That’s me preparing for my dump, by the way.  What a place to put a portaloo!

So here are 20 of the decades worst flicks. I’ve chosen to do a list of 20 because I’m also doing a Top 20 list.For the sake of consistency, and all that bollocks.

I’ve set some rules for myself as the shortlist was triple this size. Importantly, I’ve avoided repeating anyone else’s list. So if it’s not on the list, it will most likely mean I chose to target something else. This only occurred about three or four times so it didn’t affect my list too greatly. And everything that needs to be said about Alien vs Predator: Requiem has already been said.

Also, I’ve chosen to only include movies I had a overwhelming hatred for. Not just a ‘that was shit’, but these movies make me want to kill puppies. Not that I have of course, but even thinking about these movies while doing the list has annoyed the shit out of me. That’s how evil these shitfests are.

So with further ado, away we go!

20. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

I call this flick the ‘relationship killer’. Well, maybe not relationship, but I went on a second date with a chick and we saw this piece of shit. Needless to say I never heard from her again. I blame the movie, not my good looks or winning personality. In theory, this is a cool idea. Bring together all the literary icons of the past couple of hundred years and have them join forces to defeat the ultimate evil adversary. Needless to say that theory proved incorrect. Jekyll and Hyde looked like a condom stuffed with potatoes, Sean Connerys stunt double should’ve received top billing and Richard Roxburgh hammed it up so much I had a craving for pork chops. I’ve not read Alan Moores funnybook, but if this is the result then count me out. One day someone will learn not to fucking adapt Alan Moore. The only barely watchable adaptation is ‘From Hell’.

19. Elizabethtown (2005)

I’d usually blame that effeminate prick Orlando Bloom for ruining a film, but in this case his Hugh Grant-channelling performance pales in comparison to the saccharine, cloying screenplay. Laurence Olivier couldn’t have played that character. A complete shitfest from start to finish. Something about a failed sneaker, an annoying stewardess, a dead father and a fucking musical journey through the heartland. Fuck me, I either like or love all of Cameron Crowe’s flicks, particularly ‘Say Anything’, but this could very well be a career killer.

18. Blood Diamond (2006)

You can see the screenplay being written by committee as you witness this travelogue of political points masquerading as an action flick. Leo “I wear a little beard when I want to look tough” DiCaprio’s worst performance this side of ‘The Man in the Iron Mask’. His shitty Saffa accent fades in and out, then somewhere along the way he learns that Saffa’s call each other ‘Bru’. So every subsequent line of dialogue is littered with it. It’s “Bru this” and “Bru that”. Eh Bru, don’t ya know that’s fucking annoying?. And the romance with the skeleton formerly known as Jennifer Connelly is forced garbage. Poor old Djimon Hounsou. He has made a career of giving great support in aid of dreck.

17. The Sweetest Thing (2002)

A wannabe ‘American Pie’ meets ‘There’s Something About Mary’ with the bad taste ramped up to 11, but the laughs on mute. This is where Cameron Diaz lost me. I thought she was okay before this. Like the dreadful ‘Charlies Angels’ flicks, the forced girl power camaraderie is embarrassing. Getting a dick piercing stuck on your tonsils? Taking a semen stained dress to the dry cleaner and your priest walks in? Chicks fondling one characters plastic tits in the bathroom of a nightclub? Pathetic.

16. The Holiday (2006)

Diaz again! And another effeminate prick from the UK. And tubby bastard Jack Black (who I do usually like). And the completely unlikeable Kate Winslett. Something about her just irritates me. I particularly hated Jude Law, who blubbers his way through the entire running time of this steaming load. What an absolute twat that bloke is.

15. Shrek the Third (2007)

I didn’t like Shrek very much. It was saved by Donkey. Shrek 2 stank even worse. Puss in Boots got me through it. But this piece of shit doesn’t even pretend to have a storyline that means anything. Shrek goes to get some dorky kid. Shrek brings him back. This is just such a lazy goddamn cashgrab. Completely devoid of any entertainment value. It’s a sickening experience.

14. Righteous Kill (2008)

Here you have two of the greatest actors in living memory, giving horrendous performances in a pathetically obvious and boring cop thriller. Honestly, what the were they thinking? Jon Avnet can go fuck himself. Not only did he direct this turkey, but he also directed ‘88 Minutes’ which is not on this list because I didn’t really want to double up on two shithouse thrillers starring the blow waved Pacino. I chose this one because it not only wastes De Niro and Pacino, it also wastes the gorgeous Carla Gugino.

13. The Spirit (2008)

Holy shit, if you haven’t seen this, I’m jealous. It’s just as bad as you’ve heard. It proves beyond a doubt that Frank Miller is a complete bag of cocks. It wants desperately to be ‘Sin City’ cool, but fails in every aspect. The scene where Samuel L. Jackson is dressed up as a Nazi has to be seen to be believed. And Miller must’ve thought it was brilliant because the fucking scene goes on forever! And why the fuck do these two keep fighting each other? Neither The Spirit nor Jacksons character can even get injured, yet they keep pounding on each other. It’s just tedious and idiotic. Fuck off Miller, you prick.

12. The Break-Up (2006)

Honestly, if I want to experience two hours of two people arguing, I’ll get back with my ex-girlfriend. What is this supposed to be? A comedy? Cause it sure ain’t funny. A drama? Cause who gives a shit about two selfish idiots without any redeeming factors? Motormouth Vaughn’s schtick is getting so old it’s beyond a joke. On an related note, if they ever do a bio of Quentin “I suffer from gigantism” Tarantino, I nominate Vaughn and his mellon head for the job.

11. My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)

Completely, utterly unfunny. Terrible performances. Unwatchable dreck. I barely remember it, thank christ. I just remember I hated it with the fire of a thousand suns.

10. Eagle Eye (2008)

Or as I like to call it, ‘Enemy of the I, Robot’. When will people learn? Shia La Fucking Beef is not an action hero! DJ Caruso, who has the most annoying name this side of McG, just apes other, more talented directors in every flick he does. This is absolute shit. I can immediately think of a way to vastly improve it. Switch around the roles. Move Rosario Dawson to the La Beef character, swap Billy Bob Thornton and Michelle Monaghan, and move Michael Chiklis to Dawson. And fuck La Beef right off. It would still be a shit, intelligence insulting exercise in mass marketing, but at the very least we’d get decent actors in the roles. And don’t have that fucking tacked on scene at the end when two people that we’ve just watched fot two hours and have zero chemistry and obviously dislike each other get bloody cosy. You didn’t earn that goddamn scene. Fuck off DJ.

9. The Love Guru (2008)

God Mike Myers is a mugging prick. Unless he makes Waynes World 3, he can fuck off back to Canada. No, scratch that. He can fuck off anyway. There is so much desperation in this flick it’s painful to watch. He stops every minute and a half to stare straight into camera and try to mug a chuckle out of you. There is a character in this, played by Sir Ben Kingsley, named Guru Tugginmypuda. Jesus christ. Even Alba looks embarrassed to be in this bowl movement.

8. The Village (2004)

This is the first M. Night I hated. I like Sixth Sense and Signs, and I love Unbreakable. I absolutely loathe this shitheap. The twist sucks. It’s boring. Brody as the tard is mind-bogglingly annoying, nutbar hairlip looks like he doesn’t want to be there at all (I don’t blame him) and the reason for living the way they do never really made any sense. I seriously think this would’ve been better if it was a straight up horror flick. The woods had real monsters and it really was the 1800’s or whenever it was supposed to be. As it stands, it’s not. And it set the trend for M. Night’s career trajectory.

7. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

I like Michael Bay movies. There, I said it. I have a unexplainable love of The Island. Maybe it’s Johannson’s lips. I don’t know. But it features the Bayhem speciality of shit rolling off the back of a truck into oncoming traffic. No one does it better. I kind of enjoyed the first Transformers flick. It was about as good as I could expect from a movie about giant, shape-shifting alien robots punching each other over the ownership of a rubix cube. But in their desperation to capitalise on the first flicks unlikely box office, they rushed this piece of shit into production without a script that makes a lick of sense. So much is crammed in to it, and nothing means anything. Nothing makes sense. Why are the robots organic? How does a robot simulate human flesh? Why build up a two and a half hour movie to have the ultimate showdown with the king of the Decepticons then have him get his ass kicked in about two minutes? Robots humping legs? A robot with a cane? Robots that vacuum sand like Megan Fox vacuumed cock to get the role in the first one? This is such a headache inducing experience. Hate is not a strong enough word

6. The Heartbreak Kid (2008)

The Farrelly Brothers have made three awesome comedies, Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin (my fav) and There’s Something About Mary. This pile of excrement has just one likeable character. Michelle Monaghan is too good for this shit. There’s a point early in the movie where Stillers at the wedding of his ex and in his speech her father says that Stiller’s character is an asshole. Too fucking right. His character is such a selfish dick that you actually feel sorry for his new wife! And she’s supposed to be the nightmare! Poor Malin Akerman and Monaghan. This is what up and coming actresses have to deal with in Hollywood. Either humiliated in loathsome “comedies” or running around dodging fireballs in shithouse action movies. Both deserve better.

5. John Q (2002)

Denzel is a great actor. He can elevate bad material to a watchable level. ‘The Bone Collector’ for example. But he stars in bad flicks ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I’m sick of it. This one-sided, manipulative liberal mouthpiece of a movie could’ve been written my Michael Moore. The “good guys” are made to be so sympathetic and the bad guys so emotionless and evil it’s a stomach churning watch. I remember taking a sickie off work and wondering what to do with my day. I decided I’d go down to the local cinema and check out a movie. And this is what I saw. It’s was so maddening that I wished a painful death on everyone involved.

4. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)

I hated the first Deuce Bigelow. I hate Rob Schneider. Why did I bother watching this shit? He goes to Amsterdam and becomes a man-whore for a bunch of fucking freaks. But in the first one, the freaks were tall, fat or legless. Most of the freaks in this one have no basis in reality. One has a dick on her nose for fucks sake! Schneider is an unfunny little prick and can die a horrible death for all I care.

3. Hannibal (2001)

Fuck Ridley Scott. Fuck Thomas Harris. Fuck Anthony Hopkins. Good on Jodie Foster. She’s the only one that had any sense beyond drooling over a mound of cash as they shit all over one of the greatest cinematic icons of the past 20 years. Fuck Harris doubly because he did it AGAIN with that prequel (which I never bothered watching). I almost walked out of this flick after 15 minutes. I could see the writing on the wall. But I’d paid my 10 bucks and rationalised that if I didn’t walk out on GI Jane (another horrendous Scott flick) I couldn’t justify walking out on anything. This has a brilliant cast, a director who can occasionally knock it out of the park and all the money in the world. It’s a complete and utter failure on every level. It’s not intelligent or involving like The Silence of The Lambs. It’s not atmospheric or exciting like Manhunter. It’s a cynical goddamn cashgrab and it’s a dirty great skidmark on the careers of everyone involved.

2. xXx (2002)

I honestly don’t think Vin Diesels made a flick I really like. His best effort by far is Pitch Black which was made infinitely better by having the balls to kill the chick right at the end. Rob Cohen is an awful, awful director. I liked Dragonheart at the time, but now if I’m afraid to watch it again. This braindead hunk of shit begins with a ‘move over James Bond’ scene that’s embarrassing, obvious and moronic. And it’s all downhill from there. It’s so desperate to be hip and cool. But in reality it’s sad, stupid and ugly. When will Hollywood learn that although the Czech Republic is a cheap place to shoot, unless you’re doing a flick about the dawn of time, import actors from elsewhere in Europe. Looking at these neanderthals for two hours is quite simply off-putting. And once you’ve seen the biggest neanderthal of them all ’shaking with rage’ while looking through x-ray goggles’, I dare say Prague won’t be high on your ‘must visit’ list.

1. Ocean’s Twelve (2004)

Here we have it. The worst movie of the decade. This piece of shit is so smug and condescending it’s infuriating. But I only merely hated it up until the point of the “have Julia Roberts pretend to be Julia Roberts” scene. That scene is THE biggest kick in the nuts while you’re down I’ve ever witnessed. IT’S NOT FUCKING CLEVER. It’s a pathetic act of desperation. There’s more mugging in this flick than the entire Mike Myers and Schneider back catalogue combined! Why is Brad Pitt eating in every fucking scene? It’s embarrassing how much back-slapping and “Wow, aren’t we funny and clever.” there is in this trash. And worst of all it wastes a fucking awesome cast. Finney, Cassel, Willis, Garcia, Izzard and Coltrane. Soderbergh is a pretentious little prick. He’s so far up himself his films reek of shit. The only one I think is brilliant is ‘Out of Sight’. I hated, loathed, despised this movie.

mbah surip telah tak gengdong lagi,,abiss bangun tidur ,tidur lagi ,,tapi tak bangun lagi? selamat tinggal mbah surip! tidur yang lelah, mimpi yang indah,,selamat jalan.1

Former Liberian President Charles Taylor has said he was duped by Nigeria into being arrested there in 2006.

Speaking at his war crimes trial in The Hague, he said Nigeria’s then-leader had reneged on a promise to let him leave the country freely.

He also claimed a plot involving the UK and the US led to his indictment.

Mr Taylor is accused of backing rebels, who committed widespread atrocities throughout the 1990s in Liberia’s neighbour Sierra Leone.

The war in Sierra Leone is depicted in the 2006 movie Blood Diamond with Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, and Jennifer Connelly.

He was living in exile in Nigeria in 2006 when US pressure to put him on trial for alleged war crimes increased.

Mr Taylor now says the president of Nigeria at the time, Olusegun Obasanjo – who is currently a United Nations peace envoy – told him lies that caused him to be arrested.

BBC News

Finally watched it…  And now I’m slightly depressed.  It puts job seeking/selection and cover letter writing in a new light.  Because I know I’m in a position to make a difference.  Everyone in North America is.  But me, in a slightly unique way, I think.

I’m basically thinking of the general principle behind Uncle Ben’s old wisdom to Peter Parker, “With great power comes great responsibility.”  But that’s too cliché.  Take that idea, and blend it more with, “We talk of the second coming [of Jesus Christ]; most of the world has never heard of the first” (Oswald J. Smith), and you’ve got a little bit more of what I’m feeling.

Sunset after the rain. View from my office, Freetown, Sierra Leone

When I was in Thailand I met a woman from Zimbabwe who was trying to convince me to return to Africa. “It’s in your heart,” she said. “I can see it in the way you dance, the way you greet and interact with your African colleagues, the way you talk about it – you obviously know Africa well and should be there.” At the time I simply responded that I was happy to be in Asia now.

I thought about what she said for a long time. Everywhere you visit or live has an impact on who you are, the ways in which you see the world, your approach to people and cultures. I realized at the time that Africa taught me many things, as Asia was also teaching me.

Africa taught me about the nature of struggle; it taught me how to develop a thick skin and endure whatever life or people throw at you. It taught me to be strong and hard. It taught me the value of community, family, and how focus on this contributes greatly to the quality of life in general.

Asia taught me gentleness. I learned how to be soft in approach, to take responsibility for my emotions and presence and how to approach everything and everyone with compassion, even-tempered response to everything that comes, and the true value of friendship.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to learn now that I’m back on the “Mother Continent” and living in Sierra Leone.

Culture shock – been there, done that.

Mom in Canmore Alberta

So far I’ve faced a massive culture shock – perhaps greater than I’ve ever felt or faced thus far.

I had five months in Canada before coming back to Africa which were incredible. I always enjoy going home as it gives me an opportunity to rest, recover from my journey and “lessons,” and work on a more spiritual side of myself. And as my mom says, “an opportunity to be taken care of” when my career and travels are so centred around taking care of others.

The culture shock has been mostly a result of the contrast between approaches to people. In Thailand (and Asia in general, it seems) you learn quickly to be soft and considerate at all times, but if and when pushed very far you can show a bit of your hard or firm side. Sierra Leone is the complete opposite: be tough and strong, and once you trust (if ever) you can show a softer side of yourself.

I have never been in a country with so much screaming and yelling. This is the first thing I noticed upon arrival. Men yell at women and at other men, women yell at their children, the children yell at each other and the dogs on the street, taxi drivers yell at everyone. It now seems like a weekly event – the woman across the street, sounding like a deeper-throated version of a chicken, screams at gawd-knows-whom every Saturday morning at around 8am and continues for at least 2 hours.

Good morning.

Additionally, as you can imagine, I’ve been thoroughly taken advantage of given my initial “soft” approach to people. Here, softness is considered a weakness – that you’re an easy target for constant harassment for money, Canadian citizenship (the most-desirable country of the year, I’ve heard via expats. Yippee.), sex, jobs, anything you may own or be wearing at the time. While I encountered a lot of this in the DRCongo, it is just simply more intense here. It all makes sense when you put it into context though.

Sierra Leone is third to last on the Human Development Index, meaning it is indeed amongst the poorest countries in the world. A colleague told me that there is a 60% unemployment rate, and the youth, while considered the future of the country, are so frustrated and disillusioned from lack of opportunity and sheer boredom that they end up going to the “dark side” in the end.

The view from the airplane, somewhere over Sierra Leone

Nation-wide psychosocial disorders.

After a particularly frustrating day this week I came home and re-watched the movie Blood Diamond – mostly in efforts to make historical and psychosocial sense of what I was seeing and encountering. I’ve now come to the perhaps obvious conclusion that the whole country is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (in combination with other issues, I’m sure). Symptoms of this include:

• re-experiencing original trauma(s), by means of flashbacks or nightmares;
• avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma;
• increased arousal, such as difficulty falling or staying asleep;
• anger;
• hyper-vigilance;
• significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (e.g. problems with work and/or relationships).

With a whole country limping (literally – see tortures inflicted during the 11-year civil war) towards the possibility of a better life, it’s not difficult to see why everyone is yelling.

Housing Crisis 2009 – or how Naphiri got screwed without even a kiss.

When I arrived I stayed in a small guesthouse called the Solar Hotel. I realized early on that the $90/night fee would very quickly eat through my rapidly dwindling funds (see: constant harassment for money) if I were to stay there long. As a chunky white girl alone in Africa, you can naturally assume that you’ll end up paying four times the price as everyone else so paying “international prices” for a hotel was just not an option when I was already paying so much for basic necessities like food and water.

I asked all my colleagues and new friends if they knew of longer-term (cheaper) places to move to. I spoke to a particular driver at work who seemed friendly and helpful. We’ll call him Murray for now. He vowed to try and help me out by asking around to his contacts as well. My direct supervisor invited me to her house one day where I met a lovely Sierra Leonean landlord, let’s call her Trudy, who had a spare flat in a complex in a nice area. I called Murray to help me to see the place. My first mistake: I told him that I trusted his judgement given that this is his country and he knows what to keep an eye out for when looking at homes.

We saw the place and I instantly fell in love. A two-bedroom furnished apartment with good water, electricity, freshly painted and tiled walls and floors, and a very accommodating landlord – all for under US$5,000/year (a miracle in this country, I assure you!) plus utilities. Murray didn’t say much but just looked around and simply nodded to everything I said regarding the place.

The next day he said he’d thought about it more and felt that UN security would not approve of it for me. He cited missing barbed wire at the back of the building and convinced me that the neighbourhood was actually quite sketchy. Murray went on about how my security and safety is absolutely paramount (ironic in the end). He said that I should look at a place he found for me as well – to keep an open mind and have options in the end.

I liked the idea of comparison shopping and so went to this new proposed place. Huge. 3-bedroom mansion with a giant paved backyard (house parties, anyone?!), boys’ quarters (i.e. small maid’s room off the back of the house), a gazebo in the garden (where the DJ booth would go, of course), and absolutely no furniture (including fridge, cook stove, or anything beyond a concrete floor and walls for that matter – well, AND the DJ’s gazebo, of course). I told him that the house was way too large for me and that I had originally had no plans for getting a roommate, never mind investing what little money I had left – from having to pay an entire year in advance – into basics like a bed or fridge. Thank gawd I bought a portable gas stove before I left Canada or I would have gone hungry for the first week (or have paid for inflated-price restaurant meals at least twice a day).

African plumbing made easy...

In the end I got caught up in Murray’s arguments that this was the best option I would ever find; the negotiations with the landlord that found me suddenly paying US$500 more than the original price for the year; and the whirlwind of bed shopping in a crowded market downtown (I’ve loathed public markets ever since getting mugged in one in Johannesburg).

Murray asked me at one point what I was doing with the boys’ quarters. I made a deal with him that if he dealt with the workmen who were required to repair the electricity, plumbing, doors, locks, etc, etc, etc ad nauseum issues that plagued this old mansion (with gawd knows what kind of history), he could have it for free. Besides, I told him, I would feel safer with the neighbours seeing that a man also lived on the premises. I trusted this guy so completely that I even lent him an expensive extra celphone I had when he said his was not working (don’t worry, I get it back in the end).

Trudy called one day, after a week of living in Hell Mansion, to ask why I didn’t call back to do a security assessment (requirement for UN staff) on her apartment. I told her the whole story and expressed my intense regret for not taking her lovely flat [insert sound of yelling workmen in my house in the background - here]. Then the truth came out. Apparently Murray returned to the flat the night we saw it to demand a commission for finding the place for me. Trudy basically told him to take a flying leap as it was my supervisor, a personal friend of Trudy’s, who had found the flat for me. My supervisor, who had been out of the country on business when all this was going on, was also told about Murray’s treachery.

I suddenly realized that I’d been taken for a ride – that Murray now had made a commission off of me, had a free place to stay, AND a free cellphone (which by this point he’d personalized and added new ring tones and photos – NOT standard practice for someone “borrowing” something).

Thank gawd I work with lawyers.

I managed to wiggle out of the existing lease for the mansion and am now fighting to get back some of the US$1000 deposit I put on it (am conceivably skeptical about its return). My flat at Trudy’s is spectacular and exactly what I wanted from the very beginning. I have a fridge, a soft comfy bed, gas cook stove, sofa set, and almost all the amenities of a flat in Canada. And no Murray or other roommates hanging around to figure out how to screw me further.

A home-made ladder (no, you couldn't pay me enough to get up on it!), Freetown

I love my home now.

My supervisor suggested after the incident to make a formal complaint against Murray, as the drivers are expected to be the “ambassadors” for the organization – helping us out-of-sorts newbies get our grounding and all the basics we need to live. I have a hard time, despite getting screwed, putting a Sierra Leonean out of a job, no matter how dubious his motives may be. I vowed to base my decision on writing a complaint on his reaction to the news of me moving out. To my surprise, he came bouncing into the office after the weekend talking about how great it was that I moved into Trudy’s and how I would be much happier there. I’m thinking he figured out that he was caught. I scrapped the complaint letter and am watching him carefully now. He gave me back the phone.

The right decision?

Admittedly, I took the job here primarily based on the the focus and projects, as well as the compensation. I’m on a 3-month consultancy contract and the organization really wants me to stay on for an additional year. Unfortunately an extension can be offered only at a ¼ of my consultancy pay and comes with a “demotion” in title on the CV under a different contract. Hmmm… As always I’m reading the air and the surroundings while staying open to the new, but I also have a hard time breaking commitments already made. I also like the focus of the work I have planned for next year: more edutainment initiatives around justice and sexual and gender-based violence. I’m planning on a trip back to Thailand at Christmas to get a bit of R&R, pampering, and some of my stuff I left in storage there. I’m hoping that regular trips to “sanity” outside of the country will help with keeping that soft gentle and loving side I worked so hard to develop in Chiang Mai.

I think that the hardest part of all this is simply feeling that as much as you crave it, you could give Sierra Leone the earth, moon, sun, and all the money in the world and it still would seem to make little difference.

My hopes are that I’ll start seeing more of the “positives” in the country. I’ve begun meditating regularly during the day to keep my stress and anger levels low – especially when waiting hours for transportation or dealing with yet another person trying to get my attention for somethingorother.

Breeeeeathe deeply…

Will do.

And if all else fails, I’ll just put my head out the window and scream really really loudly.

Maybe that way I’ll blend in.

For the longest time, we’ve been visiting various Pacific and Asian beach resorts with the hopes of running into one of those Japanese bikini idols. Actually since it never happened, meeting Ms Bikini-san, I’m usually just content to get away from it all for a few weeks in the tropics.

Bangtao Beach, Phuket, Thailand

We’ve been to locations from Phuket in Thailand to Palau, from The Philippines (Cebu) to Pattaya, and with assorted stops in Saipan, Guam, Bali, Hawaii, Okinawa, Cairns, and even Vietnam. We’ve discussed Art in Asia and Europe. We’ve talked about our favorite films, and some of our own travel destinations.

But you know which place hasn’t gotten any coverage in my columns? Africa is the answer. I’ve not set foot in the place. I mean none of it.  But lots of the world’s best film makers have. So….

… for today’s discussion let’s look at some recent and some not so recent movies set in and or about Africa. Let’s begin with a trio of recent titles. First will be Blood Diamond (2006) which was directed by Edward Zwick. Blood Diamond starring Leonardo DiCaprio as smuggler/adventurer Danny Archer,Jennifer Connelly as journalist Maddy Bowen, and Djimon Hounsou as Solomon Vandy, who found the diamond, is a thrilling tale of adventure and survival and a provocative thought-piece on conflict diamonds .

The opening title cards flash by:

Sierra Leone, 1999
Civil War rages for control of the diamond fields
Thousands have died and millions have become refugees
None of whom has ever seen a diamond.

Our three leads buck the odds in a race of survival. This picture isn’t so much about pretty images as opposed to a powerful story. With 5 Oscar nominations to its credit, it is very well worth your time and effort to see this movie.

Hotel Rwanda (2004), like Blood Diamond is about troubled times. Set in Rwanda in 1994, against a background of the genocide conducted by the Hutus against the Tutsi, a conflict which inflamed the country and left a million dead. One of the tag lines from the movie was:

When the world closed its eyes, he opened his arms

Don Cheadle, playing real life hotel manager Paul Rusesabagina, performed what can be best described as assuming the role of an Oskar Schindler, as he safely housed over 1200 refugees at the hotel, as the war raged around him. You will also note that Nick Nolte and Joaquin Phoenix round out the cast.

Our 3rd recent movie about Africa is Catch a Fire (2006). Set in the 1980’s in South Africa, a good man Patrick Chamusso played by American Derek Luke is accused of being a terrorist by the authorities, headed by Tim Robbins as the savage Inspector Nic Vos.

The Spark that Ignites Us, Unites Us

This film was marketed with an excellent tag-line (above). While it cannot be considered a box-office winner, I find that this movie was well meant and thoughtful.

Now let’s turn back the time machine. Cry the Beloved Country (1995) was before anything else a novel. Written by Alan Paton in 1948, South Africa at that time was putting its system of apartheid into place. Paton was one of the first voices to speak against this social injustice. The novel was first made into a movie in 1951 and starred Sidney Poitier and Canada Lee.

This 1995 remake starred James Earl Jones and Richard Harris in the story of two fathers; one a poor black minister and the other a well-to-do and powerful white settler. Both of these fathers faced the certainty that apartheid was the contributory factor that brought each of them to the worst news any parent wants to hear – the loss of a child.

At the halfway point of this article, let’s introduce A Dry White Season.This 1989 movie was adapted from the novel of the same name by author Andre Brink. Donald Sutherland portrays a South African school teacher, Ben du Toit, who considered himself insulated and separate from the often shocking system of apartheid. When his gardener’s son is picked up in a student demonstration in Soweto by the police, and treated brutally, followed by the disappearance of the gardener too, Ben feels he must take some action.

What Ben did not realize that by taking this public and opposing position, this would leave him alienated from his friends, his colleagues, and even his own family. Marlon Brando (above) does a turn as a lawyer hired by Ben. Susan Sarandon and Jurgen Prochnow (standing in the witness box above) round out the cast in this powerful story whose theme is: One cannot be free until all are free.

Continuing with the topic of apartheid, let’s have a look at one of the better films. Richard Attenborough directed the 1987 film Cry Freedom which starred Kevin Kline and Denzel Washington. This movie used as its source the real life stories of Donald Woods and Steve Biko.

Biko was an anti-apartheid activist and Woods was a Capetown editor who eventually brought his story to the rest of the world. Biko’s protests ultimately brought him death, and Woods and family had to leave their life in their home country to flee to England in order to publish the book.

While life in South Africa under apartheid was not fully realized in this film, nor was the film really about Biko’s efforts, or about the black perspective, it is still a moving story, and was considered a prestigious movie.

Dian Fossey was a naturalist and an anthropologist who studied the rare mountain gorillas. Her story brought to film in 1988 was called Gorillas in the Mist. Sigourney Weaver did not fight the Alien in this film. Instead she took on poachers and animal traders as Dian. The tag line of the movie was,

At the far ends of the earth she found a reason to live,

and a cause to fight for.

The film actually had Weaver as the star ably supported by Bryan Brown. But also starring were the gorillas themselves and the Rwanda locations. You’ll never forget this story of passion and obsession.

Our last film for this article was the most successful of this bunch. Directed by Sidney Pollack, Out of Africa was released on December 18, 1985. It garnered 7 Oscars including Best Picture, Best Direction, and Best Screenplay.  Meryl Streep, portraying Baroness Karen Blixen, was nominated for Best Actress.

This film was made from Blixen’s book, Out of Africa, written under her pseudonym, Isak Dinensen. The story is best described by this quote from film critic Roger Ebert’s review:

What we have here is an old-fashioned,
intelligent, thoughtful love story,
told with enough care and attention
that we really get involved in the
passions among the characters.

Karen Blixen left Denmark to marry her ex-lover’s brother in what was then called British East Africa. The time was 1915 just ahead of World War I. Today this country is known as Kenya. And it is a beautiful place. In fact, the land is so wonderfully filmed, that the images of Kenya, shown from the air, create an indelible image for the viewer.

Dinesen’s words also resonate. The book opens with:

I had a farm in Africa at the foot of the Ngong Hills…

And what of this memorable passage from the book articulated by Streep as Blixen:

If I know a song of Africa,
of the giraffe and the African
new moon lying on her back,
of the plows in the fields
and the sweaty faces of the
coffee pickers…
does Africa know a song of me?

It is no wonder that this film swept the Oscars. The lovely words, the fine acting and direction, the stunning images of East Africa itself make this a truly memorable movie.

And there you have it. Africa on screen for your perusal. Africa has been called the Dark Continent; it is both mysterious and magnificent. It’s issues and it’s glories will both amaze you as well as make you hopping mad. But those are just the inspirations you need to get you started.

I hope I’ve pointed you in the right direction so you may begin your cinematic travels to Africa. And I hope you’ve enjoyed this column. When you do watch these films, at a time of your own choosing and depending on what is available at your local DVD rental outlet, I’m sure you will remember reading about them here. Of course you can always stop by our website, The Arts, whenever you want. We have no borders. No need for a visa – a computer connected to the internet is all you need.

Naomi Watts

Jennifer Connelly

By Belinda Goldsmith – Reuters

Australian actress Naomi Watts, who starred in “The Ring,” “King Kong” and “Eastern Promises,” is the actress who provides the best return for a film studio, according to a list by Forbes.com.

With cash-strapped studios looking for return on their investments, Forbes.com compiled a list of the 10 actresses who provide the best bang for their buck.

They found actresses who commanded the highest prices, like Angelina Jolie who topped Forbes’ list of the best paid actresses after banking $27 million in a year, were outranked by those earning around $5 million and under for a film.

Watts, 41, topped the list after the analysis found she helped the boxoffice make an estimated $44 for every $1 she was paid for her last three major films.

Rachel McAdams

Jennifer Connelly, star of “”Blood Diamond” and “He’s Just Not That Into You,” came second with her films earning about $41 for each dollar she was paid and Rachel McAdams, of “The Notebook” and this year’s “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” came third with $30 for every $1 earned.

Fourth was Natalie Portman of the new “Star Wars” movies and “The Other Boleyn Girl” with her films making $28 for every $1 she was paid followed by Meryl Streep who made the top five due to the massive boxoffice success of last year’s “Mamma Mia,” earning $27 for every $1 paid.

Rounding out the 10 were Jennifer Aniston ($26 per $1) while films by Halle Berry, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway and Hilary Swank all made $23 for every dollar they earned.

Forbes.com said it compiled its list by looking at the 100 biggest stars in Hollywood. To qualify each actress had to have starred in at least three movies in the past five years that opened in more than 500 theatres.

They looked at the star’s estimated earnings, each movie’s estimated budget and boxoffice, DVD and television earnings to figure out an operating income for each movie.

Amazon Specials!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPCClXH__aw”>  Watched CSpan, Obama’s speech, many promises and hopes from my president. I never felt like I had a president before. But having seen him up close prior to his election I truly feel this man is doing all that is humanly possible to turn this murderous greedy and unjust globe around. The UN is to me a holy place and I am so glad that he has recommitted us,meaning US to working in and through and with the UN for peace and justice for all. Also inspiring is this video which is so beautiful narrated by Oscar nominated actor Djimon Hounsou. Check it out. Please.

I guess it’s fair to say that I never really paid attention to (or rather heard of ) Edward Zwick before seeing Blood Diamond.  The reason for that is simple: I hadn’t seen any of his films.  Well after seeing Blood Diamond (and immediately buying it on DVD) I made it a point to see what else this extraordinary director/writer/producer had to his credit…and I was not disappointed.  The Last Samurai, Glory, Legends of the Fall…wow, how could I have overlooked these films?  While I could go on about those great films, I’d like to get started by stating simply that Blood Diamond is one of my favorites.  It is an incredibly poignant, hard hitting, involving film that is, when all is said and done, one hell of a film.  Amazing that all that can be found in one movie, but it is.

Zwick directed this film to tell about the horrors (yes, horrors) associated with the diamond export from Sierra Leone.  To quote a line from Blood Diamond, this serves to sum up the message and direction of the film: “Throughout the history if Africa, whenever a substance of value is found, the locals die, in great number and in misery.  This was true of ivory, rubber, gold, oil, this is now true of diamonds“.  That one phrase (in addition to the entire opening scene) attempts to give the viewer (and world) and idea of how fragile is a society that is stuck in the middle of a civil war.  A war which serves so few and spares almost no one in the power struggle raging for control of those diamond fields.  The people so often hurt by these rebels, confusingly enough, are their own countrymen who are all but helpless in what is an ever worsening onslaught of pain and misery.  The main point of Blood Diamond is to speak the atrocities that come with the diamond trade in that part of the world, and to specifically address the need to boycott the rough diamond exports that help feed this wickedly hungering machine.  Not entirely a preachy documentary but this Hollywood take on real life facts hits as hard as I believe was intended by Zwick.

Much like Steven Soderbergh did with his film Traffic, Zwick tells us of a world we couldn’t even comprehend (let alone imagine) in places where most of us will never visit.  That I believe was the most important goal I believe he achieved.  How can we care about something we don’t know exists?  Well he made a riveting film that could not have been achieved in any other way (similar to the recent documentary The Cove) than by thrusting the viewer deep into the savagery that those in the middle almost consider it to be common place.

This film undeniably spoke to the world and Zwick, while calling attention to the this these historically tragic events, intensified his message by also bringing to light the unseen player who equally affected the people of Sierra Leone in addition to the rebels.  He illustrates the influence of the diamond giant Van De Kaap who are, to quote another line from the film “not financing the war but they’re in a position where it pays to keep it going“.  That’s deep, and almost nauseating…and worse than that, how can you stop something as large as the diamond industry?

In order to make this all work, Blood Diamond had some incredible, although I have to say unexpected, actors.  Also much like Soderbergh’s fine casting choices in the past, Zwick gave us DiCaprio, Hounsou, Connelly and Vosloo as actors we could attempt to get behind and take us through this foreign and all but unknown story.  I must say right off that I’ve never been a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio but despite my previous dislikes, I found him entirely entertaining and was moved by his acting.  Maybe it was the accent, maybe it was the way he really stepped up to play a man (where as before, his acting had him playing young men) but it worked for me.  Djimon Hounsou (who I’ve liked since Gladiator) again just shines but is unfortunately continuing to fall prey to some cinematic type casting (Amistad, Four Feathers, Gladiator).  Although to his credit, and why I don’t really mind that much, he still is able to give us incredible moving performances and steal the scene every time.  Jennifer Connelly, seeming to channel some of the talent that made her so riveting in A Beautiful Mind, could have made this a “throw away” role but her on screen conviction was almost as intense as Hounsou and she definitely carried her weight.  Lastly, everyone’s favorite accented heavy Arnold Vosloo (Hard Target, The Mummy, G.I. JOE) played his supporting role very well as the mercenary general but I thought we could have used a little more time with him.

As much as I think this was a strange mix of actors, I think the casting was right on and there was not one time during the movie where I found myself saying, “what is that person doing in the role?”.  Each cast member was a perfect fit.  It’s refreshing to see that because so many films seem to suffer from Hollywood casting the “flavor of the week”, or whoever is hot at the time just to get people in theaters…but I digress.

The action in Blood Diamond was unbelievably intense.  Although, you almost get acclimated to the violence on screen, nothing was more shocking than the depiction of the children abducted by the rebels for training as infantry.  This movie is just an example of the unscrupulous depths the rebels, who have nothing, will go to in order to get what they want.  On top of that, I was floored at the sub-plot of the film where Solomon Vandy’s son was turned against him as a way of getting the “Blood Diamond”.  The undertones of that were played off the complexities of the main story very well in a very heart felt way.  But the most devastating depiction in the whole film were not the diamond fields or the violence, but the aftermath of leaving almost an entire country of people as homeless refugees in their homeland left with nothing.

With any film involving such an impacting world issue, Oscar buzz is known to be closely involved.  However, as some films are solely as billed as “Oscar bait” and made to bring home and golden man, I believe this film was selflessly made to promote awareness, not sweep the Oscars.  After listening to the commentary I find that my assumption is backed up by Zwick himself and the 2 year process to make this amazing and impacting movie proves it.  I must commend Zwick for shining a light on something so poignant as the events depicted in the film as well as the incredible documentary on the second disc (which chronicles the path a diamond travels from the field to the market). At the end of this film, the most important thing I took from Zwick’s masterpiece, was not the story (wonderfully penned by Charles Leavitt btw) but the message, and that’s something you don’t get much of these days without getting a preachy film.  I am so glad I saw this film and will remember it with purpose.

G-S-T Seal of Approval:  GRANTED

never ending story yume wa yamanba~ lol that was plain random. hikaru~

well, i watched ‘Blood Diamond’ yesterday at home. (readers, please ignore the fact that its NC16 and that my 16th birthday is like somewhere at the end of the year.) Didnt manage to finish watching it though, due to me sensing a ‘calling’ from the music notes that I’ve neglected for like what, since the MYE? Yea. So the stuff below are gonna be my thoughts, not so much of spoilers though, so those people who are anti-spoilers can sleep soundly in their beds.(Zzzzzz *kick u!*)

The movie made me realise that the world is rather corrupted. People are always feeding off each other in one way or another. And what I mean is perfectly clear in that movie, where Archer (the main character) goes around smuggling diamonds from the people who spend like what hours looking for it. And this feeding off each other has also been done unintentionally, where the female journalist (i forgot her name) starts to write an article, finally abandoning it when she realises that she is just using other people’s plight to gain sympathy.

And it all boils down to “For the greater good” again isnt it? True, good can come out of that article, where more people recognise that they are really in need of more help; that the current situation is still as dire as before…the world is such a complicated place. I reckon the grey areas are so much more than the plain black or white one.

But that’s what that makes life interesting isn’t it. (LOL i sound sadistic here)

However…there is a rather sad scene in the movie, where children are forced to take up a gun and kill. All of them are made to believe that they are fighting for a worthy cause. A cause such that they would lose their innocents, take up arms and…commit murder. My message to such people : Please, just go die, for all the world cares. On the other hand, that seems harsh. They might have a chance to repent and turn over a new leaf. They might be taught the same corrupted principles from young. (now you know why childhood education is so important).

Well, these are just my thoughts. Dont flame me because of them

~ miharu

The first of two parts of the documentary: Sierra Leone’s Forgotten Generation- is now available to watch online:

Sierra Leone’s Forgotten Generation – Part 1 from Faolan Jones on Vimeo.

Click on this picture to play Part 1

Play Part 2

During my last visit to Sierra Leone I discovered some amazing grass root projects which are making a real difference.
AUCAYD (Artists United for Children and Youth Development) was set up by a group of young lads who wanted to use their creative talent to inspire and educate marginalised and vulnerable young people. Their based in an area which used to be notorious for drugs, prostitution and crime. After the war thousands of rebel soldiers were disarmed, many of them children who had been forced to fight. Many of them were unable to return to their communities because of the stigma of being a rebel, so many ended up sleeping on the streets taking drugs and getting involved in crime. AUCAYD started running art, film and music projects on the streets and their work has had an amazing impact and the lives of many young people have been transformed.

Check out AUCAYD’s website

Check out their promo video

Luxson Jay: Musician and founding members of AUCAYD

Street Unit: A hip-hop group made up of former combatants

Photo’s courtesy of AUCAYD

Could Cocaine use in UK lead to war in Africa?

Young people in the UK are now Europe’s biggest consumers of cocaine, and up until a few years ago I was one of them. But with trafficking networks infiltrating African governments what kind of monster are we feeding?

Cocaine is a multi billion pound business, and Europe is one of its most profitable markets, with around four million users a year. This may not seem much, but with European user paying anywhere from 45 to 75 Euros per a gram, were spending billions on cocaine every year, which means big business for criminal and terrorist elements operating within the lucrative trafficking networks.

Cocaine trafficking has left a legacy of violence and corruption wherever it goes. Colombia, the world’s biggest producer, has endured over fifty years of civil war, violence and chaos and in Mexico the war between trafficker and the government is driving the country close to collapse. What is less known is the destabilizing effect Cocaine trafficking is having on West Africa, a region emerging from a decade of conflict, through which a quarter of Europe’s supply is now thought to flow.

In order to get the product from the source (Colombia, Peru, Bolivia) to the market (Europe) traffickers have to use transit points through which they can by-pass security and enter through the back door. Traditionally the Caribbean and Nigeria have been the main points of transit, but increased security has forced traffickers to search for other options, and the West coast of Africa has emerged as the perfect candidate.

Strategically situated between South America and Europe, West Africa has miles of unguarded coastline, busy unregulated coastal traffic and a well-worn route through Morocco into Spain. Having emerged from over a decade of internal and cross border conflict many countries in the region are desperately poor, and their governments highly corruptible. In an area of the world were most people live on a dollar or less a day, drugs money goes a long way enabling traffickers to infiltrate the highest levels of government and law enforcement in various countries in the region, dramatically boosting the potential for renewed instability.

Its believed that when the first package of cocaine washed up on shores of the tiny country of Guinea Bissau, the local fishermen used it to fertilize their crops, innocent to its worth. A few years on and the world fifth poorest nation has been labelled a ‘narco state’, with endemic corruption, crime and violence climaxing with the assassination of the countries president, and the head of the armed forces earlier this year.
In neighbouring Guinea the drug trade inspired a military coupe which exposed a web of drug trafficking activities in which the late-president, his family and numerous government and law enforcement officials were personally involved.
While in Sierra Leone, a plane carrying 40 million dollars worth of Cocaine from Venezuela was intercepted last year at the international airport; apparently one of many deliveries allowed to pass through the airport by corrupted security personnel.

Recovering Crack addict staying in the city of rest

The trade is also introducing local populations to the curse of crack cocaine, spawning a generation of addicts, funded through crime and prostitution. In Sierra Leone, Crack cocaine had already left behind a fearsome legacy. During the countries ten year civil war it was mixed with gunpowder and fed to young rebel recruits, many of them children, to induce a state of fearlessness and aggression. This aggression left thousands dead, mutilated and traumatized.

Pastor Ngobe, the founder of a drugs rehab in Sierra Leone called the City of Rest, was involved in the rehabilitation of combatants after the war ended in 2002. He now works closely with drug addicts and he’s worried of the growing influence of crack cocaine. Although crack is still too expensive for most people in Sierra Leone, Pastor Ngobe tells me that drug traffickers are increasingly paying in kind, making crack more accessible and affordable in impoverished communities. This is leading to increased consumption in a country already struggling from a crisis of marijuana abuse and drug induced psychosis. According to Dr Nahime the countries only psychiatrist eighty percent of his hospitals intakes are now due to drug induced psychosis, the product of a growing drug culture amongst the countries jobless and marginalized youth.

In the early 1990’s Sierra Leone was governed by a corrupt government who increasingly neglected the needs of the people, especially the youth. When the regime took away free education, an opportunist called Foday Sankoh used the anger and frustrations of a marginalized and disempowered generation to wage a campaign of terror and brutality on the very people he claimed to be liberating.
The nightmare that engulfed the country lasted for over ten years, sustained by the illicit trade of the countries diamonds. Now after five years of peace diamonds are instrumental to the countries post war recovery but there are fears that they are now being used as a tool for laundering drug money.

A diamond dealer (who wishes to remain anonymous) from the diamond rich region of Kono told me that South American cocaine traffickers often come to the region in to buy diamonds. He claimed that the cartels are using diamond mining as a cover to justify their presence in the country and that simultaneously they are using the stones to launder their money, a technique previously used by Hezbollah and reportedly Al Qaeda during the war in Sierra Leone.

Lansana Gberie wrote a report exposing the smuggling of diamonds by rebel forces and diamond companies during the war and has been working with British and Sierra Leonean Intelligence to gather research on drug trafficking in the region. He told me that he knew of all kinds of connections between illicit drugs and the informal currency trade, and although no research has been done on the subject he believes that it is ‘quite conceivable that drug smuggling could be linked to diamond smuggling’ in Sierra Leone. This connection is strengthened by the emergence of Lebanese cocaine trafficking networks with close links to Hezbollah. The large Lebanese community in West Africa also controls a large proportion of the region mineral sector, and according to Interpol, diamond and cocaine smuggling is being used to fund operations by Hezbollah and Al Qaeda, strengthening the link between cocaine trafficking and ‘terrorism’.

The endemic corruption and the links to terrorism have led the UN to label Cocaine the single biggest threat to security in West Africa, and its not hard to see why. In an impoverished region recovering from years of conflict, with millions of unemployed youth wondering the streets, the arrival of wealthy and dangerous criminal networks could undermine all the efforts that have been made to rebuild the region and secure a peaceful future for its people. But whose fault is this? Is it the South American drug cartels? The Lebanese trafficking networks? The people of West Africa? Or is it ours?

Check out City of Rest website

Bro Kabbie Fornah, councillor at the City of Rest chats with recovering drug addict.

The City of Rest is a drug’s and mental health rehabilitation centre run by a team of dedicated staff. Many of the staff were themselves drug addicts who were rehabilitated through the centre.

Pastor Ngobeh: Founder of City of Rest

Photos by Danny Hassall

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