If you find yourself in the kitchen . . . and

If it’s time to prepare dinner . . . and

If the dinner is for your favorite Kitty . . . and

If a cricket falls from the air vent above . . . and

If it manages to land on the top of your head . . . don’t

Fling your head around, thinking that will cause it to jump away.

It won’t.

Editor’s note: This is not a picture of me and unfortunately, these are not my boobs. 

But, after a few Janet Leigh-like screams (WARNING – turn volume down)

Download: female_scream_horror-neophyte-138499973.mp3|width=180|bg=0x0000ff|righticon=0xff0000

and the previously discussed “hair flinging”,

THAT is exactly where the cricket landed.

Our little region of the Earth is currently experiencing a cricket infestation, one of Biblical proportions.  I’m waiting with bated breath, at any moment, for water to turn to blood and boils to encompass my body! Frogs falling from the sky just might be an improvement over the crickets!  But, if anybody important is listening – I don’t really want to find out.

Credits:

Bubble Gif made with GIMP

Eddie Vedder Gif from fuckyeahpearljamgifs.tumblr.com

Moses cartoon from http://www.phillipmartin.com

Gates of Hell from http://www.onlyhdwallpapers.com

Sound effects -www.soundbible.com

As an aspiring fantasy writer, I’ve always wanted to attempt to make my own world, but every time I’ve tried it, my mind shorts out, mostly because there is so much that goes into making a world, and not just deciding which kingdom or city-state goes where or dragons of the ancient world became the deities.

The major issue that I always run into is the, for lack of a better term, the gimmick behind the world.  All of the other published worlds have that gimmick.  Eberron has the Last War and magical technology.  Dark Sun is post-apocalyptic with no divine magic.  Forgotten Realms has tradition and . . . Drizzt.

Drizzt Do’Urden: poster boy for the Forgotten Realms since the Year of the Singing Skull, 1297 DR.

So since this is where I really need to start, let’s look at some of the ideas I’ve come up with.

• Failed Demonic Incursion: In this world, the world is still suffering  from three centuries before when a demon lord–at this time not specified–made a nearly successful bid to rule the universe.  Three major things happened because of this: (1) a new, hopefully-playable  human/demon hybrid race, called the viridemons, has been somewhat integrated into society; (2) the demon lord’s bid failed when the armies of world managed to defeat it army, causing casualties and the fall of numerous societies; and (3) the demon did succeed in attaining godhood during a final, desperate ploy for power.  This world would be characterized by stabilized though fractured power bases, racial tensions, and fanatical factions.
• A Plague of Biblical Proportions: Not hardly fifty years ago, a deity of disease enacted a demented plan to destroy the world by unleashing a plague upon the world.  nearly thirty percent of the population died because of the disease and others have become plaguetouched, leaving them with strange, toxic abilities.  The plaguetouched would probably tak the form of a theme that could be applied to any race.  Civilizations crumbled and only the self-sacrifice of the deity of life was enough to strip the deity of disease of her immortality, though she managed to escape.  The life deity had created a mortal avatar to house a spark of that divinity, but the avatar was scarred by the attempt to defeat the deity of disease and has yet to be able to ascend to full godhood.  This world would be characterized by gods in the flesh, a semi-post-apocalyptic society, and shaken faiths.
• The Sky is Falling: Well, at least the stars are.  Over the last decade, at least fifteen large meteors have fallen from the heavens.  Arcanists and priests alike cannot figure out what is causing this mass shooting star phenomena.  Strange things happen to the sites of the meteor crashes: strange lights, manifestations of bizarre powers, and mutations, such as some sort of playable aberration race.  Another thing making this situation all the more baffling is the emergence of a new source of power: people with ability to create strange effects on the world solely with their minds, what is being called psionics.  This world would be characterized by mistrust of psionics users, strange cults popping up, and fears of impending apocalypse.

These three ideas are the ones that stood out from the mix.  Each one hinges on the major catastrophe.  The first has the catastrophe in the past, the second nearly present, and the third overhanging in the future.

And now that I have laid these options out, I’d like to hear what others think of these ideas.  Keep in  mind that, just because a world might received more votes than another doesn’t mean it will be the one I’d chose, though a huge percentage for one compared to another will tell me which one is a more worth my time.  So, check out this poll–bare with me, I’m new and I wanted a poll.

Also, feel free to let me know your thoughts below in the comments.

“Sky ‘rains tadpoles’ over Japan”

“Oh really?” I said to myself from my sickbed.  I then went to do a little research.

‘Raining Cats and Dogs’ is a rather popular phrase when the rain is pouring for the heavens but it’s not literal…well usually. However, apparently water creatures such as fish and frogs are top of the list of bizzaro things to rain down on us with other such things as birds, worms and even bats! (wtf)

There are several theories ranging from absurdly sci-fi (though lets be fair it wouldn’t look out of place in an abstract Japanese horror movie or typical Hollywood blockbuster) to the more believable but scientifically unproven meteorological occurrences.

I saw this and immediately thought “cool!”, surely I can’t be the only one! Part of me wants to believe in the absurd, sci-fi explanations and the other, logical half of me is completely sceptical and looks at ways to disprove it, but my second reaction to this was “*gasp* Biblical Plague!”

How dramatic.

See God and Moses had a thing going where Egypt was smote with 10 Plagues to break a race of people out of slavery. Egypt was essentially damned, though was a little cocky for a time with it’s magicians replicating the conditions, then failed spectacularly. However the point was the second curse was a plague of frogs!

Bible Trivia:

The first curse Moses and God inflicted was blood. All the rivers and water sources turned to blood and killed all the fish.

The fifth plague was ‘pestilence’ which was to exterminate Egypt’s livestock. (Anyone else thinking of Swine Flu, Foot and Mouth, Avian Flu etc?)

In Kerala, India, 2001 – reports of red rain fell over a period of 2 months.

“From July 25 to September 23, 2001, red rain sporadically fell on the southern Indian state of Kerala. Heavy downpours occurred in which the rain was coloured red, staining clothes with an appearance similar to that of blood.” - wikipedia article.

All very strange phenomenons, no? Half of it I’d put down to a hoax, but the red rain is cool from a scientific standpoint, but raining animals? Until I see it for myself I’ll just keep on changing my mind back and forth from Aliens to “God’s” final attempt to prove he’s a real, live boy after all.

Reference pages for more information:

Main Link – http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5491846/Sky-rains-tadpoles-over-Japan.html

Link – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raining_animals

Link – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_rain_in_Kerala

Link – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plagues_of_Egypt

Last night, I was burdened by the need to get some photographic evidence of the biblical proportions of this infestation. My son and I were emerging from the pizzeria with three hot pies when we first noticed the flies, so we drove home as quickly as possible to get the camera. Once there, I was distracted by a curiously red frog/toad sitting in the middle of the road enjoying the good fortune of the Mayfly social.

He had my attention for about fifteen minutes as I tried to get him to perform for the camera, but then I realized that he and every other amphibian and reptile were depleting the numbers of the swarm. Since this would reduce the impact of my photo op, we jumped back into the car and made for the local gas station. It’s one of those mega-models with dozens of drive-in bays and it’s own nuclear power plant to help run the lighting. We knew it would be Mayfly Mecca.

But something very Twilight-Zonish happened between the time that we left the house and the time that we reached the gas station. Every single fly vanished. Sure, there was evidence – millions and millions of wings littered the roadside – but there were no flies! The high-powered lights were unobscured, the motorcyclists unharrassed. Scratching our heads, we headed back home to do some research.  These wings were all that I found when I arrived.

What I learned is that some Mayflies only get to be adults for a short time. Entire populations all mature at the same time. Some live a few days; others only one half-hour. Having no mouths with which to take in nutrients, they literally starve to death. But there’s no time to eat, anyway. Mayflies have only one purpose as adults – they were made to love!

Yep. Adult Mayflies (a.k.a., “shag shad flies”) have just one thing on their mind, and thirty minutes is more than enough time to get it done. They are adept at mid-air mating (see etymology for “catching it on the fly”), and the males swarm to impress the females and convince them to join the swarm. Once they do, a love connection occurs, and the new couple fly off for some privacy. Once the eggs are fertilized, the female deposits them back in the water through various techniques known as “floating,” “splashing,” “dipping,” “landing” or “bombing” depending upon her mood. Mission accomplished, the Mayflies make like Hamlet, and they are gone as quickly as they emerged.

Philosophers from Aristotle onward have used the Mayfly as a metaphor for the ephemeral (“lasting but a day”) nature of life. I like it. Life is short. At least this side of eternity. And we spend so much time majoring in the minors of what it means to be alive, when really our purpose here on earth is not much different than the Mayfly’s. Get your mind out of the gutter – I mean, we were made to love. Love our God and love our neighbor as ourselves (though we should use different tactics than the ones described above).

Nothing else we do during this lifetime will last but the love we share. Not our accomplishments, not our money, not our names, not our buildings, not our writings….it will all pass away. But what will last are the relationships and the kindness that we show to one another. The love we share impacts lives here on earth and earns us rewards in heaven. It’s imperishable. Paul says it best:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. (1 Corinthians 13:1-10)

We were made to love.