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• Instructions included
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Also available: Fur/Foam Costumes are great for everyday use and can be made in any shape or size.  These have molded lightweight fiberglass heads and custom sewn bodies.  Cost based on complexity, email us your design or idea and we will make it come to life.

Huge penis photographed as it floated silently above buildings

The National Reporter
A fifty foot long balloon shaped like a penis was spotted floating over Pittsburgh today.
Eye witnesses who watched the strange object float into view at first were very excited because they thought they were seeing the arrival of alien visitors.
When it got a little closer they were appalled and shocked.
“I think it was some kind of a sick joke.” Mary Igor said. “It was a gigantic balloon shaped like a mans penis just hanging in the sky above the city for all to see including the children.,..that isn’t funny.”
By noon it had drifted over the football stadium that was filled with thousands of football fans.
“All of a sudden everyone looked up.” Joe Whunterman said. “At first I thought it was the Goodyear blimp, but when I saw what it was I was stunned. The whole stadium became silent, all you could hear was mumbling from the crowd. No one thought it was funny.”

The flying penis disrupted the big football game

The big game came to a halt for fifteen minutes as the disgusting penis shaped balloon loomed over head in the still afternoon air.
“It was deathly still that afternoon, not even a slight breeze.” Rodger Uriah said. “It was embarrassing as hell because I had my grand kids with me and they were asking me what it was.”
The National Reporter – What did you tell them?
“I told them it was an advertisement for one of those store-bought fire logs, but my nine-year old grandson knew what it was and he was blabbing it to the rest of the kids. The damned thing ruined our day.”

The flying penis disrupted the game, no one was amused at the obscene flying object.

“When we find out who made this thing they are going to be spending some time inside the county jail, I promise you that.” Pittsburgh Police chief  Thomas Riddle said.
The National Reporter – Do you have any suspects yet?
“We have a few in mind who we suspect would do something like this, sick bastards. you know the type.”
The National Reporter – Do you have any idea how this thing was constructed?
“Well, we weren’t able to shoot it down because of public safety, so all we can do is follow it hoping that it will fall to Earth or get trapped in a tree or something so we can gather forensic evidence. It looks like it was constructed out of bed sheets spray painted flesh color with purple veins and other details to make it appear more realistic.
The inside is packed from front to back with helium filled plastic garbage bags.”
The National Reporter - It sounds like someone went through a lot of trouble making this thing.
“Not really.” Chief Riddle said. “Even someone with limited skills could build one of these abominations in an afternoon.”

The flying penis was last seen heading east towards New Jersey and NYC.

By 3:00 pm the wind began to kick up and the flying penis was swept from the sky’s over Pittsburgh.
It was last seen gaining altitude and heading east towards central New Jersey and was expected to reach New York city within two days.
After that, the flying penis could possibly reach Europe within a week, although inside information received by The National Reporter indicates that the military might shoot it down as soon as it reaches the open sea.

© The National Reporter, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to The National Reporter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Os blimps:

Skywalkers – Scion Art Basel 2006 from FriendsWithYou on Vimeo.

…other random things that randomly make my day better.  Today I saw a blimp over my hometown.  This seems to happen about once over 18 or so months.  It happens right at the moment my mind is forgetting blimps exist.  I guess today’s blimp was somehow connected to football.  I don’t know.  Point is, I got a few moments of joy from it, and I hope you did too.  Now for some other random joy bringing things, please read with me as I read aloud.

Its floating on a cloud of the joy created by its sight.

When I see an animal doing almost anything.  When it is a stray dog or cat, as long as they look healthy and happy, it doesn’t have to do much to make me smile.  For example, a dog walking, if just at the right speed and apparent attitude, can be quite a joyous site.  Where is he going?  Why is he going there?  Who knows?  Only said dog.

When Comcast randomly hooks me up with extra channels.  If I ever to do a post about random things that make my day worse, I would have to mention Comcast randomly taking away extra channels.  Each event has only occurred once, but I still get hopeful every time I turn on the tube and check to see if BBCAmerica and the Fine Living Network is watchable again.

Finding unopened snack food in parking lots and at gas stations.  Yes, it happens, and yes, I eat it.  One time it was a red bull, another time a can of Mountain Dew.  How can one tell if it is fresh?  Well, if it is a drink, condensation will let you know.  If it is still damp and cool, it is still good.  For the bag of Herr’s Ketchup chips, the first bite will tell you all you need to know.

Finally, running over garbage in parking lots.  Closely related to the last one.  Nothing beats the satisfying crush of driving over a Wendy’s Biggie drink, half full, on a warm autumn day.  When I had a truck, this was easier (wider tires and all).  Now, with my car, it has become more of a game of finesse and precision rather than of brute force.  Lets say that Mountain Dew can from above was as warm as fresh urine.  In that case, deem it garbage, drive away like a falcon, swoop in, and destroy it.  Satisfying.

Thanks for reading, hope you have a great day.

Recent Post

We all know how tough times are, and we all feel the need to cut corners wherever we can……… BUT, did you ever stop and think that cutting your “marketing” corners might be the worst you can do for your business?  That’s right!  Now is the time to market, market and market even more.  Put your business in the direct viewing of customers and they will not only stop in, but will purchase your products!

So, put your company out there with help from my good friends at  USA Outdoor Media Their balloons, blimps and air dancers really do draw in customers!  Think of when you’ve been out shopping…… You’ve seen these advertising aids, and probably gone and checked out the business using them, haven’t you!!???!!!!  Well, now it’s you turn to draw in those crowds, too!

Goodyear tire company was founded on August 29, 1898. The photograph below, courtesy of California Historical Society Digital Archive collection, shows how the company advertised itself in 1920s.

Goodyear Blimp flying beside two sailing yachts, ca.1929

You are just driving along and suddenly your kid in the back seat cries out, “Look, a BIG balloon!”  You look up and the teacher in you absently corrects the child, “No, dear, that’s a blimp.”  Then you pause and the next thought that crosses your mind is, “I wonder what that’s all about…”  To satisfy that curiosity, you look up and try to find the words that would put an end to the mystery…. Aha!  It’s an advertisement for ….

That’s a typical reaction when there are blimps in the sky or for that matter, when there are inflatables in the sky or even on the ground.  These are not only eye catching but arouses the curiosity.  Both very necessary in the world of advertising.

USA Blimp has it all in terms of eye catching inflatables.  Choose from blimps, balloons, spheres, dancers, animals, sports, tents, holidays, costumes and patriotic inflatables to advertise your event or business.

The increased visibility will make your location more noticeable and increase the odds of stopping and shopping as potential customers drive by.

Okay, so I’ve had a very crazy schedule over the past few days with staying up until three in the morning because I couldn’t sleep, orientation for school, and general cartoonists’ block, but I think I’m starting to get back on track. Today I managed to do two comics… One about kernel panic that took waaaaaaaay too long to draw, and one about the Roomba apocalypse. I’m still thinking about drawing another comic, as it’s only 12:03 a.m. and the night is young. I feel like drawing something cuddly, like a sperm whale or a blimp. Possibly something with Boxy the Robot if I can come up with a joke.
Really not much else to report… yeah…

There’s ideas of an item before we purchase it.  It helps to buy in if there is a demonstration for a product, like those knives that cut through concrete [because running out of jackhammers sucks!].  But I’ll buy something just because I thought it was smart thing to do because I’m serious when I say I never made a stupid purchase [clarification: it was smart at the time].

Seriously, buy into the ideas I’m bringing out.

Well, it’s just one idea.  A supreme idea, an ideal.  Peace.

I suppose it’s my North American cultural leanings that taught me that we can buy peace.  My naivete believes it can be accomplished.  My mind thinks that a certain measure of it can be accomplished, and that’s all I can do.  Add to it by buying into it.

We paid for our peace in a more fundamental way when there were warmongers.  I think the first emporer of China and the foundation of Qin is a good historical lesson.  There’s other kinds of warmongering now.  Economic, cultural imperialism, and attacks on our planet’s health [in broad strokes].

I conceptualize that the best way is the way already done.  It’s been done so many ways that we couldn’t even contemplate.  Except I hate-times-infinity, hate didactic learning [pardon if you couldn't reach the end of that sentence].  It’s against my nature to learn without application.  It’s by application that I learn which knowledge to keep, my brain is way too tiny to keep everything else in.  But no, never will I say that the way you did it was stupid.  It worked for you so that’s smart, but I’m going to choose another way to do it, the way I think it’ll work for me. I want to buy peace in the best way possible.

I imagine that in our Cro-Magnon days we used speech and other signals.  But we tamed ourselves [somewhat] and thought of more sophisticated methods of expressing our emotions, peaceful and all else.  Sharing, trading, assigning numbers to services rendered.  We’ve come a long way, but the wild wild west isn’t won yet [will I find peace if I bought it all?].

Well I’m unemployed right now, just cooking up ideas.  Serving it up for you to enjoy [binge buckets in the comments section].  Well, it’s really a laboratory area so treat everything as initially toxic.  My last title was Process Engineer [2nd grade], it’s sort of a buzz heavy position title and I’m all thumbs when I try to explain it…  It’s a cross-disciplinary manufacturing and operations engineer, which is just a fancy way of saying I get in the middle of things and muck things up.  Well, I mucked things up because my act wasn’t clean yet.

I didn’t know any better, really.  That was the “ah-ha!” moment.  I’m ignorant.  I don’t like admitting it.  But it was my ignorance that was the cause of mistakes.  I thought I knew how to operate this machine, I thought that guy knew the topics we were scheduled to talk about, I thought the weather would be good, etc.

I am ignorant and that’s the truth.  For now.  The idea to buying peace is creating a culture where ignorance is not tolerated.  I can’t change anything other than myself, so I shall only be intolerate to ignorance in myself.  To support the education of another person, I shall reward their time and their passions, and in their unemployment roadtrip discover a wider world.

Just buy now while supplies last!

Hyderabad Inflatables Media Certified manufacturing process starts with your ideas and fulfills your dream. They promise it’s easy and strain free. The online catalogue is updated regularly. Get wide range of inflatables regularly at Hyderabad Inflatables.

The customers need to read and follow the instructions for better understanding.

• Select the image from the product list and send us the appropriate details regarding your requirement.
• Once we receive the product information, our sales team takes into action and contact’s you through the medium to verify your needs and collects all the necessary information.
• We will send you the commercial quote about the selected product. Once you order the confirmed product, we will begin the design process, either by building a raw model or draw it in the Multimedia.
• Once our design process ends, we send the images for approval and will take the feed back from the customer. Based on the feedback will make necessary changes if any.
• Once the design is approved, will send the automated pattern pieces to the computerized cutting table to complete the design process.
• All the pattern pieces are assembled by the staff and make it ready for display to check for the adjustments and defined sizes.
• Then the model will be takes place into quality inspection, all our testing staff will check each and every dimension of the prototype.
• After completion of Inspections and testing, the model will be sent to customers place safely and get to be noticed.

Cold Air Inflatables are one of the fastest methods of advertising to reach the customers. We bring the excitement of effective promotional display to your business or events.

The giant advertising cold air inflatable are larger than life in size presents your identity compare to any other advertising methods. These are many forms like y Giant characters, product replicas, Roof top balloons, Inflatable tents, sky dancers etc.,

These inflatables are widely used at new product launches, promotional campaign, trade shows and exhibitions.

• Character Shape
• General
• Pole Inflatable
• Product Shape

Herbert Morrison as broadcast on WLS…

It’s practically standing still now. They’ve dropped ropes out of the nose of the ship; and (uh) they’ve been taken ahold of down on the field by a number of men. It’s starting to rain again; it’s—the rain had (uh) slacked up a little bit. The back motors of the ship are just holding it (uh) just enough to keep it from— It’s burst into flames!It burst into flames, and it’s falling, it’s crashing! Watch it! Watch it! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Get this, Charlie; get this, Charlie! It’s fire—and it’s crashing! It’s crashing terrible! Oh, my! Get out of the way, please! It’s burning and bursting into flames; and the—and it’s falling on the mooring-mast. And all the folks agree that this is terrible; this is the one of the worst catastrophes in the world. [indecipherable] its flames… Crashing, oh! Four- or five-hundred feet into the sky and it—it’s a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen. It’s smoke, and it’s in flames now; and the frame is crashing to the ground, not quite to the mooring-mast. Oh, the humanity! and all the passengers screaming around here. I told you; it—I can’t even talk to people Their friends are out there! Ah! It’s—it—it’s a—ah! I—I can’t talk, ladies and gentlemen. Honest: it’s just laying there, mass of smoking wreckage. Ah! And everybody can hardly breathe and talk and the screaming. Lady, I—I—I’m sorry. Honest: I—I can hardly breathe. I—I’m going to step inside, where I cannot see it. Charlie, that’s terrible. Ah, ah;—I can’t. Listen, folks; I—I’m gonna have to stop for a minute because [indecipherable] I’ve lost my voice. This is the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed.

Today, May 6th marks the 72nd anniversary of the Hindenburg disaster.  Thirteen passengers and twenty-two crew and one member of the ground crew died in the explosion.

Advertising Inflatables can promote your business, and increase traffic to your location.

I4S Weekly Digest readership: are you ready to rock? What’s that? I can’t hear you! I said: Are you ready to rock? Well alright!

First up is the ongoing saga of police actions during the G20 protests in London. Brian Sims reports on the IPCC’s use of our images in its investigation – and unveils more footage which does not necessarily show the police in their best light.

Brian was also busy this week with his Editor’s View column. This edition featured a call for qualifications for security consultants. Heavy.

Over at the SIA, Andy Drane has been appointed as the interim chief. They’re still on the lookout for someone to take up the role permanently.

CCTV watchdog CameraWatch is advocating better CCTV operator training as a means of retaining public trust. That seems wise.

Elsewhere, we’ve got blimps; the BSIA and BT’s 21CN implementation; Arctic Monkeys in Songs About Security; and bandits in the fog.

In order to celebrate the fact that I have secured tickets to see Spinal Tap play at Wembley Arena in June, here is a somewhat rare video of them performing ‘Christmas with the Devil’ on Saturday Night Live in 1984. Oh yes indeed.

All aboard: www.info4security.com, www.ifsec.co.uk.

EIFFEL TOWER USED AS A WEATHERCOCK

This May Prove of Great Value to Aeronauts of the Future

A new use has been discovered for the Eiffel tower, which is quite important, although by no means of an exalted nature.  It is no less than that the falg on top of the tower serves as an admirable weather cock when read in conjunction with the structure itself, which has projections coinciding with the cardinal points of the compass, that facing north being painted red.  Occupants of balloons and airships can therefore, with the aid of field glasses, readily inform themselves of the nature of the wind at an altitude of 30 meters above the ground in that vicinity, and make their arrangements with more certainty in regard to any comtemplated aerial voyage.  –London Globe

The San Francisco Call
San Francisco, California
March 29, 1909

This is a print I designed for the release party (of Thrizzle 4) at Desert Island last year, in an edition of 50.

Hovering 12 miles up, airships will scan vast expanses

Steve Watson
Infowars.net
Friday, March 13, 2009

The Pentagon has announced intentions to launch an entire fleet of giant 450-foot-long airships which will act as a massive airborne radar system providing perpetual surveillance of vehicles, planes and people on the ground.

The Pentagon said Thursday that it intends to spend $400 million to develop a giant dirigible that will operate on hydrogen fuel cells and solar panels, floating 65,000 feet above the Earth for 10 years, reports the LA TImes.

The airships will be around twenty times larger than the Goodyear Blimp, giving ground operators the capability of monitoring an area hundreds of miles in diameter at a time with surveillance equipment, such as high-resolution cameras, in addition to the football-field-sized radar antenna.

Although very large, the airships will be invisible to both the naked eye and ground radar because of their distance from the earth, hovering around 12 miles above the ground.

The craft would also operate beyond the range of any hand-held missile, many surface-to-air missiles and most fighter planes.

Read more

Airborn.  Kenneth Oppel.  Read by David Kelly and the Full Cast Family

2003 (book); 2006 (Full Cast Audio)  Full Cast Audio.  10.5 hours.

YALSA Amazing Audio Book for Young Adults.  (Also in: Survival in Love, War or Sports) (Technically, Airborn also falls under the Fantasy (alternate history) genre.)

4Q-4P-M/J/S

Matt Cruise is a sixteen year-old cabin boy on the airship Aurora.  Matt was born on an airship and only feels comfortable when he is in the air.  He loves the Aurora.  He has been on the ship for three years learning everything he can about the ship, and sending his salary home to his mother and sisters.  He desperately wants to be become a sail maker, like his deceased father, and to spend his life sailing on the luxury liner Aurora taking passengers from one side of the world to the other.

Kate, one of the wealthy passengers, and Matt become friends as she travels on the Aurora.  It turns out that a year before Kate and Matt met, Matt rescued Kate’s grandfather on a doomed air balloon trip.  Before he dies, Kate’s grandfather claims he found a previously unknown flying mammal, a cloud cat, but no one believes the raving man, except for Kate.  Kate desperately wants to find the flying cats to prove her grandfather was sane.

The airship is attacked and damaged by pirates during the journey, so they are forced to crash land on a deserted island in the middle of the “Pacificus.”  Kate wants to explore the island and sneaks off (taking Matt with her).  While exploring, they find both a skeleton and a live cloud cat.  As they try to get a picture of the live animal, they are captured by the pirates who have been using the island as a secret base.  Matt and Kate escape but find the Aurora was captured by the pirates while they were gone.  Kate, Matt, and another crew member board the ship and, after a great struggle, take her back from the pirates.      

Airborn is a tale of high adventure, coming of age, pirates, and friendship.  The first-hand perspective (Matt is telling the tale) involves the reader in the story.  It is easy to suspend disbelief and imagine a world of “lighter than air balloon” air travel.  The quick pacing and constant action keep the reader wondering “What is going to happen next?” and allow the characters in the story to come to better understand themselves and the world around them. 

I really love the way the audio version of Airborn is put together.  Each character in the novel has a different voice (cast member) in the audiobook.  It really brings the book to life.  It was almost like listening to an old-time radio show.  I know it is not the norm for audiobooks, but it is very successful for storytelling purposes in this recording. 

My biggest complaint is that in listening to Airborn in Playaway format, I can’t tell when I am close to the end of the recording.  With printed books and books on CD, you can judge how far you are in the story, but with the Playaway format, even though each chapter has a timer that counts down (allowing you to know how much time you need to play an entire chapter), there is no timer for the entire book.  I don’t think I ever realized how much I use book length (in pages or number of CDs) to determine the climax/plot of the book.  Around hour six, I kept distracting myself by repeatedly thinking “Is this the climax or is there more coming?”  (This experience actually taught me a great deal about how I read and analyze books.)

The cover art for the Playaway is a small picture of the cover of the novel, depicting a blimp aloft in a night sky over a body of water.  It is a surprisingly accurate account of the novel; everything that happens in this book is because of the airship.  I believe the cover will appeal to male and female readers alike.  My only criticism is that, because the cover art is on the Playaway box, it is very small to see, and possible readers may not understand what they are seeing on the box.

This was an extremely engaging action/adventure tale of sailing, pirates, discovery, and survival, with just a touch of unrequited love/romance thrown in for spice.  As I was listening to the story, I didn’t want to turn off the recording to go into work or the house.  I think this is a great book for both male and female readers.

P.S. Technically, Airborn also falls under the Fantasy (alternate history) genre.