Have you ever had the pleasure of being “friends”, or better yet, “family” to a person who cares solely about themselves?

This person doesn’t call you, unless he/she has something about themselves they want to talk about.  Any conversation about you or concerning your life just seems forced and fake.  Even better, this person most likely wants you to either A: feel sorry for them about something (which you just can’t do based on certain events), or B: pat them on the back about something (also a difficult task based on same events as before).

The dilemma becomes: what to do/think about this.  If it’s a “friend” that’s doing this, the conversation about the one-way-ness of the “friendship” is fairly easy to have, and I would guess that even if it ends up badly, ie: you are no longer “friends”, it won’t have actually been much of  a loss.  However, if the person is “family”, it becomes a bit trickier. 

Where I’m at with this (purely hypothetical, of course) situation, is that I’ve forgiven wrongs, accepted that this person is just plain clueless… and yet sometimes, just every now and then, it just bugs me somethin’ fierce.  Oh, (hypothetically) like today, for instance.  I receive a phone call (the first in quite a while) asking me if I remembered something about when I was a teaching in public schools.  I never had the information being sought, so the conversation quickly turns into a (one-way) discussion about the person’s latest project in their attempt to gain a college degree.  I’m being spoken to like I know what’s going on (which I don’t), and it’s pretty obvious I’m expected to be gushing over the dedication said person has to their project (which I don’t).   

FRUSTRATING!!!  I’m finding there is a huge gap between forgiveness and re-finding respect.

Sabi ko kagabi…baka gagawa ako ng konting confessions ngayon. Pero huwag na lang muna ngayon. Bukas na lang…promise. Medyo tinatamad ako ngayon e. Hehehe. LOL.

Haha, nauubos oras ko lagi sa Facebook. Ehehehe. Sisihin niyo ang Yoville! Nakaka-adik e. LOL.

I chose to see this film for 2 reasons, the first is Rain, he is arguably the most popular male Asian artist and he speaks English in this film! Second, Legendary Pictures, the studio of the best Batman movies, Begins and The Dark Knight.

The film is quite good, I love the gore effects, the music and the fighting scene. Rain’s English is also very good, so is his acting performance (which is better than most characters.) What bugged me really are the American actors (both male and female polices)’s acting performance and the final fighting scene (Rain vs. the Father). The fighting scene could have been a lot lot lot lot better without those shadow moving things!!! Those moves make the scene looks funny, very very funny indeed. The characters’ fighting abilities can be expressed without that super-natural move, I prefer something like the fighting scenes in Troy or Gladiator. This really drops this film to B class.

I grade this film 2.5 out of 5. (Without those funny things, I could be 3/5.)

Can you believe it’s only been a week since New Moon was released? We still have a long way to go for Ecilpse and Remember Me. What will I do to pass the time? Maybe watch New Moon a few more times. Or sit. And wait patiently…ever so patiently…

In the mean time I’ve been catching up on Eclipse again, because truthfully, I forgot some parts of the book. Instead of reading it, I’ve been listening to the audio book in my car to and from work. Sometimes I get really into it and I forget that I’m driving (oops)!

So, what will you do to pass the time until the releases of each movie?

Oh and I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving with lots of food and fun! Today’s black Friday, but why go out and shop when you can stay at home with your Pocket Edward and shop online?

Hay naku, ‘di na talaga ako masyadong nakaka-post dito sa blog. Pasensya na talaga. Sobrang busy lang kasi talaga e. Pero babawi din ako. Huwag kang mag-alala minamahal kong blog…hehe.

Ok, matutulog na ako. Good night na sa inyong lahat! Good night baby…muahhhh!

(Konting confessions siguro tomorrow)

Sometimes…

Through the fog and the fuzz and the blur and confusion,

and,

In the midst of the butterflies and hazy dreams and that I’m reaching out for but can’t quite grasp (I can almost feel it),

the words escape me.

But,

that doesn’t stop the sun from rising.

You know how there are some things you are completely thankful for but you can’t actually admit to since saying so would make you bitchy?  The lovely thing about the internet is you can anonymously admit to them.

So here are some things I’m thankful for but would never admit to in real life.

I’m thankful…..

-That I’m skinny.  Yes, I work out a lot to stay in shape but I’m naturally like a size zero or two depending where I shop.

-That everyone thinks I’m sweet and innocent. I don’t know where that idea comes from but it is better than being called a slut any day.

-That I have zero problem getting a date when I really want one.

-That I always date universally hot guys.  You know the ones I mean?  Everyone thinks they are good looking even if they are not attracted to them.

-For my C cups.  Well according to Victoria’s Secret they are D’s since my rib cage is so skinny.  Either way, I like that they are pretty big verses how skinny I am.

That’s all I can think of right now.

Later lovers.

Hi there!

We decided to start this blog to share our baking adventures!  Both of us would like to learn how to bake new and tasty things, and we would love to share them with you.  Come back soon for our first post(s)!

Passed away last night. My mom and dad are currently in New Mexico, and the rest of us kids don’t live in Indianola, Nebraska. The only person taking care of arrangements is my uncle Joey. Funeral’s scheduled for Monday, which means my parents have to run back to Nebraska on Sunday. Chances are, none of the kids will make the funeral – which sucks, but it’s Monday.

Michi has to work Monday.

I don’t know if I really want to go anyway. I loved my grandfather, but it seems they aren’t going to have even a moderate funeral for him, so it will be short and no viewing.

Many things have been said about a smile. Webster defines it as a change of facial expression to express amusement, pleasure, and approval. It is said to be contagious. For when you smile, the world smiles with you; cry and you cry alone.

Some still say there are smiles that make you happy and there are smiles that make you blue. Whatever there is to be said, I still think it pays to smile. I would still look on the cheerful side of everything; for almost everything has a cheerful side.

Life is very much like a mirror; if you smile upon it, it smiles back to you; but if you frown and look doubtful upon it, you would surely get a similar look in return.

There is a saying that goes:

It’s easy enough to be pleasant when life flows like a song; but the man worthwhile is the one who can smile when everything goes dead wrong.

The top ten things that fascinates me at the moment. Starting backwards…

10. Tropical bugs
Aside from landscapes, nature and other amazing things in Japan, I look most for the tropical bugs there. Spiders are 10 times the size here and a lot of bugs have amazing colors, texture and characters.

9. Science
During my years in school, I could care less about science and math, I always failed the classes and I wondered why I had to do it at all. I rather learn about history, music or sports. Only to realize that everything I love to do is science. Music is science! Editing songs and controlling frequencies and what not is science! Science came and crept up on me again this passed week when I was setting up studio lighting and I was getting some ugly shadow, and my sister said, “so this is why we need science.” We both laughed bitterly, and I regret not paying attention more. But, it’s always thanks to the things we love to do that we find the connection and importance in other things in the world. No matter how hard you try to think we do things alone, we’re not! Everything and everyone is connected.

8. Alicia Keys
I cringe when she goes off key, which is often, and I feel a knot in my throat when she screeches out her throat, but I must admit I have some strange and loving fascination towards this beautiful lady. I think she is just an overall powerful woman and I also do love a woman who can play piano and also add adlibs and actually sound like a rapper. Her songs give me strength at times, she definitely got something in my opinion.

7. Beat Takeshi
You might know him as the Japanese director who makes all them Yakuza flicks, but to me, he is always that comedian who made a name for not only Asakusa but Edo-Tokyo comedians. The more I learn about him the more I am fascinated. Comedy, in my opinion, is the hardest field. The suicide rate is the highest and a comedian’s life depends on the audience’s. I feel that I can make music for myself and be happy, even if I wouldn’t sell a damn song, because the creation itself is my outcome, but I feel that a comedy is not complete without the laugh of the audience. I also feel that these old school Japanese comedians, are not only wise/smart and know how to use and play with words, but they are a one person entertainer. I think a true comedian can dance, act, sing, be made a fool, talk about sports, talk about politics, talk about your mom, and still make you laugh. A comedian can mode you but still make you nod, still make you laugh, that’s a talent, and this man’s got it. He tap dances too, and he’s pretty darn good!

6. Tea
I love tea. There’s a lot to learn about tea, and lot to read about Sado/tea ceremony. It’s hard to find a good teacher out here that can teach the style I am interested in, but hopefully soon I will be sitting with my legs folded and numb, drinking the most bitter green tea, and loving the life out of it. I bounce off the walls when I drink coffee but with tea, I just calm down.

5. Trees
What can I say, nature heals!
Trees are a big part of nature, and the healing. Not only does it cause oxygen, but I always feel a lot of life and spirit in a tree and the characters of each tree by the way it grows and branches out. I believe it symbolizes, not only life, but growth and strength.

4. Animated Musicians: Fats Waller & Cab Calloway
No one can hate these two amazing amazing legends of all times. They are such fun and animated performers with amazing talent. They always make me smile, and lift me up on a bad day. I hope to be like them one of of these days!

3. Clouds
Can stare at them forever.

2. Tap Dance & the Nicholas Brothers
Oh man, I was in awe when I first caught a clip of the Nicholas Brothers doing their thing! Dancing was always fulfilling, and I always felt complete after dancing. Whether it was in my room closed up, or on stage, or in the rehearsal room, dancing was one thing that was all me. Dance isn’t dance if you ain’t having fun! Out of all the dancing though, tap dance was my thing. The Nicholas Brothers reaches dimensions you never thought you can reach with them taps, they’re fascinating!!!!!

1. Elephants.
The most beautiful creatures in the world, and this is when I can really appreciate some science!

I don’t really “celebrate” Thanksgiving because well it’s one of those holidays that ain’t really what it seems right? But of course I am always thankful, and although I should say it more often, I would like to thank everyone who comes by this blog and joins me on my journey. I would especially like to thank all those who take the time to comment and leave me an encouraging note all the time! Thank you for all those in support and thank you to all those who find inspiration in any of my work, and makes your own dreams reality, much love and respect to you, and thanks for inspiring me as well!

I also would like to thank all those who keep me sane, especially my sister, and Megu, and of course lil Indy and the Roc-a-fam (what would I do without you guys????). A special thanks to all my Families, Sal, Quincy, Kamau, Mr. E, the manager in Japan, and of course Suzi. Thanks to Sonali on KPFK who always keeps me and the world informed and aware (donate by logging on to kpfk.org!).

Eternal thanks to my angel Chaps, miss you.

Dear Santa,

Here’s just a few on my wish list, I’ll get back to you when I think of more, thanks for the thought.

Can’t live without a bathtub, the only place I find relaxation, and Japanese ofuro is the best. One of these days… will have my own!

You know me and my obsession with bikes, and men who ride them!

I want a small house with a BIG yard. That’s the ultimate dream! A lake would be nice but no mosquitos!

Grand piano! This will probably take up my whole house.

Can’t live without the Sharpies. And only Sharpies, everything else doesn’t work for me, especially the imitation Sharpies.

One of these days, these will be the only pens I use.

Lensbabieeeeessss! Oh my gotta get me one real soon.

Library! My room is filled with books and no shelves already, but yep one day will have my own library. I wonder if all this stuff will fit in my small little house.

This I need now, and gonna get real soon, maybe after tour, or would I need it before?

Punching gloves!

I find concentration in this thing.

Trampoline!!!! Best thing ever.

Tilt lens are fun. My sister got me hooked on it.

Wanna take landscapes.

Panoramic lens. Can’t even imagine all the places this lil thing will take me.

Got some lights a few weeks ago but need more, there’s so much to do in photography, and lighting is the hardest, yet so much to play with.

The photo explains itself. If not, get back at me in about five years, and you’ll see where I’m going with this.

Yayuh!

Debating on a loft at the moment, but a lot of traveling to do so maybe after.

Let me tell you, it is hard and frustrating to dance routine on a 2ft by 5ft piece of wood I found in by the dumpster. I need space to do my turns without tripping, really. And I can’t do it outside cause the concrete scratches up my taps.

Shoes are fun to put in photography when they’re colorful…

…especially them Chucks.

Of course the elephants. Anything with elephants on them. I love elephants.

Books. In the genre of history, culture, philosophy, poetry, music, art, experiences/travels, etc. Anything that teaches.

Polaroid films.

Records.

Whenever I can, I try to go to garage sales to find chairs, stools and small furniture for props in my photos. The pink table thing I took a photo on my latest photo journal is one I got at the garage sale and I spray painted it pink. My favorite prop at the moment. More treasures to find soon. Waking up Saturday morning couldn’t be more exciting, thanks to pupmix.

Dresses are fun props for models.

Happiness.

Wisdom.

Success.

Experience.

Courage.

To make a difference.

Good health.

Happy Children.

Finding me, learning me, accepting me, sharing me.

These are a few of my goals and plans for the coming new year. I can’t wait to make all my dreams a reality.

Blardy Utar and their blardy efficiency. I waited half an hour for the damn bus. Turns out, the driver had been sitting there reading newspaper. When asked, he had the fucking guts to say “Eh? Ada orang mau pergi meh? I ingat tak ada”.

WTF. YOU ingat tak ada so no need to fucking care about the schedule lah right? How about those people WAITING both at uni and at their homes for the damn bus to show up to bring them to uni or back home? CIBAI. Damn useless Indian fat fuck.

I got the H1N1 this week, and with term papers piled in front of me and finals around the corner, it was pretty much the best possible timing (Italics meant to convery sarcasm).

I also still work for the paper, and had to write something… so this is what came out of a feverish and very spotted mind:

My fellow scholars, this all too dangerous time of year lays many pitfalls for the unwary academic to fall into. Missed paper deadlines, corrupted files, stress, lack of sleep, obtuse professors, unclear assignment details, canceled office hours, and the very worst of them all: the flu.

Yes, H1N1 has preoccupied our minds and health clinics for the last two months but its less pretty and almost forgotten sister is still hanging around, waiting to fill that glass slipper. According to health officials, there are three to four strains of the flu floating in our air stream that are not H1N1 related, and this editor was lucky enough to catch one of them.

Lest you think this is some self-pitying diatribe, please let your eyes be at ease. This little piece of text is nothing of the sort. The following is merely offered as a warning, and a guide, to you.

First, to warn you defenseless student: stress and late nights are the number one way to lower your immune defenses and invite pathogens aplenty into your body. I have spent the last two and a half weeks lying to myself, plying myself with coffee and baked goods to stay awake long into the night and getting up far before my mind or body was ready. It took a toll on the work I produced and now has taken me entirely out for the count.

Not to be around people, I can’t attend class; I sleep nearly fourteen hours a day (I had to nap three times while writing this), thus nullifying any hopes of productive sick days. Sick days are great, but only when you are not so sick you can still function and thus use them to catch up; I am not in that category.

While you can pretend that the term paper, or exam you are losing sleep over is worth it, it only gives you a one way ticket to vom-town. Sexy, amirite? Never one to follow my own advice, I did not heed this common sense and instead spent several successive days awake in the past month, fueled only by stress, coffee, and delicious breakfast bagels.

As great as those bleary eyed days were, I am now confined to bed, and occasionally the couch, watching Animaniac’s and stressing out about the work piling up, work I have absolutely no energy or cognitive ability to complete. Thank god for the flu registry.

Now, let’s say you heed none of my well worded and wisdom laden advice and go straight for your third large fair trade of the afternoon. Here are some things you can get accomplished while feverishly bed-ridden, because you will be soon:

- Stop smoking: You are coughing so hard your lungs are exploding, you have a headache like Mt. Vesuvius, and you are shivering like a Canadian nudist colony in February. Smoking, although it feels really, really good will only make you regret every wrong decision in your life to this point. Use these five days when walking to the bathroom seems like a chore to quit smoking. It’s bad from you, from what I hear, and it makes you smell. The coughing and wheezing that will ensue it not worth it.

- Watch documentaries: Get smart all while lying down. Even if you snooze during the films, there has to be some sort of sensory retention in R.E.M. sleep, maybe? Regardless, you’ll be bound to pick up a factoid or two and possibly get some latent creativity flowing for your I’m-no-longer-sick-kissing-the-sweet-sweet-library-floor days.

- Catch up on letters: or e-mails, FB message, RSS feeds, whatever. With limited ability to stay awake and aware, these short snippets of things to do will keep you from getting bored and make you feel like you are getting something – anything – accomplished.

- Make a giant pot of soup: It’s easy, and your illness ridden body will thank you once the finished product is ready to be consumed. My vegan not-chicken-but-better-than chicken noodle soup is killer easy. Vegetarian bouillon (found at most any grocery store), udon noodles, and cubed (1/2 inch by ½ inch) tofu. For an average size stock pot, four bouillon cubes should suffice, half a brick of tofu and about two average packages of udon noodles. Fill the pot about ¾ full with water and boil that noise all together; then consume. Tastes like the real deal, cruelty free.

Most importantly boys and girls, use these five-or-so days to get better. My theory is, my body got sick to prevent a nervous breakdown, so I am listening. I e-mailed my boss (give that EinC a high five for me when you see him), my professors, and my friends to tell them I am in no condition to do anything, at all. Feverish work tends to produce very little, and anything I tried to produce would be mired in 100 degree mind speak, a la nonsense.

Today’s lesson is: rest when your body demands it. While you can trick it for a very long time with double espressos and breakfast tacos, it will exact revenge leaving you in the fetal position, praying for a fever blackout.

Hay naku, kung bakit kasi ‘di kaagad ako gumawa ng Facebook account e! Kung may Facebook ako noon pa…e sana nakapag-Yoville na din ako noon pa. Hehehe. Ang saya-saya sa Yoville! Grabe! Sobrang nakaka-adik! At madami kang makikilalang mga tao mula sa iba’t ibang dako ng mundo. LOL!

Good night sa inyong lahat!

*Inspired by an eraser...hahaha. Thank you Irish for the eraser! I was able to make
this poem a few days ago while using the eraser I borrowed. LOL!

Erasers are such wonderful things!
Of that there is no doubt.
We write wrong words; a few quick swipes
And big mistakes fade out.

And you will find erasers
Of many different kinds;
Extremely helpful, if you try
To bear these facts in mind:

When you bump someone in a crowd,
And almost knock him down,
A soft “I’m sorry!” may bring smiles,
And rub out that old frown.

Apologies invariably
Obliterate mistakes;
And three small words – “I love you” -
Can erase the worst heartaches.