I love Science. Even as a kid, I was always wondering why things like trees were green or how waves moved, or even why we looked like our parents and family. Questions that seemed so unanswerable at the time, now seem like easy concepts. Finding a love for all things Science in High school(aside from physics, no offence), I could talk about science related topics for ages, yet when it came to this blog assignment, I was stumped. All of a sudden I was lost for words, my mind was blank and for the life of me I could not think of a single topic to write about.

So I took a break, and pulled out some old DVD’s, and found an old favourite, Heroes. This particular episode I was watching, I witnessed a main character cut off her toe and then watched it grow back (her supernatural ability was the ability to heal herself). And then it hit me, something that had always fascinated me since year 10 science - limb regeneration.

Heroes (TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But what exactly is regeneration? According to the New Oxford American Dictionary, regeneration is

“the action or process of regenerating or being regenerated, in particular the formation of new animal or plant tissue.”

In other words, the ability(for some) to restore missing or damaged tissue. I continued on, and did a little more research and found out a few things. One was that humans cannot regenerate limbs, which I think we all know and secondly, that to my surprise, quite a few organisms did in fact have this somewhat miraculous ability.

The planarian (flat worm) was the first organism I came across. A rather simple animal, the planarian has the ability to literally regenerate its whole body if by some chance it is cut in half- and thats each section as well. So for instance, if the planarian was cut in half each half, so the tail end and the head end, would grow a head and a tail respectively. If it was cut into six different pieces, then six planarians would be formed! This concept to some may seem unusual or even impossible, but it comes down to something called stem cells, that give the planarian this ability- in short, planarians are full of them. Little cells called neoblasts are capable of regenerating large portions of the planaria, which allows the planaria to “regrow” as each little piece that may be cut up contains some of these stem cells.

Another organism I came across is the more well known newt or salamander. Now unlike the planarian, the newt is more complex. It contains a heart, liver, brain and various other organs and tissues which makes it a little more like us. While these animals cannot regenearte their whole body, they still have the ability to regenerate their limbs or tail if it so happens to be cut or damaged, such as by a predator- and the amazing thing is, is that there is no limit to how many times the limb can grow back! When a newt loses, say its arm, the wound will first heal, which is what occurs in humans or other mammals. However, instead of the process “finishing” there, cells are streaming out of the surrounding tissue in the arm into the area of the wound and these cells form what is known as a blastula. Basically, a blastula is a group of undifferentiated cells, somewhat like stem cells. This is what begins to form the lost appendage. In this group of cells, they differentiate to become perhaps part of muscle tissue or skin- somehow the cells just “know” what to become and eventually the blastula forms the appendage. (With a few more steps and scientific concepts in between)

So theres a basic little introduction to the world of limb regeneration, however it gets a little more indepth than the above descriptions, I’ll save that for next time!

Dateline, 10/10/2014:

It was just over a year ago that the State of Iowa passed a law defining the abortion of a fertilized human egg (known to eggheads as a “zygote,” an egg that has been fertilized by a sperm) to be the equivalent of the murder of a child, teenager, or adult. Since then, Iowa law enforcement authorities have been made aware by those same egghead biologists and so-called “doctors” that most “abortions” of zygotes, and even morulae, blastulae, gastrulae, and embryos occur naturally, sometimes called a “spontaneous abortion,” a “miscarriage,” or, as Iowans say, as an “act of God.”

As a result, God has been arrested and, according to Iowa Attorney General Dick Rednecropper, will be put on trial for the crimes of “zygoticide, morulacide, blastulacide, gastrulacide, and embryocide.”

Rednecropper, interviewed in the courthouse, said: “Essentially, my hands were tied when we defined zygoticide as murder. It would be easy for a person, whether it be a man or a woman, who got an abortion to say, ‘I was guided by God,’ or ‘If it happened, it must have been God’s will.’ We circumvented that problem by simply saying that zygoticide is murder, no matter what the supposed justification.”

“Would you accept, as an excuse for murdering your wife, that the killer says, ‘She was ugly, and I just couldn’t look at her any longer?’ I don’t think so. We don’t accept God’s excuses, either. I mean, a tree would like to blame the wind when a branch falls onto your car or house, but it’s ultimately the tree’s responsibility to hang onto its limbs, isn’t it?”

Reporter Brent McStallwart asked, “So, is your office currently planning to prosecute trees?”

Rednecropper answered, “Don’t be ridiculous man. I’m just using that as an analogy. We don’t have the resources to spend on incidents like that.”

When asked how many counts of murder God would be charged with, Rednecropper replied, “Well, it’s hard to say right now. These here bile-ogists tell me it could be in the millions… maybe lottsa millions. It seems that, if a woman misses her per… I mean that time of the month where I sleep out in the shed, but then she doesn’t have a baby, there just mighta been a spotaneonous abortion. The egg mighta been fertilized, but didn’t stick where he’s supposed to. Either way, it’s an abortion, and that’s illegal.”

In describing the arrest, police officer Rip Burgundy said, “We had to spend almost half an hour searching for his hands in his long, flowing, white beard in order to put the handcuffs on him. He didn’t really resist, he just kept rolling his eyes. He has huge eyes. Everybody at the scene could easily see his reaction. It was kind of, you know, disrespectful to us as officers of the law.”

Officer Burgundy added, “Usually, in these situations, we use our Tasers, but we knew that there were some liberal noise makers in the crowd that would just love to accuse us of police brutality. So, since he wasn’t black anyway, we decided not to do it.”

God’s arraignment is set for this Friday.

Meanwhile, upon further study of the phenomenon of spontaneous abortion, Iowa law enforcement officials discovered that virtually every woman may have had, at some point in her life, a spontaneously aborted zygote, morula, etc. When asked what this would mean for Iowans, Attorney General Rednecropper said, “We start rounding up the women next week.”

-Tom Rossi

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Tom Rossi is a commentator on politics and social issues. He is a Ph.D. student in International Sustainable Development, concentrating in natural resource and economic policy. Tom greatly enjoys a hearty debate, especially over a hearty pint of Guinness.

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Late metaphase: Within the cell membrane (red) the centrosomes (green) have moved to the poles of the cell and have established the mitotic spindle (green). The chromosomes (blue) have are assembling at the metaphase plate.  We can think of the blue as the memory of the past, the red as the container of the present, and the green as the movement into the future. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the body, this is the form of a neurovascular bundle, the structural correlate of the acupuncture points, where they penetrate superficial layers of electrically insulating fascia.  How does this wonderful structure of life develop?

The DNA may only be a single or double helix, but there is space for a third, a structured water conduit that can increase in conductivity 10,000 fold with the presence of Bose-Einstein Condensates that make up the conscious spirit body.

When cells undergo mitotic division, both during embryological development as well as during repair of tissue damage, the condensate capped microtubules of the cytoskeleton guide the DNA through the replication of the cellular torus…

Conception

In embryological development, conception is accompanied by the greatest bioelectrical discharge in human life, enough to denature the transmembrane proteins of the fertilized egg.  This toroidal energy release establishes the energetic barrier function between self and mother/other, as well as the primary cephalo-caudal (head-tail) axis orientation.  The electrical energy release progresses from the caudal to cephalic poles around the circumference of the spherical egg cell, producing a magnetic vortex and likely a plasma disc halo in the surrounding biofield space, our initial exposure to kundalini rising.  The coherent photon release of this vortex can be identified by the mother as the presence of a new being in her womb.  This discharge establishes the polarity between the interior Yin and exterior Yang linking vessels.  The moment of conception was thought in ancient times to be even more significant in its effect on the persona than that of birth itself, the emergence of the new fractal individual into this womb of Heaven.

The first cell division produces the bilateral symmetry axis around the anterior Conception Vessel and the posterior Governing Vessel, as well as dividing the yin and yang polarities into the Right and Left Yin and Yang Heel Vessels.

The second cell division produces the horizontal Belt Vessel, the only horizontal chi flow in the body, as well as the Thrusting Vessels, completing formation of the eight Extraordinary Vessels of classical Acupuncture.  These eight primordial energy circuits are described by the eight trigrams that in pairs make up the 64 hexagrams of the I Ching.

After the third to fifth generation of cell division, the Morula stage is a sphere of a single layer of cells, and with further mitosis begins to form a hollow center, the Blastula stage, at about day 5.  The Blastula is a bilaterally symmetrical hollow tube that forms an inner cell mass or embryonic disc.  Beginning caudally at the point where conception was initiated, and extending along the Conception and Governing vessels, mesenchymal cells form by releasing their cytoskeleton connections to neighboring epithelial cells and migrate to the hollow interior of the blastula, forming the first histological break in symmetry around the midline, called the primitive streak, a developmental feature common to reptiles as well.  This deeper tissue layer forms the mesoderm (Layer 1: Flow, Layer 2: Support and initiating the invagination to form Layer 3: Process).

The anterior posterior symmetry is broken by formation of an anterior mesodermal cell mass to form the umbilicus and placenta, orienting for nourishment to the mother (linking self to other along this primordial transactional orientation axis).  Implantation occurs around day 6 or 7.

Gastrula

A schematic of embryo gastrulation. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Around day 7 – 10, starting at the point where conception was initiated, the blastula transforms into a tissue-level torus, as the endoderm invaginates at the mouth, the point on the primitive streak where the Conception and Governing Vessels meet, and begins formation of the gut tube as the center of a topological, but elongated torus.  This stage of development is the Gastrula.  At this point, the three basic topological populations of cells exist.  Ectodermal cells on the outer surface will become Layers 4 and 5.  The interior mesodermal cells of the primitive streak will form the deeper tissue Layers 1 – 2.  The endoderm (Layer 3: Processing) is formed by those ectodermal and mesenchymal cells that invaginate to form the inner lining of the gastrula which will develop into the gut tube, digestive organs and lungs. (Layer 3: Process).

Neural Tube 

Neural tube and neural crest formation. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Next, the neural tube and crest tissue differentiates through days 15 to 21 (Layer 4: Communication), forming a second torus by invaginating from the ectoderm.  The neural crest tissue will distribute itself non-locally to form the endocrine and autonomic nervous system as well as the melanocytes.  This portion of the Communication system is associated closely with biophotonic activity and the Chakra system.

The eye spot becomes dark, the most visible organ by around 6 weeks.  The eye transduces light into the greatest electrical dipole in the body, the retina.  Long wavelength visible (ruby or sclarlet) light penetrates maternal tissues and illuminates the foetus in the womb, and vision is functional before birth.  The eye, due to this dipole photocell battery, powers the direct current meridian system of the extracellular fluid space.

Heart

Heart cells begin to beat on around day 22.  The heart is the fourth major toroidal formation (Layer 2: Support), the first tissue to move, and a most powerful and reliable pump, but also the strongest biofield (EMF) signal generator, essential for allowing the pressure pulse wave accounting for 50% of blood flow to an optimally functioning organ. It is the reflection of this pressure wave from stressed and sick organs that is felt in oriental pulse diagnosis.  When a tissue’s metabolism becomes inefficient, or an organ becomes toxic or stressed, lactic acid builds up, tissue swells, and the pulse pressure wave cannot easily enter the tissue.  Electromagnetic fields from 50 and 60 Hz electric power distribution and fields from other technological sources can easily overpower the heart’s signal, blocking the ability of blood vessels to allow the pulse pressure wave through.  This reduction in blood flow can further aggravate the situation leading to hypoxia and greater lactic acid production, a sludge that contains unbroken carbon bonds, builds acidity (protons) and osmotically draws water, leading to bloated cells and tissues.  Think of a tight or cramped muscle.  Function and even comfort are reduced.  Electrically grounding the body and otherwise restoring an abundant flow of electrons, such as negatively charged (alkaline, microcluster) water, are essential in restoring optimum cellular function.

As formation of the embryo progresses, nine Yang channels initiate their flow out of the Governing Vessel:
Bladder
Gall Bladder
Stomach
Small Intestine
Triple Warmer
Large Intestine
Yang Heel
Yang Linking
Belt

And nine Yin channels develop their flow out of the Conception Vessel:
Kidney
Liver
Spleen
Heart
Pericardium
Lung
Yin Heel
Yin Linking
Thrusting

Thus begins the function of the human photo-energetic regulatory system.

The conception of a kick-ass dominatrix/spider-serpent-like/nerdy/hopeless romantic/weapon-free and gadget-full heroine is happening right now…

The alter ego is coming to life with its first lines, from inside what I hope looks like a Jules Verne drawing room…ohh….

A girl can dream…a girl can dream…

I. PENDAHULUAN

II. TEORI PERKEMBANGAN

Perkembangan embrio ayam telah dipelajari sejak sebelum Masehi, dan sampai sekarang masih ada hal-hal yang belum diketahui sebenarnya. Salah satu pertanyaan klasik: “Mana yang lebih dahulu ada: ayam atau telur?” Jawabannya tergantung dari latar belakang si penjawab. Harvey (1650) menjawab: “Ovum esse primordium commune omnibus animalibus” yang intinya berarti “Telur ada lebih dahulu”. Pedagang telur akan menjawab: “Induk ayam ada lebih dahulu karena telur keluar dari induk ayam”. Peternak ayam akan menjawab: “Anak ayam menetas dari telur, jadi telur ada lebih dahulu sebelum kemudian menetas menjadi anak ayam”. Ahli agama Islam menjawab: “Barang yang hidup keluar dari barang yang mati, barang yang mati keluar dari barang yang hidup” (Q.S. Al An’Am 6:95).

inna allaaha faaliqu alhabbi waalnnawaa yukhriju alhayya mina almayyiti wamukhriju almayyiti mina alhayyi dzaalikumu allaahu fa-annaa tu/fakuuna

Sesungguhnya Allah menumbuhkan butir tumbuh-tumbuhan dan biji buah-buahan. Dia mengeluarkan yang hidup dari yang mati dan mengeluarkan yang mati dari yang hidup. (Yang memiliki sifat-sifat) demikian ialah Allah, maka mengapa kamu masih berpaling?

Indeed, Allah is the cleaver of grain and date seeds. He brings the living out of the dead and brings the dead out of the living. That is Allah ; so how are you deluded?
— Surah Al-’An`ām (The Cattle) – سورة الأنعام

Yunus (1978) memberi contoh mengenai jawaban ini pada ayam: “Anak ayam keluar dari barang yang mati kelihatannya (telur), dan telur yang (kelihatan) mati itu keluar dari (induk) ayam yang hidup”. Begitu pula pada hewan-hewan lain yang bertelur dan tumbuhan yang berbiji. Kita yang mengetahui ilmu perkembangan tentu dapat memilih jawaban yang benar menurut kaidah-kaidah Biologi, yang ternyata juga selaras dengan yang tersirat di dalam kitab suci Al Qur’an.

Perkembangan manusia menurut Islam juga telah disebutkan dalam Al Qur’an: “Dia (Allah) telah menciptakan manusia dari segumpal darah” (Q.S. Al ‘Alaq 96:2).

khalaqa al-insaana min ‘alaqin

Dia telah menciptakan manusia dari segumpal darah.

Created man from a clinging substance.
— Surah Al-`Alaq (The Clot) – سورة العلق

Sebagian orang awam membayangkan bahwa wanita yang tidak hamil dan mengeluarkan darah (menstruasi) diartikan bahwa darahnya tidak menggumpal sehingga wanita tersebut belum dapat membentuk individu baru. Di zaman Socrates dan Plato (filosof Yunani, guru dan murid), pemikiran tersebut masih berlaku, seperti ketika mereka melihat seekor rusa sedang kawin: Dibayangkan bahwa cairan dari liang senggama betina dapat menggumpal karena bercampur dengan cairan mani dari rusa jantan, maka terbentuklah anak rusa. Setelah von Baer menemukan spermatozoon dan de Graaf menemukan sel telur, maka pemikiran tersebut tidak berlaku lagi. Secara ilmiah dapat dinyatakan bahwa individu baru terbentuk dari hasil peleburan sel kelamin jantan dan sel kelamin betina.

Kita sadari bahwa manusia dari generasi ke generasi berikutnya terjadi karena fertilisasi dari sel haploid spermatozoon dan sel telur. Dari kedua macam sel tersebut meleburlah menjadi satu membentuk zigot, yang berarti kita berkembang dari sebutir sel. Kita, sekarang — manusia dewasa — terdiri atas lebih kurang 200 jenis sel. Bagaimanakah perkembangan dari sebutir sel (unisel) sampai menjadi multisel (banyak sel) dan multifungsi itu? Dan apakah sel kita yang dulu dan sekarang masih sama, ataukah sudah berganti karena adanya pembelahan (proliferasi) dan regenerasi? Kalau begitu bagaimanakah sebenarnya?

Dalam Embriologi dijelaskan bahwa zigot mengalami segmentasi menjadi 2 sel, 4 sel, 8 sel, 16 sel, 32 sel (morula), dan seterusnya, sampai menjadi tumpukan sel yang disebut blastula. Pada stadium (tingkat) blastula tersebut, bagian manakah yang kelak akan menjadi kepala, badan, anggota badan, dan organ-organ lainnya belum dapat diketahui. Tingkat berikutnya adalah gastrula yang tersusun dari 3 lapis benih, yaitu: ektoderm, mesoderm, dan entoderm. Dari ketiga lapisan itulah badan terbentuk, yang terdiri atas berbagai organ dan sistem organ.

Kini embrio telah terbentuk, dan selanjutnya nantinya akan berkembang menjadi janin (fetus). Pertanyaan berikutnya adalah: Kapankah ruh atau nyawa ditiupkan sehingga embrio dapat dianggap sebagai makhluk hidup?

“Maka apabila Aku (Allah) telah menyempurnakan kejadiannya, dan telah meniupkan ke dalamnya ruh (ciptaan)-Ku, maka tunduklah kamu kepadanya dengan bersujud” (Q.S. Al Hijr 15:29).

fa-idzaa sawwaytuhu wanafakhtu fiihi min ruuhii faqa’uu lahu saajidiina

Maka apabila Aku telah menyempurnakan kejadiannya, dan telah meniup kan kedalamnya ruh (ciptaan)-Ku, maka tunduklah kamu kepadanya dengan bersujud. [Yang dimaksud dengan sujud di sini bukan menyembah, tetapi sebagai penghormatan].

And when I have proportioned him and breathed into him of My (created) soul, then fall down to him in prostration.
— Surat Al-Ĥijr (The Rocky Tract) – سورة الحجر

Pada tingkat gastrula sudah mulai terjadi gerakan dan pertumbuhan. Sel-sel bergerak mengatur diri ke tempat calon organ terbentuk. Kekuatan apakah yang mengatur hal tersebut? Untuk pertama kalinya calon sistem syaraf terbentuk pada tingkat neurula. Pada saat itu calon jantung baru berupa sepasang pembuluh yang belum berdenyut. Kapankah denyut jantung pertama kali ada? Bagaimanakah mekanismenya? Kapankah embrio secara keseluruhan dapat bergerak? Dan bagaimanakah bisa terjadi gerakan yang ritmis?

Embrio terus berkembang, hingga terjadilah koordinasi antara sistem organ yang satu dengan sistem organ yang lainnya, antara organ yang satu dengan organ yang lainnya. Apabila terjadi koordinasi antara sistem syaraf dengan sistem otot, maka mulailah terjadi gerakan. Bagaimanakah perkembangan dapat berlangsung secara sinkron? Kekuatan apakah yang mengaturnya? Bagaimanakah jantung bisa terus berdenyut dengan teratur tanpa berhenti? Dan bagaimanakah pula perkembangan anak ayam bisa sama dengan tetuanya? Untuk mengetahui itu semua ada berbagai teori.

Teori yang pertama dalam perkembangan yaitu karena ada kekuatan supranatural (theologis), begitulah kehendak alam. Teori vitalistik menyebutkan bahwa perkembangan terjadi karena proses yang kompleks antara materi (biokimiawi) dan energi. Teori mekanistik menyebutkan bahwa suatu proses perkembangan ditimbulkan karena adanya sifat dasar yang memberikan fenomena fisik dan kimiawi yang berlaku dalam organisme.

Suatu contoh: jantung dapat mulai berdenyut karena di dalam sel jantung terdapat molekul yang dapat berkontraksi dan relaksasi, yaitu protein aktin dan miosin. Dengan demikian, bila di dalam sel jantung embrio sudah disintesis kedua molekul tersebut, maka jantung embrio mulai berdenyut. Begitu pula mengenai gerakan embrio, bila sel syaraf embrio sudah dapat menghantarkan impuls karena adanya neurotransmitter, maka terjadilah gerakan. Di samping itu, sel otot juga sudah mengandung protein aktin dan miosin. Percobaan dapat dilakukan pada embrio katak yang disentuh dengan ujung jarum. Contoh denyut jantung pertama dapat diamati pada embrio ayam umur 30 jam dalam pengeraman, embrio ikan yang diperoleh pada 20 jam setelah induknya bertelur, atau pada manusia dapat dideteksi pada usia kehamilan minggu ke-3.

Teori terbaru dalam perkembangan embrio menyebutkan bahwa proses perkembangan terjadi dalam ketatateraturan ekspresi gen dalam sekuen waktu yang berturutan dari zigot sampai terbentuk individu baru yang sempurna bentuknya. Apabila ada ketimpangan dalam ketatateraturan ekspresi gen tersebut, maka terjadilah kelainan perkembangan, atau yang disebut sebagai catat (malformasi), yang dapat mengakibatkan embrio mati (lethal) atau mengalami cacat lahir. Kita ketahui adanya fenomena bayi tanpa tangan dan kaki (amelia), bayi kembar siam (conjoined twins), bayi tanpa kepala (anencephaly), bayi dengan viscera (organ dalam) yang terdedah di luar badannya, dan sebagainya.

Perkembangan tidak hanya berlangsung dalam tingkat embrional saja, tetapi perkembangan terus terjadi sepanjang hayat sampai individu mati. Sebagai keterangan teori terbaru tersebut, pada dasarnya ekspresi gen adalah berupa protein baru yang disintesis. Ekspresi gen dimulai dari zigot yang membelah. Dalam segmentasi diperlukan adanya protein tubulin untuk terjadinya mitosis. Oleh karena itu zigot dapat membelah. Pada tingkat gastrula, terjadi diferensiasi lapis benih menjadi ektoderm karena di dalam lapisan sel-sel tersebut disintesis protein keratin sebagai tanda khas ektoderm. Di dalam sel-sel mesoderm disintesis protein laminin sebagai tanda khasnya, dan protein entrin disintesis di dalam lapisan sel-sel entoderm. Demikianlah seterusnya, setiap terjadi proses perkembangan maka terbentuklah protein baru sebagai tanda khas terjadinya perkembangan. Jenis protein di dalam sel membedakan sel tersebut dengan sel-sel yang lainnya (protein spesifik atau khas).

III. Eksperimen Dengan Embrio dan Aplikasinya

IV. Kelainan Perkembangan Embrio Akibat Ketidaksengajaan Manusia (underconstruction)

V. RESUME

Belajar Embriologi mempunyai status yang sama dengan belajar ilmu-ilmu yang lain, baik yang berupa ilmu dasar maupun ilmu terapan. Untuk menimbulkan gairah belajar, perlu pacuan rasa ingin tahu yang besar. Caranya adalah dengan bertanya-tanya dalam hati, berkreasi secara thesis-antithesis.

Untuk menekuni Embriologi diperlukan pengertian dasar, teori-teori perkembangan, dan kajian-kajian sampai ke tingkat molekular. Untuk mengembangkan ilmu tersebut, perlu mengadakan eksperimen, melakukan kajian yang bersifat trial and error. Pada dasarnya semua ilmu dapat diaplikasikan untuk kesejahteraan umat manusia, tentunya apabila melalui prosedur yang benar disertai dengan tanggung jawab.

Perkembangan Embriologi pada saat ini kedudukannya sejajar dengan perkembangan ilmu-ilmu lainnya. Seseorang dapat mengaplikasikan ilmu yang ditekuninya tergantung dari sikap dan kehendaknya yang sekarang sudah terbuka luas, memilih secara aktif dalam bioteknologi. Bagi peminat-peminat Embriologi, mari kita belajar dari dasar untuk selanjutnya mengembangkannya dengan metode dan teknik yang sudah ada atau diciptakan. Itu semua untuk memenuhi kebutuhan diri sendiri dan sebagai sumbangsih kita untuk memajukan dunia ilmu pengetahuan.

VI. DAFTAR ACUAN

Dourin, N.L. and A. McLaren. 1984. Chimera in developmental biology. Academic Press. London. 456 p.

Glover, D.M. and Hames. 1989. Gene and embryos. IRL Press. London. 228 p.

McKinnel, R.C. 1980. Cloning. University of Minnesota Press. Minneapolis. 130 p.

Pomerei, D.D. 1985. From gene to animal. Cambridge University Press. Cambridge. 293 p.

Sadler, T.W. 1990. Medical embryology. Longman. New York. 411 p.

Scott, G.F. 1991. Developmental biology. Sinauer Press. Sunderland, Massachusetts. 891 p.

Yunus, M. 1978. Kesimpulan isi Al Qur’an. Penerbit Hadikarya Agung. Jakarta. 57 p.

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“Embriologi dari Abad sebelum Masehi sampai Abad Bayi Tabung“
Ditulis oleh: Prof. (Em.) Dr. Mammed Sagi, M.S.
Disampaikan dalam acara Seminar Kajian Islam BioRamadhan yang diselenggarakan oleh Badan Eksekutif Mahasiswa Fakultas Biologi Universitas Gadjah Mada Yogyakarta.
Februari 1995

Meskipun sudah cukup tua umur makalah ini, tetapi tema yang diusung tak pernah usang. Saya sangat gembira karena sampai hari ini saya masih menyimpan hardcopy-nya, yang mungkin tinggal satu-satunya di dunia ini Oleh karena itulah saya menuliskannya kembali di sini, untuk kita nikmati bersama, sambil mempelajari ilmunya…  Sekaligus sebagai penghargaan, ucapan terima kasih, dan ungkapan rasa sayang ananda kepada ayahanda

An aside on the “CHECK ENGINE” light idea and its noble creator:

You, sir or madam or protoplastic blastula, are as slitheringly awful as a lukewarm frozen pizza with a wet center.  Your genius leads to naught but suspicion, and in a technological era in which I can readily seek information on oxygen-powered rocketry and donkey vaginas and have them displayed on my iPod in my automobile, you have created such a zero-sum warning system that I am baffled as to why you haven’t been thrown on the trash heap with hypercolor shirts–

I see after some searching that your use began with GM.  Congratulations on matriculating from your course of study.  Being an idiot is never easy, but you have proved that it isn’t hard, either.

I digress.  Back to it.

The “CHECK ENGINE” light is obviously on because there are few cars that would not feel oxygen deprived at 10,000 feet.  The top of the “pass”–which should simply be called, “mountain”, for there is no low-cut area, simply a hair-pinned, steeply graded trail chiseled into and over the top of a behemoth peak–is an amazing combination of tundra and high-alpine nothingness.  I could see for miles around me, and was looking down upon every peak I saw.

My thoughts started plying broad brush strokes.  Playing the part of a father is equal parts teacher and husband.  Playing the part of a man looking at my offspring is quite different.  My offspring is the harbinger of my obsolescence and mortality. It is at the same time my opportunity at creating one more (or one last) intelligent human being before I see nothing anymore.

Driving down the pass and enjoying the company of my wonderful family, I found it hard not to snicker at my car and its vague warning, thinking, “We all have to go sometime; what the hell are you going to do about that?”

Over the past two weeks, I hope I’ve more or less become your source for street knowledge.  Unfortunately, today I must lay aside the pedantic gilding; put to rest the pontificating silver of my pen¹ to tell you simply and honestly about: Baby Mamas.

I, like you, at first assumed a Baby Mama was an in utero post-blastula cellular mass with a second, smaller pre-blastula growth already thriving within the former’s developing womb.  But in fact, a Baby Mama is simply the mother of your child.  You sure as hell ain’t married to her and, indeed, may have several other girls/Baby Mamas/trannies on the side (depending on your particular pallet).  Being the mother of your child, however, you’ve got a special connection with your Baby Mamas; an intimate bond more commonly referred to as “child support².”

Now, the average urbanite has roughly 1.43 Shantels³.  Aside from indicating that you’ve impregnated at least 1.43 women, it also points to a complete disregard for quality of life and empathy for the human condition.  Given this information, it’s easy to assume that more Shantels equals more street credit, but you would be sorely mistaken⁴.  On the other hand, you can’t really file your Baby-Mamaniacal behavior under street debit either.  Basically, having a Baby Mama just makes you a complete idiot.  And because you’re going to ask why:

1.      Lack of matrimonial tax benefits.

2.      Instead of a dual income household, you’re probably paying to put your Baby Mama up in her own pad⁵.

3.      Development of an emotional attachment to the small human grown by your Baby Mama (just add water!) may result in a massive loss of street credit for cherishing life⁶.

Now we come to it.  The most important section of all and the reason I felt compelled to elucidate the implications of this modern-day plague: how do you avoid having a Baby Mama.  “Using a magic spell?” you ask.  “A CERN-developed Baby Mama cyclotron?  A can of baked beans?”  Of course none of those would ever work⁷.  There is only one true way to prevent Baby Mamas from taking over your life (and perhaps the world), which is…hold on, I have to put on my priestly vestments…okay, we’re good.  As I was saying, the only way to assure that you don’t have a Baby Mama is abstinence. 

Okay, before you slit your wrists and call it a day, note that there are other unproven⁸ methods of minimizing your chances of spontaneous Baby Mama generation⁹:

1.      Magic spells.

2.      A CERN-developed Baby Mama cyclotron.

3.      A can of baked beans.

¹ Not true.  This article will still be written like I was wearing a velvet smoking jacket embroidered with my coat of arms in a cured leather chair waiting for my Yorkshire terrier named Constance to bring me my slippers, which are incidentally made from the feather-soft fur of an endangered Siberian tiger.

² Other privileges afforded to the Baby Mama:

1.        30% off all weaves down at Shakirity’s Hair Bidness on Crenshaw.

2.        Ignoring the child’s needs/wants/desires/poop.

3.        External indifference to a complete lack of tact.

³ The internationally recognized unit for Baby Mamas.  Named after Shantel Jackson, one of the first and most well-known Baby Mamas.

⁴ There is nothing gangsta(er?), thug, or pimp about paying child support.

⁵ Most likely so you can continue running your own personal harem, but I warn you, doing so will only compound your Baby Mama problem.

⁶ On the other hand, if you treat your child like crap, your entire street credit reserves will be transferred to her/him.  While this initially seems like a good idea, it may come back to haunt you when your son/daughter decides to shiv you through the shower curtain.

⁷ Though the can of baked beans comes close.

⁸ Read: completely ineffective.

⁹ Note that the theory of spontaneous Baby Mama generation was actually disproved by Pasteur in a sister experiment of his gooseneck bottle study.  I’m just using the term here to add a little Real Housewives of Atlanta drama (I am the Joneses!).  Ugh, I just used up the last reserves of my street credit, didn’t I?