Then there’s a day like today.

Nothing happened to me. It was more simple than that. It was a shift in perspective.

Today, I showed up.

There’s a difference between physically showing up and mentally showing up – or dare I say both at the same time? 

I was physically there this morning but mentally thinking ahead. It wasn’t until I got to the hospital to visit an old co-worker that my future met my past so I could fully be present. Seeing someone who I haven’t seen in years in a vulnerable state reminds me of the power of showing up. I wasn’t asked nor expected and it’s not about points for being there but about the willingness to care, to honor this person who has had an impact on my life and to share love.

When it’s all said and done, the to-do list on my desk at work isn’t going to matter. The extra tweet or creative idea for Facebook will be long forgotten, but the way you get to make someone feel in a moment of uncertainty is forever remembered and cherished.

Often times it’s so easy to caught up in the daily have-to’s and should’s that I forget the impact of showing up, not just for myself but for the other person. The impact of what it’s like to put your phone away, your computer and give someone your undivided attention. 

These moments shouldn’t surprise me, but they still do. 

When do you show up? 

Believe in what was.

Believe in beauty.

Believe in the heart.

(Truly) Be.
before you
leave. (this life)

~ living consciously, mindfully & awakened ~

Sometimes meditation seems completely impossible to do sitting silently with all our thoughts & emotions swirling around. Whether you’re mind is on the go non-stop or your schedule won’t allow for time to set aside, meditation can be a huge challenge.

Why not find a way to bring meditation to different areas of our life, not just seated silently during a specific allotted time?

Thich Nhat Hanh, a poet & Zen master, describes mindfulness as “keeping one’s consciousness alive to the present reality.”

Mindfulness is a kind of meditation. A meditation in each moment, in every day situations that we might normally be unconscious or unaware of.

Everyday, routine activities are perfect for practicing mindfulness.Things like washing your hands, getting dressed, eating, walking, washing the dishes, driving can seem mundane or boring, but can actually be made into joyful & enlivening moments.

No matter how busy you are, you can live mindfully. You are a living, breathing being who deserves to live life fully & awakened.

Here are every day activities to practice mindfulness, which will awaken consciousness, aliveness, peace & joy:

1) Washing dishes in order to get them out of the way or washing them as a means to an end seems to be normal. Many wouldn’t choose this activity for themselves. Instead, try washing the dishes simply to wash the dishes. It may seem silly, but just BE there with the dishes. Feel all the sensations. Wake up. Rather than trying to get it over with so you can get to the slice of cake waiting for you, be here now, with the dishes in your hands, hot water & soap against your skin. Be AWARE that you are here washing dishes. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s as simple as that.

In Thich Nhat Hanh’s book The Miracle of Mindfulness, he says, “…we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can’t wash the dishes, the chances are we won’t be able to [eat our cake] either. While [eating the cake] we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the [fork] in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future — and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.“

2) Eating mindfully can be a blissful experience. All of us find ourselves at one point or another, eating unconsciously, barely chewing up all of our food. We take a bite & before finishing that bite, we’re on to the next. We miss out on what we are putting into our body, the tastes, textures, where it came from & the gratitude of having food to nourish our body. When eating, choose to sit at a table, no phones, no TV’s — just you, the food & loved ones if they ‘re around. Enjoy each bite & place your fork down after each bite. Chew the food thoroughly & really TASTE it! Feel the nourishment of the food.

3) Walking mindfully can be a wonderful movement meditation. Instead of walking to get to your destination, walk for the sake of walking. Rather than focusing on the end point, focus on each & every step. FEEL your feet on the ground. Whether it’s walking to your car, walking up the stairs, walking outside or wherever it may be, walk one step at a time. BE in each step. It doesn’t matter if you’re walking slowly or quickly. Be aware of the energy that’s moving, whether it’s fast or slow. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Peace is every step.”

4) Getting into your car & driving can be a very automatic thing that we don’t pay attention to. It’s routine &  just a means to an end most of the time. When you open the car door & sit down, pause for a moment. A simple start is to bring in awareness. Take a conscious breath. Be aware of where you are & where you are going. Again, feel gratitude. Bring your attention to how you turn the car on & all the details that you miss when you’re lost in your head. Listen to the sounds. Feel the steering wheel in your hands. See what’s in front of you & around you. Be HERE.

5) Breathing is of course happening every moment that we’re alive. Breath is LIFE. Most of the time we are not conscious of our breathing. It’s just a process that happens, it’s effortless. But once we take our attention & awareness to it, we breathe mindfully & are instantly connected to the source of life. To pay attention to our breath, we stop thinking so much & become present. You can become aware of your breath no matter where you are or what you are doing. It is a meditation that can be taken into anything.

❤           ❤          ❤

When we live mindfully, we wake up to the beauty & miracle of life. We become alive. We realize that living as if we’re asleep or on autopilot pales in comparison to living fully & awakened. We realize once we are living mindfully that there is a lot of LIFE to be LIVED.

When we live mindfully in the present moment, “every moment is the best moment,” as Eckhart Tolle says.

Mindfulness is the miracle by which we master and restore ourselves…

it is the miracle which can call back in a flash our dispersed mind

and restore it to wholeness

so that we can live each minute of life.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

❤

Have a beyoutiful & mindful week! ;)

Facebook ~ facebook.com/beyoutifulliving

Twitter ~ twitter.com/bYOUtiFULLiving

]]> http://minwrites.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/do-something-scary/ Tue, 19 Mar 2013 22:11:57 +0000 Min http://minwrites.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/do-something-scary/

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

this didn’t always make sense to me.  but I think I’m getting it.

why do scary things?

it’s really the only way to change behavior from what I was programmed by childhood experiences to think, believe and do.  it’s the only way to become more of who I want to be.

once I can step outside of my comfort zone – where my fears are in control – I am one step closer to expressing the best part of myself.  the part that doesn’t think it’s “good enough” to get published, or write for a living, or refashion my conservative clothes to something a little wilder, or wear those crazy sunglasses that I’ll wear when I’m cool enough.

now is all we have.  do something scary now to invest in tomorrow’s now.

so – what’s scary?  putting myself out there.  speaking up.  being seen.

Lapsang is a tea I became fascinated with long before I became conversant in loose leaf teas. One of the “off the shelf” former-British Empire type brands of tea bag used to have a lapsang souchong offering in a burgundy colored box and, after initially being attracted by that color alone and the curiosity of the unknown, my father, brother and I discovered we liked the strange, smokey tea it produced. Over time, as I got interested in loose leaf tea, I found that many lapsang swerved too close to “pork rinds” for my taste and, after many co-workers begging me to stop “brewing bacon in the office” I knew I had to find a better option.

Upton’s own “Black Dragon” is the answer. With a sprinkling of white buds tossed in (I don’t know why), this tea manages to have a strong, assertive flavor and positive smoke presence without making you think of brisket, pork shoulder, bacon or beef jerky. It somehow balances the underlying black tea (made from the “souchong” or lesser prized leaves further down from the choicest “two leaves and a bud” that goes into most fine teas) and its inherent flavors with the smoke. Early steepings are dark and strong, with the tannins of the tea pushing hard against the smoke. Later steepings are lighter and sharper,

These days I chase the dragon using a black clay yixing pot by Mrs. Sheng (not to be confused with sheng pu’er I assume) and it has been fun to watch this pot do the opposite of what all other yixing tend to do. Instead of beginning life light and matte finished, this pot began black and shiny and over time is becoming lighter and is slowly losing its pristine luster. Even bone dry with no leaves in it, it already reeks of pine fire after just a few months of steady use.

Black dragon is one of my short list of “daily drinking” teas, especially in the cooler weather, and is not the only one I source from Upton. Upton has a massive selection of tea compared to a lot of other more specialized vendors, and they perhaps don’t quite reach the pinnacle of excellence that some do, but they are price competitive across the board and have some of the best customer service you could imagine.

It’s no doubt that Humira is scary, but as the beige sedan inched its way closer I woke up. We all are not guaranteed a long life and it can all come to an abrupt end at any moment. I feel in these last few weeks, I have once again failed to be present. I easily distract myself perhaps as a coping mechanism. My quality of life has diminished (with pain increasing) but, I brushed it to the side, and pushed forward. Pain communicates that joint damage is occurring and I unconsciously ignored that. But, I am putting myself back on track and being aware and taking care. The start was my Humira shot, continued by going to the doctor, and now resting in bed or on the couch (the last couple days). Fatigue is getting the best of me which always brings insecurities on strong. It still seems so surreal (though I have experienced it for years) that randomly I am so exhausted and achy that the flu seems to be the only possible cause. I now know it’s RA. The flu goes away and this is a chronic reality that I am learning to make peace with. My body needs help so I am slowing down and learning to listen more carefully. Also, I am working through insecurities and fears realizing they are merely thoughts that I should observe not things I should own. While RA is not fun, it has taught me a tremendous amount and I am better for that.

The 1992 Menghai shu pu’er which I purchased from Camellia Sinensis (Canada) has been a real eye opener for me with regards to shu pu’er.

Because shu (fully ripened, not fully “cooked”) pu’er is a recent process (early 1970′s as opposed to sheng style which may date all the way back to the second, possibly even the first, epoch of tea production [we currently live a few centuries into the third]), it tends to be looked down upon by those sheng aficionado who consider it a “lesser” product, an “imitation”, a “short cut” or some similar pejorative. Yes, it is true, the Wò Dūi technique was developed to “mimic” aged sheng without all the decades of waiting around. But the reality at this point is two-fold:

1. shu pu’er is not a good mimic of aged sheng by any stretch of the imagination and I don’t think anyone would claim otherwise
2. shu pu’er is a very tasty, interesting, and complex tea in its own right and there is no reason for it to be overshadowed by sheng

This ’92 leaf from Menghai is proof of both.

It is not easy to find long aged shu. In a way, such a thing almost is a self-contradiction. In fact, with the exception of a ’78 which a Chinese cuisine & sushi bar in Evanston, Illinois serves as a bit of a party trick, this ’92 is one of the oldest shu I’ve ever seen for sale by more than a decade (Camellia Sinensis CA also has some early to mid ’80′s offerings at this point in time).

The best way I can describe this tea is “flood damage”. The first thing that the first steep after the rinse in dear Mr. Chen’s yixing (which I acquired through CS CA, by the way) yields is the overwhelming aromas of a basement gone bad. The liqueur is thick in the mouth and coats the tongue through the early steeping and over time a lingering sweetness emerges in later cups as the musty mildew passes on.

I highly recommend picking some of this up if you’re one of those sheng folks who believes that shu is not the real deal.

I was given a gift today: a waiting assignment away from the internet. there was all this time. so I filled it with writing and patterning and cutting and weaving. things on my to do list for ages. nothing finished, but all of it started, which is the hard part.

my feelings had time to catch up to my brain. where I am usually onto the next thing before I’ve integrated the last, being in a different environment with way fewer distractions allowed me the luxury to slow down.

it reminded me that one of the best ways to plug into my creativity is to unplug from everything else.

This morning I am sipping Golden Buds Shu Pu’er Xingyang (2010 vintage) which I purchased from Verdant Tea. If you don’t know about VT and the amazing work that David and his team are doing to honor The Way of Tea here in the United States, you really should get to know them, the gardens they represent, and the fantastic tea which flourishes out of these relationships.

I can freely admit that I may or may not have lept up and down and squealed when I saw this tea first listed on the VT website. A combination of three things I love dearly — shu style pu’er, Yunnan golden buds and sandalwood?! Yes, please. Thank you sir, may I have another?

I can also freely admit that when my shipment arrived I may have rent my garments and sat in sackcloth and ashes — I didn’t order enough?! It was clear that the amount I’d ordered would only fill three or four sessions in my 315 ml Mr. Chen yixing. Curse my fiscal constraints I need more of this tea!

After a shockingly cold Autumn and a shockingly mild and warm Winter, Houston has found itself trapped in a rather strange cycle over the past three weeks. At a time of year when the locals tend to be thinking “Spring has arrived” and begin planting tomatoes, peppers and other warm weather delicates, we have been experiencing some of our coldest nights of 2013 and daytimes mixed with bluster and clouds. Every time it rains the temperature drops 15 to 20 degrees, and it takes another ten days to warm back up again.

It rained yesterday, and this morning finds us once again facing cool and crisp (locally speaking) weather and finds me worried about the fresh growth on my roma plants. A warming, soothing tea was called for, and that’s why I turned to this xingyang for my day’s first session.

I’m not going to try to flex my wine speak muscles on this first post. This turns out to be a very subtle tea. I can’t help but wonder if it doesn’t need another year or two of age to really, truly come into its own. At any rate I can’t outdo the fantastic description that VT has provided (on the link above). The early steepings are warm, sweet and thick — almost like a Wurther’s Original. Later steepings become spicy and brooding.

I keep saying I’m going to start buying whole cakes/bricks and keeping some of them to age at home, but I know this is fool’s gold. Any tea in my house that I know is there, that I know I like, I’m going to end up drinking. Even so, VT is already sold out of this leaf, and if I want more than the one session’s worth I still have in a tin, I’m going to have to live in hope that they eventually acquire more. Whether I can manage to acquire enough that I even have to spare to consider “putting up” will be one thing, and whether I have the wherewithal to actually put it up and leave it there will be entirely another.

But, one of the best lessons that tea has been teaching me the past year or two is dispassionate attachment. Tea is an agricultural product. It is seasonal. First flush doesn’t taste like second flush. This year’s first flush doesn’t taste like last year’s first flush. The Lao Tong Zhi Old Comrades (2011 vintage) isn’t going to taste the same next year as it did this year. The mythical Golden Fleece dian hong may never again be as good as it was last year.

Expecting tea to always be the same is like expecting every kiss to be like your first, every crush to ache like your first, or every roller coaster to terrify and thrill like the first one you experienced.

The Way of Tea doesn’t require us to slow down to savor each cup simply because expensive, high quality tea “demands” to be lingered over. We have to savor every sip and every session because every batch of leaf is unique and every session is unique and we will never duplicate the experience. No matter how much leaf we buy, no matter how much we put up to store for another season, it is never going to taste like it does today and won’t have the mouthfeel that it has today and won’t have the dry and wet leaf aroma that it has today so we need to be present in this moment right now or we are wasting the opportunity to participate and remember.

And the neat thing is, this is true of everything in our lives. Not just fantastic tea.

Ingredients:

• A scoop of Walking Honey
• A handful of Listening
• A dash of Self Care
• A pinch of Writing
• A cup of Prayer and
• A whole lot of Paying Attention

Instructions:

Mix it all together and wa la we’re ready to eat! As with any recipe add some, take some away, make it your own.

Here’s how I feed my creative soul:

I wake up at 4:30am every morning. It’s not always easy, but for me it is Self Care: it helps me sleep better, the house is quiet and I have alone time. I Write three pages in my spiral notebook every day. Then I read a few pages from various books for inspiration and guidance. I Pray and I attempt to meditate.

By 6am I am ready and I take Honey for a Walk that lasts about fifteen minutes.

It’s usually very quiet. I Listen to the sounds of birds chirping, a distant neighbor’s rooster cock-a-doodle-do-ing and a few cars passing by on their way to work.

The sun is just on its way up, peeking over the mountains. If I’m lucky, the sky is filled with blues, pinks and purples. I take this time to connect with my higher power, to Pray and to stay in the moment by Paying Attention to all of my surroundings. I live across the street from a big empty lot that is filled with tall grass and old trees. There is an indented path worn down by the cars that cut through to reach a few houses at the end. Right at the edge, there is a sea of rocks. I collect a few and bring them home.

There are about four paths we take, a different one every day. We have gone on hundreds of walks and I am amazed that I still see things I have never noticed before. Recently, it was a big bush filled with fragrant white flowers.

I find that I am most inspired when I am making gifts for friends and family – and recently, for myself. By really Listening and Paying Attention to what they like or need or want. I pull from all of these ingredients and mix them all together. When I am in the right place at the right time, the idea comes to me and I Write it down or do a little sketch.

Then I make it. I might make a mistake and it might turn out wonderful. I might love it and I might hate it.

I just make it. I learn from the experience and move on to the next.

~ Jaime Shoultz

This is a struggle.

This is a practice.

Bringing yoga and meditation into the 12-step program at the Scottsdale Recovery Center, promotes healing at a deeper level—clients learn to resist negative behaviors of the past and begin to live healthy habits of the Now!

Eckhart Tolle in his book “The Power of NOW” writes about your life’s journey having both an outer and inner purpose. “The outer purpose is to arrive at your goal or destination, which implies future…but if the steps you are going to take in the future, take up so much of your attention that they become more important than the step you are taking now, then you completely miss the journey’s inner purpose.”

After reading a few pages from this book to my students, they began to speak up.

One of my students commented, “I really messed up in the past, and my future is not looking so good, but I am working hard to appreciate where I am.”

Another said, “It’s just hard not to look back on how I got here.”

It’s not that we can’t look back on what choices, experiences, and people have brought us to this moment; nor should we avoid setting wonderful goals to achieve in the future. It’s simply about learning to, as my amazing student said, “appreciate where I am.” Appreciate where YOU are right here, right now in life.

When we learn to be grateful, we begin to understand true happiness. We can greet each new day with a smile, and we can give thanks for each precious breath we take in every special moment.

Breathe in. Breathe out. And don’t allow a moment to pass without experiencing it to the fullest.

- Heidi Malano, Recovery Based Yoga Instructor at Scottsdale Recovery Center 

What’s the big deal about standing out, being different? Does it mean you’re an ego-maniac or that humility does not live in your heart? In my humble opinion, I think not. I talk about this a fair bit and I believe that being unique comes naturally to us when we’re young. As we get to grade school we begin the training towards sheep-ism. We’re born individuals, not carbon copies, right?

In order to MAKE a difference we need to BE different. If we were the same as everyone and everything else, there would be no reason to crave for or facilitate change, now would there?

One message that can tend to occupy the ‘stand out mentality’ is our North American culture that says, “Notice me, I’m special!” That’s not what I’m talking about. I dare say I’m referring to a lifestyle alternate to that.

7 Simple Different-Makers:

1. Say more than ‘Happy Birthday’ in a card, on Facebook or other social media outlets we participate in. We can stand out by taking 10 extra seconds, remember a special moment or connection. When we make another feel valued, we are standing out!

2. Fight the sheep-y mentality. Just because everyone else hates Monday, doesn’t mean we should! Start a Monday Love Revolution….now THAT would be different!

3. When we come across a grumpy customer service associate or a visually disturbing driver (you know, the kind that extend certain digits), be kind and extend a smile or ask a caring question. We are so conditioned to sneer or judge unhappy others yet when we have a bad day we certainly want some grace, right? Who knows, maybe they just got horrible news or their lives are in turmoil. You better believe we’d be making a difference by extending a little kindness.

4. My official signature includes a happy face. That stands out. People look at it sideways all the time…and then they smile. Do you have a unique marker that people know you for? Have one thing that everyone knows is your thing. For some it may be a particular colour, for others it may be their unique socks or choice in golf pants – I should find some photos! For me it’s my smiley face, monkeys and coffee. Not coffee-drinking monkeys though….

5. Be non-judgmental. Shock and awe at its finest! No, I mean it….non-judgmental…just for a day. People remember when you treat them with respect and don’t try to use ‘you should’s’ in the conversation. When a person doesn’t have to hide part of who they are to accommodate you, they’ve found someone special. Be THAT person. Feeling safe at the mercy of another human being  - novel concept to be that for someone.

6. Believe in others’ dreams. There isn’t much that is more powerful or different-making than encouraging someone to follow their bliss. Not in a pie-in-the-sky manner but, “Hey, I know you have wanted to do ———- for a long time. How can I help you get there?”

7. OH oh oh – I know! How about putting technology away and really being present in the moment with your family or whoever it is that’s sharing with you (I have not mastered this one…yet…but I’m working on it)? I have a friend who doesn’t bring her phone in to the restaurant when we get together. It’s brilliant because I know she values our time together and it actually IS different than what most of us do.

Be different. Make a difference.

there is something about being present in nature that fills my soul. scientists might say it’s the negative ions or some such thing, but I choose to believe that there is something undefinable (spirit?) that is alive in the outdoors and is way less accessible inside.

today I noticed it at dog park, standing in the shade of a huge oak. blue sky, early spring greenery, freshly mown grass, cool breeze.

it’s a level of serene that I haven’t found with a roof over my head, even at a spa. in just a half hour.

thanks, God – You did good. xo

Yours truly,

Erin Terese

P.S.  This reflection comes one week before my 30th birthday.  This new decade seems to have my mind doing a review of the Shades… If you have any comments or feedback, please share!  xo