the warm blankie to lay on, and he wouldn’t get jolted awake by a cool bed sheet.

Voila!

How do you smoothly transfer your baby from your arms into her crib? Here are a few tips:

• Think ahead. Before breastfeeding or rocking your baby to sleep, make sure everything is ready in his crib, blankets out of the way, lights out, etc…
• When you unlatch your baby from your breast, wait a moment before getting up. Easy does it!
• It helps if your baby falls asleep close to his crib. Every step on your creaky floors risks waking him up!
• If it’s winter, ask your husband to warm up the crib with a hot-water bottle. Otherwise, your baby will wake up the moment he hits the cool bed sheet.
• Get a crib that is right for your height. You won’t manage to keep him asleep if you have to hop him over the crib, and then roll him out of your arms. I got the IKEA crib (Gulliver) and it’s so easy to plunk him down in it.
• Keep an old shirt close to his crib. Your mommy smell will keep him happy. This isn’t a guarantee though… my baby got wise that it wasn’t me in there with him! But my friend said she got an extra half hour sleep in the mornings with this trick.

Sometimes, all the tricks in the world won’t persuade your little one to sleep in his crib. Don’t give up. You have to practice every chance you get. It’s normal that it takes time.

And my best trick of all… see my next post: The Transfer, part 2!

Think of your goal, and ask yourself what you hope to achieve. Do you just want your baby out of your bed? Or do you want to keep her next to you, but get her to stop nursing every hour? Carefully, determine the most important outcome for you.

Next, make a plan. Write down ideas and figure out step-by-step, to the smallest detail, how you will get there.

Make sure you have the support of your spouse. You don’t want to argue about methods in the middle of the night.

Lastly, have a plan B, in case your original plan spectacularly falls apart. The next morning, re-evaluate and give yourself time to adjust things to suit your baby and your parenting style. Feel free to return to your original bedtime ritual. It’s not a failure, it’s a learning experience.

And give your baby time. Any change is a big upheaval for them and may take a month to implement. Of course, you should trust your instincts if you feel that the plan is not worth following through. Just don’t flip-flop too often. Your baby needs consistency in order to adopt the new way of falling asleep.

When they start fussing, it’s very important to remain calm. The baby will sense this and calm down too… eventually.

Easier said than done, right? So when your baby is screaming at the top of his lungs, and you’re sure the neighbors are criticizing your parenting skills, remember these basic points:

• If your baby could talk, he’d tell you what’s wrong. But he can’t talk, so he cries. That’s all there is to it. His crying does not mean you’re a bad parent. He’s trying to communicate a need, and your job is to find out what’s wrong. Hungry, dirty diaper, tired, too hot, too cold, scared… or maybe he just wants to snuggle with you. Calmly figure out what’s wrong, then fix it.
• Show your baby that you sympathize. Talk to him. Tell him that you understand he’s unhappy and that you’ll figure out what’s wrong. Hearing your voice, and sensing your confidence, will calm him down.
• When you’ve figured out what’s wrong and your baby has stopped crying, give yourself a pat on the shoulder. And tell your baby how happy you are that everything is better. Happiness is contagious.

If you’re too nervous, or sleep-deprived, to tap into those instincts, just think about your baby’s character.  Is she sensitive? Is he very active?

Also, ask yourself about your baby’s situation. Has he been sick lately? Has she started daycare? Are you in the midst of a busy holiday schedule?

The answers as to when and what to do will come naturally.

And if the plan doesn’t seem to work, that’s OK. You will have learned some valuable lessons and you can adapt your strategy.

So create good habits that you will stick to in the long run. If you put baby to sleep while doing deep knee lunges, expect to do so every night. Wouldn’t that be insane?

My favorite ritual, and a lovely way to bond with baby, is the rocking chair and a lullaby. It’s a timeless classic. Another traditional way is to breastfeed them to sleep. Nothing wrong with that, though eventually you will have to replace it with another habit when your baby is weaned. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you don’t mind doing it every night. I don’t recommend bouncing them around in your arms. It’s just too stimulating for them and too tiring for parents. Only do this (and do it gently) when they are wailing inconsolably and you need to distract them. Once their crying comes down a notch, go back to breastfeeding or the rocking chair.

If breastfeeding doesn’t settle your baby down, get in the rocking chair. Perhaps at first, your baby will not quiet down easily. For some reason, they prefer for you to be standing and walking around. But give it a good week and be consistent. They will get used to it.

Remember to create quiet environment. Dim the lights. Hold your baby in your arms, with his head resting on your shoulder at the nape of your neck. Let him wiggle into his favorite position, and gently rock while singing the most boring lullaby you know. And repeat. It has to be like the droning of a mantra. This way, they concentrate on your voice and the gentle rocking movement, and they will be able to shut out the rest of the world.

That being said, you have to be able to bend a little bit. There will be nights when your method is not working. Your baby may be sick, teething, or just need more cuddle-time.

It’s not a win-or-lose situation. Your plan will work on some nights, and other times you will have to give in a little. After all, he’s just a little baby!

Babies can’t edit out noise or anything visually interesting. I would notice my baby slowly nodding off to sleep and then snap back when he’d hear a dog barking in the distance, or he’d look up at the shadows on the wall, or he’d get startled if my husband was clattering in the kitchen.

So it’s important to create a quiet environment. Think about how you tuck yourself to sleep. You draw the blinds, you close the lights, you get comfortable. Same thing for a baby. In fact, I make it part of the nighttime ritual.  I walk around the house dimming the lights and say “It’s time to close the lights… It’s time to close the blinds… It’s time to go to sleep.” Your baby will sense the pace is slowing down, even if he doesn’t understand the words.

A very young baby will sleep pretty much anywhere, anytime. But that’s because they’re easily exhausted and they don’t care what’s going on around them, as long as mommy is there. When they start getting a little older, their attention span grows and expands beyond mommy’s arms. It’s like their world gets a little bigger and much more interesting. And even when they’re really tired, almost anything will capture their attention.

Create a quiet environment so baby understands that it’s time to relax, quiet down, and close their eyes. It doesn’t have to be dead silence or pitch black. Just enough for them to notice a difference between daytime and nighttime.

Then you look down in your arms, where this darling teeny little face looks up at you, and you realize how much they need you.

Give them a break and be patient. What seems easy to us, is a brand new experience to them. Learning something new for a baby involves many steps and they are minuscule, microscopic even!

Of course, there’s always the one giant step of going cold-turkey, also known as crying-it-out. I don’t like this method at all. But I can’t blame parents who are at their wits end. Still, make it a last resort, when nothing else has worked, or if something urgent pushes you to use this sleep plan.

For breastfed babies, the steps of “sleep independence” include:

• Removing your nipple when they are not eating, just before they nod off to sleep in your arms.
• Transferring them from your arms into the crib.
• Doing the transfer when they are still awake, but sleepy with droopy eyes.
• Then going back to sleep on their own if they wake up, without breastfeeding.

Keep in mind the age of your baby. You might not be able to get them to sleep on their own right away if they still need to be breastfed throughout the night. It’s natural. They have very small stomachs and need to wake up often. But you can start off by getting them used to the nipple being removed from their mouth if they are not eating.

Basically, have a goal, make a plan, and break it down into the teeniest details. Then arm yourself with patience to gradually achieve every baby step.

This week I find myself in hyped up, hipped out Asheville, North Carolina to see the opera and while not penniless, I am going to be working with less than forty dollars. So here are some tips and tricks for that. (If you want to know how to travel with no money, see my previous blog “http://twiztedtails.wordpress.com/2010/09/21/hotel-cheats-from-waystation/ ”)

I should also note that my lodgings are being paid for by my current employer, or this would be impossible. I also got my tickets in advance when money was more freely available.

First off, Asheville is actually easier without a car. Parking downtown and in most of the outlying areas is hard to find, competitive and expensive. Parking garages run in the $2 an hour range, with some rare instances of $5 “special event parking”. Daily parking adds up quickly. Almost all street parking is parallel and tight. A Smartcar is doable but a Ford F350 or any mid to large SUV or truck is a real stretch.

If at all possible, I recommend leaving your car or rental in the hotel lot, or even better catching the airport shuttle, taxi, or some friend going into town.

Asheville actually has a very good public transportation system with buses going to most destinations either every fifteen minutes, every hour, or every half hour, or every hour. Payment is in cash – but make sure you have change – or by bus pass which can be purchased at the bus station on Richland Avenue.

And most of the city is actually in walking distance from most of the hotels (West Asheville being the exception unless you can do a three mile walk.)

Secondly, Asheville restaurants range fall into just a few categories – cheap and fast, cheap and slow, expensive and fast, expensive and slow, and bars. These are all pretty well distributed around the city but the cheap stuff is mostly on the two major strips, Tunnel Road off downtown east and Patton Avenue across the Patton avenue River Bridge on Patton Avenue in what is technically West Asheville.

I got a hotel in West Asheville as I have a car and a gas per diem on this trip (WOW!) and mainly frequent McDonald’s and Burger King because of their dollar menus. $5 bucks is four sandwichs which is two meals. Hotel water and ice are the beverages.

To keep that from getting too monotonous I also went to a dollar store and purchased a box of tea, a bottled water (for the bottle), and a few packets of instant drink mix. I also got a package of cookies, a bag of chips, a box of oatmeal, a box of grits, a box of six Ramen noodles, and a package of eight slim jims. Total cost: $10 after tax.

I use the coffee machine in my room to make hot water for the tea, grits, noodles, and oatmeal. I also hit the free continental breakfast and make a show of getting breakfast for me and “my fiancee” (I have one but he’s not present.) which fills in any remaining mealtime holes.

I packed one bag which contains two shirts, two pants, undies, and one set of formal wear as well as three books, two DVDs, and my laptop. I wash my clothes in the sink with the provided shampoo, wash my body and hair with the provided soap bar, and then hang my clothes off the shower rail to dry. I will steam the wrinkles out of my formal wear by hanging them in the bathroom while I shower.

Instead of going out and spending money I do not have, I watch TV, use the room’s free wifi connection, and watch the DVDs I brought on my laptop.

I will be required to dine out twice this opera week and so I will be sticking to very small meals, salad and water and not drinking any alcohol and then coming back to my room for noodles in private.

And I will go see La Boheme looking like I stayed the night in the Downtown Radisson hotel rather than a cheap room off I-40. Manners and clothing make the man in public after all.

I may even land a gig doing further write ups and then I will be able to review Asheville from the money end. Til then, good journeys and “toi, toi”!

the key to how i manage to make lunchboxes everyday..

i cook the rice for the week, and buy/keep food for the week on my holiday.

Then each morning, I only have to cook the food.

(this cuts the time greatly, I don’t have to wash or cut the meats or cook rice everyday)

Preparing THE MEAT

today, i bought some mini squids ($10 for 3)

each time i buy meat/non-veggie, i seperate them into one time portions and put them in the freezer (so they last better, and i don’t have to defrost everything at a time – defrosting and then freezing multiple times = bacterias)

for fresh items, make sure you clean them well before seperating into portions and freezing

seperate the top and bottom, pull out anything black..  the eyes.. the the black thing at the top of the legs… and the black thing in the middle of the legs…the soft bone thing in the top part..  (just touch around, should be easy to figure out)

peel off the skin too, and they go into my little plastic boxes

i have a whole lot of boxes in different sizes for this purpose

this is the lot of veggies i got today – $32 total

feels kind of expensive for just veggies… but this should last well over a week.

Preparing THE VEGGIEs

to keep veggie nice and moist, never put them in the fridge in their plastic bags…

wrap them in newspaper

i don’t really know why…. but this is the method my mom taught me

lastly, but most important

Preparing THE RICE

3 ‘cups’ of rice, serves me well for 5 meals.

seperate them into one time portion boxes, and put them all in the freezer.

each morning, defrost one, wait till its back to room temperature, (while cooking the food) then stuff in lunchbox

some people say microwaving food is very bad for health… but this is a very common practice in japan nowadays… – especially for people living alone who cooks.  its quite hard to cook rice for “one meal” when its just “one person”

if you go to daiso or places selling japanese plastic boxes… you will see they have a whole bunch of boxes for “refrigerating one time portion rice”.

so there it is… the preparing work…….

i will post back the recipe of my previous week’s bento on here as soon as i have the time….

enjoy.

A reader of mine once asked “What are the keys to consistency and power?” He told me that when he focused on consistency off the tee, he lost power. But when he concentrated on power, he lost consistency. He was after what many players consider the Holy Grail of golf: consistency AND power off the tee.

Combining these two things isn’t always easy. In fact, some golfers would probably say that they’re mutually exclusive. I might agree if I hadn’t seen players—either while I was playing or giving golf lessons—combine both at the same time. So what were their secrets?

I’ve distilled it down to some simple steps. Below are five keys to achieving consistency and power from the tee.

1. Eliminate tension on the tee

A common mistake on the tee is tightening up grip pressure and then trying to swing the club faster with the hands and forearms. Tightening your hands and forearms creates tension. Tension slows clubhead speed. Slow clubhead speed drains power from your swing. To hit a ball with consistency and power, you must swing freely and effortlessly. Eliminate as much tension from your hands and body as possible.

Thoughts causing tension and tightness include the following:

•    Thinking about swing mechanics
•    Confusing power and speed
•    Recalling a bad memory or experience
•    Not being sure about the shot
•    Hitting the big drive

Some suggestions for staying relaxed while hitting off the tee are taking deep breaths to relax your body and heart, making mini swings in slow motion before addressing the ball, and recalling the feeling of your most solid shot. Remember if your hands are relaxed your body will be relaxed, and vice versa.

2. Assume a proper grip

Major power loses result from a faulty grip. In particular is a grip in which the left-hand-thumb (for right-handers) is fully extended at the top of the grip. This fault causes a chain reaction of faults in other areas—a too-weak left-handed grip, a faulty wrist hinge, and a shaft that swings beyond parallel at the top of the swing.

The best way to practice the feel of a short thumb is with a rubber band. Point your index finger forward and pinch the gap between your thumb and index finger closed. Place the rubber band around the thumb and index finger, connecting them together. Now grip the club. Practice repeatedly. You will get used to the feeling and will take it with you to the golf course.

3. Maintain swing radius

Radius is the distance from your left shoulder (for right handers) to the end of the clubshaft. In other words, it is the distance from the center of your golf swing to the outer-edge. Your lead arm must be in line with or trailing your other arm at impact, known as “maintaining radius.” Maintaining radius enables you to strike the ball solidly and with power.

Many recreational players taking my golf lessons try to force the shaft of the club past the lead arm prior to impact. This effort causes the clubface to travel up not down, resulting in a fat or thin shot. In addition to limiting distance, a loss of radius causes a hook, slice, and wide assortment of other poor shots. You can maintain your radius by taking the club away low and slow using a one-piece takeaway.

4. Generate Leverage

One key to hitting longer, straighter drives is generating leverage. When swinging a baseball bat or throwing a ball, the natural tendency is to create leverage before you do either by using the ground. This adds power to the swing or throw. Unfortunately recreational golfers don’t always generate leverage when swinging a club, sapping power and cutting distances.

Your set up determines how powerfully you swing a club in a controlled manner. First, widen your stance for stability and power. The insteps of your feet should be in line with your shoulders. Second, turn your back foot in slightly (toward the target) to create a coiling post for your backswing and to support your torso rotation and weight transfer. Third, flare the front foot out (toward the target) also to facilitate downswing rotation.

5. Release the club properly

Players know they have to release the club correctly, but they’re not sure how or when to do it. Some of these players try all sorts of techniques but with no result. Trying these techniques sometimes creates havoc with your swing. Releasing the club properly is not a position you can just put yourself into at impact. It happens naturally as a result of your swing. You have to arrive at it as the result of a proper swing sequence.

Ideally, you want to square the clubface to the ball at impact by rotating your right forearm over the left (for right-handers). The result is a flat left wrist and a clubface square to the ball. After impact, your hands and arms should extend fully and your body rotates to the left as your club remains on the target line. If you wear a glove, your glove hand should be underneath your ungloved hand. This position is the result of proper swing sequence. You have to let it happen automatically.

These five keys—eliminate tension, assume the proper grip, maintain swing radius, generate leverage and releasing the club properly—will help you achieve both consistency and power off the tee. And consistency and power will help you produce lower scores, decreasing your golf handicap.

Jack Moorehouse is the author of the best-selling book How To Break 80 And Shoot Like The Pros. He is NOT a golf pro, rather a working man that has helped thousands of golfers from all seven continents lower their handicap immediately.

Article Source: http://www.bettergolfarticles.com

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Since me and my brother, Dan,  were both raised by survivalists, we are better off than many – we both keep what out blood father called “oh shit kits” stored in our rooms and cars. Candles, flashlights, batteries and essential foods and meds are all on hand. We have a wood stove and plenty of wood. Lots of blankets. Canned food and can opener. Cast iron for cooking on the wood stove. (A trick better not tried with thin bottomed aluminum pans!) Stuff for our cats.  The only tricky bit is water as our well pump is electric – something we intend to rectify soon. I am filling up lots of gallon jugs tonight. I usually try to keep twenty or so on hand…and if it snows all the better. We can wash dishes, clothes, and so on in snow melt. At worst, I will be typing this on Steve’s laptop – on battery power – and sending it by analog landline before reading a book by candle light, eating a stove top meal of canned stuff, and then sleeping in a bedroll near the fire. We’ll stay better off than many. Last time we ended up hosting our  neighbors because they had no ideas and no tools for coping. Hopefully they learned something from that adventure and will be better off this time. 

And at the very worst, I go out into the woods and shoot a deer and find some edible lichen…but that seems unlikely. The worst I expect to face this go round -knocking on wood – is some dangerous driving, mostly caused by my fellow NC driver, all of whom seem to mistake their SUVs for tanks. People here seem to go absolutely crazy here at the sight of a single flake.

And perhaps a shortage of bread and milk – which I neither eat nor drink but which some people seem to feel are absolute essentials during a storm. No idea why.

But perhaps this would be a good time and place to post some basics for the modern dweller. So I am adding a new page link from the home page here call “There’s a storm coming. I need…” Check it out for a quick list of useful things that will help you survive the storm.

Well from what I’ve observed recently…not so much with the good behavior.  It’s the little things like holding a door open for someone, giving up a seat on the bus or the subway for someone, saying “thank you” or “you’re welcome.  Recently I noticed over the last few weeks that folks just have forgotten these simple things and it makes me wonder why I continue to hold a door open, say thank you or you’re welcome but I believe (and I know a lot of you do to) that it’s just the right thing to do and if the person you are holding the door for, or giving up the seat for doesn’t acknowledge just say it for them and then they realize what they have done and will in turn hopefully pass the good manners on to someone else.

The other thing I have recently noticed since I have gone through Grand Central on a regular basis now is the shoe shine guy, yes I said the shoe shine guy.  I see folks sitting (and by folks I mean both men & women) enjoying one of the simple things in life, they sit with their paper, talk with the shoe shine person, talk with their neighbor and just smile.  No one seems to be on their iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, phone indulging in technology they just seem to be.

The holiday time no matter what you celebrate should be a time to relax, reflect and revisit…it could be by yourself, it could be with your friends, it could be with your family, it could be with strangers or it could be a combo of all.  Take this time to say thank you to all who have helped you through the year and even the folks who didn’t help since they might be the ones who need the extra attention.

Walk around with your head held high and a smile on your face and I bet, just bet you will get someone else to do the same…here’s to the close of a good 2010 and here’s to the start of an even better 2011.