You know, you’re half smart, Ocean.

– Willy Bank

Soderbergh and company wanted to conclude the Ocean’s saga with Ocean’s Thirteen. This installment is a return of form with the gang returning to their roots in Las Vegas. I am glad that everyone returned to the slick caper story like the first movie.

During their absences between capers, the gang is reunited when Reuben suffers a cardiac infarction when a deal with an egomaniacal property owner, Willy Bank (Al Pacino) goes south. When one of the Twelve is wronged, a price needs to be paid. Danny pays Willy a visit when he was at the construction of his place, The Bank Casino.

The Bank Casino is an extravagant showplace with no expense spared with its marble floors and golden silverware. Willy wants to win another “Five Diamond” necklace for the best hotel in terms of customer service and overall cleanliness. Willy’s right-hand woman, Abigail (Ellen Barkin) is his eyes and ears to see if anybody would do anything during their soft opening.

Danny and Rusty seek the advice of Roman to find a way to seek revenge on Willy before the official opening of The Bank Casino on July 3rd. After some brainstorming, the team decides to destroy Willy from the inside out. First, they have to get inside of the building by bribing the lead concierge, Debbie (Olga Sosnovska), rig all of the games so the gamblers win, create a seismic event and distract a “Five Diamond” critic (David Paymer).

If they pull off this feat, they could get away with over $500 million dollars and at the same time bankrupt Willy Bank in the process. As their plan goes along, they realized that they bit off more than they can chew. Begrudgingly, they seek the help of Terry Benedict to help them carry out the mission.

First, what was up with Al Pacino’s skin? He was fluorescent orange. He was tanoxeric. It distracted me. I’m glad that they recaptured some of the magic from the first movie. I have a problem with some of the lighting. The shadowy scenes muddled everything. Nothing popped out of the screen. Soderbergh ended the series of a good note.

Judgment: If you want to see a return to form, watch this movie.

Rating: ***1/2

Terry, I can’t predict the future. I pay professionals to do that, and even they get it wrong sometimes.

– Reuben

After the massive success of the first movie, Soderburgh and company came back together for Ocean’s Twelve. This setting and story are dramatically different from the glitz and glamour from the first incarnation. Instead of the bright lights of the Las Vegas, the Eleven are focused their attention on Europe. I think that this was a mistake, because it hurt the caper aspect of the story.

When the Eleven successful pilfered Terry Benedict out of his $150 million dollars at the ending of the first movie, (spoiler alert) the beginning show how the gang was doing during the three and a half since the heist. Most of them spent some or all of their $13 million dollars cut.

They get a rude awakening when Benedict tracks them all down wherever they were hiding. He offers them a chance to correct their mistakes by stealing his money. Benedict gives them two weeks to return the money with interest, which is roughly $200 million dollars, or he will kill them.

The gang has a pow-wow to discuss how they could get the money is that short amount of time. They decide to go to Amsterdam to meet up with Matsui (Robbie Coltrane), who gives them an assignment to steal the world’s oldest stock certificate from 1602 worth $2.5 million Euros.

When they do, they realize that a famous cat burglar named “The Night Fox” (Vincent Cassel) got the stock first. Not only that, but the team realizes that The Night Fox made the call to Benedict that ratted them out.

The Night Fox issues a challenge to the Ocean’s Eleven to steal a Coronation Faberge Egg from exhibit in Paris. They want to beat The Night Fox at their own game. Eleven becomes Twelve when they enlist the help of Roman (Eddie Izzard) to help pull off the switch-a-roo.

This movie as a whole is not well executed. The dialogue was not up to par. The scenes dragged on way too long. I was bored to tears. The movie looks grainy. The interaction with the members felt clunky and stagy. There wasn’t the synergy from the first outing. I was disappointed with this movie, especially the last thirty that fell off the tracks.

Judgment: This is one of the instances that the sequel is not better than the original.

Rating: **1/2

Old Dogs

Starring: John Travola, Robin Williams, Seth Green, Justin Long, Kelly Preston, Ella Bleu Travolta, Lori Loughlin, Conner Rayburn, Bernie Mac, Matt Dillion, Rita Wilson
Directed By Walt Becker

Rated: PG
Run Time: 88 mins
Genre: Family/ Comedy
3 frames out of 5

They say you can’t teach old dog new tricks but you can teach an old guy how to live like a kid.

Charlie (John Travolta) and Dan (Robin Williams) are childhood friends. They are as close as brothers and own a successful sports marketing business. On the eve of closing the biggest deal in the history of their company, a blast from Dan’s past shows up and gives him the biggest shock of his life.

A few years back, Dan was going through a divorce and really depressed. Charlie being the good friend that he is took him down the South Beach for a wild weekend. Over the course of 48 hours, Dan and Charlie get trashed, Dan gets a tattoo and they meet a pair of lovely ladies, Vicki (Kelly Preston) and Jenna (Rita Wilson). Dan and Vicki hit it off so well, they get married and divorced in 24 hours.

As a result of the state of their martial bliss, the stork drops a pair of twins in Dan’s lap seven years later as their mother is about to go on a brief retreat mandated by the justice system. The twins prove to be a challenge to Dan and Charlie as they try to navigate business, life and old age but can they close the deal without losing each other?

Old Dogs is nothing but an old trick trying to pass off for a new one. It is a movie formulated in Disney fashion that tries to mimic that of the old films such as The Parent Trap and Herbie films. Although they enlisted the help of such big names as Travolta and Williams to drawn in the parents, this film doesn’t quite live up to expectation in the adult humor. This is a great film to take the kids because they will love it, just don’t expect to be thrilled in return.

Things to watch for: Great cameos by Justin Long, Bernie Mac, Matt Dillion & Rita Wilson. Ultimate Frisbee competitions, tanning booths and a birthday party at the zoo… priceless.

Who should see this movie: Kids ages 6-12, families, fans of Disney movies

See it in the Theater or Rent it on DVD: If you are looking for something to entertain the kids for an hour or more, go check it out in the theater.

You guys are pros. The best. I’m sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you’re out the front door, you’re still in the middle of the fucking desert!

– Reuben

Breaking away from his trademark quirky sensibility, Steven Soderbergh remade the 1960s Rat Pack classic heist film, Ocean’s Eleven. Instead of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammie Davis, Jr., the main leads are George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. Quite a departure. Soderbergh has some success with mainstream movies; I think that his subsequent Ocean’s trilogy exposed himself more to the mainstream consciousness.

Re-channeling his Out of Sight persona, George Clooney plays the titular Danny Ocean that is recently paroled after four years. When he is released, he goes to old stomping grounds to reconnect with his former crewmembers, travel across the country to reconnect with the poker teacher to the stars, Rusty (Pitt).

Ocean’s plan is to steal “x” amount dollars from three casinos, the Bellagio, the Mirage and the MGM Grand all of them owned Las Vegas casino owner, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia). He would need a large crew at least a dozen to pull off the multiple cons needed to pull off the heist.

Seeing that they need a way inside the way, Danny and Rusty pay a visit to a former casino owner that was wronged by Benedict and knows the ins and outs of the security system, Reuben (Elliott Gould). After he is in, the rest of the crew is assembled like Frank (Bernie Mac), two drivers the twins, Virgil and Turk (Casey Affleck, Scott Caan), electronic expert Livingston (Eddie Jemison), explosives Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle), a “grease man” Yen (Shaobo Qin), Saul (Carl Reiner) and last but not least, master of disguise, Linus (Damon).

They have pow-wow to lay out the foundation of this impossible feat. If they succeed, they stand to get 150 million dollars when the casinos are distracted from an upcoming fight between Lennox Lewis and Wladimir Klitschko that same day. In order to let the heist run slowly, they have to lay the groundwork like plant a device on the casino’s closed circuit camera, recreating the vault to practice, the daily routine of their mark.

While relaying the routine of Benedict, Linus thought it would be a good idea to enlist the help of Benedict’s main squeeze, Tess (Julia Roberts) who was also Danny’s ex-wife. Danny’s ulterior motive becomes clear that steals the money is not his only motivation. He wants to get Tess back.

The movie is slick and a little too polished. I had the same problem with this movie as I did with Spike Lee’s Inside Man. I don’t like it when a filmmaker talks down the audience. We don’t need to know every single detail that needed to be explained. When the heist was taking place, I didn’t believe that these people would be able to pull that off. The only person that I liked was Andy Garcia. He has a permanent stoic look on his face that works well with his dickish Terry Benedict.

Judgment: Have a good time with Ocean and the gang in this solid remake.

Rating: ****

Copyright Disney

After a full meal of turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes, I plopped myself down in the space rocket-type chairs at the Union Square Regal theater to see the new Disney movie Old Dogs.

After watching the trailer for the movie, it seemed like it should be a must see family movie this holiday season. Now don’t get me wrong, if you have younger kids or are looking for a cheap, cheezy laugh, definitely go and check this film out.

From the beginning of this film I felt rushed as a viewer. There were frantic cuts everywhere, and it seemed like they were either trying to make up for a lack of good shots or were trying to speed through ALL of the beginning dialogue. This got better throughout the film, but even at the end there were some scenes that felt like they were being rushed through.

The plot didn’t see to flow very well. There were some awkward transitions and some really weird jump cuts that, if I had edited the film, I definitely would not have added.

The acting again felt a bit rushed, it wasn’t the normal comedic experience you expect from Robin Williams, but there were some moments where Mrs. Doubtfire truly showed through that made me laugh. John Travolta’s comedy seemed forced, but some of his scenes you can’t help but crack up at. As for Seth Green, I was surprised at how little he was actually in the film. He had maybe 5 scenes, but that might be pushing it.

I’d like to take this part of the review and dedicate it to Bernie Mac. He did an exeptional job in this film and I already truly miss his presence on the big screen. He was a fantastic actor and he has, and will continue to be greatly missed.

Overall this filmed seemed to be a bit rushed and forced, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me laugh. If you are looking for a film to make you chuckle, I would recommend this. The man behind me did shy away from blurting out that he had not laughed that hard in a long time. So if you don’t think you will be annoyed by the jumpy editing, or the mediocre acting, go see this film over the holidays.

John Travolta and Robin Williams team up in the Walt Disney Company’s Old Dogs, a family comedy that pairs the two as close business partners whose lives are thrown into disarray when twin seven-year-olds are put into their care. Travolta’s wife, Kelly Preston, co-stars, along with the couple’s daughter, Ella, who makes her big-screen debut here. Wild Hogs helmer Walter Becker directs a script by Evolution scribes David Diamond and David Weissman, with producing duties going to Andrew Panay, Peter Abrams, and Robert Levy.

OLD DOGS

(Disney) John Travolta, Robin Williams, Kelly Preston, Seth Green, Ella Bleu Travolta, Conner Rayburn, Lori Loughlin, Matt Dillon, Bernie Mac. Directed by Walt Becker

From the director of Wild Hogs comes this new comedy that similarly involves older men in a younger man situation. In this case, two successful businessmen on the verge of closing the biggest deal of their careers are derailed by the revelation that one of them is in fact a father and at one of the most critical junctures in their negotiations, will be babysitting his newfound brood. As will happen around kids, chaos ensues.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Rating: PG (for some mild rude humor)

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

(Apparition) Norman Reedus, Sean Patrick Flannery, Clifton Collins, Julie Benz. This is the sequel to the cult classic penned by Troy Duffy (the making of which was the subject of the acclaimed documentary Overnight). The brothers MacManus who have been taking it easy in Ireland since the events of the first film find themselves compelled to return to the mean streets of Boston when a priest is brutally gunned down.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Rating: R (for bloody violence, language and some nudity)

Fantastic Mr. Fox

(Fox Searchlight) Featuring the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzmann, Bill Murray. From the minds of the late novelist Roald Dahl and director Wes Anderson (Rushmore) comes this animated feature that pits a clever, tricky fox against three brutal but not-so-bright farmers.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Rating: PG (for action, smoking and slang humor)

Ninja Assassin

(Warner Brothers) Rain, Naomie Harris, Sho Kosugi, Rick Yune. Taken from the streets as a child by the legendary but lethal Ozunu Clan and trained as an assassin, Raizo becomes one of the deadliest killers on the planet. However he butts heads with the clan and is forced to vanish. Now, he finds an Interpol agent who has stumbled upon one of the secrets of the Ozunu Clan and is marked for death. He must protect her – and himself – from the world’s most skilled assassins and try to find a way to bring the clan down for good. This stylized anime/video game hybrid is from V for Vendetta director James McTeigue.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Rating: R (for strong bloody stylized violence throughout, and language)

The Road

(Weinstein) Viggo Mortensen, Robert Duvall, Kody Smit-McPhee, Charlize Theron. After a global catastrophe kills nearly all life on earth and ends civilization as we know it, a father and his son make their way across a barren, dangerous landscape trying to avoid predators of the natural and unnatural kind in an effort to make it to the coast and survival. Based on the Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Cormac McCarthy, this post-Apocalyptic thriller boasts an all-star cast.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Rating: R (for some violence, disturbing images and language)

Two best friends — one unlucky-in-love divorcee (ROBIN WILLIAMS) and the other a fun-loving bachelor (JOHN TRAVOLTA) — have their lives turned upside down when they’re unexpectedly charged with the care of six-year-old twins while on the verge of the biggest business deal of their lives. The not-so-kid-savvy bachelors stumble in their efforts to take care of the twins (newcomers ELLA BLEU TRAVOLTA and CONNER RAYBURN), leading to one debacle after another, and perhaps to a new-found understanding of what’s really important in life

Starring: John Travolta, Robin Williams, Kelly Preston, Seth Green, Matt Dillon, Rita Wilson, Dax Shepard, Bernie Mac, Luis Guzmán, Ella Bleu Travolta, Conner Rayburn, Lori Loughlin, Justin Long
Director: Walt Becker
Screenwriter: David Diamond, David Weissman
Producer: Andrew Panay, Robert L. Levy, Peter Abrams
Composer: John Debney
Studio: Buena Vista Internationa

MOVIE TRAILER :

SPOILERS for Ocean’s 12 (not that you should care), and maybe Ocean’s 11, which is worth seeing, ahead.

Forced together by a very convenient plot device (i.e. do what the screenwriter says or you all die) which renders the ending of the last movie defunct (a common complaint in sequels), the same gang of crooks from Ocean’s 11 do some stuff to steal and make money. Yeah!

However this time they’re not after the money, unlike last time, when they were not after the money. Andy Garcia’s casino owner is replaced by a far more deadlier and noxious foe.

The Eurobag

Far too self-consciously “cute” and “witty” for its own good, this takes the essential formula of the first film and removes the drama and suspense. An example that particularly infuriated me:

A major part of the film involves Julia Roberts’ character Tess impersonating Julia Roberts. Then she meets Bruce Willis. Here’s a clip:

WHAT.

Steven Soderburgh even has the audacity to repeat a plot point from the first movie with Brad Pitt instead of George Clooney. They both chase ex-wives/ex-girlfriends, at the expense of the team, possibly putting them in danger. Except in the first film, it felt organic. The audience didn’t know about it until it was revealed to Matt Damon. Here, a clumsy prologue sequence spills all, and Brad Pitt spends the whole movie violating his own advice.

The problem is the audience knows too much and yet too little. Endless jumps in time and pointless trailing scenes don’t help, filling in character details or backstory that I don’t really care about or need to see. Again in Ocean’s 11 it was organic, and came out while they were planning the robbery (which was the plot of the film). Here it’s just a diversion.

The ticking clock plot device, designed to ramp up the tension in an inherently flat and dull story, doesn’t work. After setting up Andy Garcia as this incredible threat in the first film, he’s relegated to inciting incident duties. Once he’s given them time to give him his money back instead of killing them all as he threatened, he’s no longer bad-ass, and poses no threat at all.

In fact the only stakes in this movie is the shame of losing a stealing competition to a douchebag. Oh the shame! The big reveal – that the entire film we’ve been watching was just misdirection for the real theft, which is then shown only in flashback – is just a giant FU to the audience.

What? People pay to see this? That's funny to me!

Brad Pitt saves this movie. He is a very successful actor, somehow managing to maintain a lot of mainstream appeal while taking some really niche roles between the big fat pay-checks (like this one). He’s a great actor, no matter how many stupid Japanese coffee ads he’s done.

Another good point (I try to find at least a few) is the luscious cinematography. Each frame is beautifully composed and shot, to the point that I tuned out all the “plot” and wallowed in the visuals. More Amsterdam would have be nice – it’s one of my favourite cities.

Any good story-teller’s job is to disguise the form so theme and story can shine through. Completely the opposite is done in this movie, but I don’t mind. The story is so boring and the characters so vapid and untouchable that this is the only thing that can excite me.

Rating compared to original: The original felt fresh. It brought a new style and tone to the heist movie, and was one of those rare ensemble star-studded films that actually worked. Boy do the jokes age quickly here. The characters are annoying and outstay their welcome. There’s not even a clear heist that we can get behind. Time to ascribe an arbitrary number to it.

30% of original’s quality.

Anul 2008 a fost un an negru la Hollywood, asta dupa ce lumea filmului a pierdut cateva dintre cele mai mari valori ale sale. Mai trist este faptul ca acesti actori au murit inainte de vreme, lasand in urma roluri memorabile si suflete triste.

Heath Ledger

Stirea din 22 decembrie care ne anunta ca Heath Ledger nu mai este printre noi ne-a lovit pe toti ca un fulger. Chiar daca am sperat sa fie vorba de o greseala si asteptam ca aceste zvonuri sa fie infirmate de Heath, acest lucru nu s-a intamplat. Si mai tragic este faptul ca actorul se afla in plina ascensiune, dupa succesul mare inregistrat cu “Brokeback Mountain” si avea doar 29 de ani. O supradoza accidentala de medicamente a fost suficienta sa ne lase indurerati si sa luam cu asalt ultimul film pe care l-a finalizat: “The Dark Knight” unde l-a interpretat pe nemesis-ul lui Batman – Jokerul. Acest ultim rol pe care l-a dus la bun sfarsit s-a dovedit a fi o interpretare magistrala, care a fost premiata cu un Oscar post-mortem si care va ramane mereu in sufletul nostru.

Brad Renfro

Acest tanar talent a murit cu cateva zile inaintea lui Heath Ledger la varsta de doar 26 de ani, in urma unei supradoze de heroina. Dupa debutul in filmul The Client, Renfro a dovedit ca e un actor bun atat in drame cat si in comedii. Dovada vie a talentului sau stau filmele Apt Pupil sau Ghost World. Ultimul sau film – The Informers – a aparut pe marile ecrane la un an dupa moartea sa si a intrunit o distributie impresionanta formata din actori precum Billy Bob Thorton, Kim Basinger, Mickey Rourke, Winona Ryder sau Rhys Ifans.

Bernie Mac

La 50 de ani, Bernie Mac era un tanar plin de viata prins intr-un corp de adult. Este trist sa vezi cum o pneumonie poate sa rapeasca unul dintre cele mai mari valori de pe scena comediei americane. The Original Kings of Comedy, aparut in 2000, a fost productia care a atintit toate luminile asupra acestui stand-up comedian foarte talentat, care a plecat dintre noi mult prea devreme. Ce a urmat mai apoi in 2001, avea sa fie rampa lui de lansare spre succes. Serialul The Bernie Mac Show a vrajit din prima publicul, inregistrand un succes fantastic si fiind nominalizat atat la premiile Emmy cat si la Golden Globes. De aici a inceput pentru Bernie un ultim deceniu de viata cu aparitii in filme de referinta precum Ocean’s Eleven, Ocean’s Twelve, Bad Santa, Guess Who, Soul Men sau, ultimul film in care il putem vedea, Old Dogs.

Isaac Lee Hayes

Cu toate ca s-a facut remarcat mai mult pe scena muzicala in calitate de compozitor si cantaret, Isaac Lee Hayes o sa ramana cunoscut mereu pentru insufletirea personajului Chef, din celebra animatie South Park. Din 1997 pana in 2005 acesta i-a dat viata bucatarului de la cantina scolii din South Park. Chiar daca avea 65 de ani, nu parea sa incetineasca deloc,insa atacul de cord pe care acesta l-a suferit pe 10 august 2008 avea sa incheie o cariera care ar mai fi putut continua ani buni.

Anthony Minghella

Cu toate ca a debutat ca regizor in 1990 cu filmul Truly, Madly, Deeply, Minghella a atins apogeul carierei sale in 1996, cand a filmul The English Patient, pe care l-a regizat si al carui scenariu l-a scris, a fost distins cu 9 premii Oscar si 2 premii Golden Globe. Succesul acestui film sta ca dovada talentului si viziunii extraordinare de care a dat dovada acest regizor si scenarist valoros de-a lungul timpului. Filme precum The Talented Mr. Ripley sau Cold Mountain nu fac decat sa pastreze vie amintirea lui in lumea cinematografiei. Ziua de 18 martie 2008 avea sa aduca vestea decesului sau, survenit in urma unei hemoragii, dupa ce cu o saptamana inainte regizorul fusese operat pentru extirparea unei tumori maligne.

Patrick Swayze

Cand am aflat ca Patrick Swayze a fost diagnosticat cu cancer pancreatic, am sperat cu totii ca va infrange boala si va continua sa ne fure privirile in noi productii. Dar soarta nu a fost de partea lui si dupa o lupta care a durat aproape 2 ani, actorul a decedat pe 14 septembrie, acasa, inconjurat de familie si sotia sa, Lisa Niemi, cu care s-a casatorit in 1975. Dirty Dancing si Ghost sunt cu siguranta doua dintre filmele prin care Swayze si-a asigurat nemurirea in lumea cinematografiei. Chiar si in ultimele luni din viata actorul nu a renuntat la ceea ce stia el sa faca mai bine: actoria. Astfel, acesta a reaparut pe marile ecrane pe 15 ianuarie 2009, in rolul principal din serialul TV The Beast. Avea doar 57 de ani…si l-am pierdut.

]]> http://freshprinceoftheblog.com/2009/11/09/a-vintage-lebron-james-commercial-with-bernie-mac/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:39:57 +0000 JaCoB http://freshprinceoftheblog.com/2009/11/09/a-vintage-lebron-james-commercial-with-bernie-mac/

It’s kind of scary that LeBron James is already in his seventh season. It’s even scarier that it’s been almost seven years and Darko Milicic still sucks.

Where has the time gone?

Here’s one of LeBron’s first Nike commercials — from 2004 — featuring the late, great Bernie Mac.

Props, Free Darko

Finally these two all-stars meet up but in a jail.

It’s 1932; Ray (Eddie Murphy) is a small-time hustler, and Claude Banks (Martin Lawrence) is a bank teller with a taste for gambling. When Ray picks Claude’s pocket to pay off a debt, the two men are framed and land in the same jail for 60 years; trouble is, they can’t stand each other! Stuck in a work camp, they hope to be proved innocent someday — if they don’t kill each other in the meantime.

I first heard about this film and was interested in seeing it cause it had my two favorite African-American comedians finally together in a movie. I was just expecting on-going laughs from these great actors, and although I got that the story of this film was a lot more than I was even thinking about.

However, this movie has an inherent sadness to it. These two men have their dreams crushed and are trapped in prison their entire lives. And yet they always remain hopeful about getting out and starting their lives. It creates a weird balance in the movie between the comic and the tragic.

Life started to lose me cause I think the way the whole film acted around it’s setting didn’t seem like the place for comedic effect. The Louisiana prison they are sentenced to, the future there isn’t so bright and many moments are very serious but aren’t taken very seriously, and that’s what kind of threw me off this film. I think this story could’ve really worked if it was used in a 1999 prison instead a 1930’s one.

I liked the comedy though even without the serious parts. I felt like the comedy does get a little over-the-top, but overall succeeds in making you laugh. I enjoyed how the jokes weren’t really centered towards racism and crime jokes and they stood up between mature and sometimes immature.

Lawrence and Murphy really do shine in this film however. I hear that they didn’t really like their Director Ted Demme, but he must have done something to them cause they give out great little performances here. This is very different from a lot of their other work, because it has more of a serious side to it, but they do take the ball and run with this film every scene they get. There are also little supporting characters in this film that are good that feature Bernie Mac (R.I.P), Anthony Anderson, and if you don’t blink you can catch Ned Beatty.

Consensus: Life is set-up in a very strange way, but features great performances from Lawrence and Murphy, and a great life lesson on love and friendship.

7/10=Rentalll!!!

So the Pope says, "Do you have an eraser? I wrote..."

If I had a bucket list, there would be one less item on it, because last night I finally got to see Otto & George live on stage in a comedy club. And although one of them is made of wood, trust me when I tell you that two minutes into the show no one believed they weren’t watching a foul-mouthed midget go postal on everyone, including the shy guy on stage trying to calm him down.

Brooklyn-born Otto Petersen started out working a normal ventriloquist act, playing clubs and parties and busking in the park. Changing the material to an X-rated routine was both a survival tactic to get work and a stroke of genius. And I don’t care how prepared you think you might be for a ribald puppet, but the twisted, filthy smut that spews out of George’s mouth is as shocking as it is hilarious, maybe the most politically incorrect show on the planet. Nothing is sacred, not celebrities, politicians, alternate lifesyles, nationalities, religions and most especially anyone sitting within shouting distance from the stage.

Otto and George had just played the night before with John Valby, the ribald piano player who is especially popular in upstate New York. I did not see that show, but apparently a few people seated nearby had and returned for a full evening of puppet magic. I don’t know whether some of the other attendees were expecting Jeff Dunham, but between the act’s reputation and the disclaimers, there was no way you could walk into this gig expecting to see anything other than a demented ventriloquist with a foul-mouthed puppet. And while I saw many people laughing uncontrollably at even the most offensive material, there were also a couple who were obviously in way over their heads sitting slack-jawed, mouths agape, like they were being mentally raped.

Sorry, I have no sympathy for those people. If you pay to see an act like this you know what you’re getting. Filthy, sexually oriented jokes that are that much more hilarious because they’re coming from the mouth of a puppet. Otto baits the audience, and you can see his lips moving, but people don’t even make eye contact with him because they’re fixated on George. Hell, I know that’s Otto doing the voice and I’m still staring at the puppet the entire time. (I’ve seen clips where people argue with George!)

What makes these guys great – and yes, I refer to them as two people – is that Otto rarely speaks directly to the audience. He lets George do all the dirty work. George looks as demented as he sounds, and relentlessly attacks Otto as well as the audience. So while Otto is trampling on the sacred cows of every gender, race, creed and lifestyle, he looks like he’s the victim, not the perpetrator. It’s a brilliant idea perfectly executed.

And for those who might snark that his ventriloquist skill is lacking because his lips do move, well…you’re missing the point. It’s one thing to see a guy drink a glass of water while throwing his voice, but you know all the time that it’s a parlor trick. Watching Otto & George, you’re convinced that a demented midget is onstage holding the room hostage. And that’s just what he did through two hour-long sets that I couldn’t reprint a word of even if I wanted to. One of the funniest shows I have ever seen; do not miss them if they perform near you.

Host and opening act Johnny O was flat out hilarious. I don’t expect much more from the M.C. than to make the time pass quickly, make me laugh once or twice and get me to the headliner. I’ll admit that when this middle-aged guy from Parsippany hit the stage I had no expectations, but my ribs ached by the time he was done. Irreverant social humor that was unilaterally funny, whether breaking balls about Italians and their lawn ornaments or the social caste differences between Yankee and Met fans. A bag full of great one-liners, sight gags and dead-on impressions of Sean Connery, Ice-T, Nipsey Russell (a killer closer) and Bernie Mac. And an impression of Jesse Ventura coaching his son about birth control? Folks, this was fucking gold. This guy needs to headline and I need to find out where so I can see him again.

The worst thing you can probably tell a comic is “I’m staying for the second show“, but Johnny O juggled his routine a bit and reworked some lines; Otto probably altered his by a third. Frankly, they were both so funny I probably could have watched them deliver the same material word for word.

The smaller opening crowd was actually more attentive and responsive. The later crowd, a bit younger, contained the requisite wiseass who thinks he’s funnier than the comic, the talkative drunk at the front table, the group of twelve sometimes focusing on each other instead of being part of the overall crowd. This is nothing new for a working comic, and both handled it well. And I don’t blame the comics – they were nailing the material and rifling the self-deprecating callbacks when things didn’t go as well as expected. They had the follow-up ready for any punch line that fizzled. They just didn’t get back what they put out there in the second show. Sure, maybe a Joe Pignatano reference plays better in New York City than elsewhere, but if a Bernie Mac imitation is too deep for you, maybe you need to get out more…just somewhere else. But with enough of us in the audience who were gasping for air, they did what professionals do – play to those of us who were actually getting the subtleties.

The Comedy Club in Webster is a great space – perfect sightlines, great sound and lighting, not a bad seat in the house. The food is good, the drinks reasonably priced and the servers attentive and friendly without being cloying. In short, it’s a great comedy room that deserves a great comedy audience. I know a lot of us walked away tonight with sore ribs and big smiles; hopefully Otto and Johnny got enough of a response from the core of both crowds to make up for the sprinkling of cluelsss ones.

Of course, George couldn’t be placated. “Go to Home Depot”, he told me, “and get a rope in aisle 2 and a stepladder in aisle 7 and do it right in the store! Kill yourself!!”

Otto & George on Letterman

Otto & George website

Otto & George on MySpace

Johnny O. on MySpace

1. The Bernie Mac Show

2. Robot Chicken

3. Man vs. Wild

4. The History Channel (almost any show)

5. Old Horror Movies

Dating back to the days of Redd Foxx (and earlier), black stand up comedians would pay their dues on a different route than their white counterparts.  Affectionately known as the ‘chitlin’ circuit’, the black stand ups of the 80s and 90s would tour the country for years, decades even, performing blue material that catered directly to a specific audience. 

Russell Simmons’ Def Comedy Jam essentially brought the chitlin circuit to the mainstream.  A staple of HBO in its pre-Soprano days, Def Comedy Jam in its heyday showcased more black talent in one episode than most broadcast network shows do in a season. 

Enough prologue, on to the tale of the tape…

Relevance:  As described in the intro, Def Comedy Jam became an instant sensation with fans of black comedy.  Hosted by Martin Lawrence and DJ’ed by Kid Capri, the show ‘became’ the chitlin circuit I mentioned earlier.  With the freedom that HBO still provides to this day, no subject matter was taboo, and I’d love to reprint some of the jokes here, but sadly this is PG rated blog.

Legacy:  From a TV show point of view, BET’s Comic View was obviously the direct attempt to capitalize on this with a cleaner set of language.  When I think of legacy in terms of this show though, my first thought was ‘how many black comedians who went on to bigger things appeared on Def Comedy Jam?  A quick fact check made me realize the better question would have been, ‘Who DIDN’T appear on the show at some point?’  The only big name 90s black comedian who I think never came close to crossing that stage (for fairly obvious reasons when you think about it) was Sinbad.

Craft:  The first few years of the show, that comedy was superb.  And I don’t say this to put down some of the stand ups who appeared when the show started to lose steam, but everybody is not as funny as Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac, Joe Torry or Dave Chappelle.  You throw in Comic View starting to dilute the talent pool and it was inevitable that the things would change.

Crossover:  It was known I think.  Chris Rock did a pretty funny parody of the show when he hosted SNL once.  Hip hop was in its Golden Age, so it’s not a stretch to think the white kids who were buying Public Enemy albums were also watching Def Comedy Jam. 

Apollo:  Hmmm…what can I say here that I’m comfortable reprinting?  OK, skip that.  If you want to see a perfect visual illustration of this blog entry, go to YouTube right now and search for ‘Def Comedy Jam Chris Tucker, Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac’.  The whole episode is on there (along with two other funny brothas).  I AIN’T SCARED OF YOU MOTHERF*****S!

The TV show countdown continues later with the making of a future movie star…

Beanie Sigel has no plans to ever just be a law abiding citizen….

Via AHH:

A bench warrant was issued for rapper Beanie Sigel, after he failed to appear at a court date related to a marijuana possession charge yesterday (September 14) in New Jersey.

State police stopped Beanie Sigel and three companions in August, as the rapper was heading to perform at Kelly’s Bar on Rexall Avenue around 12:45 am.

Sigel, born Dwight Grant, was arrested when police found him in possession of under 50 grams of marijuana.

The driver and another passenger, Karl Dargan, 24 and Justin Gaines, 25, were also charged with drug possession.

Judge Gregory McCloskey issued a bench warrant for Sigel after he missed a mandatory court appearance, according to The Burlington County Times.

Beanie Sigel’s latest album Broad Street Bully hit stores on September 1.

This Bernie Mac routine never fails to crack me up. The late Mac Man appeared to believe in old-fashioned, old school discipline when it came to kids.