Amiguinhos, vocês devem se lembrar (ou não) de Nigel Goodman pelo seu stand-up sobre Educação Sexual, Changeman e Cinemark, postado aqui na Mãe a alguns dias.

A alguns dias (dica de camarada GH Stramon), recebi um link para seu blog, que descobri ser tão genial quanto o stand-up. Além de assuntos diversos, stand-ups, fotos e besteirinhas, o Sr. Goodman por várias vezes posta dissertações sobre os mais variados temas, e acreditem quando eu digo que é GÊNIO.

Eu reproduziria abaixo seu genial texto sobre Educação Sexual, porém prefiro mantê-lo na integridade do lar (com a genial piada no link em vermelho). Portanto, deixem de preguiça e visitem o original AQUI.

Film review (with gratuitous political commentary)

In stills from Robert Zemeckis’ version of “A Christmas Carol,” Ebenezer Scrooge, voiced by Jim Carrey, is confronted by the tortured ghost of his deceased business partner Jacob Marley and is shown by the Ghost of Christmas Past the love that he gave up for the pursuit of money.

God bless Robert Zemeckis for bringing us “A Christmas Carol” at the same time that Glenn Beck (assuming that he really writes all of the books that are released under his name) has released his children’s picture book The Christmas Sweater (yes, I know, it’s frightening, a children’s book by the likes of Glenn Beck; if it is not a sign of the coming Apocalypse, then I don’t know what is).

Full admission: I would never purchase one of Glenn Beck’s books. I would never financially support a stupid white man, a dry drunk who claims that he is all about traditional values. Yes, Glenn Beck wants to drag all of us, kicking and screaming, back to the good old days — you know, the days when stupid white men like he, drunk on power, had complete control of everything, and we uppity women, non-whites, non-heterosexuals and non-Christians knew our place. (Um, yeah, that’s why if I had a child, I wouldn’t allow him or her to possess a copy of anything by Glenn Beck. Because I truly care about family values, and white supremacism, racism, misogyny, homphobia, xenophobia and “Christo”fascism are not family values.)

Anyway, although I’d never read anything by Beck, amazon.com does give this description of The Christmas Sweater (the full “novel” that the children’s picture book, released a year after the “novel” was released, is based upon) :

In Beck’s debut novel, the conservative radio and TV host makes a weak attempt at a holiday classic in the vein of It’s a Wonderful Life.

Despite his single mother’s financial hardships, 12-year-old Eddie is certain this Christmas he will receive his much-desired Huffy bike. To his dismay, what he finds under the tree is “a stupid, handmade, ugly sweater” that his mother carefully modeled after those she can’t afford at Sears (one of four places she keeps part-time jobs).

Eddie tosses the sweater and insults his mother before the two go visit his grandparents at their farmouse. On the drive home, though, Eddie’s exhausted mother falls asleep at the wheel and crashes, dying instantly. Sent to live with his grandparents, an increasingly bitter and angry Eddie lashes out at his accommodating guardians, engages in typical teenage angst and grapples with belief in God.

For all his focus on traditional family virtues like respect, love and forgiveness, Beck’s lightweight parable cruises on predictability, repetition and sentimentality.

That’s priceless: A materialistic baby boomer like Glenn Beck is going to lecture our kiddies hypocritically that they shouldn’t want stuff. Like the likes of Beck would pick the homemade sweater over the Huffy bike. And it’s incredibly and sickly ironic that Beck and his Fox “News” fully support the system of wage slavery in which a single mother would have to work more than one job, yet here is Beck writing about the tragedy of a single mother who has to work more than one job.

And what kind of kid’s book has the protagonist’s mother dying in a car wreck? Beck is one sick and twisted piece of shit, and I wouldn’t want my kids reading something by a sick and twisted piece of shit.

But I digress.

There is egomaniac Glenn Beck, who likens himself to Thomas Paine — yes, he actually released a book actually titled Glenn Beck’s Common Sense: The Case Against an Out-of-Control Government, Inspired by Thomas Paine — and then there is the real deal, Charles Dickens.

Wikipedia notes that Dickens, who lived from 1812 to 1870, “was the most popular English novelist of the Victorian era and one of the most popular of all time. He created some of literature’s most memorable characters. His novels and short stories have never gone out of print. A concern with what he saw as the pressing need for social reform is a theme that runs throughout his work.”

Yup. While Beck writes a story about a boy who must feel awfully guilty that he wanted a bicycle over the sweater made for him by his mother, who works in sweat shops that Beck and Fox “News” support and who then dies in a grisly car wreck, Dickens was about doing something about the sweat shops.

Dickens was not about lecturing the downtrodden to just shut the fuck up and thank God for whatever they do have, which, from what I can tell, is the central message of The Christmas Sweater, a message that the plutocrats and corporatocrats are only too happy to have their Darth Vader in Glenn Beck deliver to our impressionable kiddies. (Further, why do the corporatists like Beck incessantly advertise their products and then criticize anyone for actually wanting one of their products, like a Huffy bike? They can’t fucking have it both ways.)

“A Christmas Carol” is, let’s face it, socialist.

The main character of “A Christmas Carol” is the Dick-Cheney-like Ebenezer Scrooge, who, when he sees the damage that his miserliness has caused others, does a 180 and decides to stop stealing other people’s money from them via the legalized thievery that is called “capitalism” (a.k.a. “just business”) and decides to give their rightful wealth back to them instead.

That’s hardly the Christmas message that the likes of “Fox” News’ Glenn Beck want to put out there, that the plutocrats should share the wealth that they have stolen and thus ease the suffering of the many around them. Why, that’s — socialist!

(Of course, Jesus Christ himself preached, over and over again, in black and white in the New Testament, about the evils of the rich [my favorite being his declaration that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven] and the virtue of helping the less fortunate, so Jesus must have been a socialist, too. And doesn’t Christmas come from Jesus Christ?)

But we can’t have a socialist/“socialist” — that is, a truly Christian — Christmas message put out there, so it’s the likes of Beck, with his fucking Christmas sweater, who are to save the day for the ultra-super-rich.

OK, my political commentary is over, so let me dive into Robert Zemeckis’ “A Christmas Carol.” I just wanted to put it into some sociopolitical context first.

Zemeckis, who brought us the “Back to the Future” trilogy and “Forrest Gump,” lately has been giving us computer-aided fare, with “The Polar Express,” “Beowulf” and now “A Christmas Carol.”

I’ve seen all three of those films, and, like Roger Ebert declared that he would do in his review of Zemeckis’ “A Christmas Carol,” I won’t regurgitate the plot of “A Christmas Carol,” which everyone already knows, but I will talk about the technological aspects of Zemeckis’ latest.

Zemeckis’ craftspeople are getting better at capturing realistic human expressions (especially human eyes), but they’re not fully there yet. I found the creepy unnaturalness of the characters’ CGI eyes in “The Polar Express” to be too much to even be able to get into the film (which, if memory serves, I saw at an IMAX theater, so it was even bigger and even more unintentionally scary).

“Beowulf” was an improvement on the CGI technology that Zemeckis uses these days, but “Beowulf” suffers from a poor storyline (isn’t Beowulf what high schoolers dread they’ll have to read?) and a poor screenplay (as well as from testosterone overload, a la “300”). Of all of the stories that Zemeckis could have adapted, why Beowulf?

No, we didn’t need another “A Christmas Carol,” either. You’re right. We didn’t. Except that we probably did. In these BushCheneyCorp-induced times of economic collapse and the subsequent national environment of fear and uncertainty that that collapse has caused, it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of the fact that the reason that there is so much poverty and suffering around us is that there are so many Ebenezer Scrooges around us.

Of course, Dickens’ story relies on four spirits to induce Ebenezer Scrooge to change his ways. In our case, we can’t count on spirits preventing the plutocrats from completely destroying our nation (although I must wonder if the ghost of Ronald Reagan would replace the spirit of Dickens’ Jacob Marley were a ghost to appear before the Scrooges of today). We, the people, might have to take matters into our own hands — the threat of which is why we have such things as “Fox” News and its henchmen like Glenn Beck.

(There I go again…)

Anyway, Zemeckis’ “A Christmas Carol” has the eye thing down, at least where it comes to the character of Ebenezer Scrooge. Zemeckis’ CGI Scrooge is quite humanlike, but it’s the other characters, especially the extras in the streets, on whom the CGI technicians presumedly spent less time and effort, that have that unnatural, not-quite-human look that we have seen in “The Polar Express” and “Beowulf.”

Zemeckis makes the burly Ghost of Christmas Present surprisingly hunky, replete with a copious amount of apparently proudly displayed strawberry-blond chest hair (although apparently Zemeckis was fairly faithful to the appearance of the Ghost of Christmas Present as he appeared in Dickens’ original novel), and Zemeckis interprets the Ghost of Christmas Past interestingly — as a human-candle hybrid, with the head of the ghost being the flame of a white candle that occasionally flickers as the ghost speaks (which I, like Ebert did, found to be an interesting special effect).

Much of Zemeckis’ “A Christmas Carol” is like a roller-coaster ride, with the latter three spirits zipping Ebenezer here and there, over rooftops and landscapes, in order to show him where he fucked up his life in the past, how his miserliness has harmed others in the present, and how his miserliness will affect him in the future if he doesn’t change his ways drastically.

The greatest liberty that Zemeckis took with “A Christmas Carol” is the segment in which he has Scrooge shrink to the size of a mouse during his time with the Ghost of Christmas Future. At first I took umbrage with this liberty — Dickens never shrunk Scrooge! – and other reviewers have said that they didn’t like it, but Zemeckis at least ultimately makes it work, especially when the mini-Scrooge finds himself in the home of his impoverished maid, who is talking to her husband about Scrooge after his death.  

Jim Carrey (who also gave us the live-action Grinch, recall) did an excellent job voicing Ebenezer Scrooge and the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. (Well, OK, he is credited with being the voice of the grim-reaper-like Ghost of Christmas Future, but I don’t recall that that ghost says a word…) Why Carrey has taken so much shit from reviewers, proclaiming in their sheep-like unison that One Jim Carrey is enough!, I don’t know. Jealousy over Carrey’s talents, maybe?

“A Christmas Carol,” although fully titled “Disney’s A Christmas Carol” (shudder – that a corporation would co-opt the anti-corporate Dickens is sickening), probably isn’t for small children. I found the slack-jawed ghost of Jacob Marley to be at least moderately disturbing, so I can’t imagine that most small children wouldn’t find it to be even more disturbing.

But most older children and adults – except for the plutocrats and corporatocrats and their supporters, of course, who equate the easing of poverty with “socialism” and who would regard Ebenezer Scrooge as a Great American Capitalist Hero – will enjoy Zemeckis’ “A Christmas Carol,” not only for its technological achievements (and you must see it in 3-D if it’s playing near you in 3-D), but also for the fact that it remains faithful to the spirit of Dickens’ short novel — which is the true spirit of Christmas.

Fuck Glenn Beck and his fucking Christmas sweater.

My grade: A

I thought I could have studied more; taken the subject GRE more seriously. Not awfully unprepared, but, you know, just not exactly ready for it.

WRONG.

There was no “ready” for this. No amount of studying could have prepared me. That test was probably the biggest waste of time, money and effort. I don’t think more than two “must know” pieces of information were on there: The Canterbury Tales and Beowulf. Not one notecard written in a subtle shade of you-better-fucking-know-this red was there. No winged chariot,  widening gyre, passionate shepherd or a drop of water, anywhere! Instead, I got a fucked up ghost story, an obscure quote from a gay dead author, and a racist basketball. And one Restoration Comedy.

Yeah, some stuff I studied was on there, but I didn’t answer one-fourth to one-third of the questions. That’s somewhere around 60 questions. Poor time management was troublesome, but I didn’t even recognize an alarming number of authors or works listed. I would only be less ready if I had attempted open-heart surgery for those three hours instead.

Being told to put my No.2 pencil down was an anxiety-ridden moment indeed.

But hey, it’s done. I survived, Sarah survived, and we had a blast at The Full Monty in Minnesota. Plus this epic failure eliminates the number of schools I plan to apply to. Sweet. More money to celebrate my academic anticlimax.

Sure, the fact that “Winter Dreams” is a short story and not a book means I’m fudging the rules a little bit for today’s entry in 15 Books, but such is life. Hit the jump for reflections on what is quite possibly my all-time favorite short story, plus a link to the full text.  (This entry is pretty heavy on the autobiography, so I apologize in advance.  Bear with me, and I’ll have something lighter for you tomorrow.)

12: “Winter Dreams” by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Ten years ago today, I became an atheist. “Winter Dreams” is a big part of why that didn’t stick. The short story may not be one of Fitzgerald’s greatest works, and I certainly don’t think it’s his best, but it caught me at just the right moment to be completely arresting. Even though I know I should probably find its message heavy-handed, “Winter Dreams” is proof to me that a good story really has the power to do more than just entertain–it can sway a person’s thoughts and shape their opinions. And though that is a fact that advertisers, marketers, public relations professionals and politicians all know and use, the best and most honest stories often work to completely unexpected effects.

“Winter Dreams” is one of those stories.

While I liked Stephen King and Michael Chrichton as much as any teenaged guy, I think that by the time I was 16 I had also been exposed to a relatively fair amount of timeless narrative art: I had loved Beowulf from the age of 10 (more on that later in the list), Casablanca was already well on its way to supplanting The Crow as my favorite movie, and I had seen just enough Shakespeare to have a favorite production of As You Like It (a Connecticut-based community theater troupe in a small classroom surrounded by the audience with no props, sets or seats).  But until I was 16, I only knew F. Scott Fitzgerald as “the guy who wrote that book that Andy Kaufman read at Arizona State.”

I was sitting in English class when I read “Winter Dreams,” during one of those time-wasting stretches where a teacher pads out their lesson plan by assigning in-class reading under the pretense that when everyone is done we will discuss what we read, with everyone tacitly promising the teacher to ignore the fact that we all know half the class won’t be able to finish reading that quickly. The story follows the aspirations of Dexter Green, and the way in which his pursuit of a beautiful, capricious young woman is driven by his class envy and social insecurities. As a boy, he is embarrassed to have to caddy a golf course for pocket money; as a young man, a moderate success allows him to play the fields he once caddied, and makes him one of a dozen suitors entertained by Judy Jones.  

I identified fairly strongly with Dexter–even though the outer shapes of our ambitions were very different  I felt some kind of affinity at the cores.  Did I feel some form of Dexter’s class insecurity?  Maybe a shadow of it. More resonant with me was his intellectual ambition, as I had always suspected that I wasn’t as smart or insightful as my closest friends.  (I’ve long-since learned to relish that fact, but as a teenager, it made me nervous.)

Eventually, Dexter gets engaged to another girl, but breaks it off at Judy’s behest, only for Judy to leave him a month later.  That would have been stinger enough of an ending, but Fitzgerald took things a decade further:  Dexter leaves his business, fights in World War I, and then comes back and finally finds success in New York.  In the end, a thirty-something Dexter learns offhandedly that Judy Jones’ life is now what he would consider “ordinary,” and her beauty has faded. That’s when Fitzgerald unleashes a fairly blunt four paragraphs that nonetheless achieve something almost alchemic:

He had thought that having nothing else to lose he was invulnerable at last–but he knew that he had just lost something more, as surely as if he had married Judy Jones and seen her fade away before his eyes.

The dream was gone. Something had been taken from him. In a sort of panic he pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes and tried to bring up a picture of the waters lapping on Sherry Island and the moonlit veranda, and gingham on the golf-links and the dry sun and the gold color of her neck’s soft down. And her mouth damp to his kisses and her eyes plaintive with melancholy and her freshness like new fine linen in the morning. Why, these things were no longer in the world! They had existed and they existed no longer.

For the first time in years the tears were streaming down his face. But they were for himself now. He did not care about mouth and eyes and moving hands. He wanted to care, and he could not care. For he had gone away and he could never go back any more. The gates were closed, the sun was gone down, and there was no beauty but the gray beauty of steel that withstands all time. Even the grief he could have borne was left behind in the country of illusion, of youth, of the richness of life, where his winter dreams had flourished.

“Long ago,” he said, “long ago, there was something in me, but now that thing is gone. Now that thing is gone, that thing is gone. I cannot cry. I cannot care. That thing will come back no more.”

It felt as though something I didn’t realize I had been leaning on had been taken away.  I looked up from my big Norton anthology and tried to steady myself in my seat, as I had suddenly become dizzy.  I had identified with Dexter so easily, and yet everything he had built his life and heart on was made to collapse by something as inevitable as youth fading.  That scared me.

It was around that time that I started to make the journey away from atheism through eastern religions toward theism that eventually led me to the gospel, and in hindsight that fact makes perfect sense. But in the moment, that was all subtext.  My only thought at the time was that I needed to learn how to do whatever it was Fitzgerald had just done to me.

Sometimes i wish time would pass by a little more faster than it’s passing by usually. Like for example yesterday and today. Yesterday because i truly hate Tuesdays since the only lesson I like is the British Culture and Civilization every second week. And the rest is just boring crap and stuff i don’t like and i’m not interested in, since i don’t see the point of Phonetics and the more the General Linguistics based in Hungarian literature while studying English and Finnish. The last thing i have ever expected was to have something based on Hungarian literature which i must confess (whether some might consider shameful or not) i hate… and even more those people who study it and think they know everything and they are the smartest people on the Earth…let’s get back to reality.

I can’t believe that there is no train going directly to Tg. Mures. I wanted to visit the next weekend some of my old classmates but there is only train with connection so i have to change them. Ok, this wouldn’t the be the end of the world but the biggest problem is that those are personal trains and they do stop at every small village and go like a snail, so it would take up to 3-4 hours to arrive there. I could go home with that energy i spend to go there, and the distance by the way is half to the one i have ’til home. It’s annoying to not to have a direct train to such a big and medically important city in the country.

Today… went to university for nothing, as usual on most Wednesdays to go to there at 10AM. Waiting for the rest of the people and the teacher i saw some of the 2nd or the 3rd year coming to the class where we were supposed to have the lesson, so me got fed up of it and went to buy the gift to my dad for his birthday on Saturday. yes, that’s the reason why i’m going home again tomorrow afternoon…if i will have some luck and will be able to get my legitimation and traveling tickets from the secretary of the university in time to arrive to the sport lessons too. And then wasn’t in the mood for Beowulf, aka Old/Middle English Literature. And now home and preparing to leave to the university doctor for a SINGLE STAMP for the piece of paper i need to give to my PE teacher me is not wanting to do stupid aerobics… had enough of it while in the 6th grade and been at some of the lessons held.

Peace and see you on Friday!

Starring: Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Bob Hoskins, Colin Firth, Cary Elwes

Director: Robert Zemeckis

Writer(s): Robert Zemeckis

Cinematography: Robert Presley

Original Score: Alan Silvestri

Running Time: 96 Mins.

The term “visionary film-maker” is one that is bandied around a lot, but I would argue if any director can fit that particular description it would be Robert Zemeckis, long has he pushed cinematic boundaries of both story and technique, bringing us films as diverse yet as original as Back to the Future, Cast Away, Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Forrest Gump. All contain, apart from anything else, a technical advancement of some sort and while there is nothing new as such on this take of Dickens’ classic tale it simply forges ahead with the motion-capture technique’s he has pioneered since technologically great but otherwise poor Polar Express, followed by the much better and more adult orientated Beowulf and now this latest attempt at refining the technique and ironing out past criticisms.

So to turn a critical eye on Robert Zemeckis’ A Christmas Carol (under the moniker of Disney which mean’s very little given Disney’s welcome turn to dark matter), there are two things to consider, firstly does this address the problems many (including myself) have with the whole mo-cap technique, and the “dead eyes” condition, and secondly is it actually a worthy adaptation that offers something new to the tale?

Well the answer to the mo-cap problems is an unfortunate yes and no, the dead eyes look really is something that seems impossible to get over, not so much in Scrooge who I’ll come to in a minute, but more with the characters played by Bob Hoskins, Colin Firth and Gary Oldman, all looking like strange waxy versions of themselves, never “real” enough to convince as actual people yet stuck in between in a place that makes them not quite cartoon and exaggerated enough. Carrey, though, in all 7 of his roles including Scrooge at various ages and the three ghosts, overcomes all issues by making his characters real unique creations, it would be a fool to expect Carrey couldn’t do this and given his acting ability extending beyond mere facial movement he allows his body to exaggerate so that he becomes what mo-cap should really be used to create. A way whereby an actor can fully become a character by acting through voice, appearance and movement.

Gary Oldman achieves this to some extent in his Ghost of Marley but the uninspired humble portrayal of a portly Bob Cratchit made me long for Kermit the Frog. If the whole film existed using more exaggerated design of that used for Scrooge there would have been no problems on that front, so halfway there at least Bob! It is a telling sign that Monster House (produced by Zemeckis) was the best use of the technique so far but setting the stall somewhere between Beowulf’s darkness and Polar Express festive spirit was a good idea.

But what of the beloved tale itself, seen so many times only a hermit would not know the story, and if this is anyone’s first foray into the world of Dickens’ they are really in for a treat. Much of the dialogue is pulled directly from the novel and it is a deeply faithful adaptation, the portrayal of London on show is as sumptuous as anyone who has seem the scenery in Zemeckis past two film’s would expect. Brought scarily to life at times it is in these scenes that the 3D aspect is at its best, the camera swooping above rooftops and under gutters, if you could class a cinema experience as a rollercoaster ride, this is it.

Though that in itself presents a slight problem, as the story builds through the ghostly encounters the need for an all action ending was apparently sought meaning we have a breakneck race through the streets of London as a shrunken Scrooge is chased by the horses of Hell and the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. Not quite what Dickens’ had in mind when he wrote the finale I expect! So while it does offer a showcase for the technology it feels slightly out of place where a more intimate encounter (like that in A Muppet Christmas Carol) would have been more welcome, given Carrey’s fantastic performance.

VERDICT

Robert Zemeckis A Christmas Carol is worthy adaptation that lend’s itself to the mo-cap technique well, with Carrey’s Scrooge and the Ghosts being great cinematic creations, though the urge to strive for “realism” in other aspects and an out-of-place breakneck finale let it down slightly, that said I doubt this year will see a better festive offering!

Just saw A Christmas Carol in 3D. I really like Jim Carrey and i thought that he was brilliant in this film and suited the character Scrooge perfectly. He gives a very similar performance to ‘The Grinch’. Jim Carrey plays other characters in the film including the three ghosts. The style of the film was amazing with brilliant lifelike animation.

The film is written and directed by Robert Zemeckis. The film was made using a process called ‘performance capture’, which was also used in his previous films- The Polar Express and Beowulf.

I thought that the film was very dark and in my view would probably scare smaller children. It is closer to the original Charles Dickens novel.

Overall i really enjoyed this film and i thought that it was visually stunning with a brilliant performance by Jim Carrey- well worth seeing to get into the Christmas mood.

Film Rating: 8/10

Beowulf – en gute från 750-talet
Det fornengelska kvädet om Beowulf från omkring 750 e.Kr. (det finns bevarat i en handskrift från 1000-talet) har med Gotland och gutar att göra.

Heurot by Pete Amachree on DeviantART

Det förekommer episoder i det över 3.000 versrader långa eposet som utspelar sig i Danmark och i geaternas land, där bl a geater och svear nämns (svearna kallas förresten inte svear utan skilfingar), och ur dessa menar man sig ha spårat händelser från Nordens historia. Vilka skilfingarna var, står väl inte att rubba, men det är omtvistat om benämningen geat avser götar, jutar eller gutar.

Beowulf is min Nama by Primulatook on DeviantART

Eposet förtäljer att kung Hrodger i Danmark hemsöktes av odjuret Grendel, som nattetid i tolv år tog sig in i hans salar och dödade alla. Den geatiske kämpen Beowulf beslutade sig för att hjälpa Hrodger och seglade med ett antal av sina män till Danmark och brottades med Grendel, slet av honom armen så att odjuret blev tvungen att ge sig i väg.

Nästa natt kom emellertid Grendels mor till salen, dödade Beowulfs närmaste man och gav sig iväg. Men Beowulf följde blodspåren till ett kärr, som han dök ner i och fann trollfamiljens bostad på botten. Beowulf dödade kärringen och tog med sig Grendels huvud som en trofé, belönades härför rikligen och for tillbaka hem till geaternas land där han småningom blev kung och regerade med makt i 50 år.

Gerard Butler i rollen som Beowulf

På äldre dar slogs Beowulf med en drake. Det berodde på att en slav hade stulit något av draken, som till hämnd varje natt ringlade sig ner i bygden och satte eld på någons gård. Beowulf sökte med sina män upp draken, men männen blev så rädda vid åsynen att de sprang och gömde sig. Den ende som kämpade samman med Beowulf var Wiglaf, och på tredje försöket nedlade de draken ehuru Beowulf då var dödligt sårad. När ljuset började skymma för hans ögon överlämnade han makten till Wiglaf och med sina sista ord tackade han Gud för att han kommit över drakens skatt. Beowulf lades i hög, så placerad och stor att den kunde tjäna som riktmärke för sjöfarande.

Eposet har intresserat danska och svenska historiker mycket eftersom en del namn kan vara identiska med Ynglingasagans sveakonungar i Uppsala och andra sagofigurer. Det konstiga namnet Ongenthauw är säkert samma namn som Angantyr, Onela och Eadgils motsvarar namnet på Uppsalakungarna Aun eller Ane och Egil eller Adils.

Men det är som sagt en tvistefråga om geaterna var jutar, götar eller gutar.

- Vad talar för att de var gutar från Gotland?

Jo, när Beowulf seglar till Danmark så gör han det över öppet vatten och det tar två dagar, vilket stämmer bra om man seglar från Gotland till Danmark (arkeologen Gad Rausing har rent av gjort det och säger att geaterna kom från Gotland). Det sägs vidare att stridigheterna mellan geater och svear skedde över öppet vatten samt att geaterna också kallades männen från havet.

I kvädet omnämns att Uppsalakonungen Ale föll i kamp med Adils sedan han hade fått hjälp av geaterna från andra sidan havet. Och professor Bo Gräslund säger i Folkvandringstidens Uppsala ”Att Uppsalakonungarna skulle ha bekrigat västgötarna över Vänerns vatten och underkuvat dem finns det inget belägg för vare sig i Beowulfkvädet eller andra äldre källor”.

Gutarna kommer emellertid från andra sidan havet, vilket också är professorns slutsats, dvs att geaterna är detsamma som gutar. Beowulf var alltså en tvättäkta gute, ingenting annat.

Om detta stämmer
Stämmer det att Beowulf var gute så tör det vara förskräckligt för alla som säger att gutarna hade “underkastat” sig svea konung, “införlivades” osv. I stället står att gutarna hjälpte till med att sätta en kung på tronen, och vidare sägs i Gutasagen att gutarna “själv viljande” gick under Svea konung, varför då inte dra till med att denna ära vederfors kungen eftersom vi hade satt honom där?

Tekst Bernt Enderborg/Guteinfo

Fra ha fatto entrare in casa un nuovo ospite fisso…un lettore blu ray e, appollaiato sopra di questo, uno schermo full hd. Incredibilmente, ora sopra la mia scrivania c’è più ordine di prima, dato che per fare spazio al 22 pollici abbiamo dovuto fare le pulizie di primavera. Temevo che la mia camera avrebbe finito per assomigliare al rifugio di un otaku, ma siamo ancora a livelli di guardia

Ma parliamo del primo film che abbiamo preso per vedere le potenzialità di questo formato blu ray. Beowulf, di Robert Zemeckis. Un film che ho sempre snobbato abbastanza per via della tecnica con cui è stato girato, e che temevo avrebbe fatto apparire i protagonisti finti e plasticosi oltre ogni limite. Tra me e me pensavo ‘ mah, l’ha sceneggiato Neil Gaiman, qualcosa di buono dovrebbe pur avere ‘, però i pareri piuttosto tiepidi di chi l’aveva visto non mi avevano fatta correre al cinema.

Invece, dopo aver abituato l’occhio all’aspetto dei personaggi, il senso di ‘ finto ‘ finisce per svanire, e si comincia a seguire soprattutto la storia. La trama principale da cui tutto prende il via è quella della leggenda ben nota: l’eroe Beowulf che lotta contro il mostro Grendel. Ma la storia poi si sviluppa in un modo che non ci si aspetterebbe: diviene una riflessione sulla fragilità degli uomini, pronti a perdere se stessi per amore del potere e della gloria, e del senso di vuoto che deriva dalle decisioni errate su cui non si può tornare indietro. Diviene un ritratto malinconico di un re che un tempo era stato soprattutto un eroe arrogante, ma dotato di vera forza e di una sorta di purezza interiore ormai persa.

Un film che dopo la parte iniziale diviene soprattutto riflessione: l’azione prosegue anche nella seconda parte, ma i suoi scopi divengono più legati alla disperazione e alla stanchezza che alla ricerca della gloria. Bella ricostruzione dell’atmosfera dell’epoca, e appropriati i diversi momenti in cui il giovane eroe si vanta di fronte a tutti delle proprie imprese, esagerandone la portata. Beowulf inizialmente è soprattutto questo: uno sbruffone che si fa bello della propria forza e del proprio entusiasmo giovanile, deciso a combattere ad armi pari  i mostri che incontra tanto da affrontare Grendel nudo, indignato di fronte all’evidente reticenza della regina nel seguire le voglie del vecchio consorte, eppure pronto a seguire gli stessi errori del re.

Beowulf é un eroe che viene indagato nel suo momento di gloria e nel momento in cui non gli resta altro che la sua leggenda e una vita in cui ha ottenuto tutto quel che desiderava, accorgendosi che alla fin fine, come dice lui stesso ad un giovane nemico che vuole ucciderlo, lui non può essere ucciso perché é già morto molto tempo prima, quando era giovane. Ed è stato il momento in cui ha scelto di cedere al compromesso a stabilire la sua morte come eroe puro interessato soprattutto all’impresa in se stessa.

La figura di Grendel è spaventosa ma allo stesso tempo pateticamente tragica: una creatura già rifiutata ancor prima di nascere, che trova consolazione solo nella tenerezza della madre mostro, confinata in una caverna. Quella stessa madre che per portare avanti la sua vendetta che sembra includere l’intero genere umano non esita nel ripetere all’infinito lo stesso gioco di seduzione e distruzione con coloro che decidono di affrontarla. Ma di tale creatura, oltre che la bellezza, rimane impresso il grido atroce di fronte alla morte del figlio. Questo l’ha soprattutto caratterizzata ai miei occhi.

Altra donna che rimane una costante nella narrazione é la regina, personaggio silenzioso e dalla profonda dignità, costantemente a disagio di fronte all’incuria e alla spensieratezza dei suoi sudditi, custode dei segreti degli uomini cui è affiancata, tragica nella sua saggezza ed impotenza di fronte alle tragedie che colpiscono il suo regno.

Insomma, un film che vale la pena vedere, superata la prima strana impressione per la tecnica con cui è girato. Molto più malinconico e aperto alla riflessione di quanto avrei pensato.

VERDICT:
3/10 Epic Fails

What a bastardized and unnecessary movie this was.

Beowulf is about a warrior of epic proportions that moseys on over to a small town in Denmark to take out Grendel – a hideous monster that’s been terrorizing the said town and eating folks up because they’re all boozehounds and party too hard for Grendel’s liking. The Wulfmeister also has to fight Grendel’s mother, and then he has to fight a freakin’ dragon, but that’s about it.

Thought I would go ahead and give this one a write-up what with A Christmas Carol coming out this weekend (aka: Robert Zemeckis’ second journey into the…THE THIRD DIMENSION!) I’ve got a lot of problems with this movie, but how am I supposed to forgive the catalyst that re-ignited this ridiculous 3-D movie craze that somehow went from dumb as hell to cool as Fonzie without anyone batting an eye to it. Am I the only one who thinks that this is gonna be more fodder for the next episode of I Love The New Millennium on VH1? 

Who cares if it looks like that spear is gonna poke you in the eye. Go outside, real life is in 3-D. Why has this become a selling point? What a joke.

Anyway, this movie is based off the Old English poem of the same name, a poem which happens to be very badass. Granted, it’s a tough story to adapt, but harder things have been done in movies. My point being that I don’t know what compelled Zemeckis to animate this movie of all things, but it doesn’t work. Everything that was cool and epic about the source material, from the characters to the action, just ends up feeling they way it looks – cartoonish. With real people, I’m confident this could have had the potential to be something else, something like a mix between Braveheart and The Lord of the Rings. But alas, Zemeckis didn’t get the memo that just because people liked The Polar Express doesn’t mean you can animate any damn thing you want.

Just a bad call that makes the finished product seem unfortunately childish. The overtly-epic dialogue really doesn’t help either. Tone it down there, Rob.

It’s too bad because there’s a slew of great actors doing the voice acting here. Ray Winstone, John Malkovich, Anthony Hopkins, Angelina Jolie (not so great), and Robin Wright Penn (sure, why not) all contribute their vocals, and even though I have no idea how to judge whether someone’s got a good voice or not, I guess that’s a draw to some. 

Another big WTF moment was Jolie as Grendel’s mother. Go ahead, click on that link. What the hell is that about? That sure isn’t what she looks like and what goes down between her and Wulfie definitely doesn’t happen in the poem. Who wants to see a near-naked, animated Angelina Jolie? Man, shaking my head as I write this.

Grendel also looks nothing like I had imagined him being from the poem. He looks like a mutant man-child, like The Elephant Man mixed with The Hulk…after falling into a vat of battery acid. Not terrifying, just gross.

The thing with Beowulf is that it seemingly completely disregards everything about the source material that didn’t involve Beowulf killing things along with anything that might lead its audience to believe there’s any kind of depth to be found here. Being a big fan of the poem, it deserved a much better treatment than the one it got. It’s just eye candy and nothing more, and that’s a damn shame.

I have no idea if the same is going to be true for A Christmas Carol, but whatever, I’ll give Zemeckis the benefit of the doubt this one time. Go back to making movies with real people already, you’re the guy who did Forrest Gump for chrissakes! What happened, man?

- Matt Almeida

When first sitting down to write this blog I was asking myself, why am I telling Professor Hall about my experiences? I’m sure he knows more about English than I do  as he does indeed teach the class I am in, and did he not say having read Spenser’s The Faerie Queene  is like wearing badge of honor? Perhaps he should be telling me about reading The Faerie Queene, but regardless I shall discuss my experiences. I assume other IT professionals have much less interest in or knowledge of Spenser’s poetry. Also, sorry Professor but after reading just a few cantos I have no desire to acquire this badge of honor you spoke so highly of.  

Well what can I say? Reading parts of this complex, lengthy, ridiculous excuse for a poem was more or less like slamming my head into a wall. Repeatedly. I was debating whether or not it was less enjoyable than playing LOTRO, and I think I’ve made it clear through my blogs that I thoroughly do not enjoy LOTRO. It wasn’t even close. I would rather be locked in a room playing LOTRO for a weekend then read Spenser for an hour. At least I would be able to level my character up, and that’s always a plus as I don’t really see anything to gain from reading Spenser’s barely coherent poetry.

Spencer’s words are just so hard to read and the poem is very difficult to get through for a few reasons. From just looking at the poem you can see that the English is not quite what us 21st century folk are used to. We were told it was slightly more difficult than Shakespeare, but I’d say it’s a bit more than only slightly more difficult. Granted, I have seen some Old English such as that written in Beowulf, and Spenser is not nearly as difficult. The Old English barely even looks like letters, more like symbols, and at least Spenser uses normal English letters in his poetry. But regardless the words which he uses are often beyond my immediate comprehension. Spenser switches up certain letters and spells words in alternative forms that are not always instantly recognizable. This makes for not only a very slow read but also a very painful and un-enjoyable one. On top of that Spenser uses ridiculous words that sometimes don’t even make the slightest bit of sense. I weet (apparently this means know?) some words or can figure them out but even that is sometimes impossible which is why notes are often provided. It’s not even as if I can use dictionary.com or some other useful technology as these words seem to not exist anymore, only in Spenser’s fantastic world of poetry.

Spenser not only uses this complex and confusing version of the English language in his poetry, but he also writes in an incredibly complex manner and ties in deep meaning to all his cantos. He is writing poetry and he uses a specific rhyming scheme. I often felt when reading the poem some words were forced or altered in some way to make a rhyme, further adding to the confusion of the poem. Additionally, the poem seems to jump around a lot. There are a few different story lines going on and Spenser jumps back and forth between them, making the poetry not always easy to follow. Also, it appears that Spenser was a crazy smart guy who just couldn’t find enough things to tie into his poem. After going through all the various allegories today in class I felt as if my head was about to explode. We had such difficulty picking up on and noticing these allegories and I’m sure we didn’t even see half of them. As was noted in class each symbol in Spenser’s poetry has more than one meaning and has ties to more than one thing. All these allegories were pretty overwhelming and to think Spenser actually wrote this stuff with all those ideas in his head prior to actually writing them is almost unfathomable. To fully understand Spenser’s poetry, you must pick up on and explore these allegories as they provide a much deeper meaning to the poetry. This just further piles on to the agony and frustration that comes with reading The Faerie Queene. I think I’ll go play LOTRO now. Just kidding.

Season's Greed-ings... cute tagline!

An Active3D Movie Review

Rating (out of 5 stars): * * * *

When I tell you that this is the darkest, scariest movie ever to have emerged from the Disney Studios, you’d better believe it. It opens with the close-up of a corpse (that of Jacob Marley), and gets creepier from there…

If it’s a family film, then it’s one for families in which the children are either over ten years of age, or have sturdy constitutions. The film carries a “Mature Accompaniment for Under-Tens” rating in South Africa. (Does this mean that kids younger than ten should cart along an ageing pianist?)

Director Robert Zemeckis and his team have endeavoured to remain faithful to Charles Dickens’ original short story, so Jim Carrey doesn’t trot out his customary ad-libs – which would’ve shattered the credibility of this serious, old-time morality tale. By the end of the movie, Dicken’s ‘message’ (i.e. of compassion toward the less fortunate) is made manifest in the least subtle way, with nothing being spared in the way of stereoscopic and other effects work.

Zemeckis appears to be wed to the ‘motion capture’ technique of animation (as witness his previous animated 3-D movies, the execrable Beowulf and the delightful Polar Express). This system employs hundreds of electronic sensors which are attached to actors’ bodies and faces, which inform the movement and performance of their animated counterparts. I’m not crazy about this technique, as, in its present incarnation, it lacks the ability of either live performances or other types of animation to completely engage and persuade me. These ‘virtual actors’ come across as rather rigid – and squint-eyed – to my disconcerted eye.

The film’s idealised, three-dimensional realisation of old-time London, however, is quite the visual treat. And when the ghosts start appearing, it’s a runaway festival of ghoulish thrills…

As the tight-wadded Ebenezer Scrooge, Jim Carrey (or, at least, his animated avatar) is nastier than he’s even been, yet gradually reveals more of his humanity and vulnerability as the tale unfolds and his long-buried compassion is brought to the fore.

The film’s loaded with Christmas carols, although it has a greater, more humanistic appeal which should also access those of us who don’t celebrate this religious holiday. (Forget about those ridiculous councillors in the UK who believe that non-Christians will be offended at the mere sight of a Christmas tree in a shopping mall.) By staying away, you would not only be behaving like a churlish old Scrooge, but missing out on a hair-raisingly wild and unfettered 3-D adventure. Tat Wolfen

The weather forecast was grim. The last glimmers of summer were quickly fading, and the gray cloud of fall and winter was already setting in. No trip to Switzerland is complete without a sojourn to the jagged peaks of the Alps. On this last weekend of the B. parents’ visit, we’d originally hoped to make a trek to Zermatt and from there, by mountain cog-train, to a mind-blowing lookout upon the Gornergrat Glacier and the nearby Matterhorn. The weather simply didn’t cooperate. However, we kept watching the forecast for points in the Alps closer to Bern and finally sensed an opportunity. By mid-day we were approaching the resort town of Grindelwald.

Though thick cloud and rain had been forecast, we were greeted with clearing skies and Sun.

Partners in crime.

“Mountains? Where?”

There are abundant ways to reach deeper into the mountains from Grindelwald. Ultimately, we settled on a cable car leading from the western end of Grindewald up to Männlichen (2343 m, nearly 7690 ft) to catch views of the impressive summits of Jungrfau (4158 m, 13642 ft), Eiger (3970 m, 13025 ft), and Mönch (4107 m, 13474 ft).

The views of mountains and bovines alike from the small two-person cars were outstanding. Looking back towards Grindelwald, the Wetterhorn (3692 m, 12113 ft) towers over the village.

But there is always a price to pay.

Reaching nearly 6100m, the Gondelbahn Grindewald-Männlichen is the longest passenger cable-car in the world. The journey from top to bottom takes 30 minutes. For some of us, the complimentary Ricola lozenge barely lasted to the half-way point.

Did we mention that Bo B. (pictured above) is not fond of heights?

But the pay-off was exquisite:

▲ We had a yummy lunch at Männlichen. The rösti was considerably cheaper on a mountaintop than in Bern — go figure. Then we took in the extraordinary views as swirling sheets of cloud blew over us.

▲ The view from Männlichen — click panoramic image to enlarge.

▲ Beowulf and Grendel monument, 6 km.

▲ Proof that Bo B. made it to the top. Thankfully, the restaurant was serving beer.

▲ Rocky VII, “Fighting for Fondue.” Cue Survivor’s “Eye of the Gorby.”

New Month, new movies. November is bringing some very promising films.

This weekend: See Gentlemen Broncos. Jared Hess, creator and director of Napolean Dynamite, tells the story of a quite homeschool boy (Michael Angarano) with a love of science fiction. While attending a convention, his own story is stolen by his favorite writer (Jermaine Clement). Full of Hess’s infamous style, and buzzing due to both Jermaine Clements’ and Sam Rockwell’s comedic genius, this movie is very promising.

- If this isn’t your cup of tea: A Christmas Carol. Robert Zemeckis (Forrest Gump, Back to the Future) feels this animation is the future, and has invested heavily in it (Beowulf, The Polar Express). Always a heartwarming story, and boasts the talent Jim Carrey. Main negative, SO MANY CHRISTMAS CAROL MOVIES ALREADY! I mean, is anything ever going to beat The Muppets?

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November 6th: See Men Who Stare at Goats. Already receiving Oscar buzz, this movie has one of the most wonderful casts I have ever seen. Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, and Jeff Bridges, all veterans of the screen, come together for this dark comedy. Apparently based on a true story, it depicts the psychic division of the U.S. Army, and the heroes within. This movie looks hilarious, and is promising brilliant performances

- If this isn’t your cup of tea: The Box. The new Richard Kelly (director of Donnie Darko), about a family given the opportunity to choose whether or not to push a button to receive a million dollars. But, a catch: someone somewhere will die. With Cameron Diaz, Frank Langella, and James Marsden, and a lot of controversy at Comic Con!

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November 13th: Fantastic Mr Fox. WES ANDERSON STRIKES AGAIN! Yes, everyone is doing kids movies. Yes, movies never live up to books. BUT, this is no average movie. Not only is it stop-motion, it is WES ANDERSON STOP ACTION. Aka: it is full of beautiful, visually stunning shots with quirky art design, and an off beat sense of humor. With the help of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, and the rest of Wes Anderson’s gang (Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray…), this looks… well… FANTASITC.

- If this isn’t your cup of tea: Pirate Radio. A delicious 60s romp at sea! About an edgy radio station, that, to fight censorship, stays out at sea and hides from the government. With just about every amazing British actor ever, this will pretty much be wonderful.

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November 20th: TWILIGHT – NEW MOON!!! This gets capital letters because it is one of the most highly anticipated movies of the year. Well, if you are female and in your teens. Everyones favorite is back, for a little while. With a new director (Chris Weitz), a new look, and new mythical creatures (WEREWOLVES), this promises to be one of the most lucrative films of the year. My recommendation: If you love the series, go to a midnight showing! If you hate it, go to a midnight showing! No matter what, you will be entertained. Just for different reasons.

- If this isn’t your cup of tea: I have nothing I can safely recommend. Besides, if you aren’t seeing New Moon, you probably want to avoid the theaters. The Twi-hards will have taken over.

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November 27th: The Road. Post apocolyptic. Heart gripping. Viggo Mortenson. Need I say more? The story of a father and son traveling in a post-apocolyptic world, dealing with the trials that come, trying to find a place to live. Based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy, it looks tense, suspenseful, and a little bit scary for the likes of me.

- If this isn’t your cup of tea: Me and Orson Welles. By Richard Linklater (School of Rock). A bored school boy is suddenly hired as an actor in Orson Welles’ production of Julius Caesar. With *gasp* Zac Efron and Claire Danes, it seems to be a sweet, fun period piece!

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My report for the month of November!

By Paula Bowles

Today marked the penultimate day of Wiley-Blackwell’s first Virtual Conference. As I am sure you will all agree, thus far, each day has contained many gems, and today has been no different. Eileen Joy’s (Southern Illinois University Edwardsville) keynote lecture: ‘Reading Beowulf in the Ruins of Grozny: Pre/modern, Post/human, and the Question of Being‐Together’ looks at the aftermath of the Russian bombing of Chechnya through the lens of Beowulf.

The two final papers of the conference were provided by P. Grady Dixon (Mississippi State University) & Adam J Kalkstein (United States Military Academy) and Nicole Mathieu (CNRS, University of Paris). Their papers respectively entitled: ‘Climate–Suicide Relationships: A Research Problem in Need of Geographic Methods and Cross‐Disciplinary Perspectives’ and ‘Constructing an interdisciplinary concept of sustainable urban milieu’ have looked at indisciplinarity from a geographical and environmental perspective.

The final publishing workshop was ‘How to Survive the Review Process’ by Greg Maney (Hofstra University). Although, the conference is due to end tomorrow it is not too late to register and take advantage of the book discount and free journal access. Each of the papers and podcasts will remain on the website, and it is hoped that you will keep the comments coming in.

By Paula Bowles

Today marked the penultimate day of Wiley-Blackwell’s first Virtual Conference. As I am sure you will all agree, thus far, each day has contained many gems, and today has been no different. Eileen Joy’s (Southern Illinois University Edwardsville) keynote lecture: ‘Reading Beowulf in the Ruins of Grozny: Pre/modern, Post/human, and the Question of Being‐Together’ looks at the aftermath of the Russian bombing of Chechnya through the lens of Beowulf.

The two final papers of the conference were provided by P. Grady Dixon (Mississippi State University) & Adam J Kalkstein (United States Military Academy) and Nicole Mathieu (CNRS, University of Paris). Their papers respectively entitled: ‘Climate–Suicide Relationships: A Research Problem in Need of Geographic Methods and Cross‐Disciplinary Perspectives’ and ‘Constructing an interdisciplinary concept of sustainable urban milieu’ have looked at indisciplinarity from a geographical and environmental perspective. The final publishing workshop was ‘How to Survive the Review Process’ by Greg Maney (Hofstra University).

Although, the conference is due to end tomorrow it is not too late to register and take advantage of the book discount and free journal access. Each of the papers and podcasts will remain on the website, and it is hoped that you will keep the comments coming in.

By Paula Bowles

Today marked the penultimate day of Wiley-Blackwell’s first Virtual Conference. As I am sure you will all agree, thus far, each day has contained many gems, and today has been no different. Eileen Joy’s (Southern Illinois University Edwardsville) keynote lecture: ‘Reading Beowulf in the Ruins of Grozny: Pre/modern, Post/human, and the Question of Being‐Together’ looks at the aftermath of the Russian bombing of Chechnya through the lens of Beowulf.

The two final papers of the conference were provided by P. Grady Dixon (Mississippi State University) & Adam J Kalkstein (United States Military Academy) and Nicole Mathieu (CNRS, University of Paris). Their papers respectively entitled: ‘Climate–Suicide Relationships: A Research Problem in Need of Geographic Methods and Cross‐Disciplinary Perspectives’ and ‘Constructing an interdisciplinary concept of sustainable urban milieu’ have looked at indisciplinarity from a geographical and environmental perspective. The final publishing workshop was ‘How to Survive the Review Process’ by Greg Maney (Hofstra University).

Although, the conference is due to end tomorrow it is not too late to register and take advantage of the book discount and free journal access. Each of the papers and podcasts will remain on the website, and it is hoped that you will keep the comments coming in.

By Paula Bowles

Today marked the penultimate day of Wiley-Blackwell’s first Virtual Conference. As I am sure you will all agree, thus far, each day has contained many gems, and today has been no different. Eileen Joy’s (Southern Illinois University Edwardsville) keynote lecture: ‘Reading Beowulf in the Ruins of Grozny: Pre/modern, Post/human, and the Question of Being‐Together’ looks at the aftermath of the Russian bombing of Chechnya through the lens of Beowulf.

The two final papers of the conference were provided by P. Grady Dixon (Mississippi State University) & Adam J Kalkstein (United States Military Academy) and Nicole Mathieu (CNRS, University of Paris). Their papers respectively entitled: ‘Climate–Suicide Relationships: A Research Problem in Need of Geographic Methods and Cross‐Disciplinary Perspectives’ and ‘Constructing an interdisciplinary concept of sustainable urban milieu’ have looked at indisciplinarity from a geographical and environmental perspective. The final publishing workshop was ‘How to Survive the Review Process’ by Greg Maney (Hofstra University).

Although, the conference is due to end tomorrow it is not too late to register and take advantage of the book discount and free journal access. Each of the papers and podcasts will remain on the website, and it is hoped that you will keep the comments coming in.

Gerard Butler as Beowulf the Hero

The Danes are in big trouble. The troll Grendel (Ingvar E. Sigurosson) is angry and keeps attacking their village, killing men at random.  The famous hero Beowulf (Gerard Butler) takes his men and comes to help. Most men in town are dead, the king (Stellan Skarsgard) is depressed and killing the “monster” seems harder than Beowulf has initially thought. So he occasionally asks the town witch Selma (Sarah Polley) for guidance. The King however might have left some crucial information out. Something we see in the opening scene: Danes corner and kill Grendel’s father, with the young troll witnessing all of it.

I have actually no idea whether you will like the movie or not. I didn’t. Sure the landscape is amazing and Butler always makes a convincing and charismatic hero (300, Atilla) but there is so much missing from the film. If you are not particularly fond of the mythical tale, there is not much to be enjoyed here. The characters aren’t likable, the king doesn’t quite have many leadership attitudes, the witch’s accent is totally different from the rest…It is of course  a weird story with many odd aspects. Aside from the revenge-seeking outcast Troll, you have the most depressed king you have probably ever seen, a “monster” that you don’t sympathize with and aren’t afraid of and mostly men dying in a vain attempt to kill a beast, while you can think of quite a few strategies on how they could have killed him so easily…

Maybe you can just give yourself 15-20 minutes into the movie. Whatever vibe you get from the beginning is likely to continue. And I can think of many mythical stories that are more engaging. The current IMDB rating is 6.2, voted by over 6000 people. Your call.

Scene from Beowulf and Grendel

Halloween is two days away – the one holiday where we get in touch with our dark sides. With that, here are my Top 10 scary books and stories in no particular order.

Frankenstein, Mary Shelley – perhaps the benchmark. A tale of man’s God complex and the limits of science.

Dracula, Bram Stoker – Stoker sends the vampire to London a century before John Landis sent a Werewolf there.

The Tell-Tale Heart, Edgar Allen Poe – My favorite story about paranoia and a guilty heart, literally.

It, Stephen King – the only book that seriously scared me.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Washington Irving – watch out Ichabod Crane!

Something Wicked This Way Comes, Ray Bradbury – Mr. Dark. Enough said.

Beowulf - Is there anything scarier than a pissed-off monster mom living in an underwater cave with her son’s dead body?

The Odyssey, Homer – Thought I would throw a curveball, but there are some serious scary monsters in this one.

Young Goodman Brown, Nathaniel Hawthorne – A meeting with the Devil, unholy rituals, but was it all just a dream?

A Rose For Emily, William Faulkner – Creeeepy. Faulkner does Southern gothic.

Here are two animated movies of the Tell-Tale Heart. The first one is from 1953. The second one uses James Mason’s 1953 narration but with updated animation, which I prefer.

Speaker: Professor Eileen Joy (Southern Illinois University Edwardsville)

Full title: Reading Beowulf in the Ruins of Grozny: Pre/modern, Post/human, and the Question of Being-Together

Discipline: Literature

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Transcript

Our special thanks go to Eddie Van Wessel for generously allowing us to include his breathtaking photography of Grozny in this video. All of these images belong to ©Eddy van Wessel Photography: any publication only after his explicit permission.

Thre rest of this video is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 2.0 License. In short: you are free to share and make derivative works of the file under the conditions that you appropriately attribute it, and that you distribute it only under a license identical to this one. Official license

Keynote: Eileen Joy (Southern Illinois University Edwardsville): Reading Beowulf in the Ruins of Grozny: Pre/modern, Post/human, and the Question of Being‐Together

Paper: P. Grady Dixon (Mississippi State University) & Adam J Kalkstein (United States Military Academy): Climate–Suicide Relationships: A Research Problem in Need of Geographic Methods and Cross‐Disciplinary Perspectives
Commentators:
Scott Greene (University of Oklahoma)
Victoria Likhvar (National Institute for Environmental Studies)
Neville Nicholls (Monash University)
Darren Ruddell (Arizona State University)

Paper: Nicole Mathieu (CNRS, University of Paris): Constructing an interdisciplinary concept of sustainable urban milieu

Publishing workshop: Greg Maney (Hofstra University): How to Survive the Review Process