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(via geekologie)

Good news, everyone!

We’ve got two new Futurama toys now added to the slowly-growing collection of figures from Toynami. Joining the already-released items are Hermes and Professor Farnsworth, both of whom include office accessories from Planet Express–Farnsworth even includes Leela’s beloved pet, Nibbler. The 6-inch figure line has already seen the release of Fry, Leela, Bender, Amy, Cloberella, Nudar, Captain Yesterday, Calculon, Zapp Brannigan and Kiff Kroker, some of whom might seem peculiar choices to have been released before these two staples of the Planet Express staff, but all is now right with the world.

In fact, while we’re talking about Futurama making things right with the world, let’s remember this summer’s awesome news that Futurama would be returning in 2010. It was made official, which delighted fans in June and then terrified them when the news broke that contract negotiations and a heavily reduced budget would mean they might need to recast the voice actors.

Fortunately, any fears were put aside following an explanation from cast member Maurice Lamarche later in the summer and now we need only sit back and wait for June 2010 to roll out with 26 new episodes of the show.

To learn more about the series’ triumphant return to TV, check out this article from Newsday, which is not only a crash course on the series, but gives fans a tantalizing tidbit about the potential name for the first new episode!

And finally, here’s a video compiled by a very awesome youtube user who has compiled every Futurama heading since the very beginning! Take a look:

Der drohende Finanzkollaps der KulturStadtLev und die Frage, ob, und wenn ja: wo vielleicht doch noch Geld gespart werden könnte, beschäftigt heute Rheinische Post (hier) und Leverkusener Anzeiger (hier). „Wir stehen am Abgrund“, formuliert Klaus Hupperth (CDU) im Kulturausschuss die Aussichten, während sich Marion Grundmann, Leiterin der KulturStadtLev, schützend vor die Musikschule stellt: Dort seien die Folgen weiterer Kürzungen „undenkbar“.

Über eine eingestürzte Betondecke auf der Rathaus-Galerie-Baustelle berichtet heute groß der Anzeiger, eher klein die RP: Ein fehlerhaft verarbeiteter Träger sei offenbar Ursache für das Einstürzen eines Teils der obersten Parketage in der Nacht auf Dienstag. Der Sachschaden, wiegelt ECE-Centermanagerin Katrin Becker laut Anzeiger ab, sei gering, der Eröffnungstermin im Februar nicht gefährdet.

Ganz absichtlich könnte es bald in Opladen krachen: Dem ehrwürdigen Altbau des Opladener Amtsgerichtes drohe die Abrissbirne, weiß der Anzeiger. Der Bau- und Liegenschaftsbetrieb des Landes Nordrhein-Westfalen prüfe derzeit diese Möglichkeit in Anbetracht hoher Renovierungskosten für das über 120 Jahre alte Gebäude, das überdies erhebliche Heizkosten verschlinge.

Über die notwendige Maßnahme der Technischen Betriebe Leverkusen (TBL) an dem bald auch in Fahrtrichtung Wiesdorf nur noch einspurig befahrbaren Europaring berichten heute auch Anzeiger und RP.

Vom mutmaßlichen Kreditkarten-Datendiebstahl in Spanien bleiben auch Kunden der Sparkasse Leverkusen nicht verschont, melden Anzeiger und RP. Alle betroffenen Kunden seien angeschrieben worden, es handele sich aber um eine „rein präventive Maßnahme“, betont Sparkassen-Sprecher Ingo Schneider laut Anzeiger.

Dem Sportbund Leverkusen könnte bald einen Vertreter in den Betriebsausschuss Sportpark entsenden dürfen, meldet der Anzeiger. Einen entsprechenden Antrag sei von CDU und SPD gemeinsam gestellt worden. Sportbund-Vorsitzender Karl-Josef Weißenfels solle „dem Vernehmen nach“ diese Position übernehmen.

Im Streit um den Bürgerbusch gehe es um die Summe von 150.000 Euro, setzt die RP heute ihre Berichterstattung zur Klage des Bürgerbusch-Käufers Wilfried Hilgert aus Köln gegen den Vorbesitzer Geza von Diergardt, der in Kanada lebe, fort.

Die Kooperation des Chemparks mit dem Nanjing Chemical Industry Park (siehe hier) nutzt die RP zu einer Betrachtung über die rosige Zukunft des einstigen Bayerwerks.

Keine rosige Zukunft ist bis auf weiteres dem Bayer-Leberkrebsmittel Nexavar beschert, zumindest nicht in Großbritannien. Dort habe die Aufsichtsbehörde Nice das Mittel mit der Begründung abgelehnt, es sei zu teuer, meldet Reuters.

Die heimliche Eliteschule Leverkusens feiert 2010 Jubiläum: Das Freiherr-vom-Stein-Gymnasium wird 50 Jahre alt, der Anzeiger weiß, welche „erfolgreichen Menschen“ unter den Ehemaligen die Schule dann neuerlich beehren sollen: Unter anderem die Autorinnen Maren Gottschalk und Ulla Hahn, die Journalisten Werner Sonne und Christoph Droesser, Ernst Grigat vom Chempark oder Pianist Falko Steinberg.

Auf dem Schrottplatz Bender in Küppersteg umgesehen hat sich ein Fernsehteam des WDR: Dort wundert sich Peter Bender immer noch über die Abwrackwut der Autofahrer, sein Schrottplatz sei immer noch voll. Der TV-Bericht ist hier abrufbar. Und dazu passend hier noch einmal das bedrückende Dokument der allerletzten Fahrt eines im Medienmoloch Leverkusen einst berüchtigten Autos, ebenfalls bei Bender. Achtung: melancholischer Blick bei 1:23.

Kultur: In der Studio-Galerie im Forum stellen Künstler aus dem Opladener Künstlerbunker ab heute und bis zum 18. Januar Arbeiten aus, Anzeiger und RP berichten.
Und eine Lesung heute Abend in der Erholungshaus-Kulisse kündigt der Anzeiger an: Dorota Masłowska (hier bei Wikipedia) liest um 20 Uhr aus ihrem Roman „Zwei arme Polnisch sprechende Rumänen“.

Din inepuizabilul Futurama :

Bender (pentru cine nu știe încă, un robot specilizat pe îndoit chestii, de unde și numele) e într-o croazieră pe un Titanic spațial, dar care, ghicim de la început, sfîrșește la fel ca cel oceanic. Aici el întîlnește o contesă de care se îndrăgostește subit iar dragostea lui e, așa cum ar trebui să fie mereu, împărtășită. Dar Bender e un robot sărac, deloc potrivit pentru o robo-contesă, așa că o minte pe aceasta că e și el tot un robot cu ulei albastru. Neavînd cu ce să plătească băuturile de la bar, Bender e bătut și umilit în fața contesei, situație în care e nevoit să își recunoască condiția socială.

Robo-contesa: Don’t worry Bender, I love you for your artificial intelligence and your sincerity simulator!

Cred că puține replici spuse vreodată în vreun serial, animat sau nu, sau chiar lung metraj, reușesc să creeze umor la eficient ca aceasta. Și asta nu e tot, pentru că ce era mai bun a fost păstrat pentru la sfîrșit, cînd Titanicul sfîrșește într-o gaură neagră. Contesa stă agățată de Bender, iar acesta stă agățat  de un escape-pod. Dar motoarele acestuia, în care se afla restul echipajului din Futurama, sînt prea slabe ca să învingă forța găurii negre, căci cei doi roboți sînt grei. Contesa își dă seama de asta și îl roagă pe Bender să îi dea drumul în gaura neagră. Dar Bender nu vrea să îi dea drumul. Nu pot să trăiesc fără tine, spune el.

Robo-contesa răspunde: You have to let me go. You will suffer for a while, but eventually you will find someone else to share your love with. After all, it’s shareware.

Dacă ar fi doar aceste două replici, și Futurama tot ar fi cel mai tare serial animat făcut vreodată. But there s much more where that came from.

PS: Toată lumea și-a dat seama că am scris în engleză doar pentru că în traducere s-ar fi pierdut toate poantele.

Cult sci-fi animated series ‘Futurama’ is set to return for a new series of 26 episodes. The series was originally thought up by Simpsons creator Matt Groening in the mid-1990s. He later enlisted former Simpsons writer and producer David X. Cohen (now Futurama head writer and Executive producer) to help devlop the idea. For anyone who hasn’t seen it, the premise of the series is a pizza delivery boy, Philip J Fry, who is accidentally (later revealed to be deliberately) cryogenically frozen in 1999 for 1000 years until New Year’s Eve 2999. The series revolves around his adventures adjusting to life in the 31st Century. The best character, in my opinion, is the alcoholic robot Bender. After showing for four seasons from 1999-2003 the series was cancelled and later syndicated for reruns where its fan base grew and it attracted a devoted following.  After reruns the series was revived with four straight-to-DVD films, Bender’s Big Score, The Beast with a Billion Backs, Bender’s Game and Into the Wild Green Yonder. The new series is set to begin airing around mid-2010. Producing studio 20^th Century Fox has announced that the new series will air on Comedy Central. Initially the original voice cast were said to be not reprising their roles. Protests were made at this news, including a ‘Save the Voices of Futurama’ Facebook group. It has now been confirmed that the entire cast are returning. Thanks for reading.

Tin Man – Wizard of Oz

Hajime Sorayam’s sexy robots

Reality

Bender – Futurama

Transformers

R2D2 & C-3PO – Starwars

Daft Punk’s Guy-Man – Working with Sebastien Tellier

Goldorak

Aibo – Sony

Astro

Nono – Ulysse 31

Tras el éxito obtenido con Los Simpsons, en 1999, Matt Groening tuvo la genial idea de crear una serie ambientada en el futuro. La historia transcurre en el año 3000, donde el personaje, Philip J. Fry aparece tras haberse quedado criogenizado 1000 años antes.

Philip J. Fry es un joven de 25 años que vivía en 1999 y trabaja como repartidor de pizzas. El día de noche vieja tiene que llevar un pedido a un laboratorio de criogenia, donde, tras un lamentable tropezón cae en una cámara donde queda congelado durante un milenio. Conoce a Leela, una atractiva cíclope encargada de poner los chips de trabajo. Más tarde Fry conoce a Bender, un robot antisocial que fuma, bebe, roba, anda con robopilinguis y más barbaridades…

Estos tres protagonistas acaban trabajando como repartidores en la empresa del tatatatatataranieto de Fry, un científico loco que pasa de los 110 años de edad y apenas puede moverse. Su trabajo consiste en hacer repartos por todo el universo, y a lo largo de cada uno de estos repartos se desarrolla la trama de la serie.

Teniendo en cuenta esto, la serie no tiene desperdicio. Una ciudad del futuro con naves espaciales, alienígenas de todo tipo conviviendo juntos, y miles de cosas por descubrir. 1000 años después podemos ver que la sociedad sigue teniendo los mismo prejuicios y problemas que en el siglo XX.

Durante el transcurso de los episodios van a apareciendo personajes variados, venidos de diferentes planetas, en la que también hay cabida para una generación de robots, y, sin embargo, eso no supone ningún problema para relacionarse entre ellos. Cada uno de ellos con una personalidad propia y encarnando a una figura real de la sociedad futura inventada por el autor.

En Youtube se puede encontrar un video con la música de Futurama. 

Avatar The Last Air Bender Aang On
Avatar The Last Air Bender Aang On

Avatar The Last Air Bender Aang On Game
Avatar The Last Air Bender Aang On Game Description : Help Aang in his bending practice!
How to Play Avatar The Last Air Bender Aang On Game? Move your Mouse in the direction shown by his mental arrows while holding the Mouse Button. Once you have moved the Mouse, Release the Button.

1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 11 0 0 , zicea  Bender (un robot, pentru cine nu a avut fericirea de a-l cunoaşte pe Bender) într-un episod din Futurama, vorbind pe limba lui, adică în sistemul binar. Cine nu-l înţelege, are impresia că e o înşiruire fără sens. Dar are sens. În schimb, ceea ce pare a avea sens, dacă te uiţi mai atent, nu are. În ultimul timp mi se pare că zilele au luat-o la fugă. Luni, vineri, luni, vineri, vineri, luni, luni, vineri, luni şi aşa la nesfîrşit. La nesfîrşit ? Am vrea noi la nesfîrşit! Care e rostul zilelor ăstora care vin una după alta, după alta şi din nou una după alta, aparent la nesfîrşit? Ne apropiem de ceva, ne îndepărtăm de ceva? Dacă ne apropiem de ceva, apoi ne putem apropia doar de limita şirului, adică de sfîrşit.  Şi caruselul se învîrte mai departe: luni, vineri, luni, vineri, vineri, vineri, luni, luni, vineri. Şi în ameţeala acestei înşiruiri avem impresia că ne învîrtim în cerc, ca într-un parc de distracţii, cînd de fapt suntem în linie dreaptă pe un drum care se termină brusc într-o prăpastie fără fund. Oare ce ne poate învăţa să facem saltul infinitului?

Our group had a lot of fun shooting our video.  The man (Chris), climbs up to the top of the parking garage and looks mournfully out at the world.  (When we shot it, we planned to have the man commit suicide, but the footage didn’t quite convey the meaning).

Here are some of our clips, arranged to demonstrate that we know our shots.

Here is the mini-film we edited.  My thanks to Jesse for his wonderful skills in video editing.  You’ll see what I mean.

Bueno, empezamos. Para empezar os dejo un video que desde la primera vez que lo vi, me gustó mucho porque acababa de conocer al grupo Sevendust y, desde hacía muchos años, Deftones se había convertido en uno de esos grupos que siempre llevaba en el “walkman” (joder, esta palabra ya suena hasta mal). Llegué a reventar dos cintas del primer cd de los Deftones “Adrenaline” de tanto escucharlo cuando iba a clase.

Curioseando por ahí encontré este video que espero que os guste tanto como a mí. No por el video en sí, sino por el tema que, a mí entender, reúne lo mejor de cada grupo.

Hasta pronto.

The folks at the weather channel marked the 1 year anniversary of Barack Obama winnig the election for President by showing Obama in outfits that correspond to the weather that day. Sort of strange and a little crudly drawn, but effective! check it out here——obama-weather

Also a Bender form Futurama, House, and Angelina Jolie version!

“What kind of party is this? There’s no booze and only one hooker.”

‘Twas an excellent Halloween season this year, with not one, but two crazy costume parties. I don’t have any pics from these events, so if you have any, let me know. Hit the jump for a couple more images, plus the original blueprints for the costume.

Not too shabby for some cardboard, shoelaces, and a bunch of fabric. Mugen was not happy, but he never is when clothing is involved. Fortunately for him I didn’t make him wear it very long, even though he made for a fantastic Nibblonian. I wasn’t totally convinced until I saw him poop dark matter.

We’re into the home stretch now and it’s exciting to think of playing some games between these teams. Not too much longer to go … there are many states to cover, of course, but some are combined to make one team.

Minnesota completes our slightly delayed upper Midwest tour. The Muskies name was used by the ABA franchise in the 1960s and I like it – alliterative and also descriptive of the state’s fishing vast resources.

The center of the state’s talent base seems to be the capital, St. Paul. Four prominent players came from there.

In order of age, there are Dave Winfield, Jack Morris, Paul Molitor and Joe Mauer. The first three were contemporaries, all with World Series rings and great careers. Winfield and Molitor were easy Hall of Fame selections. Morris, much like the recently discussed Bert Blyleven, has supporters and detractors for his Hall bid. After his 10-inning, 1-0 Game 7 victory over the Braves in the 1991 World Series, many people thought it was a done deal that Morris would go to Cooperstown. But he’s still waiting.

The last guy of course is the local guy who was able to stay home. The others eventually found their way to the Twins, but Mauer was drafted by them, from the same high school as Molitor, and the No. 1 pick overall over Mark Prior. That was roundly criticized at the time as favoring the hometown kid and/or going the cheap route (high school prospect versus major league ready pitcher). At first, of course, Prior was as good as advertised, but as he began to break down physically, Mauer was rising through the Twins’ system and now owns three batting titles, a Gold Glove and soon an MVP award.

Mauer has proved himself beyond a shadow of a doubt; the only question is, where will he play after 2010, when he becomes a free agent? The Twins will certainly have to open up the checkbook to have any hope of keeping him.

At least with the Minnesota team here, he will stay home. He’ll catch, among others, Hall of Famer Charles “Chief” Bender, a great big-game pitcher who posted a 2.44 ERA in World Series play. There are a lot of guys who can get behind the plate on the roster though, five of the 17 position players who made the Muskies are rated at catcher.

Other pitchers include Mets star Jerry Koosman, curveball specialist Bill Gullickson and ’20s ace Bullet Joe Bush. It seems that a lot of pitchers named Joe were called either Bullet Joe or Smokey Joe.

The manager, like his catcher, achieved his professional heights in his home state. Tom Kelly’s only big-league playing appearance was as a Twin in 1975. He got a couple of months to impress as a first baseman, but he only hit .181 with one homer, so it was back to the minors. About a decade later, he was back as the manager and he ended up leading the Twins to their only two world championships.

MINNESOTA MUSKIES

RH Chief Bender
CA Johnny Blanchard
LH Tom Burgmeier
RH Joe Bush
2B Joe Crooks
2B Gene DeMontreville
OF Jim Eisenreich
RH Steve Foucault
RH Bill Gullickson
RH Carmen Hill
1B Kent Hrbek
RH Josh Johnson
2B Jerry Kindall
LH Jerry Koosman
OF Roger Maris
CA Joe Mauer
3B Paul Molitor
RH Jack Morris
OF Walt Moryn
RH Tom Niedenfuer
SS Jimmy Pofahl
OF Rip Repulski
OF Larry Rosenthal
CA Terry Steinbach
OF Joe Visner
LH Rube Walberg
CA Wes Westrum
OF Dave Winfield

Next: Oregon.

Sooo Halloween is this Saturday, as I am sure you are aware of dear readers. And I don’t know about you, but every year I go on the internet and see all those fantastically geektastic pumpkins that everyone has carved and I think to myself… hey, why cant I do that? Well often times it’s because I don’t want to draw up my own pattern. Though I am informed that many people also just don’t like to draw. WELL little blogglets, I have gone through all the trouble of researching some fabulous templates, ranging from easy to medium in vegetable artistry difficulty in hopes that it will aid you in creating that perfect nerdy pumpkin you want all of your neighbors to see so they can either A) judge you from afar or B) think you are super sophisticated because they have no idea what your pumpkin is. So here are some awesome pumpkin carving ideas for you to print out and enjoy! (Disclaimer: yes I stole these from the internet)

Well here of course is the traditional Batman symbol. This is fun for kids and adults alike. Its recognizable, its geeky and its EASY. The beauty of this one too is that it is the original bat symbol, so while other people look lame by just doing the fancy Dark Knight symbol or a creepy Heath Ledger Joker, your pumpkin will stay stylish, simple and classic.

So, for all the math geeks out there, this is both clever and nerdy. Again, very simple and easy to cut, but haha! Its pumpkin pi! Get it? Impress people with your incredible wit! You are clearly the most clever person on your block, to put such a witty pun into your holiday festivities.

Everyone loves video games! Here are two video game based templates to show your support for both Gears of War, or if you are feeling slightly more ambitious and less violent, the ever popular Rock Band! Gears of War is a pretty easy design, where as Rock Band is a little more ambitious, ranking out at a solid medium level of difficulty. So rise up gamers! Show your fandom AFK!

Now what kind of magnificent ass hat would I be if I didn’t include some Star Wars stencils? These are great for the whole “Dark Side of the Porch” theme. Both Bobba Fett and Dark Vader will look incredibly creepy and badass, scaring adult and small child alike. And we all know scaring children is what Halloween is all about. Right? RIGHT?! But yeah, both of these you just cut out the grey parts and you’ll have something pretty awesome. The Fett man is pretty easy and Sir Vader is an easy to medium cut. Have fun!

Now, while I am not personally a Linux person, I know the people who are will defend this little Tux Penguin TO THE DEATH. So if you are one of the folks who runs this incredibly strange system (no offence intended, it just confounds me), show off your techie pride!

Looking for something a little more pop culture oriented? Show your happiness for the return of Futurama with this fantastic Bender the Robot stencil. Got kids in your neighborhood? Don’t include the writing. Don’t give a shit about kids in your neighborhood? Go for it! The orange area indicates that this area can be “shaded”. If you don’t know how to do that though, its totally fine to just not cut out that area of the pumpkin. Either way this is a great fun easy design for fanfolk!

Speaking of pop culture, lets stray away from the Team Edward/Team Jacob pumpkins this year. They will probably get smashed by anyone who isn’t 16 years old and a girl. Instead, how about trying this True Blood template to spice up your vampiric night life. Super simple but very iconic, this image is a great way to add a little sex to your doorstep, I mean, if thats what you’re into .

This is a super sweet throw back to the original series of Star Trek. Just cut where the white area is, and you’ll have young Lenord Nemoy looking out on all your neighborhood, judging human emotions in silence, but with dignity. With the new Star Trek movie, you’re bound to get a ton of Federation clad trick or treaters, so this design will be a great hit with almost everyone who sees it! It looks harder than it is, but this design is totally easy to medium on the difficulty level scale.

British fear is the best kind of fear. This Doctor Who template is a GREAT way to show off incredible fandom and it also makes for a pretty terrifying looking pumpkin. Even if people don’t know what it is, this Ood will send shivers down the spine of any geek or non geek that visits your door. Probably the hardest design of the group, ranking out at a solid medium in difficulty, this still is totally doable by the artistically challenged and would be a super cool, super unique addition to your doorstep.

Last but not least ladies, I give you my personal favorite. Meet the Ash pumpkin. Encapsulating all of the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness glory that is Bruce Campbell, this design is incredibly fun and fantastic for the geek who just doesn’t have enough chainsaw hand in their life. This thing looks FANTASTIC when finished, and ranks at a medium carving level (the chainsaw and the scraggly pant leg is why it gets that rating), but out of the mouth of the great man himself, this pumpkin design is one word. Groovy.

Duration: 3:48 | Made: 07.7.08

Just wanted to try this song with this movie. Gonna make better ones when I find some songs. This became a John Bender video after all though I intended it to become generally TBC… it’s hard to keep from focusing on him as he is the main character plus my favorite… So I added the shortish intro clips after noticing that.

“Say a prayer for the youth of America.
God bless the youth America.
I can’t stand their sight anymore,
All the dead kids lying on your door,
And you don’t hear a word they’re tellin ya.

You’re all dead. You’re all dead… You’ve been wasted.

Don’t believe a thing they’re selling ya.
They got a carrot on a stick in front of ya.
Take it back from a hurting child,
You know they can’t even use it now,
And it was yours in the first place anyway”

VIEW/DOWNLOAD:
http://peterpanthimbles.net/?video=232

Video/Editing by me – (bendaimmortal/peterpanlegend/TheVampireOutlaw)
My YouTube Account

Theseguysblog Challenge – Hit up Connaught place with a 100 rupee note in hand and come home with the following four DVD’s:

• Surrogates – B-Weasy acts the shit out of this movie, one of his finest films. The premise revolves around the idea that Bruce buys a bunch of robotic replicas of Bruce … meaning quadruple the Bruces.

• Land of the Lost – Most people hate Will Ferrell based on the fact that they think too many people like Will Ferrell. Those people are idiots; his shitty movies are guaranteed for 12 giggles at a minimum.
  • Life is all about giggles, if I don’t get my fix of at least 50 giggles a day I become a dangerous man.

• Year One – This movie is sure to further feed my sick sick addition with Michael Cera.
• The Hurt Locker – Arguably the only legitimate movie I was in the market for.

After filtering through hundreds of pirated American DVD’s I could only find two out of the four. My half ass attempts at lowballing these dirtbags, at a fraction of the market price, were failures forcing me to move on. Before I knew it, close to two hours had gone by and my goal was far from achieved.

My patience was running thin but after thinking of how I would feel post-Michael Cera film, I gathered the motivation to dig down deep into my energy reserves. The pickings were slim seeing as we had visited nearly all of stores, but out of nowhere this one fellow caught my attention. We made eye contact and he spewed out broken English offering me games, DVD’s and CD’s.

The merchant motioned for me to follow him to his co-workers store (all these dudes work in cahoots each managing a couple different shops). I followed the merchant to his other store but as soon as the other owner saw my face I could tell something had gone wrong. I was told to leave.

My luck had run out, with my recently shaved head and unchanged white skin, I was easily remembered as the skinheaded, sleaze-bagging low baller. I somehow managed to get blacklisted from the underground pirated movie hub. I mean that’s talent people, to out slime the skeezies shows some serious tenacity and balls, half you jokers out there couldn’t do what I did.

Through association Arvil was blacklisted but that also might have been attributed to the fact that he low bagged this one dude so badly that even me, the king of the low ballin’ scumbags was surprised by his offer.

Twelve DVD’s for 300 rupees, Arvil pulled an offensive, spinless yet ballsy move and I have to respect him for it.

Although no DVD’s were purchased Arvil did buy:

Rolex – 100 rps – originally: 250 rps.

Shantanaram (novel) – 200 rps – originally:  700 rps.

A strawberry milkshake with whipcream toppings – 80 rps.

Right before he chuggled the shake, Arvil said in a high pitched voice while limping his wrists:

“I am such a bad boy, I shouldn’t”

India’s Zagat street side vendor winners have been announced. Once again theseguysblog.wordpress.com are the first with the results.

Best Barber: Harkirishna Gupta

When your payout is the tightest Guido fade imaginable then sometimes it’s worth being cut up by rusty unsterilized razors. Harkrishna Gupta is his name and all day long the Gupster (Goop-ster) hooks brothers up with the fade that’s ganna get you laid. I can’t even count how many times he gave me a tight ceaser dew which resulted in a morning trip to planet parenthood.

Harkrishna Gupta on the job

Guppy (Goop-ey) has been cutting hair ever since he saw Barbershop 2, staring Ice Cube … classic. The Gupster refined his skills at Blaine Beauty School in Waltham, Ma. He graduated second out of his class of 15, edged out by none other than Papa Lote (Grande Ligas – Framingham, MA).

Best Shoe-shiner: Suneet Mehta

Shining shoes aint no walk in the park, the amount of forearm strength required to buff out a pair of alligator oxfords is insurmountable.

Suneets mother was a dirty Mongol and his father was a shiesty shoe salesman who often worked long hours. Their house was constructed solely out of shoeboxes; in fact Suneets crib, as a child, was composed out of an air force one shoe box (white on whites of course).

Suneet the shiner

After watching the Karate Kid on loop for four straight years, little Suneet had perfected the wax on wax off motions. When he hit puberty Suneets forearm strength tripled … for obvious reasons.

He has beaten Mariusz Pudzianowski, Ving Rhames and Sanjays moustche in best of five arm wrestling matches.

To this date, Suneet has yet to have an unsatisfied customer.

Additional info: Suneet moonlights as the owner of a roadside Z-Job factory.

Best Sauce: Dees Ahswhol

Dees Ahswhol sucked at pretty much everything when growing up … completely inadequate at life. He was terrible at basic math, hopeless at making friends and had the tiniest penis. Fortunately he was lucky enough to land a gig clipping Julia Child’s toenails.

The best sauce

While working with Julia he stole one of her famous sauce recipes and moved back to India. Now every day Dees sells roughly 70 gallons of his sauce. He has the tastiest sauce in Delhi, his sauce is so good, the best sauce a man could wish for, you must taste his sauce. His sauce is kept extra warm in his stainless steel canister.

Is the year 1935? Did I just get time warped back to the Third Reich? This must be some sort of sick twisted dream … Today when leaving my house I noticed dozens of swastikas lining the stairs of my building. Immediately the Ann Frank in me began looking for an out and I formulated a plan to hide in the attic till shit blew over. I was later reassured that the swastikas hold a religious significance to Hinduism and are common during this seasons headlining holiday.

Today is Diwali, it’s the most visibly celebrated holiday in India, representing the victory of good over evil via an insane amounts of fireworks.

Think of it as a crossbreed between Christmas and the 4^th of July. Children are showered with presents and six year old slum children recklessly light off pitakas (fireworks). Kinda like the way overpriced Halloween stores open up every October in the states, here a million different underpriced firework stores pop up around every corner.

Back in the states it would cost you 50 bucks to buy anything that flies up 200 feet, but here I purchased 10 Kaliswari Bullets for 50 rupees (roughly a buck); for under 300 rupees you can get rockets that skyrocket hundreds of feet in the air … dirt cheap.

Tonight as the sun fades, every kid that’s far too young to be lighting off sparklers will be blowing up rockets. Chaotic awesomeness, I plan on blowing up a couple packs of stray dogs, one of Raju mamas servants (he has plenty to spare) and maybe Jeet Sodhi’s roadside banana stand.

Jeet and is nana stand

Arvil, Rithlal and I just went topside to test out a couple rockets. I thought it would be a great idea to strap some Kaliswari bullets to the rockets, increasing our chances of permanent mutilation. Luckily we did not injury ourselves but seeing as the bullets did not blow up until they hit the ground a few hundred yards away, we cannot be positive that there were no casualties.

Tonight Kaku is coming over with another friend who is bringing more explosives to add to our arsenal. We plan on increasing our assets and minimizing our liabilities by having Rithlal do the igniting.