A basketball signing day dump for your reading pleasure:

— The awesome disguise the Aztecs made freshly-minted 5-star recruit Winston Shepard wear to fool Bill Self apparently paid off. Good thing, too. Sources indicate the Kansas coach was recently spotted driving near the Findlay Prep campus in this van:

— Temple may get dropped into the western division of the Big East. This is likely being done for two reasons:

1. Because Temple has been kicked out of the Big East before and if the Owls don’t do what they’re told, they’re going straight back to military school, mister!
2. Because the Big East wants to appease Louisville’s whiny, east coast biased ass. This makes sense because if Louisville isn’t appeased, they’ll jump at the first offer made by the Big XII. On the other hand, if Louisville is appeased, they’ll jump at the first offer made by the Big XII. Wait, what?

— Some blogger on the Patriots site (obviously Bill Belichick writing under a pseudonym) ranks Ronnie Hillman as the eighth-best running back in the draft. Meanwhile an NFL Films blog is giving mad love to Ryan Lindley and Miles Burris.

— Five long months until football starts, eh? Kill time by watching Az Hakim and the 1996 Aztecs drop a deuce on Oklahoma. Because, face it, it beats watching the Padres.

Lugie the Aztec Lynx returns for his morning dump (now with more muskrat fur!):

— I didn’t watch last night’s National Championship game because there was a really interesting episode of History Detectives on PBS that I had only seen twice before. But I hear it was glorious. Justice prevailed as Aztec enemies Bill “Hernan Cortes” Self and Kevin “Quetzalcoatl” Young were vanquished at last. Nourish yourself with their tears here.

— Kentucky wasn’t the only big winner last night.

Congratulations to loyal reader Alex R. for winning the AKH Tournament Challenge. He barely edged out Jamie K., Jhonka and Krishnan C., who also had Kentucky winning it all. I finished 13th, besting only Letsdosomewaving and my wife, who I believe made her picks based on geographic preferences. Nice work, Alex. Feel free to send your mailing address to aztecskillinghim@gmail.com so I can steal your identity mail you your prize.

— The Aztecs hoops team will renew its storied rivalry (???) with UCLA by facing the Bruins this December in the Wooden Classic. I’d like to say I’m confident that the Aztecs will win, but I’m a realist. I mean who do we think we are, Loyola Marymount? If you’re looking to read up on what Ben Howland’s Bruins have been up to lately, this is a pretty good place to start.

— Brady Hoke’s punter got robbed of the title of Greatest Animated Sports GIF of all time. Total travesty.

1. He is a 6-foot-11, 300-pound college basketball center.
2. He averaged 3.8 points and 2.7 rebounds as a role player for the 2010-11 Aztecs.

Sufficed to say, Carlwell is a bit of an enigma: He combines the body of dominant college post player with the grace and dexterity of a newborn Labrador retriever puppy. As a result, Carlwell is basically either a poor man’s Mike Mackell or a upper-middle-class man’s Mohamed Camara. He’s a good piece of the puzzle, no doubt, but more like one of those small, nondescript pieces of the farmhouse wall behind the calico kitten and the basket of daffodils.

Obviously, his minutes were limited by the presence of senior stars Malcolm Thomas and Billy White last year, but that only explains so much. For me, he’s just never really passed the eye test — at no point has Carlwell ever seemed like potential starter.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s really fun to pull for and he’ll go down as a good Aztec. He has overcome a lot just to make it back onto the floor and seems like a cool dude. But on the court, he’s just … adequate.

Which leads me to my next incongruous fact: I intently check the paper every freaking morning to see if there’s any news about Carlwell’s eligibility waiver for a sixth year (the NCAA is apparently waiting for the lab results on a stool sample or something before it can rule). See, there’s this sick feeling in my gut that the entire upcoming season hinges on the eligibility of a player I’ve spent the past five paragraphs reluctantly downgrading. If only I had a reason for feeling this way …

• F, Tim Shelton, 6-7, 245
• F, DeShawn Stephens, 6-8, 215
• F, Alec Williams, 6-6, 245

Oh. That.

Assuming Steve Fisher doesn’t go small and play zone all season (or if an eligible Dwayne Polee or an SEC transfer doesn’t magically fall from the sky), that’s your probable rotation for the 4 and 5 spots this year. Read that list again, and try to belt out an “I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN!” It’s tough, right?

This is no knock on our current players, it’s just a fact that SDSU would be pinning its fortunes to some serious question marks in the frontcourt. Shelton is a good leader with a big, strong body — unless you count his legs, which are made of glass from recycled Jarritos bottles. Stephens is an intriguing JC player, but hardly a sure thing. And Williams is … who the hell really knows? I’m not sure Fisher knows. All I have to work with is the fact that he made it into 11 fewer games last season than Mehdi Cheriet.

Add Carlwell to the mix? It’s a four-man rotation I can live with.

Then there’s this: If Carlwell is denied by the NCAA and all other pie-in-the-sky contingencies fail, Fisher is going to have to scramble to sign an unrecruited JC big man who can play immediately, thus burning a scholarship for his 2012 class. It’s a bowl of shit he’s going to have to eat, seeing as his team will otherwise be a sprained ankle or two away from suiting up random students from the kinesiology department (Did I mention Bill Self is a douchebag?).

So here we are. Waiting with baited breath. Knowing Brian Carlwell, in all his adequacy, may honestly be the difference between the Aztecs being a 16-win CBI hopeful and a 23-win NCAA bubble team. The difference between signing a potential star in the 2012 class, and burning a scholly on some stiff.

I’ve got to admit, plain old adequate is sounding pretty fucking spectacular right about now.