The pleasant tune will play faithfully, not minding what I am doing–I can be in the middle of baking bread or writing or cleaning a closet. If the washer cycle is through, I will hear that song. And if I am going to have clean, fresh-smelling laundry I need to go to my washer as soon as I hear that song. Sometimes I am busy and I forget.  Sometimes I am lazy and I think I will do it later and then forget.  Or sometimes I am not home. But if I don’t “face the music”, the next time I go to my washer, I will have a musty smell coming from my washer and end up having to wash the same load all over again (have you ever done that or is it just me??)

Sounds a little bit like life, doesn’t it? Sometimes we hear an annoying little song in our relationships. They are warning signs we shouldn’t ignore, perhaps a husband who won’t talk to his wife, a wife who doesn’t like to spend time at home, a child that throws tantrums on a regular basis, a teen that hangs with the wrong friends, just to name a few. These signs signal us that there is a problem that we need to take care of.  But we are often too busy or too lazy to worry about it.  Or perhaps we have already checked out of the relationship and find ourselves indifferent (this is especially true in marriages and friendships).

Of course, oftentimes, we just aren’t sure what to do so we do nothing. I know exactly what to do when I hear the little song in my washer.  I go to the washer and I move the wet laundry from the washer to the dryer. But relationships aren’t always so cut and dried, are they?

But one thing that is for sure: that annoying song probably won’t go away on its own.  And it will probably get louder. Every divorce started with small steps in the wrong direction. Most rebellious teens showed signs years before the rebellion occurred. Most friendships showed signs of wear before a break was completely made.

Just like my washer cannot be ignored, neither can our relationships. We have a responsibility to do all we can to mend broken relationships. We need to look at ourselves – how do I need to change?  We need to do all we can personally do to fix the problem.  And all the while, we need to be committing it to prayer on a regular basis. It can be a painful, torturous process, but the reward is so worth it!

Let’s take necessary steps to do what we can to heal the problems we see in our relationships. Sure, we are only ever half of the equation.  But we are half!  Have a blessed day as you face the music in your life!

2 Thessalonians 3:13  But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.

All of us, at one time or another, have said “what if?”  What if I had never taken this job? What if I had moved sooner?  What if I hadn’t bought this lemon of a car?  What if my mom and dad wouldn’t have been abusive?  What if I had raised my kids better? What if a certain person hadn’t died? What if I was a movie star…or professional sports athlete…or music performer? There is no end to the “what ifs” in life.  We all have at least a few.

But we don’t have “what if”.  We only have what IS.  I actually heard that statement on Adventures in Odyssey (find this wonderful series here) the other day and it really struck me. You see, I had been saying “if only” about a particular issue in my life fairly frequently lately.  I wish I would have done something in the past and I didn’t do it. So now what? Can I go back and change it? Can I change any consequences of my past decision? Can I wave a magic wand and make everything all better? Of course not.

So, perhaps, it would be better to focus on the what IS. Instead of regretting the past, let’s be thankful we are no longer there and move on with God’s strength and guidance, thankful for the life lessons we have learned.  Instead of wishing for a different life, let’s focus on the life we have and live it with enthusiasm and a grateful heart.  Instead of wishing we didn’t live in a particular house or drive a particular car, let’s stop complaining and take steps to buy something that suits our family better.

Through it all, we need to be examining our hearts.  Should I even want a better car or house? Why do I want to be a movie star? What am I so upset about the past?  We may even find out that our desire isn’t from God, but from our own selfish motives. However, oftentimes, it isn’t about anything like that, but instead it is frustration at something we did or didn’t do and we cannot now go back and change. Or we are grieving and lost and lonely because of something that happened outside of our control.  So what about that?

Let’s try to focus on some of the good that comes from some of the circumstances that we would rather not have. Perhaps a friendship grew out of a mutual desire to live a frugal life because of a lack of income.  Or someone came to know the Lord because you delayed in making that decision to leave your job as soon as you believe you should have. Maybe you came to know the Lord because of your abusive background. Only God can see how the consequences and circumstances have changed not only your life, but the lives of others, as well.

We can only live our lives and make decisions based on what we know (which is why it is so important to know scripture!) and then we need to leave the rest up to God. He, in His sovereignty, will guide us and we need only to submit ourselves to His will for our lives.  After that step, then we need to make the best of wherever it is we find ourselves in life.  Instead of living with regrets, let’s live with a passionate commitment to Christ and be devoted to making the very best of where we find ourselves right at this moment.  Instead of focusing on what IFs, let’s focus on what IS.

I have a great fear that in this day and age of “easy-believism” there is a trend to blindly consider ourselves saved and then to continue living our sinful, selfish lives without ever changing at all.  But if our life has not been transformed or changed in any way are we even really a believer? The testimony found below would indicate that we probably are not saved if this is the case.  Spiritual growth happens at different paces and in a multitude of ways– but it always happens in the lives of those that are saved.

Last week a college friend e-mailed me to say “hello”. I hadn’t heard from him personally for some time, but my brother (a good friend of his) had shared his amazing testimony with me a few years ago. This young man had grown up in Christian family and spent all of his life attending church. He attended Christian school and even a Christian college. He was a “good” guy. He thought he was saved but then the Lord, in His amazing grace and mercy, showed Him that he was not. I asked him if I may share his story with you. He kindly said, “yes” and e-mailed me this:

I professed to be a Christian at the age of six years old. My parents had been taking me to church since I was born, and continued taking me as long as I was under their roof. My parents sacrificed to send me to the Christian schools all but three years of my elementary and high school education. I attended two years at Grace College. When I applied at Grace, I was asked if I was a Christian. I assured them I was. I went on a short term mission trip with 59 other high school age kids when I was 17. Again, one of the questions to get on this mission team was if I was a Christian. I assured them I was. I met a wonderful young woman at Grace. When I went to pick her up for the first time at her house, her father grilled me in concern for his daughter. The first question he asked me is if I was a Christian. I assured him I was. Before this young lady went out with me for the second time she asked me if I was a Christian. I assured her I was. After being married for a while she continued to ask me at various intervals if I really was a Christian. Time after time I assured her I was. There were many times during my life that I asked myself that same question: was I a Christian? I assured myself I was. After all, I grew up in the church. I walked up the aisle at church and said that I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. I was baptized, twice. At each and every step in my life my spiritual state was questioned and I always answered the same: “Of course I am!”

I mentioned that my wife repeatedly asked me if I was a Christian after we were married. She did this because she saw things in my life that seemed contrary to what a Christian is. The biggest thing she saw in my life was apathy towards God. When I sat down in church, as soon as the singing was over I settled down for a nap. I never read the Bible on my own. She never saw me praying. Most of my actions and behavior growing up and after marriage screamed that I was unsaved. In thirty-three years of claiming to be a Christian there was absolutely no growth, no good fruit. How could this be? How could someone claiming to be a Christian for over thirty years have nothing to show for it?

I want to tell you today that the reason there was no good fruit in my life and the reason I was totally apathetic and bored with Biblical things was because I was not a Christian. The knowledge of who Jesus Christ was never made it to my heart. I knew many things about Him. I wanted Him as my Savior, to keep me out of hell. I wanted all the benefits of being a Christian. But I refused to put Jesus as the Lord of my life. I did not serve Him. I did not love Him. I loved myself. I served my sinful desires. Matthew 6:24 says, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 7:18-23 is a passage that really wakes a person up. It says, “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus by their fruit you will recognize them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophecy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers!’

I was a bad tree because I bore no good fruit. Every aspect of my life was bad fruit. But just a few short years ago, when things were getting really bad in my life, I realized that all my fruit was bad because I was not saved. At that moment I turned my life over to Jesus, asked Him to forgive all those years I did things in His name, but in actuality was an evil doer. I asked Him to heal my broken life and help me to love Him with all my heart, mind, strength, and soul. The apathy left me immediately. From that moment on I have loved reading, hearing, and talking about my Savior.  Making Jesus my Lord meant that everything I did was with Him in mind. See, I had always believed the basics of the Bible, but we are told that even demons believe, and tremble. All those years, though I believed what the Bible said, I had been a slave to my sinful self, a slave to sin, but now I am a slave to my Savior Jesus Christ. So now I can truly call Him my Savior and Lord.

You see, being a Christian is not just growing up in the church, being good most of the time, doing things in the name of Christianity, and even believing what the Bible says. It is a personal relationship with Jesus. It is loving His name. It is serving Him. And it is longing to be with Him. For years I had a list of things that I wanted to do before going to heaven. But now there is nothing in this world that I desire more than to be with Jesus for all eternity.

Trent’s beautiful family –the very blessed beneficiaries of his new life!

I want to thank my friend, Trent, for allowing me to share his testimony with you. He became saved over five years ago now and his thirst for God increases each day. His whole life has changed because he is now truly born again!

Do you yearn to know God more?  Are you growing in your knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? Do you love the things He loves and hates the things He hates?   Are you serving God or are you serving yourself?  This is a great day to take an honest look at yourself.  Are you really saved?

Sharing the Gospel and encouraging others to grow in Christ is of highest importance to me so if you would like me to pray for you or if you have any questions about God’s plan of salvation, please don’t hesitate to email me at growing4life10 {at} gmail {dot} com.

We had the wonderful privilege of watching our oldest daughter graduate from college this past Saturday.   We were able to sit right along the aisle where the graduates walked in and were able to get some great pictures.

However, when your last name begins with an “A” and the line is organized alphabetically, you end up at the very beginning.  For this particular line, it meant our daughter was number 8 out of somewhere around 1100 graduates.  So, after we had smiled, waved, and taken our fill of pictures of her, we had a lot of graduates to watch walk in.  At first, I watched their faces, most with bright eyes and proud smiles.  I did see one guy with head phones in – which is worthy of a blog post all on its own (really? on your graduation day?!)

Eventually, my eyes wandered down to the feet walking by me.  Hundreds and hundreds of feet covered in almost just as many different styles of shoes. I saw sneakers and sandals and flip flops.  I saw a pair of work boots and a pair of brightly colored, flower-printed high, high heels.   But the one thing I realized as I watched all of those feet pass by me was that some of the shoes stood out and others just blended in with the rest around them.

As the minutes wore on, I thought about the credit and applause that is often given to people who are independent and willing to be different when it comes to shoes and clothing and lifestyle. “You do whatever you want to do!”  we hear.  People are told to follow their hearts and live their dreams, no matter what other people think.

But, yet, if we stand out because we aren’t willing to go to a certain movie or wear a bikini or listen to a  certain music group – well, suddenly, we aren’t so applauded, are we?  Instead we are labeled things like prudish, goody two-shoes, and narrow-minded.  In the world we live in, it is a wonderful thing to be different – as long as you are picking the right thing in which to be different.

But I ask you – if we Christians aren’t dramatically different than the world, how will the world know that we have something they may want?  What exactly does the Bible mean when it tells us not to love the world?  Verses giving this message abound (in John 15:18-19, James 1:27, and I John 2:15-16 just to name a few).  It would seem to me that modern day Christianity is telling us the opposite of these verses.  Why exactly are we being told that we need to be like the world instead of the scriptural teaching that we shouldn’t be like the world?

I think that is a question that has a multitude of answers and some of them may even make some sense to our finite, human minds.  But, as always, we can’t argue with scripture.  God tells us to stay unspotted from the world.  Our witness for Jesus Christ is at stake here.  God calls us out of the world to be light and salt for Him.  By being pure and holy in a culture that is drowning in darkness and wickedness we become a beacon in the night to those who are searching for answers.

I know this is so very unpopular, but let’s stand out like a brightly colored pair of shoes in a line of non-descript loafers for following our Savior whole-heartedly.  May it not matter what worldly pleasures we have to deny, what cost it be to our personal reputation, or what friendships are affected by it.  Let’s be a different brand of Christian and stand up for Jesus!

Stand up, stand up for Jesus
As soldiers of the cross.
Lift high his royal banner;
It must not suffer loss.
From victory unto victory
His army he shall lead
Till every foe is vanquished 
And Christ is Lord indeed.

I stared at it and thought what in the world is this??  I did not plant that there!  And then I noticed the leaf and a light bulb went off.  I tore a bit off and rubbed it between my fingers.  How about that?  It was a giant cilantro plant growing right in the middle of my flower garden.  The plant was almost as tall as I was. I had been buying cilantro and here I had more than I could ever use right outside my kitchen door.

That is such a great picture of the riches we have in Christ, isn’t it?  We long to be filled, so we try to fill ourselves with material possessions, relationships, and power.  The satisfaction doesn’t last, so we keep “buying” more…perhaps it is the next level of the job or a bigger house or a different spouse.  But the satisfaction always dies and we are left looking for yet one more thing. And, yet, if we are a believer, true and lasting satisfaction is right within our grasp. It is right in front of us and we don’t even realize it.

God waits to give us all we need.  He wants to be the One we run to when we are struggling.  He is ready to pour out spiritual blessings on us.  But we continue to wallow in the mud trying to fill ourselves up and basically making a mess out of things.  Buying more stuff only to watch it fade away. Gaining more popularity and power, only to grow old and watch it disappear.

You see, all of life is so fleeting and only one thing is of eternal value.  All of our life should be given to knowing Jesus Christ and making Him known.  That will fill us in a way that nothing else can. And it will take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on furthering the Kingdom. We live in a lost and dying world and God is waiting for the lost to come to Him, weary and broken and repentant, to give them a new life.  But many of us (including me) are so busy trying to fill our own hearts and lives that we can’t worry too much about the lost state of others.

And, yet, just like my cilantro plant, God has been waiting there all along.  If we will obey His Word and turn our life completely over to Him, we will be filled and satisfied more than we can ever imagine.  Why do we wait?

I am not sure I wanted a cilantro plant in my flower garden. I have an herb garden for such things. But I may just leave it there to serve as a reminder that my God is my comfort and source of satisfaction…that He is my reason for living and my main priority.  After all, can you ever have too much cilantro?

Psalm 16:5 O LORD, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot.

We still don’t know. We are assuming a mink or raccoon came in and stole them. Because we live on the edge of a field most of the wild animals can find enough to eat without coming on to our property, but some brave creature must have risked our dogs and my son’s shotgun and decided it was worth the trip. We are guessing it was a creature that prowls about at night.  Now we have to figure out how to keep the rest of our fish safe.

We had made an assumption that our fish would be okay over the winter. We had not gone to the pond to count them nor done anything to ensure their safety. We had gone about our lives all winter long, assuming the fish would be there when it was time to re-open the pond. We had nonchalantly made a wrong assumption and it had cost the fish their lives.

Many of us treat our spiritual health like we treated our pond over the winter. We throw a pump in (we go to church every Sunday) and we cast a net over it (turn on Christian music radio) and then we go live our life. But is that enough to keep us spiritually healthy?

I Peter 5:8 says: Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.  Most of us do not want to think about the devil at work trying to devour us. We prefer not to think about the spiritual battle we are in and instead rest easy assuming we will be just fine. But if I Peter 5:8 is true (and, as it is God’s Word, we know it is) then we have an enemy in the devil. We cannot ever let our guard down. We can never make the assumption that we (or our families) are safe spiritually. We must approach life with open eyes, wisdom, and discernment.

How can this be accomplished?  How do we keep our eyes open so that we can make sure we aren’t devoured or even deceived by our enemy?

1) Read God’s Word and pray faithfully. This is tougher than it sounds. I will have a couple of weeks where I read every morning and then I will get busy and find myself having gone a week without opening my Bible. But we have a responsibility to keep our schedules free enough that we have time to include time with God. I am still working on this one!

2) Be sure any resources we read (or listen to) for spiritual growth are biblical. This is a tricky one, because the Christian market today is flooded with books and preachers that claim to be “Christian” but are filled with deceptive, anti-Christian words. We need to constantly be comparing all spiritual material against the words of the Holy scriptures.

3) Use discernment in our entertainment choices. Many people will tell you that it doesn’t matter what you fill your mind with but scripture tells us differently (Philippians 4:8).  We cannot expect to fill our minds with all of the things God hates and then be spiritually healthy.  Again, this is hard, because we live in a world where entertainment in almost like an idol.  But we have a responsibility to guard our spiritual health and bad choices in entertainment may be the number one thing that weakens believers.

4) Confess our sins. This is one I have been thinking about recently. We do not hear much on confession anymore, do we?  But in order to confess our sins, we have to ask God to show us our sin. And that leads to awareness. Lots of times I will just go about my life not even realizing the sins I commit against my Heavenly Father every day – even every hour. But if I sit down and take the time to pray and confess, I will realize that I probably didn’t handle the situation with my child correctly or I wasn’t the wife I should have been when we had that argument. Confession leads to a sensitivity of sin.

5) And, finally, we need to always be thinking.  We can NEVER let our guard down.  In this current age, there are so many attacks on true, biblical Christianity that it is downright frightening. As believers who desire to be spiritually healthy, we never have the luxury to simply just live our lives. Instead, we are in a constant battle with our flesh and with worldly philosophies. We have a responsibility to think about this and to approach all of life with wisdom instead of blind acceptance.

Ephesians 6:10-20 describes the armor we are to wear as believers. Armor is worn for battles. We can safely assume that if Paul gave us a detailed description of the spiritual armor we are to wear, then we are in a spiritual battle.  How is your battle looking? Are you winning? Or is the devil winning? Do you even care?

We lost over half of our fish before we became aware that there was even a problem.  We nonchalantly and naively assumed they were fine. This same nonchalance, if used to approach our spiritual health, will lead to the loss of more than a few fish, if we don’t pay close attention.

Watching our car go up in smoke

I read through the letter in my hand. Disbelief was first. Then came anger. And, finally, resignation. After all, what could we do?  What I was looking at was a letter from the auto insurance company we had been with for over 20 years. I held a letter stating that they were dropping our family due to two cars being totaled within two years. Really? These were the first big accidents that had occurred in our family in all of those years. Apparently that doesn’t matter in the auto insurance world.

And, suddenly, we were on the hunt for a new auto insurance company, which wasn’t going to be easy given that we were just “dropped” by our former company. I called a couple of different agents and they started running the numbers. It wasn’t looking great. Finally, I got a call with a pretty decent number. The estimate was e-mailed and as I went over it my eyes slid to the words “6 month policy”. Oh, great. No wonder the number was decent – it was only for 6 months. So that meant the quoted number was multiplied times two for what looked like a pretty outrageous yearly rate.

Frustration set in. It just didn’t seem fair. In fact, when the agent called me about setting up the policy I started complaining about  how unfair life is in the insurance world. She kindly said she understood and the conversation continued on like that for a moment.

And then, all of a sudden, I stopped. It dawned on me that we are all still alive after two serious accidents. It really was amazing that we walked away without injuries or even death. And then I thought of something else to be thankful for: we can afford to pay the new policy. Oh, we don’t like it and it is annoying…but we can afford it. I was ashamed. I was complaining when I should have been thanking the Lord, once again, for sparing my family in not one, but two, accidents. I should have been thanking the Lord that we were not making a choice between driving and eating.

Oftentimes the irritations we face in life are such small trials in the scope of life. They are inconvenient and annoying. We view them as major trials because they take us out of our comfort zones and force us to go a different direction than we wanted to go. Meanwhile, all around us, are people who are going through what I would call real trials – a loved one with cancer, a birth defect that changes everything, or the loss of a job and questions about survival, just to name a few.

James 1:2 tells us to count it all joy when you fall into various trials. We all face various trials – some are very small and some are very large. But through it all, it is very important to keep perspective and a thankful heart. Many of the small trials grow very dim in the light of the many blessings we have.

And so our family is paying an exorbitant amount for auto insurance this year. But we are all alive and it won’t keep us from eating so I am thankful!

And I wondered…could this be similar to how it works with someone we love?  Specifically, I was thinking of my husband and older children.  When I see something in their lives that just isn’t honoring the Lord, do I tend to push (nag, complain, punish, constantly bring it up)?

Of course, there are situations where we have to push.  But, more often than not, in my own personal experience, pushing leads to broken relationships and a very tired “pusher”.  Could it be that guiding and praying is a better way to deal with some situations?

I can think of several issues over the years where this has been true, but most recently, a specific issue comes to mind.  A few years ago I became very concerned about a pattern I was seeing in the life of one of my children.  This child was drinking multiple sodas every day and eating a ton of candy. They were old enough to make their own decisions and spent enough time outside our home that I could not control what they were putting into their body. I grew worried about the long-term ramifications of this pattern and so I started pushing. “You shouldn’t be drinking this.”  ”You shouldn’t be eating that.”  I was mostly ignored. “I’ve got to die from something, Mom,” they would say. After awhile, I realized that my words weren’t helping and I backed off and started praying.

That was probably a year ago now.  A few months ago, this child started making changes in their eating patterns. Awareness had dawned and changes were following. Only a few weeks ago, this same child came to me one morning and shared their serious intention to start curbing their sugar intake.  Their choices since then shows that they meant what they said that day. Wow.  Really?  Thank you, Lord!  You can change my child without my constant pushing and nagging!

Parenting is tough. Marriage is tough. But perhaps sometimes we make it so much harder when we try to push and pull and be the ones to bring about change in the lives of the ones we love instead of leaving it up to God?

And that is what I learned from grating a few bars of soap.

*In case you are curious, the project was making my own powdered detergent for my HE washer. I found the recipe on Pinterest and thought I would give it a try. I have used it for several loads already and so far, so good!

Perhaps it is time to let the Joneses know that the war is over and they have won.  Perhaps we should declare “Enough” day. Enough of keeping up with the Joneses, enough gadgets, enough clothing.  As I browsed through a New York City store on Saturday, I became aware of how important this declaration is. As my daughter and I walked through the store and saw the expensive earrings, the amazing dresses, and the stylish shirts, the gnawing of “if only” started in our hearts. If only we could afford this. If only we could buy that.

But if we buy it we are only going to want something else. We realize that, right? It doesn’t solve the “want it right now” problem–we just find a different thing to want. I have first-hand experience with this, so you can trust that I know what I am talking about!

So what are some ways to help curb our appetite for “stuff”?

1)  Go shopping as little as possible. You really don’t even know what you are missing if you don’t pay too close attention. It isn’t until I walk through a store that I realize what I can’t (or shouldn’t) buy.  It isn’t until I walk through the store that I even care.

2) Realize that we don’t need the next best thing. Technology is the place where we really struggle with this insatiable desire. And Apple and Microsoft play off of this, don’t they?  We buy the latest and greatest and within a few short months it is outdated and old. I found this true with my iPad 1.  I was so excited to get an iPad.  And I do use it quite a bit for both business and personal use. But shortly after I bought it, iPad 2 came out. Oh well, I don’t really need a camera. Then iPad 3 came out. Wow, they keep talking about the incredible retina display…perhaps it is time to upgrade. But after a few minutes of thought, I realized I don’t need an iPad 3. It was that unhealthy desire creeping in. In the world we find ourselves in, a cool new thing is introduced every few months. We need to be content with what we have.

3) Stop making our stuff such a priority.  Have you ever seen someone get angry if they find a tiny scratch in their car? Or perhaps really get upset if someone accidentally breaks their latest gadget? We tend to put too much importance on our stuff. It becomes more important to us than  it should. This is a tough one. Sometimes we value our stuff more than we value people. We often have our priorities all turned around.  We need to get them back to the way they should be.

4) Use our material blessings for the glory of God. If we have been blessed with a spacious home, then let’s use it for Christian hospitality. If we have some extra money in our budget, let’s give it away instead of buying something for ourselves with it. Let’s remember that everything we have has been given to us by a gracious God to use for His glory. We are to be good stewards of these many blessings. Sometimes we forget this important fact.

5) Keep our eyes off of others. This is true in more ways than one. First, we need to keep our eyes off of others so we don’t covet what they have. If we see that so-and-so has a brand new car, we start growing discontent that we can’t have one, too. But we also need to keep our eyes off of others so that we don’t judge them when it comes to material possessions. We need to remember that what someone has or owns is between them and the Lord. We don’t know that person’s heart or their salary. We should never judge anyone for what they do or do not have. Let’s worry about our own lives and hearts and what God is calling US to do and keep our eyes off of others.

The declaration of “Enough” day actually came from a sermon by David Jeremiah that I was listening to the other day. It hit home for me. I truly do need to learn to be content with what I have. Because it is only through contentment that we can experience the true joy and peace that should come along with being a Christian.

Philippians 4:11-12 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Holiness.  What is it?  And why does it matter?  Why has this word almost disappeared from mainstream Christianity?

I think it is in great part because we do not have a biblical definition of Who God is.  We like to read about a “god” who meets our every need, who helps us find our purpose, and who grants our wishes. We aren’t so thrilled about a God who requires us to live holy and pure lives. We fill our minds with books that tell us who we want God to be, instead of the biblical description of God. God is holy, all-knowing, supreme, and loving. He hates sin and cannot tolerate it in any form.  We need to get to know the God of the Bible in order to properly understand holiness. God doesn’t exist to give me purpose and He doesn’t exist to fulfill my every need. His wrath is mentioned in scripture more times than His love. We can’t fully understand holiness if we are trying to define God in a way that pleases our emotions.

I also believe that an unbiblical understanding of who we are as human beings is to blame. I heard a song on Christian radio a few months ago that says “Jesus help me understand that I was worth dying for.”  I turned it off immediately. That isn’t biblical at all. The Bible tells us we WEREN’T worth dying for. That is the amazing beauty of salvation. It is God’s free gift to us, even though we were without any merit whatsoever. Over and over, outside the church and inside the church, we hear the common theme of how beautiful we are to Jesus. But this is not a biblical theme. Only through Jesus do we become pure and white and beautiful.  Only through Him do we have any merit.

If we have a LOW view of God and a HIGH view of ourselves, it leads us to have a very LOW view of sin.  We start believing that sin isn’t important.  That God understands and will forgive.  We don’t care about pleasing Him…we are more concerned with receiving blessings from the big “genie” in the sky. We become wrapped up in our own selfish desires, rights, and concerns and expect God to meet us there…instead of bending ourselves to His will and purposes. Holiness isn’t about a list of do’s and don’ts (what many like to call “legalism”), but it is instead a desire to show our love and gratitude to the God who has made a way for me, a sinner, to be reconciled with Him through the amazing sacrifice of His Son.

And this idea should affect all areas of our lives. I like to use the word “peas” to help me remember some of these areas (I really wanted to think of a meaningful word–but, alas, “peas” is the only thing my mind could come up with!)

1. Presentation–how do we present ourselves?  What kind of language do we use?  Are we modest in our dress?  Do we complain all of the time?  What do our priorities show about what we view as important? Can people tell we love the Lord by how we present ourselves?

2.  Entertainment–what do we watch?  What do we listen to?  What do we read?  If we couldn’t invite Jesus to join us…if our choices are full of the things God hates…then we can be sure we shouldn’t be watching, listening to, or reading it.  I fail to understand the rationalization that goes on in this area on a consistent basis by believers. If God hates it, we shouldn’t want any part of it — in real life OR on a page, a screen, or our car radio.

3.  Attitude–Who are we at home?  Are we kind, loving, and patient, or do we only put that face on when we are at church or work?  How would our families describe us? Do we think of others and their needs? Do we have an attitude of graciousness and kindness or do others view us as selfish, unpleasant, or angry?

4.  Stewardship–How do we spend our money?  Do we live in constant debt? How do we treat the bodies we have been blessed with? Do we overeat or eat to comfort ourselves?  How about the hours of each day?  Do we waste hours on activities that have no eternal value whatsoever?

Each of us probably struggles in one area more than another, but we all struggle.  I, personally, REALLY struggle with some of the things I have just mentioned.  But all four of the things listed above aren’t options but should be an outpouring of the love we feel for our God.

You see, holiness is about pleasing the Lord with every area of our life.  Eric Ludy puts it this way: ” Anything that turns the mind to self instead of the heavenly is opposite of Jesus; if it will not serve the purposes of Jesus Christ it has no allowance to be there.”

You know in your heart today where you struggle.  You know what part of your life you are struggling to live in purity and holiness.  We are all different.  But we are all the same in this:  We battle against our flesh and selfish desires.

But let us remember this:

 “God is only truly known in the soul as we yield ourselves to Him, submit to His authority, and regulate all the details of our lives by His holy precepts and commandments.”  A.W. Pink

 May we never give up our quest to please our heavenly Father with our life and our choices.  May we keep Him and knowing Him as our priority. May we turn away from our rebellious hearts.  And may we be wise and discerning in what we allow in our minds and our lives.  And may we never forget that the Lord will be with us all of the way, to strengthen and guide us.  He is faithful forever.  What a great God we serve!

Resources:

The Attributes of God by A.W. Pink (book) I wish every Christian would read this book.  It has been invaluable in helping me understand who God is.

Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst (book) I have not read this book (yet!) but heard her talk about how she studied God’s Word alone for a solution to her weight problem.  It is on my Reading List. 

Spiritualized Selfishness by Eric Ludy of Ellerslie Institute (sermon) This is one of the most convicting sermons I have ever listened to.  Eric Ludy does not mince words as he challenges believers on the many forms of selfishness that have become acceptable.

The Power of a Holy Life by John MacArthur (article) Excellent article on how Holy Living affects the world around us.

No More Games: Living and Breathing the Holiness of God by James MacDonald (sermon series) I haven’t heard this whole series but what I have heard is excellent!

“What does he want now?  He always has a problem, doesn’t he?  He is such a pain!” These words, or at least words like these, spilled out of my husband’s mouth as he spewed much of the frustration he had felt towards a troublesome customer for some years.  His employee was at the complaining customer’s property and had called with a question.  Unfortunately for my husband, the employee on the other end of the call was using his Nextel and had put it on speaker phone.  He had called with the customer right beside him and said customer had just heard my husband’s entire deluge of words directed at him.

What to do?  Our employee handled it as best he could.  He left my husband know immediately and in a nonchalant way that the man was right beside him and listening.  The conversation became stilted and was finished quickly.  My husband’s heart sank.  What kind of mess had he gotten himself into now?   He tries to treat all customers courteously and kindly, but every now and again, one stretches him to his limits.

After the mortifying realization of what had occurred, he made the decision to go and apologize to this man.  And, quite honestly, he was very well received.  After the apology and some open discussion, our relationship with this customer improved considerably and he is still our customer to this day.

As we laugh about it now, we also realize that there are some important lessons to be learned from the unfortunate incident.

1.         There will be people who frustrate us in life.  It is important that we apply scriptural principles in our dealings with them.  In Luke 6:31, Jesus says: And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.  If we apply this principle with the irritating people in our lives, it should change our responses.

2.         It is important to choose our words carefully, even when we are frustrated or irritated.  Too often we spout off words we don’t even mean in the heat of the moment.  Whether they are about someone or directly to that person, we need to use self-control when we express our frustration.

3.         Don’t be too proud to apologize.  The last thing my husband wanted to do was to go to this customer and apologize.  First, he doesn’t know him that well personally and second, it was just downright embarrassing.  So many times we are afraid to face the person we have offended or hurt, so we just pretend it will go away.  But it doesn’t!  That pain and hurt, even if forgiven, often lingers on in the heart of the person we hurt.  It is important that we offer our sincere apology immediately.   In the case of this customer, it was the best thing my husband could have done.  And, from my own experience (with my many mistakes in life!), it does get easier the more you do it.  If you are out of practice of apologizing, the first time will be agonizing.  You will stumble over your words and hesitate and feel foolish.  But try it!  I think you will find it so beneficial to your relationships, and at the very least, you will know that you have done the right thing.

4.         It is important to choose our words carefully always, but especially when we are in a public setting–on the phone, in the bleachers or on the sidelines, in a church hallway, or at a family gathering.  Ephesians 4:29 says: Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.  Does my speech impart grace to the hearers?  What a great test for our language.

Life is full of unpleasant, uncomfortable, and awkward circumstances.  It is important that we don’t miss the life lessons hidden in those moments.  The story above was just one such moment and even now, years later, we still think on the lessons we learned from that unpleasant incident.

But, over the years, a strange thing happened.  Mr. Clark began to feel a fatherly love in his heart for young Johnny.  He saw Johnny’s lack of education and hired a tutor.  He saw his need for clothing and hired a tailor.  He even started having Johnny join him in the main dining room for meals.  You see, Mr. Clark did not have any children and was a very lonely man.  After several years, Mr. Clark decided to adopt Johnny as his very own son.  Mr. Clark even changed his will so that Johnny became the sole heir of his vast estate.

After Mr. Clark adopted Johnny, you may think that their relationship changed.  Suddenly, Johnny  could do what he wanted.  He was free.  But Johnny continued to serve Mr. Clark in the same capacity.  Only now it wasn’t because it was his duty but, instead, because of his love for his master…who was now also his father.

I would submit to you that our freedom in Christ is quite similar.  I believe that Christian freedom has been misinterpreted for so long now, that we don’t even question whether or not today’s definition of “Christian Freedom” is biblical. Christian freedom isn’t about what we are allowed to do…it is about what we should do.  What will please the Father who adopted us as sons and daughters?  What choice will bring glory to God?  This applies to everything…from the tone of voice we choose to use when we are frustrated to whom we decide to marry…from what we turn on our television at night to the career path we follow.  Our desire to please the One who saved us should encompass every decision we make.

If we view Christian freedom as an excuse to fulfill our own desires and lusts (Galatians 5:13), we mock the cross.  Christ loved us so much that He died to free us from the heavy chains of sin.  And yet so many of us crawl right back to the sinful place we started and wallow there, claiming Christ’s continual forgiveness…or even worse yet, claiming there are no “rules” now that we are saved.  And you would be right–there are certainly not any rules. It isn’t about rules.  Just like Johnny, our lives change from one of obeying the law out of duty to one of obeying the law out of love.  The law doesn’t change, our hearts change.  What is expected of us doesn’t change, it is why we do what is expected of us that changes.  No longer do we feel like obedience is a chore, but, instead, we now consider it a privilege.

As we celebrate Easter this weekend, may we remember that Christ died and rose again to free us from our chains.  May we consider this amazing grace and our eternal inheritance with all sobriety and sacredness.  And may we endeavor to please Him because we love Him more than we love ourselves.

I was immediately totally and completely ashamed of myself. My whole reaction from the time the comment was made to the moment I spoke unkindly was sinful. What had I just done? And why was I so angry? I was angry because of a derogatory comment directed towards me. My sinful self shines so brightly in situations like this. And I am mortified at how quickly it shows itself. And so, within five minutes, I was apologizing, and a few minutes later we had a good long talk as to why that comment was made in the first place (which was actually frustration about a totally different situation).

So what does it matter? Why do I feel this is worth a blog post? In a conversation with a woman the other day she was telling me about her husband’s anger and how he will use the excuse that Jesus got angry. Many of us do that. Well, Jesus got angry, so I am allowed to get angry. We don’t view anger as the sin it is.

But, let’s stop and think for just a moment about that incident in the temple (Mark 11). Jesus went into the temple and drove out the moneychangers. Why was He angry that they were there? He was angry because they were offending God the Father. They were turning worship into a business.

And then let’s turn back to the last time we got angry. Was it because someone used God’s name in vain? Or because they are murdering babies in the womb every day? Or perhaps because they have glorified sin and have offended my Savior? In my case, it was because someone offended my pride. Other times it is because I don’t get my own way. Or perhaps someone did something hurtful to my child and I get angry about that.

Truly righteous anger is when we are offended because someone is offending our God. Any other anger is sinful. That is hard to swallow if we are someone who grows angry rather quickly. Some of us are so prone to outbursts of anger that we don’t even give it a thought anymore. It is just part of who we are and we don’t even feel conviction about it. We tell our spouses and children that it is just who we are and we can’t change it (which is just a lie and an excuse, of course).

And some of us rarely get angry. Our personalities are just pretty laid back and we don’t get riled about much of anything. If you are like this, you are probably wondering why I would even write on this topic.

And some of you are like me – very convicted about how angry and offended we get and realizing that this is not an attitude that pleases God. And so we continue the cycle of growing angry and then apologizing. And while I don’t expect perfection on this side of heaven, I have seen many people grow and mature in this area of anger. Even in my own life I have noticed that these angry moments have grown fewer and farther between. We can have victory in Christ! We don’t have to let our anger rule over us…but instead must choose to rule over it.

As I look out my window this morning, I see a beautiful sun-drenched sky. I see the beginning of a new day. Let’s take our focus off of ourselves for this one day. Let’s turn away from our offended and angry thoughts and stop and think for just a second about why we are so angry instead of letting our emotions take over. Let’s say YES to the Spirit and NO to the flesh. (Galatians 5: 16-25).

My Heart, Christ’s Home

by Robert Boyd Munger

One evening I invited Jesus Christ into my heart. What an entrance He made! It was not a spectacular, emotional thing, but very real. It was at the very center of my life. He came into the darkness of my heart and turned on the light. He built a fire in the cold hearth and banished the chill. He started music where there had been stillness, and He filled the emptiness with His own loving, wonderful fellowship. I have never regretted opening the door to Christ and I never will – not into eternity!

This, of course, is the first step in making the heart Christ’s home. He has said, “Behold I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” (Revelation 3:20). If you are interested in making your life an abode of the living God, let me encourage you to invite Christ into your heart and He will surely come.

After Christ entered my heart and in the joy of this new relationship I said to Him, “Lord, I want this heart of mine to be Yours. I want to have You settle down here and be perfectly at home. Everything I have belongs to You. Let me show You around and introduce you to the various features of the home that you may be more comfortable and that we may have fuller fellowship together.” He was very glad to come, of course, and happier still to be given a place in the heart.

The Library

The first room was the study – the library. Let us call it the study of the mind. Now in my home this room of the mind is a very small room with very thick walls. But it is an important room. In a sense, it is the control room of the house. He entered with me and looked around at the books in the bookcase, the magazines upon the table, the pictures on the walls. As I followed His gaze I became uncomfortable. Strangely enough, I had not felt badly about this before, but now that He was there looking at these things I was embarrassed. There were some books were there that His eyes were too pure to behold. There was a lot of trash and literature on the table that a Christian had no business reading, and as for the pictures on the walls – the imaginations and thoughts of the mind -  these were shameful.

I turned to Him and said, “Master, I know that this room needs a radical alteration. Will You help me make it what it ought to be? – to bring every thought into captivity to you?”

“Surely!” He said. “Gladly will I help you. First of all, take all the things that you are reading and looking at which are not helpful, pure, good and true, and throw them out! Now put on the empty shelves the books of the Bible. Fill the library with Scriptures and meditate on them day and night. As for the pictures on the walls, you will have difficulty controlling these images, but here is an aid”  He gave me a full-size portrait of Himself. “Hang this centrally,” He said, “on the wall of the mind.” I did, and I have discovered through the years that when my thoughts are centered upon Christ Himself, His purity and power cause impure thoughts to back away. So He has helped me to bring my thoughts into captivity.

May I suggest to you if you have difficulty with this little room of the mind, that you bring Christ in there. Pack it full with the Word of God, meditate upon it and keep before it the immediate presence of the Lord Jesus.

The Dining Room

From the study we went into the dining room, the room of appetites and desires. Now this was a very large room. I spent a good deal of time in the dining room and much effort in satisfying my wants.  I said to Him, “This is a favorite room. I am quite sure You will be pleased with what we serve.”

He seated Himself at the table with me and asked, “What is on the menu for dinner?”  “Well,” I said, “my favorite dishes: money, academic degrees, and stocks, with newspaper articles of fame and fortune as side dishes.” These were the things I liked – worldly fare. I suppose there was nothing radically wrong in any particular item, but it was not the food that should satisfy the life of a real Christian.

When the food was placed before Him, He said nothing about it. However, I observed that He did not eat it, and I said to Him, somewhat disturbed, “Master, don’t You care for this food? What is the trouble?”

He answered, “I have meat to eat that you do not know of. My meat is to do the will of Him that sent Me.” He looked at me again and said, “If you want food that really satisfies you, seek the will of the Father, not your own pleasures, not your own desires, and not your own satisfaction. Seek to please Me and that food will satisfy you.”

And there at the table He gave me a taste of doing God’s will. What a flavor! There is no food like it in all the world. It alone satisfies. Everything else is dissatisfying in the end.

Now if Christ is in your heart, and I trust He is, what kind of food are you serving Him and what kind of food are you eating yourself? Are you living for the lust of the flesh and the pride of life – selfishly? Or are you choosing God’s will for your meat and drink?

The Living Room

We walked next into the living room. This room was rather intimate and comfortable. I liked it. It had a fireplace, overstuffed chairs, a sofa, and a quiet atmosphere. He also seemed pleased with it. He said, “This is indeed a delightful room. Let us come here often. It is secluded and quiet, and we can fellowship together.”

Well, naturally as a young Christian I was thrilled. I couldn’t think of anything I would rather do than have a few minutes with Christ in intimate companionship. He promised, “I will be here early every morning. Meet me here, and we will start the day together.” So morning after morning, I would come downstairs to the living room and He would take a book of the Bible from the bookcase. He would open it and then we would read together. He would tell me of its riches and unfold to me its truths. He would make my heart warm as He revealed His love and His grace He had toward me. These were wonderful hours together. In fact, we called the living room the “withdrawing room.” It was a period when we had our quiet time together.

But, little by little, under the pressure of many responsibilities, this time began to be shortened. Why, I’m don’t know, but I thought I was just too busy to spend time with Christ. This was not intentional, you understand; it just happened that way. Finally, not only was the time shortened, but I began to miss a day now and then. It was examination time at the university. Then it was some other urgent emergency. I would miss it two days in a row and often more.

I remember one morning when I was in a hurry, rushing downstairs, eager to be on my way.  As I passed the living room,  the door was open. Looking in, I saw a fire in the fireplace and Jesus was sitting there. Suddenly in dismay I thought to myself, “He was my guest. I invited Him into my heart! He has come as Lord of my home. And yet here I am neglecting Him.”

I turned and went in. With downcast glance, I said, “Blessed Master, forgive me. Have You been here all these mornings?” “Yes,” He said, “I told you I would be here every morning to meet with you.” Then I was even more ashamed. He had been faithful in spite of my faithfulness. I asked His forgiveness and He readily forgave me as He does when we are truly repentant.

“The trouble with you is this: you have been thinking of the quiet time, of the Bible study and prayer time, as a factor in your own spiritual progress, but you have forgotten that this hour means something to me also. Remember, I love you. I have redeemed you at great cost. I value your fellowship. Now,” He said, “do not neglect this hour if only for my sake. Whatever else may be your desire, remember I want your fellowship!”

You know, the truth that Christ desires my companionship, that He loves me, wants me to be with Him, wants to be with me and waits for me, has done more to transform my quiet time with God than any other single fact. Don’t let Christ wait alone in the living room of your heart, but every day find some time when, with your Bible and in prayer, you may be together with Him.

The Workroom

Before long, He asked, “Do you have a workroom in your home?” Down in the basement of the home of my heart I had a workbench and some equipment, but I was not doing much with it. Once in a while I would play around with a few little gadgets, but I wasn’t producing anything substantial or worthwhile.

I led Him down there.  He looked over the workbench and what little talents and skills I had. He said, “This is quite well furnished. What are you producing with your life for the Kingdom of God?” He looked at one or two little toys that I had thrown together on the bench and held one up to me. “Are these little toys all that you are doing for others in your Christian life?”

“Well,” I said, “Lord, that is the best I can do. I know it isn’t much, and I really want to do more, but after all, I have no skill or strength to do more.” “Would you like to do better?” He asked.

“Certainly,” I replied. “All right. Let me have your hands. Now relax in me and let my Spirit work through you. I know that you are unskilled, clumsy and awkward, but the Holy Spirit is the Master-Worker, and if He controls your hands and your heart, He will work through you.” And so, stepping around behind me and putting His great, strong hands over mine, controlling the tools with His skilled fingers He began to work through me.

There’s much more that I must still learn and I am very far from satisfied with the product that is being turned out, but I do know that whatever has been produced for God has been through His strong hand and through the power of His Spirit in me.

Do not become discouraged because you cannot do much for God. Your ability is not the fundamental condition. It is He who is controlling your fingers and upon whom you are relying. Give your talents and gifts to God and He will do things with them that will surprise you..

The Rec Room

I remember the time He asked me about the playroom. I was hoping He would not ask about that. There were certain associations and friendships, activities and amusements that I wanted to keep for myself. I did not think Christ would enjoy them or approve of them, so I evaded the question.

But there came an evening when I was on my way out with some of my friends, and as I was about to cross the threshold, He stopped me with a glance and asked, “Are you going out?” I replied, “Yes.” “Good,” He said, “I would like to go with you.”

“Oh,” I answered rather awkwardly. “I don’t think, Lord Jesus, that You would really want to go with us. Let’s go out tomorrow night. Tomorrow night we will go to prayer meeting, but tonight I have another appointment.”

He said. “That’s alright. Only I thought that when I came into your home, we were going to do everything together, to be close companions. I just want you to know that I am willing to go with you.” “Well,” I said, “we will go someplace together tomorrow night.”

That evening I spent some miserable hours. I felt wretched. What kind of a friend was I to Jesus when I was deliberately leaving Him out of my associations, doing things and going places that I knew very well He would not enjoy? When I returned that evening, there was a light in His room, and I went up to talk it over with Him. I said, “Lord, I have learned my lesson. I can’t have a good time without You. From now on we will do everything together.”

Then we went down into the playroom of the house and He transformed it. He brought into life real joy, real happiness, real satisfaction, new friends, new excitement, new joys. Laughter and music have been ringing through the house ever since.

The Hall Closet

There is just one more matter that I might share with you. One day I found Him waiting for me at the door. An arresting look was in His eye. As I entered, He said to me, “There is a peculiar odor in the house. There is something dead around here. It’s upstairs. I think it is in the hall closet.” As soon as He said this, I knew what He was talking about. Yes, there was a small closet up there on the landing, just a few feet square, and in that closet, behind lock and key, I had one or two little personal things that I did not want anyone to know about and certainly I did not want Christ to see them. I knew they were dead and rotting things left over from the old life. And yet I loved them, and I wanted them so for myself that I was afraid to admit they were there.

Reluctantly, I went up with Him, and as we mounted the stairs the odor became stronger and stronger. He pointed at the door. “It’s in there! Some dead thing!” I was angry. That’s the only way I can put it. I had given Him access to the library, the dining room, the living room, the workroom, the playroom, and now He was asking me about a little two-by-four closet. I said to myself, “This is too much. I am not going to give Him the key.”

“Well,” He said, reading my thoughts, “if you think I’m going to stay up here on the second floor with this odor, you are mistaken. I will take my bed out on the back porch. I’m certainly not going to put up with that.” Then I saw Him start down the stairs.

When you have come to know and love Christ, the worst thing that can happen is to sense His fellowship retreating from you. I had to surrender. “I’ll give You the key,” I said sadly, “but You’ll have to open the closet and clean it out. I haven’t the strength to do it.” “I know,” He said. “I know you haven’t. Just give me the key. Just authorize me to take care of that closet and I will.” So with trembling fingers I passed the key to Him. He took it from my hand, walked over to the door, opened it, entered it, took out all the putrefying stuff that was rotting there, and threw it away. Then He cleaned the closet and painted it, fixed it up, doing it all in a moment’s time. Oh, what victory and release to have that dead thing out of my life!

Transferring the Title

Then a thought came to me. I said to myself, “I have been trying to keep this heart of mine clear for Christ. I start on one room and no sooner have I cleaned that then another room is dirty. I begin on the second room and the first room becomes dusty again. I am so tired and weary trying to maintain a clean heart and an obedient life. I am just not up to it!”

So I ventured a question: “Lord, is there any chance that You would take over the responsibility of the whole house and operate it for me and with me just as You did that closet? Would You take the responsibility to keep my heart what it ought to be and my life where it ought to be?”

I could see His face light up as He replied, “Certainly, that is what I came to do. You cannot be a victorious Christian in your own strength. That is impossible. Let me do it through you and for you. That is the way. But,” He added slowly, “I am not owner of this house. I am just a guest. I have no authority to proceed, since the property is not mine.” I saw it in a minute and dropping to my knees, I said, “Lord, You have been a guest and I have been the host. From now on I am going to be the servant. You are going to be the owner and Master and Lord.”

Running as fast as I could to the strongbox, I took out the title deed to the house describing its assets and liabilities, location and situation and condition. I eagerly signed it over to belong to Him alone for time and eternity. “Here,” I said. “Here it is, all that I am and have forever. Now You run the house. I’ll just remain with You as a servant and friend.”

He took my life that day and I can give you my word, there is no better way to live the Christian life. He knows how to keep it in shape and deep peace settles down on the soul. May Christ settle down and be at home in your heart as Lord of all!

Last night, upon finishing the first of the series, Anne of Green Gables, I couldn’t help but think of the character of Marilla.  Marilla was a spinster who, along with her brother Matthew, brought an eleven year old orphan girl into her home to raise.   She had never been taught to share her feelings and found it difficult to praise Anne, even when Anne had accomplished something remarkable.  Marilla, in effect, had a crust around her heart.  And, yet, the author made it clear just how very much Marilla loved Anne and showed the conflict that Marilla felt within herself in those moments where something positive should have been said.

It gave me great insight into the characters we run into every day.  Just a few weeks ago, I was quite pleased with something I had accomplished and someone, off-handedly, made me feel like they thought it was silly and unimportant.  Marilla’s character helped me understand this in a new way.

You see, I am not sure we always say what we feel.  Some of us just spout off words without thinking how they sound.  And some of us, never having seen an example of giving encouragement and praise, find it extremely difficult to say nice things.  Some of us, when we are overcome with emotion, say things that may even sound brusque or harsh.  But we love deeply, just the same.

And I guess Marilla’s crusty exterior teaches us two things–

1)  Our relationships with others must overflow with grace.  We should never give up on anyone.  Oftentimes, we do not know the circumstances or relationships that formed who they are today.  People always do things for a reason.  Life is too short to be holding grudges, anyway.  Let’s strive to love others like Jesus loves them, no matter what they have said to us.   Grace — what a wonderful word.

2) It makes me examine my personal use of language.   Before speaking, let’s ask ourselves: Is this a necessary thing to say?  Will it add or take away a block to the wall between us?  Are these words going to edify this person or tear them down? (Ephesians 4:29)  Scripture makes it quite clear that even when we need to confront someone about sin, it is to be done in Christian love.  There is never room for harsh, unkind words.  And yet some of us use them almost every day.  May we strive to encourage others with our words, and, when necessary, may we wrap confrontation with loving kindness.

I am so glad I picked up Anne of Green Gables, by Lucy Maud Montgomery.   It is a beautiful story full of life lessons.  I highly recommend it!

It was a team of high school boys and I couldn’t help but reflect on how often boys that age don’t want to be told what to do.  So why were they so acquiescent for these coaches?  I believe it is because playing basketball is something they love to do.  The cost of obedience and hard work was worth the opportunity to play a sport they enjoy.

I couldn’t help but compare that to how we follow Jesus.  We say we love Him and yet, so many of us want to listen to our own voices instead of His.  We take Bible verses out of context and instead of obeying what it is truly commanding, we devise meanings that soothe our souls.  And, in the meantime, the body of Christ reaps the harm of our personal choices.

We often choose to not obey, or perhaps partially obey:

“God, I will give you this $100, but I just can’t afford to give 10% all of the time.”

“God, I know that you have blessed me with this comfortable home, but I just don’t have the energy to host anyone.”

“God, I know you have given me a healthy, strong body and that there is something I could be doing to minister in my church, but I just don’t have time.”

“God, I know you call me to live a pure and holy life, but the entertainment of today is just so funny and it is only portraying real life.”

Of course, there would be many more examples.  And we end up hurting not only ourselves but our team (the body of Christ) with our selfishness and our insistence to do things our own way.   And I can’t help but go back to the question of why.

The basketball players obey because they love the game of basketball.  Many of us claim to love Jesus, but we do not want the obedience and call to selfless and holy living that goes along with that claim.  Oh, we want the perks of peace and joy and eternal life.  But we would prefer to ignore the commands like deny ourselves (Luke 9:23), to be generous (2 Cor 9:5), to live a holy life (Ephesians 1:4), and that we should not love the world or the things in it (I John 2:15), just to name a few.  We are called to completely surrender our lives to Christ.

So I look way down deep in my heart and ask the question: Do I love Jesus enough to follow without question or exception?  Or am I squirming and questioning when it gets inconvenient and uncomfortable and costs me something?  It is a sobering thought.

I do not even feel qualified to write about this.  This is a constant struggle for me.  But I guess if I only wrote about the things in life I have perfected, I would never write anything!

Whether we like it or not, the concept of a wife submitting to her husband is biblical (Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3).  If you are a woman with leadership skills and a strong personality this directive is especially challenging.

Many of us are women who naturally take charge.  We don’t mean to portray anything negative or unkind.  Lots of times we don’t even realize we are taking control from our husbands.  We are often so busy organizing and controlling our children that we just start trying to do the same with our husbands.

In our home, this leads to some fireworks!   Thankfully, my husband isn’t going to tolerate me taking over his role as leader and so we have had to deal with this word on a frequent basis.  I have truly had to give some contemplation to this word and what it means for me and my role in my marriage.

The other day while I was reading Galatians 3:28, which is the verse about how we are all one in Christ Jesus, my eyes slid down to the MacArthur notes at the bottom.  And something caught my eye.  It was about submission:

Nor is this spiritual equality incompatible with the God-ordained roles of headship and submission in the church, society, and at home.  Jesus Christ, though fully equal with the Father, assumed a submissive role during his incarnation.

I don’t know why, but I had never thought of that before.  And I realized that Jesus is our perfect model for submission.  On the night before his crucifixion, when He prayed “Not My will, but Yours, be done,”  He was submitting to the Father, someone who was His equal.

I think perhaps that is where I get messed up.  In our culture, submission means inferiority.  The lesser person submits to the powerful, greater person. But when the Bible talks about submission it is never about the issue of inferiority.   It is hard for us to work through that, isn’t it?  Submission feels like inferiority.  But if we are practicing biblical submission and our husbands are practicing biblical love, then we are experiencing God’s perfect design for marriage.  And it is good.

On this day, we all find ourselves in different places.  You may be like me and have lots of fireworks in your home as you work through this issue.  You may have this down because you are naturally a follower.  You may be struggling because you have a husband who refuses to lead.  Or you may have a husband who is unloving and unkind in his leadership.  But, somehow or other, we Christian women all need to deal with this word.  What a comfort to see Jesus’ example of this as He went to the cross to die for us.

May we be women who never give up trying to grow in this area of our lives, no matter how our husbands choose to play their role as leader.  And by growing, may we set a good example for our daughters and the young girls who are watching us.

Now, I am not here to defend our company. Perhaps we need  to train our employees to be more observant.  However, what I really want to focus on is this shift in our culture to blame anything bad that happens to us on someone or something else.

We don’t want to take responsibility and so we offer up all kinds of excuses.  If we are overweight, we blame it on our metabolism.  If we are angry, we blame it on the person who “made” us angry.  If our kids aren’t doing well in school, we blame the teacher.  If our children aren’t growing in Christ, we blame the church.  If we are addicted to anything, it is someone else’s fault – certainly not ours!

But there are consequences for our actions and even for our ” inaction”.  If we choose to ignore the health of our trees and shrubs, disease may sneak in and kill them.  If we choose to ignore our children’s entertainment habits, Satan may sneak in and spiritually destroy them.  If we choose to eat whatever we want and never exercise, we will not only weigh more, but may even suffer from high blood pressure or diabetes because of it.   If we do not require our children to study, they will probably not do well in school.  And when these things happen, it won’t be anyone’s fault but our own!

Instead of languishing in the land of self-pity and blame, we need to take responsibility and, with much prayer and biblical counsel, start moving forward out of the morass we find ourselves in.  We have all made mistakes.  We have all chosen the wrong path at times.  But if we acknowledge our sin, repent of it, and change our direction, the Lord will be there to strengthen and guide us!

Unfortunately, hemlocks often die if we wait too long to treat them.  Thankfully, we serve a big God and it is never too late to repent, turn to God for help, and move forward.

Psalm 25:9   The humble He guides in justice, And the humble He teaches His way.

Question Submitted:

I have a question that has weighed heavy on my heart. If you know that someone is lying (to groups of people) about XXXXXXXXX because you were there when it happened, what should you do (if anything)?

It really upset me to sit and hear the story retold in a way that I know did not happen, because I was there. Also, several people are being deceived to believe a lie for the benefit of the storyteller. I wanted to believe that the person telling the story just simply forgot and maybe truly does remember the story the way that they are telling it but I know that the lie is deliberate. The lie benefits them and makes them look good.

So, my question is: What should I do or say (if anything) about this un-truth being established and perpetuated?

The Answer:

Your obligation is to Christ and Truth, first and foremost. We participate in a lie when, we allow one to be believed. You should first approach the person directly and make sure you are not mistaken. If you are not mistaken then ask them to correct the situation. If they do not correct the situation, then let the people know the truth. If you have the courage to do it in a forum where the perpetrator of the lie is present or will know about it, do it that way. This helps the people you are trying to get the truth to, know that you are not just talking about the person behind their back trying to stir up trouble, but that you are standing for truth and therefore not afraid to confront the person telling the lie. Be loving and kind, yet firm.

Here is some advice for those who believe that the 21st of May 2011 is actually going to be the rapture. We hope that you consider this advice carefully:

1.Be prepared to accept that you are wrong. Many others have claimed to know the end of the world before now, and obviously they were wrong. They too misinterpreted Scripture, so if the rapture does not occur on the 21st of May 2011 then you will have joined their ranks. This will be a blow to your ego and some will find this failure very emotional. The best course of action is to prepare to be humble.

2.Don’t let this failure destroy your faith. The Bible was not wrong, you just interpreted it incorrectly. Harold Camping and his complex string of assumptions and fact fiddling has failed you, God’s Word has not failed you.

3.If you are (were) not raptured on the 21st of May 2011, don’t panic. It is not because you are a bad Christian, it is because the date is wrong. You’ll find it hard to believe that something you held with such ardor and faith is erroneous, and so you will be prone to blame yourself. Don’t fall into the trap of self condemnation, read Romans 8:1.

Read more here:

…Epic Fail
http://www.cultwatch.com/HaroldCamping.html

[HT: Spiritual Research Network]

Related:

Camping remains silent, while the world offers comfort to his followers
http://hken.ibtimes.com/articles/149780/20110522/doomsday-harold-camping-followers-rapture-what-now.htm

Calvary Bible Church extends hope and love to Doomsday prophet Harold Camping’s followers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oh64X2up01k

What now for Harold Camping’s followers after failed rapture?
http://www.christiantoday.com/article/what.now.for.harold.campings.followers.after.failed.rapture/28025.htm

Help for Harold Camping Followers
http://pureprovender.blogspot.com/p/help-for-harold-camping-followers.html

False Prophet Once Again A Public Clown
http://moriel.org/MorielArchive/index.php/discernment/church-issues/false-prophets/false-prophet-once-again-a-public-clown

The May 21 Fallout…
http://billrandles.wordpress.com/2011/05/22/the-may-21-fallout/

“Concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able also to admonish one another.” (Romans 15:14)

Scripture is the source of godly counsel

In recent years the question of who is competent to counsel has become an important issue in the church.  Many pastors and other church leaders have curtailed their counseling ministries or stopped them altogether.  They’ve been made to feel inadequate for not having formal training in psychological counseling techniques.

Behind this movement away from pastoral counseling is the subtle implication that the Holy Spirit and Scripture are incapable of addressing the deepest needs of the human heart.  It is claimed that only secular psychology dispensed by trained analysts can do that.

But the truth is, the heart of man is “more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).  No one. That includes humanistic counselors.  Verse 10 says, “I the Lord search the heart, I test the mind.” Only God can understand the human heart.

David prayed,

“O Lord, Thou has searched me and known me. Thou dost know when I sit down and when I rise up; Thou dost understand my thought from afar. Thou dost scrutinize my path and my lying down, and art intimately acquainted with all my ways…Where can I go from They Spirit? Or where can I flee from they presence?” (Psalm.139:1-3,7).

Only God knows what’s in a person’s heart.  Only His Spirit working through His Word can penetrate one’s deepest thoughts and motives to transform the heart and renew the mind (Hebrews 4:12; Romans 12:2).

Professional psychologists are no substitute for spiritually gifted people who know the Word, possess godly wisdom, are full of goodness, and are available to help others apply divine truth to their lives (Romans 15:14).

When people come to you for counsel, the best thing you can do is show them what God’s Word says about their problem and how it applies to their situation. But you can’t do that unless you know the Word and are allowing it to do its work in you first. Then you’ll be in a position to counsel others more effectively.

Suggestions for Prayer: 

 Thank God for the wise and all-sufficient counsel of His Word. Reaffirm your commitment to share it at every opportunity.

For Further Study: 

 According to Psalm 119:24, on what did the psalmist rely for his counsel?

Drawing Near by Dr. John MacArthur

It is the most difficult of maneuvers. There are no guarantees of success. And the stakes are high. But we have no choice: we must learn how to do it. How do you disarm an angry person? The angry person could be a child, parent, spouse, friend, neighbor or counselee. And, of course, we could use a little disarming ourselves sometimes.

It all depends on your preparation. Our most common responses to anger are either fear or anger – responses that have very little potential to disarm anyone. When you retreat or withdraw in fear, the angry person still has the loaded gun, and will keep it handy because the one with the gun wins. All they have to do is brandish their side arms around and angry people get what they want. The cycle never ends.

Following the old fight or flight tradition, others respond to angry people by getting out their own guns. After all, justice demands a fair fight. If the angry person is going to wave a gun, you will wave yours too. The problem here is fairly straightforward: someone is going to get hurt and since the angry person is likely to be more skilled and experienced than you, you are the one who gets shot. And yes, as in the cartoons, you get up to fight another day, but people are still shooting each other.

Your preparation for a more effective confrontation is counterintuitive, as are most of God’s ways. Humility is the way of strength. Weakness is the new unstoppable force. “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). The cross of Jesus Christ changes everything. Satan himself – the angriest in all creation – is disarmed through self-sacrificial humility. The way to be a true human being, in all its strength, is now portrayed clearly in Jesus and is available through the Spirit.

For us, this path begins as we hold loosely to our desires. For example, most of us want something from the angry person – love and respect are high on that list. There is nothing wrong with wanting love and respect, but you would do best to shoot them yourself before the other person does. You will find that you won’t die. Instead, as you put to death the things that you want from the angry person, you will notice—perhaps for the first time—a hint of freedom and even boldness. When you have nothing to loose you can perform some unusual feats of strength.

Think about it. The angry person is screaming about how you are such an idiotic jerk, and if you aren’t as concerned with pleasing people or bolstering your own reputation, you can respond with something other than anger or fear. If the angry person’s pleasure or your own reputation is critical to you, you will be controlled by the angry person. So kill these before the other person shoots. The result is that there is nothing left to shoot, and you are free to speak from a place of weakness and say something like:

“Could you help me to see how I am an idiotic jerk – I will listen to you if you want to talk about it.” (Important note: NO sarcasm).

“What’s wrong?”

Or, you might decide that, at that moment, you can’t say anything to the deranged gunslinger, because you don’t have a clue what to say and the angry person has become an utter, animal-like fool, so you raise the anger incident later. With nothing to loose, your options are endless.

Track the life of Jesus and you will see that he was never angry because of the insults and derision of the religious leaders. He never took the attacks of others personally. That’s what happens when you live to enhance the Father’s reputation, you empty yourself of any interest in your own personal honor and reputation, and you love other people more than they love you. That’s what happens when you know that your Father is the perfect judge, so you don’t have to be the judge pro tem.

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. (1 Peter 2:23)

Here is how to move forward.

1. Don’t minimize the destruction of anger. You are getting shot at! Of course it hurts.
2. You are setting out to learn a disarming strategy that takes humility and love, and this is way over your head. As such, “Lord have mercy on me” is the order of the day.
3. Remember that angry people are blind to their own anger. They are the last to know that they are killing people. Instead, all they see is that they are right and others are wrong. Assume that they are spiritual lunatics.
4. Divest yourself of all the things you desire and cherish for yourself. Do you want love? Toss it and keep only the necessities, such as the desire to love. Do you need respect and understanding? It will only be an encumbrance. Get rid of it.
5. Move toward the angry person in love and humility. Fear runs away, anger attacks. Humility and love move toward. In a surprise attack they blindside angry people with weakness. Your timing will be important. Sometimes you can say something while the gun is aimed. Other times you will wait and speak later.
6. The person’s anger could have many reasons – you being one. But murderous anger is always wrong. At some point, from your place of love and humility, you will hold up the mirror and help angry people see themselves (Matthew 7:5).

ht: Ed Welch

“When relationships are built around the truths of the gospel—the truth that we are walking in light even though we are still sinners in need of cleansing by his blood—we can be free from feelings of inferiority and the demanding spirit that is born of pride. We can pursue relationships without fear of being discovered as the sinners we are. This kind of open relationship rests solely on the realities of the gospel. We are more sinful and flawed than we ever dared believe, and so is everyone we know. Because of this, we won’t be surprised by other’s sins. They won’t expect us to be sinless either, so we don’t have to give in to self-condemnation and fear when they see us as we really are. We don’t have to hide or pretend anymore.
The gospel also tells us that we are loved and welcomed without any merit on our part, so we can love and welcome others whose merits we can’t see. We can remember the circumstances under which we have been forgiven, and we can forgive in the same way. We don’t deserve relationship with the Trinity, but it has been given to us. We can seek our relationships with others because we know that we have been sought out by him and that he is carrying us all on his shoulders.” (Yes, he is that strong!)
Elyse Fitzpatrick and Dennis Johnson, in Counsel from the Cross: Connecting Broken People to the Love of Christ (pp. 86-87)

ht: Between Two Worlds

Starting in fall 2008, the Evergreen group meets once a week. They are using Peter Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, to guide and direct their discussion. Another resource they find useful is a mental health self-help program called The Living Room, which is also being used by Highland (MB) Community Church in Abbotsford, B.C.

The word is out – when mental illness arrives in the pews of MB churches, church leaders and volunteers are finding ways to provide the support that is needed. Places like Evergreen Heights are leading the way.—SC

-Evergreen Heights responds to mental illness
(http://www.mbconf.ca/home/products_and_services/resources/
publications/mb_herald/mb_herald_april_2009/people_and_events/
evergreen_heighs_responds_to_mental_illness/)

Evergreen Heights Christian Fellowship (www.evergreenheights.org), a Mennonite Brethren Church, is also a Purpose Driven church. Not only are they leading the way by ministering to those with mental illness, which is admirable, they are unfortunately doing so the contemplative way by using Peter Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Sadly, this is not based on biblical counseling methods, but rather on contemplative interfaith methods. As has been revealed here, it also draws from many different streams of spirituality.

To begin with, the mental health self-help program they are using called The Living Room (www.livingroomsupport.org) is also used by another Mennonite Brethren church in British Columbia called Highland Community Church (highlandcommunitychurch.blogspot.com). (This church incidentally links to several contemplative ministries as well, for example: cathyhardy.blogspot.com and http://www.soulstream.org.)

Another issue of concern is the fact that The Living Room links itself to interfaith organizations, such as NAMI Faithnet, Pathways to Promise: Interfaith Ministries & Mental Illness (www.pathways2promise.org/) and Mental Health Ministries. The latter (found @ http://www.mentalhealthministries.net) has the following description on their website:

The focus is on spirituality and mental illness rather than a particular faith tradition. A distinction is made between spirituality and religion. Spirituality springs from a belief system that gives meaning to our lives. It grows out of our experience rather than doctrine. Religion, on the other hand, refers to a faith community grounded in a set of beliefs, practices and a shared history such as churches, mosques, temples, etc.
-www.mentalhealthministries.net

Jesus said, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:37,38)

How can His bride, the Church, be leading the mentally ill to the pure living water found only through Christ, if they are also encouraging them to drink from the muddy streams of self-help and contemplative spiritual disciplines and Roman Catholic mysticism, in a mixture of spirituality campatible with other faiths?

Would a good shepherd lead his sick and thirsty sheep to muddy water?

Update: For more up to date reviews of the MB Herald, see Menno-lite.