Yet another addition to my collection of photos of bikes, bikers and biking around the world

Okay, so yesterday was another great day of surfing. One hitch.

The beach we were at, the beginner beach, is know for theft problems. WE got on the shuttle at Casa Oro and they warned us it was dangerous, don’t leave your stuff, yada yada. Sure, no problem.

Well, we didn’t take anything of value with us, but two Danish girls who did and walked down to one end of the beach by themselves were robbed of their cash and camera at knifepoint.

Not cool.

Then, our shuttle, which told us how dangerous it could be, leaves us out there until after dark. Shoddy.

But great day for us, we didn’t get robbed and the surfing was perfect for a beginner. But I hereby do NOT recommend Casa Oro, it is a bigger operation, and isn’t really very concerned about much but getting as many people through in a day as possible. The driver didn’t even say one word to us when he got there either, he was completely silent, not real friendly.

Theirs one question that I’ve had on my mind for the past couple of weeks when it comes to cars and motorbikes.

When you pull up images of cars in Google, you get the car in all it’s glory, and maybe, just maybe see the owner too, but when it comes to motorbikes, sex definitely sells!

No matter if your looking for your next motorbike, or even if your looking for motorcycle insurance, you can’t get away from the fact that it’s the women that’s doing the selling.

I think one company that seems to be promoting this online for the motorcycle insurance is bennetts, who have taken their brand from strength to strength, with the Bennetts Bucking Bike video which you can find on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VVNNgHbjOM and have to admit, I’ve been watching this time and time again, it’s one of those videos that you just can’t tire from.

But if you were to Google something like “bikers” you will see the men that show up in the results are all middle aged guys with either more facial hair than a ewak, or bald as ….. well, I don’t know what it is about these guys, but I’m seriously contemplating becoming one of them, as it’s them that seem to get all the beautiful women, and to be honest, if I had to go buy a bike like the one in the picture just to be surrounded by these beautiful women, then I would pay what ever motorcycle insurance I had to pay!

I’ve never been to a blog except for one, The Cyril Huze Blog. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here, but my people told me to make a Blog because it’s good for marketing Biker.FM, so here I am. I’m gonna try to figure out what I should write, then I’ll write something. I’m thinking the story of where Biker FM came from might be a good place to start. That or the story about what it feels like to get hit by a car. It f’n hurts. Now that I’ve shared that story, I’ll try to remember our past, then I’ll share our story soon. Now I’m going to hit the publish button to see what happens. Peace=

Ankle Biters

“Forget about what you’ve seen in the movies. All the legends are bogus: Vampires like sunlight, stakes don’t work, garlic is delicious and I really, really wish I was Blade, but unfortunately I happen to be lame.”

Jarv’s Rating: 0 fucking Changs. Walter most unimpressed.

Alright, I own up- I did doctor the end of that quote.

I’ve been on a right run of garbage recently. I actually saw this before Return of The Living Dead 2, but it made me die a bit inside, so I haven’t got round to writing it up until today.

Let me be absolutely clear about this from the start: this film is an abhorrent pile of garbage, I have nothing good at all to say about it. It’s grossly incompetent, but not in a fun way, the acting is awful, it neglects the absolute basics of making a film, the special effects are dire, the writing is atrocious, it is completely incoherent and it is no fun whatsoever.

This really makes me cross, because the premise is gold and the trailers make it sound much better than it actually is. My tolerance level for these kinds of films is extremely high, I can put up with more than most and can find something good to say about such absolute mince as Head Cheerleader, Dead Cheerleader. So for a film to get a 100% negative review from me, it has to actually work on being bad. Mere laziness and incompetence won’t cut it. This is that film.

The premise of the film is that in the near future the world (read- America) is being overrun by a vicious plague of biker vampire midgets and only Drexel (a half-vampire hybrid that thinks he’s the white version of Blade) and a motley crew of hunters can deal with it (one of the hunters is, incidentally, a multi-millionaire who lives in a white trash farm house- but it’s OK, you can tell he’s a millionaire because he is introduced buying a painting in a gallery. That’s how rich he is, he can buy art). Midget vampires can only make other vampires of diminished stature- to make a normal sized person a vampire they need a normal sized vampire. Luckily for them, there’s a magic sword around and if they kill someone with it, he becomes a big vampire. Cue boredom and irritation, before the most lame showdown I’ve ever seen.

As is usual with vampire films nowadays, they go out of their way to reinvent hundreds of years of Vampire mythology. Drexel kindly explains it, (yawn) but apparently everything we thought we knew about Vampires is actually rubbish. They can only be killed by injecting them with Vampire blood (what, why?), can wonder around in daylight, garlic etc doesn’t work, and so on. I understand that most of these were for budgetary reasons, and I can deal with that, but why the blood thing?

Midgets in these films almost always equal gold- see Chopper Chicks or the mighty Leprechaun films for examples of how to use midgets for fun and profit. This film is a rock solid example of how not to do it. Firstly, when dealing with dwarves the problem is always going to be getting round how fucking silly it looks when a normal sized person fights someone three feet smaller then him. Leprechaun managed it by cheating and using magic. Chopper Chicks humiliated the dwarf for entertainment. However, here, they fail by having people either fall over and wait for the dwarves to jump on and beat them up or (ridiculously) have the dwarf cling on to the back of the person he’s fighting. It’s awful and embarrasing.

However, as much as the waste of midget comdy gold makes me cross, my special anger is reserved for the Helen Keller clone that did the sound work in this. I appreciate that it was made for no money whatsoever, possibly on a camcorder, but someone needs a slap. You can hear the people close to the camcorder really clearly, but if the person speaking is more than 3 feet from it, you can’t hear a damned word. Not a word. The remote for the telly at Casa del Jarv was constantly in action adjusting the volume to try to make out what they were saying before I chucked a huff and sat and watched it in near silence (although the volume was set to pretty near max)with the look of a lottery winner that had lost his ticket on my face.

And as for the action scenes: Just. Fuck. Off.

Again, budgetary issues are at the heart of this, but having Drexel jump from the ground up onto a high gate backwards is not a special effect. Especially when it’s patently obvious that they filmed it by having him jump down from the fucking gate then inserted it in reverse in the film. (This is kind of indicative of the “special” effects in the film. Every so often Blade Drexel takes his sunglasses off to reveal lame contact lenses, and the vampire fangs are blatantly from a joke shop.) Or the fight scene where it looks like Drexel is getting buggered by the big biker vampire dude. And don’t even get me started on the showdown.

Did I mention that this film is also boring. And not just a little bit, terribly, awfully fucking dull. There’s shot after shot after shot of cars and bikes driving around for no apparent reason, and when every vampire in the town turns up at the showdown, they drive around in circles for what feels like forever. Aaaaaaaargh.

So, given all of the above, would I recommend it? Absolutely fucking not, under no circumstances would I even consider saying anything good about it at all. There isn’t even any gratuitous titty shots to enliven things- which is a must for low budget schlock.

This leads me to my conclusion- who is to blame for this? It would be easy to blame Adam Minarovich, being as he wrote it, directed it, starred in it, roped his friends and family in to working on it (his parents even did the catering), but I don’t blame him. That’s far too easy. I want to widen the net and find the real culprit of this atrocity. It could be the dickheads that picked it up for distribution, but I see them more as collateral damage. I think the person to blame for it is: THE FUCKING WALLMART EMPLOYEE THAT SOLD THAT MASSIVE TOOL MINAROVICH A DIGITAL CAMERA.

I’m tempted to fly to Buttfuck, Arizona or wherever the fuck this disgrace was filmed, find that asshat and beat him to death with my laptop. It’s all his fault.

If Die You Zombie Bastards didn’t exist then Ankle Biters would be the worst film I’ve ever seen. The film that manages to be so bad it’s actually bad.

Take a stroll down Any Street, USA and you’ll see that people spend a lot of time and money beautifying their yards. Who can blame them? Real estate is a huge investment and a yard can reveal a lot about a homeowner. But what’s revealed is not always a good thing. Here is photographic proof from my own neighborhood…

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Similar to Roman ruins, these miniature turquoise columns suggest a race of homosexual dwarfs once lived here. What kind of fabulous architecture did they once support? In other areas of the yard there are rock faces and flower bed borders painted this same color, lending the entire property an air of pastel squalor.

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OK, it’s hard to get a sense of the enormity of the freakish flora from this picture, but these bushes are huge. If you lived in this house and gazed out of any window or doorway towards your front yard, all you would see is branches. A hundred thousand branches to haunt your dreams. A landscaper could spend his entire career pruning just these two monsters.

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What we see here is perhaps a 6-foot length of shin-high wire fencing. It is neither decorative nor functional and is slowly being overrun by the encroaching weeds. This fence wouldn’t keep out a blind and crippled rabbit. Why someone hasn’t yanked it from the ground and slung it in the street is beyond me.

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Spray-painted pink yard chairs may not seem like such a decorative affront, but the people who live here are bikers. You know, real bikers—burly, heavy, middle-agers with glistening Harleys in the driveway and pink chairs in the yard. It just doesn’t go together. I would have taken a picture of the whole oxymoronic panorama but, fearing a beat down, didn’t want to stand in their yard with my camera any longer than necessary.

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Someone spent a lot of energy hauling these unwieldy concrete blocks across the yard and stacking them into this wavy, waist-high defensive wall. Its construction is as puzzling as that of the Great Pyramids of Giza. It doesn’t keep anything in or out and would be a considerable obstacle when mowing and weed eating. Why bother? Unless you were starting a neighborhood paintball course or needed something to high jump.

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This pitiful looking cow must have strayed from its herd. It now stands alone in this yard and has obviously grazed most of the grass within its reach. Perhaps it was staked there to hide the flimsy sapling or the snake pit of neon cables behind it. I must say that its beautiful eyelashes take focus from the hump-goiter that plagues its hide quarters.

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There are “race fans” all over the south, so I wasn’t surprised to find Jeff Gordon’s #24 sticking out of this flower bed. What is odd is the haphazard, careless placement of the numerals and the way they seem to have drunkenly collapsed against the shrubs. Any passing Jeff Gordon enthusiast would look upon this display as an outrage—the resident needs to stick them in the center of his yard within a weather-proof plastic dome with dramatic lighting and an eternal flame.

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Clearly the owners of this goal think no one will notice the 8 sandbags that lay beneath the flapping, split trash bag that is supposed to mask the half-ass repair, a fix they hope will keep the goal from falling down again onto one of their vehicles.  The object has lost all of its sports cred and has become something that resembles a futuristic pack animal. (I am no yard snob. This is our own embarrassing basketball goal.)

Honda has been a pinnacle company that makes excellent engines and quality parts that last the stand of time. Honda cars are well built and has a slight premium over it’s rivals in Japan like Toyota, Suzuki….etc. However they do not built mass market vehicles. It is the same with their two wheelers, Honda’s legendary motorcycle the Honda VFR has thorough bread built into it starting from the early 4 cams machines, this has spawn 7 generations of VFRs. You can read more about the VFR’s history over here.

You can see some of the excellent photos of the new Honda VFR1200F. Either you love it or hate it, either way, you might just enjoy it.

What a blessing! As the Sturgis Chapter of Soldiers For Jesus MC had our 4th Annual Nine Ball Tournament. We are raising the money from donations to benefit The Rapid City Club for Boys.

Grabbing a toy at Wally World...

This year we are teaming up with the local Hellfighters Motorcycle Ministry, these are a great bunch of guys and gals! We have become friends over the years and this year will be exciting as we have been helping them gather toys.
These toys will be delivered by all of us to children that need them on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

The stories are still told from last year as we shine the light of Jesus on the Rez..

We are excited too help and bring some joy to families that would not have something other wise.

We drove directly to the very top of the old city and parked the car at a scenic point where there was a stunning vista stretching out below us.  The city was built here because the rocky outcrop of land lies between two deep river gorges, the Júcar and the Huécar and it made an excellent location for a defendable fortress.  We walked down from the car park towards the main Plaza where there were gaily coloured houses, shops and pavement cafés and bars and the city’s Cathedral that was completed in the thirteenth century but partly fell down in 1902 and over a hundred years later the rebuilding of the façade still remains to be fully completed. 

It was time for refreshment so we stopped at a café with tables in the sun and watched a bizarre gathering of what must have been nearly a hundred bike enthusiasts all of whom looked as though they had stepped off of the set of Easy Rider.  The police weren’t very welcoming and more and more of them arrived to keep an eye on things.  They didn’t seem to doing any harm but eventually someone important told them to move on and they fired up their black and chrome machines and left the Plaza with much revving of engines in an attempt to make as much noise as they possibly could.  The police kept straight faces but all of the people at the pavement tables thought it was very entertaining.

After this the Plaza settled back into a lazy Saturday afternoon and we moved on to see the rest of the city.  Following the route towards the edge of the gorge it was plain to see how the city had developed.  There was only limited space at the top of the rock so as it grew and it was unable to expand outwards the city went up instead and that explained the tall houses.  Even more dramatically it also went as far as it possibly could in making use of all available space and in the fifteenth century houses were built with rooms and balconies precariously overhanging the gorge above the Huécar River.  These are called the Las Casas Colgadas, the hanging houses, and are the most famous attraction in the city.

It was time for lunch so we returned to the top of the city stopping on the way to climb the castle walls and to admire the scenery of the gorges stretching out on either side of the city.  Climbing even further we reached the top and there were vantage points of the city from elevated craggy rocks where people were walking out and taking as much risk as they dare just to get the perfect photograph.

Our first choice of restaurant had no available tables and as people seemed as settled in as barnacles the prospects didn’t look good for some time to come so we found a second choice with a table in the sun and on account of the high prices declined a full dining experience and settled for overpriced toasted bread with tiny toppings instead.  To be fair it was in an excellent location and something like 75% of the menu price was just for the magnificent view.

Cuenca is famous for birds of prey and overhead there were large birds that were riding the thermals and looking for lunch.  Some of them were buzzards, which are quite common in Northern Spain but later we saw something different that we later identified as the magnificent Spanish Imperial Eagle and we considered it a privilege to have seen them.

It was late afternoon so we left Cuenca getting slightly lost in the tangle of streets on the way out and with no real alternative returned to Chinchón by the same route, first through the rugged hills and the winding road and then to the gentle rolling plains and the long straight road.  We drove on wide empty roads, so empty in places that we wondered from time to time if we had missed a road closed sign.  Eventually we arrived at the industrial town of Tarancón, which was not a place to hang around so we drove swiftly through and then followed a more direct route than we had taken this morning directly back to Chinchón where preparations for tomorrow’s bullfight were stepping up and there were a number of road closures that made it somewhat difficult to get back to the hotel and then some parking restrictions that meant having to pay to use the underground car park.

We purchased some beer and wine from the little shop that was open again this evening and then those of us that had a balcony enjoyed an hour in the sun with a glass of wine and those of us that didn’t stayed in their rooms.  Later we returned to the same restaurant/bar as the previous evening and, because Sue and Christine had declared the menu acceptable, we had mostly the same food again as well.

[Update: 1,000 posts to date!]

[Found here.]

Cornwall Council officers are targeting younger motorcyclists in their latest road safety educational campaign…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: teaching. The blog is also related to: high school.

pagi pagi ujan… temen sebelah ga masuk,, kerjaan jadinya dobel.. ummhhh… enaknya sih tidur2an nih di kamar., hawanya enak banged….

info pagi ini yang aku baca mengenai  aturan baru tata tertib lantas sih udah bukan hal baru pasti buat kita2. cuman aku baru tau nih penerapannya mulai kapan n sanksinya apa…

guys, buat kamu yang ngakunya BIKERS SEJATI, kamu mesti baca nih. kamu pasti udah tau kan kalo Pengendara Motor a.k.a bikers kudu nyalain lampu pas siang2??? udah pernah denger dunk.. tapi yang baru aku liad, ternyata sekarang dah diperketat lagi bro.. nih kutipan yang aku dapet :

“ Tak Nyalakan Lampu, Didenda Rp100.000″

Rabu, 18 November 2009 – 09:25 wib.  JAKARTA – Direktorat Lalu Lintas Polda Metro Jaya akan mengenakan denda Rp100.000 bagi pengendara sepeda motor yang tidak menyatakan lampu pada siang hari. Kebijakan ini akan dilaksanakan Januari mendatang. Direktur Lalu Lintas Polda Metro Jaya Kombes Pol Condro Kirono mengatakan,sosialisasi terkait hal tersebut dinyatakan sudah cukup.Artinya,mulai Januari mendatang kebijakan tersebut sudah bisa dilaksanakan. “Kita sudah bisa kenakan sanksi bila ada motor yang tidak menyalakan lampu,” kata Kombes Condro dalam acara sosialisasi UU No 22/2009 tentang Lalu lintas dan Angkutan Jalan di Balai Kota kemarin. Aturan menyalakan lampu pada siang hari tertuang dalam Pasal 107 ayat (2).Bunyinya, pengendara sepeda motor wajib menyalakan lampu utama pada siang hari. Untuk ketentuan pidananya tertuang dalam Pasal 293 ayat (2), yaitu setiap orang yang mengemudikan sepeda motor di jalan tanpa menyalakan lampu utama pada siang hari dipidana dengan kurungan paling lama 15 hari atau denda paling banyak Rp100.000. Sebelumnya penerapan menyalakan lampu di siang hari bagi pengendara sepeda motor sudah mulai disosialisasikan sejak setahun belakangan ini. Sehingga sosialisasi dinilai sudah cukup sehingga pemberlakukan sanksi bisa dilakukan 2010 mendatang.

klo mu lebih lengkap aku kasi linknya : http://news.okezone.com/read/2009/11/18/338/276651/tak-nyalakan-lampu-didenda-rp100-000

beugh.. siap2 aja nyediain dana tambahan buat ganti aki, akibat lampu nyala truz,hehehehe… mudah2an efektif lah aturan baru ini. n para tukang nyelip sana sini BIKERS bisa patuh ama peraturan.