Its almost as though the meaning of what I try to say, or what I thought I was saying, is lost in the transfer of communication from the words in my brain to the words that come out of my mouth and that of which is understood by the “audience”. For the longest time I was so embarrassed and regretful of things I would say…Not that they were RUDE or Mean, but rather, seemed thoughtless or elementary…. or as people would often say…

“A Blonde Moment”

One particular moment that sticks out in my mind, was at my OWN wedding… YES, that’s right, MY OWN WEDDING! (and unfortunately not at our wedding in Spain where I could blame it on mis-interpretation, but our wedding here in the United States)… To fully understand, let me back track just a moment.

For those who don’t know, the years prior to my wedding were some of the most difficult times for my family, as we stood by my father as he battled with Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. To say the least, I was an emotional wreck. As the ultimate daddy’s girl – the kind that will look you in the eyes today, just the same as she did when she was 5 and say, “My daddy’s stronger than your daddy,” and honestly believe it – it was only through my faith and seeing the unbelievable faith of my father over the years that I was able to keep it together whatsoever. However, there was another factor in my life’s equation that God brought into the picture, only months prior to finding out my father had cancer… and that was,  the man who is now my husband. People say, in times of trial you find out who you’re true friends are… for me, it was in times of trial that God showed me who was truly the right person to fit into my life as my other half… and believe me, I didn’t make it easy for anyone to  “fit” into my life during that time. However, my husband, who as much as it kills me to say this, DOES actually LISTEN  (HALF THE TIME) to things that come out of my mouth. I remember having a conversation with friends where I simply stated, “The only way I would ever get married is if my father was there to walk me down the aisle.” … This statement was never meant to “pressure” my boyfriend, in fact, if anything it was almost the complete opposite… like a warning… “marriage isn’t an option.”  In my mind, we had only dated for several months and although we had become very close in a short matter of time, Marriage was something that required YEARS and YEARS of dating to even begin to enter the picture… and with what doctors had been telling us about my father… we didn’t have years and years… and therefore, Marriage was something I never needed to think about. EVER. See at that time, the doctors had given my father only months to live… so for me, I knew in my heart that God would take care of my father, no matter if he took him home or if he healed him, enabling him to continue his work here on Earth… but there were certain life “milestones” I just could never imagine doing without having my father there to be a part of. However, God’s plans … often times are very different than our own plans… and 100% of the time, BETTER than the plans we make for ourselves.

On the same day that my father was told by John Hopkins that his only option was to undergo a bone marrow transplant – my soon-to-be-husband, stood atop a mountain in Colorado asking for my hand in marriage, saying, “It is as important to me as it is to you, that your father be there to walk you down the aisle…” knowing in HIS heart, that marriage… a team… a true partnership of best friends… was precisely the reason he was brought into my life. It was in that moment that I truly felt what unconditional and self-less love was, and it was  for me… he hadn’t complained or grown tired amidst all my tears over my father’s battle, or grown annoyed from trips to the hospital… he had stuck by my side and said, “I know what is best for us…and what is best for us, is NOW… NOT wait another several years to get to “know” each other… I have known you at your worst and I love you… I can only imagine how great our love can at our best…”

Okay, so the above, was the story I was attempting to share at our wedding in the United States… however, what I actually shared, conveyed QUITE A DIFFERENT message!  It was horrible… H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E. As I was speaking it sounded so eloquent  and romantic in my head… but as the words came out, the story and POINT of my story sounded far-far different… or so I thought.

REGRET.

We’ve been married for almost two years and until recently I still agonized over that fretful “story.” As I began to reminisce about the beautiful details of our American wedding with my husband on a recent road trip, I brought up the “story” I had for so long regretted. At which my husband, looked at my with a completely crazy look on his face and said, “What are you talking about??  I was right there and You didn’t say anything that you should be embarrassed about.” …

There it was. Hit in the face with Reality.

Regret was robbing me of the beauty of my reality. Over the past two years, I had reverted back to my past failures as a teenager and young adult… when I felt the need to prove my intelligence… prove that I wasn’t just another “BLONDE GIRL” …  all the while making  the “story” worse and worse in my mind, until I had let it completely consume the reality of what I actually said.

It occurred to me at that time, that when dealing with regret, we have 2 choices… either let it paralyze you or motivate you to do something greater and new – not bound from past disappointment or reaction but born anew of strength and empowerment.

At any moment, I could let go of the weight that I had been holding and allow myself to fully enjoy the beauty of my own reality.

When dealing with the weight of regret:

1. Use Regret as a Teaching Lesson.  When you do/say something that leaves you with those terrible feelings of regret, address it, forgive yourself and bounce back as quickly as you were knocked or knocked yourself down. Think about how empowering it is to see someone recover from a fall or an unfavorable situation without stressing over what they could have done differently
2. Stop dwelling on the Past and Focus your Mind on the things you can control. What you could have done, or should have done is irrelevant. Its in the past. As I said before, dwelling on your regret, simply robs you of the beauty of your true reality… the moment in which you are living in NOW and your future. Challenge yourself to overlook the lost possibilities and focus on the ones ahead.
3. Evaluate your relationships. Look around you and evaluate your friends and relationships. Those friends and loved ones around you who are real and true. Talk to them about your regret. We’re all human, and nothing brings us closer together than acknowledging our common struggles.
4. Give Yourself a Break.  Don’t Make a Mountain out of a Mole Hill. The more motivated of a person you are, inevitably the more critical and tough on yourself you will be. However, remember, you are still HUMAN! “Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.”

Are you dealing with the weight of Regret?

Don’t let ANYTHING…

ANYONE…

ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR OWN PAST FAILURES,

Rob You of the Beauty of Your Reality!

In those days the current ridicule of blondes was just starting primarily because of a few Hollywood actresses like Marilyn Monroe and Mae West. At the time I paid little or no attention to all of the blonde bashing that was slowly developing even after it turned into a national obsession.  It continues today as an easy way to get laughs by comedians and television hosts alike.

My likes and dislikes of women have dramatically changed over the years and my desire for blondes has lessened somewhat.  Was this craziness about blondes being dumb the cause of that change? Maybe. These days anyone can be a blonde at a moments notice and it sometimes seems there aren’t many real blondes left. It now requires us men to find out as soon as possible if  "the curtains really match the rug".  Unfortunately these days many women have opted for a much smaller rug and many times no rug at all.  It’s all very confusing for us former blonde men. That’s right, as a young man I was a natural blonde.

I have to admit many blondes do come across as being a little dense at times and others can use that as a means to disarm the men they deal with.  I now believe that being blonde is just a state of  mind and that any man or women becomes effected by the blonde myth the moment they adopt that as their hair color.  I’ve seen brunettes who’ve gone blonde and immediately seem to get more playful and less threatening.  They become easier to approach, more fun to be with, and at times more sexually inclined.  Hence the famous quote, “blonde’s have more fun”.

So the blonde thing has come full circle from it’s earliest days.  I find it interesting just how often some middle aged women go blonde after experiencing the onset of that famous middle age spread.  My blonde hair eventually turned light brown and I was safe from ridicule.  I didn’t notice any obvious personality change in myself and my life went on as usual.

As a former blonde I feel I have as much right as anyone  to have a little fun with the blonde thing.  I don’t think the blonde issue will ever be explained or understood and that’s fine with me.  Blondes that take offense can just change their hair color and become one of the majority.  I’m still looking for the real blondes who don’t care want people think and are standing proud.

I couldn’t write this posting without adding one of my favorite blonde jokes. I guess I’m just as bad as everyone else and I hope it brings a smile or smirk to your face.

Three women were about to be executed. One was a brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde. The guard brought the first woman, the brunette, forward and the executioner asked if she had any last requests. She said no and the executioner shouted: "… Ready … Aim … !! and suddenly the brunette yelled, "EARTHQUAKE!" Everyone was startled and looked around. She escaped.
So they brought in the redhead and asked if she had any last requests. She said no, and the executioner shouted: "… Ready … Aim …!! and suddenly the redhead yelled "TORNADO!" Everyone was startled and looked around. She escaped.
Well, by now, the blonde had it all figured out. They brought her forward and the executioner asked if she had any last requests. She said no and the executioner shouted: "… Ready … Aim … !! and the blonde yelled, "FIRE!"

So lame but still funny.  I hope all of you blondes out there can forgive me, I’m just a weak formerly blonde man.

Hi sweets

Hope you are all enjoying that summer is coming ! I got some great new summer items for my wardrobe and for our Turkish holiday which is soon approaching I Cant wait for a beautiful vacation with M our first alone together We are still waiting on how our future is going to look and I really do hope that I soon will be appel to share more with you. Well I Got this new Bikini from H&M how amazing is it?!! And some great summer shorts from french brand See you soon.

Have the best day.

Love HWC

]]> http://hungarianportrait.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/barbi-maid-and-nurse/ Thu, 16 May 2013 10:16:13 +0000 hungarianportrait http://hungarianportrait.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/barbi-maid-and-nurse/

Rating:

9 out of 10 (from 27 votes)

This temple and fro yo place are right by our hotel. They literally take yogurt and freeze it right in front of you, and mix in any fresh fruit you want ! ahh soo good!

Shirt: $3$ !! 99 bawt

Flowy Pants: $6$ (at the night bazaar in Chiang Mai if you buy more the one that discount it evan more. i think i got 4 pairs in all different colors )

they are so comfy and even though it’s like 90 degrees here i still ware them all the time!

Spikey Head Band: $3$ !! omg i may never leave this place <3

Today, as we were scootering down the street, she began telling me about a neighbor and her yellow hair. When I asked her what color hair she and I had, she replied blonde. I asked her what the difference between yellow and blonde, and she responded that her (preschool) class determined that yellow hair is not real and ladies paint their hair yellow to try to look sexy.

So before you go dying your hair yellow, just remember – three year olds are watching you.

Define:

 

These are the images I have chosen to submit for the Zine project. 

The first 3 are of the beautiful Ayo. I haven’t quite finished editing this images as I am having problems with the skin tone but I think that this is a fun shoot and reflects the summer we’re all dying for at the moment.

My next 2 images are of the beautiful Chloe from Fashion Design at Falmouth University. I have got 2 men to hold her and then edited all of them out APART from their arms. I was trying to create a rougher vibe in my work and wanted to challenge myself on Photoshop. Big thanks to Mark Agnew and Sam Cleggers for lending me their arms!

My last image is for the Yoga project that we did. The model is stunning Lucy and I love this image of her because she looks so flawless and breathe taking. I found it so easy to work with not only her but the designer Kat Gastburger. She was very clear on what she wanted and her concept was brilliant.

My favorite Tan Lines.

For all my blond friends and a couple red heads.

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