Here’s one last Christmas post. Check out the video below to see Conor Oberst perform Blue Christmas with his dad. If that doesn’t bring a tear to an emo Omaha guy’s eye, I don’t know what will.

And Sufjan Stevens has at least six Christmas albums. Who knew? Well, besides Sufjan Stevens’ fans?

Blue Christmas – Bright Eyes

Come On! Let’s Boogey to the Elf – Sufjan Stevens

Run Rudolph Run – Rev. Horton Heat

It started when they put the “X” in “Xmas” and removing “Christ” from “Christmas.”

Groups such as the American Civil Liberties Union have tried getting Christmas practices banned from public buildings for political correctness.

There’s nothing politically correct about it.

Though the First Ammendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the Congress from establishing a national religion, but at the same time upholds the right to freedom of religion.

A 2007 survey by the Pew Research Center showed that Christians of different denominations (Protestantism, Roman Catholicism, Mormonism, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Orthodox Church and other) made up 78.5 per cent of the United States population, compared to 16.1 per cent of atheists or agnostics. Other religions were Judaism (1.7 per cent), Buddhism (0.7 per cent), Islam (0.6 per cent), Hinduism (0.4 per cent) and other (1.2 per cent).

The other religions only want recognition for their beliefs and respect the beliefs of others. But because Christians represent more than three-quarters of the U.S. population, they’ve become the target for anti-religion.

The U.S. was founded on Christian principles– “In God We Trust” is America’s national motto. Now the ACLU want to give equal attention to all religions by removing every “Christmas” from every Christmas tree, Christmas light, Christmas break, Christmas carol and Christmas song on every Christmas album.

Acknowledging others religious and cultural practices–even Festivus–is politically correct, but banning ones public practice and not any others is not.

The context in which “Merry Christmas” is used in the Bible is not as it is used commercially in advertising, as it is most recognize; our “White Christmas” (or sometimes a “Blue Christmas”) has become a green Christmas.

If that were taken away, riots would start because no one wants to give up their gifts or turkey or shopping. Consumers just don’t want “Christ” ruining their consumer Christmas.

Christians are not forcing their religious views upon others, but it would seem that way by how some athiests and agnostics react to symbols such as crosses. In 2006, one California man set himself on fire to protest the change of “Winter Break” to “Christmas Break” by the Kern High School District in Bakersfield.

From the Christian’s side, if Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution can be taught year-round in public schools, surely a nativity scene can be displayed at the city hall over the month of December.

What’s so offensive about “Merry Christmas?” Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!” John Lennon might have written “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” with an X in the title, but he still says “Christmas” when he sings it.

If we ban, “Merry Christmas,” will we ban, “Happy Hanukkah” too? Will cultural celebrations such as Kwanzaa be restricted?

Will translations of “Merry Christmas” such as “Joyeux Noël” or “Feliz Navidad” be banned as well?

“Happy Holidays” and “Seasons Greetings” is not the same. They need to get over it because it’s Christmas.

Elvis Presley – Blue Christmas”

Is this too high of a ranking?  Too low?  King fans will want to dismiss me completely because this song isn’t closer to the top of the countdown.  And I have friends who are into music that think Elvis is waaaaay overrated, and will call this pandering.  Me?  It’s right where it should be; one of the best xmas tunes done by a singular voice in rock and roll history.

Too judge Elvis on anything is to forsake the mythology we have heard about him over the past 30+ years, and instead just listen to him sing.  His Sun recording sessions built rock music’s road to becoming a cultural mainstream artform. He went on to record a lot of crap as well as a lot of underappreciated music that was skewed unfavorably by his earlier, groundbreaking output.  One of the things I love about this entry is the video is from the ‘68 Comeback Special, and we hear the King playing guitar and taking the song pretty seriously.  When he was serious, there were few better.  Iconic song, and should be on any playlist at Christmas.   Plus, one more reason to prove Adam Lambert is a pretender: he looks like a mutated Elvis from 1963.  Now that’s pandering.

I’m going to take a few days off to be with my wife, kids and grandkids. Until the 26th, thanks for a great year of conversation and have a Blue Christmas, courtesy of Elvis.

On Thursday night churches everywhere will be filled with happy people.  The lights will be on, the poinsettias arranged, the sweaters will be bright, the smiles will be wide.  People will gather in the pews and sing the traditional carols, hear the Christmas story as told by the Gospels of Luke and Matthew, and light candles.  Millions on Thursday night will rise and sing “Joy to the World.”

Many of those same people that will rise and sing on Thursday night will go to bed on Monday and face the longest night of the year in despair.  There will be many that lie down wondering, “Where is the joy?” 

The bills have not been paid, the credit debt is mounting, and work is hard to come by.  The night is so very long.

My mother died at this time of the year.  Christmas won’t be the same.  I miss her smile.  I miss her words of wisdom.  I miss her so much, and the night is so very long.

For the last 53 Christmases I have been with my husband.  He held me in his arms as we watched the children, then the grandhcildren, open their presents.  He made hot cocoa every Christmas morning.  I do not even know the recipe, and the night is so very long.

The onesies I got for Christmas last year are put in a box in the attic.  Never worn.  Never held.  I miss my child and I never held him in my arms, and the night is so very long.

The night can be so very long.  The night can be so very dark and cold. 

Some say that everything happens for a reason.  God is in control, and has a plan.  But what kind of God could plan such things?  Is this the God that I am supposd to celebrate?  Is this the God that I am supposed to worship?  How can I sing “Joy to the World,” when there is none in my own heart?

Christmas does not mean everything is okay.  Christmas did not end the sadness, the pain or the despair.  For those that are hurting at Christmas, I hope you know that you are not alone.  I do not offer you simple platitudes.  I do not offer you easy answers.  All I can offer you is my love.

I don’t think that everything happens for a reason.  I think there are terrible things that happen everyday that God did not plan. I also think that God gives us the power and the grace to overcome even the worst that can happen.  God gives us the chance to heal and be healed; to feed and be fed; to love and be loved.

The longest night can be so very long.  Christmas does not end the night, but it gives us hope for the dawn.

Aye they’re all at it. Bob Dylan with his Christmas album, Crikey, Hue and Cry have done a version of Two Little Boys!

So Ladies and Gentlemen, here is Bigrab with a bit of Elvis via his webcam.

We’ve recorded a lo-fi version of a song made famous by Elvis Presley for the Christmas season.

We do hope you enjoy it…click the post to watch.

The Graduate have posted a new track “Blue Christmas” to their myspace.

Although spectacular this blue house may be a bit much for your sense of style.  Fortunately there are many wonderful ways this season to share the blues with stylish ease!

Blue accents on the fire place really set this room apart for the Holiday Season!

White walls and white floor make the blue decorations pop!

Christmas design is not limited to the living room.  This bedroom is a great example !

Subtle touches of Christmas!

I love this table setting for Christmas !

Christmas bulbs look great in this glass vase!

This is a nice example of mixing different types of blue tones.

Its amazing the drama you can achieve with Christmas bulbs!

Blue Christmas decorations look great on a white , silver, blue or green tree!

Love this blue tree!

As you can see the possibilities are endless when it comes to blue and trees!

It all begins with an idea and the colors  you love !

Add some lights and tinsel and you’re half way there!!

So enjoy the blues this season!

And all the festive celebrations this Holiday Season!  Here’s to you and blue!!

Did I tell you I registered for a sort of seminar, maybe it’s a workshop, on how to get published? No, I probably didn’t. It’s being given by the Liberty State Writer’s Group in January. I made a vow to myself and to certain other people that it’s time for me to get back into the swing with some serious writing and after the falderal of the coming holidays, I am going to do just that. My time is sparse, but I’ve made it clear I need to really set aside some time and get my book finished. And going to this seminar thing will hopefully give me some new perspective into what I must be doing wrong for the last 5 years. Can you believe I still haven’t heard from that woman I contacted in August with a packet of my work and then with a follow-up email from the very beginning of October? I just don’t understand what harm there is in at least acknowledging my communications, even if it’s with a “go get bent”.

I read this story about a French court splitting the jackpot won by a woman, Marie-Helene Jarguel and a man, Francis Sune her gambling partner, an issue that has taken since March to get resolved. Monsieur Sune argued that he should be entitled to at least part of the over 2 million euros ($2.91 million) won after a bet of 50 euros because he is the one who pulled the lever. The court actually ruled in his favor to receive 20% of his partner’s winnings.

That reminds me of a sort of similar situation that happened to me in Atlantic City many years ago, back in the ‘70’s or maybe early 80’s after casinos first starting dotting the Jersey shoreline. It was  back when Bally’s had that awesome ice cream parlor on the top floor at the end of a very long escalator (I think it was Bally’s then). It was back when very few, if any, slot machines had seats. It was back when one had to carry rolled quarters and crack them open on the coin tray. We’re talking a while ago. I was standing at a slot machine, not doing very well, similar to my prowess 30 years hence and I had gone through roll after roll of quarters. At one point, when I had stooped to crack open another roll, this old woman creeps up from next to me from out of nowhere, drops a few coins into my machine, pulls the arm and ca-chink, out falls a handful of quarters that should have been mine, but the hand is quicker than the eye, especially when it’s at the end of some old fart’s decrepit arm, and by the time I realized what the “F” was going on, that scraggily hag swooped up her, rather, my winnings and took off like a shot. I wanted to go after her and beat the puddin’ out of her, but damn it, I didn’t.

Did you hear about the book that was returned to the New Bedford Public Library in Massachusetts that was 99 years overdue? No joke. “Facts I Ought To Know About The Government Of My Country” was taken out by Stanley Dudek’s mother in 1910 when she was studying up on becoming a citizen of the United States. Dudek came across the book when he was recently going through his late mother’s things returned the 115 year old book to the library. The fine of $361.35 (calculated using the 1910 rate of a penny a day for an overdue book) is being waived and the book will be displayed in a special collection.

You’re  short only when you stand next to someone taller.

Dinner last night was an international delight. Since it was Wednesday, it was time for the weekly “sauce” and the pasta I chose to put it on was little wagon wheels.  I bought this “product of Italy” as was markd on the bag, at the Chinese market the other afternoon and I discovered last night the cooking directions were in French. To cap off the meal, we each had a hunk of Polish cheesecake, which was a whipped cream smothered cheesecake, sitting atop what amounted to chocolate mousse-frosted black forest cake, whose cherries were infused with rum. Mmm…mmmm!  Thankfully Ariel chose to speak to me in English.

Today I’m in a Christmassy mood. Remember yesterday I was undecided? I got this video from a friend of mine and then after some exploring, (exploring, right, I clicked on the next thumbnail on Youtube, is what I did) I came across the second one which you’ll have to see by clicking on the orange play button.

                   Click here for the second video

Everyone here is looking forward to tonight’s gig at The Twisted Pepper, and because of the season that’s in it, we’ve been busying away (like elves, one could say) to make Christmas presents for everyone who comes along.

We’ve recorded a Christmas song- a cover of Elvis’ ‘Blue Christmas’, and are giving it away for free! Gig-goers will be getting the song on CD, along with a super-special-bonus track, but you can listen or download it right here.

Homepage viewers- click post title for links!

Download here.

Happy Christmas!

No comment required.

I’m not entirely sure what it is about Christmastime that brings out the morbid and horrible, but it never fails to splash about all over our radios every year. Macabre stories under thinly veiled, seemingly cheerful lyrics, and underlined by an eerily jolly melody. Is anyone else appalled by the tragic nature of our festive December tuneage? Or perhaps not entirely surprised by it, for the more cynical?

Baby It’s Cold Outside- Now, I’m not the first to classify this as a date rape song—not by far. But it certainly bears noting. I should also point out that the Ray Charles version of this is one of my favorite Christmas ditties (aside from the weird parts where he’s telling her how nice her eyes or hair look. How would Ray know? Clearly he’s been tipped off somehow, which makes me think it’s all so pre-meditated.) She certainly is struggling with this man, and even disturbingly asks, “Say, what’s in this drink?” at some point.  And most date-rape happens between people who know one another. Yeah. She’s toast. Horrible.

‘Zat You, Santa Claus- The unmistakable ramblings of a paranoid schizophrenic who can’t shake the idea that Santa is constantly watching him. Sound like a horror film? You bet.

All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth- Child abuse. This poor boy only wants his front teeth back, and he kinda wishes he hadn’t written asking Santa for another daddy at this point…

I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas- Blatant insanity.

Blue Christmas- Erectile dysfunction.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus- Adultery.

Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer- Need I say more? Alcoholism, greed, a deadly road accident. The heartbreak, and the humanity.

Do You Hear What I Hear- Deafness, blindness, and someone who feels completely comfortable lying to the deaf and blind. Monstrous behavior.

Frosty the Snowman- Complete disregard for the law, and rogue troublemaking. Not as disturbing as some of the other songs, but misdemeanors are crimes too, for crying out loud.

Do They Know It’s Christmas- This song is about poverty, which is sad enough; but moreover, the song is really about a Christian notion of religious intolerance. Hey folks, they can’t know it’s Christmas if they’re not Christians. Or rather, they can know it, but it’s irrelevant. Terrible. Preach your cult elsewhere, Bono! Release your smothering grip on international politics, David Bowie! That’s right, I’m talking to you, George Michael. I’m talking to you.

Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire- Nasal frostbite.

Santa Baby- Avarice, materialism, complete lack of formality when talking to a saint.

Let It Snow- Blizzard. All they have is popcorn before they die of starvation. Christ, if you live in a northern climate, can you not be more prepared? I ask you.

All I Want For Christmas Is You- Kidnapping right before the holidays.

Last Christmas­- is really its own tragedy. Wham, quit beating us. We’ll be good. We promise!

Up On the Housetop- Property damage.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer­- The misery of Rosacea.

The Holly and the Ivy- Rash.

Silver Bells- Rampant commercialism.

We Wish You a Merry Christmas- Gluttony and lack of manners.

12 Days of Christmas- The inability to satisfy one’s partner.

White Christmas- Racism!

It’s amazing that, through all this, we can still find the will to have ourselves a merry little whatever it is we celebrate. That being said, I hope you all can ignore the repulsive tales of yuletide gruesomeness blasting through your headphones this year and focus on the true message of the holidays. Love each other. And use protection. Now pass the egg nog.

Love,

The Holiday Spirit

“Blue Christmas” by John Gabriel

Originally uploaded by John Gabriel Funky Outsider

Free Pamphlet Publishing would like to join outsider artist John Gabriel in wishing everyone a very “Blue Xmas!”

With everyone in retail land setting up for Christmas around Veteran’s Day I refuse to start decorating until we’re well into December.

So here’s a holiday tune hopin’ you don’t have “A Blue Christmas.”

Thank you

Thank You very much!

‘Twas The Year He Took Office

by Dopey

’Twas the year he took office,
When all through the nation;
The upper class waited, for their white-collar castration.

The stock market tumbled for months in despair,
Soon the failing economy would also be there.
The feds were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of subsidies danced in their heads.
With the dollar falling down, and I with my salary cap,
I had not saved enough, and I was scared crap.

History was changing, so proud would be Martin Luther,
This was his dream, this was his future.
Into the middle did the upper class fall,
While Obama won the Peace Prize for nothing at all.

At the London G-20 meeting there arose such a clatter,
Rioters were clever as lumpy pancake batter.
So naïve were their signs and dimwitted chatter.
They shouted “Jobs Not Bombs!” and “Abolish Money!”
I loved when the police clubbed them… I thought it was funny.

The March melt-down pressed hard, we hit a new low.
And the economy still crumbling– watch out below,
Then what disturbing news came to pass;
The Sham-wow guy arrested after a prostitute kicked his ass.

Then without warning, so sudden and quick,
Celebrities started dropping like flies – it was sick.
More rapid than lightning, the headlines they came,
One after one, the news called them by name:

Farrah Fawcett!, Michael Jackson! and Billy Mays kicked the can.
Even washed-up  insignificant Ed Mcmahon.
Mister Rourke! Patrick Swayze! Johnny Fontaine and Ted!
Carradine’s a twisted mystery, but still – he’s dead.

The Feds ran the autos, but the consumer was tight,
So they printed cash for clunkers, to get through the night.
And out to the dealerships the undeserving flew;
To put themselves in new cars paid for by you.

In Business-101 we learn to pay down debt;
But we keep printing – no matter how bad things get.
No surprise, in a twinkling, the dollar’s value went poof!
While gold, silver and platinum all went through the roof!

Then the market reversed sharply, with a violent jerk,
And the hedgie’s got whip-sawed, despite all their work.
Since  sheep chased indexes like little scaredy cats;
We got to wear our Dow ten-thousand hats.

Madoff stole Billions, busted fudging his books,
Signaling to Main Street we’re nothing but crooks.
Such a sad untruth.  We are not all the same.
I hope he gets rammed playing the drop the soap game.

When insider knowledge leaked from the gap in his teeth,
Feds started with Raj then took down everyone beneath.
Insider tips spread from IBM, Intel and Polycom,
And in the wink of an eye, Galleon was Gone.

Tiger Woods shocked us all, always dipping his bone,
Night clubbers, porn stars, and some still unknown.
Including the Waffle House waitress that’s eleven he’s done.
Tiger must be tired of the old ‘hole in one’.

They own the autos and the lenders – they’re not dummies.
Just think what you’d buy if you could print money.
These leftist ideas keep coming up short,
Just look at Healthcare, it needs life support.
Unemployment – how it’s rising! No Jobs, how scary!
His smooth talks no longer working, people are wary.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of site,
“Happy Christmas to all, and …. Shit the teleprompter just went down!”

Merry Christmas,

Dopey

Readers who appreciated this should also enjoy my 2008 financial crisis recap – The Fed That Stole Christmas.

Be sure to read Part 1 to get numbers 11-25 on this list. And now…from the home office in the beautiful, snow covered hills of northcentral West Virginia…The Manofesto’s Top 10 Christmas Carols:

10 Winter Wonderland / Jingle Bells

Ok, so The Top 10 is going to have slightly more than 10 songs. Hey, if the Big 10 conference can get away with having 11 football teams then why should I be forced to stay within arbitrary boundaries?? Anyway, as we move into the upper echelon you will find that the ubiquitous quotient increases exponentially. In other words, now we’re getting to the songs that you sing while caroling and hear on the radio several times per day this time of year. That kind of repetitiveness would serve to drive many of us nuts most of the time, but personally my love for Christmas carols is such that I not only can endure hearing the same song a half dozen times a day for a few weeks, but I actually embrace it.

Jingle Bells is yet another “winter carol”, meaning it’s not actually a Christmas song. Seriously…listen to the lyrics. It never references Jesus, Santa, trees, decorations, gifts, or anything else even remotely associated with Christmas. What it does do is make schlepping around outside in bitter cold and snow sound like fun, which I suppose it would be in a horse drawn sled as opposed to a two ton motor vehicle with hundreds of bad drivers surrounding you and endangering your life. All of us, from the smallest child to the greyest head have probably sung Jingle Bells thousands of times. It’s a happy, upbeat song and that’s a good thing.

Winter Wonderland was written in a sanitarium. I bet you didn’t know that. But it’s not as bad as it sounds. In the 1930’s, when the song was written, sanitariums weren’t places for mental patients…they were simply long term care hospitals, commonly used for folks with tuberculosis. Anyway, another example of a winter song that was not specifically written in reference to Christmas, Winter Wonderland also makes looking outside and realizing that it’s cold and there’s a ton of snow on the ground seem like a positive thing. It describes snow as “glistening” and “a beautiful sight”. The words conspire, frolic, and Eskimo are utilized as well, and that’s impressive and unique. FYI, because I am here not only to entertain but to educate, Parson Brown would have been a preacher. I kind of like that term. Maybe I’ll start calling my minister Parson Rod.

9 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer / Frosty the Snowman

I realize I am in my late 30’s heading downhill toward 40. But darn it, I am fully in touch with my inner child and proud of it. Evidence that these two songs are the top two children’s’ Christmas songs can be found on your television, where two animated specials featuring Frosty and Rudolph have been annual traditions for over 40 years. Rudolph may be the second example in history where commerce and holiday wonder converged successfully not only on the balance sheet but in the hearts of the American public (leave me a comment on what you think was the first and we’ll see if we’re on the same wavelength). “The most famous reindeer of all” was created by an ad executive for Montgomery Ward department store in 1939. The character grew from that man’s story into the song written by Johnny Marks and recorded by Gene Autry in 1949 into the famous Rankin/Bass animated special first shown on television in 1964. Frosty was likely created in an effort to ride the wave of success brought on by Rudolph, but that’s okay. If one thinks of it as a sequel atleast it’s a good sequel and not something awful like Jaws: The Revenge or Staying Alive. It’s also another game effort to make cold, snowy weather seem pleasant. The Autry version of Rudolph is still the best, but a very close second is a swingin’ cover by Dean Martin, in which he refers to the titular character as Rudy the Red-Beaked Reindeer. How cool is that?? I personally still like the Jimmy Durante version of Frosty used for the television special better than any cover I’ve ever heard.

8 Deck the Halls

Deck the Halls continues the tradition of taking a tune (in this case a Welsh song written in the 16^th century) and then creating appropriate lyrics for it a few hundred years later. A few random notes must be made about the song. “Gay apparel” meant a whole different thing when the words were written and has nothing to do with cross dressing or anything else in relation to sexual preferences. Jolly and merry are both used in the song, another example of painting a picture and telling us exactly how we, ideally, should feel during the Christmas season. And finally, as anyone who has watched the perennial holiday classic A Christmas Story can verify, Deck the Halls is the opening theme music as played by an unknown (atleast to me) but quite lovely brass ensemble. I love to hear this song sung by a choir or a group of carolers, and if it’s going to be played orchestrally it should be played in an old fashioned way, not too jazzed up with modern instruments and stylizations. One should be able to hear the trumpet, the trombone, and the saxophone.

7 Sleigh Ride

Sleigh Ride is the Christmas carol equivalent of Boise State or TCU…one doesn’t really expect to see it highly ranked but that lack of respect doesn’t make it any less worthy. Sleigh Ride is a winter carol not especially written for Christmas and has a lot of similarities both in structure and lyrical content with Jingle Bells and Winter Wonderland. The inaugural version was recorded by The Boston Pops in 1949, and they probably still do it best, though I am torn between their purely instrumental adaptation and those with words, such as Mel Torme and Harry Connick Jr. My best advice is to learn the words…which speak of friends, wintry fairy lands, a wonderland of snow, being nice & rosy and comfy cozy, a fireplace, watching chestnuts pop, coffee & pumpkin pie, and Currier & Ives…then sing along to the Boston Pops rendition.

6 Jingle Bell Rock / Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

The connection here is obvious…rock. Rock n’ roll swept the nation into a frenzy in the 1950’s, and these carols came along during the latter part of that decade. Both tunes are more what we would today call rockabilly or southern rock, which is probably why I like them so much. I’m a huge fan of bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd, Stray Cats, and ZZ Top, all of whom fall into that genre to some degree. Even Elvis Presley was really a rockabilly artist. Anyway, both of these songs are just a swingin’ good time. As Dick Clark might say, “they have a good beat, and they’re easy to dance to…I give them both a 10”. The original Bobby Helms version of Jingle Bell Rock is still the best, although The Brian Setzer Orchestra did a nice cover. The song is the opening theme for the original Lethal Weapon (one of the best action and Christmas movies of all time) played just before a girl jumps off the top of a high rise apartment building into the roof of a parked car. Brenda Lee did the best and most well known version of Rockin’, and no other cover really stands out as particularly notable. When I hear it I always think of the scene in Home Alone when the bumbling crooks come by what they think is an empty house only to see a happenin’ party going down, a party that is really only MacCaulay Culkin’s Kevin manipulating a bunch of inanimate objects (including a cardboard Michael Jordan).

5 Silent Night

Earlier I made reference to sitting in a candlelit church at midnight on Christmas Eve singing softly. This is the second tune which fits that motif. Silent Night is a German carol written in the early 19^th century by two Austrians. Supposedly the church organ was broken so the two men wrote the song specifically to be played on the guitar. That seems appropriate. Minimalism is the key when it comes to Silent Night. It doesn’t need to be loud, boisterous, or modern in any way. It needs to be simple, almost meditative. I find it perfectly acceptable to sing acapella, but also with just a single instrument, be it guitar, piano, saxophone, or trumpet. The words are quite possibly the most beautiful and eloquent description of the night Jesus was born ever written. I don’t think it is humanly possible for anyone with even an ounce of faith to not have something stir within them when they hear this song. Give me 24 hours with an atheist and an endless loop of Silent Night and I just might be able to accomplish something wonderful.

4 White Christmas

Here we go again with trying to make snow sound positive!! The question I have as a person who hates snow is…why do I get sucked in EVERY time?? Written in 1940 by famed composer Irving Berlin (who also wrote God Bless America, Steppin’ Out with My Baby, There’s No Business Like Show Business and hundreds of other songs), White Christmas was made famous by Bing Crosby, who sang it in the movie Holiday Inn. The song itself inspired another movie (though not a sequel) starring Crosby…you can guess the title. The lyrics provide a perfect mix of wistful nostalgia and old fashioned romantic charm. It’s actually a pretty simple tune, with only two different stanzas that are just repeated. It is the most popular Christmas carol in the world and some say it is the most popular song in history, Christmas or otherwise. Because money grubbing bean counters didn’t really start tracking such things until a decade or so after the song was released no one really knows for sure, but it’s a nice thought. It is certainly influential. Ask yourself this…have you ever hoped, even slightly, for a white Christmas?? Yes, you have…everybody has. The question, again, is why?? Why are we so hell bent on trekking around to various relatives’ houses on Christmas Day in bitter cold and on icy roads?? It makes no logical sense. Christmas would be much easier and more convenient if it were 60 degrees and sunny. But…it just wouldn’t be…right. I blame this song on that kind of insanity being ingrained in to us…this wonderful, beautiful, powerfully expressive song. Because of its popularity dozens…probably hundreds…of artists have covered it. Almost any singer, band, orchestra, or other assorted musical performer who has ever produced a Christmas album puts White Christmas on the playlist. But really, there is only one rendition that is worthy, and that is Crosby’s. That man could sing. Christmas simply isn’t Christmas without White Christmas, and we’re all the better for it.

3 The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire)

Let me get this off my chest right off the bat: I don’t really care for chestnuts. But look over the list so far…how many songs do I love that glorify snowy , cold, wintry weather all while I detest such conditions?? So who cares if I’d rather have a big ol’ hunk of chocolate cake than a bag of toasty chestnuts?? I have to admit though, Nat King Cole makes those chestnuts sound tasty. Written in 1944 during a heat wave by Mel Torme, the song began as a simple effort to “think cool”. I dig irony, and I dig descriptive. Several songs mentioned in this list paint a wonderful, cozy, fun, or nostalgic picture of the Christmas season, but none do it with the elegance and class of The Christmas Song. It talks about “yuletide carols being sung by a choir”, turkey, mistletoe, “tiny tots with their eyes all aglow”, Santa with his sleigh full of toys, and reindeer. It’s not a religious song, and it’s not a fun kids’ song…it’s sentimental without being sappy, lighthearted without being frivolous. The aforementioned Cole did the definitive version, and I tend not to stray far from it, though I do like Torme’s rendition alot. And as much as I hate to admit it, Kenny G does an exquisite instrumental on his saxophone. A piano and/or sax is essential for The Christmas Song, it’s just that kind of tune.

2 Blue Christmas

While White Christmas seems to get all the good PR, I give the nod to another color…blue. Country artist Ernest Tubb originally recorded the song in 1948, but a few years later The King (this time I mean Elvis, not Jesus) came along and the rest is history. I suppose Freud-types would love analyzing a single guy’s bromance with a Christmas carol about unrequited love, and that’s okay with me. It’s completely logical that a man in my situation would appreciate the subject matter, although there’s really no one that I am currently pining away for. Musically it’s a simple song, accompanied best on guitar. Elvis, despite his rockin’ reputation, was an exquisite singer with a sublime voice. I suppose that’s why no other cover quite lives up to his. There is one other version that I really like and it’s a bit off the beaten path. Some years ago a person calling themselves Seymour Swine did Blue Christmas as sung by Porky Pig. Folks, do yourself a favor…if you have not heard Blue Christmas by Porky Pig/Seymour Swine stop whatever you are doing and Google it right now. It is one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life. I have never been able to find out the story behind Seymour Swine and have never heard any other songs by that artist. I think Blue Christmas may have been recorded live in a radio station or something, as one of the funniest things about it is the guys laughing in the background…it makes the song that much funnier. I don’t know of another Christmas carol that evokes such opposite emotions depending upon who is doing the singing. It’s quite the odd dichotomy.

1 O Holy Night

As bumbling burglar Marv says to his partner Harry in Home Alone 2: Lost In New York…”I’ve reached the top!”. O Holy Night completes the triumvirate of songs best enjoyed in a candlelit church on Christmas Eve. Written in the mid-19^th century in France, it is an emotional account of the night Jesus was born. It refers to the “thrill of hope” as “the weary world rejoices”, a “world in sin and error pining”. It uses words like glorious, divine, beaming, and gleaming to describe that hope, the hope we have in our Savior, Jesus Christ. The song tells us exactly what Jesus is all about, that “He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger”, that “He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace”, and that “chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother, and in his name all oppression shall cease”. If you can’t get on fire for The Lord after reading those words there is something missing and you better get on your knees and search your soul! But…reading the words isn’t even a good substitute for hearing the song. When done right it is soft and tender before building into a powerful crescendo that fills the heart with emotion. Nat King Cole did a great cover in the 60’s, but he doesn’t have quite enough gas in the tank to pull off the climax as well as it should be done. For my money the best cover I’ve heard is probably Josh Groban’s from a few years ago. That dude has some pipes!! I am sure there are other good versions that I am not thinking of at the moment. At any rate, it’s a beautiful song that should be sung acapella or with very minimal instrumentation by a legitimately great singer, not someone who is good looking and can sing just enough to justify making a record (a description that unfortunately describes probably 75% of what you hear on the radio).

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. And God bless us everyone.

(Post 3 of a series of 4)

We’re in a little series on the origins of our Christmastime traditions. With the first post, I covered the subjects of the winter soltice and Saturnalia. With the second, I explained the effect the Roman emperor Constantine had upon the winter soltice and Saturnalia celebrations. With this third post, I’ll cover the origins of three major traditions.   

Tradition #1 is the name “Christmas” itself. The word comes from the Roman Catholic term “Christ’s Mass.” When you know this, it will come as no surprise that each Christmas Eve the Roman Catholics observe Mass, which is their version of the Lord’s Supper.

Tradition #2 is the Christmas tree. Long before the time of Christ, ancient Egyptians brought green palm branches into their homes on the shortest day of the year, the day of the winter solstice. To them, those green palm branches symbolized life. Centuries later the Romans decorated their homes with evergreen wreaths during the days of Saturnalia. The idea of a Christmas tree came out of these historical observances of the Egyptians and the Romans.

The first recorded reference to an actual Christmas tree comes from the 16^th century. At that time the families in Strasbourg, Germany are known to have decorated fir trees with colored paper, fruits, and sweets. In 1520, Martin Luther, who was German, saw the beauty of the stars twinkling through the evergreen trees outside his home and attempted to copy this beauty by placing lit candles on his Christmas tree. His neighbors soon followed suit.

The custom of the Christmas tree eventually spread through Europe. Records tell us that Prince Albert of Germany married Queen Victoria of England and set up a beautifully decorated tree in England’s Windsor Castle. The tree was decorated with candies, sugared fruits, and tiny wrapped gifts.

As for the United States, the custom was brought here by German soldiers and Hessian mercenaries who were paid to fight in the Revolutionary War. In 1804, U.S. soldiers stationed at Fort Dearborn, in what is now Chicago, hauled trees from the surrounding forests to their barracks at Christmastime. Once the custom had begun in America, it quickly spread.

In 1851, a man named Mark Carr hauled two ox sleds loaded with trees from the Catskills to the streets of New York and opened the nation’s first retail lot. In 1882, Edward Johnson, a partner of Thomas Edison, invented electric Christmas tree lights and hung the first string on his tree. This was safer than Martin Luther’s old idea about placing lit candles on Christmas trees. Franklin Pierce, America’s fourteenth president, was the first president to place a Christmas tree in the White House. Later on, in 1923, Calvin Coolidge began the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony, which is held every year on the White House lawn.

Tradition #3 is Santa Claus. In approximately 280 A.D., a man named Nicholas was born in Turkey. He was raised in a wealthy family and received a fine education. As a young man, he became a priest. This Nicholas was well known for his kindness and generosity. When his parents died, he even distributed his inheritance and property to the needy. Ultimately, Nicholas became the Bishop of Myra. To this day a feast is held on December 6th, the date of his death.

It is from the life and deeds of Saint Nicholas that the basics of the legend arose. The most famous story is about him making three secret visits to the home of a poor father of three daughters. On each of the first two visits, Nicholas threw a bag of gold through the window of the home. On the third visit, he threw the bag of gold down the chimney. As the story goes, the bag landed in a stocking that had been hung by the chimney to dry. The father used those three bags of gold as dowries to get his daughters married into good families. Because of this, over the course of time, people began to thank Saint Nicholas anytime they received an unexpected gift.

According to legend, Saint Nicholas’ cape was bright red and trimmed with white fur. This was the origin of what Santa wears. The name “Santa Claus” comes from “Sinter Klaas,” the Dutch name for Saint Nicholas. The Dutch were the ones who brought the story of Saint Nicholas (Santa Claus) to America.

Once in America, the legend began to take on new details. In 1809, Washington Irving wrote a story about children leaving stockings out for Saint Nicholas to fill. A few years later, in 1821, Irving wrote a book entitled “The Children’s Friend,” in which he said that Santa traveled by a sleigh that was pulled by reindeer. That was different from earlier versions of Santa’s story, which said that he traveled by wagon with the assistance of a magic white horse.

One year later, in 1822, a New Yorker named Clement C. Moore wrote “A Visit from St. Nicholas.” It began, “Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house…” That story inspired an artist named Thomas Mast to draw a cartoon of Santa for the popular magazine Harper’s Weekly. That cartoon depicted St. Nicholas as a jolly, fat man.

Actually, Santa is just one of the many areas in which America has added its own touches to Christmastime. In 1942, in the movie “Holiday Inn,” Bing Crosby first sang the song “White Christmas.” In 1946, Jimmy Stewart starred as George Bailey in “It’s A Wonderful Life.” In 1947, Twentieth Century Fox released “Miracle On 34^th Street.” In 1964, Elvis Pressley recorded the song “Blue Christmas.” Also in 1964, television gave us the cartoon classic “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” In 1965, it gave us “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” In 1966, it was “How The Grinch Stole Christmas.” In 1968, it was “The Little Drummer Boy.” In 1969, it was Frosty the Snowman. All of these elements and a vast assortment of others that we all know so well have become a part of the far-out, odd, colossal mix that we call the Christmas holiday.

For many of us, Christmas this year won’t be that romantic, picture-perfect flickering fireplace vignette.  That Christmas tree may still be sparkling brightly, even if only as a way of acknowledging Christmases past, but Christmas won’t be quite so festive.   Some of us are alone this year.  Some of us have a loved one in the military . . . some of us have lost our partners . . . some of us are miles away from the folks we want to be with during the Holidays.

Here are my favorite Blue Christmas songs, with homage and honorable notice to the original blue Christmas classic: Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas.”  Elvis didn’t sing the words lightly; he created a blue Christmas at Graceland, ensconcing everything from porch to plants in blue lights.

5.  I’ll Be Home for Christmas (Harry Connick, Jr) No one does wistful with more skill than Harry Connick, Jr. When Harry says he is gonna figure out how to get home for Christmas, I believe it, even if the tone of the song has always suggested it may not really happen. Curl up with this hunky NOLA native and a nice Merlot and maybe you will be able to appreciate that sometimes folks have good intentions . . . but seeing them this year will probably only be in your dreams.  Might as well dream along with Harry.

4.  Have Yourself  a Merry Little Christmas (Luther Vandross)  There are many possible renditions of this song to choose from, but since Vandross’s death, savoring his honey-filled promises that we will all be together “if the fates allow” has become even more poignant.  Luther, I am hanging that star on the highest bough–just for you.

3.  Where are You, Christmas? (Faith Hill)  With a beautiful orchestral arrangement as backup and piano as frontispiece to Faith Hill’s lovely voice as it soars above it all . . .  how can anyone not get a bit teary-eyed when she asks “Where are you Christmas? Where is the laughter you used to bring me?  Why  can’t I hear music play?” We feel her plight and identify with her as she moves towards the recognition that “my world is changing; I am rearranging.  Does that mean Christmas changes, too?”  In the end, we are reminded “The joy of Christmas stays here inside us.”  It’s a point well taken.  Life is as good as we strive to make it and a Christmas spent alone doesn’t have to be devoid of meaning–or joy, for that matter.

2.  Once Upon a December (Deanna Carter) Although this magical song never directly mentions Christmas, the almost-remembered past that Deanna tries to grasp is filled with symbols that exemplify Holiday celebrations.  The artfully arranged symphonic backup incorporates a Russian Balalaika, giving the piece a mysterious balladic aura suggesting days long past.  We, too, can see the “dancing bears, painted wings” and we also remember a time someone held us “safe and warm.” Like Deanna, we recall those “things my heart used to know, once upon a December.”   The imagery is so lovely, the music so evocative . . . it really is the perfect song for reminiscing about a happier time and place.

1. Miss You Most at Christmas Time (Mariah Carey) As the title suggests, this is a straight-up plaintive song, with no artifice attached.  It’s cold; Carolers sing in the distance; everyone is celebrating–except Mariah.  We don’t know who she is separated from–or why–and it doesn’t matter.

I gaze out the window this cold winter’s night at all of the twinkling lights.  Alone in the darkness, remembering when you were mine . . . Everybody’s smiling; the whole world is rejoicing, and everyone’s embracing–except for you and I.

In the springtime, those memories start to fade. With the April rain, through the summer days–till autumn’s leaves are gone–I get by without you, till the snow begins to fall . . . And then I miss you most at Christmas time. . .

A poignant song by anyone’s standards, if Mariah Carey had done nothing else in her career except write this song, it would have earned her a place of respect among lyricists/composers.  There simply could never be a more touching Blue Christmas song.

Scroll down! We have loaded up a virtual Nano with Blue Christmas songs and added a few other favorite Christmas tunes, as well.

Today’s Holiday Jam of the Day goes out to all the people who can’t be with the ones that they love this year. Although a myriad of artists have covered it since, including Bon Jovi, Billy Idol, Celine Dion, The Beach Boys, The Pretenders, and even Bright Eyes, Elvis sang it best back in 1957.

Elvis Presley- Blue Christmas:

-Melissa