If there’s one thing the Internet has revolutionised, it’s the urban legend. Time was when you’d have to work for your insane rumours. These days a good story can be invented, spread round the world and debunked by Snopes by lunchtime. How did we ever manage without it?

I was recently reminded of a London urban legend that predates the Internet – or at least, widespread use of it. It seems to have originated in the 1980s. I heard it as a schoolchild in the mid-’90s. I am speaking of the Chelsea Smilers.

The Smilers, so the story goes, were a gang of football hooligans. Depending which version of the story you hear, they would either roam the streets of South London, travel around in a blue Transit Van or – if you looked particularly easy to scare – would go door-to-door.

Details varied, but the basic essence of the story was this. The Smilers would confront you and ask you if you supported Chelsea Football Club (soccer team, for the benefit of any United Stateseans who may be reading). Possibly they would ask you a series of trivia questions to prove it. In the version I was told, they would then slice the corners of your mouth – upwards if you said yes, downwards if you said no. Then they would punch you hard, so you’d scream, thus ripping your mouth into a permanent smile or frown. Some versions would add that they would then pour something on the wound, usually vinegar, so the scars wouldn’t heal properly. I’m surprised no one suggested ink.

The Joker supports Chelsea.

There are a million variants on the story. Some say that they only cut you if you don’t support Chelsea, and then only in the form of the smile. Some say this was only practised by criminal gangs in Chelsea (presumably they march around in tailored suits, terrifying onlookers with their white-collar fraud and cold-blooded acts of insider trading). To be honest, while I don’t deny that such crimes may have happened – such scarring is known as the “Glasgow smile” and, so says the Daily Express, a case is treated every day by Scotland’s hospitals. But I’ve yet to see any real evidence that the Chelsea Smilers exist.

Still, I went to school in South-West London and it was a damn fine scary story. And that’s what’s important.

Myself and Lu are pretty massive Robert Pattinson fans. The beautiful man that is the star of the Twighlight films is fondly known in the Who’s Jack office as R.Patz aka the love of Lu’s life and aka fast becoming the love of mine. So when we found out he was in London yesterday imagine how excited we were… pretty excited I can tell you. We tried every trick in the book to get an invite to the Twighlight fan party which went on last night in Battersea but to no avail and sadly we went home R.Patzless. Sads.

And to make matters worse yesterday we brought the winning lottery ticket and came into work looking forward to seeing millions of pounds in our bank accounts just to find out the people over at the national lottery pulled out the wrong numbers e.g. ones that weren’t ours. So now we have to spend today trying to contact them to make sure they ammend they’re mistake. Drinks are on us when they do.

o

At the fireworks on Clapham Common

I went to 2 firework displays this year. The first was actually on Guy Fawkes night (5th November) and the second was on Saturday night. The first one was on Clapham Common and it was free for all. The fireworks definitely got better towards the end but let’s just say that they weren’t a patch on the ones in Battersea Park on Saturday night (which they charged £6 entry fee for). This year the theme was love – have a look at the heart below.

The smoking heart.

They were co-ordinated to music and were the best fireworks that I have ever seen and probably the most popular – the queue was so long.

Fireworks

They  only lasted about 20mins but were spectacular – afterwards everyone descended on the local pubs. We headed to the Lighthouse where they were doing a special bonfire menu including huge hamburgers and fish and chips.

And some more fireworks...

Best ever….

El 5 de noviembre se celebra todos los años la Bonfire Night, que conmemora el fracaso del atentado al palacio de Wesminster en 1605. Durante ese día hay hogueras y se tiran fuegos artificiales en prácticamente todos los parques de Londres.

Teniendo en cuenta que aquí son un poco rancios en cuanto a celebraciones y que los fuegos artificiales son bastante espectaculares, os podéis imaginar la cantidad de gente que sale a la calle esa noche. Es muy típico que los padres lleven a sus hijos, que los jóvenes lo vean bebiendo unas cervezas con los amigos y que los chavales gamberreen tirando petardos (bueno, gamberreando a la inglesa, ya se sabe, nada de reventar cabinas ni esas cosas tan  “typical Spanish”).

Para ir a verlo, tienen muy buena fama los fuegos de Clapham Common. Se puede entrar gratis al parque, que se llena de gente. Yo fui allí pero me los perdí por un retraso de 40 minutos del metro (así de bien funciona el metro de Londres).

Me quedé con las ganas, pero ayer fui con unos amigos a ver los de “Battersea Park“, esta vez pagando £6. Eso sí, fueron los más impresionantes que he visto hasta el momento. Cada año es un tema diferente, y este tocó “LOVE”. Durante 25 minutos vimos fuegos artificiales de mil tipos explotando al ritmo de The Killers, Amy Winehouse, Kaiser Chiefs y U2, entre otros. Sorprendente lo bien que estaban sincronizados con cada una de las canciones, aunque de todas formas el precio me sigue pareciendo una pasada.

Route 44 (56 minutes)

It’s just one bus today, but that at least is one more than has been possible lately. Blame the rota man at work, but this is my first outing for a while and I’m now behind the run-rate if I wish to finish by May 1 2012.

My return is on the 44, a double-decker from Tooting to Victoria, where I am then to navigate the officialdom and security of the passport office to apply for a new one. It’s expired you see and while I’m not going abroad any time soon, tedious solicitors want to see it prove I am who I am ahead of any proposed house move. Christ, that might be the dullest sentence I’ve ever typed.

That is not an invitation to find better examples.

Anyway, look, it’s not summer anymore. Gone are the halcyon days of summer 09, when I was in the first flush of exuberance, the days were long and warm and the Australians were getting a beating. Now, at 2.30pm, the sun is already sliding down, casting an odd, amber light upon the city, which throws up long, ominous shadows of its own.

Still, winter should bring some new sights, with perhaps even a nice sunset or two.

The 44 would normally be full of schoolkids at this time as it wanders through Earlsfield towards Wandsworth, but this is half-term so instead I have five terribly, terribly lovely university students for company around me, discussing raves and skiing and horses, all of which are apparently insane. There is talk about a ritual involving setting fire to childrens’ backs and I’m not sure if they are talking about they’re private lives or Harry Potter.

They leave somewhere near Battersea, to be replaced by the matriarch from Hell, who lumbers up the stairs with her five petrified kids.

She instructs the youngest – I estimate about five years old – to sit next to me and he looks up at me with sad, nervous eyes. I smile back but am suitably chastened by the mother who glares at me as though I should be on the register. The kids daren’t move and look straight ahead as they sit in silence, all the fun in the world sucked from their young lives.

Two girls, who are sat slightly further back, then start ‘chattin’ shit’. They appear to be talking to someone on the other end of the phone.

‘She’s chattin’ shit mate. She loves you,’ says Whiny.

‘I ain’t chattin’ shit. It’s over,’ replies Screechy.

“She is chattin’ shit’

‘I ain’t chattin’ shit’

‘You are so chattin’ shit it ain’t true’

‘Man, that’s shit. I ain’t chattin’ shit.’

This continues for some time. To paraphrase Malcolm Tucker, ‘they are so dense that light bends around them’.

My third set of neighbours join me just before crossing Chelsea Bridge. They are three kids for whom the world remains a wonderful adventure.

‘We’re higher than that traffic light’, says one.

‘Yeah, but do you think we’re higher than that building?’ replies her sister.

‘Just shut up for a minute will you,’ interjects the mother.

It’s true, they should make it easier to give birth but harder to conceive. Either that or insist on some sort of entrance exam for parents. Still, it’s been enlightening and we are soon in Victoria.

I hop off and head straight for the passport office. In a shocking turn of events I have filled out all of the forms correctly and have the correct documents in my possession. Even more surprising, the man behind the desk is both helpful and polite and my faith in humanity, shaken after the last hour or so, is dutifully restored.

A gentle re-introduction to the buses then; three more to come on Tuesday.

The walls were littered with framed photographs from her childhood.

John Ravera's In Town, Battersea Bridge Road, Battersea, Wandsworth, SW11

These faces were accompanied by braces, toothy smiles and drool, and neither of them looked like her at all.

John Ravera's In Town, Battersea Bridge Road, Battersea, Wandsworth, SW11

The photographs were faded in the sun and tinted blue.

In Clapham yesterday, I wandered further up towards Battersea Rise than I had been before. There are a number of little bars and shops to be explored at a later date. The sun has swung lower, shooting out from the side streets as I pass.

I picked up a British cookbook for my father and I’m really thrilled with it. The Hairy Bikers’ book looked great, but this caught my eye. It has loads of classic meat, fish and puddings in it that he’ll love to make. Both of us have really caught the cooking bug over the last few years. I made a lovely kedgeree for a friend on Saturday. She asked for seconds, which is very flattering. We had Prosecco, wine and some Amaretto later on.

I saw my first poppy on the Tube this evening. Too early, I think.

I have booked the restaurant where I’ll celebrate my 40th birthday next month. That means it’s real now.

Jerry Downing is a wandering soul in search of inspiration and an opportunity to publish his novel. His flatmates, Kerry, Julia and Rachel are presented to us through his eyes, and before they moved in he could flex some economic muscle. Now that he is unemployed he is an outsider. Julia can see the possibilities in him and tries to sell him a new identity by finding a job where he has the opportunity to be united with his other half like she has. He rejects the offer because he has tried that before and failed. His decision to devote himself entirely to his novel makes him very unpopular. This is highlighted when Julia says: ‘I just hope it’s worth giving up three years of your life.’ Convinced that he is socially and emotionally naïve, Julia storms out of the room and pronounces judgment on him. At this point the wandering theme is introduced as Jerry makes his way to Clapham Junction jobcentre to sign on the dole. It continues into the claustrophobic environment of his room where he checks in for agency work. The darkness quickly gathers as his efforts are nullified. He continues his lonely wanderings looking at job adverts with sad eyes, knowing that the restricted list is going to prevent him for securing those jobs. He returns home, pacing up and down in his room like a caged animal in a private trap. The combination of emptiness and isolation in the montage dramatises the anxiety of being unemployed. He tries to extricate himself from the quicksand of his obsession by looking out of the window.

Four reasons why Battersea is the world’s most comically dangerous place to live.

1.

Mmmm. Smells like steak.

Sam artistically captures Argentinian steak restaurant Santa Maria del Sur on fire.

2.

Sigh.

Truck crashes into bus crashes into bridge on Battersea Park Road.

3.

Warriner Gardens scaffolding collapse.

4.

My neighbors had an unexpected visitor on Thursday.

Queenstown Road bus crash.

Country Funk (Realised) 2008/9

Following success at the Manchester Buy Art Fair in September, the dis-figurines shall be making an appearance at the Battersea Affordable Art Fair, London.

The works are represented by Curwen Gallery, London and the Fair is open from Thursday 22nd to Sunday 25th of October 2009. See the Art Fair website for ticket prices and pre-booking.

Also on show with Curwen Gallery at the Fair will be…

Hope to see you there.

Opening both eyes and raising her head off of the sill, she saw that nobody was about.

McKiernan Court, Shuttleworth Road, Battersea, Wandsworth, SW11

It was about eleven o’clock and the only inhabitants of the forecourt were a group of sunbathing pigeons who were curled up on the crudely-fashioned wheelchair ramp that ran alongside the steps to the main entrance of the tower.

I am formally changing my address on Monday. As of Monday I will no longer reside in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. I will no longer live in the house that was my childhood home. Live in the bedroom that still freaks me out because of events that have happened there. Not have to look at my carpet and try and remember where each stain came from. The stain that was from me throwing up on cheap schnapps at a friend’s 16th. The stains from cutting my arms/legs/any other part of my body a bit too deeply. The stain outside my door from where my Dad assaulted my Mum. Be able to look out of the window at the view that I have escaped into for many years. Apart from 5 years at uni I have lived in this house all my life. Apart from 4 and a half years in Newcastle and 6 months in Bloomsbury I have always lived in this part of London. I have always been a South Kensington girl, but only for one last weekend.

On Monday I move into my boyfriend’s flat in Battersea, in the rather less posh sounding (but very up and coming) Borough of Wandsworth. I am scared of moving in with someone. I am notoriously bad to live with and I know that although he is accepting of my faults and weird habits, living with someone day-in, day-out may prove to be a step too far. I already have a back up plan in the form of my friend who has offered her spare room out if it gets too much, but that is negativity. It will work. Why should it not work? I will be living in a lovely flat near Battersea Park where I can go for long walks and enjoy my surroundings. I am living with someone who cares about me and wants to protect me from all the evils that have been thrown at me at home. I am taking my lovely, lovely cat with me. I am worried about leaving my Mum to survive but I am 24, I have to move out of home and stop being responsible for her.

I had my last appointment with Allison today. From Monday my care will be transferred to South West London and St Georges’ Mental Health Trust. Allison has been sending the referral faxes off for the last week or so and has asked the Crisis Team to ring me on Monday when all my address changes have gone through, if only to make contact and to try and update me on a timescale for an appointment.I already have pre-registered with a GP practice so that is one hassle out of the way.

I will sort of miss Allison. I have been seeing her for a year and a lot of things have changed in that 12 months. When she first met me I had been an inpatient, firstly in Newcastle and then transferred to South Ken & Chelsea. I had been shifted onto her caseload from the Assertive Outreach Team who thought I was too nice and compliant to be involved with them. The first time I met her she frogmarched me to Minor Injuries to get some cuts looked at and explained it all to the woman on reception as I was incapable of talking, she even rang me later that day to check I was OK. She saw me in an emergency after I ended up in A&E near my brother’s, she saw me after 2 suicide attempts and even admitted she thought she’d lost me after she got news of the first one, she came and visited me in the Priory after the 3rd attempt in 4 weeks and brought me trashy magazines that she had finished reading. She has supported me through operations due to my self-harm, operations due to the cancer, chemotherapy, the start of radiotherapy, she has talked with me when I have been up most of the night supporting my Mum. She has seen me start a job in recent weeks back at my old school and hopefully find my feet in a world where I am certain (as it is my old stamping ground) but probably too eager to please (as members of staff are still there).

This has probably been one of the most turbulent years I have had and she has been my constant through it. I’m not going to go all borderline and say that I feel abandoned and rejected because I don’t. She has been brilliant in transferring my care over to SW London; I just hope they are as brilliant at picking up new referrals. Sure, there have been times where I have hated her and her actions. Where I have wished that she would give a little more support or take me a little more seriously, but I wasn’t really angry with her, I was angry with the system, with the NHS as a whole, with the lack of money and resources mental health gets within the NHS.

She wished me an easy Yom Kippur and we parted. Hopefully to never see each other again she said. I told her I had no plans to move back home in a hurry. She wished me good luck for the future and happiness with my new start. I got in my car and cried.

This is the start of a new chapter in my life.

Ruth

Friday, Sept. 11, 2009

London Baby!

Flew into London Friday afternoon. Parents met me at Heathrow and took me for alovely lunch and glass of Rose at Chez Gerard in Cobham, Surrey. Headed to Emma and Owen’s pad in Cobham and hung out with Owen and my folks for some tea and biscuits. Lovely to be home.

The lovely Emma

Emma arrived back from work and we had some fun going through old photos and letters from Uni my parents had brought with them.

Said farewell to the ‘rents and headed out for yummy dinner at the Black Swan gastro pub in Ockham. English Lamb, mmmmmm.

Saturday, Sept. 12

Woke at a normal hour thankfully (I heart Nyquil) and had a breakfast of Owen’s home made bread and marmite. Watched some rugby with him before he headed off to play some. Emma stirred and we had a lovely afternoon catching up and eating courgette rissotto grow at their own allotment (the veggies that is not the rice). After a stroll and a coffee in Cobham-town I hit the rails to head into London-town.

JoJo was waiting for me at her lovely pad on Battersea Park Road and we glammed up and hit the town (well the bar ’round the corner). Cocktails and dancing kept us going ’till 2 am (I LOVE jetlag). Ran into a few old school mates which was a nice surprise.

A Night on the Town

Sunday, Sept. 13

A late start (out of bed at midday) and a quick wash before hopping on a train to Chiswick to see Nadia and her lovely brood. A yummy home-cooked meal, bottle of wine and lots of girl-chat = perfect Sunday afternoon. Now home in Battersea awaiting my 4th home-cooked meal of my trip so far – lucky me.

Nadia, Jonas and No. 3

Jojo cosies up to Jojo and Eli

Keen swimmers in Balham and Battersea have been taking advantage of a free swimming scheme being offered by Wandsworth Borough Council.

Some 40,000 people made use of the free offer in the first three months following its launch, with a further 13,000 signing up in July.

Under the scheme, over-60s and those aged under 16 can swim at any of the council-run pools until April 2011.

It has proved popular among those living in London property in Wandsworth than in any other London borough.

Commenting on the new figures, deputy chairman of the environment and leisure committee at the council Rosemary Torrington described the uptake as “excellent news”.

She said: “The scheme was helping the council and NHS Wandsworth meet their joint commitment to encourage local people to participate more actively in sport and improve their fitness levels.

“Wandsworth has four leisure centres with pools, so there should be one within easy reach of everyone.”

Last month, Wandsworth Council launched another fitness scheme with the NHS and Change4Life to encourage residents to get fit in the borough’s parks.

The newly refurbished scheme has been completely modernised as part of the housing department’s investment programme.

Former tenants and new tenants are now moving in to the scheme which has taken around a year to complete and boasts a range of facilities, including improved apartment layout, new windows, fitted kitchens, bathrooms, communal facilities as well as improvements to the communal garden. 

(Extract from “Homelife” Issue 5, June 2009 Wandsworth Council’s Housing Newsletter)

Is this your dog?

On Tuesday 8^th September 2009 Theo the Magician was asked to bring some Magical Entertainment to the Re-Opening Launch of Haven Lodge in Battersea.  There was an unveiling of the garden plaque by the Cabinet Member of Housing.  In attendance were councillors, council staff, housing staff, residents and their families.  Theo entertained all with his Award Winning Close Up Magic and after everyone had eaten made Balloon dogs, hats and lovely flowers for the residents.  The balloon figures went down really well, as all you could hear from the Garden was very loud laughter.  The residents didn’t want Theo to leave and asked when he would be back!!!!!!!

A nervous, yet excited KIKK began their Division 1 campaign with a hard fought 1 – 0 victory over Battersea & Wandsworth.

Playing on a large, sloping pitch KIKK quickly capitalised on their downhill advantage with a powerful strike from Michelle Lukins, scoring on her first game back after a season out with injury.

Battersea & Wandsworth had the opportunity to hit back not once, but twice, through their speedy and evidently feisty striker. She found herself clean through on goal on two occasions, but luckily for KIKK lost her composure squandering both chances.

The second-half was a battle for both teams as first-match tiredness began to set in. KIKK began the half brightly creating chances from both wings – a great cross from Emma Brodrick fizzed across the front of Battersea’s goal skimming the toes of KIKK’s strikers, the slightest touch and it would have been game over. But Battersea refused to lie down and continued to press for a goal with  their experienced midfield (No 2, 8, and 12) beginning to boss the game. Defending in numbers KIKK absorbed the pressure, working tirelessly to stifle Battersea’s attempts at an equaliser with Ingeborg Oie and Sanna Liss solid as ever at the back.

The game ended 1 – 0 to KIKK, a well deserved victory and a great team effort by everyone. Fannie Schiovoni, playing at centre-back was voted KIKK’s player of the match.

Check out the results elsewhere in the league.

Chris Morris warned us of the dangers of bombdogs back in 1994. Please watch this – it’s funnier than almost anything that’s been on telly since.

Today, his vision looked to have become reality, as a special police security cordon was set up on Albert Embankment. Gun-toting cops were stopping random characters along the river for questioning, but from what I saw from the top deck of the 344 on Wednesday afternoon, they were mostly dog walkers. However, the security services are clearly taking the threat very seriously.

Gun-toting police wait for joggers and dog walkers

I love the fact there's a Duck Tours boat about to go past

All very exciting, and wonderful excuse to revisit my ‘The Day Today’ DVD. Full update on today’s exploits to follow later.

Last weekend I had the privilege of hitting up the Red Bull X Fighters Finale at Battersea Power Station on Saturday night.
No idea who most of the riders were – but it was, in a word, AWESOME. The best summary of the night is a picture summary – Photos courtesy of MissDani – Enjoy!

Battersea Power Station - MissDani

Battersea Power Station - MissDani

Red Bull X Fighters - MissDani

Red Bull X Fighters ramp views - MissDani

Red Bull X Fighters Finale - MissDani

And one final Red Bull X-Fighters 2009 YouTube Battle!

Sweet!

Also now uploaded to my Flickr a panoramic shot of the Battersea side of the River Thames from my night shoot. (See previous posts for details of this night shoot and my photo project)

Nate Adams Wins the 5th Stop of the Red Bull xfighters and takes the tour championship at the same time.

The British weather held off and allowed the event go on in excellent conditions infront of 18,000 fans. Adams consistency has enabled him to take the title this year from an off form Mat rebeaud. Mat crashed out falling sort and over rotating on a 120ft gap, although apparently he is ok, he was lucky to only suffer from a few stiches.  His pride is slightly dented and his season has fallen well short of his previous efforts.

One to watch out for next year is definately youngster Levi Sherwood from New Zealand who approached the event with great maturity. Although he did not have as many tricks as his older competitors in the finals his style helped him to progress. Dany Torres has also improved from event to event and we are tipping him at Hardcloud to be pushing the older boys next year.

The Full standings as follows after 5 events

1st Nate Adams (USA)
2nd Robbie Maddison (AUS)
3rd Eigo Sato (JAP)
4th Mat Rebeaud (SUI)
5th Dany Torres (ESP)

Last night I revisited the site of my previous shots for my photo project with Jon Green (for further details, see my previous post) to take some night shots of Battersea Reach to see if it looked more impressive.

I think the image speaks for itself, it is a very impressive view at night and I loved shooting it (I think night shooting is one of my favourite bits of photography!).

Please have a look at Jon and I’s Flickr pages to see all the shots we’ve taken so far (Jon’s can be reached using the link at the beginning of this post and mine can be found in the Flickr widget on the left of my blog —-> )

This project is still in the early stages and we would both welcome any feedback, be it positive or negative (so long as it’s constructive, no random insulting please!)

Although the full details for 2009 are yet to be confirmed, Freesports on 4 Freeze tickets are now available so you can get your winter of sports started early, right here in London, as Freesports on 4 Freeze comes back to Battersea Power Station. Freesports on 4 Freeze tickets will enable winter sports fans to head to a real life ski resort on the banks of the Thames to sample big airs, speedy descents, huge tricks and some of the best music and entertainment known to man. All for us Londoners, and all on the London Freeze slopes in front of the power station.

In addition to all the corking ski and snowboard action, the Freesports on 4 Freeze event will play host to huge ten thousand capacity tent hosting some of the finest live music in the world. If last year’s line up of Cypress Hill, Sway, The Enemy, Reverend and The Makers and Radio 1 DJ, Annie Mac is anything to go by, expect 2009 to be very, very big indeed. And when you throw in some great apres-ski bars with stein beers, vin chaud, conga lines and party DJs and FSO4 at Battersea Power Station looks like the perfect place to start your winter of sporting contentment.

The Freesports on 4 Freeze ski and snowboard event takes place from Friday 30th October – Sunday 1st November 2009 at Battersea Power Station.

To prove its not all work and no play here at BEcause, our annual summer party bash took place last week at The Dutchess  in Battersea. Set to an 80’s theme, the whole team got together to celebrate with classic BBQ food, summer cocktails and glitzy outfits all going around. Below are a few photos of some of our favourite costumes from the night.

Well, the Duchess is one of the nicest pubs I think I have ever been to. Well worth the mild anxiety of finding oneself south of the river when it’s nearly bedtime, and not all that hard to get to either. And look at the view! It’s exactly across the road from the power station – that beautiful, magisterial, doomed hulk.

By the way, I’ve never quite forgiven Will Self for telling some interviewer that it’s his favourite building in London, because it’s so ruined. I remember when it didn’t used to be so ruined. Thank you Margaret Thatcher. I had a  friend who worked on Architectural Digest magazine, and they sent her in there to witness the destruction. She said they were ripping out huge blond maple consoles and just chucking everything in skips. Some was getting sold off  but lots was just trashed. Just think: it was like a Fred Astaire movie inside there…

The pub itself is wonderful anyway, very comfy and well-done-out with silvery patterned seventies-looking wallpapers, and suitable music posters (inluding, wonderfully resonantly, That One) and memorabilia around the place, and excellent food. The upstairs room is lovely, and has both a balcony overlooking the power station and a bar.

It was also one of the best poetry evenings I’ve been to in a long time, not counting our sonnet evening, of course! Well done to Simon Barraclough, Isobel Dixon and Chris McCabe, the organisers, partly for having such a swell idea in the first place, then for doing such a swell job of it, and also for filling the room with such a spectrum of fine poets! Lovely to meet and see so many people. (Carrie Etter says I’m a sap. It was because, when I took the above picvture on my iPhone and then emailed it to my sister right on the spot, I gave myself tears in my eyes typing in the words wish you were here. She says she knew it already from  reading this blog! Never.)

And the poems were wonderful. Simon Barraclough contrived to write a Pink Floyd poem about Antonioni, and Amy Key got Nancy Drew into the act. Jude Cowan did a neat reversal of the fifties pop song convention of having a spoken interlude in a song, by reciting half the poem, singing Money (keeping time with a handful of coins), and then finishing her poem. Richard Price – well, Richard Price.

I can now reveal that my poem starts with a variation on the first line of Wish You Were Here, ends with the words “Wish you were here,” and ends every line with the end-word of the corresponding line in the song. It is a sonnet, too: in proportion. It’s kind of about how I hated Pink Floyd when I was a swotty teenager, listening to Mozart and reading classical literature – & a sort of play on teen angst crossed with the Orpheus myth. Just a little bagatelle! And I got a laugh with the title: Intelligent Album Rock. Claire Crowther and I chalked up the two mentions of the myth of Orpheus of the evening  (hers was possibly more serious) (they gave us our own corner), and Patrick Brandon and I both wrote about it being our siblings who were the Pink Floyd fans. Luke Heeley had a wonderful poem about a mirror and a doorway, a doorway and a mirror. There were lots of great things, in short. But the highlight for me was Chris McCabe’s remarkable, insistent litany of the outfits Thatcher wore on momentous pccasions throughout her reign. Without mocking hair adjectives, but of course with the recurring image of those pearl earrings… Somehow, very powerful.

And all the while, brooding darkly over us…