At least twice in the last month i’ve read comments suggesting that there is something deeply insulting about anybody describing themself as attracted to trans men. The implication, i suppose, is that the person is suggesting that trans men are different from men in general – and so aren’t ‘real’ men.

Some trans men get particularly exercised when a woman insists that she is a ‘lesbian’, yet describes herself as attracted to “women and trans men”. I agree this is problematic but the problem belongs to the lesbian in question: how does she reconcile an identity suggesting an attraction exclusively to females with a stated attraction to males? It shouldn’t become ours. In most such cases the woman is bisexual but simply doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact; she’s got a lot invested in her identity as gay, queer, whatever and can’t afford to see it compromised by any suggestion of heterosexuality.

That’s my analysis anyway. I would be very reluctant to enter into a relationship with anyone who ID’d this way, but having issues around your sexuality is hardly a hanging offence.

If anything, we might have a bit of empathy: even in the first decade of the 21^st Century it’s still no picnic to identify as gay. People struggle to feel fully accepted. Can you really blame them then for not wanting to jeopardise their membership of a community where they do feel they belong?

This brings me on to another group of people who may also come to identify as ‘attracted to trans men’. Consider the case of a person – for simplicity’s sake we’ll say a woman* – who has been in a long term relationship with a trans man. During that time she has taken an active role in the community – because, make no mistake, the FTM community does not consist of trans men alone but also their SOFFAS (horrible acronym!): friends, family and especially… partners. That community is her community too. She understands the humour, she speaks the language.

Should that relationship break up is it really so surprising that this woman might seek another relationship with a trans man or even come to think of trans men as the people she’s attracted to? Can she be blamed for wanting to ‘marry within her community’? Of course, this does assume her experience of FTM culture was a positive one, which is not something that can be taken for granted in this current climate of buddy-bashing.

And, at the end of the day, if someone does perceive trans men as different from other men, what of it? As long as the difference is a within-group one (trans men are perceived as a subgroup of men with particular qualities), rather than a between-groups distinction (trans men are perceived to be a group in addition to men), then what is the big deal?

* Bio or trans, it makes no difference; because the male and female transsexual communities are different entities in my experience.

This is what the idiots of America elected.  A Chicago thug community organizer, along with all of his thug friends and communist ideology.

Simply put, what is described in this article is fascism and blackmail.  Contrary to the peace and harmony promised by Chairman Maobama before he was elected, contrary to the promise of engaging those who disagree with him in honest discourse, what we see is who Barack Hussein Obama really is.  A thug, communist/socialist street hustler from Chicago (after arriving from parts unknown) who will employ any tactic to silence anyone who disagrees with him.  He threatens, smears, bribes, and Lord only knows what else he has done to silence opposition to his dictatorial ways.

Obama has demonstrated by his votes, words, and deeds that he supports everything that destroys the moral fabric of America, to include gay marriage and abortion, and those who perform and cause its proliferation, such as Planned Parenthood.  Obama’s support of organizations such as Planned Parenthood is puzzling, since their original goals were to eradicate people like him (mentally retarded, black, Jew, etc.).

Former Obama Organizer Threatens to ‘Out’ Catholic Priests to ‘Encourage’ Them to Repudiate Church’s Moral Stand on Homosexuality

Tuesday, November 24, 2009
By Matt Cover, Staff Writer

(CNSNews.com) – A longtime Washington, D.C., liberal Internet activist has founded a Web site that he says will collect accounts of homosexuals in the Catholic priesthood–accounts he will use to “encourage” them to change their views on homosexual marriage and other issues.

“Outing” the priests–publicly revealing their homosexuality–is “not off the table,” Phil Attey, founder of the Web site ChurchOuting.com, told CNSNews.com. The site will also collect information on straight priests who have broken their vow of celibacy, using the information to “encourage” those priests to go against their Church’s teachings on homosexuality as well.

“This is a campaign to collect information about closeted gay Catholic priests, as well as heterosexual Catholic priests who secretly engage in romantic or sexual affairs, yet are unwilling to speak out against the church leadership’s anti-gay political campaigns,” the Web site says.

Attey, a former Obama campaign organizer and Internet organizing pioneer, said the goal of his site was not to “out” the priests, but to end what he called the “spiritual abuse” inflicted by Catholic priests who teach against homosexual marriage and the homosexual lifestyle.

“The goal of this site is not to out priests,” Attey said. “It’s to end the cycle of spiritual abuse that has gone on for generations within the Catholic Church, demonizing what it is to be gay. Closeted gay priests spiritually abusing young gay kids and giving them the alternative of going into the clergy and into the priesthood.”

Priests who refuse to come out after being confronted may be publicly exposed, according to Attey.

“We’re not taking that option off the table,” he said.

Bill Donahue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, strongly condemned the plan.

“There’s a word for this–it’s ‘fascism.’ They’re just out to publicly destroy people,” Donahue told CNSNews.com.

“Are they going to start harassing, intimidating, stalking priests?” Donahue asked. “This is a religious cleansing; this is a witch hunt. This is simply beyond the pale.”

Focusing on Washington Archdiocese

Attey’s campaign is focused on the Washington, D.C., archdiocese, where Archbishop Donald W. Wuerl, who has spoken out against the D.C. City Council’s move to recognize gay marriage.

“For the archdiocese and Catholic Charities, two core tenets of our faith are at the heart of our concerns: our understanding of the nature of marriage and our commitment to expressing Christ’s love through service to others,” Wuerl wrote in a Nov. 17 Washington Post op-ed.

“Under the legislative language before the D.C. Council, the archdiocese would be forced to choose between these two principles. The archdiocese has long made clear that all people have equal dignity, regardless of sexual orientation. But marriage is reserved for husband and wife because of its essential connection with the creation of children.”

Wuerl noted that if the D.C. City Council moves to redefine marriage to include homosexuals his church may not be able to continue partnering with the city on other charitable projects, such as feeding the homeless.

“(T)he District requires Catholic Charities to certify its compliance with city laws when applying for contracts and grants. This includes contracts for homeless services, mental health services, foster care and more. Since Catholic Charities cannot comply with city mandates to recognize and promote same-sex marriages, the city would withhold contracts and licenses,” Wuerl explained.

According to Attey, homosexual and non-celibate heterosexual priests who support these and other positions of the Washington archdiocese are “hypocrites,” whom his Web site would work to bring out of the “closet.”

“The dream of this site is to collect enough stories about enough priests so that we can go to them and say ‘Listen, this Web site has collected enough stories about enough of you in the archdiocese to where the archbishop can’t seek retribution against you or retaliate against you if you all come out at once. And if you do that there aren’t going to be any stories floated about you (to media outlets.)’ ”

After that, where a homosexual or non-celibate priest stands on gay issues is up to him, Attey explained, saying he doesn’t care so long as “everyone knows the priest is gay.”

“Where they stand on LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) issues after that is totally fine with me. If they want to be an openly-gay priest standing up as an openly-gay person standing up in front of their parish supporting whatever ideology the Catholic Church wants them to support, that’s fine.”

Attey said he will use “rigorous scrutiny” in investigating any tip he receives about a potentially gay priest, pointing out that people who wish to leave tips on his web site cannot remain anonymous and must be able to provide the names of other witnesses that can corroborate the stories.

“No report is allowed to be anonymous, they have to give us their names (and) their e-mail address at least. We send them an e-mail, if it all seems credible, and we ask them if we can speak with them about it. At which point I ask them to write it out in the form of a narrative and sign it.

“I’m specifically looking for situational or logistical information around their story: where it took place, any other individuals involved, dates, and times, so that we can start looking into (it.) After we’ve verified it through two or three different sources then I think it’s fair to say that it’s a credible story.

“No name would ever be released unless it goes through that rigorous scrutiny,” he said.

Attey said that he will use the accounts to “encourage” gay and non-celibate priests to come out publicly and turn against the Church’s teachings on homosexuality.

“We’re going to encourage them to change,” Attey explained. “This is a much bigger issue within the Catholic Church–rectifying the hypocrisy of their stands on LGBT people, not just civil equality.”

Priests who might face public exposure, he said, would be either high profile priests or more junior clergy who were outspoken proponents of the Church’s teachings on gay issues.

Attey said that high profile priests would receive a visit first, to let them know that they were going to be exposed whether they cooperated or not.

“We’d go to him first and we’d explain to him that we’re about to do this and then we’d probably do it whether he was willing to come out on his own or not.”

Priests who strongly support the Church’s teaching may also be exposed, depending on how outspoken they are.

“It also depends upon how heavy handed the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops is and a particular bishop or archbishop is on making them follow through on the agenda of the USCCB.

“If that priest is allowing his Church to disseminate the pastoral letter condemning homosexuality again and or using their collection plate to fund anti-gay initiatives well that’s another marker–I’m not taking it off (the table.) We’re going to analyze what’s going on within that parish and the behavior of that particular priest to decide whether or not at the end if they’re not willing to come out on their own we’re going to need to intervene.”

Donahue thinks the tactic is so heinous that even some homosexual leaders probably oppose it.

“It’s borderline blackmail, at the very least, if not rank blackmail as one could maintain,” Donahue said. “Even if one disagrees with the archbishop in Washington in terms of what he’s doing, these kinds of tactics are obviously so incredibly monstrous and odious that it would seem to beg a response from gay leaders.”

Ah, Betty Bowers. Whatever would we do without your scathing commentary on the crazy christian conundrum?

Laugh less, I suppose. In this rather amusing segment America’s Best Christian takes on the role Mormon’s played in passing Proposition 8 last year.

My favorite line: “Being lectured about what constitutes a traditional marriage by a Mormon is a bit like being scolded for loitering — by a crack whore.”

Watch the whole thing after the jump.

GFest – gayWise LGBT Arts Festival 09 came to a celebratory close on 22 Nov. And GFest 10 preparations carried on full steam from yesterday.  There was a lot to celebrate & enjoy in GFest 09 and the general feedback was very encouraging. For the audiences of  GFest 09, London’s LGBT  (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenger) and queer arts fest for all,  artists flying into London from USA to Neatherlands, sold-out nights and standing ovation were some of the special moments. Majority of LGBT & queer artists sent a feedback saying how much they enjoyed and they are looking forward to the next year’s activities.

Key learning points will be fed back into festival activities and its organisation and we are happy to get such a positive response. Particularly, broader coverage of the festival by travel & tourism sector is one such remarkable development this year. British Airways, Eurostar, Best Western Hotels, Red Carnation Hotels, Visit London, Visit Britain coverage for GFest 09 was a great help and encoraged tourists to attend the festival. Several Blogs and online networks & social media news covered the festival news throughout its duration. Apart from London based LGBT and mainstream media sources, GFest 09 news was covered in Norway, Spain, Italy, Japan and several international online event review websites.

Niranjan Kamatkar, artistic director of GFest commented, “For me, a standing ovation after the much awaited Mavin Khoo performance on Friday was the star moment of this year’s festival. I think all the GFest 09 artists worked very hard & contributed to the festival with their best artistic abilities to send a common message – Stamp Out Homophobia. A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL – GFest 09 artists, funders, media, community partners, supporters, audiences and several thousands LGBT community members who helped us and made GFest 09 possible in these particularly challenging economic times.”

Watch this space & GFest online networks for further news and developments of GFest 10 in November 2010.

WISE THOUGHTS  – Arts charity that organises GFest – gayWise LGBT Arts Festival ( known as GFest in short)  in London.

http://www.wisethoughts.org
http://www.gaywisefestival.org
http://www.facebook.com/niranjan.kamatkar

http://www.gaywisefestival.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/gfest

http://www.myspace.com/gaywisefestival

http://gaywisefestival.wordpress.com/
http://www.yoursemotionally.com/
http://www.myspace.com/interviewwithapolitician
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gfest/
http://www.youtube.com/user/wisethoughts

XD es que no puedo dejar de recordar las declaraciones de la sexy Megan, alegando que TODAS las mujeres piensan que es una zorra solo porque es bonita y por el cuerpo de tentacion que tiene, pues para que vean que ella es una actriz seria y dama de sociedad, salieron a la luz las fotos que realizo para el New York Times Magazine, abriendo las piernas como es su costumbre y dejando ver un poco de su vajay yay!! claro Megan, despues de esto NADIE creera que eres una puta… bitch please!

click en las pics para agrandar

]]> http://queerstockton.com/2009/11/23/joseph-and-the-amazing-technicolor-dreamcoat/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:07:51 +0000 David Bishop http://queerstockton.com/2009/11/23/joseph-and-the-amazing-technicolor-dreamcoat/

Stockton Civic Theatre Presents a musical written by the team of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice

Beginning Wednesday, November 18, and running through Sunday, December 13, Stockton Civic Theatre will present JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT, an international stage phenomenon with music by Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyrics by Tim Rice. As the theater’s holiday offering, the show will feature popular actor and choreographer James Reed’s debut as a Director. Musical Direction will be by Jim Coleman.

Originally produced in 1968 as a 20 minute oratorio performed by children at a private school in London, an expanded version of JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT followed as a record album and was subsequently performed as a full-scale production in London in 1973. Joseph was first performed in the United States in 1976 at the Brooklyn Academy of Music.

The Biblical saga of Joseph and his coat of many colors comes to vibrant life in this delightful musical parable. Joseph, his father’s favorite son, is a boy blessed with prophetic dreams. When he is sold into slavery by his jealous brothers and taken to Egypt, Joseph endures a series of adventures in which his spirit and humanity are continually challenged. Eventually his brothers, having suffered greatly, unknowingly find themselves groveling at the feet of the brother they betrayed but no longer recognize. Set to a cornucopia of musical styles, this Old Testament tale emerges as both timely and timeless.

JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT will feature a special $15 per seat preview on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 7:30 p.m. A reception for opening night patrons will be held at the theatre on Friday, November 20, at 7:00 p.m., with hors d’oeuvres hosted by Kinder’s Meats, Deli & BBQ. Performances continue through December 13 on Thursdays at 7:30 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays at 8:00 p.m. and Sundays at 2:30 p.m. Tickets are $25 for adults, $21 for seniors, and $15 for students and children 12 and under. JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT is truly a wonderful holiday family show, rated “G” for all audiences and all ages.

November 18th – December 13th, Stockton Civic Theatre, 2312 Rosemarie Ln., Tickets available on www.estockton.com , 209.473-2400.

From the Caravan

Before his AMA Music Award Performance last night, Adam Lambert said that he wanted to break down the double standard that exists, where male musicians rarely perform in the sexually provocative manner that has become so commonplace for female performers. Lambert didn’t hold back. His act consisted of both male and female dancers, all portrayed in a provacative manner. Lambert led a male dancer around on a leash, put another dancer’s head near his crotch, and ended his performance by kissing a man. Lambert was applauded by some as courageous and left others disgusted.

Although highly provacative, Lambert’s performance, was not unlike the performances I’ve seen of popular female singers, and his kiss was a lot like the Madonna-Brittany Spears kiss.
It’s almost like music awards shows have turned into a contest to see who can be the most sexually outrageous, which isn’t good, considering how many young people admire those who take part. I don’t support the extent of raunchiness on television, but I find the inequality in the way men and women are typically portrayed as even more disturbing. This raises an interesting issue, in today’s world, are men still judged significantly more harshly than women for displays of sexually provocative and homosexual or bisexual behavior, and if so, why?

From my experience, there is an obvious answer to this question. Not to say women go without judgment, but there’s no doubt that men are judged more harshly for dressing in a sexually provocative manner and for homosexual or bisexual behavior. The more interesting and telling questions are why the double standard, what’s its effect, and is it changing?

I find the gay-straight continuum theory the most compelling theory to explain human sexual preference. Based on the continuum theory, only a small percentage of people are 100% gay or 100% straight, that is if we lived in a world without expectation or judgment regarding one’s sexuality, most of us, even we who identify ourselves as completely heterosexual, would have to admit to some homosexual tendancies, not matter how slight. Although many heterosexual people are capable of being sexually aroused by the same sex, people often repress homosexual urges and deny their existence to others, because hetereosexual behavior has traditionally been considered more socially and morally acceptable.

Based on this theory, it makes perfect sense that more women are admitedly bisexual. Why? A lot of men think it’s hot, so even if women aren’t otherwise any more inclined towards bisexuality then men, women are much more likely to act on and admit to homosexual attractions. I’ve witnessed plently of primarily heterosexual women admit to or act on bisexual tendancies, to get attention from men; women who wouldn’t have done so, but for the eager male audience. If women start viewing male homoerotic behavior as a turn on, I have little doubt that, with time, at least as many men as women would admit to same sex attraction.

Another major factor is that the vast majority of the sexualized images women see throughout their lives are of women. That being the case, even women can’t help but take part in objectifing other women. Again, with time, I believe that with increased exposure to sexualized images of men, men will be objectified to the same extent. Considering the popularity of Twilight, The New Moon, and Adam Lambert, we’re heading in that direction.

Just as many heterosexuals have some ability to or tendency towards homosexual attraction, even if never admitted to or acted upon, homosexuals may also have some level of attraction to or ability to become sexual aroused by the opposite sex. The reason it’s less common for men to be openly bisexual than women is due to the social stigma attached, men are more likely to repress sexual attraction toward the same sex, unless that attraction is extremely strong, meaning the guy is way over on the gay side of the gay-straight continuum.

Why does the leisbian/gay man double standard exist? Throughout history, those identifying themselves as straight men have held most of the social and political power, and a lot of straight men are not comfortable revealing they have any gay inclination. It’s not seen as macho. Revealing such an inclination would make them feel vulnerable. Because most men are primarily heterosexual, they would rather look at and be with women then men anyway, so acting on a same sex attraction hasn’t been worth the social stigma it carries. Women, who have had less power traditionally, have been the sex more likely to conform to what men want. Because of this, women are more likely to go along with the objectification of other women, then to objectify men.

Obviously not all bi women who act on it are doing it to please men, but if men treated bisexual behavior between girls as disgusting, female bisexual tendancies would be much less commonly acted on. A man’s typical sexual fantasy with lesbians, involves the girls putting on a show for the man and wanting to please him. The idea of two men putting on a show for women is less appealing to straight men, not only because of the social stigma attached, but because it takes away the feeling of being macho and in control.

If the gay-straight continiuum theory holds true, once women allow themselves to enjoy the thought of and site of male homoerotica, male bisexual behavior and female bisexual behavior will be seen in a very similar fashion and the additional stigma associated with male homosexuality will fade away.

What do you think? How much of a role will a person like Adam Lambert, who’s desired by gay men and women alike, have in changing this double standard? It would be interesting to hear from individuals who identify themselves as gay, straight, and bi.

Adam Lambert’s performance on last night’s American Music Awards may have been a lot of things, but inappropriate isn’t one of them.

The performance of Lambert’s latest single featured about three seconds of Lambert shoving someone’s face into his crotch, as well as a passionate kiss with a band member. And this was the closing number of the night – viewers could see worse on other shows that typically take that time slot. Much ado about nothing.

No one cared when Lady GaGa wore a flesh-toned body suit – one that made it look like she was wearing a strap-on at that – and broke liquor bottles on stage when she performed. No one said a word about Rihanna’s rings of clothing that left little to the imagination or when she entered the stage bound up BDSM-style. But when a fully clothed gay man mimics a few seconds of fellatio all hell breaks loose. Lambert’s number wasn’t inappropriate, it was right in line with the other outrageous performances of the night.

Lady GaGa at the AMAs. Photo from Google Images (TheSuperficial.com).

Rhianna at the AMAs. Photo from Google Images (TheSuperficial.com).

After all the press about it, I expected to see Lambert on stage with his pants open and a partner gleefully pleasing the pop star for a vast majority of the song, so when I watched the clip for the first time, I completely missed the controversial act entirely.

And trust me if GaGa – or even Britney – had done it, no one would even bat a false eyelash.

But Lambert’s new album drops tomorrow. I’m sure his camp isn’t all that upset about the hype.

Adam Lambert performs “For Your Entertainment at the AMAs

Lady GaGa performs “Bad Romance” and “Speechless” at the AMAs

Rihanna performs at the AMAs

WINNERS LIST at the AMAs 2009

ARTIST OF THE YEAR: Taylor Swift

POP/ROCK

Favorite Male Artist: Michael Jackson
Favorite Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Band, Duo, or Group: The Blackeyed Peas
Favorite Album: Number Ones, Michael Jackson

COUNTRY

Favorite Male Artist: Keith Urban
Favorite Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Band, Duo, or Group: Rascal Flatts
Favorite Album: Fearless, Taylor Swift

SOUL/R&B

Favorite Male Artist: Michael Jackson
Favorite Female Artist: Beyonce
Favorite Band, Duo, or Group: The Black Eyed Peas
Favorite Album: Number Ones, Michael Jackson

RAP/HIP-HOP

Favorite Male Artist: Jay-Z
Favorite Album: Blueprint 3, Jay-Z

ADULT CONTEMPORARY

Favorite Artist: Taylor Swift
LATIN MUSIC

Favorite Artist: Aventura

ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC

Favorite Artist: Green Day

CONTEMPORARY/ INSPIRATIONAL

Favorite Artist: Mary Mary

————————————————————-

PERFORMANCES

Adam Lambert’s Provacative Performance

click to enlarge

Jennifer Lopez Falls during Performance (VIDEO)



Great AMA News Online Links:

Photo credit VTD / Marta Evry

Monday’s Visalia Times Delta carries an article about local LGBT activist Robin McGehee.  A teacher at Visalia’s College of the Sequoias,  Robin is a major player in Central Valley gay rights, as an organizer of Meet in the Middle 4 Equality, and a co-director of the recent National Equality March in Washington D.C.  See the entire article here.

Photo VTD / Marta Evry

Monday’s Visalia Times Delta carries an article about local LGBT activist Robin McGehee.  A teacher at Visalia’s College of the Sequoias,  Robin is a major player in Central Valley gay rights, as an organizer of Meet in the Middle 4 Equality, and a co-director of the recent National Equality March in Washington D.C.  See the entire article here.

Late edit:

The haters are out in full force, be sure to check out the comments at the end of the article.

Today, a candlelight vigil was held for two young men on the Anchorage Park Strip.  No one attending had ever met either of the two boys, but around 20 people felt enough connection to them to stand in the cold for an hour and mourn their loss, and the losses that had come before.

You may not be familiar with the young men I’m talking about, so let me try to tell you a little about them as best I can.

Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado was a 19 year old, Puerto Rican man whose friend Pedro Julio Serrano remembers him as being a “very very dear friend” and “was a person who you only needed one minute to fall in love with.”  Mercado was an active volunteer for many gay causes, and seems to have had a wide group of friends.  Below is a video put together by his friends an family, who want Jorge remembered for the wonderful person he was, and not by what happened to him.  The majority of the text is in Spanish, but you can see from the pictures that he was cared for by many people.

Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado was a 19 year old, Puerto Rican man whose body was found by the side of the road near Cayey, Puerto Rico.  His body was brutalized, his arms were removed from his torso, and he was burned. The man who confessed to committing these acts is Juan Antonio Martinez Matos, a 26 year old man who has served time in prison in the past.  Matos apparently picked Mercado up in a red light district, where Mercado was dressed as a woman.  It is unclear as to when Matos made the decision to kill Mercado; some reports indicate that Mercado pulled a knife on Matos, other reports say that it was only after they started having sex that Matos realized that Mercado was biologically male.  Whatever the case, Matos says that he had a flashback to when he had been raped in prison, and then attacked Mercado.  It seems astonishing to me that a “gay panic” excuse may be used to justify the brutality that was visited on Jorge Mercado’s body after he was killed.

Juan Mercado’s mother, Miriam, released this statement after his death:

“When my son told me he was gay, I told him, ‘Now, I love you more.’ I want to tell the world that hatred is not born with human beings, it is a seed that is planted by adults and is fostered creating a climate of intolerance and violence. We must change our ways and understand that anyone could have been my son. And I want everybody to know that Jorge Steven was a very much loved son.”– Miriam

Jason Mattison Jr. was a 15 year old sophomore at West Baltimore’s Vivian T. Thomas Medical Arts Academy.  His English teacher, Ryan C. Jones, remembers how Jason handled harassment.  “[Jason] had a sharp, witty comeback at the ready, and he walked away smiling.  Even if it hurt him, he gave the other person the impression he was stronger.  He was outspoken and excited about everything he talked about,” Jones said. “Walking into school, he was the first one to share what he did over the weekend. He was very, very popular, and he was everyone’s best friend.”

Jason Mattison Jr. was a 15 year old sophomore whose body was found brutalized, gagged, and stuffed in the upstairs closet of his aunt’s house on November 10.  There was initial confusion as to what had happened, as his aunt discovered a T.V. missing and thought that someone had broken in to steal it.  After seeing blood on the banister leading upstairs, she called the police and reported Jason missing.  He was found gagged with a pillowcase and he had received multiple stab wounds to his head and neck.  The man who has confessed to these acts is Dante Parrish, a 35 year old man who is charged with first-degree murder in the case.  He was a longtime family friend of Jason’s cousin, Laquanna Couplin, but she would not say whether he lived there or visited.  It is also unclear as to whether Jason was living in his aunt’s house, or if he was just visiting when he was attacked.  Dante Parrish has a history of violence, described here:

“Parrish was 24 when he pleaded guilty to shooting and killing a man on Maryland Avenue in March 1999. In 2008, the Innocence Project, a group of attorneys who help people they believe were wrongly convicted, took up his case.

They found that Parrish had pleaded guilty to second-degree murder based on a faulty statement of facts read into the court record – there were two witnesses, not three, and a gun was found weeks after the shooting, not with Parrish when he was arrested.

A judge overturned his conviction, citing ineffective defense counsel, and in January, Parrish entered what is called an Alford plea, which allowed him to deny guilt but concede that the state had enough evidence to convict him. He was freed on time served, effectively cutting a 30-year sentence to 10.

Whether Parrish went from prison to live at the rowhouse on Llewellyn Avenue or frequented it could not be determined. Couplin would not elaborate beyond confirming that the man was a longtime family friend.”

Reports indicate that Jason had a “forced sexual relationship” with Parrish, but I was unable to find conclusive statements as to how long this may have been going on, or if Jason’s family knew about it.  I was also unable to find a statement given as to why Parrish murdered Jason.

I want to tell you about one more person.

Don’t worry, this one has a happy ending.

Christopher Narvaez standing up for equal rights in the Summer of '09

Christopher Narvaez is a 35 year old Alaskan resident who moved here from New York.  John and I met him over the Summer when we were fighting for the Equal Rights Ordinance that passed the Assembly, and was then vetoed by Mayor Sullivan.  Chris is a very genuine person, always happy to talk to new people and make them feel comfortable.   He and his partner share a loving  home and support each other while they both try to balance school and work.  Chris struck me as an amazingly patient person when I watched him try to talk to the people in red shirts out on the Loussac Library lawn.  He took the time to talk to them, to listen to what they had to say,

Christopher Narvaez reading statement from the victims' families

and then express why he was there.  Chris was fired from his job because he was gay, and because he wouldn’t quietly put up with the harassment that his co-workers found acceptable.  He has always struck me as the type of person who could find the positive side to any situation, and that is how he became involved with a vigil for two people that he had never met before.

Inspired by these two recent hate crimes, vigils have sprung up across the country to mark the tragedy that those in the GLBT community and their allies have experienced.  We may not have ever met these young men, but we know others who have been abused and mistreated.  We sympathize with the loss of their family and friends.  We wanted to mourn with them.

Trying to keep the flame going.

Chris organized the Candlelight Vigil for Hate Crime Victims, which took place this afternoon at 3pm.  He got a permit for the space on the park strip and sent out invitations through Facebook within the space of two days.  He organized the vigil, reading statements about Jason and Jorge from their friends.  He brought candles for people to hold, and walked around the crowd, re-lighting the wicks almost as soon as the wind blew them out.  Anchorage, and Alaska, is lucky to have such a dedicated person like Chris.  I know that John and I are proud to know him, and to have been a part of this gathering.

Candlelight Vigil for Hate Crime Victims

The last thought that I will leave you with is that while many of you are already aware that these actions could easily happen here in our community, some of you, especially those who don’t identify as a part of the GLBT community, may not understand the implications.  Both of these young men were loved and accepted by their friends and family.  They had support from those around them.  They were still victimized.  GLBT people will not be safe until they can have the full protection of the law.  Those of use who are allies must help them.  We must continue to be involved in the community, because they still need us.  We need to speak out (and loudly) to support those legislators that support equal rights, so that they are not replaced by more puppets of the Anchorage Baptist Temple and those who share their hate.  The fight for equality continues, even though the ordinance was struck down.

Those people that attended the vigil today can attest to it.  I can attest to it.  The fight will continue until we all can be safe.

Let's all try to keep the flame going.

In the morning, my husband and I slept in peaceful slumber until after the sun was well up, ignoring the loud childrens’ play in the house as best we could.  Finally, I rolled toward him and whispered in his ear, “Guess what I did last night.”  He said, “What?”  and his eyes opened further as his interest was piqued.  “Sheila and I were together,” I snuzzled in his ear.  I continued to tell him details as best I could, in a slightly reticent fashion because part of me was still on high alert that he would be mad.  He made a sort-of moaning sound and I saw the covers move slightly.  I had no idea what he was doing at first.  Then the breath escaped his mouth and I knew he had come upon hearing my news.  That fast.  Wow.  He really was turned on by the idea of my friend and me being together.

However, as the erotic moment waned away, and the morning wore on, he became increasingly upset.  He was hurt that I had done something without telling him, without warning him, without asking his permission.  I understood and felt horrible about my misdeed; the memory of it now reduced to a guilt-inciting torment rather than the sweet thought that it was.  He was unapproachable.  Angry.  Cold.  Acted like a victim.   He had always been the jealous type, so this just made him worse.  Not able to handle discontent in those whom I love, I was miserable and offered up apologies galore, but they all fell on deaf ears.  

The hardest part lasted for days.  We were both forlorn and sad, but I was also secretly going through withdrawals from my friend.  I pretty much had to leave off talking to her or my husband would get mad.  I had to sacrifice my friend to save my hurt marriage.  I was starting to yearn to be with her again.  I not only missed her friendship but I missed that extra nuance of something that now existed between us, that heavy attraction–that energy– was the tension I had been feeling, but not understanding.  Conflicted and confused, I felt like a prisoner.  I had just discovered this treasure trove within myself, that I could like a woman as a lover, yet I could not touch it or it would hurt the most important person in my life, and potentially my beautiful family.

One day soon thereafter, I followed him into the shower and appealed to the shower curtain in the sincerest way I could and with as much honesty my guilty conscience would allow that, like it or not, I think that I am now bisexual.  Isn’t that what it’s called when you want to be with men and women?  I was so sorry to do this to him, to us, but I couldn’t change who I was.  What did he want me to do about it?  I could ignore it, repress it.  I didn’t have to act on it.  But in all honesty, I told him while he bathed, I really liked it, and I wanted more.

He heard me but said it just wasn’t what he wanted in his life or in his marriage, end of story.  I didn’t want to rock the boat, so I said as little as possible about my transgression and the underlying change within me.  It wasn’t long before he was okay with sheila and I talking to each other on the phone again, and we were gradually allowed to see each other again.  By this time I was wanting her so badly I couldn’t stand it.  So, on one of those long car drives together it was inevitable that our hands found each other’s thighs, and the seductive looks passed between our eyes.  I went to her house any chance I got while my husband was at work.  I felt horribly guilty, but I couldn’t help what I was doing.  I was moved about by some unseen devil who was pulling my strings.  Normally a faithful and honest person, I did not recognize this new woman who schemed and planned to get a few minutes alone with her new lover.  

Our clandestine relationship only lasted two weeks.  I knew the end was near when sheila and I had a mishap that would have exposed us if not for a little luck and ingenuity.  But the writing was on the wall; the Universe was saying our time was running out.  Upon meeting up, we drove to the river to park and make out.  Mindful of the ever oppressive Time, we frantically got it on in the front seat of my subaru.  making out was a little more familiar now, but we didn’t have much time.  I pulled sheila’s pants down to her ankles and peeled her panties down to reveal her ever-sopping-wet pussy which I dove into.  Since we left the radio running (duh!) the car battery ran down.  After we hurriedly dressed, I tried to start the car, already feeling way too late, and working up the lies to explain what had taken so long (did I think my husband was a dunce?), and the battery was dead!  Oh Shit.  No one was around to help us.  The worst vision overcame me that I would have to call him to come and jump the car and catch us red-handed in our obvious deception.  But as luck would have it, we were near a hill.  So sheila pushed the car while I popped the clutch, and we were rolling out of our little lying rendezvous.

I can’t remember how he finally found out about us.  I think he just got suspicious of my behavior and knew I was hiding something.  I never have lied or cheated since that two week episode.  I am not proud of having deceived him, but I accept that I did the best I could at the time with the overwhelming changes taking place in me.

My husband was very angry and hurt about my deception.  He and I began marriage counseling because his anger and withdrawal were just more than I, or he, could bear.  It worked well, even though the therapist did not support us in our lifestyle choices, but he and I started seriously dialoguing about polyamory around this time.  He liked sheila and had been thinking about becoming a part of this thing going on with us.  I found the thought of them together taboo and erotic at the same time.  Being the generous person that I am, I encouraged him to become involved.  I knew a menage a trois would be insanely intense with two people whom I cared so much for.  

She was open to the idea, being the sexy girl that she was, and admitted, giggling and guilty, that she found my husband attractive.  So we met up at her house.  ha ha.  It is so funny to remember that first 3some!  I don’t remember details but the feeling surrounding it all was this halting, embarrassed, fast, tense experience that we didn’t get a whole lot out of, except the desire to try again.  Sheila started liking my husband more after that.  

One of the most amazing discoveries I made about myself besides learning that I could love a woman as well as a man, was that i could love more than one person at a time.  Having been a helpless romantic from my preteen years when I voraciously read Harlequin romances and every Zane Grey published, I bought in to the notion that there was one perfect person for everyone, and once you found that person, all would be goodness and light in your life.  Forever.  So, realizing I could not only love a woman, but love two people at the same time [or more?!]–made for a very intense time of exponential growth for me.  And we began to try to live polyamory.

“Everyday I cry for you”

“We have four months until you decide what college you are going to and we decide whether or not we will support you”

“This choice you are making will damage the rest of your life”

“Your relationship with God will be over”

“I can’t live with you in this house knowing you are bisexual and sinful”

“You’ll find someone you are happy with and want to bring her home but we won’t let her in the house. And when you come we’ll have to tell you that you are living in sin”

“and someday you’ll have children and bring them around. And we’re going to have to tell them that their mommies aren’t going to heaven. Their mommies are wrong and sinful.”

“You’ll be rejected by society”

“People won’t hire you”

“Don’t you know we love you?”

NO.

I sure hope so! I am a stranger in a strange land. Having moved to a new state this summer, many things are new, different, displaced, and fresh.

I am feeling the inkling to look for a place to worship that is welcoming. I attended a Lutheran church in OR. for several years. It look me quite a while to barely crack open the door and peak inside. I wanted to be safe. Sometimes there are not an abundance of safe and affirming places for LGBT Christians to express their faith and worship. This church in OR. was unique — I believed — because of the pastor at that time, and the warmth of the congregation.

I have not only moved out of state, but since I left that church the pastor has changed. So much in fact, that he was leading his congregation to have a church wide vote on whether to withdraw from the ELCA because the 2009 Churchwide Assembly of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) voted to open the ministry of the church to gay and lesbian pastors and other professional workers living in committed relationships.

Wow! Really? Yes. Really. There was even a group on facebook for some members of my former church to express their opinions on the issue. There were some encouraging posts, and there were of course the typical posts containing the “proof texts” with standard dismissal of LGBT Christians.

Needless to say, I am slowly reaching out, and one more time may just crack the door open a bit to peek inside to see whether God’s people, in the congregation I am looking into here, are indeed building bridges to LGBT Christians. I have posed this very question on their facebook page. I’ll keep you posted!

glbtq-christians

November 19, 2009 – New York City, NY – The Latino Commission on AIDS, a leader on HIV/AIDS and health related issues across the United States and its territories denounces the horrific murder of gay and trans Puerto Rican teenager, Jorge Steven López Mercado.

“We strongly condemn this brutal crime and urge the federal government to provide Puerto Rican authorities with assistance in this investigation. We cannot stand by and allow any more violence that targets any individual because of their race, ethnicity or sexual orientation or gender identity. The individuals responsible for killing Jorge must be prosecuted to the fullest extent of our new federal hate crimes laws,” stated Guillermo Chacon, President, Latino Commission on AIDS. “We call on the Governor of Puerto Rico, Honorable Luis Fortuño to make a public statement condemning this horrible crime”

“Homophobia and transphobia increases the isolation of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people and represents a real threat to public heath. Homophobia and transphobia should never be tolerated and the Latino Commission on AIDS condemns any and all violence against any sexual minority group,” stated Oscar Lopez, Director of Health Policy at the Latino Commission on AIDS. “This hatred and fear based on sexual orientation does not just affect the mental and physical health of the LGBT community, but also affect the health and well being of all Americans and it needs to be stopped.”

Your help is urgently needed to stem the wave of domestic and international violence against lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender people.

By taking just one or two of the actions listed below, you can take a stand for justice and help to protect the safety and lives of LGBT people.

Action #1
Join the Latino Commission on AIDS and its partners in supporting the Vigil, Memorial Service & Community Mobilization in memory of Jorge Steven López Mercado on Sunday, November 22nd at 5:00 pm at Pier 45 (corner of Christopher St. & West Side Highway) followed by a memorial service at the Church of Saint Luke in the Fields (487 Hudson St., By Christopher St). For more information contact: (212) 675-3288

Action #2
Write or call the Governor of Puerto Rico, Honorable Luis G. Fortuño and encourage him to make a public statement condemning this violence and ensure that local law enforcement fully investigate the possibility that the individual(s) responsible for this crime be charged with committing a hate-crime.
E-Mail: ecruz@fortaleza.gobierno.pr – Phone: (787)721-7000

Action #3
Join our faith based communities and make a commitment to pray for members of the LGBT community around the world who continue to face ongoing threats to their freedom, safety, health and well-being for no other reason than their real or perceived sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Pray for blessing and protection upon their lives, that they may find strength and hope in the midst of adversity, and that governments everywhere will treat their citizens with fairness, justice and compassion.

Action #4
If you are responsible for raising or mentoring children, be sure to lead by example. Telling is good, but showing is better. In order for your child to be comfortable around members of the LGBT community, you have to be comfortable around them as well. It is important that we to accept one another.

Action #5
The sexual and gender identity of Jorge and many LGBTQ teens is complex and should be celebrated and supported. Jorge needed, and other teens in Puerto Rico still need, support and guidance as they grow to adulthood. Please support the healthy development of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning young people.

Action#6
If you are Latino, please be aware that many members of our community struggle with homophobia along with machismo and sexism. We must stop homophobic, transphobic and sexist comments, jokes and behaviors at all times. A joke may seem harmless but it may impact a person’s self esteem and create a community of intolerance, which may lead to violence.

ABOUT THE LATINO COMMISSION ON AIDS
The Latino Commission on AIDS (LCOA) is a nonprofit membership organization founded in 1990 dedicated to fighting the spread of HIV/AIDS in the Latino/Hispanic communities. The Commission is the leading national Latino AIDS organization coordinating National Latino AIDS Awareness Day and other prevention and advocacy programs in more than 40 States and Puerto Rico. The Commission raises funds through its Cielo Latino annual fundraiser. For more information visit: www.latinoaids.org or www.nlaad.org.
UNIDOS PODEMOS / UNITED WE CAN

(Thao With The Get Down Stay Down- Beat)

Me as a Scottish Whore

So, though I dealt with steaming piles of nasty shit from old men, I also got to hit on a lot of girls, and I loved it. But one chick in particular taught me a valuable life lesson: women are manipulative and emotional and out of their Goddamn minds.

There was a girl who was absolutely stunning-  smoking-fucking-hot. She had legs for days and a very sexy, dark European look. Her name was Katia and she came in to see me fairly often. She would come in and the male bartenders would get boners underneath their kilts looking at her, never missing an opportunity to throw about lewd comments about how bad they wanted to bang her.

Katia always sat in my section. She would strut in, sit down at one of my tables, and flirt with me for hours. I really enjoyed when she came in- this girl was confident and fun loving. We were always super fliratious and animated when we talked with each other. But, she had a boyfriend, who she would sometimes bring with her, who would linger awkwardly on the side-lines as me and Katia talked. My instincts told me they were probably interested in a threesome, so I never really pursued her, and kept the relationship at a friendly, interested, but unobtainable level. Katia eventually got my number, I had given it to her not ever expecting her to really call or try to hang out.

A few weeks later, on a Tuesday night, I was getting off of work around midnight when Katia started blowing up my phone. I ignored the first call, but after she sent a text message that said “Please answer me, I need your help!” and another phone call, I picked up- warily.

Me: Hey, Katia! How are you girly.. what’s going on?

Katia:  EVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ah shitttttt… Katia was bawling. I had been hoping that her persistant phone calls and text message for assistance would be to help her solve a lighthearted dispute about some trivial question that she knew I’d have the answer to. But no. She was wailing on the other end of the line, and I had no idea how to react.

Me: Katia, are you okay?

Katia (in hysterics): Noooooooooooooooo…. Eva!  Eva my boyfriend and I are fighting and he’s threatening me and he just kicked me out of the house and I have nothing, no keys, no money, nothing and none of my fucking friends are answering their phones.. (sniff.. sniff.. sniff..) Oh my GODDDDDDD, I don’t know what to do. I can’t be by myself right now, I can’t, I want to go run into traffic. I don’t want to be alive right now.. Oh my GOOODDDDDDDDDDD.

Me (barely knowing this girl, and only knowing her as a fun flirt, not wanting to get involved): Umm.. well.. what do you want me to do Katia?

Katia: I only live a block away from your work, please, please just come and pick me up and sit with me until I can get a hold of SOMEBODY, ANYBODY! Eva, I feel so bad doing this to you, I know we don’t know each other very well I just don’t know what to dooooooo….”

Me: Okay.. okay.. I can come pick you up and we can go hang out for a while.. I have to get up at 5 a.m. and go do a promotion for work though- so I obviously want to help you but I really need you to try and figure out some kind of plan okay hon?”

Katia: (sniff.. sniff..) “Okaaaay. Thank you Eva! This means a lot to me, you are such a nice girl..”

So, she gave me directions to her house and I drove to go get her. When I pulled into her apartment complex, I was stunned. This girl was rolling around on the cement ground of the parking lot, wailing and screaming. I slowly pulled up next to her and got out of my car..

“Evvaaaaa I’m so glad you’re here I can’t stand him, he is evil and he’s in my house and I don’t know what to dooooo…” she cried.

I leaned down and pulled her up from the ground…

“We’ll figure it out Katia.. You need pull yourself together, gorgeous. We’ll figure something out,” I tried consoling her.

I packed her flailing, lithe body into my car and hopped back into the driver’s seat. Even though it was now apparent that Katia was mildly intoxicated, we decided we would go to the bar down the street until she figured out where she was going to stay and what she was going to do and if she could get a hold of anybody.

As I drove, she explained what had happened between her and her boyfriend that night, and I absorbed what I could through the sniffs and sobs. I tried to avoid looking at her face because at this point I just felt embarrassed for her. Her make-up was smeared all over, her cheeks were tear stained, and she had to keep wiping her nose because it was running from crying too hard. The sexy, confident, woman who always looked so collected was crumbling before me. I reached a hand out and rubbed her back as I drove, anxious to sit this girl down, wipe her face off, get a beer, and help her get her shit together.

Too bad it was 1 a.m. on a Tuesday. As I pulled into the parking lot of the nearest bar, the chances of the place being open looked dismal. The lights were off and there were no cars anywhere to be found. I slowed my car in front of the door and was about to ask Katia for any other ideas when she brightened up and declared, “It’s okay, I know the owners! I’m sure we can just go in there anyway!” and proceeded to hop out of the car and go and yank on the door as hard as she could.

The alarm started going off immediately. Looking like a scolded puppy, she ran back towards me..

“Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god..  I’m so sorry! I thought I’d be able to go in! I know the owner!”

I wasn’t aware if she realized that “knowing somebody” to get drinks at a bar was different than being given the divine power of opening the locked doors when the place was closed. Needless to say, I sped out of the parking lot to avoid any questioning by the cops who would be showing up shortly, who would have made the night all the more uncomfortable.

At this point, I was tired. Tired from working a double that day, emotionally exhausted from trying to console the disaster in my passenger seat, and not looking forward to waking up in T-minus 4 hours to go get my pictures taken for advertisements for the Tilted Kilt. We drove around for thirty more minutes as she continued to suck out all of my energy with her crying and blatant inability to regain composure. All I wanted was solace. I wanted to drop this girl off somewhere so I could crawl into my bed at home and burrow into my blankets and not have to worry about what I was going to do with her. I kept holding out hope that she would get in touch with somebody and find a place to stay. But, eventually I decided that if I had to continue to deal with an unstable, emotional Katia, I’d rather be doing it from the comfort of my home. So, I gave in.

“Katia.. I have a spare bedroom at my house. You can crash in it if you’d like, but I really just need to get home. I can give you a ride back to your place at 5 a.m. cuz that’s when I have to be at work.. is that okay?”

She whimpered and nodded. The rest of the twenty minute drive to my house was filled with her crying about her relationship and me silently nodding and inserting the concerned “Mmhmmm’s” when necessary. When we pulled into my apartment complex at 2 a.m., my ears were ringing from her sobbing.  I was so happy to be home as we dragged our sorry asses up the stairs to my place. Then, as soon as I inserted my keys and jiggled my front door open, Katia was in my house and bee-lining towards the kitchen. Once there, she opened my refrigerator and pulled out a can of beer- which she then proceeded to stab a hole in the side of and shotgun. When she finished, she spiked the can onto the ground, and pulled out another. She repeated the process three times as I stood there watching, speechless.

“Oh my GODDDDD I needed that,” she said when beer number four was gone, and shrugged.

I decided not to comment, because all I wanted to do was sleep, so I showed her back to the spare bedroom and went to grab her pair of pajamas. As I walked into the spare room to hand her the clothes, Katia knocked them out of my hands,  grabbed the collar of my shirt, threw me onto the extra bed, crawled on top of me, and started kissing me. The pathetic looking tear stained girl who I had been trying to piece together for the last 3 hours had suddenly transformed into a devious vixen. I was so tired, and confused, and completely clueless as to what this girl needed- I just went with it.

She wanted to be in control, and I let her be. She stopped and told me she had never been with a woman before but had always fantasized about it. I let her keep going. I was so defeated by how crazy this girl was, and so bewildered at how premeditated this entire night had been to get to this point. She kept going for a while, then she suddenly became unsure and awkward, and asked me to take over. I did, and after we finished I was drained of every ounce of energy in my body. I rolled onto my back and looked over at her, and as I did, she sat bolt upright, suddenly, like some kind of timer had just gone off.

She looked at me over her shoulder, now looking very perky and victorious, and said, “Okay! I’ll let myself out.. I’ll get a cab home.”

And she got up and walked out of my room, completely composed, as if nothing had just happened.

I didn’t know what to think and I was too tired to try and make any sense of what I had just been through. I just laid in my bed enjoying the coziness as she left.. and though I felt like I had lead blocks for feet, when I heard the door slam, I ran into the living room and locked the door behind her as fast as I could.