Join Clarifi and FinanciallyHers® for a special event, Financially Single & Thriving, on Saturday, May 18th from 9:15am – 12:00pm at the United Way Building in Center City (1709 Ben Franklin Parkway) Philadelphia . 

The event will show attendees how to manage their finances at any stage of life, whether they are in a relationship, single or in transition.

Speakers will include:

Tiffany W. Thurman, FinanciallyHers Program Manager, Clarifi

Sheila Brennan, Divorce Coach

Stephanie W. McCullough, Financial Advisor, Sofia Financial

and Judith Drasin, Esq., Associate Counsel, Lipsky and Brandt.

Guest speakers will share their expertise on the following topics:

• Developing realistic goals and expectations during a transition process

• Protecting yourself financially

• Knowing when you need an attorney

Attendees can register at clarifi.org or by calling 800-989-2227. Attendance is free; seating is limited.  A continental breakfast will also be available at 8:45am.

Started in 2008, FinanciallyHers has empowered over 1,800 women to take control of their finances and is primarily funded by Citibank.

(I realise I’m making my neighbourhood sound awful. It’s not that bad really. I’m not going to tell you where I live, because it’ll create a prejudice within you whether you want it to or not, the same way you’d read this differently if I mentioned what school I went to or how much my father makes in a financial year. Humans are wired to judge based on superficial shit like that. Don’t worry, I do it too. Just know my suburb is swell, and it has pretty parks and stuff, and is a super place to live… if you like being bored senseless.)

I was in the city, post-lecture, (I would tell you about my lecture and all, but that would boring as hell for someone who isn’t interested in Modern and Contemporary Literature) at 11. I was meeting a friend at 12, which left me with nothing to do for an hour. A good uni student would have brought their readings or something and hit up the library for an hour, but I got on a tram and rode down to Collins St instead. Once I got there I went in search of a café. I don’t go to the same café twice. Coffee is rarely amazing enough to justify a return visit, and is almost always mediocre enough to encourage further exploration. Don’t get me wrong, I love coffee, and Melbourne coffee is better than most (although the number of baristas who burn milk is incredible). Really I just like the excuse to go to new places.

So I found a café I’d never noticed before, went in, and killed an hour drinking a tall latte and alternating between reading (just for fun- I know, I’m terrible) and people watching. Caffeine makes me gloriously observant. I had a good seat right by the window so I could see everyone walking past, but also everyone actually in the café. People never think they’re being watched when they’re alone, even when they’re in a really public space like a café. And people who are with other people always seem to think they’re the only ones in there. They talk so loudly, and normally about things that they probably wouldn’t want strangers to hear. Or maybe they do, and just don’t care. I’m a fantastic eavesdropper. I really am. I learnt from my mother, a true connoisseur of the art. She can be in a café for two minutes and know the business of everyone in a four-table radius. Really I think she pays more attention to everyone else than the people she’s with. Anyway, the girl on the table two to my left was having a stupidly fussy coffee (skinny-soy-extra-hot-double-shot-something-or-another) and telling the guy she was with about how bad her skin is. Did he want to hear that? Hell no, but she went on and on about it, about how she was wearing a shit load of make-up to cover it up, about how it was especially bad under her fringe- “This is nothing! It’s up here! It’s hidden”. It was truly ridiculous. I couldn’t focus on my book at all.

One hour and many many bizarre overheard comments later, I left to meet my friend. I was strolling along Collins St in my Terry Malloy coat (I called it that because it’s black, white and grey check- very like that worn by Marlon Brando in Kazan’s On The Waterfront. The colours actually symbolise… I won’t ruin it for you. It’s a fantastic film. Watch it.) So I was strolling along, figuring I could take my time because my friend would be late anyway, and having a good look around at all the people that were streaming in every direction. It’s never quiet in the city. Even at times you think it would be, times that are quiet in other places- the city’s always moving. Some things you see in the city aren’t all that nice to look at. I don’t even mean the really awful uncomfortable things, like homeless people, I just mean things like kids getting yelled at by their parents, or idiots that think it’s funny to kick the sides of old buildings, or people having really loud arguments in public. That kind of thing makes the city kind of depressing and miserable to be in. It makes people seem fairly awful. There was plenty of that kind of stuff going on on this particular day. But then I saw this girl riding her bike along Swanston St. It was one of those cute vintage-type bikes that everyone has now, but that wasn’t what really made me smile. She was riding along holding this blue leash connected to this giant huski. It was all fluffy and white, totally at odds with its size, and she was wearing this big grey woollen jumper. She didn’t look exactly like the dog, but it was enough to make up for any other crap I’d seen that morning. Things like a girl in a woollen jumper riding a bike with a huski on a leash have so much happy-capital.

As someone who grew up in the suburbs, went to school in the suburbs, and still lives in the suburbs, I can truly appreciate how wonderful it is to be able to go to the city every day.

I hate the suburbs. I really do. Everything about them makes me numb with boredom. The inner suburbs are bearable at least, with the cute shopping strips and the nice architecture and all, but the outer suburbs make me vaguely nauseous. Apologies to the people who live in the outer suburbs- I’m allowed to be this disparaging because I actually live in the suburbs But anyway, the point is that when I leave the wasteland that is suburbia and get into the city, I feel like my day is really beginning. Partly because that’s when I go to uni and see people and be productive in general, but also because in the city everything is moving and busy and you can see people, not just cars everywhere. I swear, the city’s the only place where people walk around anymore.

So anyway, I arrive at Melbourne Central and go through the myki gates and have my concession card checked by the same guy who checks it once or twice a week. He never seems to recognise me, or think to save time by skipping me because my concession card is just as valid as it was 3 days ago, but I suppose he sees a lot of people during the day. And I guess he’s looking at my card, not at me so much, except to ascertain that I am student-looking enough to warrant checking.

Then I go up the two sets of escalators, and get really irritated at people who don’t know escalator etiquette and stand on the right hand side, talking to their friend who is equally oblivious to the fact that they’re holding everyone else up. Really, surely they can see that people are all standing up on the left, and people that are walking are doing so up the right hand side, and everyone who is walking has to stop right behind them?

The way people move around in the city is really interesting. Eliot seemed to think people all moved together in a mass, a swarm of people with one destination. Maybe the city has progressed in the last century or so, but I don’t see people in the city as a mass. They’re far closer to being like those birds that fly around in these crazy, indistinguishable formations. They don’t communicate, and yet they never fly into each other. I think people in the city are just below those birds- sometimes people run straight into me. But for the most part we all move around each other, all the same and yet all different, on our way home or to work or to uni or to meet people or to buy something or to see something or just for the sake of being out.

Anywho…there are four categories:

1. Biggest variety (a category I would have fitted in),
2. Most creative features
3. Best indie reviewer
4. Most eye catching blog layout.

The deadline for voting is May 14th an overall winner of 2013 will be crowned Miss/Mr Book Bloggie of the Year. Now if you’re like me and want to be considered for next year’s awards email http://samantha@jkscommunications.com. Make sure you like their Facebook page too.

Peace and luv!

Posted from none other than your favorite writer’s favorite writer Ms Talia

(credit: Thinkstock)

Once again, the summer movie season seems to have kicked off just as early as the temperatures began to rise.

Although the official start of summer isn’t until June 21, that hasn’t stopped the release of some of the season’s most anticipated films.

“Iron Man 3” has already raked in millions worldwide and domestically — something Hollywood hopes the rest of the films on this list will do.

And just like summers-past, the sequel trend continues — making up about a third of the list, as well as throwing in some reboots.

Check out some of the most anticipated summer films for 2013 and let us know what you are most looking forward to in the comments below.

Star Trek Into Darkness – May 16
The follow up to J.J. Abrams 2009 blockbuster has the Enterprise crew battling an old nemesis — leaving many fans wondering and anticipating if Chris Pine will deliver one of the most famous Star Trek lines.

Fast and Furious 6 – May 24
After last year’s surprisingly fun “Fast 5,” it’s no surprise that we’re getting another installment in the franchise of sleek cars and hot women.

The Hangover Part III – May 24
Read Our Review
The Wolfpack heads back to Vegas in the final installment of the “what happened last night?” series. There’s no wedding this time, but the shenanigans are sure to be just as outrages as the first two films.

After Earth – May 31
Will Smith and son Jaden team up in this post-apocalyptic film, crash landing on Earth 1,000 years after humanity has abandoned the blue planet. Will this sci-fi be the return to glory for director M. Night Shyamalan?

This Is The End – June 12
It’s another apocalypse movie, but this time it’s from the perspective of celebrities. Seth Rogen (who also serves as co-writer) and James Franco reunite in this star-studded comedy that asks the question, how would our beloved celebrities deal with the end of the world?

Man of Steel – June 14
After 2006’s disappointing “Superman Returns,” the Last Son of Krypton gets a reboot in this new tale that has our hero faced with the fear that Earth may not accept him.

This is definitely one of the films I’m most looking forward to seeing. It’s been quite sometime since any film’s trailer has looked quite as mesmerizing as for “Man of Steel.”

World War Z – June 21
Zombies are all the rage right now thanks to the popularity of AMC’s “The Walking Dead.” Based on the book of the same title (written by Mel Brooks’ son Max Brooks), the film stars Brad Pitt as a U.N. worker racing to stop the zombie pandemic from eliminating humanity.

Monsters University – June 21
From zombies we move onto monsters. The Pixar prequel takes us back to Sulley and Mike’s college years where they learned to scare. We get a peek into the lives of the best friends at a time when they weren’t necessarily that.

I’m biased — I love Pixar — and I can’t wait for this film.

White House Down – June 28
Remember “Olympus Has Fallen” from earlier this year? Another one-man army saves our president — the only difference is Jamie Foxx is much younger than Morgan Freeman.

The Lone Ranger – July 3
Disney has been pretty good to Johnny Depp, and the return of the masked Texan has been getting plenty of hype to continue that streak. Captain Jack Sparrow hangs up his sword as he steps into the role of Tonto. Let’s hope this Jerry Bruckheimer-produced film is as entertaining as the pair’s first pirate adventure.

Despicable Me 2 – July 3
Steve Carell returns as the former villain turned dad to help fight a powerful new super criminal. His minions still look cute, and I hope the film will be as entertaining as the first — but please don’t spawn into too many sequels.

The Way, Way Back – July 5
This is probably the closest to an indie film on our list, but you can’t ignore the star-power brought to this film (also staring Steve Carell). Though you might not know the names of writers and directors Nat Faxon (“Ben and Kate”) and Jim Rash (“Community”), you might remember 2011′s “The Descendants,” which garnered them both an Oscar for writing. The film tells the story of one awkward teenager coming into his own through the unlikely friendship with a water park employee (Sam Rockwell). It’s just not summer without a coming of age tale.

Pacific Rim – July 12
Honestly, this film looks a bit ridiculous with it’s MechWarrior-like story, and there is only one reason to see it — director Guillermo del Toro. He has given us the beautiful “Pan’s Labyrinth” and most recently co-wrote “The Hobbit” trilogy. The renowned Mexican director has given us some visually beautiful and entertaining films. So, this one is definitely worth giving a shot.

The Wolverine – July 26
It’s another superhero reboot. After 2009′s awful “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” fans needed a break from our clawed hero. Taking a note from many superhero films of late, (i.e. “The Dark Knight,” and “Man of Steel”) “The Wolverine” also gets dark and gritty, stripping our hero to his most vulnerable state.

2 Guns – August 2
It’s a shoot ‘em up staring Denzel Washington (probably playing the same role he’s played since 2001′s “Training Day”) and Mark Wahlberg (also playing a familiar role). Directed by Baltasar Kormákur (“Contraband” — which also stared Wahlberg), this is bound to be the obligatory standard summer action film.

Elysium – August 9
Set in the future, the privileged and poor live in separate worlds — much like last year’s “Total Recall” remake. This is director Neill Blomkamp’s first feature film since his 2009 debut with “District 9.” Staring Matt Damon, this film looks just as visually stunning as “District 9” did when it surprised audiences, coming out of nowhere.

Kick-Ass 2 – August 16
It’s the return of the high-school heroes, but this time they have created a Justice League of their own as many more suit up in this comic book sequel.

The World’s End – August 23
This is the final film in what is known as the “Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy,” which includes 2004’s “Shaun of the Dead” and 2007’s “Hot Fuzz” — all three are directed by Edgar Wright and star Simon Pegg (also in “Star Trek Into Darkness”) and Nick Frost.

There’s no doubt this is going to be one of the “guy films” of the summer. The general story is about a group of male friends going out on an epic pub crawl, which of course leads to all sorts of tomfoolery. Oh, did I mention it’s also about aliens?

Well in recognition of the special day, several restaurants and retailers are offering freebies and special deals.  Whether you’re out shopping, eating or running a few errands, Cameron Huddleston, editor at Kiplinger’s tallies nine offers that you might want to take advantage of:

• Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar is giving mothers who eat at its location on Mother’s Day a $25 gift card for a future visit. See http://www.flemingssteakhouse.com/locations for locations.
• Hooters is honoring moms with a free meal up to $10 with a drink purchase on May 12 at any of its locations.
• I Heart Faces has three Mother’s Day photo-card templates that you can download for free.
• IKEA is offering a free breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon and potatoes and a cup of coffee on May 12 from opening until 11AM.
• McCormick & Schmick’s is giving moms complimentary truffles with brunch or dinner on Mother’s Day.
• O’Charley’s will offer a free slice of pie on May 12 to all mothers who dine at any of its locations.
• Redbox is offering a free one-day rental when you buy an egift card for Mother’s Day. 
• TCBY will give a free frozen yogurt (up to 6 ounces) to moms on Mother’s Day. Check with the store in your area to make sure it is participating.

 For more information visit: http://www.kiplinger.com/article/spending/T050-C011-S001-mother-s-day-freebies-and-deals-2013.html.

via

Oops, we have been really bad blogger ladies…our bad!

So for this weekend, we leave you with this oh so lovely little girls room. Ooh I (N) can’t wait to have babies , and get to design their rooms. Especially if they are lovely little monkeys who will share a room just like me and my sister did- we are the best of friends we are! 

xoxo lovelies, happy weekend!

JRTracing provides good information about Newmarket horses plus a free subscription service as well as documentaries about horse racing, blogs, horses to follow etc all for free   

Stamp Out Hunger is the nation’s largest single-day food drive.  It collects more than 70 million pounds of food in a single day.   On Saturday, May 11^th, the nation’s 175,000 letter carriers will pick up non-perishable food left by mailboxes and deliver it to local food banks, where it will help families across the country.

In honor of the campaign’s 21^st anniversary, in our region the Campbell Soup Company will contribute one million pounds of food and 21,000 cans to Feeding America to kick-off this year’s Stamp Out Hunger food drive. 

Wonder what foods are great to donate to the food drive?  Here are a few non-perishable food items requested by food banks:

• Cereal
• Pasta
• Rice
• Canned fruits and vegetables
• Canned meals such as soups, chili, pasta
• 100% juice
• Peanut butter
• Pasta sauce or spaghetti sauce
• Macaroni & cheese
• Canned protein – tuna, chicken, turkey
• Beans – canned or dry

For more information visit:   http://www.helpstampouthunger.com/

An image may be able to say a thousand words, but compiling a vast amount of images to create a logical argument is not that simple. I recently learned about visual rhetoric, at first it I thought it would be a simple task to complete. Once I actually allowed myself some time to put together a visual rhetoric presentation I felt the pressure; constructing an argument and having the ability to convince others using text or doing so orally is no simple task, so this was not about to be a cake walk either. I found myself having difficulty choosing the correct images for my presentation because I know that people come from different backgrounds and therefore have different perspectives. Interpretation of an image and what it represents can vary from individual to individual. However with the help of some text the images can be properly interpreted and make a compelling statement to the audience that is viewing the presentation.  Although it was difficult to choose images to include on the presentation, once the images were chosen putting together the presentation was very exciting process. Once the presentation was completed it was amazing looking at it. I think some people can benefit from visual rhetoric because of the variety of learning styles. For some it may be easier to comprehend the argument or meaning behind the images than if they were to just listen to an oral presentation with no images to relate to the information being given.

Up and Down Broad Street

Last Sunday’s Inquirer summed up the Broad Street Run in a memorable way stating, “Broad Street was a no-go. I-95 was a parking lot and game day traffic hadn’t even begun while the Independence Blue Cross Broad Street run rendered that 10-mile city stretch off limits to vehicle traffic until close to noon.” Yes, it was ugly. But that jam up isn’t the thing to remember about last Sunday.

It’s a day that top finishers, Ethiopian natives Askale Merachi and Ayele Feisha, will long remember for the great conditions and enthusiastic crowds. Feisha’s day began at 4:30 a.m. in New York. He drove to Philadelphia, lined up along with about 40,000 other run participants and took off at 8:31 a.m. Forty-seven minutes and three seconds later, he threw up his arms and dashed through the finish line, running eight seconds faster than the next finisher in the ten-mile race. Merachi, the fastest female runner, finished in 53:46. Behind came thousands of runners committed to the event and determined to ignore safety concerns. It was a picture perfect day for the Run, even if the shadow of Boston was carried by every runner and reveler there. Fortunately, the day ended without incident, that highway log-jam broke up and the city was proud.

On Saturday, a horse named Orb won the Kentucky Derby with jockey Joel Rosario in the saddle. The trainer was sixty-two-year-old Shug McGaughey, a member of the Jockey’s Hall of Fame, who had never won the Derby on or behind a horse. Orb is owned by Ogden Mills Phipps and Stuart Janney III, first cousins and prominent members of the Phipps racing empire. Six generations of that family have been involved in the sport, stock-piling victories in the biggest races – but the Kentucky Derby had eluded them too. In 1998, their Easy Goer finished second to Sunday Silence and that was the closest they’d ever come to the roses. Phipps also lost the legendary Secretariat as a foal on a coin toss to another stable. So, although the family insisted it didn’t have Derby fever, we can assume that the singing of “My Old Kentucky Home” at Churchill Downs last Saturday brought a large lump to their throats. As it turned out, the tune never sounded sweeter for the Phipps family when Orb crossed the finish line.

On a sour note, last weekend saw the Phillies blanked on Saturday by Jose Fernandez, a rookie pitcher from Miami, on one hit for a final score of 2-0. The next day the Phils and starter, Roy Halladay, were blown out by the Marlins 14-2. Such losses are more than the Phillies and their fans expected to face this season. And at this writing, Halladay is on the disabled list and heading to Los Angeles for a consultation with an orthopedic surgeon.

On the Road

When the Phillies considered their upcoming schedule last week, they had reason for encouragement. They were to play two games against the Indians in Cleveland and return home for four against the purportedly pathetic Marlins. For a team that had gotten out of the gate slowly with disappointing results in the early going, Charley Manuel’s guys could anticipate the chance to better their record. But schedules can be deceiving – as can a roster that lists more talent that it actually contains. The Indians won both games in their Progressive Park and the Marlins took two at home from the Phils, who were lucky to break even in that series. In fact, after winning the first two games of the series, the Phillies actually presented the Floridians with a chance to shine.

After seeing the rookie Fernandez shut them out and watching Halladay obviously struggle on the mound, you have to wonder if things are going to get better – and, if they do, with what consistency. The Phils are on the road now for six games against clubs that are in serious contention and have consistent pitching. That trip includes San Francisco and Giants pitchers Madison Bumgarner, Tim Lincecum and Barry Zito, all of whom know how to throw against the Phillies. After the third game, an afternoon get-away, the team will travel to Arizona where they’ll see some improved pitching among the Diamondbacks. Barring any future problems in the rotation or bullpen, the Phils will pitch Cliff Lee, Kyle Kendrick and Jonathan Pettibone in California. Hamels will take the mound in Arizona. Doc Halladay will be in LA for medical testing.

Placido Polanco, now with the Marlins, commented on Sunday after Halladay left the game, “If the man is hurt, he is hurt. I hope he gets things taken care of. I hope he comes back like the winner he is.” Also speaking after Sunday’s game was Charley Manuel, who faced the future realistically saying, “We will continue to struggle until we start hitting the ball better and making better contact and doing things better.” The struggles continue. And, yes, we also wish Doc well.

Communication Problems in the Club House

You would think that the Phillies might have learned something from last season’s drama with Chase Utley. Utley missed most of last year because the only person who knew about the severity of his aching knees was Chase Utley. The general manager, the manager, the trainer – no one knew if Utley’s knees had acted up during the winter or if he had done anything about them in the off-season. It was baseball’s version of “Don’t ask, don’t tell” as Utley seemed to have kept all in the dark until the blinders were finally pulled off everyone’s eyes at spring training. The player’s silence and the team’s reluctance to press him probably lost them a pennant, though we’ll never know for sure. But that brings us to the equally disturbing situation with Roy Halladay.

Since coming to the Phillies, Doc has won forty games. He threw a memorable perfect game, a no-hitter in the play-offs. He’s won the Cy Young Award twice. He has thrilled baseball fans here with his talent and dedication to the sport. But lately the left-hander’s right shoulder has been hurting like a toothache. Yet, like Utley of a year ago, it appears that he didn’t tell anyone about it. No one in charge seems to have known just what kind of trouble the superstar was in. There was speculation that he had some post-game stiffness but it seems that there had been no discussion about an underlying issue that could be far more serious. It’s pretty clear that Halladay didn’t confide in pitching coach Rich Dubee, since Dubee kept insisting that the problem would pass. And he mustn’t have talked to Charley Manuel, who indicates that he didn’t know what was going on with his prized starter. It was left to all of us to watch him throw on Sunday afternoon, his pain increasing, his frustration mounting and his face getting redder with every throw before loud alarms were finally sounded. Ruben Amaro said later than he knew nothing about Halladay’s severe discomfort until Doc left the game in the third inning after a pummeling. How can this be? Who’s in charge in the club house? It was only after the game, lost lopsidedly 14-2, that Halladay finally acknowledged his problem to a reporter, saying that his right shoulder pain had “kind of progressed over the last two weeks or so.” Which means that he’s been in pain since April 25th, the morning after his start against Pittsburgh. Apparently, he never told anyone about it until he walked off the mound on Sunday. This is hardly the frankness one should expect from a $20 million player. It’s also not the kind of involvement and oversight that we expect from management. Something is missing in the communication skills at Citizen’s Bank Park. It makes you wonder, what is it about the Phillies that seems to discourage its players from telling the truth? And who’s really running the show?

Roy Halladay will be examined by Dr. Lewis Yocum, a renowned shoulder specialist, in Los Angeles this week. Sadly, fans have to consider the possibility that Doc could be done.

Jason Collins

Jason Collins’ admission last week that he is gay was seen as a watershed moment in professional sports because he’s the first athlete in one of the four major sports to “come out” while still active in the pros. But Will Sheridan, a four-year starter for Villanova’s basketball team who also is gay, says the true watershed moment won’t come until all athletes involved in the four majors come out as well. Whether Sheridan is right or not, time will tell. But Collins kicked off the conversation and Sheridan credits him for it while noting, “A star player on top of his game would and could change the culture right now.”

Jason Collins, 34, is considered a journeyman player, having spent time with six different teams in a twelve-year NBA career. He can become a free agent this coming season bet there is no guarantee that any team will sign him to a new contract – not due to his sexual orientation but to his age. We’ll have to keep tabs on that story. As for Sheridan, his basketball career was over by the time he publicly came out in an ESPN article two years ago. He said that he had told some close friends in middle and high school that he was gay, and that he had told his college room mate, Mike Nardi, on the first day of school. At 6’8″, Sheridan was a starting forward at Villanova from 2003 to 2007, reaching the Sweet Sixteen and the Elite Eight in the NCAA tournament. Some students outside the Villanova community found out about his orientation during those years and taunted him when he played at St. Joe’s or Penn. His biggest fear at those times, he said, was for his parents and grandmother who were sitting in the stands. Now twenty-eight, Sheridan lives in New York where he is a hip hop artist. He acknowledged that he has a still-strained relationship with his father, which he hopes will change over time. He’s realistic, saying, “It took me nineteen years to come out to my parents. I have to give them time to be comfortable with who I am.” Which is pretty much what all parents want for their kids.

Jason Collins and Will Sheridan. Two pretty brave men.

In the Golf World

At Quail Hollow Country Club in Charlotte, North Carolina, a guy names Derek Ernst birdied the final eighteenth hole to force a play-off and then to win the Wells Fargo Championship against Englishman, David Lynn, last weekend. Ernst was playing in his ninth PGA tour as a fourth alternate. He had been driving from New Orleans to Athens, Georgia, to play in a Web.com tour event this week when he received a call last Monday afternoon. He was told that Quail Hollow’s greens were in poor shape and players had begun to withdraw so he’d landed a starting spot if he could get there. He headed for Charlotte. At the start of the tournament, Ernst was ranked 1,207 in the world but he beat out the likes of Rory McElroy and Nick Watney for the win – not to mention Phil Mickelson, who bogeyed two of the final three holes to derail himself. It looks like Derek Ernst’s ranking and his plans for the immediate future have just changed.

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How cute is this space…it reminds me of the bunk room I am doing now!

غیر شادی شدہ ہمیشہ شادی شدہ سے دانا ہوتا ہے جبھی تو وہ غیر شادی شدہ ہوتا ہے۔ —. اللسٹریشن: خدا بخش ابڑو

is blog ko Mirza Yasin Baig ki awaaz mein sunne ke liye play ka button click karen | اس بلاگ کو مرزا یٰسین بیگ کی آواز میں سننے کے لئے پلے کا بٹن کلک کریں

بیوی بلوغت کی انٹرنیشنل ڈگری ہے۔ اسے سنبھال کر رکھنا ہر شوہر کے فرائض میں شامل ہے ۔ بیوی نئی ہو تو کہیں اور دل نہیں لگتا اور پرانی ہوجائے تو بیوی میں دل نہیں لگتا۔  بیوی شروع شروع میں آپ کے تمام کام کرتی ہے بعدازاں کام تمام کرتی ہے ۔ باپردہ بیوی وہ ہوتی ہے جو شوہر کا دیگر تمام عورتوں سے پردہ کروادے۔ مرد کو اپنی برائی اور کمزوری کا احساس بیوی کے ذریعے ہی ہوتا ہے۔ بیوی آغاز میں محبت دیتی ہے اور انجامِ کار بچے۔

بیوی خوبصورت ہو تو نظر نہیں ہٹتی اور بدصورت ہو تو نظر نہیں لگتی۔ از روئے مذہب ہر بیوی کا ایک شوہر اور ہر شوہر کی کئی بیویاں ہوسکتی ہیں۔ محبوبہ کو بیوی بنانا آسان ہے صرف ایک نکاح خواں، چند گواہ اور چوہارے کی ضروت ہوتی ہے۔ مگر بیوی کو محبوبہ کو بنائے رکھنے کے لیے پوری تنخواہ، پورا دل، پوری آنکھیں، پورا بیڈ روم اور پوری صاف ستھری نیت کی ضرورت ہوتی ہے۔ ایک بیوی شوہر کا دل اور گھر آنگن صاف رکھتی ہے ۔ وہ بیوی کم، ہدایت اور نیکی کا فرشتہ زیادہ ہوتی ہے۔

بچہ بالغ اور ملازمت پیشہ ہوجائے تو ماں باپ اس کی بیوی لانے کا سوچتے ہیں اور وہی بیوی گھر آکر شوہر کے والدین کو بے گھر کرنے کا سوچتی ہے۔ سہاگ رات کی بیوی اور آگے کی ہر رات والی بیوی میں بڑا فرق ہوتا ہے ویسے ہی جیسے ڈھکن کھول کر فوری کولڈ ڈرنک پینے اور بعد ازاں فریج میں رکھی کولڈڈرنک پینے میں ہوتا ہے۔

کہتے ہیں اچھی بیوی زبان سے پہچانی جاتی ہے۔ زبان کہاں چلانا ہے یہ اچھی بیوی اچھی طرح جانتی ہے۔ کچھ شوہر بیوی کی لسانی کارروائی سے طلوع آفتاب تک خوش رہتے ہیں۔  اکثر شوہر خوش لباس بیویوں کو پسند کرتے ہیں اور لباس میں دیکھ کر زیادہ خوش رہتے ہیں۔ دوسری بیوی وہیں لائی جاتی ہے جہاں پہلی کچن یا بیڈ میں ایکٹو نہ ہو۔ بیوی کے ساتھ بہت سارے فرائض منسوب ہیں جیسے روزانہ کھانا اور دماغ پکانا، گھر اور بستر صاف رکھنا، سالانہ بچے دینا اور شوہر کو خوش رکھنا۔ آخرالذکر کام ایسا ہی ہے جیسا کہ وزیراعظم کا کام صدرِ پاکستان کو خوش رکھنا ۔ اس کام میں کتنا مکھن یا تیل ضائع ہوتا ہے اس کا حساب کوئی نہیں رکھتا۔

اکثر شوہر اپنی بیوی سے شاکی رہتے ہیں کیونکہ انسان ہر سال نیا سیل فون تو خرید لیتا ہے مگر بیوی وہی چلتی رہتی ہے۔ انسان کی آدھی عمر ماں کے ہاتھ کا کھانا کھاکر اور باقی آدھی عمر بیوی کے ہاتھ کا کھانا کھاکر گزرجاتی ہے ۔ جو شوہر بیوی کے ہاتھ کا کھانا نہیں کھاتے ان کی عمر دراز ہوتی ہے اور جو کھاتے ہیں انہیں عمر دراز لگتی ہے۔ بیوی کی تعریفیں کرنا ہر شوہر کا نکاحی فریضہ ہے۔ یہ واحد کام ہے جس میں بولا گیا جھوٹ بھی قابلِ معافی ہے ۔ ایک نکاح خواں بتارہے تھے کہ ہمارے کام میں برکت اسی وجہ سے ہے کہ مرد بیویوں کی کم اور کنواریوں کی زیادہ تعریف کرتے ہیں۔ غیر شادی شدہ لڑکی کی تعریف کرنے سے وہ آئینہ دیکھنے اور نکاح کرنے پر مائل ہوتی ہے۔ مغرب اور مشرق میں یہ فرق ہے کہ ہمارے ہاں بچے صرف بیویاں پیدا کرتی ہیں جبکہ مغرب میں یہ کارگذاری محبوبہ بھی انجام دیتی ہے۔ ہر بچہ شوہر اور بیوی کے درمیان ایک اینٹ کی طرح ہوتا ہے اور پاکستانیوں کو دیوار کھڑی کرنے کا بڑا شوق ہوتا ہے۔ ہمارے ہاں آگ بُجھ جاتی ہے مگر اینٹیں پکتی رہتی ہیں۔

بیوی اور گاڑی جتنی بھی پرانی ہو اگر مصیبت کھڑی نہیں کرتی تو زیرِ استعمال رہتی ہے۔ آج کے دور کی بیویاں دفتر بھی جاتی ہیں۔ دفتر جانے کا فائدہ یہ ہوتا ہے کہ گھر پر سالی اور چہرے پر خوشحالی نظر آتی ہے۔ بیوی کی بہنیں اگر خوبصورت ہوں تو سسرال کی وزٹ کا دورانیہ بڑھ جاتا ہے۔ ساس ماں جیسی لگتی ہے اور سسرال کو دئیے جانے والے تحفوں پر شوہر کا دل رنجیدہ نہیں ہوتا۔

جس شخص کی ایک سے زائد بیویاں ہوں اس کی صحت اور بینک بیلنس کی صورتحال نازک ہی رہتی ہے۔ اس کا بیشتر وقت ناز برداری اور نہانے میں گزرتا ہے۔ ہمارے دوست علیل جبران کو میں نے جب بھی دیکھا وہ بیگم کا ہاتھ تھامے رہتے ہیں۔ ہم نے ان کی اس مثالی محبت کا تذکرہ رشک آمیز لہجے میں ان کے سامنے کیا تو وہ بولے “اس میں محبت کا عنصر کم اور بچت کا پہلو زیادہ ہے؟” ہم نے پوچھا “وہ کیسے؟” بولے “ہاتھ نہ تھامو تو وہ فورا ” شاپنگ کے لیے بھاگتی ہے۔”

غیر شادی شدہ ہمیشہ شادی شدہ سے دانا ہوتا ہے جبھی تو وہ غیر شادی شدہ ہوتا ہے۔ شادی کرنا اور درویشی اختیار کرنا ایک جیسی بات ہے ۔ دونوں کو دنیا ترک کرنی پڑتی ہے ، ایک کو اللہ مل جاتا ہے، دوسرے کو بیوی ۔ ایک دانا کا کہنا ہے کہ شادی ایک ایسی جنگ ہے جس میں آپ کو اپنے دشمن کے ساتھ سونا پڑتا ہے ۔ محبوبہ کی محبت میں آنکھیں بند رہتی ہیں مگر بیوی پاکر آنکھیں کھل جاتی ہیں ۔ شادی کے پہلے سال بیوی محبوبہ لگتی ہے، دوسرے سال سے چوتھے سال تک دوست اور اس کے بعد تا زندگی وہ دشمن جسے آپ چھوڑ بھی نہیں سکتے۔

علیل جبران کہتے ہیں شوہر کی حیثیت جسم میں سر کی طرح ہوتی ہے اور بیوی گردن ہوتی ہے جو سر کو جس جانب چاہے موڑ سکتی ہے۔ بیوی پر جتنا خرچ کیا جائے یا لکھا جائے کم ہے۔ کچھ لوگ شادی کے بعد ناول نگار بن جاتے ہیں یا پھر شاعر، اسے کہتے ہیں “بیوی سے فرار۔”

  مرزا یاسین بیگ شادی شدہ ہونے کے باوجود مزاح اور صحافت کو اپنی محبوبہ سمجھتے ہیں اور گلے سے لگائے رکھتے ہیں ۔ کینیڈا اور پاکستان کی دوہری شہریت ان کی تحریروں سے جھلکتی ہے۔

Dress: sister’s Zara | Shoes: Christian Louboutin, similar | Sunnies: Versace, similar | Bracelets: Ann Taylor – seriously want this one, Stella & Dot, Madewell, similar | Watch: Kate Spade | Rings: Nicola Chong Jewellery & GLAMROCKS design

So I did it. I bit the bullet. Pulled the trigger. Saved like there was no tomorrow…and got them. And let me tell you.

I L O V E T H E M.

Almost so much that it would seem pathetic. I mean they are shoes right. Just shoes. Shoes with a killer heel, an amazing cut out by the toes, a colour I can wear almost everyday, and that red. Oh my that perfect shade of RED.

Do they hurt your feet. Of course- when I wear them for an entire night. But so do my $20 shoes, and they hurt so much more. I love how my feet look in them, how slender my legs look. Ok maybe this is a love love relationship with my shoes – I know I’ll stop.

But so I wore them to the wedding we went to, and then this outfit to a bridal shower yesterday. With the sister’s brand spanking new Zara dress which is now sold out- yes-Great purchase!

Now onto bigger things…should I get them in black? Just kidding…I may wait a bit. But man, hot shoes can seriously make a girl feel special.

Happy Monday!

Take a moment and think about what success means to you. Is it a finite, measurable thing? Does it have a face or a name? Is it a color? How does it show up? Is it related to a part of your body? Where does your awareness go? What emotions do you think of when you hear “Success!”? What most recent memory do you have where you felt successful or proud?

For me, success is getting 20 minutes of writing done in the morning, watching sunlight spill over the hill and hit the building across the street through the open window. It is a feeling that pops up spontaneously and suddenly, like a pounding hammer hitting a high striker all the way to the top. “Ding Ding!” Real success feels like a solid force. It stands confidently behind you, letting you know it’s got your back. “Keep going” it says. It gives you a nudge as you continue down your path day after day, or sometimes a shove when it’s time to get your ass in gear.

“Ding Ding!” Someone did something right here.

Feelings of success can be stirred up, coaxed, and encouraged through simple reflection. I find that I feel much more successful around my goals or whatever is going on when I sit down and reflect on it’s role in my life. This is why I am working on documenting my 27 x 27 goals month by month. The writing component has become significantly more important and has a huge influence on the goals themselves. For example, last month I felt pathetic about the list of things I was trying to accomplish everyday. However, writing about the attempt allows me to see that (1) I was taking on way too much, and (2) that what actually feels more important is reflecting about why I want to accomplish these tasks. It is the process of writing it down, and simply getting in the habit of recording more information in a straightforward way that is important to me.

Gimme dem lemons!

Success is a feeling and it is animated in my head. It’s getting the job at San Francisco CrossFit (SFCF) and feeling genuine as I jump up and down and flail my limbs. It’s being told what a valuable person I am to have at Suppenküche and my lips stretching into a smile. It’s getting hugs and high fives. The feeling of success keeps me up at night, like a 7 year old anticipating the tooth fairy. It is the kind of happiness that is persistent and contagious. It is like an ocean wave hitting me and being carried along with the flow. I swell with pride. I stop giving a shit about what others think and I want to sing and dance my way through the elation.  Success feels like resolute satisfaction. It is like a breath of fresh air, a sense of clarity that says “Yes, this feels right”.

P.S. Take a moment to check out the Urban Dictionaries definitions of success, it may inspire some new perspectives and ways of looking at your own life. Or just give you a good laugh.

There is just something about IKEA furniture being styled by the Sweds themselves make it look so much better!

For this award we have to make a speech and some nominations. I will update this post later in the week with both!