The Health Protection Agency is investigating a number of cases of E. coli O157 in travellers returning from Benidorm in Spain…. From BBC News. Full story

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For years, politicians and commentators have been ringing the bell for the end of class.  A decade ago, Tony Blair announced that we were all middle-class now, though I had already suspected something was afoot when my Nanna upgraded from Spam to wafer-thin ham. 

Since then, the consensus has been that the old delineations of upper, middle and lower are dead.  This, though, is far from the case.  In the last few weeks, I have become aware of a class that is as likely to shop in Waitrose as it is Farmfoods.  It likes Jedward but it listens to Verdi too.  It has a place in Provence, but also a fortnight’s all-inclusive in Benidorm.  And I am part of it.

We are the Daytime Class.  We are mothers with prams who are thinking of white wine and wondering if they’ll ever go to the cinema again.  We are pocked-up heroine wallahs in every shade of sallow.  We are doughty pensioners chatting in the rain.  We are unemployed twenty-seven year-old men who put on their wives’ shoes to watch Loose Women. 

While you’re all at work or serving your sentences, we come out.  Droves of us.  You should see the streets, teeming, brimming with people who serve about as much purpose as this board I took a picture of in Cowdenbeath:

Nothing to see here. No, seriously, there's nothing to see here

We have strength in pointless, café-dwelling unity.  We know what time the post is delivered, and that Fat Sandra is having a lesbian affair ‘just because she got bored’.  We are the people that go into Poundland and use libraries.  We have favourite coffee beans and drug dealers. 

It’s high time we mobilised as a political force.  Led by somebody suitably pointless like Sue Perkins, The Daytime Class Party would advocate a complete ban of the question ‘what time did you get up today?’  The class war is on, but only once Doctors has finished.

DATOS PERSONALES: Sara Martínez Valdivieso

Fecha Nacimiento: 28/08/1974

Domicilio: 03580 Alfaz del Pi, Alicante, España

e-mail: mae2007.benidorm@hotmail.com

FORMACIÓN ACADÉMICA

09/06/2009-18/11/2009

Máster en Gestión y Administración de la Empresa Comercial

Universidad Miguel Hernández de Elche.

Estancia en la Universidad de La Sorbonne de Paris (IAE)

01/10/1998-30/06/2001

Diplomada en Empresas y Actividades Turísticas

Universidad Europea Miguel de Cervantes de Valladolid

Revalidado: Facultad de CC Económicas y Empresariales (UNED)

01/10/1994-30/06/1996

Técnica Superior en Administración y Finanzas

IES Arca Real de Valladolid

01/10/1988-30/06/1993

Bachiller.

IB Emilio Ferrari de Valladolid

IDIOMAS

Inglés Nivel Alto. Cursando 6º nivel en Escuela Oficial de Idiomas, Benidorm

Francés Nivel Alto

Valenciano Nivel Medio

Alemán Nivel Básico

INFORMÁTICA

Nivel Profesional Programas de Gestión Hotelera, AAVV, Notaría, Call Center…

Nivel Intermedio Redes: Amadeus, Clarify, Remedy, GIS, Internet, Extranet

Nivel Avanzado Microsoft Office, Contaplus

Nivel Intermedio Sistemas operativos: Windows, MS DOS

FORMACIÓN CONTINUA

• Curso “Haz de tu Idea una Empresa”, 01-05/06/2009, Cátedra Bancaja, Universidad de Alicante
• Gestión Empresarial, 11-15/05/2009, Instituto Valenciano de la Juventud
• Inglés de Negocios, 28/07-12/11/2008, INEM-CCOO
• Jóvenes Emprendedores (50 horas), 30/10/2007, Programa de Formación Bancaja Online
• Partes Testamentarios y Actas de Notoriedad, 23/02/2006, Consejo General del Notariado
• Ticketing-Amadeus, 05/02/2002, AVASA, Barcelona
• Reservas Trasmediterránea, 27/11/2001, AVASA, Barcelona
• Inglés Turístico (35 horas), 02-30/09/1998, Escuela Oficial de Turismo de CyL
• Sistemas Computerizados de Reserva (30 horas), 07-11/09/1998, E.O.T CyL
• Técnico en IVA (80 horas), 17/11-23/12/1997, INEM-UGT
• Recepcionista (250 horas), 21/05-30/07/1997, IFES
• Contabilidad Superior (110 horas), 30/06/1997, Cámara de Comercio de Valladolid
• Universidad y Consumo, 29/11-02/12/1993, Universidad de Valladolid

EXPERIENCIA LABORAL

Agente de Reservas

01/10/2007-18/10/2008

-       Touroperador Viajes Beninter, SA, Benidorm, Alicante.

Responsable de Venta y Gestión mayorista y minorista de Plazas hoteleras y Transporte al mercado nacional e internacional.

12/01/2004-11/07/2004

-      La primera vez que trabajé para esta empresa me dedicaba exclusivamente a la venta y gestión minorista OnLine.

09/07/2002-08/11/2003

-       Cadena Hoteles Costablanca, SA, Finestrat, Alicante.

Responsable de Venta y Gestión de reservas de una de las cadenas hoteleras más importantes de Benidorm, especial att. a clientes Internacionales, Cuadre de plazas; Gestión de Intranet – Extranet

Administrativa

08/05/2007-30/10/2007

-       Asesoría-Gestoría Gestmase, SL, Altea, Alicante.

Responsable de la Tramitación de Escrituras Públicas.

15/02/2005-08/05/2007

-       Notaría Notabeni, CB, Benidorm, Alicante.

Responsable de la Maquetación de Copias Autorizadas de Escrituras Públicas; Realización y Control de Partes Testamentarios y Actas; Control del Protocolo de Don Juan Antonio Martín Carvajal; Envío telemático de copias y Oficios al Colegio de Valencia.

02/11/2004-07/02/2005

-       Asesoría Gestión y Empresa, Alfaz del Pi, Alicante.

Funciones de Secretaria Administrativa y Aprovisionamiento.

Recepcionista

09/04/2002-30/06/2002

-       Hotel Alone (Mediterráneo Sur, SL),Finestrat, Alicante.

Atención al cliente; Reservas; Asignación; Facturación y Caja.

Agente de Viajes

01/08/2001-05/03/2002

-       Viajes Tarraco, SA, Tarragona.

-       Estival Tour (Picasentour, SL-Gata y Borrell, SL), Tarragona.

Venta directa de paquetes vacacionales, billetaje, IMSERSO…

Telegestora de Call Center

10/05/1999-30/06/2001

-       Airtel (Telemarketing Golden Line, SL), Boecillo, Valladolid.

Gestión de servicios de telefonía móvil. Obtenido Plus de Excelencia Telefónica, Plus de Idiomas y ascendida al Departamento de Airtel Empresas mientras estudiaba la carrera universitaria.

Encargada de Tienda

01/08/1997-31/07/1998

-       MaxOcio (Distriaran, SL), Valladolid.

Responsable del personal, aprovisionamiento y caja de un negocio de artículos de ocio; Revelado de fotografía; Inventario de almacén…

PROYECTOS

• Desarrollo de los Proyectos Empresariales “Shanti” y “Globus”, comercios minoristas.
• Soy TRADUCTORA VOLUNTARIA INGLÉS-ESPAÑOL para la Fundación Iepala de ayuda a los refugiados en Gaza.

DISPONIBILIDAD, COMPETENCIAS E INTERESES

• Carnet B y Coche Propio
• Disponibilidad para viajar y para trabajar en el extranjero
• Tengo Espíritu de Equipo, me Adapto a Diferentes Ambientes Culturales, tengo Empatía con el Cliente, Experiencia en Gestión de Equipos y Buen Sentido de la Organización.
• Interés por los viajes, internet, las letras, música, cine, teatro, museos, cursos, Pilates…

Anyone interested in organising ISBA 2012? Here are the details:

The ISBA Program Council is soliciting pre-proposals to host the 11th world meeting of ISBA in the summer of 2012.  Pre-proposal are due by the first of February to Alexandra Schmidt, Rio de Janeiro, and shall consist of:
* a paragraph on the location and facilities
* names of a tentative local organizing committee, with the likely lead/chair local organizer
* mention of possible local/regional funding streams and tentative level of local funding expected/targeted

Please note that ISBA is available to work with local organizers in developing funding proposals and seeking funding internationally.

The Program Council will review these pre-proposals and invite full proposals from as many groups as the Council  decides. The Program Council will comment on the full proposals and then submit them to the Board for their discussion. The Board and Council will decide an initial prioritization of proposals, weighing balance of geographical location (over a period of years, aiming to represent all active Bayesian regions worldwide), cost and accessibility.  At the WorldMeeting in 2010, the potential sites will be discussed and represented at the Member Meeting, following which the Program Council will make a final recommendation for the site to the Board, for Board approval.

Timeline:

1 Feb, 2010     pre-proposals due
15 Feb, 2010   full proposals invited
1 May, 2010    full proposals due
15 May, 2010  program council forwards comments to board
June 2010       discussion at ISBA 10 in Benidorm leading to final decision

The weather was good to us for most of our stay and mostly it was sunny and dry, which meant plenty of time for lying on the beach or sitting around the swimming pool that was directly outside the front of the hotel.  During the second week however there was a bit of a change and we experienced some very heavy showers.  One afternoon it rained so hard that the Avenida de Almeria, the road to the beach, was completely flooded and rather than a street instead resembled a river in full flow.  We couldn’t go out that afternoon so we sat in the bar with another older couple and shared a bottle of bacardi that I had won the previous day on a trip to the mountain village of Guadalest.

I mentioned before that the food wasn’t too clever and one day Linda went down with an awful case of food poisoning and was confined to the room.  This was inconvenient because the next day we were due to go on a full day sightseeing trip and because we had paid for the tickets I was determined not to miss it and selfishly made Linda get up and go even though she really wasn’t anything like well enough.   At the first scheduled stop the first thing she needed was the WC facilities but they were those old fashioned stand up and grab a handrail ones that aren’t very nice to use at the best of times.  Anyway, I won’t go into the details here but the consequence of the visit was that I had to take off my underpants and give them to Linda and this left me ‘going commando’.

 At the next scheduled stop was lunch followed by some silly games.  Linda unsuprisingly didn’t eat lunch and she wasn’t in the mood for silly games either.  One of the games was to put half a dozen girls or so in the middle of the floor and get them to obtain things from the audience and in each round the last one to do so was eliminated.  A bit like musical chairs but this involved getting hold of other people’s personal possessions like watches and belts before it moved on to clothes.  One girl found me accommodating and kept coming back and soon I was down to just my jeans.  Inevitably the game organiser called for a pair of trousers and she came my way.  The whole game was designed to get some poor bloke down to his underpants and giggle at him but I hadn’t got any on.  I declined but she was persistent and she kept insisting and eventually I gave in, whipped off my trousers while trying to preserve my rapidly vanishing dignity, she ran to the centre of the room, won the game and that is where the bottle of bacardi came from!  Linda wasn’t impressed but the other people on the trip found it all very amusing.

After the shock of getting a participant down to his birthday suit the trip continued on to Guadalest by way of a  twisting road that climbed ever upwards, passing through the village of Polop and finally reaching a spectacular position at the top of the mountain with breathtaking views and the village sitting perched on the very top of the mountain.  This was an old  Moorish fortress that was virtually impregnable and the old village and the castle is only accessible through a tunnel carved through the rock and when we reached the other end we had been transported to a secret village of whitewashed houses and narrow streets where the houses crept up towards the top in a most fascinating way and old ladies dressed in black sat in their doorways selling hand made lace.

The narrow path continued towards the top past more small shops and through a cobbled square with friendly little restaurants, as well as a busy school and a very tiny jail.  On one side of the square there were stone seats behind a wall beyond which was a stunning view over the mountains and in the Guadalest valley below the ‘Embalse de Guadalest’, a dam and a reservoir, which was built between 1953 and 1971 to supply water to a number of towns and villages in the area, including Benidorm.  Unfortunately there was no water in it because it hadn’t been designed to cope with so many visitors and because of all of the people in Benidorm it had quickly been drained dry.  This explained why there was always a large tanker ship in Benidorm Bay, it wasn’t full of oil as I had supposed but water and it was continually being replaced because this was the way that the City got its water supply.  The guide told us that the reservoir was unlikely ever to fill again but he was wrong because I understand that it is now full and Benidorm no longer has need of the tankers.

Linda was feeling better by this time and I was glad of that because I had felt guilty all day.  After we left Guadalest we returned directly to Benidorm in time for evening meal but I am fairly sure that Linda didn’t join me in the dining room that night.

In fact we had had enough of the unimaginative Don Juan catering and the drastic consequences for the digestive system of dining there and in the second week we went out into the town for a couple of evenings to meet Tanya and Steve who we had met on Peacock Island.  Tanya and Steve were a friendly couple who lived in Blackpool, she had big 1970’s hair and wore extravagant amounts of make-up and he was tall and thin with a brittle Lancashire accent that became difficult to understand when he became excited.  We enjoyed their company and we remained friends for a couple of years and then after a while we just drifted our own ways and we never saw them again.  A shame really but life is like that.

After two weeks we were more than ready to go home.  A friend had asked Linda to bring a bag back for her that she had left there earlier in the year and although we were nervous about drugs or something illicit we did it anyway.  We declared it at the customs desk but we needn’t have worried because it was all perfectly genuine.  We had enjoyed Benidorm but two weeks was really too long and I never had the any desire or reason to go back.  But then in 2008 on a golfing holiday nearby and inspired by the TV series we visited Benidorm and I was surprised to discover a place that I did not recognise and a pleasant day there forced me to revise my opinion of the place:

http://apetcher.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/benidorm-the-surprise/

During the day there wasn’t a great deal to do except to visit the beaches and spend endless pointless hours sunbathing.  Benidorm is famous for its two main beaches which stretch for four kilometres all along the bay.  The city enjoys a unique geographical position on the east coast of Spain because it actually faces due south and has two stunningly beautiful beaches on the Mediterranean Sea that stretch out either side of the old town, on the east the Levante, the sunrise, and to the west the Poniente, the sunset, and it enjoys glorious sunshine all day long. 

Even though the Blue Flag award wasn’t initiated until 1987 the beaches really were excellent with soft golden sand and a gentle shelf leading down into the warm sea.  Since its introduction Benidorm had prided itself on the award and the quality of its beaches but then in 2009 there was a calamity and although the Poniente and Mal Pas were confirmed the Levante was removed from the list.  The news of the loss of the blue flag status, previously considered to have some of the best sand in the world, was a bombshell for Benidorm.  The town council, which is in charge of the beaches complained that the decision was unfair because the analysis took place after there had been a lot of rain which had caused turbulence in the water but the blue flag organisation couldn’t be persuaded.  The authorities are determined to rectify this and the beach is almost certain to be reinstated to blue flag status in 2010.

I hope the Levante gets its flag back because It is an interesting fact that Spain has more blue flag beaches than any other participating country with four hundred and ninety nine in five thousand kilometres of coastline, the United Kingdom by comparison, has only one hundred and forty-four in nearly eighteen thousand kilometres.  Greece has the second most blue flags at four hundred and thirty and France is third with two hundred and thirty-eight.

Behind the beaches were the wide Promenades, the palm fringed backdrop to the golden sand with flowing patterned tiles that provided a route for the inevitable tourist train (I really hate those tourist trains) and a thoroughfare from one end of the beach to the other with all of the sidestreets leading to hotels and tucked away bars.  Benidorm has a unigue urban pattern because in 1954, the Mayor, Pedro Zaragoza Orts created the Plan General de Ordenación, or city building plan to you and me, that ensured that every building would have an area of leisure land, guaranteeing a future free of the excesses of cramped construction seen in other areas of Spain and it is the only city in the country that still adheres to this rigid rule.  This vision for the future sparked the building boom that followed and the flying start that Benidorm achieved in the package tour boom of the 1960’s and 70s.

Inbetween the two magnificent beaches was the old town and this really was the best part of Benidorm.  Here in the twisting narrow streets hemmed in by claustrophobic whitewhased buildings it was possible to imagine what the town must have been like in the past as small fishing village as we walked around the old town, the San Jaime church with its distinctive blue tiled hat roofs, the old town promontory with the Balcon Del Mediterraneo, and pretty Mal Pas beach below situated in between the Levante and the Poniente.  Benidorm castle was thought to have been built on this rock around 1325.  The castle survived until 1812, but now there are no signs of the ruins.  Inland from the promontory Benidorm’s old town narrow streets were a joy to wander around, vibrant and continuously busy they were dotted with bars, restaurants and tourist shops that never seemed to close.

There was only so much time that we could spend on the beach and walking around the old town, there was the Wednesday market that we visited (twice)  but to be honest there wasn’t a great deal more to do so filling fourteen days was a bit of a challenge.  About three kilometres out in the bay was the little island of Isla Benidorm, a triangular shaped chunk of inhospitable rock with a regular ferry boat running across for just a few pesetas each.  There was so little to do that we made the trip twice and really once would have been quite enough.  It was advertised as ‘Peacock Island’ but all we found there were a few scraggy chickens trying to get by in a very hostile landscape without any vegetation or water.  Fortunately there was a bar on the island with really good views back towards the mainland so at least there was somewhere to sit and have a drink while we waited for the ferry to return.  On one of the trips we met Tanya and Steve from Blackpool and we shared a table, struck up conversation and agreed to meet up one evening for a meal.  Today Isla Benidorm is being developed as a wild bird sanctuary so maybe there are a few more species there than those few pathetic chickens?

 
 
 
 
 
 
WEDNESDAY 11th NOVEMBER

 
 
 
 
What an exciting week!
 
Queued for hours outside Asda for the midnight release on Monday of the new ‘Call of Duty’ computer game just so I could be one of the first to play it.
 
Oh hang on – no I didn’t. I’m a sensible grown up. I’ll leave that geeky bollocks for the utter sad twats. Get a life.
 
FAIL.
 
*****
 
Things I would like to see…
 
People talking about X Factor on their Facebook status updates on a Sunday evening. Why do people not mention it?
 
That is obviously another piece of sarcasm. X Factor has the Facebook world in a vice-like grip.
 
* “Fukin Simon Cowell wadda prik.”
 
* “I h8 dem twinz.”
 
* “Not watchin dat shit agen til da twins r out.”
 
* “Dat show makes me fukin angry.”
 
* “Twins shud get a lyf and Cowel to.”
 
Yawn. It’s karaoke for a thick generation. Get over it.
 
*****
 
Do not disturb me this Sunday night between 7 and 8. My phone will be switched off. Got to give Dr Who my full attention.
 
I, of course, reserve the right to update my Facebook status with my views on that particular programme. And I imagine I’ll write about it here next week.
 
Yes, yes, yes – I am a Dr Who geek… but I wouldn’t queue outside a shop for the midnight release of a Dr Who DVD/Dalek helmet/computer game etc.
 
*****
 
Facebook status update of the week (1):
 
“Guna stick d fire on, b4 goin bk t work at 3! Early nyt tnyt me finks!”
 
Yeh me finks dats da best fing 4 u 2 do innit.
 
 
Facebook status update of the week (2):
 
Kayleigh wrote: “Had A Gud Nyt Last Nyt Talken Bwt Shit Lyk Ghosts Scaren Da Crap Owt Ov Ourselves Ha! Shud B A Nuva Gd Nyt Cumen On”
 
I replied: “I’m sending a ghost to your house tonight, Kayleigh. You’ll recognise which ghost I’m sending… it’ll be the one with a dictionary.”
 
Kayleigh subsequently pointed out that she’s “shit at spelling” as if there’s nothing she can do about it. I imagine it must be hard for some people to spell such difficult words as…
 
* Good
* Night
* Talking
* About
* Like
* Scaring
* The
* Out
* Should
* Another
* Coming
 
Well it must be hard to spell those words… if you’re SEVEN YEARS OLD !
 
I don’t mind a bit of ‘text talk’ to save some time but when you spell ‘out’ as ‘owt’ it’s the same bloody length!
 
 
Facebook status update of the week (3):
 
Katie Jarvis wrote: “What goes around comes around Sooo u need to watch out u Fat fuckin bitch u Think its fuckin funny lieing about somethink that was never true ur just sick and twisted and ur defo no fuckin mother of mine as far as im concerened u can go rot in fuckin hell!!”
 
Ooooh, get you!
 
*****
 
Here is a ‘conversation’ I had with some dork called Ryan Campbell: (who I have subsequently deleted as a friend) on my Facebook wall last week…
 
RC: Saf
Me: What ??
 
RC: Saf m8
Me: Apologies for my ignorance… I only speak English
 
RC: Yes saf m8
Me: What does ’saf’ mean though?
 
RC: Muf w fu M8. Saf m8
Me:  Give me a minute while I consult the ‘chav dictionary’
 
RC: Ha ha saf
Me: The ‘chav dictionary’ doesn’t recognise the word ’saf’ or ‘muf’ or ‘w fu’
 
RC: No at u r saf m8
Me: Ah right – I should’ve looked in the ‘Telford Dictionary’
 
RC: Saf gud ida m8 saf
Me: The ‘Telford Dictionary’ suggests ’saf’ might mean ’safe’ – am I right ?
 
RC: On u mud. Dot oud saf m8
 
* DELETE *
 
*****
 
The big story of the week was this belter from the News of the World…
 
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/586565/The-Sperminator-Facebook-cheater-Dominic-Baronet-gets-12-girls-pregnant.html
 
“Love rat Dominic Baronet from Telford has been branded The Sperminator for getting TWELVE girls pregnant after wooing them on the social networking site – two of them on the SAME DAY. Five women are now raising his KIDS, five were talked into ABORTIONS and two are EXPECTING. For years the laptop lust hunter has secretly preyed on women with his smooth internet patter.”
 
I think my favourite tabloid phrase in that is: laptop lust hunter.
 
Having been in the Sunday papers myself – I was ‘romantically linked’ with the girlfriend of a football manager back in 2001, it made the front page of the Sunday People and was in the NOTW and others, I may tell you the full story one day if the lawyers allow – I never believe every cough and splutter of these stories.
 
I bet he hasn’t really impregnated twelve women but clearly he is a bit of a lad. As someone who doesn’t like hypocrites, I must be honest that there have been occasions when I was much younger where I may have spun a line to impress a woman. Now I just say what I think and people have to like it or lump it.
 
There’s part of me who salutes the cheek of this bloke (what they saw in him, I don’t know) although cheating in relationships is reprehensible.
 
However, these gullible women have to take some responsibility. If they’d shown a bit more respect for themselves – keeping their legs shut or insisting he wore a condom etc – then they would have less to complain about.
 
One of the girls who went to the newspaper with the story is a Facebook friend of mine. I know her because she comes into Pussycats. I doubt she’ll be in for a while in her state – although there are plenty of women around Telford who look like they might be pregnant.
 
*****
 
Here were some of the comments posted about the story on the NOTW website:
 
* “If ugly girls weren’t allowed to use Facebook, they couldn’t be seduced by desperate losers.”
 
* “Looking at those photos, I think the ’slappernator’ would be more appropriate.”
 
* “What a pair of trollops, no wonder he didn’t hang around!!”
 
* “If I was him I’d be well embarrassed … these two are ugly!!”
 
* “I admire the guy for getting 12 girls pregnant, and he isn’t even good-looking. Wish I had his charm.”
 
* “CHAV-TASTIC!”
 
 I think we need to get Jeremy Kyle involved.
 
*****
 
The final word on the subject goes to Dee Austin who sarcastically suggested: “At least the kids will have a big family network.”
 
*****
 
We had another wonderfully busy weekend at Pussycats. Yet again the honeys with the big bazookas happily posed for some photos and you can see them for yourself in the gallery at www.djwanker.com – I’m always quite happy to appeal to the lowest common denominator of society if it means extra hits on my website!
 
I was thrilled that Phil, my best mate (in the world… ever!), popped into Cats after work on Saturday. He’s never been to Telford to see me DJ (it’ll be seven years next April since I started) because he’s also a DJ and, being very good at his job, is always in demand.
 
He was spinning the tunes in Vox Bar in the town centre last Saturday and absolutely loved it. You really should go and check him out – before heading to Cats afterwards, obviously! Welcome to the team, Phil. I hope the customers and management appreciate him as much as I do.
 
But TMDAIKY… <private joke>
 
PS. Add him on Facebook – Phil Mansfield – he’s on my friends list.
 
*****
 
Notice of an event at Pussycats – on Friday 20th November we’ll be raising money for Children In Need with a themed night called: “Sexy Pajama Party.”
 
That is not a spelling mistake from me. Obviously it should be ‘pyjama’ as we’re English and not American but the man at the helm of our slick PR machine (who I mustn’t name because I’ll get untold grief) says it was a deliberate cock-up “to attract attention.”
 
I did point out to him that, judging by Facebook, most people in Telford can’t spell anyway.
 
*****

Men vs Women – Part 3 of 6

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 
Part four in this series next week.
 
*****
 
From the Daily Telegraph: “The number of jobless university leavers is predicted to have reached the 100,000 mark, up from 70,000 last year, when the latest unemployment figures are released.”
 
I can think of one who can’t be arsed to get a job after university because they’re a complete and utter… [edited]
 
*****
 
Telly news.
 
Benidorm has completed its run and every single hour-long episode was sheer brilliance. Whether they can manufacture another series looks unlikely but you never know.
 
I loved it last weekend when Madge was being ferried about in the back of the vehicle, just as the Pope would, with Gregorian chanting on the show’s soundtrack, and the local Catholics started waving and worshipping… Madge, smoking a fag, flicked them the V-sign.
 
Much funnier to see than for me to try and explain. Yes, you had to be there. Sort of.
 
The best visual gag of the whole series for me was in the first episode where Mel was promoting a mobility scooter for people with, erm, a tendency to poo at the wrong time. The advert on the back was this:
 
“COMING SOON

Don’t get caught between two stools !”
 
Blink and you miss it. Genius.
 
*****
 
Have I mentioned how much I’m looking forward to Dr Who this Sunday?
 
*****
 
From the letters page at Viz magazine: “My granddad keeps forgetting where his allotment is. I think he’s lost the plot.”
 
*****
 
I’m probably the last person to stick up for Gordon Brown but he’s had a lot of unfair criticism this week about an error he made in a letter to the mother of a soldier killed in action. Yes, it’s extremely sad when anyone dies in the line of armed duty and we all have great sympathy for parents who lose their children but if I’d lost someone, I’d have bigger things to worry about than a slight grammatical error.
 
Let’s retain a sense of perspective.
 
He took the time to send a handwritten letter to a bereaved mother. She went to the papers to complain and he apologised. He might be an utter useless gimp for everything else but to clout him with a big stick over this is just unnecessary.
 
*****
 
Don’t worry – the usual Brown-bashing will return again soon.
 
*****
 
And finally… a very, very, very bad taste joke.
 
The Queen Mother bumps into Princess Diana up in Heaven and says: “Hello dear, I see you’ve been rewarded for all the important charity work you did while you were on Earth. Would it be possible for me to get a Halo just like yours?”
 
Diana replies: “Fuck off nan, it’s a steering wheel!”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Cheers for now,
Geoff / DJ Wanker

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In 1976 I travelled to Europe for the first time to Sorrento in Italy with my dad who obligingly stepped in at the last moment following a bit of romantic trouble when just before departure my girlfriend went off with the head reporter from the local newspaper.  Very soon after that we patched things up and in October the following year I went to Spain with my fiancée, Linda.  We could have gone practically anywhere we liked, so long as it was within our restricted budget of course, but we choose to go to Benidorm on the Costa Blanca for two whole weeks and we selected the Don Juan hotel on the Avenida del Mediterráneo, just behind the Levante beach because Linda had been there some time before with her parents and had liked it.

Benidorm is one of the most popular tourist locations in Europe, today six million people go there each year on holiday but in 1977 it was even more popular and that year attracted the most holidaymakers ever and over twelve million people poured into the city.  That peak in numbers has never been matched since and it is unlikely that it ever will be.  In the early 1960s my grandparents visited Benidorm several times in the Freddy Laker days of package holidays and came home with exotic stories and suitcases full of unusual souvenirs, flamenco dancing girls, matador dolls and velour covered bulls that decorated their living room and collected dust for the next twenty years or so. 

The name Costa Blanca was allegedly conceived as a promotional name by British European Airways when it first launched its air service between London and Valencia in 1957 at the start of the package holiday boom.  At that time the cost of the fare was £38.80p which may not sound a lot now but to put that into some sort of perspective in 1960 my dad took a job at a salary of £815 a year so that fare would have been about two and a half weeks wages!  The average UK weekly wage today is £450 so on that basis a flight to Spain at British European Airline prices would now be £1,100.  Thank goodness then for Ryanair because I flew to Seville last year for just £30 return which represents just about three hours work today in comparison with what of been about a hundred hours in 1960.

It was avery foggy morning the day we flew from Luton Airport in Bedfordshire (made famous by Lorraine Chase in the 1970s Campari television adverts)  on Monarch Airlines which was in the days before low cost airlines when flying still felt exclusive and glamorous.  The pilots were all ex RAF and called Toby or Edward and the air hostesses were tall and elegant, wore smart uniforms and looked like catwalk models.  The seats were comfortable with generous leg space and there was a free meal thrown in.  These were in the days before terrorist threats so children used to get to go and visit the captain and crew in the cockpit and for adults there was a drinks trolley at below UK prices (today a cup of tea on Ryanair costs £3) and a genuine duty free service for spirits, tobacco and perfume.

As an experience flying has mostly deteriorated in quality since 1976 except in one important area where there has been massive improvement.  In 1976 passengers that smoked were still allowed to light up a cigarette on board which meant that because of the way aeroplanes recirculate air in the cabin everyone else had to as well.  To be fair they did all have to sit at the back of the aircraft, a bit like Dante’s Inferno, and puff away together but after a couple of hours there was a horrible acrid odour of stale tobacco and the entire cabin smelt like an unemptied ash tray.  Actually it wasn’t just cigarettes but pipes and cigars as well and even the cigarette smokers complained about this.  Pipes and cigars were banned in 1979 but a ban on cigarettes had to wait for another ten years.  As there has been no smoking now on planes for twenty years I am always curious why arm rests still have ash trays in them because the only purpose they serve now is a place for ignorant people to stick their discarded chewing gum.

The flight lasted a little over two hours and then we landed at Alicante airport about sixty kilometres from Benidorm and as this was in a time before Spain’s modern motorway network the coach took the old coast road north through a string of small towns and villages.  Just past Villajoyosa on the coast and the one thousand four hundred metre high Puig Campana Mountain to the west  we snatched our first glimpses of Benidorm out of the right hand side windows of the coach and we could see a ribbon of golden sand at the fringe of the magnificent bay and behind it a strip of concrete skyscrapers towering into the blue sky above.

Once in Benidorm we went through the tedious process of dropping people off at their hotels and as the Don Juan was at the far end of the eastern Levante beach we had to wait quite a while to arrive there.  Thirty years or so later the Don Juan isn’t there anymore and I might be mistaken here but it might now be the refurbished Don Pancho.  It certainly looks similar and it is just about the right location.  If I am correct it is only two hundred metres from the Hotel Los Pelicarnos on the Calle Girona, which is famous for being the setting of the TV comedy show, Benidorm.

The Don Juan was a typical 1970s Spanish seaside resort hotel with a cavernous reception and public area, a dining room that was little more than a school canteen and an entertainment room for evening activity.  The hotel was an eighteen storey concrete and chrome building and we had a room on the front about half way to the top with a good view out to sea.  In the 1970s rooms could only be described as functional because these were the days before mini-bars, TVs, internet wifi access and complimentary cosmetics in the bathroom but it was nice enough and it was going to be our home for two weeks.

Later that day we had our first evening meal at the Don Juan and it has to be said that this was by no stretch of the imagination a gourmet experience.  The menu was limited and consisted mostly of the sort of food that British holidaymakers, unfamiliar with Spanish cuisine, would have insisted upon in 1977, beef burgers or chicken, chips and overcooked vegetables with everything, and for sweet it was crème caramel or ice cream and it was the same choice for the whole of the fortnight.  One thing was certain – it was unlikely that we would be introduced to traditional Spanish food on this holiday.  To be fair however anything ethnic may have come as shock because like most English people I wasn’t ready for tortilla and gazpacho and although I am now rather partial to tapas and paella I had certainly never been introduced to these Iberian gastronomic delights in 1977.

If the twelve million visitors to Benidorm came in equal numbers each week, which of course they didn’t, then there would have been nearly a quarter of a million visitors to entertain every night and after dinner we walked to the old town, which even in October was bursting at the seams with visitors wandering around the bars getting lashed and the shops buying things they didn’t really need.  In 1977 most of Spain was still shaking off the restrictions of the old Franco regime, in June there had been the first elections to the national Parliament since 1936, but Benidorm was way ahead of the rest of the country.

It was loud, brash and noisy and so was the hotel when we returned later on.  There was entertainment on the ground floor and even though we were at least six floors up the noise from the disco could be heard all the way up to our room.  The booming of the bass kept us awake and so did the loud German couple sitting on the balcony of the room next door who were having a conversation with someone in Hamburg!  Sleeping has never really been a problem for me and I eventually managed to drop off but sometime in the early hours of the morning I woke up and found Linda on the balcony tired and sobbing and desperately in need of sleep.  I think that it was at this point that I wondered just how we were going to survive fourteen nights in Benidorm!

Gissa om jag blev förvånad igår eftermiddag när det började snöa. Jag är inte speciellt glad i snö, det har nog mest att göra med att jag bor i skåne, här kommer snön, ligger kvar några dagar för att sedan förvandlas till blask. För ganska så många år sedan så bodde jag i Örnsköldsvik och arbetade som ”evangelist” i Sionförsamlingen i Gullänget. Det var ett spännande år, ja, nästan ett år, då jag fick uppleva en riktig vinter för första gången, där låg snön faktiskt kvar efter att det hade snöat och den låg kvar hela vintern. Jag lärde mig åka slalom köra snöskoter och en massa andra vinteraktiviteter. När vintern är på det viset, då gillar till ock med jag vintern.

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Sionförsamlingen i Gullänget

Sionförsamlingen i Gullänget var den första församlingen som jag arbetade i, det var ganska så utmanande att som 20 åring med väldigt lite kött på benen helt plötsligt vara en av dem som skulle predika i kyrkan, jag hade aldrig predikat tidigare och hade bara gått en femveckors bibelskola på Götabro, så jag var inte så teologiskt bevandrad. Jag var inte ensam utan hade en kolega som var 2 år äldre än mig. Vi fick göra allt från att predika och undervisa ungdomarna i kyrkan till att åka ut på ålderdomshem och sjunga för dom gamla. När jag tänker efter så var det helt otroligt att jag vågade. Jag stannade knappt ett år i Ö-vik.

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Skandinaviska turist kyrkan i Benidorm

Efter, Ö-vik så åkte jag till Spanien och var med i ett Team i skandinaviska turist kyrkan i Benidorm, där var jag i ca 4 månader. Det var lite skillnad att komma från snöiga Ö-vik till varma Spanien, men eftersom jag älskar värme så var det inget problem. Vi i teamet tog hand om ett café och på kvällarna var vi ute och pratade med turister om Jesus. Nu när jag ändå har börjat att skriva lita vad jag sysslat med så kan jag lika gärna fortsätta med att berätta att när jag kom hem från Spanien så gick jag ytterligare en fem veckors bibelskola för att efter det börja min andra anställning i en församling i Krokek, Kolmården.

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Krokek, Kolmården.

Det var en mycket händelserik tid, 1 1/2 år, som jag ser tillbaka på med både glädje och en viss sorg. Jag hade bara jobbat i några veckor när vi fick ett Team på besök, jag och teamet besökte skolan i Krokek och berättade om vår tro, det resulterade till att vi fick massor av ungdomar till våra ungdomsverksamhet som vi hade tillsammans med pingstkyrkan. En bra kväll så kunde det nog komma 70 ungdomar. Efter en tid så var det en grupp av dom som blev mer intresserade av vår tro, så vi samlade dom i missionshuset där jag jobbade och bodde. Vi fick be med 16 av dom till frälsning, vilket var helt underbart. Vi, jag och min kollega hade väldigt lite träning i hur man undervisar ny kristna ungdomar, och stod nu helt plötsligt med en hell massa utmaningar. Dom här ungdomarna kunde komma dag som natt till min lägenhet, det gick nog inte en dag utan att några dök upp. Vid ett tillfälle hade jag en av killarna boende hos mig för att han hade blivit utslängd från sin familj. Trots alla våra försök att undervisa ungdomarna så tappade vi dom, vi hade en hand full kvar. Det var den största sorgen att se dom lämna kyrkan.

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Studier och ny församling

Jag kände vid det tillfället att det var dags för mig att börja studera teologi så jag började på Götabro Missionskola som det hette på den tiden. Tanken var att jag skulle plugga i tre år för att bli pastor, men jag avslutade mina studier efter ett och ett halvt år. Jag längtade för mycket till att arbeta i en församling och tog anställning i Sionförsamlingen i Helsingborg. Där stannade jag nästan i två år. Jag fortsatte sedan med att utbilda mig till grafiker vilket ledde mig till Malmö, där jag har stannat med undantag för att jag var missionär i Turkiet i två år. Ja, nu vet du lite mer om mig.

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Phil Whickham – Grace

The sky is grey and the light is far
The sea is a rage within my heart
I turn my sight to the crashing waves
I cry in the night just to be saved

I need eyes to be my guide
I need a voice that’s louder than mine
I need hope I need You
Cause I can’t do this alone

Grace I call Your name
Oh won’t Your smile fall over me
I’m cracked and dry on hands and knees
Oh sweet grace rain down on me I need You grace

I pray for dawn a new day to live
I pray for mercy only Jesus gives
Though darkness falls and a million cry
I believe over all there’s a greater light shining for us

Come down and save me

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Ha en trevlig dag!

Se ha celebrado en Benidorm el XIII Foro Internacional de Turismo. Con el lema “Revolucionar la Publicidad Turística: Fórmulas Creativas y Eficientes“, las jornadas se centraron en la comercialización del turismo (destinos, establecimientos, etc) mediante el uso intensivo de las herramientas de la Sociedad de la Información y la utilización “cualitativa” de la publicidad, con propuestas innovadoras.

Los ponentes, especializados la mayoría en el sector de la publicidad, abogaron el uso de Internet como vía de promoción y comercialización de los productos turísticos en toda su extensión. Por supuesto todo a través del prisma de la web 2.0, con las redes sociales como máximos exponentes de los nuevos tiempos.

En el apartado de la promoción “tradicional” a través de la publicidad, fue unánime el llamamiento a la creatividad y la adopción de fórmulas arriesgadas como único camino hacia el éxito de una campaña en un entorno cada día más competitivo.

Otra idea muy interesante fue la necesidad de conjugar la promoción con el desarrollo de un producto turístico consecuente con lo que se promociona, adecuado a las necesidades del cliente y capaz de colmar sus expectativas.

Presentación de idea finalista en el II Concurso de Ideas Pedro Zaragoza

En fechas cercanas se organizó desde en el CDT de Gandia, impulsado por la Concejalía de Turismo de Gandia, un curso sobre comercialización de empresas mixtas de turismo.

Este curso ahondaba en lo expuesto en el Foro de Benidorm, apostando por la innovación en la promoción turística, el uso de Internet y particularmente del fenómeno de las redes sociales, y la necesidad de que el destino respalde mediante una adecuada experiencia de disfrute, lo anticipado en la publicidad.

Javier, del Grupo Skala, en un momento del curso sobre empresas mixtas de turismo

27 Oct 2009 A British holidaymaker was repeatedly raped while being held captive by a Romanian man near the popular resort of Benidorm, in Spain, police said.

The young woman, from Birmingham, met a man on a night out in the seaside resort and returned to his home in the countryside ten miles away, police said.

“The victim was attacked in a country house in Villajoyosa, where she was held for more than three hours and where her attacker forced her several times to have sex,” Spanish police said in a statement.

When she was released, the woman took a train back to Benidorm and reported the crime to police.

A police source said: “She met the man while out having a few drinks and she went back to the house voluntarily.

“But when she was back there the man turned on her and raped her repeatedly.”

A 42-year-old Romanian man was arrested on suspicion of rape on Friday.

Benidorm attracts around 1 million British visitors a year. It boasts around 600 bars including 70 British theme pubs and replicas of Wigan and Blackpool piers, as well as 10 fish and chip shops.

Benidorm es, sin duda, el destino más elegido por las personas de la tercera edad. Y tiene su lógica: hoteles baratos donde pueden reservar una pensión que le dé facilidades, como la Media o Pensión completa. Esta última suele ser la más demandada porque directamente les incluye el alojamiento y las tres comidas: desayuno, almuerzo y cena. Además, nada más terminar de cenar los hoteles tienen como costumbre ofrecer un espectáculo o una orquesta con la que estarán encantados, pues disfrutarán bailando y pasando un rato bastante agradable.

El casco antiguo de Benidorm está situado en la zona de Levante y es donde más se respira espíritu joven. Por eso, los mayores prefieren la zona totalmente opuesta, que es, Poniente, donde están las mejores playas y se puede estar alejado del bullicio de Levante. La zona comercial está en la zona del Rincón del Loix, donde encontrarán desde un restaurante hasta un pequeño centro comercial. Desde Poniente, pasando por Levante y hasta llegar al Rincón atraviesan una avenida muy larga, llamada Avenida del Mediterráneo donde hay hoteles, tiendas, apartamentos, restaurantes, etc.

Desde el pequeño Manhattan una nueva alida se une a nuestra causa: Back Stage Popshop. Una tienda dedicada exclusivamente a la cultura pop y sus enseres donde podréis encontrar las mejores firmas en cuanto a camisetas, gadgets y chapas se refiere, claro.

Se encuentran en calle La Palma, 37 – local 1.

Puedes ver ejemplos de sus productos en su web: www.backstage-popshop.com

Vuelve el  pop.

Situado a 250 Mts de la playa de Levante y 800 Mts del Casco antiguo y centro de Benidorm, está el hotel Presidente. Construcción de ocho plantas que dispone de 292 habitaciones dobles.
Ubicado en una de las zonas de ocio de Benidorm.
Dispone un hall de entrada con ascensores y una recepción abierta todo el día.
Se puede disfrutar en sus instalaciones de: el salón cafetería Gallery Bar, la sala de baile Boîte Presidente, el restaurante climatizado tipo buffet y salón de televisión con pantalla de 52 pulgadas. Además, le ofrece acceso a Internet y parking (con cargo).

Amplias habitaciones con.
* Baño completo
* Secador
* Aire Acondicionado
* Calefacción central
* TV. En color Vía Satélite
* Terraza
* Caja fuerte en alquiler
* Teléfono con acceso internacional
* Cambio de Sabanas cada 3 días
* Cambio de toallas diario
* Limpieza diaria
* Jabón y champú a la llegada
* Habitaciones con Hidromasaje con suplemento (consultar)

Mas informacion Hotel Presidente

Penon de Ifach Calpe

Today’s picture is of the Penon de Ifach, a huge rock formation which rises from the Bay of Calpe on the northern Costa Blanca, Spain. A protected area and nature reserve, the Penon has some rare speces of flora. It is possible to walk to te top by way of a tunnel, and get aazing views along the coastline. Calpe is a popular holiday destination, with fine sandy beaches, it is located to the north of Benidorm nd Alicante.

Epiddemix feat Energy Touch

Number 1 DJ

Contact Information – Email: epiddemix@gmail.com

Phone: +44 7737 143 181

Coming to London this fall… The club track that has been taking the summer by storm. “Number 1  DJ” by Epiddemix. Now features an exclusive remix by Kevin ‘K-Boy’ Brooks!

Epiddemix feat Energy Touch: Number 1 DJ

1- Club mix – Remix by Kevin Brooks

Listen to the track here:

myspace.com/epiddemixmusic

“Number 1 DJ” is the first official single by Epiddemix, a London-based collective of eclectic producers mixing latest house trends with R&B flavours and a hint of French grooves. The collective is currently working on “The Album”, fusing house tracks with R&B, Hip-Hop and Reggae artists.

“Number 1 DJ” features the guest vocals of the talented Energy Touch, a Jamaican reggae artist, recently settled in the UK and currently working on his own reggae project with the Epiddemix collective.

The single also features an exclusive remix by Kevin ‘K-Boy’ Brooks, who has already produced club mixes for: Kylie Minoque, Liberty X and Jamiroquai among many others and worked alongside Dave Lee to produce several top ten hits including Jakatta – “American Dream” and 911 – “More than a woman“.

“The response to this track has been phenomenal,” says Epiddemix founder David Dixon. “DJs around the world have taken the track to their decks! It’s been a privilege to work withKevin ‘K-Boy’ Brooks. This is part of the Epiddemix ethic: mixing raw underground talent with some uplifting party beats.”

This huge club track, guaranteed to get your party jumping, has been gaining massive airplay across the clubs this summer from Aya Napa to Miami and is now set to take London by storm. The track is already in heavy rotation across the airwaves, play listed on Kiss fm – Portugal, Rinse.fm, Touch fm, Forcefm.net, Phatbeats.net; Livefmuk.com and Dejavu.fm.

For more details, please email: epiddemix@gmail.com

Playa Levante Benidorm

Hi all, today’s picture is a view of Playa Levante taken from the mirador in the old town of Benidorm. The beach looks quiet at this time (but it was taken in February!), most of the year it would be packed solid with holidaymakers enjoying the sea, sand and sun (and sangria!).

The next Valencia International Meetings on Bayesian Statistics is unfortunately taking place in Benidorm, State of Valencia, next June 3-8. I write “unfortunately” because the place has no charm at all, being, as many coastal towns, ruined by mass tourism that led to buildings like the one on the picture and to an unsustainable ratio of tourists to local inhabitants… Quite obviously, I do not mean to blame the organisers of the meeting for this choice as, given the attendance of the meeting (600? 700?) and the popular request to have it on the beach!, there is no alternative if everyone is to stay within the same hotel in order to keep the old Valencia spirit (of sharing ideas and arguing till the early hours) alive to some extent. It is also unfortunately the last meeting of its kind, as José Bernardo is retiring after having handled those meetings since 1979! A whole 30 years of dedication to  Bayesian ideas and ideals. Many thanks to José for making the meetings the reference priors of all meetings!!! This means that, while Valencia International Meetings on Bayesian Statistics will continue to be organised, these meetings will become an ISBA “brand” and may end up being geographically if not topically uncorrelated with the State of Valencia! I am definitely hoping for Valencia 10 to take place in Reykjavik, Iceland, Interlaken, Switzerland, or Torre del Paine, Chile, if only to celebrate José Bernardo and his love of mountains (beside catering to my tastes!).

An important practical piece of information about the next Valencia International Meetings on Bayesian Statistics is that the deadline for submitting papers and posters is December 1, this year, and that you need to be a current ISBA member by the time you submit your paper or poster. Note also the registration fees of 485 euros (excluding lodging) that may change your mind about attending the meeting! Presumably, there will be some student support available.