U made me smile all day long… it is merely a quote… Somehow, the magic is when we both can understand the same thing the same way… Hope this will be forever… I miss u… See u in Taj Mahal

PS: i forgot what was the first thing that i want to blog about u…im old…*sigh

PS2: I need more magicccc…. i.e a 27 degree temperature home in Manchester without the need of any gadget that requires gas to operate which gonna burn a hole in my pocket..

treading down the garden path ...

I treaded down the garden path, steps unsure, yet tingling with anticipation.  My senses delighted in the fragrant flowers and shrubs lining the path on both sides, a colourful assortment of lively lilies, soft violets, vibrant daisies and others whose names I did not know, in full bloom at the feet of flowering trees. I’d never been here before but my feet knew the path as if it was written on my heart in ink.  

My heart was beating an ecstatic rhythm; I could barely contain my excitement.  

I was going to meet him.  My beloved.  

Stepping through the opening of a large stone gate half-covered in ivy, I could see the trees part to reveal a grassy clearing.  My eyes yearned to see him, to finally be in the presence of the one I’ve heard so much about.  I felt like I knew him already, hearing glowing tales of his goodness, strength, and passion in storybooks and history books alike.  I had often repeated his name in my heart like a mantra, whispered his name in secret, dripping like a sweet wine from my lips.  

I was going to appear before him, uncover the mystery I had for years been yearning to discover for myself.

Though I did yet not see him in the clearing, I could feel him in the soft swell of wind, I could hear his song in the faint melody of an orchestra playing somewhere unseen.  The chords of music were ones I had heard in my sweetest dreams, the low rich tones of cellos and the birdlike ethereal quality of a dozen singing violins.  I scarcely knew how to proceed, seeing in the clearing before me a banquet table draped with plush purple fabrics — my favourite colour — and tastefully decorated with gleaming glasses containing freshly-cut white daisies — my favourite flower.  Two places were set with crystal bowls containing miniature cupcakes and chilled green tea ice cream and tall wineglasses brimming with sparkling white wine.  Above my head, a banner of twinkling fairy lights adorned the trees and my heart fluttered as bold monarch butterflies danced in the thicket.  

My excitement grew and grew.  He knew me.  He knew my simple tastes down to the tiniest detail.  I was anxious to see him, to see the face of the one that was already romancing my soul, hidden from view.

My eyes were drawn to the table where I saw my name written on a card.  Eagerly, I opened it and read the following instructions:

My love, I will appear soon.  Open the door and prepare yourself.

Before I could puzzle over the meaning of the simple message, I saw a door painted blue standing solitary among the trees.  Curious, I opened it.  What would be there, I wondered, that would help me prepare myself?  How would I dress for his arrival?  How would I look to this one rumoured of possessing a heartbreaking, breathtaking beauty?  I immediately felt unprepared for this encounter.  My imagination spun gossamer webs of flowing silk gowns, opal veils and delicate strings of pearls.  Of course, I thought, heart thumping wildly.  I would have to look perfect.  I would have to capture his love at first glance.

When I opened the door and stepped inside, it was not the tulle and chiffon bridal shop I had envisioned.  What I saw was a full-length mirror instead.  Inhaling deeply, I was consumed by the familiar sense of dread as I stood to face my reflection.  I could have cried.  I was about to meet the embodiment of perfection, the one of my dreams, and I could not have looked any more unworthy.  It just would not do. The harsh reminder of my physical flaws, so exaggerated and beastly in my eyes, and ordinary, ill-fitting street clothes was distressing in this anticipated meeting, which was thus far unfolding like a fairy tale.  In a moment of petulant anger, I kicked the mirror — hard — and shards of shattered glass sprinkled down to the grass.  

I waited.  I couldn’t feel his closeness, could feel nothing but my anger with myself and my unsatisfactory appearance.  The door behind me was locked and there was no way of getting back to the clearing, the beauty of which I didn’t feel I deserved.  I felt unlovely and unlovable, disappointed that it had all ended this way.  I was supposed to be a princess, clothed in splendour, resplendent, waiting to unite with my beloved.  He would not have me now, this man of infinite beauty.  I was ugly, soiled, unworthy … as broken as the chips of glass scattered at my feet.  Tears fell unguarded.  

It was in that state that he came to me in the smallest of whispers.

Beautiful, he said.

“No!” I cried.  ”You’ve made a mistake.  I’m not beautiful and you cannot see me like this.  This is not how it’s supposed to be.  It was supposed to be perfect … everything was perfect until you instructed me to open the door and prepare myself.  This isn’t right.  You cannot love this.”

I do, he said, the holiest of vows.  I love you.

“You can’t!” I argued.  ”I’m not perfect, I’m not beautiful, and I’m not ready to meet you this way.”

But I want you this way.  

“Why?”  I asked, incredulous.  ”It’s just … it’s just … not … good.”

I say that it is good, he said.

I flung a handful of glittering stars onto the tapestry of the night sky and said it was good.

I carved the highest mountains and lowest valleys with my hands and said it was good.

I hung the fiery sun and glowing moon into the balance of the universe and said it was good.

I breathed and the wind blew, I wept and the oceans surged from my eyes and said it was good.

I painted sunsets from burnished gold and opaline pinks with loving brushstrokes and said it was good.

I promised you a ribbon of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple after violent storms and said it was good.

I made for you this secret garden, a place for you and me alone from the intricate architecture of your heart’s desires.

 I thought of you long before all of this.  I wrote your name in my book, sketched your portrait, plotted out your life journey from conception to death.  With the same love and creative passion I gave to the sky, sun, moon, stars, sunsets, rainbows, oceans, and secret gardens, I created you.

And it is good.

It is beautiful.

I wanted to believe this, for the voice was slowly unraveling the barriers surrounding my heart.  

You may not believe me, he said, but that’s okay.  You may feel ugly and unlovable and flawed and imperfect, but that doesn’t change what is true.  I will never change, waver, or grow tired of your unbelief.  I will never stop loving you and calling you what you are, which is beautiful because you are mine.  My love is stronger than your deepest protestations, your greatest hurts, and the most convincing lies.  It is stronger than your most intelligent arguments, your darkest feelings, and your tainted ideals of beauty and perfection.  

I, who created and am the very embodiment of beauty, say you are Beautiful.

With these words, I was transported back to the clearing where he stood with his hand out, waiting patiently.  No words in any human language could convey the beauty I saw standing there before me.  If I could describe to you what I saw when I looked in his eyes, I would. But I can’t.

…

Still he waits, arms open.

Loving.

Beautiful. 

I had a really good weekend. Spent it in Davao, my fourth home which I love so much. What made this particular visit more memorable was the fact that my baby was all sorts of KSP, constantly texting me, asking where I was and what I was doing. So cute. When I told him I will call him later and four hours passed without him hearing from me, the poor baby was frantically texting me again (exaggeration, mine). So cute

We are in such a good place now. He calls me baby ko and sweetie ko. A girl can be so happy with just sweet endearments. He was also obviously seeking attention again because despite the fact that his phone has an alarm clock, he still asked me to wake him up after his nap. Sweet. And last night, he texted “gnite my sweetie”

Awwwwwwww…

A while back I scanned some of Bella’s awesome letters — tattle telling quandaries and Mom-and-Dad billet-douxs, mostly. In a scavenger hunt through Photobucket tonight, I rediscovered a few of those.

The urgent letter to the Principal of W.T. Hanes Elementary:

If I had to pick a favorite, the letter to Mrs. Blevins would probably be it. It’s got third-grade narcing, “panting,” and is signed with “love.” More importantly, this one demonstrates proper, early parenthetical usage, which makes this maternal word nerd’s heart swell times nine million. I remember scanning it, too, as I only had a few seconds to confiscate the note and replace it in order to avoid suspicion.

The Rick Perry Letter:

The Perry letter was read aloud in a faculty meeting. THEN it was read again at an ATPE function later in the week. I’m tellin’ ya, the teachers really dug this one. I’ll never forget when Bella emerged from her room with her pen and notebook paper, wanting to know what Rick Perry’s address was. He never wrote back, but The Bell wasn’t worried about it. She told me, “Mom, didn’t you see the fake email address I put down there at the bottom? I didn’t want to hear his song and dance, but I didn’t wanna be rude either.”

I was confused, “Wait, huh?”

“Mom, it was a decoder email address. He wasn’t going to tell me anything I haven’t already heard before. Politicians. You know what I mean.”

“I think you mean a ‘decoy’, Bella.”

“Yes, that.”

Great.

The Colorado Vacation Letter:

If I could spend just a few minutes with Bella again at any previous age, this would be the phase I’d revisit. She missed me “so much.” With an exclamation point, even. She wanted to know if Getoff’s baby was born yet, but, in typical Isobel fashion, didn’t want anyone to write back because she was belting out this letter on her way home in Nana’s rental car. The best part: a post script full of danger sure to freak out any mom included “…real prisoners and a dust devil and a cattle drive!”

The Birthday Card for Her Dad:

It wasn’t so much the birthday card as it was the backstory. Inside the envelope, she’d enclosed a dollar and forty-seven cents. It was all of her money at the time. She’d overheard us arguing about bills.

Sometimes people with newborns ask me what my favorite age has been of Bella’s. Truly, I have loved them all just a much as they’ve each been challenging in their own ways. When I see her these days trying so hard to be a teenager, but without the teen suffix just yet, I feel incredibly close to her even though she’s pushing me further and further away. Recently, I read a fantastic quote in Mary Pipher’s book about adolescent girls Bella’s age, Reviving Ophelia, in which a mother perfectly sums up every thought in my head at this point:

“I hurl you into the universe and pray.”

The clever, young girl who wrote these letters surely deserves an addendum to the above quote, though, and that makes me less nervous, if nothing else:

“I hurl you into the universe and pray — for others.“

I love, love, love this child forever.

Bismillaah

The Muslim believes that Allaah the Almighty has chosen some of His servants to be His devotees, making them act in obedience, and honoring them with His Love, and giving them of from His grace. He is their Supporter Who loves them and draws them nearer to Him. They are His devotees who love and revere Him. They do whatever He commands them and recommend others to do the same. They refrain from whatever He forbids and advise others to refrain from it. They love what He loves and hate what He hates. If they ask Him, He gives them. If they seek His aid, He aids them. If they seek refuge in Him, He grants them asylum. They are the men of piety and belief, dignity and good news in both this life and in the Hereafter. Each pious believer is one of the Awliya’ of Allah. They differ in only grades proportional to their belief and piety. The more one’s share of piety and belief, the higher his rank and dignity before Allaah. Those with the most grace are the Prophets and the Messengers of Allaah, then, the believers. The Muslim believes in all of the phenomenon and miracles that Allah causes to occur by their hands. Events such as the increase of otherwise little amounts of food, curing the diseased and the ill, crossing oceans (without navigational means), and fire that causes no harm etc. It is important to differentiate between Al-Karamah -the phenomenon (which is given to the devotee) and Al-Mu’jizah – the miracle (which is given to the Messenger). The miracle is accompanied by a challenge while the phenomenon is not. Among the greatest phenomenon is abiding in obedience by doing what is commanded in the Shari’ah and staying away from what is prohibited.

Textual Proofs
1. The statements of Allah the Almighty such as:
“No doubt! Verily, the Awliya’ of Allah, no fear shall come upon them nor shall they grieve. Those who believed, and used to fear Allah much (by abstaining from evil deeds and sins and by doing righteous deeds). For them are glad tidings, in the life of the present world, and in the Hereafter. No change can there be in the Words of Allah. This is indeed the supreme success.” (Quraan 10:62-64)

And:

“Every time Zakariyya entered Al-Mihrab (a place to pray) to (visit) her, he found her supplied with sustenance. He said: ‘0 Maryam! From where have you gotten this?’ She said, ‘This is from Allah.’” (Quran 3:37)

And:

“Allah is the Wall (Protector) of those who believe. He brings them out from darkness into light.” (Quraan 2:257)

And:

“And they are not its (Al-Masjid Al-Haram’s) guardians? None can be its guardians except the pious.” (Quran 8:34)

And:

“Verily, Yunus was one of the Messengers. When he ran to the laden ship. Then he (agreed to) cast lots, and he was among the losers. Then a (big) fish swallowed him as he had done an act worthy of blame. Had he not been of them who glorify Allah, He would have indeed remained inside its belly (the fish) until the Day of Resurrection .” (Quraan 37:139-144)

And:

“Verily, my Wali (Protector) is Allaah Who has revealed the Book (the Qur’an), and He protects the righteous.” (Quran 7:196)

And:

“Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and immorality. Surely, he was one of Our chosen (guided) servants.” (Quraan 12:24)

And:

“Certainly, you shall have no authority over My servants.” (Quran 15:42)

And:

“Every time Zakariyya entered Al-Mihrab (a place to pray) to (visit) her, he found her supplied with sustenance. He said: ‘0 Maryam! From where have you gotten this?’ She said, “This is from Allah.”(Quraan 3:37)

And:

“Verily, Yunus was one of the Messengers. When he ran to the laden ship. Then he (agreed to) cast lots, and he was among the losers. Then a (big) fish swallowed him as he had done an act worthy of blame. Had he not been of them who glorify Allah, He would have indeed remained inside its belly (the fish) until the Day of Resurrection .” (Quran 37:139-144)

And:

“Then cried unto her from below her, saying: ‘Grieve not: your Lord has provided a water stream under you. And shake the trunk of date palm towards you, it will let fall fresh ripe dates upon you. So eat and drink and be glad.”(Quraan 19:24-26)

And:

“We (Allaah) said: ‘O fire! Be you coolness and safety for Ibrahim!’ And they wanted to harm him, but We made them the worst losers.” (Quran 21:69-70)

And:

“Do you think that people of the Cave and the Inscription (the news or the names of the people of the Cave) were a wonder among Our Signs? (Remember) when the young men fled for refuge (from their disbelieving folk) to the Cave. They said: ‘Our Lord! Bestow on us mercy from Yourself, and facilitate for us our affair in the right way!’ Therefore, We covered up their (sense of) hearing (causing them to go in deep sleep) in the Cave for a number of years. Then We raised them up (from their sleep) .” (Quraan 18:9-12)

2. Allaah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) informed about the Awliya’ of Allah and their grace, according to what he narrated from Allah:

“Whoever shows hostility to My Wali, I proclaim war against him. My servant does not draw near to Me by anything more beloved to Me than what I have made obligatory upon him. My servant continues to draw near to Me by the voluntary deeds, until I love Him. When I love him, I will be his hearing with which he hears, his sight with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his feet with which he walks. If he asks Me, I will surely give him. And if he seeks refuge in Me, I will surely give him refuge.” (Hadith Agreed upon)

And: “Indeed I rage for My Awliya’ as the lion rages in war.) Arid the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

(Indeed Allah has men, such that if one of them swears that a thing will be done, it will be done.” (Hadith Agreed upon with the wording “servants” instead of “men.”)

And:

“Among the nations before you there were Muhaddathun (people who were inspired, though they were not Prophets). And if there is any such a person among my followers, it would be ‘Umar” (Hadith Agreed upon)

In his (peace be upon him) saying:

“A woman was nursing her infant when she saw a man mounting a high horse, she said: ‘O Allah! Make my infant like that man.’ The infant looked at the man and said: ‘O Allah! Do not make me the like of him.’” (Hadith Agreed upon)

The statement of the infant was a miracle dignifying the infant and his parent. In his saying regarding Juraij the worshipper and his mother who said: “O Allah! Do not take away his soul unless and until he sees the prostitutes’ faces.”

Her prayer being against her son was miracle dignifying her. When Juraij was accused of being the father of the prostitute’s son, he said to the baby: “Who is your father?” The baby answered: “The shepherd.” (Hadith Al-Bukhari)

The statement of the baby was a miracle dignifying Juraij the worshipper.

He mentioned the three people that were trapped in the cave, petitioning Allah by their good deeds, so Allah opened the way for them and they escaped safely after petitioning Him by their good deeds. (Hadith Agreed upon)

In the Hadith about monk and the boy, the boy threw a stone killing the beast that was preventing the people from passing. Thus the people were able to pass. This also was a miracle showing the dignity of the boy. When the king tried to kill the boy, he could not. He threw him from the top of a high mountain, he did not die. Then he threw him in the sea but he emerged walking out of it. This also was a miracle dignifying the righteous boy. (Hadith Al-Bukhari)

3. Thousands of scholars and witnesses narrate the phenomenons of countless number of individuals.[1] Like the report that says that the angels used to shake hands with ‘Imran bin Husayn, may Allaah be pleased with him. That Salman Al-Farisi and Abu Ad-Darda’ were eating in a bowl. They hear the bowl or the food glorifying Allah. While Khubayb was a captive of the pagans in Makkah, he was seen eating grapes, while there were no grapes in Makkah.

Al-Bara’ bin ‘Azib, may Allaah be pleased with him, is one of those who if he swore (by Allah) that anything would be done, it was done. When it was the day of Qadisiyyah, he petitioned Allah that the Muslims overpower the polytheists and that he be the first martyr of the battle. It was thus.

‘Umar bin Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, was delivering the Friday sermon on the pulpit of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) in Al-Madinah, and behold! He was heard saying: “O Sariyah! The mountain!” He repeated it twice directing the leader of the army to a better position.

Sariyah, who was far from Al-Madinah heard the call and retreated to the mountain. The army was victorious. When Sariyah returned to Al-Madinah, he told ‘Umar and the Companions what he heard.

Al-’Ala’ Al-Hadrami, may Allaah be pleased with him, used to pray: “O All-Knower, All-Wise, the Most High, the Most Great!”His supplications were responded to. Once he crossed the sea with a troop yet the saddles of their horses did not get wet.

Al-Hassan Al-Basri prayed to Allaah against a man who used to hurt him; instantly, the man died.

The donkey of a man from Nakh’a died while he was traveling. The man performed Wudu’ (ablution), prayed two Rak’ahs and called upon Allah. And behold! Allaah resurrected his donkey for him and the man carried his luggage on it. There are countless cases of phenomenons witnessed by thousands, even millions of people.

—————————————————————————­—–

The Awliya’ (Friends) of Shaytan (Satan)
by Shaykh Abû Bakr Jâbir al-Jaza’iry

—————————————————————————­—–

The Muslim believes that Shaytan has evil companions that are overpowered by him and consequently forget about their Lord. He seduced them to evil, encouraging them to falsehood, deafening them from hearing the truth, blinding them from seeing the proofs, so that they are subordinate to him, obeying his commands. He misled them to mischief by making it attractive to them, until they consider evil to be good and good to be bad. Thus, they became enemies and opponents to the Awliya’ of Allah, and warriors against them. The Awliya’ of Allah take Allah the Almighty as their Supporter, while the Awliya’ of Shaytan chose to be the opponents of Allah. The Awliya’ of Allah love Him and strive hard to please Him, while the Awliya’ of Shaytan strive to displease Allah. May the curse and anger of Allah befall them. Nevertheless, amazing feats may occur by their hands, such as; flying in the sky, or walking on water. Such feats are merely a means by which Allah facilitates the downfall of His enemies, or some form of assistance by Shaytan for his supporter. The following are some evidences for this topic:

1. The statements of Allah the Almighty, such as:

“But as for those who disbelieve, their Awliya’ (supporters and helpers) are false deities, they bring them out from light into darkness. Those are the dwellers of the Fire, and they will abide therein forever .” (Quran 2:257)

And:

“And certainly, the Shayatin (devils) do inspire their friends (from mankind) to dispute with you, and if you obey them, then you would indeed be polytheists .” (Quraan 6:121)

And:

“And on the Day when He will gather them (all) together (and say): “O you assembly of jinn! Many did you mislead of men,” and their Awliya’ (friends and helpers) amongst men will say: “Our Lord! We benefited one from the other, but now we have reached our appointed term which You did appoint for us.” He will say: “The Fire be your dwelling place, you will dwell therein forever, except as Allah may will.”" (Quraan 6:128)

“And whosoever turns away blindly from the remembrance of the Most Gracious (Allah), We appoint for him a Shaytan to be a companion to him. And verily, they (Satans) hinder them from the path (of Allah), but they think that they are guided aright!) (Quran 43:36-37)”

And:

“Verily, We made the Shayatin, Awliya’ (protectors) for those who believe not.” (Quran 7:27)

And:

“Surely, they took the Shayatin as Awliya’ instead of Allah, and think that they are guided.” (Quraan 7:30)

And:

“And We have assigned for them (devils) intimate companions (in this world), who have made fair-seeming to them, what was before them and what was behind them.” (Quran 41:25)

And:

“And (remember) when We said to the angels: “Prostrate yourselves unto Adam.” So they prostrated themselves except Iblis (Satan). He was one of the jinn; he disobeyed the command of his Lord. Will you then take him and his offspring as protectors and helpers rather than Me while they are enemies to you?” (Quraan 18:50)

2. The statements of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) such as: When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) saw a shooting star, he asked his Companions:

“What would you say about this in Jahiliyyah (the pre-Islamic era)?)”

“We used to say: This is a precursor of a great person’s birth or death.’”

They replied. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“If does not fall for the birth or the death of anyone. But when our Lord the Blessed and Most Exalted decrees a matter, the Throne bearers glorify Him, upon hearing them, the inhabitants of the heaven after them glorify Him, then those who come after them until it reaches this heaven. Then, the inhabitants of heaven ask the bearers of the Throne: ‘What did our Lord say?’ So the bearers of the Throne tell them. The inhabitants of every heaven inquire about the news until it reaches the inhabitants of the lower heaven. Then the devils snatch the news; thus, these are shot at them. Then, the devils cast the news to their companions. If the companions convey the news as it reached them, it would be right; but they add to it.” (Muslim, Ahmad and others)

When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was asked about the fortunetellers, he said: “They are nothing (they know nothing of the unseen).” They said: “What they tell us sometimes comes true.” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“The jinn snatches the right word then recites it into the ear of his ally. They add one hundred lies to it.” (Hadith Al-Bukhari)

He (peace be upon him) also said:

“There is none of you but he has an assigned companion.” (Hadith Muslim)

And:

“Shaytan circulates in the veins of the son of Adam like blood, so restrict its ducts by fasting.” (Hadith Agreed upon with different wording)

3. Hundreds of thousands of humans have witnessed strange Satanic circumstances surrounding the Awliya’ of Shaytan in every time and place. For some, Shaytan would bring him different types of food and drink, fulfill some sort of need he had, inform him of some secret matters of the unseen, or prevent the sword from penetrating him. For some, Shaytan comes to him in the form of a righteous man from whom he seeks some benefit. Then he changes, misleading him and bringing him to acts of Shirk and disobedience. Of them are those that are carried to a far away land, or delivered persons or things from distant places etc.

The real cause for such devilish actions are due to the wickedness of the human soul which results from his addiction to evil deeds, corruption, disbelief, and the acts of disobedience, until the human reaches a level of evil that unites him with the Satanic souls. Then the allegiance between himself and the devils is complete. They give information to each other, serving each other in any way possible. So on the Day of Judgment it will be said to them:

“O you assembly of jinn! Many did you mislead of men .” (Quraan 6:128)

The companions of the jinns will say:

“Our Lord! We benefited one from the other..” (Quran 6:128)

The difference between the phenomenon committed by the Awliya’ of Allah and devilish feats, is apparent by the behavior and condition of the one involved. He will be either a person of belief and piety who adheres to the Law of Allah, and this phenomenon is a means of honor from Allah. Or, he will be a wicked, evil, impious person, in which case it is a means of drawing himself or his Satanic helpers into their own destruction.

Extracted from “Minhaj al Muslim” published by Dar as Salam

Fragrant

Fragrant is the flower
you give
for my spirit to know.

Gentle is the caress
you have brought
to my heart.

Lovely the vision
as you walk
across the floor to me.

Melodic is the song
you have played
in my body tonight.

Sweet is the taste
you have left
on my tongue.

Genre: Novel

Year of Publication: 1987

It is the mid-1800s. At Sweet Home in Kentucky, an era is ending as slavery comes under attack from the abolitionists. For Sethe, Paul D. Halle and the others, the benign imprisonment of Sweet Home is destroyed. By the Nobel Prize-winning author of “Song of Solomon” and “Tar Baby”.

DOWNLOAD LINK

http://ifile.it/3vgxik7

*This is a continuation of my first imitation so you might want to read that first before reading this so it makes more sense.

Tom pulls Natalie from behind the dumpster saddened by the blisters on the lips he used to kiss. He pulls her sallow, bruised arms behind her and lightly clicks the cool, silver metal around her frail wrists. He puts his hand on her back as he leads her towards the flashing blue lights and feels a knot forming in his throat blocking his air.

“Daddy?” Natalie asks looking up into Tom’s eyes as if they are her father’s.

He protects her head as he gently guides her into the back of his cruiser.

“Daddy?” she asks desperately.

“How could I have let this happen?” he thinks as he catches her reflection in the rear view mirror. It seemed like yesterday they were watching her parents’ dancing, he envious of their love. He hoped as he watched them that he was seeing Natalie and his future. He had been working, bagging groceries, saving to buy her a ring. He wanted what her parents’ had. He thought he would have it with her.

He flips the blue lights off and drives through the darkening streets to his home. He takes off the cuffs. Natalie is passed out, no longer a threat. When he picks her up the softness of her neck catches him off guard; nothing but bare, undisturbed skin. He had kissed her there, on that soft, undisturbed skin, as he tried to convince her to leave her father’s birthday party with him. But she didn’t want to disappoint her father. Maybe things would have turned out differently.

He sets her down in his bed, removes her tattered clothes. He touches her blistered lips and watches them return to the smooth, fullness that he remembers. He touches the needle marks in the delicate curve of her arm and they disappear. As he touches each part of her body, her skin comes alive, no longer fading quickly from yellow to blue. It seems that he can save her, from the pain, from the outside world, from herself. He falls asleep next to her hopeful of his new future, of the life he has breathed into her with his touch, until he wakes up the next morning to an empty bed.

After shift, he comes to find her each night behind this dumpster, thrown out like yesterday’s trash. He touches her cold body, bringing it back from the darkness it had fallen into. When she opens her icy eyes she only calls out for her father. But he takes her to his home anyway, tries to salvage what has been lost, having faith that one day he will finally save her.

This short was for a class assignment. It is an attempt to imitate Toni Morrison’s Beloved with a little bit of Kundera’s Unbearable Lightness of Being.


the night
      and the moon
     and the light

I can almost see you.

the bread I bake for you
      your hair thick and soft
    and rich beneath my fingers

I can almost smell you.

the sand underfoot
       the sun melting us
    the sea caressing us

I can almost feel you in my arms.

“So You Think You Can Dance” gripped my heart tonight.  My eyes fixated on the screen.  I crumpled inside.  I ached with each debilitating, overwhelming act that pushed her to the ground. I re-lived the echo: you’re everything I think I need, you touched me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.  The chains came crushing down. Biting into my skin.  Reverberating lies instead of truth.  Yet, here I stand.  On the other side.  Set free. Not going back. I won’t back down. Throwing myself on my beloved.  Wrapping myself in Him.  Living here on my knees for Him.  He touches me for a little while, then I am strong.  He frees me from my chains.  And here I am, and I stand, so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.  Standing with Him, falling into His gravity.

ht: watch this: Addicted

I have decided to take the mature route in this relationship. Last night, my baby failed to check in on me. I had the option to get mad, get even or be the adult one in the relationship. I chose the latter. He texted this morning, told me his phone battery died so he couldnt say goodnight. I accepted everything in good faith, letting him off the hook. I feel its not worth fighting over.

Today, he seems to be back to his old self. Just now he texted, apologizing for being out on a client call. I dont get why he should apologize when he is doing his job in the first place. I find it weird but sweet at the same time. Let him tell me his whereabouts like a good boyfriend should

I like where we are. Nine more days before I see him again. I cant wait!

By Arif Kabir

Photo by Dev Null via Flickr

It is interesting that we mainly tend to venerate somebody only after that person has passed away. That is when the tears stream down, the words come out choked, and the hearts ache. Magnificent memorials are conducted, grand accolades are read, and heartfelt obituaries are written. Now, what if we were to express our gratitude and love to one before their death? Better yet, why not make the love for only the sake of Allah?

For example, let’s say you get married. If you love your wife only for her and for her beauty, then if she ever disappoints you, you are no longer infatuated. You are infuriated. However, if you love her for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and she disappoints you, you still love her because you aren’t expecting anything back from her, but only from your Lord. Thus, if she actually does return the favor, then you will be more prone to be thankful for that because it was an added bonus.

If you’re not in the practice of telling your beloved ones that you love them, then get into that practice. If you’re not in the practice of responding to somebody’s statement of love, then get into that practice:

Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man was with the Prophet (PBUH) when another man passed by and the former said: “O Messenger of Allah! I love this man (for Allah’s sake)”. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked, “Have you informed him?” He said, “No”. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) then said, “Tell him (that you love him)“. So he went up to the man and said to him, “I love you for the sake of Allah;” and the other replied, “May Allah, for Whose sake you love me, love you.”[Abu Dawud].

One of the amazing notes about the Hadith is that it doesn’t only encourage one to declare his love for someone (provided it’s Halal lol), but also on the proper etiquette on how to respond. Now, what is one of the best ways to exactly ’share the love’?

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “By Him in Whose Hand my soul is! You will not enter Jannah until you believe, and you shall not believe until you love one another. May I inform you of something, if you do, you love each other. Promote greeting amongst you (by saying Assalamu `Alaikum to one another)”. [Muslim]

Share the love. May Allah increase the love and brotherhood in the Ummah, make us among those that the Prophet said: “two men who love each other for Allaah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that” (Bukhari and Muslim), and reunite us with our beloved in Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen…

Note: the example given in the second paragraph was originally given by Imam Muhammad Faqih at a Halaqah in ICM.

(1) Vashi Karan Mantra(Use of Supari):— Supari (Used in betel) should be infused 108 times with this mantra. Whosoever is offered this supari and eats it, will be under your control. It is best to take sweet supari packets duly infused and kept with you for use. Mantra: “Om Dev namo Hrarye tha tha Swaha”

(2) Use of fruits:— The mantra shoud be recited ten thousand times to attain siddhi. After than take any good fruit and infuse it with mantra 108 times. Whosoever will take the fruit will remain under your control. Mantra: “Om Hareeng Mohini Swaha”

(3) Use of water:— Rise early in the morning and after your ablutions purify the water with 7 mantras and with the name of the person required to be brought under your control. Drink this water. Repeat for 21 days. The person concerned will be under your control. Mantra: “Om Chimi chimi Swaha” —-Note: This mantra too can be used to control the enemy. Procure 7 red chillies with branch. Light a fire. Recite the above mantra adding name of the enemy before the word “Swaha” and put one chilly in the fire. Repeat 7 times for 11 or 21 days. For enemy this should be started on Tuesday or Saturday.

(4)  Mohammadan mantra:—Mantra: “Eena etevena shetan meri shakal ban Amuk ke pas jana oose mere pass lana rahi to turi Bahan, par teen san tee talag” ——-Stand naked on the wrong side of the cot, take Gur in your hand and recite 121 times. Keep Gur under the cot and sleep during the night. In the morning, the Gur should be distributed among the boys. Replace the name of the lady in place of word Amuk in the mantra. The lady will approach within 7 days.

(5) To control husband:— Ladies can use this mantra to control their husbands who have gone astray, those who do not cooperate and are our of control. This mantra too can be used to control enemies, opponents, superiors and others. Mantra: “Om namo maharyakshaya Mam Pati me Vashya kuru kuru Swaha” —– Recite the mantra 108 times duly performing Homa. the articels used in such mantra must be infused with recitation 7 times with above mantra and given to the husband to eat to control him.

(6) Kam Gayatri Mantra: — This Kam gayatri mantra is most effective. Mantra: “Om Manohhavay Vidahe Kandpye demahi Tantra Kama Parchodyat” — Recite this mantra 1.25 lacs times to attain siddhi and to appease Kam Devta. After that use this mantra for any lady who will be infatuated and remain satisfied under your control.

(7) Kamakhya Vashikaran Mantra:— A most effective mantra . This mantra is be recited one lakh times for siddhi. Replace the name of the lady or person instead of word Amuk in mantra. Mantra: “Om Namo Kamakshi Devi Aamuki me Vansham Kuru Kuru Swaha” — After attaining siddhi of this mantra use any of the following methods and articels etc., which can be exorcised 108 times by the above mantra and the desired results are obtained.

(a) Take out dust from all nails of the hands, feet and nose on sunday. Exorcise and then give to lady or any person to eat in bettel leaf.

(b) Make a powder of Kakjanga, Kesar, Mausli and Tagar. Exorcise 108 times with above mantra. Preserve the powder and put on the forehead of the the lady or any person who will become in infatuated with you.

(c)Procure on sunday flowers, leaves root, trunk and branch of black datura tree or plant. Mix in them kesar, Camphor and Gorochan. Make a powder of all. Exorcise the same 108 times. Put Tilak on the forehead and go before the lady or any person, who will be subjected to Vashikaran.

We are back to our cute world. He was sweet last weekend and I finally told him I will be coming home for his birthday. My baby’s delighted! He’s making plans for us for next weekend already. That’s great news, if you ask me. I am glad we’re back to being okay. I dont like the dark cloud that hovered over us last week. He told me not to bring him any gifts. I told him I’ll just bring a kiss instead.

We said goodbye in high spirits. I cant wait to come home again. Ten days before I kiss my man again! Too long! Nyahahahaha…