Short Sale Pre-foreclosure homes in South Carolina…

We are working with Sellers and the Banks to LIQUIDATE Properties.

The Banks are requesting that all Buyers bring their highest and best offers.

*** 119 Springfield Road, Beaufort, SC 29907: 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1200 sq. ft.

PRE-FORECLOSURE SHORT SALE LIST PRICE: 59,900, Bank Owed: $123K

*** 115 Persimmon Circle, Goose Creek, SC 29445: 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1300 sq. ft.

PRE-FORECLOSURE SHORT SALE LIST PRICE: Best Offer Over $60K, Bank Owed: $123K

*** 53 Rivers Point Row, Charleston, SC 29412: 3BR, 2.5BA, 1850 sq. ft., Great 1st and 2nd Floor Back Porches

PRE-FORECLOSURE SHORT SALE Minimum Bid: $150,000, Bank Owed: $183,000

*** 2494 Etiwan Avenue, Unit A11, Charleston, SC 29414: 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath, 921 sq. ft.

PRE-FORECLOSURE SHORT SALE LIST PRICE: $59,900, Bank Owed: $109K

*** 180 Alberta Drive, Woodruff, SC 29388: 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1232 sq. ft.

LIST PRICE: Best Offer Over $70K, Bank Owed: $120K

*** 6348 Greenfield Drive, Spartanburg, SC 29303: 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1152 sq. ft., Fantastic Pool with Newer Liner and Pool House

PRE-FORECLOSURE SHORT SALE LIST PRICE: Best Offer Over $70K, Bank Owed: $123K

*** 8852 Gable Street, North Charleston, SC: 2 bedroom, 2 bath, 950 sq ft.

PRE-FORECLOSURE SHORT SALE LIST PRICE: Best Offer over $75,000, Bank Owed: 118,000

BROKERS ARE PROTECTED. BRING YOUR CLIENTS TODAY AND EARN A COMMISSION.

PRE-FORECLOSURES, SHORT SALES, MUST SELL

 Fill out the online VIP Questionnaire at http://www.schomesellers.com/BuyAHome.cfm to get the lock box code to see the inside of the home. You can also call us at (843)881-7171.

NEED HELP QUALIFYING TO BUY THIS HOME? 
We can help get you financed. Just contact us and we’ll help you get into this great home. 

Would you like to see other available short sales? http://scwholesaleproperties.com/

Oh how BEAUTIFUL this wedding was – the couple, their families, their guests, the weather, this venue, the decor…. OH MY- the beauty!

Katie and Adam are so amazing- they had their wedding at the Callawassie Island Club in Okatie, South Carolina- originally from New Hampshire- they had the best of both worlds this weekend.  Their hearts hold Vermont and South Carolina very dear, so they brought Vermont here to the South for the most memorable day in their lives!

They specifically wanted a ‘Northwoods’ feel – but they added in fabulous personalized details.  Father of the bride made custom votive holders out of birch trees cut from their own home in New Hampshire.  The were so lovely.  We created centerpieces using rock salt in the base to carry our snow feel up the vase, cranberries, pine cones, iced birch branches, and added in white stock and tube rose florals to make it all come together.

Behind the sweetheart table and for the seating cards, we used a great variety of tree that perfectly fit the feel of our ‘Northwoods’.  Table names were all landmarks in Vermont  and each guest place setting was topped with a large South Carolina pine cone that held a ‘Thank you’ charm.

The amazing bouquets and bouts were created by Southern Stems, who sadly has now relocated to Atlanta, Georgia (lucky brides). The beautiful ‘birch tree’ wedding cake was created by Brown Sugar Custom Cakes.  Another Northern tradition they incorporated is the ‘home-made cookie bar’ .  Friends and family created delicious cookies for guests to take home as a lovely snack.

And one of my favorite touches….the martini luge!!!!!  This was a huge hit as always.  The couples last name begins with ‘L’ so as you will see, it was perfect- see below.

For a fabulous finishing touch, guests signed the couples snow board guest book – it was GREAT! 

We got to work with the wonderful photographers from Vermont, Daria Bishop Photography.  Lee Edwards of Lee Edwards Entertainment (Charleston) kept this great group dancing all night!!!  All of this took place at the phenomenal Callawassie Island Club in Okatie.  Holly and her staff were so AMAZING and I look forward to working with them again.  This venue was breathtaking and exquisite.

Very candid photos:

Inside shot during the day…

Another angle of the dining room…

One more angle- LOVE the beams…

Table shot- we also place custom made wood boxes around the room containing more branches to add that ‘feeling’ in.  You can sort of see it behind the arrnagement.  You can see the table names in the gold frame-

One of my favorite bouquets- I love the fiddlehead fern…

Another angle….

Close up onthe pine cone favors with the ‘Thank you’ charm.

I just loved doing this- seating cards hung, you can see the snow board in front of them for guest to sign.  We used tons of pine cones all around for accents…the adorable bears were a gift from the mother of the bride a few years ago for when her daughter married.

The famous cookie table- isn’t it just AMAZING!

I took a quick shot out of a window of the ceremony – the view was so beautiful and the weather matched it perfectly.

The ‘birch tree’ cake by Brown Sugar Custom Cakes.

A shot of the snow board guest book.

AND….the martini luge in the shape of “L’ and a heart!!!!

The fruit and cheese display in front the roaring fire

Their memory table for those that are not here!

And an attempt at an evening shot- it was so warm and romantic!!  I LOVE this look and feel.

And one last shot of the back pattio- through the window (sorry) before it was totally dark.

Updating the weekly stats- there is good news that our absorption rate has fallen to 16 months worth of inventory overall.

This is the absorption rate for areas 1-5 of the Beaufort MLS

As you can see, this is as low as it’s been since I started tracking the absorption rate at the beginning of this year.   I think it has more to do with falling inventory than a huge increase in sales, however.  When you look at the number of under contract listings, there is not as big a swing up on the trend line as there is a swing down in number of listings.

The trendline for the under contract properties is relatively flat compared to the decrease in the number of active listings.

I know the green solds bars look exciting, but that is a cumulative number.  We probably won’t even hit 500 transactions for the year compared to 937 for 2006, 702 in 2007, and 542 in 2008.  We are sitting at 385 residential sales in areas 1-5 year to date.

Ok, what do you think?  Are we at the bottom?  Let me know!

Are you wondering how to do a short sale for South Carolina Homes? A short sale occurs when a lender agrees to take less than the principle due on your home to release you from the debt obligation. They may even be willing to consider it payment in full. In today’s real estate market, many cities are experiencing financial hardship. Financial hardship may lead to bankruptcy or foreclosure. A short sale may be your best bet to avoid these and be able to move on without a foreclosure on your credit.

Of course, there is no need for a short sale if you can afford to keep it (if your financial situation will change very quickly). You should consider a short sale is when you are having a hard time trying to sell your South Carolina Home. It may be that you are financially able to weather the loss, but, more likely, a short sale will take place due to financial hardship.

There are many homeowners who have had a home on the market for some time. Some are tired of waiting, have received a lowball offer and are financially able to take the loss. That’s the best case scenario. Others, however, are suffering financially. They’ve lost their jobs or have experienced medical emergencies or other emergencies that have put them at great financial risk. They need to sell their homes to get out of the mortgage payments. They are upside down in their homes and a short sale looks like a good prospect.

If the lender of your mortgage agrees to a short sale, they will report the account as closed to all major credit reporting bureaus. They may report the account as paid in full if it is negotiated and probably will not if it is not negotiated. They may request that you pay the difference if you don’t get it negotiated as waived. Otherwise they write off the remainder due on your mortgage as a loss and send you a 1099 for the difference. If it is your primary home, the IRS usually considers the amount on the 1099 as income that is not taxed due to the Mortgage Debt Relief Act of 2007, and if it is a secondary or investment house you will probably be taxed on that amount. Our team of negotiators always tries to get the deficiency waived! Do you want to “Sell My South Carolina House Fast”? 

When the company you’re working with is negotiating with the lender, make sure they request up front that they report the account as paid as agreed if possible. This will eliminate the negative reporting on your credit report. In regards to the forgiven amount on your mortgage loan, the Mortgage Forgiveness Debt Relief Act of 2007 may apply to you. Up to $2 million of your mortgage debt can be excluded from IRS taxation on your principal residence. Up to $1 million applies for those married filing separately. Check with an accountant or the IRS website for more details.

The bottom line is that a short sale may be the only way you will be able to sell your home, and get out from underneath the weighty indebtedness of your mortgage. Make sure you have a South Carolina Short Sale negotiation company to do some serious negotiating for the short sale.

sounds good right about now. We woke up to a malfunctioning furnace, which filled the house and the immediate village with acrid smoke.  As a result, the heat is off, the windows are open, and I’m thinking a nice, warm coastal location might be just the ticket.  And then we get a call from a shop opening up in beautiful Beaufort, SC.

I then went onto the Internet to find out a little about Beaufort, and no wonder these folks are looking for fiber supplies – even the trees are furry!  Do a search on Beaufort images – wow.  Elegant mansions, Spanish moss dripping from the trees, boats anchored nearby . . . and now a yarn store in the midst of all this.  Heaven on earth!

Should you be so lucky as to be in Beauford, SC soon, stop in to see Judy Algar at Coastal Knitting.  You’ll find her at 812 Port Republic.  Good luck, Judy!

The new and sometimes only pre-foreclosure strategy- You May Be Asking What is a Short Sale for my house in South Carolina?

For all the owners of houses or property who are upside down and can no longer make their mortgage payment (because of being upside down and having a job loss, not being able to maintain a trouble rental house, divorce, or mortgages and taxes that are adjusting higher), up to now the only option was walking away and letting the bank foreclose. That’s not a good option since a foreclosure sticks on your credit record for at least 7-10 years. Most experts are now advocating a “short sale”. There’s a significant difference between the two: If your bank agrees to a short sale, you then work with an investor and buyer for the house, you sell the house at a loss to the bank since it’s no longer worth what you owe, and with the bank’s approval, they agree to eat the loss (although they could still demand the homeowner make some kind of payment or share the loss, if you do not get the deficiency waived).

That’s the really short version of “How does a short sale work in South Carolina”. As we selling a short sale house in a Charleston neighborhood recently, we were interested to see what portion of the houses currently under contract were short sales. We assumed about 25% to 40% would be short sales, but it turns out 75% of them under contract for sale were a short sale! If you have not talked to anyone about How to Sell Your House Fast in Charleston, South Carolina, contact us today.

With South Carolina Home Buyers, we immediately talk to the seller’s mortgage company and find out any special items they may request and then work with them to ensure we have everything they need at that time, and that they are willing to move forward. Then, we submit an offer with the bank and start negotiating with them since this process takes a couple months. A real estate agent lists the property and does not work with the bank until an offer from the end buyer is received (…if one is received). Then, that buyer must wait between weeks to months after this listing period until the bank will start working with the offer. The only problem with this is that the end buyer may not be willing to wait that long as it gets pushed longer and longer with the bank. So, they may walk away. To make things a bit harder, many agents have not worked on a short sale. Many are saying they can work them because they have taken a one day short sale or foreclosure training, but do not know the steps that must be taken if an offer is submitted to a bank. They may not know how to get around the fact that the bank will not return their calls, the loss mitigator will not take the deal to their investor, the bank says they never waive a deficiency judgement against the seller, or HOW to truly negotiate with the bank. Most agents are NOT handling the negotiations with the bank themselves and instead turn the contract over to another coordinator to handle the entire process.

SCHomeBuyers.net works with banks and sellers to liquidate houses in South Carolina BEFORE there’s a foreclosure on the sellers credit. We want to help sell your home now, so you can move on as quickly as possible.

This is a sweet condo for someone… one of the best features is the two car garage- Provides just a little more security and privacy than your normal condo, and it is a built in play area for  little kids.  Just put the garage door down and viola!  A secure, dry, outdoor play area you can check from the kitchen window or front storm door.

Check out the tour:

It’s that time of year in the Hilton Head area. Some says it’s the perfect time of year, with the air crisp at night but still warmed by the sun during the day. Rainy days are ending as the hurricane season comes to a close, once again we luckily made it out ok! The beautiful days, perfect evenings, and start of the slight seasonal change here in the lowcountry causes people to get out and about in town. The Hilton Head area does a great job of providing a variety of festivals and events for the whole family to enjoy. This weekend, from Hilton Head to Beaufort there are CAN NOT MISS events happening! If you’re visiting the area over the next few days, pack everyone in the car and explore!

Just 7 miles over the Hilton Head bridge lies the historical town of Bluffton, SC. Though the 5^th Annual Bluffton Arts and Seafood Festival kicked of last weekend, you haven’t missed the main events! The street festival will be up and running this Saturday, October 24 and Sunday, October 25 from 10am – 5pm rain or shine. Over 50 local and regional artists will display a variety of art including oils, acrylics, photography, ceramics, and more. Tantalize your taste buds with some local seafood and lowcountry cuisine; don’t miss the hush puppies and collard greens! There will also be interactive booths for the kids to have fun and learn about the environment and surrounding ocean. You can’t miss a stop by the historical landmarks of Bluffton either. The Heyward House Museum and Welcome Center will be open, as well as the riverfront Church of the Cross. Outside of the street festival other actives to enjoy include Boat Tours on the May, $20 per person, the ferry departs from the Calhoun Street Dock at 11am, 12:30pm, 2pm, and 3:30pm Saturday. Children 12 and under can take part in the Children’s Fishing Tournament Saturday from 10am-2pm. First Prize is a brand new Fishing Pole! Live music from local favorites like the Jeff Beasley Band and Trainwrecks will fill the fall air throughout the weekend. For a full list of everything happening and directions visit www.blufftonartsandseafoodfestival.com/events.html.

If you are feeling really adventurous, take the 30-minute drive to Beaufort for the Habersham Marketplace Harvest Festival. This FREE festival begins Saturday, October 24 at 2pm and goes into the evening. Located in historical Beaufort, the Habersham Marketplace serves as a great place for family and friends to gather to celebrate the start of the holiday season and sip some warm cider. Food, contests, obstacle courses, hayrides, live music, and face painting are just some of the featured activities. For more information you can visit www.habershamharvestfest.com. Also while in the Beaufort area, stop by the Beaufort Fall Festival of Houses and Gardens. You can tour a variety of the historical antebellum and Victorian mansions and grounds. For details call 843-379-3331.

Not in the venturous mood? Want to stick a bit closer to Hilton Head? Do not fret; there is plenty of fun on the Hilton Head Island as well. The Coastal Discovery Museum Honey Horn Plantation will host its Community Festival this Friday and Saturday from 5:30-9:30pm. It is a lovey time to come out with the entire family to enjoy the grounds as well as inflatable rides for the kids, a haunted forest, and food galore! For a more cultured activity, The Main Street Youth Theatre presents “Guy & Dolls” now through November 8. Shows start at 7pm on Friday and Saturday and 2pm on Sundays. Visit www.msyt.org for ticketing.

Whatever you choose to do, we know you will always enjoy yourself when visiting Hilton Head. Make sure you let us at Sunset Rentals know about what you and your family did while on vacation!

Blackbeard’s Boat Uncovered

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_shipwreck_anchor

Today was another wonderful adventure. The day began with mimosas in bed. What a fun way to start the day! After that we all piled into the Suburban and drove to Beaufort. The drive there was spectacular. Beautiful bridges and water everywhere. We began at the Visitor’s Center.

I learned a little about the Gulla culture, bought some Gulla spices and got a Gulla bible for Marcus. Then we drove down to the waterway where we caught another horse drawn carriage ride around Beaufort. I never knew all the movies that had been shot there, including The Big Chill, The Prince of Tides and Forrest Gump. The homes were phenomenal and the trees, shrubs and flowers just gorgeous. Life is laid back and people are friendly.

We had lunch at a quaint restaurant outside on the water called, Plums. We walked around the town, did some shopping and photographed the house that was in the Big Chill.

I am struck by the fact that I am having such a wonderful time with three other women, two of whom I didn’t know before this trip. The third woman is my cousin Anne. I don’t normally travel with women and expected there may be some tense moments or cattiness that sometimes happens with women. There has been absolutely none of that. We have been nothing but kind and caring with each other. It’s been such a wonderful, relaxing, supportive experience.

Do you think women learn to get along better and support each other as they age or do you think it’s easier for women to get along when there are no men in the mix? Or do you have another theory?

Just playing around with a new marketing tool… TourFactory really has a pretty impressive product.  I think it can be very powerful in getting eyes to stop and look for more than just a minute, and they have a pretty good syndication system, too.

Let me know what you think.  This is from Battery Shores-

Ok, you tell me what you think of 1) the medium, and 2) the house!

Thanks!

Last year, in an attempt to be fiscally practical, I purchased the cheapest bike I could find. It cost $50, brand new, at a certain famous discount store.  Since it looked as good as the next bike, I thought I had a bargain.

The first time I rode it the right pedal fell off.  This was on a family excursion, so I pressed on, not wanting to spoil the outing.  On the return ride home I experienced severe derrière discomfort.  My husband traded bikes with me, pedaled for about a block, and declared that he was riding the rest of the way standing up.

The next time I visited my parents I described the  “bargain bike” to my father. He went to a closet and came back carrying The Seat®.  Someone had given it to him for a holiday and he said he wasn’t ever going to use it.  He gave it to us.

 The Seat®, which still had the tag on it, promised to:

“have been endorsed by physicians.”

“reduce the risk of impotency.”

“solve the problem of bike seat discomfort.”

I took The Seat® and was heading to my car with it when my sister stopped me.  “Hey, what are you doing? We gave that to Dad for Christmas a few years ago. It was expensive!” 

So much for avoiding bike seat discomfort.

It turns out that The Seat® cost $50.  It’s kind of funny to put a $50 seat on a $50 bike, but I did it.  And I had some very comfortable rides as a result.  Until the left pedal fell off.  And the brakes stopped working. Which wasn’t all that long after installing The Seat®.  

This is just the beginning the story about The Seat® and how it influenced The Hot Pink Bike Route.  But it’s the end of this post.  Because blog posts are supposed to be short and this one already isn’t!

It’s funny how a house can sit on the market for almost a month and not have anyone do anything on it but then WHAM!  Three offers in less than  a week.  Two of the three are pretty good, and the seller will be in a fairly strong position… pretty unusual for this enviroment.  That’s what happens when you price at the market I guess.  Could even see a bidding war…

I’ll let you know how it turns out.

What an evening for Shrimp Fest!  Almost full moon, high tide, great breeze… Who could ask for more??

If you didn’t make it tonight, you have tomorrow… well worth the trip!

Did you go?  Have a good time? Get enough to eat?  Let me hear from you!

My friend Karen Ostrander took this gorgeous shot of a shrimpboat and sunset:

Day-29-Shrimp-Fest-Photos

Beaufort, North Carolina…

Ok, new format for my blog, which has been neglected and forlorn of late… I am thinking this one will go better…

So I will be posting some stats on here later, but just had to get something on.

BTW, it is such a BEAUTIFUL day here in Beaufort, high of 78, clear.. Why am I in the office?!?!?

I did manage to find a new dirt road and maybe a cool little camping place for my kids and I on an island that has a new causeway to it… no, I’m not telling you where.  Just hope it’s not in the impact area for the rifle range… better check that!

Works of art I’ll never forget, part 37: standing on the terrace of London’s  Hayward Gallery, looking at the skyline and discovering 31 man-sized figures, placed on top of buildings in the near and far distance (pictures: here). I’ve since become intrigued by the work of British sculptor Antony Gormley. He is showing recent work at gallery Xavier Hufkens, Brussels. Don’t miss this opportunity to discover one of Britain’s most renowned artists.

Antony Gormley (59) certainly isn’t an artist’s artist. You want proof? Check out the live-stream for his project One & Other (click here): until 14 October people are allowed to spend an hour alone on the empty fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square; day and night. Every hour, 24 hours a day, for 100 days without a break. More than 34.000 people applied for the 2.400 places.

People from Belgium may know Gormley (who was awarded the Turner Prize in ‘94) for Another place: the iron statues he put on the beaches of De Panne, during Beaufort in 2003. And theatre go-ers might have seen his wooden boxes for the wonderful collaboration between Belgian choreographer Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui and Chinese Shaolin Monks from Henan, in Sutra. Right now he’s working on a huge project for the Dutch city of Lelystad, Exposure.

The human body is what Gormley focuses on, as anyone who’s going to Xavier Hufkens will notice. Most of the time he makes moulds of his own body and uses those for his sculptures. ‘I’ve never been interested in making statues. But I have been interested in asking what is the nature of the space a human being inhabits. What I try to show is the space where the body was; not to represent the body itself.’ (The Guardian, 2005)

The relationship between sculpture and space, that’s what Gormley is interested in. Bear that in mind, when you go to Xavier Hufkens. Upon entering, you’ll find the big room filled with a stainless steel construction, and you’ll be wondering: where’s the human body? What you have to know is that the space left open between all these sticks ís that of a human figure (ten times life size).

I was most impressed by one of his more recent, not yet titled works: a human figure laying on the ground (yes: it’s the figure cut out of Firmament III), inspired by Gormley’s recent experiments with bubbles, foams and polyhedra. Being alone with it, you feel that it’s doing something to your sense of space. I had the same strange feeling, upstairs, in the presence of Aperture, a man of steel, looking as if he could vanish in thin air at any moment. It reminded me of another Gormley-quote: ‘I think of (Jackson) Pollock as being the artist who managed, in the great works, to leave behind the need to make a symbol or an image. What he was left with was about energy and space and just being. And that’s what I’m trying to do, in a clumsy way.’  (The Sunday Times, 2008)

Of course, it’s a gallery show, which means there aren’t thát many works on display. But on the other hand: it’s for free. So do go and discover Antony Gormley. The gallery is open Tuesday to Saturday, noon to 6 PM (info here). Last day: 22 October.

For my exclusive interview with Antony Gormley on the subject of beauty, click here.

(credits: Antony Gormley, SET (2009), Aperture (2009), courtesy Xavier Hufkens)

Along the waterfront in Beaufort, NC…

Some people have asked why I don’t post some previously published work.  I couldn’t think of a real reason not to, other than the fear of seeming horribly self-indulgent.  But perhaps there’s room for some old stuff on here. I was lucky enough to have a column called “According to Mike” in the fine entertainment newspaper, “Lowcountry Weekly,” during the late 1990’s. The following column came out during the winter of 1998. I’ve kept the local references although they will mean little to most of you. Beaufort, SC was a fine place to call home for awhile.

********************************************************************

It is the middle of December and we’re still in shorts and flip-flops.  The pace is slow, the sky is clear, the snow is somewhere else.  This is why we’re here.

       We are fortunate to live in a region where the seasons cruise into each other with the grace and urgency of a Waffle House waitress.  Some places lure you with ski slopes and changing leaves: the Lowcountry specializes in the extended summer.

       With this lingering pleasant weather, you can’t help but notice all the boating activity.  From Charleston, Folly Beach, James Island, and all the rivers big and small that divide the land, everyone is out on the water.  Some are cruising, some are smuggling, some are lost—but most are fishing.

      There are a lot of big-money boats out there on the water.  Floating Winnebegos with complex trawling and rigging equipment, double Evinrude engines that could propel an oil tanker, stocked wet bars, bean-sprout pitas, air-conditioned cabins and crews with matching golf shirts and docksides. These vessels are usually tied up at the fancier marinas, freshly scrubbed in the sunshine, with faint whispers of Buffett and blenders and convivial small talk drifting out to the envious fellow-boaters and tourists who gawk along the dock.  

       Last Father’s Day, I joined my dad, grandfather and uncle on a charter-fishing trip out of Hilton Head on a similarly well-equipped boat.  It was reasonably priced and the captain was knowledgeable and friendly enough, but it felt like maritime grade school.  The captain not only drove the boat, he also caught the bait, found the spot, hooked the lines, cast the poles and offered condescending directions on how to appropriately reel in the fish that he had actually caught.  But we played along and posed with our trophy fish and enjoyed the cheesy spectacle that we had become.  We also left with three coolers of mackerel fillets, which was the whole idea anyway. 

       Though there’s nothing like fishing out on the open ocean, the intracoastal waterways encourage a different kind of fisherman.  Drive by any public boat ramp in the Lowcountry on a warm winter morning and notice the trucks parked with their empty boat trailers.  These are the people I appreciate the most.  The guys who take their boat from the front yard, stop by the Texaco for coffee and powdered doughnuts and beer, back that sucker straight into the water, and head out in search of fish. 

      Realistically, your supplies list needn’t be very long or detailed for a good day of fishing. 15’ of buoyant watercraft, some bait, a few hooks, a pole and faith that some mysterious aquatic creature will go along with the plan. No escape from the elements, whatever the elements may be. Direct cancer-causing sunshine or full downpour, you deal with it.  There’s no posh cabin to hole up in, not even a flimsy tarpaulin on rods to duck under. No pampering, no comfort, no radio? No distractions.

        There’s a casual de-evolution thing that happens when you board a small fishing vessel; you drop several levels on the civilization scale and have permission to behave like someone else. Where you jettison all the good manners you practice on a daily basis and reinvent yourself for the afternoon. The someone else you become can be gross and dirty and altogether unrefined. The new-you can mayonnaise his sandwich with the same knife that was just used to gut baitfish and was cleaned by a quick submersion in the ocean and dried off with the oil-rag.   He can eat said sandwich with his grimy barefeet propped up beside the cutting board where fish parts and blood and fecal goo bake in the sun.  He can stare at that carnage while he eats, without a stir of nausea or guilt, and flick random fish scales from his bread and take another bite. He can belch aloud while peeing off the side of the boat, and not say “excuse me” for either action. 

       It takes you back to when early men survived on Cheetohs, bologna, RC Cola and secret caches of warm bottom-shelf liquor.  You can be burly and barbaric like Spencer Tracy in The Old Man and the Sea and get medieval on mute, unassuming fish. It’s beautiful and liberating and makes for a glorious day off.

       Besides, what better way to test your survival skills as a possible technological doomsday approaches? [Note: Pre-Y2K] Next time you’re out on the water, play the Subsistence Fishing Game: no matter how ugly or small or previously unidentified the fish, if you hook it, you have to take it home and eat it.  Moreover, if you catch NO fish, you have to eat the bait.  Squid-ka-bobs and Menhaden-head Marinara will surely be a welcome change for holiday get-togethers.

        So all you people who cut work or school to fish, I applaud you.  You are unshaven and smelly and probably doing something illegal, but we love you.  You are the heart and soul of this spit of land we call home. Most of all, you provide picturesque images as we look down at you while crossing the bridge to the drudgery of our own jobs and the domestication of our own lives. We all hope something’s biting.