Because it’s Christmas and I’m out celebrating with my family and friends and Zelda is lying in her bed because she’s really ill we’re gonna featuring only posts where we don’t have to write as much as usual. Yep, we’re being lazy. But nevertheless we bring you your daily dose of HTD-laughs. Today we present you Alex, the amazing guy that reads Twilight and then makes YouTube videos about it. When I stumbled across him for the first time I laughed so hard I fell off my bed (true story!). I can totally imagine him sitting there with at least eight different highlighters, taking notes and stuff, cause he does not miss one tiny little thing. All the awkward passages Stephenie Meyer (Happy Birthday btw!) wrote but you never thought about twice because you were so absorbed with all the Edward hotness. And trust me, there are indeed a lot of strange things written down in that book… I read the books about four times and I still like them. But I also gotta say that I think Alex is not only hilarious, he’s also right. With everything he says in his awesome reviews.

Wanna know what he says about chapters one and two? Here we go:

Isn’t he great? I so hope he gets to Breaking dawn one day. Cause I can’t wait to hear what he thinks about that one…^^

So what is your favorite part of “Alex reads Twilight”? Did you notice any of those things during your first read? Do you think he’s hilarious? And right? Let us know by writing a comment or an e-mail!

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Off to check if Zelda’s still alive

Saveyoursoul

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(videos: YouTube)

Here’s an opportunity for you to share what you learned from Twilight. Just send us your take-away from the series, what God taught you, and if yours is our favorite, you’ll win a copy of The Twilight Phenomenon, a Christian commentary on the Twilight saga, by Destiny Image author Kurt Bruner.

Isabella Swan’s move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Bella’s life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Bella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife—between desire and danger.Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite.

“Shoot,” I muttered when the paper sliced my finger; I pulled it out to examine the damage. A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut. It all happened very quickly then. Edward threw himself at me, flinging me back across the table… I tumbled down to the floor by the piano, with my arms thrown out instinctively to catch my fall, into the jagged shards of glass. I felt the searing, stinging pain that ran from my wrist to the crease inside my elbow. Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm-into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.

Legions of readers entranced by Twilight are hungry for more and they won’t be disappointed. In New Moon, Stephenie Meyer delivers another irresistible combination of romance and suspense with a supernatural twist. The “star-crossed” lovers theme continues as Bella and Edward find themselves facing new obstacles, including a devastating separation, the mysterious appearance of dangerous wolves roaming the forest in Forks, a terrifying threat of revenge from a female vampire and a deliciously sinister encounter with Italy’s reigning royal family of vampires, the Volturi. Passionate, riveting, and full of surprising twists and turns, this vampire love saga is well on its way to literary immortality.

A suggestion you shall be ever get a paper cut with vampires around.

Readers captivated by Twilight and New Moon will eagerly devour Eclipse, the much anticipated third book in Stephenie Meyer’s riveting vampire love saga. As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob — knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?

Download : Eclipse

When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?

To be irrevocably in love with a vampire is both fantasy and nightmare woven into a dangerously heightened reality for Bella Swan. Pulled in one direction by her intense passion for Edward Cullen, and in another by her profound connection to werewolf Jacob Black, a tumultuous year of temptation, loss, and strife have led her to the ultimate turning point. Her imminent choice to either join the dark but seductive world of immortals or to pursue a fully human life has become the thread from which the fates of two tribes hangs.

Now that Bella has made her decision, a startling chain of unprecedented events is about to unfold with potentially devastating, and unfathomable, consequences. Just when the frayed strands of Bella’s life—first discovered in Twilight, then scattered and torn in New Moon and Eclipse—seem ready to heal and knit together, could they be destroyed… forever?

The astonishing, breathlessly anticipated conclusion to the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn illuminates the secrets and mysteries of this spellbinding romantic epic that has entranced millions.

Download : Breaking Dawn

Best Christmas EVER!!!!!!!

Have yourself a Twilighty Christmas

and a

Happy New Moony Year!!!

Starting December 27th, we’ll be posting insights from New Moon. I’m really excited, because this book spoke to me so much. “Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget,” is something I understand well.

For now, enjoy this great fanmade poster (it’s one of the best I’ve found).

Edward wishes you a merry Christmas

Yep, I said this post is about nonsense. Cause I guess it might be considered nonsense to spend your time photoshopping Santa hats on basically every Twilight character… Whatevs, I don’t care, cause it was fun! But honestly, have you ever asked yourself how the wolfpack celebrates? Or the Cullens? Yeah, I know it is Christmas in Breaking Dawn, but they wait for the Volturi to arrive so that hardly counts as a typical Cullen Christmas… Well, Zelda and I had a little ICQ conversation yesterday evening about all our favorite / not so favorite Twi-characters. Basically because I wanted to post the pictures so bad but didn’t really know what to write about. But just like everything we do together it ended up being hilarious. And of course, because we’re awesome like that, we’re gonna share everything with you!

The wolfpack wishes you a merry Christmas

The wolfpack: All the wolf-guys (I’m not writing their names here, cause I always forget one and then can’t remember who it is and then get annoyed… sorry) and Billy and Sue Clearwater with our Ladies-man Charlie all celebrate at Emily’s. And because Emily is simply amazing she does it Mama Soul style, starts two days early and in the end manages to somehow get at least two tons of super delicious food onto the dinner table without breaking it. And you know she’ll need it cause Sam, Jacob, Paul and the rest love to eat her food! They’ll make wolf-jokes the whole evening long and that’s where Charlie starts to feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. And because he remembers that one time Jacob got naked in front of him and then phased very clearly, he bought new underwear for all of them. To prevent himself from getting a Harry Clearwater heart-attack if he should ever see a bunch of naked Indian boys running through the woods while he’s on his Chief Swan duty. Yes, Charlie’s awesome like that!

The Cullens wish you a merry Christmas

The Cullens: Alice will become the Christmas nazi (fake prize for the first one who knows where that one’s from) and force everyone to help decorating the house aka putting up lights and candles and huge Christmas trees in every free spot in the whole Cullen mansion. They’ll have a huge mountain lion for dinner at Esme’s favorite table. Rosalie will be the Christmas bitch handing everyone’s present over with the words “Alice picked it out”. And Bella will just be her whiny annoying self muttering nd complaining about the snow and the weather and the celebration… cause honestly, this girl hates parties… and sometimes (okay, most of the time) annoys the shit out of me.

Our Christmas guest Jacob aka Taylor Lautner and his abs wish you a very merry Christmas

That’s probably the reason why Edward will spend Christmas here with me at Mama Souls. And because he’s so damn polite he’ll eat everything she serves without complaining once. And then he’ll taste Zelda’s self-made mousse au chocolate. And because he’s awesome and loves us he’ll bring Jacob over a bit as well. And then it’s a real party ifyouknowwhatimean!

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Wanna see the one where Zelda and I are wearing Santa hats? Cause yes, I made that one as well… and I’ll show you tomorrow, promise! Oh, and before I forget, I know we can’t compete with Taylor’s abs but we wish you a very merry Christmas as well! And that everyone gets a Edward action figure or a lifesized Jacob cut-out plus everything else on your wish list for Christmas!

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Off to celebrate and kwop kilawtley everyone (cause yes, we love all of our readers… or whatever else it is that Jacob says… )

Saveyoursoul

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How do you think the Edward, Jacob and Co. would celebrate Christmas? Anything we forgot? Anything Twi-related on your wish list? Let us know in the comments or via e-mail! Oh, and have you seen our fantabulous Kwop Kilawtley Contest? Go and participate NOW! Thanks!

(images: google; Santa hats: me)

Well, it’s cold outside where we are, at least! And it’s also (for some reason) cold outside where Bella and Edward are, too, in Chapter 22 (“Fire and Ice”), despite the fact that it’s May or June, and they live in the northern hemisphere… yeeeaaaahhh.

Anyways, we’ve got Chapter 22 up for you. So go read!

And look out for at least one more before the Christmas holiday, as our little gift to you!

“I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know. I want you to tell me that you’re disgusted with me and that you’re going to so that I can beg and grovel on my knees for you to stay. At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve it.”

Direct quotes from one of the Twilight books. This is our main character and narrator talking to the man who is supposed to love her, an whom we are told she loves.

Oh my word on a stick. And SMayer dares to say that she writes strong characters and that Bella is a good role model.

Yeuch!

I have gone back & forth on whether or not I think that the star or the intensely popular series Twilight Bella Swan is a bad role-model for the young girls that love the occult-romance story. I have been annoyed that Bella is recurrently the one who needs protecting & supervision, but as the story goes on Bella does begin to show much frustration in being the fragile human who always needs shielding.

Also, as expressed in this post on The F-Word, Bella repeatedly shows a disinterest in eating & is frequently too upset to eat.
She is also from my observation very down you could say on being human.
She often expresses annoyance by having to perform such basic human tasks, while idolising the restraint & flawless beauty of the vampire family the Cullens. While this is not an attitude that many of us should try to imitate, I believe that Bella is someone who can be identified with on multiple levels.
I can fully understand  the desire to not be so bogged down by what seem like such trivial human obligations, mortality is very frightening to Bella.
This I understand 100%, and I think that if Bella were an outgoing, self-confident, self-loving teenage girl I doubt anyone would be as compelled by the books.
Yes, Bella’s self-shaming irritates me, my own self-shaming is just as irritating. But I feel more connected to a dysfunctional character than I do an emotionally stable one.

For those who are familiar with the books as I am, I prefer Jacob Black to Edward Cullen very much. Jacob is very expressive, outspoken, fun, warm & very much engaged with himself.
And while the vampire side is much about self-sacrificing in reference to living off an “animal diet”, the werewolf side of the spectrum is very much about being in union with one’s self, one’s Earthly surroundings & the rest of the “pack.”

It is a very common scene though, Bella feels so inferior in contrast with the vampire Cullens & even amongst the werewolf Jacob & his supernatural abilities.

I understand why people criticize this series, but it is written from Bella’s perspective & I don’t believe that Stephenie Meyer is intending to make women seem this way, only that Bella is as human as they come in her continuing quest to be immortal.

“Once [a vampire] tastes the blood, or even smells it for that matter, it becomes very hard to keep from feeding. Sometimes impossible.” Alice, Twilight - Chapter 20.

“He bit her.” Carlisle’s voice was no longer calm, it was appalled.
I heard Edward catch his breath in horror.
“Edward, you have to do it.” It was Alice’s voice, close by my head. Cool fingers brushed at the wetness in my eyes.
“No!” he bellowed.
“See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean.” [Carlisle said.]
“Carlisle, I…” Edward hesitated. “I don’t know if I can do that.” There was agony in his beautiful voice again.
I writhed in the grip of the fiery torture, the movement making the pain in my leg flare sickeningly.
Edward’s face was drawn. I watched his eyes as the doubt was suddenly replaced with a blazing determination. His jaw tightened. I felt his cool, strong fingers on my burning hand, locking it in place. Then his head bent over it, and his cold lips pressed against my skin.
At first the pain was worse. I screamed and thrashed against the cool hands that held me back. I heard Alice’s voice, trying to calm me. …
Then slowly, my writhing calmed as my hand grew more and more numb. The fire was dulling, focusing into an ever-smaller point. …
I sighed contentedly. The fire was gone, the other pains dulled by a sleepiness seeping through my body.
“Is it all out?” Carlisle asked from somewhere far away.
“Her blood tastes clean,” Edward said quietly….
My eyes opened to a bright, white light. I was in an unfamiliar room, a white room. …There was an annoying beeping sound somewhere closeby. I hoped that meant I was still alive. Death shouldn’t be this uncomfortable.
“How bad am I?” [I asked.]
“You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you’ve lost a lot of blood….”
“How did you do it?” I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once.
“I’m not sure.”
He sighed without returning my gaze. “It was impossible…to stop,” he whispered. “Impossible. But I did.”
He looked up finally, with half a smile. “I must love you.”
Twilight – Chapters 23  & 24

The entire book up to this point has been a struggle for Edward. Despite his powerful desire to drink her blood, he’s denied his lust and has grown to love Bella – a frail, mortal human, to the point that he cannot live without her. After James bites her, the venom begins to flow painfully through her veins and she will either become a vampire (which Edward doesn’t want), or Edward must suck the venom from the wound to hopefully spare her human life. He’s now confronted with the situation of having to use his greatest weakness to save her. Edward is terrified. Will he be able to look his vampire nature in the eyes and walk away? Or will he succumb and kill his beloved? He is offered “his personal brand of heroin,” his greatest temptation…

And he prevails. He overcomes. He loves her too much to not stop. He loves her too much to not do the impossible. God is love, and love is the most powerful link between the natural and supernatural world; the link between what is possible and what is impossible. This is the very reason behind why “with God, all things are possible,” (Mark 10:27 Luke 1:37). This is why walking in love is so essential. Without it we cannot know God, and we don’t have what He purchased for us. So love really does conquer all…I had always thought that statement was bogus, but I learned I was wrong. Love (God) is the most powerful force in the universe, and with it/Him, all things are possible. Make the decision to grow in love.

“Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?
Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss.”
- Christopher Marlowe in Doctor Faustus

It was the story that had  historical roots based on an event that occurred between 1194-1184 BC. Legend has it, three goddesses quarreled over who was most beautiful and left this judgment to Paris, prince of Troy. After Hera bribed him with ruling all of Asia and Athena bribed him with fighting skills and the best warriors, Paris ultimately chose Aphrodite. She bribed him with the most beautiful woman on the planet: Helen, queen of Sparta. King Menelaus of Sparta, as possessive as he was, sought for the return of his wife. And thus, the tragic Trojan war began.

Helen returning with Menelaus. Photo Credit: About.com

About three thousand years later, the classic story of two men fighting for the love of one woman–a “trophy” woman–hasn’t changed…that much. Instead, it’s taken more mythical proportions. With the “Twilight” series, a vampire and a werewolf (actually, he was a shape shifter) fought for the love of Bella Swan, the “trophy.” It’s interesting that “Bella” is the Italian word for “beautiful.” But is Bella really that beautiful? I have to be very careful here. I wouldn’t want to get bitten by what I write.

You see, less than a week ago, I took on a perilous journey. I did what not many men have done before: I read the “Twilight” series. My fraternity brothers have asked me to turn in my man card and are prepared to throw me off the cliff of the Hills of Westwood. The women in my life believe that I am incredibly sensitive and courageous for even daring to read the books. And me? I wanted to understand women. I wanted to understand why they love this darn book so much. I didn’t understand why they would cry, why they would scratch, and why they would wait for days when the second movie came out. I’ve never read the books, but like most men, I knew to hate it. It was something that men had to do–had to hate the things of women because if we didn’t, we would be seen as weak. I guess it’s one of those men vs. women thing that we men are taught. Nevertheless, I wanted to understand women, and one way to understand them is by the stories they tell–stories women make for other women.

Yes, I know that Stephanie Meyers targeted this book to young teenage girls. That’s probably why I couldn’t stand the two books. It was so slow, so filled with relationships. So soap opera. So blah! I couldn’t bear reading the first chapter, let alone the entire series. But the last two books had something that men love: blood and guts. Perhaps that’s why I related so much to this half. There was a story of war, of strategy, and of chivalry. There were description about the thrill of the hunt, of working in a pack. These are things that men love, and perhaps this (at least in the perspective of one woman) is what women still desire in men despite feminist attempts. But that’s for a later post on masculinity in “Twilight.”

This post is about Bella Swan, the supposed heroine of the series. I said earlier that I had to be careful when talking about Bella and her beauty. You see, after reading pages after pages of how Edward (the vampire) was beautiful, how he should be a model, how he looked like he was cut from marble, and how he was like a Greek god, and how Jacob (the werewolf/shape shifter) was 6′7″, copper skin, huge, and muscular, I still had no idea what Bella looked like. I didn’t know whether she was a “Helen,” whether she had the “face that launched a thousand ships.” I know, you think I’m shallow, but I’m looking at it through a guy’s perspective. Two guys wouldn’t fight for her if the woman wasn’t beautiful in their eyes. Sorry, it just had to be said, but I compromised by saying “in their eyes.” Beauty is relative, right? Maybe. All I knew of Bella is fair skinned and has brown hair and eyes, that she’s a child of divorced parents, that her birthday is some time in September, and that she’s 5′4″. I later learned there’s a reason for her lack of description. Meyers left the description vague because she wanted it to be easier for girls to insert themselves as Bella.  So if girls are supposed to walk in Bella’s shoes, then perhaps Bella is the heroine of the story, a far cry from damsel in distress, right? Hmm…

The Cullens with Bella. Photo Credit Twilight Review

There have been many articles criticizing Meyers for being anti-feminist by how Meyers writes Bella’s. I’ll admit, Bella seems to enjoy the kitchen, doing all the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry for her town head sheriff father, Charlie. But surely, if she enjoys it, it isn’t a bad thing, right? I can hear the women in my life groan in unison. Come on Gio, we’re heading to 2010, NOT 1910. I think she’s more melodramatic than real-life teenage girls. So should girls really look up to this fictional character or admire what she does?

I’ve gotten a lot of No’s. It seems that many guys and some girls just hate her. Just Google “Reasons to hate Bella” or “I hate Bella” and you’ll see why this post is titled the way it is. And I for one have never wanted to slap a girl until I read about Bella. If she was a real girl, I’d probably slap her a couple times for her own good. If girls like to think they are her, then there’s a lot of girls I need to slap some sense into. I fear for the youth of this world, especially if they start acting out. Here’s my reason:

10. She doesn’t pay any attention to her friends. Being the new kid in school isn’t easy. But here, she’s surrounded by a circle of friends who actually give her the time of day and who actually like her

9. She almost dies several times, but doesn’t. She should just die–as in her character should never have seen the light of day. Okay, I’m not that sadistic. It would be better if she was able to redeem herself. All she does is complain and complain–”woe is me” crap. She puts herself in danger to get some kind of high. Leave that stuff to the daredevils.

8. She’s in love with a killer. Yes, that’s what vampires do…kill. You’re just asking for it. See #6.

7. She’s so selfish. She puts other people’s lives in danger. She doesn’t think about how her relationship affects the people who love her. See #6.

6. She kept a life-threatening secret from her dad. I know, I know, I sound like a parent. Teens keep secrets from their parents all the time. But this is life-threatening. Edward mentioned several times that he could kill her. She’s dating a guy who has the potential to kill her–who wants to kill her because her blood is so appetizing. You shouldn’t keep these kinds of secrets away from your parents. Especially, when the people that are associated with your boyfriend (i.e., all those other blood-thirsty vampires) can kill your parents.

5. She doesn’t have any life goals except just being with Edward. See #3 for more clarification. Your life shouldn’t revolve around another person. Take care of yourself first.

4. She pressures guys to have sex. This was an interesting gender-role reversal to me, and not that I’m applying that it should be guys who pressure girls to have sex. No one should pressure anyone to do anything they don’t want. But let me remind girls the power of saying “No.” If a guy doesn’t want to, quit tempting him. If you expect respect to go both ways, then do so. And, you’re a little too easy–you want it too much. That doesn’t say much about you as a character.

3. She can’t do anything without her Edward. She was depressed over a guy for almost half a year. That’s a good reason to slap some sense into someone. If you are that obsessed over a guy, you have issues. You couldn’t do anything without this guy. This girl is so clingy! You certainly do not find your identity in another guy. You need to know who you are first!

2. She uses guys. Not a big deal, right? Girls use guys all the time. We all know that she used Jacob. Clearly this is a guy who cares a lot about the girl, and all she does is lead him on. Guys hate being led on. Meyers writes it in a way as if it’s okay for girls to do this because Jacob just keeps coming back.

1. She’s so whiny! Come on Bella. You complain about the world so much. As the saying goes, “B*@&$ please!” Your life is not so bad. Even if you complain about being part of a divorced family, you’ve got two parents who love you a lot. That’s more than some people in this world.

Dear Youth of this World,

It’s okay to like the “Twilight” series. Just don’t think the real world should be like that. And certainly do not behave recklessly like Bella Swan. Perhaps that’s the only redeeming value of the character–that she is an example of what NOT to become. Your identity should not rest whole-heartedly on one-person. When that person dies or goes away, then who are you? You are your own person. You need to find your identity first before committing to a relationship.

I am thankful that Kristen Stewart did a tame version of Bella–maybe it’s because Stewart can’t act. I’m not fond of her. However, I’m glad that Stewart’s Bella isn’t as whiny as it is in the book. If she was whiny, I probably would’ve thrown popcorn and soda at the screen.

This public announcement best describes what I feel about Bella and young girls who want to be her.

It all started with this:

I kid you not, she named this image "Fragile's Os pic that I am forcing her to write muhahahahaha.png."

To: Fragile
From: Greta

Muhahahaha!! I have found an idea for you!! I even have supplied your inspiration!!

One Shot idea for you:
Edward’s blind, falls in love, blah blah blah … attatched is your inspiration (but you do it from EPOV…. HE CAN’T SEE!!! omg! Has it ever been done?)

Ok… ROLL WITH IT LOL!!

Yeah… I’m just trying to make ya work and YES! I know you have too much on your plate *grins and shows teeth and raises eyebrows… oh she’s so cute so you just drop everything and do it for her.

LMAO!! It was worth a try haha!

It’s still a pretty cool pic, huh?

I received this on my Crackberry while I was waiting in the parking lot of the local movie rental place for DH to pick out some nasty horror movie that I’d just ignore while I read fanfic.

I read the email and looked at the picture. In five minutes, I had the title and the entire plot in my head. That NEVER happens to me.

To: Greta
From: Fragile

Fuck me, that sounds like an awesome idea. If you’re serious, how ’bout you find me a song for it? Also, can you send me the link where you found that pic? Oh, and we are talking about E & B, right? It can be part of your Christmas present

Yeah, I don’t type too much when I’m sending from the Crackberry. That’s probably the longest email I’ve ever sent from it.

To: Fragile
From: Greta

OMFG!! Merry Christmas to me!!! LOVES IT!!

I’ll look for a song tonight   HEHE!! SweetNESS!!  and yes yes E and B

Oh, did I tell you that Greta is totally my fanfic music dealer? She’s constantly sending me songs, even for stories I haven’t started yet. I use a lot of them.

To: Greta
From: Fragile

I’m in the car waiting for DH to rent a movie so we can go to dinner. This is definitely much more enjoyable.

BTW, my idea is totally AH, and the title will be “The Beauty Within” (yes, I already have a title). Will you be terribly disappointed if it’s NOT rated M?

Okay, that’s all the info I’m giving you. Go find me a song

No, I’m not bossy, not at all *wink*

To: Fragile
From: Greta

LOL!! That’s totally if it’s not M rated!!  I don’t even cuss in my stories   So, that’s awesome!!!

Oww!! Likes the title!!

[She included two song choices, and, as usual, I picked the second one. And, because she loves Bush, they were both Bush songs.]

OWWW!! I am super excited!! OK!! Roll with it

The entire exchange took 43 minutes, and that included Greta finding the song for me.

When I first starting writing Breathe Me, I couldn’t find anyone to beta it. I wasn’t on Twitter much yet, and this blog was fairly new. I mentioned my story on another site, and Greta was kind enough to volunteer to be my beta. I was so happy, I almost cried.

Not only has Greta been the loveliest beta a girl could have, she is also a great friend. We laugh at how well we get along considering how different we appear to be to other people. But we’ve bonded over this crazy Twilight fandom, and I’d shank any bitch that messes with her

(Yeah, there’s a wink up there, but that’s just to be polite…I really would shank a bitch…)

So, wanna know about the story? Here’s the official summary:

Going to his brother Jasper’s company Christmas party, Edward hopes to spend time with the employee he’s admired from afar for months. Will his blindness keep her away, or will she find it allows him to see her in another way? AH/AU/OOC. Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice, Esme, Carlisle. Canon couples.

Here’s a little teaser:

I looked at the dark blur that was my mother, and I could hear my father’s heavy footsteps come into the room and stop behind her.

“Esme,” he said, “leave the boy be. He looks handsome, just like he always does.” I could hear the broad smile in his voice. “Jasper and Alice will be here soon, and you don’t want Edward to be late.”

“You’re right, Carlisle. He is a handsome devil.” She laughed her tiny laugh, which made me smile. “He’ll be beating back the ladies tonight.”

I blushed. There was only one lady’s attention I wanted, and she was sure to be there with some suitor or other. “Yeah, I’ll beat them back with my cane.”

My father’s heavy clap on my shoulder was reassuring. “That’s the spirit, son.”

Oh, and Greta’s 2nd song pick that I chose for the story? “40 Miles from the Sun” by Bush.

Thanks to my darling ITB co-author onepushyfox for beta-ing it for me, and thanks to Mrs. V for doing an extra little read for me!

Hope everyone likes the story, but, especially, I hope Greta likes it!

I’m posting it on Christmas Eve morning, a little after midnight my time. I’ll tweet the link once it’s up.

(Wanna know more about my lovely beta? Check out her About Me page. Oh, and I updated my page, too.)

Okay, one last time before Christmas it’s time for our funny Monday stuff! So without further adieu, here we go:

Oh yes, I can totally understand that. No one gives you a heart-attack like an unbelievably hot vampire does. Ask Harry Clearwater (RIP). He knows what I’m talking about…

Perfect! Who wants a toddler as a girlfriend anyways? Yeah, I know you don’t see her taht way… Not yet. So while you wait for her to get older and leave the nappies behind you could spend a little time with me. Right?

Uhm yeah Jackson, you look almost as hot and sparkly as Edward. Almost. In your dreams. Sorry to say…

Yep Kristen, he’s right. Don’t make your sourpuss face right now. It’s not your fault. It’s just the fact that no one pulls off the Ray Bans like Rob does. Probably some kind of natural talent he has. Together with looking damn hot while smoking (even for me and I’m a total non-smoker). And looking absolutely adorable with his untidy hair and misbuttoned shirts. And just being smokin’ hot no matter what he does. Just saying. So, no one rocks sunglasses like Rob does. Period.

Oh yes, you so got me there. Werewolves all the way! Damn they’re hot. Team Jacob! Team Paul! Well, not that I wouldn’t take some hot vamps as well though…

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Off to work one last time before Christmas

Saveyoursoul

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Have you already entered our Kwop kilawtley contest? NO? Why not? Did I mention you can win an amazing prize? So hop over and participate NOW! Cause it’s awesome. And funny. Just check it out and you’ll see!

(images: Polyvore)

I was watching E!’s show 10 Vampires We Love shortly after I came home from watching New Moon. The show was a countdown of the vampires that the people of E! like. I’ll include the list at the end of this post. Anyway, I have a bone to pick with who they chose to be on the list. I noticed that the list didn’t include, in my opinion, a variety of vampires, and the fact that all, except one, of the vampires are from movies or tv shows that came out within the last ten years. Anyway, what I mean by the lack of variety is that four of the vampires came from two different sources. I find it biased like how this post is. The reason that I have a problem is that they didn’t include other vampires like Henry Fitzpatrick from Blood Ties, Mick St. John from Moonlight or any of the vampires from the Vampire Chronicles or The Lost Boys. I don’t think it’s right to put a relatively unknown vampire like Santinico Pandemonium or Dracula from Dracula 2000 on a list like 10 Vampires We Love when there are better qualified vampires out there.

10. Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore
9. Ashley Greene as Alice Cullen
8. David Boreanaz as Angel
7. Stephen Moyer as Bill Compton
6. Selma Hayek as Santanico Pandemonium
5. Gerard Butler as Dracula in Dracula 2000
4. Wesley Snipes as Blade
3. Kate Beckinsale as Selene
2. Alexander Skarsgaard as Eric Northman
1. Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen

Hey all! Once again, sorry for the lack of updates recently. We’re doing our best! We’re going to try and finish up “Eclipse” as a holiday gift to both ourselves and all of you. … Joy to the world, eh?

For now, we have Chapter 21 up.

Look out for the next few to follow, just in time for Christmas!

Let Me Fall by Alexz Johnson – Twilight – Robert Pattinson – Kristen Stewart Pics

Lu2283 made a gorgeous fan tribute on youtube to the actors of Twilight.

I enjoyed making a bunch of videos this week on my Idea Girl Consulting You tube channel.

I’m a fan of music, movies and books, so I wanted to tell the world what I blog about in my videos.

It’s doing pretty good, getting lots of views and boosting traffic to my sites.

My idea of marketing myself as an author.