Easter is celebrated very differently over here, people get dressed up in their best clothes and go and sing songs in odd little buildings. I’m not sure why but I will investigate further.

The pubs are unexpectedly empty.

Now, where did I put my ration book

Powdered milk is an unexpected treat, it’s not like milk as it’s a bit lighter but I really enjoy it.

I now need to revise my opinion of snoek and Barbara Castle.

Lovely lass ol’ Babs

Throw another pigs heart on the barbie, Sheila.

Robert’s gahl came over to sort us out an Easter barbie on Sunday and Monday. Sunday was pigs’ heart kebabs and Monday was pigs’ liver kebabs. They were both excellent, if a little similar.

Sad thing was that it highlighted the gender roles over here as she slaved away all day, marinating the meat, making rice and soup (stew) but she didn’t actually join us for the food that she had spent hours preparing.

Great for hide and seek as well

Seasonality is a big thing here, not just with fruit but also with goods. Out in Bo at the minute the grasses must be perfect for basket weaving and along the road you see people selling everything from straw handbags to Ali Baba baskets. All of those things are big up country and because of the lack of logistics if you have transport you can actually make good some money by buying them up in Bo and selling them down in Freetown.

A taste sensation

All of a sudden you see things being sold that you hadn’t seen before and then they go. Apples seem to be around at the minute but I traipsed around for half an hour looking for a coconut on Sunday without any success. It can be frustrating not being able to get what you want but it’s counterbalanced by how good things are when they are bang in season.

At the minute they are selling these long purple stems that look like they would be more at home in a pot pourri bowl than in a lunch box. They have little hairy purple balls on them which you peel to expose a white centre which has a sherbet like taste.

It’s like little sweets from nature.

A real Easter treat

Because it was Easter the government of Sierra Leone turned the electricity on for a little bit, I had an actual cold beer in the comfort of my own home.

The fat smiler

I haven’t seen the fat smiler for a bit and it’s a bit of a concern. I went over to enquire about the little pikin with the big smile but I’m really not sure that his family knew what I meant and I’m also fairly sure that they’re trying to get their eldest daughter to strike up a conversation with me every time I pass- a conversation that basically goes:

“Hello.”

“Hello”

“How are you?”

“No bad.”

Every day.

I would say that she’s about 14, which is probably marrying age out on Bo.

Område: Costa Blanca Nord
By: Benissa
Type: Leilighet
Basseng: Ja Privat
Senger: 2
Bad: 2
Bygg: 84
Terrasse: 6

37% rabatt!
Før: 175 000-235 000, -
Nå : fra 110.000 €

Leilighetene kommer med underjordisk parkering, bod og full tilgang til et flott svømmebasseng.

Ligger i utkanten av en historisk by, i kort gangavstand til alle lokale fasiliteter, inkludert et bredt utvalg av barer, restauranter, supermarkeder, bussholdeplass, drosjeholdeplass, legesenter og mer.

Plassert i en kommanderende posisjon, ser ned til frodige grønne daler til den klare blå Middelhavet. vi er stolte av å tilby et begrenset antall enheter, nå tilgjengelig med opptil 95% finansiering.

Du har valget mellom en Sydvendt eller østvendt leilighet. Du kan velge mellom en leilighet som er romslig med 2 soverom og 2 bad eller 3 roms penthouseleiligheter med panoramautsikt. Det er gangavstand til alle lokale fasiliteter og mindre enn en 10 minutters kjøretur til noen av de beste gylne strender i Costa Blanca.

Med enormt nedsatte priser og svært gunstige finans betingelser tilgjengelig har det aldri vært et bedre tidspunkt å kjøpe leilighet - enten det er som en investering, for en leieinntekt eller kun for deg og din familie til å nyte!

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Goodnight moon (Margaret Wise Brown): An all time favorite with so many kids, i discovered that both my twins love this book. It is easy to read, has no complex plot, fairly detailed illustrations and nice rhyme. What i like about it is that it turns the most banal stuff around us into a story! clocks and socks and kittens and mittens and moon and balloons! It is soothing to read and almost makes me think of a book version of actually shutting down windows, browsers and docs before turning off my comp. There is a comforting routine to the book..saying goodnight to things around before turning in for the night! And Sid loves the ‘old lady whispering hush’!

Night Night Little Pookie: This is a part of the Pookie series by Sandra Boynton. It is a very easy read, has a bit of dialogue where my kids pitch in…they love this part actually (it’s also there in the other pookie books we have). They also relate to some of the stuff that pookie does and at times they try to act a little like him! It’s a fun book!

Caillou Bath Time: Another book that my boys relate to very easily…it talks about Caillou playing in the park, getting dirty and then coming home to nice bath followed by bedtime. Just like Caillou, my boys like to take their ducks and toys into the tub and they like seeing him do that in the book.  

All three of these are wonderful books that we like to read quite regularly!

Not bad as a first guess. And in an ideal world where the basic functionality would be the same for all BOBJ tools such a tree could work indeed. But given the situation that even today – nearly ten year after the aquisition of Crystal by BO – support for universes is still not exactly the same in Webi, Crystal Reports and Xcelsius (aka Dashboards) and especilly the maturity of a tool or a sub component of it is vastly different, there is no clever way to tell you which tool to use for which purpose.

Although you can’t give a distinct answer to the question “which tool to use for what”, I’m convinced that the following rule of thumb will be valid in most situations and for a majority of organisations – the only assumption is that there is no limitation out of licensing. That means I assume you have a license for all or at least the most important frontend tools. The idea behind this rule is that a priority rating is more helpful than a feature or use case driven decision tree.

Here is my rule of thumb:

1. Try it with Web Intelligence
2. If Webi didn’t work, try it with Crystal Reports
3. If Crystal Reports didn’t work, try it with one of the “niche” tools

Let me share some thoughts about this priority list:

Why should we start with Web Intelligence? There are various reasons for this:

• From a features perspective Web Intelligence provides the most widest range in the BOBJ tool suite. You can use Webi for creating classical standard reports, you can use it for dashboard like applications (think about Input Controls and the ease of use regarding drilling – e.g. compared to Xcelsius…), you can use it for self-service reporting, you can use it as a data pump using XLSX export or interface to other applications using BI Web Services etc.
• From a maturity perspective it is one of the most stable and mature applications in the BOBJ world. I tell you this as an native “Crystal guy”. But whereas Crystal Reports 2011 runs stable the same way as it did for the last decade, the new Crystal Reports for Enterprise is just crap compared to both, the legacy CR and Webi.
• From a data source perspective: Webi is the only tool which fully supports all kind of Universe stuff. I’ve never heard of any limitation that Webi would not support something what you can do in a Universe (by design). But let me compare this to Crystal Reports: On one hand you can use only UNX universes in CR4Ent, on the other not all type of queries are supported. Crystal still has the limitation that if a universe query results in multiple SQL statements it fails to handle it as there is no local “micro cube” as with Webi. Of course this whole argument implies that we value a “common semantic layer” to be of high “added value” to an organization and therefore should be supported in its full scope. But there is even more to add: Webi handles not only multiple SQL result sets per query, it can also leverage multiple queries and easily join them. Although I’m not a friend of “merged dimensions”, there are many situations where this capability is the only work around to get the job done at the end of the day (and not three monthes later when the data finally arrived in the DWH…). No clever way to do this in Crystal Reports or Xcelsius directly.
• From an SAP BW perspective: Two or three years ago we had to decide for Crystal Reports often because of its better connectivity to SAP BW and all around it with hierarchy handling etc. These days are “passé”. My most recent experience with Webi using the BICS interface are very promising. Totally in contrast with CR4Ent which crashes regularly, even with the latest patch level.
• From a usability perspective: Although SAP currently tries to position Webi to be the tool where business users develop the reports, I think its usability is equivalently valubale for IT folks too. Report development is quick and straight forward – once you’ve got used to the ribbon style menues
• From an installation footprint perspective: Given the situation that SAP releases new patches nearly every third or four week, patching client installations is an nightmare. The more valuable are fully web based deployment scenarios. Therefore once again, Webi is the favorite.

Still, Web Intelligence has some short comings. That’s why you should evaluate Crystal Reports in a second instance:

• One of the major differentiators between Crystal Reports and all the other frontend tools is Conditional Formatting. As you may know Crystal Reports has a powerful formula language integrated. This formula language can be used to control neary every property you can set in Crystal Reports. This way you can implement what I call “guided interactivity” at its best: Let the end user choose some parameter values and use these values to control both, the data in the report but especially the layout too. The typical use here is: A customer wants to build 10 similar reports. They are not exactly same regarding the layout, but similar. For example, in Webi there is no straight forward way to show conditionally show or hide some parts of the report. In Crystal Reports such a thing is a no-brainer.
• Interactive / proactive Alerts: As of today, only Crystal Reports based alerts can be used to send an email notification if they are triggered.
• Export formats: Crystal Reports has a multitude of available export formats, including Word or XML, which aren’t available in any of the other tools.
• Hierarchical Grouping for relational data sources: Crystal Reports can dynamically resolve a Child-Id-to-Parent-Id relationship and apply calculations over such a hierarchy.

But before you choose Crystal Reports remember there are two versions of Crystal Reports: The legacy Crystal Reports 2011 and Crystal Reports for Enterprise. The first one is mature and stable, but does not contain new features introduced only to CR4Ent. On the other hand, CR4Ent is a de facto “1.x” product regarding its code maturity. For now I simply cannot recommend to use it as your major reporting tool without intensive testing of your own use cases in your environment. On the other hand – depending on your situation – the legacy Crystal Reports does not support UNX universes at all nor does it support UNV universes as you’d expect it coming from Webi.

What about all the other tools? I call them “niche tools”. This is due to the fact that all of them have quite a narrow scope of application compared to the “generalists” Webi and Crystal, let me name a few:

• SAP Visual Intelligence: This is a great tool for ad-hoc-analysis. But that’s it. No way (yet) to publish documents online (except over Explorer), schedule them or create more sophisticated standard reports.
• Explorer: Not the most mature product, especilly in the context of SAP BW and BWA as a datasouce… In general, Explorer is nice for “standard” visualizations. But have you ever tried to customize even basic elements of these charts? Or have you tried to add a simple table into an Exploration View? Or export an Exploration View as a whole? As of today these basic things seem to be impossible…
• Analysis, Edition for OLAP: Limited to OLAP data sources, no clever integration into scheduling, publishing etc.
• Analysis, Edition for Microsoft Office: Only BW support…
• Dashboards / Xcelsius: Limited capabilities in terms of data volume that can be processed, no straight forward way to realize drill downs, no common export formats, no full Universe support, no scheduling capabilities…
• Design Studio: Not usable for productive environements in the current version 1.0, and even for subsequent versions I’m very sceptical… In addition the scope of the tool is focused on BI App development which as such is clearly a niche.

This doesn’t mean that these tools are not valuable in the context of specific requirements. But assuming that there is a value in reducing the number of used and supported tools to a minimum, these tools should be chosen only after having evaluated Webi and Crystal beforehand. According to my experience chances are quite high that your requirements can be covered by one of these two tools.

What is your experience with tool selection? Would you agree with my rule of thumb? Anything I missed? Looking forward to reading your comments!

The Pulitzers are also awarded in the arts, of course, and because this site seems to have acquired a books theme of late, I might as well lead with the fiction prize, which went to Adam Johnson for “The Orphan Master’s Son.”

The citation for Johnson’s novel about the horrors of life in North Korea offers a sharp contrast to last year, when the Pulitzer folks decided not to award a fiction prize. It was the first time in 35 years that the board failed to select a fiction winner.

The 2013 winner, in the words of the publisher, “follows a young man’s journey through the icy waters, dark tunnels and eerie spy chambers of the world’s most mysterious dictatorship.”

The Pulitzer Prize for drama went to Ayad Ahktar’s “Disgraced,” which played at the Lincoln Center’s Claire Tow Theater. You can read more about the play and watch an excerpt from the performance here.

The citation for breaking news reporting went to the staff of the Denver Post for its coverage of the movie theater massacre in Aurora. The Denver Post was a finalist in the same category for its coverage of a wildfire that destroyed more than 300 homes. The other finalist was the Hartford Courant for its “complete and sensitive” coverage of the massacre in Newtown.

The New York Times won four Pulitzers yesterday, more than any other paper or website. The Pulitzer site includes information about all the winners and the finalists.

–30–

Mình vừa mới học được món bánh mặn này, dễ làm, đẹp mắt và ăn lại rất ngon, nên quyết định share lên đây cho mọi người. Bánh này có tên là Korokke, một lọai bánh rất phổ biến ở Nhật. Bánh vốn bắt nguồn từ nước Pháp và có tên là Croquette (Korokke thật ra là cách người Nhật phiên âm chữ Croquette). Tùy loại nhân bên trong mà bánh sẽ được gọi là Korokke gì, và hình dáng của bánh cũng rất đa dạng, tùy hỉ của người làm ra thôi.

Nguyên liệu: (chừng này mình làm được khoảng 16 viên)
- 500gr khoai tây bò băm
- 150gr thịt bò
- Bột panko (vụn bánh mì/bột cà mì)
- Bột mì
- 1 trứng gà đánh tan
- Hành tím băm nhuyễn (không bắt buộc), gia vị

1. Khoai tây luộc chín, nghiền thật nhuyễn ra.

2. Thịt bò trộn với hành tím + muối + tiêu + đường, xào chín với lửa lớn để tránh thịt bị ra nước.

3. Khoai tây nghiền vo thành viên nhỏ cỡ quả quất, ấn dẹp, cho nhân hịt bò vào giữa rồi vo tròn lại cho khoai tây bọc kín nhân.

4. Lăn viên bánh qua bột mì, sau đó qua trứng đánh tan, rồi lăn qua lớp bột panko. Cho vào ngăn đá khoảng 5-10 phút để viên bánh cứng lại, dễ chiên hơn.

5. Chiên lửa vừa với chảo ngập dầu, dầu nóng già (cho đầu đũa vào thấy sủi tăm) thì mới cho các viên bánh vào chiên. Dùng đũa hoặc mui có lỗ đảo nhẹ nhàng để bánh nở tròn đều.

6. Dọn ra đĩa, dùng nóng kèm với tương ớt hoặc tương cà.

_Có thể chiên sơ bánh rồi cho vào hộp, cất tủ đá trữ, dành cho những hôm lười nấu cơm đột xuất
_Có thể thay nhân bằng thịt gà hoặc thịt lợn băm, tùy khẩu vị.

Chúc cả nhà ngon miệng ♥

Public transportation seems to be a breeding ground for dirt and disease, the last thing someone wants to be greeted by after a hard days work with not enough pay. Unfortunately, we can not control others body odor or their actions, which would make for a smoother commute to and fro. We can only control our own.

The following are a few things that I’ve started to do in the public commutes of everyday. They’re not revolutionary, but they have put smiles on peoples faces and resulted in many a compliment.

To begin, wait for others to exit the bus. This is a call back to basics, but one that seems to need reiterating. It’s polite and logical if you’re in rush. Also, let the elderly, handicapable, and expecting mothers on first!

When boarding, take an ear bud out, and with good eye contact and a great big smile, say “hello” to the bus driver. Though they are wielding a massive vehicle, they are in fact human! Where would we be without them? For some, the answer may be “out of a job”. So, take a moment to thank, greet or just smile at your next bus driver.

“Seating is for the elderly, expecting mothers, and people with disabilities.”

…It really grinds my gears to have to restate this, but if you see an older person don’t think just act. Get up and offer them your seat. If you are young and all is well with you, DO NOT take up those seats at the front of the bus! Too often have I seen an elderly person looking for a place to sit, barley able to hold onto the pole in front of them. Even I’ve been guilty of getting overly consumed with my device just to avoid eye contact. No matter how hard your day has been, they have had much more of them in their lifetime and they deserve a seat.

We are all busy people with places to be and deadlines to meet, but we don’t have to go about getting there rudely. Take a moment to give up a seat, smile a greeting, and allow passengers to leave.

Chen. 

chen@girasolo.com

Have you?

Apparently the lamestream media and BO has.

Besides rocks, one of the most basic of all weapons throughout mankind’s history across most cultures has been the long wooden stick. This makes sense since sticks were always readily available in the forests or could be easily made. The Asian martial arts took the long wooden staff into an art form as many martial art styles include the long staff in their systems. Some styles even have traditional weapons forms or katas featuring the long staff. Other systems of martial arts train with weapons such as the staff through practical techniques only without the use of set forms.

Unlike many martial art weapons such as swords, knives, kamas and sais which are short range, staffs are long range weapons with superior reach. This enables the user to attack and defend from a distance which can be frustrating from the point of view of an opponent who has a short range weapon. Long range weapons are also useful in keeping multiple opponents out of reach too. Of course, long weapons such as the staff cannot be easily concealed like short range weapons so they can be cumbersome to carry around.

One of the most popular martial arts weapons from the Japanese karate styles is the bo. Even today, the bo is usually the first weapon taught at karate schools and is the most common weapon seen at tournaments. The bo staff comes in different variations. There are heavy bo staffs which resemble thick poles which are considered more traditional and there are lighter versions which are tapered at both ends. There are also multi-sided bo staffs such as octagonal but these are much less common than the usual round, circular versions.

Although there are one handed swings, most bo techniques involve both hands holding the weapon. Various strikes and blocks can be performed with either end of the bo as well as the sides and middle. Bo users take advantage of the entire weapon as techniques can be executed with any part of the bo. For the majority of techniques involving the bo, the user holds the staff near the middle with both ends protruding out equally. Traditionally, the lead hand (furthest away from the body) has been the right hand.

Contemporary weapons forms competitions have caused the bo to evolve where competitors now use extremely lightweight bo’s and some even have reflective finishes giving a more flashy visual appearance when the user is performing a bo form. Unlike traditional bo forms, contemporary creative open forms with the bo involve more complex spins and even tosses. Some martial artists do not consider some of the modern bo forms observed in the competition circuits to be true weapons forms as some competitors emphasize too much baton-like twirling action rather than actual combative techniques. It could very well be a matter of personal taste. This is why in most of the large open martial arts tournaments, weapons divisions are split into traditional and creative.

Chinese kung fu styles also utilize the long staff although there are some differences in techniques when compared to Japanese karate styles. Instead of holding the weapon in the middle most of the time like a bo is held, Chinese staffs are usually held near one end which has the effect of elongating the weapon even more. Traditionally, the lead hand is the left hand with the right holding the bottom end of the staff. However, there are techniques which involve switching sides as well as using the bottom end to strike too. In addition to strikes executed while holding the weapon with both hands, there are more single handed techniques with Chinese staffs than with Japanese bo staffs. Like their empty hand kung fu forms, Chinese staff forms have more circular, swinging techniques than in Japanese karate styles.

Contemporary wushu forms use a much lighter weapon than in traditional kung fu staff forms. Wushu stylists also use staffs or cudgels that are made of a unique white wax wood from trees that are grown only in China. Staffs made of this type of wood are not made with precision like Japanese bo’s. The wushu staffs are naturally tapered with a thicker bottom and thinner top. The white wax wood is extremely resilient as users of this type of Chinese staff perform techniques which involve smashing the entire weapon on the floor at full force.

Korean kuk sul won also has the long staff in their system and the techniques used are like a blend of Chinese and Japanese moves. Although all martial arts styles that utilize weaponry have more complex and possibly more impressive looking weapons, the long staff has remained to be a favorite for many martial artists.

I texted her asking if she was alright, but then my phone died and I didn’t realise. I read her text 3 hours later, and suddenly I didn’t feel sleepy anymore.

My world would’ve turned upside down if she had been on the other side of the sidewalk. Or if she stood a few feet further from where she was. I thought about the families and friends’ of people who stood on that side of the street. Their world are upside down now.

I hope whoever did this would be brought to justice. Nobody deserved this. My sincere thoughts and prayers goes to the victims of the Boston marathon bombing.

SPOILER ALERT I generally try to time my reviews to coincide with the American airing, but as ShowCase already aired and SyFy is not airing until next week, I’m not going to wait. Read at your own risk, but I will not be holding back. This is your last and only warning.

I mean it. 

We open a few seconds after we left off. Bo is punching the chi out of the guard in an attempt to save Tamsin. When that fails, she tries a starry-eyed monologue for help, and then somehow we’re back at the clubhouse with an unconscious Tamsin on the couch and two Kitsune sorority sisters making out in the background.

I know. Not what I was expecting, either.

In the next couple disorienting minutes, Bo learns Tamsin is associated with a bad character, “like, Voldemort bad,” and we all learn Tamsin lives long and can self-heal to some extent, and at one point lived with the sorority girls. This possibly solves the mystery of Why Is Tamsin Living Out Of Her Truck.

While waiting for Tamsin to come to, Bo calls Kenzi. The framing on Kenzi is so extreme, I knew the wide shot would be ridiculous, and it didn’t disappoint. A tattooed beefstick is holding Kenzi, better for The Morrigan to taunt and threaten, my dear. Despite Kenzi flattering The Morrigan’s footwear, she’s saved from a severe tazing only by the gem Hale slipped her (not an innuendo, or is it?). The Morrigan, frustrated and not exactly long on patience, tells beefstick to take Kenzi out and kill her. Very Snow White’s Evil Stepmother.

Tamsin wakes up and is more flustered by thinking Bo may know something about her past than by the fact her hair is dying and she’s been listick’d. She’s even less thrilled to hear Bo’s plan consists of marching back to Isaac’s compound and getting arrested at gunpoint. Tamsin insists they make a stop to see the much-better-dressed-than-last-time Mossimo, who serves as Tamsin’s dealer of ‘juice’ and also the Rune glass. When they do meet the guards again, it takes them about ten seconds to get hauled in. “All we had to do is act like girls,” Tamsin pouts on her way in to the . . . I can’t help but call it a castle.

Meanwhile, things have happened quickly in the castle. Dyson and Lauren have gleaned from (a somewhat loopier-than-usual) Aife that Isaac is after powerful Fae. Last week, reader Rachel mentioned similarities between Gabriel (a Biblical angel reference) and Mengele, the Nazi Avenging Angel, and this episode makes it immediately clear Isaac is looking for the strongest of the master race to imbue himself with their strength and powers. Several Fae appear in background cages, and we assume they’re exemplary species.

The only non-powerful Fae in prison is a cabbit, a mythological hybrid between a rabbit and a cat. The wife of the now-deceased bartender, she’s slinky like a cat has 38 children like a rabbit. You don’t just introduce a character like this without her having some ramifications later, but at first she played like a humorous relief and a way for Lauren to flex her muscles a little and order Isaac around. 

After Isaac gives Lauren what she wants – 10 minutes and some medical supplies to do her doctor thing – he takes her to his, um, throne room and waves his, ah, bone scepter at her while trying to seduce her. Move along, nothing symbolic here.

Man, does this guy not know how to woo a woman. Or how to tell which way she swings.

The most interesting part of Isaac’s story is that he, like Aife before him, was mostly a victim of circumstance. Both Isaac and Aife were neutral if misguided characters; it was insane asylums, imprisonment, and torture that made them insane and sociopathic. Miscarriage of justice and mistreatment led to their murderous rampages, not the other way around.

As his final act, Gabriel wants to ascend, like Lucifer wanted to, once upon a time. Lauren makes a decent, last-ditch threat the Light Fae will find him and take more than his head, but he’s put a lot of time, thought, and money into turning into a “cross-breed,” and he’s not about to stop now. He later uses the word ‘reborn,’ which also carries a lot of biblical implications. He’s obviously thinking on a grand scale.

Now the plotlines begin to converge. Bo is brought before Isaac, and Lauren cuts off their reunion with a curt “You came for Dyson.” Ignoring the overtly suggestive implications in that sentence, Lauren is pulling out all the stops to convince Isaac she has rejected Bo and is completely sold out for Isaac’s plan – not because Lauren believes in what Isaac wants, but because she sees this as a way out from under the Fae entirely. She even uses ‘loved,’ past tense.

It’s telling when Lauren verbally eviscerates Bo, she places herself between Bo and Isaac, showing only Bo her face while turning her back on Isaac. Everything Lauren says to Bo about her own situation is still true, from her pain at being abused for years at the hands of the Fae to wanting to do something meaningful. Isaac hears it as an endorsement of his experiment, but Lauren means quite a different thing entirely.

While Bo is taken back to her cell, Isaac waves a horsehair doodad, then goes to the operating room where Dyson is bolted down. He proceeds to fulfill homoerotic subtext which makes the Skyfall scene pale in comparison. He tickles Dyson’s feet and calls him “the most magnificent creature I have ever encountered” before leaning over and saying “I can’t wait to be the recipient of all that you have.”

I mean, really.

This subtext is topped only by the next scene’s subtext, where Tamsin gets super-charged while Bo gets an extra jolt. There’s so much sexual tension resolved you have to wonder if they planned the story around the imagery, rather than the other way around.

Let me back up a moment. When I start reviewing Lost Girl from the beginning (next week! mark your calendars), I plan to talk about how the scenes depicting sex between Bo/various men and Bo/various women differ, and why. There’s the obvious issue of directors having to cover more parts with the ladies (hi, FCC / CRTC!), there are aesthetic choices depending on what the scene is trying to get across, there is character personality to take into account, etc.

Interestingly, there has so far been no on-screen audio or visual depiction of orgasm when Bo was with a woman only (plenty of audio intimation in 1.04 when she had a threesome). There’s plenty of aftermath and suggestion of what just happened. One could argue for a little bit of 03.04, I guess. But the first time there’s an orgasm during a woman/woman liaison is here, and it’s all metaphorical.

And what. a. metaphor. Lost Girl has plenty of phallic imagery (especially when Bo pulls that knife on guys; something else I plan to address with my upcoming episodic analysis), but has stuck to intimations and a couple joke-y references about battery-powered things and women making other women climax.

Until Bo sticks a needle into Tamsin, yanks her hair back, pushes the plunger while sucking her chi, and they make that face and those sounds; simultaneously, no less. I haven’t seen this better done since, well,

Also, Tamsin immediately makes a trojan joke.

So let’s make no mistake, while Tamsin and Bo didn’t jump into bed, they had metaphorical sex the way sci-fi does best: via suggestion, needles, and some after-effect blue sparklies.

I’m sorry, where was I? Ah yes. Bo and Tamsin proceed to take out the entire room of guards and free the prisoners. Bo and Aife run for it . . . straight into a freshly-mutated Isaac. He refers to Bo and Aife as ‘pets,’ which is a reversal of humans calling Fae that, and about to have an even better second meaning (hint: bunnies). Isaac goes for Bo with a knife, and – as we all knew she would – Aife steps in the way and takes the knife for Bo, traditionally a father-for-son sacrifice. When Bo has to run out following Tamsin and some shaky logic, Aife reflexively feeds on the cabbit to gain her strength. It’s just as well. Evil/Crazy Aife is good for the story.

It’s getting pretty heavy, so time for a little comic relief, as usual, via Kenzi, who is melting her beefstick Bruce into puddles. More surprising than Bruce’s being Hale’s employee is his Ph.D in medieval Fae verse. That face tattoo is more than shorthand for ‘badass,’ it probably references Chaucer.

The important takeaway from their interaction is that Kenzi confirms she wants to become Fae, the better to rescue her friends. Bruce’s response is ‘I’m coming with you, and we’re taking The Morrigan’s car,’ to which Kenzi squeals “I love you.” Dude’s not the greatest actor, but his delivery of “I love you, too” is priceless.

Back to the dark stuff: Tamsin’s betrayal and her showdown with Bo has finally arrived, and other than one awfully-timed reaction to being hit with a platter, it’s pretty epic. Tamsin and Bo really bring the toys to the party, and after they throw down, they bring the emotional impact, too. This one fight and post-fight conversation carried more weight than most of the Dawning. Bo and Tamsin may not love or trust each other (yet?), but there’s a deep-seated mutual respect. 

No such thing exists between Dyson and Isaac, despite Issac claiming “we’re connected.” When Lauren told Dyson she injected him with six doses of anesthetic, my immediate guess was she gave Dyson something she knew he could handle and Isaac couldn’t, or something that would mutate with werewolf bone marrow. I was missing the more obvious answer, which was Lauren taking her time helping the cabbit to extract bone marrow, too. As cabbit-marrow turns Isaac into natural wolf-bait, it’s a pretty perfect solution, though I personally think making Isaac bear 38 children would be far worse. Brava, Lauren. (More of my thoughts about the whole Lauren plotline below.)

Tamsin picks up Dyson post-feed, and they start back towards the Dal to meet Bo when the truck stereo goes haywire and Tamsin sees The Wanderer in the road ahead – apparently his theme music gets broadcast in a 1000-foot radius. She floors it, only to hit a vapor which sends the truck over a convenient cliff. The vapor immediately shows up at the Dal to take Bo and leave a calling card in broken glass, thoughtfully composed so as to make a perfect final shot for the season.

TO SUM UP

While sending two characters over a cliff in a truck, leaving another character MIA, and abducting our main succubus all count as cliffhangers, there’s another one: Tamsin says the hairs are woven together “with the kiss of someone who will never betray you.” That someone is Kenzi, and the rune glass fails to work at all. Dollars to donuts this crops up again, and not in a good way. 

This episode packs a lot into 44 minutes, but doesn’t resolve much other than Isaac. Tamsin got the most backstory, and Lauren is MIA after the surgery, which means the writers can do anything at all with her. She could still be a hostage. She can be trying to use this as a way to escape all Fae. She could be trying to rescue Bo and/or Dyson and Tamsin. Poor Lauren. She’s the perfect writer’s punching bag. 

Speaking of Lauren. I can like the way a show does something without liking what it’s actually doing. I can like what a show does, without liking how it goes about it. (Luther, in particular, infuriates me both ways.) But there’s another category: loving what an episode does, and how it does it, but not the characters it uses for specific plot lines. Whether Lauren falls into this category or not for me depends entirely on one thing: when she knew what she knew; specifically, what Isaac is.

I would have been disappointed if Lauren had been playing this game for weeks. For Lauren – the character who in the first season talks about not being out in the field; who wants to carefully, with backup, figure out the best plan of attack; who is better with her wits than her physical capabilities – to take it upon herself to go alone, unarmed, and with no backup into Isaac’s castle would be unthinkable. 

But Melanie, you say, it’s for story, like you mentioned the last episode did. Sure, willing suspension of disbelief has already been raised to a new form by modern sci-fi and fantasy (can I just call it sci-fan for short? I feel like this should already be a thing). We’re talking vampires and aliens and succubi. But.

What is so great about sci-fan is its ability to get to the truth of humanity in ways dramas and even comedies often can’t. It can explore our deepest fears in visceral ways, and bring to life our nightmares to teach us how to slay them. To do all this in the best way, its emotions, characterizations, and basic functions still need to be recognizable and consistent. Unless you have a character like Spock, who is supposed to lack human traits in order to help us figure them out, you have to keep humans acting in a way they would in ‘real life’, even if they’re in a campy atmosphere or occasionally stretch a reaction ot two. If careful Lauren, one of only two humans in the main group of characters, acts so out-of-her-established-personality as to seamlessly go undercover and change the basis of her character’s personality for three whole episodes, it blows the whole arc up for me.

Which is all to say, though the story isn’t clearly settled yet, the sense I get is Lauren wasn’t fully aware what she was walking into (partly due to her emotional reaction to go with Taft, partly due to the Light Fae’s insistence at keeping her in the dark, partly due to necessities of story), but managed to save the day anyways.

Everyone else stayed fairly true, as well. Kenzi was feisty and hilarious, while getting herself out of a scrape this time. Aife rambled. Tamsin came to her inevitable conclusion and fought her damndest but was ultimately swayed by mutual admiration and Bo’s goodness. Dyson got to hunt stuff. Hale ditched the politics which were dragging him down. Trick rode off into the sunset with Stella, probably to take a couple episodes off, only to return with more encyclopedic knowledge. The whole series is about Bo’s evolution from someone who is wholly lost to someone who knows herself, is a better person, and has found family, and while this episode didn’t do a lot for Bo, this season has, and I think her run-in with The Wanderer will kickstart another steep learning curve.

Thus, though we end on several cliffhangers, I’m quite happy how the whole thing went.

-

Stray Observations

• Bo/some writer really likes the word ‘kinky.’ It’s a fun word. Kinky kinky kinky.

• Split ends. A fate worse than death.

• Exactly WHICH battles did TamTam influence with the blink of her smoky eyes?

• I don’t know where the magical rock garden is that Hale and Lauren get their stones from, but it’d come in great handy if I could find out.

• I love that you can’t quite tell whether Tamsin would love or hate ‘slut heaven.’

• Tamsin finally openly admits she’s willing to fight for Dyson. Season 4 love rhombus! But Dyson, word from the wise: if someone’s near-dying wish is that you get her Wilco bootleg, that’s true love.

• Tamsin calling Bo ‘Meryl Streep’ was one of at least five movie references, including Wrath of the Titans, Pretty Woman, and Back to the Future.

• “You really are the chosen one.” Chosen one as in female Christ-figure, as well as mythological implications?

• I hope Bruce becomes a running guest star, a la Ranjit in HIMYM.

• “It’s like my birthday, La Shoshan, and the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre, all rolled into one.” Ah, I missed Vex.

• The after-effects were pretty pedestrian; but then, they spent a lot of money on actors, sets, and likely Tamsin’s rocking jacket for this episode.

• Wow, do those set designers ever like their squares.

Note something I missed or didn’t mention? Disagree entirely with a point or three? Want to ask about something specific in a Season 1 episode that I’m going to recap in the coming weeks? Let me know in the comments, or see the About/Contact page.

I am a huge Lost Girl fan. I love Bo & Kenzi, and I’m very envious of their kickass style. I’d love to pull off Kenzi’s punk rock look, but I love the maturity and sexiness of Bo’s outfits. Her clothing usually looks comfortable and functional, which are typically the deciding factors when I pick out my own clothes.

This imagined outfit is something I could see Bo wearing. JungleTribe makes the coolest purses ever, and I think Bo would love the versatility of the Penny Rocker bag. The Infamous Ashley Faux Leather Jacket would look killer over a semi-loose shirt, which I’d pair with fitted, black pants and Lassen’s tall black boots (with a manageable heel for the occasional fae chase). Her go-to earrings are usually simple hoops, but I thought she’d look great with these tribal earrings.

1. Penny Rocker Hip & Holster Bag by JungleTribe on Etsy / 2. Y-Back Seamless Cami on Free People / 3. Lassen Kansas 5410 Boots on Zappos / 4. Verona Leather Skinny Pants on Free People / 5. Infamous Ashley Womens Faux Leather Jacket on Tilly’s / 6. Ancient Moonlight Sterling Silver Hoop Earrings on Novica / 7.  Axel Caplet Boxy Long Sleeve Tee on Free People

Inspired by Bo’s outfits from Lost Girl. Image from Showcase.ca

Bo seeks reassurance from Lauren.

Bo paused at the threshold of the room, smiling to herself.  As she approached Lauren, she leaned forward, taking the tablet out of her hands.  “If I’m not allowed to work, you’re not allowed to work either,” she declared.

Lauren looked mildly put out, but mostly playful.  “But working relaxes me,” she replied.  She reached for the tablet but Bo held it just out of reach.  “I really don’t think you want to see what happens when my temporal lobe is denied stimulation.”

Bo eased herself down onto the bed next to her.  “I’m much more interested in providing you with other forms of stimulation…”

“Really?” Lauren replied, brushing her lips against Bo’s own.

“You almost sound surprised.”

“Well… you have been a bit distracted lately.”

Bo pulled back slightly, the conversation coming dangerously close to hitting a nerve.  She had been second guessing her ability to control her powers, keenly aware of how delicate human life could be in her presence, and it was nearly all she could think about.  The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Lauren; the very thought made her feel ill.  “I haven’t been… inattentive, have I?”

“Not inattentive,” Lauren assured her.  “Just distracted.”  She raised her hand, pushing a strand of hair back from Bo’s forehead.  “I wish you would tell me what’s going on in there.  I can’t help, if I don’t know where to start.”

Bo sighed, “I just have a lot on my mind.”  She looked deeply, searchingly, into Lauren’s eyes.  “Do you ever feel… scared when you’re with me?”

Lauren tilted her head to the side, understanding and wanting to comfort her.  “I feel scared for you, never of you.  I could never feel scared of you.”

Bo blinked rapidly, trying to suppress tears, trying not to yield to the fear.  “Not even if I become a blue-eyed monster?” she ventured.

Lauren shook her head.  “I’ll still love you.  I just… might have to keep you on a leash.”

“Kinky.”

Lauren framed Bo’s face with her hands.  “You’re so much stronger than you know,” she said.  “You’re amazing, Bo; you can do anything.  You just need to believe it.”

“At moments like this,” Bo said, kissing Lauren gently along the line of her jaw, “I do believe it.”

“Feeling better then?”

“A little…” Bo replied, smiling.  “I think I’ll be feeling a lot better in a few minutes…”

“‘Minutes’?”

“I use the term loosely,” Bo assured her.  Kissing her deeply and lowering her back onto the bed, she said, “I could do this all day…”

Lauren rolled her onto her back and, looking down at her, said, “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

In response, Bo simply pulled her back into a kiss.

“Let me tell you how it will be.  There’s 1 for you, 19 for me, ‘cuz I’m the Tax Man.  Yeah, I’m the Tax Man.  Should 5% appear too small, be thankful I don’t take it all, ‘cuz I’m the Tax Man.  Yeah, I’m the Tax Man.  If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street.  If you try to sit, I’ll tax your seat.  If you get too cold, I’ll tax the heat.  If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet.  Tax Man!  I’m the Tax Man.  Yeah, I’m the Tax Man.  Don’t ask me what I want it for if you don’t want to pay some more, ‘cuz I’m the Tax Man.  Yeah, I’m the Tax Man.  Now my advice for those who die (TAX MAN), declare the pennies on your eyes (TAX MAN), ‘cuz I’m the Tax Man.  Yeah, I’m the Tax Man, and you’re working for no one but me.  Tax Man!”  George Harrison

We dedicate this old classic Beatles song to BO, his family, his leeches, his fools, his cronies, and his thugs.

I wish I could say that we have “taxation with representation” but we no longer do, because the vast majority of the elected politicos have absolutely no concept of who they are supposed to represent … or what they represent … other than themselves and their gaping pocketbooks … so they tax anything that moves … or doesn’t move … and think that the citizenry is ok with that.  The citizenry is not.  The problem is … the vast majority of the citizenry has no ability to stop it or knowledge of how to stop it, and they have no energy left after paying for BO and his family of fools to go on vacation several times a month … while they wonder if they will *ever* have the chance to take a vacation … and they work till they drop as part of BO’s new “slave class” that is supposed to work and hand over all their very hard earned money.

“Should 5% appear too small, be thankful I don’t take it all, ‘cuz I’m the Tax Man.”

Roy and I are going on vacation the end of April … the first one we’ve been able to take in over FIVE YEARS.  However, we have fools in DC that think taking a vacation every month is ok … and that doing it lavishly at the expense of the taxpayer is acceptable.  Do they think that we all are able to do that?  Very few can take any vacations at all other than staying home and hoping to make ends meet, let alone even dream of one vacation a year … as opposed to one vacation a month.

“Don’t ask me what I want it for if you don’t want to pay some more, ‘cuz I’m the Tax Man.”

Roy and I have been hit with MASSIVE tax bills in the past few years due to several financial issues/setbacks that we encountered … that would pay for small vacations for us but are a drop in the bucket for the ungrateful and out-of-touch idiots that are currently occupying the White House.  We’d love to spend the money that we earn on us being able to take even a short vacation to Tahoe or Disneyland, let alone lavish vacations, rather than giving it to the political leeches taking opulent vacations and hosting wild birthday parties for Moochelle but not allowing the public in on tours of the White House.

We are curious.

What are they hiding in the White House?  What is it they are doing in there that they suddenly have closed “The People’s House” to the public?  It isn’t “Sequestration”, because they’re able to cover their wild lifestyle with tax money so they could cover tours of the White House with it also.

Curiouser and curiouser.

So … we get a bit worked up when they dip in our pocket so they can go on dream trips while we work ourselves to the bone so that we can owe more money than we did before.

“Yeah, I’m the Tax Man, and you’re working for no one but me.”

Guess again, Limousine Leftist Liberals that are living on the taxpayer dole.  You work for the taxpayer … not the other way around … and we, the taxpayers, find your lavish lifestyle selfish, arrogant, and downright abhorrent.

I got all dressed up, which never happens. Tie. (Not even a clip on!) Cufflinks. Jacket AND Vest. This was June in Texas, so that was in retrospect an obvious mistake. Particularly because as a deeply sedentary person who, of necessity, pole vaults from place to place, I tend to sweat profusely even when just getting up from the couch. So actually attempting to go somewhere complicated in such a getup was akin to being the head coach of flop sweat, and having a bucket of BO flavored Gatorade dumped on me just before the big meet.

At least I didn’t have a Victorian era hat I guess. Whoo-hoo!

Wearing my superannuated yuppie disguise, I left my very pregnant wife and went downtown. This is another blazing red flag, well three actually.

One, some years ago I let my driver’s license expire, and several attempts since to pass the road test since have failed miserably. (Hand controls make it challenging to make things look appropriately effortless, I guess, plus I suck.) So I don’t drive much, and parallel park like a right whale.

I should probably clarify that simile.

Lacking hands, right whales typically drive even less than I do, and allegedly have twelve foot long prehensile penises. (Thank you so much, David Attenborough!)

So despite their lack of skill, they figure they can sidle up anywhere nearby and kind of feel their way to ecstatic completion. I have a similar theory about parking, but given my much less impressive equipment it usually ends badly. I find the slot at least as hard to get into, and I’m still fucked, yes, but it’s less of an accomplishment.

Two, whatever surprising functionality I have managed from time to time to wring out of my damaged brain, it is clear that none of the neurons where my sense of direction might have been housed in a scenario of adequate oxygen perfusion actually survived. I get lost going home from the store. Anytime I go somewhere new, I need turn by turn directions to have any hope at all.

I had a GPS, but it criticized me so much I found it too distracting for daily use, and when I pulled it out months later for the trip its touchscreen had become mostly unresponsive and its voice was distorted in such a way that I swear it now sounds drunk and sarcastic. I assume it had gotten baked in the car.

Spooky and hilarious, but not useful. You really don’t want to have a baked drunk sarcastic automaton doing your navigating when you’re lost, it just doesn’t inspire confidence.

Three. I left my very pregnant wife. Dumbass move, right? This was especially bone headed because she had a fever. At least I think she did, maybe that was later, and the knowledge of the present caused it to seem to predate her labor by a few hours. I’m pretty sure we had gone to the obstetrician the day before, so it must have been something. The doctor hadn’t ordered a C-section or inducement, so we supposed it was all right. I wasn’t thrilled, and very nervous, But this had been planned, the money spent,  and she wasn’t in labor, she wanted me to go, and so I went.

I actually don’t remember the drive so it must have been uneventful, but I had trouble finding the right room. I wandered around for a good ten  minutes in my hermetically sealed winter weight woolies. It was an experiment I told myself to see whether the fifteen extra pounds of perspiration weight centered around my underwear would eventually cause my pants to fall down.

And people say a disabled person’s life isn’t exciting. I swear I could hear a sound like sodden squeaky clown shoes whenever I landed on a swing through.

Once I found the actual venue,  the impression I received from the surroundings was that everyone else there had spent more money on their watch or jewelry than we had for our house. I would have been uncomfortable even if my clothes weren’t sweatstuck to my body like I had been clandestinely vacuum packed while waiting for the elevator by the company that made my deodorant, in the hope that the complete flameout of its product in the face of my juggernauting underarm mojo could be concealed from the assembled political luminaries.

They were, and it couldn’t.

I took a back corner table and hoped I would dry out during the speeches. Eventually they finished and I got to approach David Axelrod, the main speaker.

Rather than dazzling him with my command of policy and showing off my political wit. I froze. I spent the first several seconds trying to decide why all stand-alone mustaches make people look slightly more like Hitler. I heard myself  blithering on about security issues with touchscreen voting. He glazed.  He tried to get away. Sensing my opportunity slipping away, I snapped out of my beardless facial hair —> naziism reverie and asked him what the hell he planned to do if McCain was smart enough to pick a female moderate like Christine Todd Whitman. The PUMA’s would flee in droves!*

That got his attention. He looked briefly startled. and then recovered, assuring me, smiling,  that the people running McCain’s campaign were nowhere near that smart.  He hoped, I said. He shook his head  slightly, admitting the problem. and dismissing me simultaneously, like I was an evil thought to be warded against.

I had been in line forever by then and was happy to be sitting down again. I drank some water, I plotted my next questions before getting back in line.

That’s when I got my  wife’s text that she thought she might be in labor, and I needed to come home, um, right effing now.

I went, I don’t remember that drive either.

I’ll get to the actual birth, eventually, I promise.

*PUMA stand for Party Unity my Ass, and referred to the supporters of Hillary Clinton, most of whom were (and some still are!) ripshit that she was being denied the nomination, it being in their view her damn turn. I myself had been for Edwards before he dropped out and way before his titanic and earthshattering douchebaggery became known. This was to some degree because he actually appeared to care about poverty and economic inequality, but also because I was concerned with all the crap that had to be cleaned up from 43, that having a demographic first timer (as either an african-american or female president would be) might make them politically timid so as not to ruin it for those that came after, and give the GOP an extra dollop of bigotry to work with in the inevitable obstruction. Hoooooooo doggies!, such obstruction. A shanda, I tell you.

Series 3/Chapter 1
Time Lapsed Since “End of Days“: 1 month
Featuring: Bo, Lauren, Kenzi, Trick, Dyson, Hale, Val, Vex

Bo made her way down the hallway, an aching tenderness in her left side as a result of her long night’s work.  She knocked and waited, growing impatient with each second that passed until Lauren finally opened her door, clad in her robe.  Bo didn’t even wait for her to say “Hello,” just grabbed her and kissed her, pressing her against the wall and kicking the door closed behind them.

They made their way to the bed, tearing off each other’s clothes along the way.  Bo felt ravenous, as if she’d been years without sustenance, and before she even knew that she was doing it she began to withdraw Lauren’s chi.  Once she’d tasted it, she couldn’t get enough; it felt so good as she drew deeply, her body renewing itself with Lauren’s life force.  She took more and more and more until, finally, she felt Lauren’s body shuddering beneath her.  A warm, powerful feeling slid over her.  She felt as though she was glowing with it.

Her mind slowly began clearing as her consciousness regained control and she became vaguely aware that something was wrong.  She looked down at Lauren, observing the blue tinge to her skin without really comprehending it.  She placed her hand over Lauren’s heart and, as she realized that it wasn’t beating, her own began to pound in her chest.

“Lauren!” she cried and, leaning down, tried to return the chi to her.  But she couldn’t revive her, no matter how hard she tried.

Bo snapped up in bed, gasping, her face wet with tears.  As she struggled to catch her breath, she felt a hand softly caress her back.  She glanced over her shoulder and saw Lauren gazing up at her, the dim morning light creeping across her face.

“What’s the matter?” Lauren asked drowsily.

“Nothing.”

“Another nightmare?”

Bo hesitated.  “Yeah.”

“What was it about?”

“I… I don’t want to talk about it.  Let’s go back to sleep,” she replied, lowering herself back down to the bed and laying her head on Lauren’s chest.  The sound of Lauren’s heart steadily beating beneath her ear was comforting, but not so much that Bo was able to get back to sleep.  It felt too real.  It felt like a premonition.

The affable look on Val’s face immediately disintegrated when Kenzi opened the clubhouse door.  Barely masking her antipathy, Val said, “I need to see Bo.”

Kenzi shrugged.  “Bo’s not here.”  She took a thoughtful breath.  “We done?”

“When will she be back?”

“A few days.  She and the doc decided to get out of town for a bit.”

“Well, I need you to get her back.  I need her help.”

Before Kenzi could reply, Donovan came forward and opened the clubhouse door wide enough for Val to enter.  “Anything we can do?” he asked.

“I doubt it,” Val replied, though she did take a few steps into the clubhouse.  “I have a matter of a rather… delicate nature that needs to be dealt with.  Discretely and quickly.”

“What’s the rush?” Donovan asked.

“Well, as you may be aware, but probably aren’t given your position, I’m in the running to be appointed to a very important political post.  I’m going to be appointed the new Glaive.”

“Unless…” Kenzi prompted.

Val sighed.  “A couple of years ago things got a little out of hand at a La Shoshain celebration.  I had an… encounter with a Dark fae…”

Kenzi leaned towards Donovan, sing-songing, “Sex tape…”

Val’s expression became darker.  “Of sorts,” she confirmed.  “It’s a set of crystals that capture and display images.  I didn’t realize that such a thing existed until Vex told me about it at the post-Apocalypse party.  I need you to get it for me.”

“What’s the name of the Dark fae?” Donovan asked.

Val hesitated.  “I don’t remember.”

“Class-ay,” Kenzi remarked.

“Are you going to help me or not?” Val asked sharply.

“Of course,” Kenzi assured her, moving towards the kitchen counter and writing on a piece of paper.  She stepped forward, holding it out to Val.  “This is our fee.”

Val glanced at the paper.  “I know that this is more than you usually charge.”

Kenzi shrugged.  “Bitch tax.”

“Whatever,” Val replied.  “Just get it for me; I’ll pay whatever you want.”  She turned to leave and then slowly turned back, her expression betraying an intense vulnerability that she would have preferred to have kept hidden.  “I think it goes without saying that Hale is not to know about this.”

Kenzi smirked.  “Mmmhmm.”

Val nodded and turned back around, slipping out the door.  Once she was gone, Kenzi and Donovan shared a meaningful look.

“We’re in agreement that we’re going to watch the video once we find it, right?”

“Yeah,” Donovan nodded enthusiastically.

***

Bo leaned back and closed her eyes, feeling herself being pulled into sleep.  She struggled against it, afraid of what dreams would come.  She hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since before defeating Balor and it was wearing on her, making her edgy and paranoid.  She was in a constant state of fear and agitation, convinced that something was lurking behind every corner, waiting for her.  Or, worse, that she would drop her guard and lose control of herself, be taken over by those dark forces and go on a rampage.

She felt a disturbance in the water and opened her eyes, watching as Lauren lowered herself into the hot tub.  They smiled at each other and Lauren moved closer, wrapping her arms around Bo’s shoulders and leaning in for a kiss.

“Yoga, a couple’s massage, and hot tub,” Lauren stated.  “If you’re not relaxed by now, I don’t know what will do it.”

Bo sighed contentedly.  “This definitely beats almost getting maimed and killed by random fae.”

Lauren looked at her carefully, her gaze that of a concerned doctor rather than a lover.  “And yet you haven’t been sleeping.”

“I just have a lot on my mind,” Bo insisted, “what with saving the world, and all.”

“Is that what your nightmares are about?”

Bo hesitated.  She didn’t like to keep things from Lauren, but how could she tell her that she’d been haunted by dreams of killing her, of killing Kenzi, of killing Trick – of killing them all?  What was worse, there was something about the dreams that felt true, that felt right.  Something in her nature cried out for her to give in, to feast on what the world had to offer and then conquer whatever remained.

Bo saw a shadow on the periphery of her vision and turned her head, narrowing her eyes and examining everything in view.  They were in a secluded area surrounded by trees and shrubs, but she knew that it was more an illusion of privacy than privacy itself.

“What’s the matter?” Lauren asked, following Bo’s gaze.

“I feel like we’re being watched.”

“I think you need some sleep.”  Bo visibly bristled at the suggestion, which only concerned Lauren further.  “Maybe we should go home and I should get you into the lab…”

Bo gave her a wry look.  “Science is your preferred form of foreplay.”

Lauren smirked.  “I never claimed that it was an altruistic suggestion.  Should we?”

“No,” Bo asserted, pulling Lauren closer.  “We’re on vacation.”  She kissed her and said, “I promise, no more bad thoughts.”  But it was a difficult promise to keep.

***

“I see you heard about the new dress code,” Dyson remarked dryly, standing aside so that Hale could enter his apartment.

“Funny,” Hale replied.  “The new Ash was appointed today, so…” he continued, gesturing to his suit.

Dyson hesitated.  “Are… congratulations in order?”

“I wasn’t in the running this time.  I was just there to put in an appearance…”

“Make daddy proud?”

“Help my sister out,” Hale corrected defensively.  “She’s still pursuing her political aspirations so the family was out in full force, making nice, making the case for her.”

“Sounds exhausting.  Need a beer?”

“I need all the beer.”

Dyson grabbed one out of the fridge and tossed it to him.  Hale opened it, waiting for Dyson to ask him about the new Ash.  When it became apparent that no questions would be forthcoming, he had to break the silence himself.  “You aren’t the least bit curious?”

Dyson shrugged.  “It has nothing to do with me anymore.”

“Come on, man.  Lachlan’s dead…”

“This isn’t about Lachlan,” Dyson snapped.  He turned away, taking a deep breath before turning back.  “I just… can’t do it anymore, Hale.  I was never meant to be aligned.  It was never what I wanted, but it was what I had to do.  Now… I’m free.”

“Free to get yourself killed,” Hale replied.  “Look, I know that what went down with you was bad – worse than that.  But the new Ash seems okay and this could be time for a fresh start.  Unaligned means unprotected.  It means standing alone…”

“It means standing with Bo,” Dyson corrected and then, breaking into a smile, continued, “What’s the matter? You don’t think I can hack it unaligned?”

“I think it’s a tough road.”

“Well, we’ll be fine.”

Hale smiled strangely.  “You’re a ‘we’ now?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m not sure I do.  So what are you gonna do? Become a PI and solve crimes with Bo?”

“Maybe.  If that’s what Bo wants.”

Hale finished what was left of his beer and set the empty can down, looking closely at Dyson.  He looked… brighter than usual, more alive.  If Hale hadn’t known better, he would have thought that Dyson was in love.  “Did… something happen between you and Bo?  What’s going on?”

“Nothing.  I just… feel like I’ve got a fresh start.”  He cleared his throat, pointedly looking away from Hale.  “So who is it, anyway?  The new Ash?”

“I thought you didn’t care.”

“I’m a slave to curiosity.  It’s the detective in me.”

Hale smirked.  “Her name’s Zahra.  She’s a Phoenix.”

“Then I guess the Light have solved their seasonal losing of the Ash problem.”

“You might say that,” Hale laughed.  They didn’t return to the subject of Bo again, or to the notion of surviving unaligned, but it remained at the front of Hale’s mind.  His radar was up; something strange was going on.

“I don’t like this,” Donovan muttered, following Kenzi into Carpe Noctem.

“Noted,” Kenzi replied.  Suddenly she found herself moving backwards against her will, slamming herself into the wall.

Vex emerged from the shadows, waving his arm about, making Kenzi his mirror.  “What do we have here?”

Donovan made a move towards him, prompting Vex to let go of his hold on Kenzi and focus instead on Donovan, whom he made slap himself in the face.  “Why’re you hitting yourself?  Why’re you hitting yourself?” Vex asked in an older brotherly fashion.

“We just need a minute of your time,” Kenzi said irritably.  “Please.”

“Oh, well, since you’ve said please,” Vex replied, releasing Donovan but giving him a warning look.  “What d’ya want?  Make it quick.”

“Do the words ‘sex tape’ mean anything to you?” Kenzi asked.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“The one you told Val about…”

Vex started to laugh.  “Oh, that.  It’s a good one.  She’s into some weird stuff.  Even by my standards.”

“Yeah, well, we need to retrieve it for her so I need to know the name of the Dark fae…”

“Yeah, no,” he replied and then, in response to her incredulous look, “Bros before hos.”

“I told you this was a waste of time,” Donovan said lowly.

Kenzi shot him a look and then turned back to Vex.  “Help us out.”

“Why would I want to help a couple of filthy humans so that they can, in turn, help out a Light fae?”

“Because we are bros, dude.  We fought side by side against Balor.  That’s got to count for something.”

“Nah, not really,” he said flippantly.

“What if we pay you for the information?”

He considered this.  “Now you’re speaking my language,” he said and then, before she could respond, “But, you’ve opened up a whole other can of worms.”

“And what might that be?”

“Well, you say that we’re bros and that I therefore have to give up the name.  But, if I tell you his name, you’re going to die.  I mean it; he’s going to kill you in a rather spectacular fashion. If I send you to your death, then I’m not much of a bro…”

Kenzi waved away his faux concern.  “Just give us the name.  We officially absolve you from any responsibility for our eminent deaths.”

Vex crossed his arms and looked at her expectantly.

“Well?” she asked.

“Uh… I still want to be paid.  Upfront, since you’re going to die.”

Kenzi sighed and pulled out her wallet.

“This feels… weird, but good,” Bo declared.

“I told you,” Lauren replied dreamily.  “I guess next time I tell you you’ll like something, you’ll just take my word for it? Even if it sounds as strange as seaweed wraps.”

“You know, I never figured you for being quite so… zen,” Bo said with surprise.

Lauren sighed, deeply relaxed.  “Having a front row seat to the end of the world and living to see another day will do that to you.  Besides, any excuse to get your clothes off…”

Bo murmured in response to this, happy but thinking that surviving the end of the world had made her anything but zen.  For a time she had been the most powerful creature in the world, capable of anything and of turning everything else into nothing.  She wasn’t herself anymore, she was something else, something akin to a God.  Part of her – a large part, if she was being honest – had not wanted to relinquish that power.  Another part of her – a part she worried was shrinking by the day – fought against that desire, fought against being taken over by it.  She had been on guard every moment since vanquishing Balor.

Beside her, Lauren began to wheeze.  She opened her eyes and saw that Lauren was struggling to breathe.  She got up and went to her, “What’s the matter?”

Her face was red, verging on purple.  “I… can’t…” she said, raising her hand uselessly towards her throat.

Bo’s mind raced as she tried to think of what to do and she began to tear at the wrap and seaweed mixture, trying to get it away from Lauren’s body, but it only seemed to grow tighter.  As she looked desperately around the room for something that might help, she saw the shadow.  It was creeping, ever so slightly, out from behind a screen.  Bo approached swiftly, winding a towel between her hands, and tore back the screen, revealing a slightly built woman behind it, her fists held out in front of her, clenching.

Before the woman could say a word, Bo slung the towel around the woman’s neck and twisted herself around behind her, forcing the woman to bend backwards as she tried to maintain her balance.  Bo looked over at Lauren and saw that she was breathing a little more freely, the fae woman’s powers having dissipated from lack of concentration.

“Who are you?” Bo hissed, pulling the towel tighter around the woman’s neck as the woman flailed her hands, trying to strike her.

“I’m the avenger,” she replied hatefully.  “No real fae would let this… human live after what she did to one of ours.”

“I’ll take Lauren over Livia any day,” Bo replied.  She yanked the woman’s head back and then brought her lips close to the other woman’s and began to draw out her chi.  She felt the woman’s body begin to slacken in her arms and it was no longer necessary to hold onto the towel.  She continued to draw the woman out, stealing the essence of her being, lowering her to the ground as she became more dead weight.

“Bo?”

She could hear Lauren’s voice, but it was faint and muffled, as if she was hearing it from under water.  Finally she surfaced and saw that the woman was dead beneath her.  She looked over at Lauren and for a second – just a second – felt that she could devour her, too.  Lauren was still talking.  Bo could see her lips moving but she could not hear her and she saw her through a haze of blue.

She snapped out of it, the natural balance of her senses shifting back into place.  “We need to get out of here,” she said, looking at Lauren but not directly.

“Bo…”

“We can talk about it later,” Bo said hurriedly, pulling the woman’s body against a wall and putting the screen up to hide her.  “Right now we have to go.”

Bo’s phone was ringing as they walked back into their room and the only reason she answered it was because it was Trick.  “Not the best time,” she said.

“Is Lauren alright?” he asked.

“She’s right here,” Bo replied, glancing at Lauren as if to confirm it.  “Why did you ask that?”

“Because I’ve received word that a bounty has been put on Lauren’s head by the Dark in retaliation for what she did to Livia…”

“We already went through that,” Bo said, her tone growing increasingly frustrated.  “That’s why she went back into the Light’s protection…”

“She went into Lachlan’s protection,” Trick corrected.  “She didn’t declare fealty to the Light or to the office of the Ash.  Now Lachlan’s gone, she’s fair game, and the Dark have regrouped enough to send out their best assassins.”

“Well, they’re down one now.  I’ve got to go Trick…”

“Wait!  We need to figure out what you’re going to do…”

“We will, but right now I’ve got to go,” she said, hanging up before he could object.

“How bad is it?” Lauren asked as she continued packing their bags.

“Oh, you know… same thing, different day.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

***

Kenzi and Donovan tried to look casual and nondescript as they stood on the corner, but each knew that they were being watched.  They could feel the hostile stares being levelled in their direction by passing Dark fae.

“I don’t like it here…” Donovan said lowly.

“I know.  Just be cool for a few more minutes, okay?”

“Do you really think we can trust her?”

“Would we be here if I didn’t?”

“I don’t know, Kenzi.  You’re kind of a loose cannon sometimes.”  He sighed, nervous and aggravated.  “It’s bad enough that we had to see Vex…”

“He helped us, didn’t he?”

“That remains to be seen.”

Before Kenzi could reply, she saw Miki slipping out of the building across the street.  She made a small, almost imperceptible motion with her hand, and then began making her way down the street.  Kenzi grabbed Donovan by the sleeve of his coat and led him in a different direction, taking a parallel route to Miki’s, but with a block in between them.  Finally their paths crossed again, at a one-way street that forked into two.

“Hand it over,” Donovan said gruffly.

Miki shot him an incredulous look, seeming for a moment as if she was unsure whether she ought to laugh.  “Where’d you find this guy?” she asked, turning her attention to Kenzi.

“A warehouse.  Did you get it?”

“Of course I did.  Who do you think you’re talking to?”

“So?” Donovan interjected, his voice forceful and impatient.

Miki held up a hand in his direction.  “I’m not dealing with you,” she said without looking at him.  “It was a tougher job than I had anticipated,” she told Kenzi.  She laughed strangely.  “I had to drug him…”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she replied, laughing again.  “Fae drugs, not human drugs,” she added.  “Come on, we shouldn’t do this on the street.”

She turned and led them into a building, taking them up to the penthouse floor.  Donovan had hesitated to enter and Kenzi knew that he thought it was a trap, but she felt she knew better.  Miki wasn’t exactly ethical but she wouldn’t kill them.  She was okay – for a Dark fae.

“Yours?” Kenzi asked admiringly, looking up in awe at the vaulted ceilings.

“Yep,” she replied proudly.

“How’d you swing it?”

“Real estate scam.  Some of my best work,” she said, gesturing to the beautiful, spacious room.

For just a moment, Kenzi couldn’t help but wish that Bo had ended up with Miki.  If she had, they might not be living in a condemned building that could disintegrate into dust at any moment, but a world class mansion with servants to tend to their every need.

“Can we get on with this?” Donovan asked and then added, in a tone similarly rough, “Please.”

Miki gave Kenzi a look and then laid her bag down on a table and began removing things from it.  There was a small Greek-looking statue and a ring with a magnificent jewel at its centre.

“I took some time to do a little shopping,” Miki explained and then brought out the crystals and placed them in front of Donovan and Kenzi.

It wasn’t exactly what they had been expecting.  It was three small crystals of different colors that seemed beautiful but rather unremarkable where they lay on the table.

“Do you know how to use them?” Kenzi asked.

Miki nodded and arranged the crystals into a triangle, motioning for Donovan to move so that he wasn’t blocking the light.  As she placed the tips together at the top, an image appeared hovering above it, a high-definition hologram which showed Val and a Dark fae man in all their glory.

“Whoa,” Kenzi laughed after having watched for a moment.  “They didn’t waste any time, did they?”

“I didn’t even know that was possible…” Donovan declared, staring slack-jawed.

“It might not be – for humans,” Miki muttered.

When it was over Kenzi disassembled the crystals and stuck them in her own bag.  “How much do I owe you?”

Miki shrugged.  “Let’s just say you owe me one.  In situations like this I generally find a favor to be repaid later more useful than money handed over now,” she said, holding out her hand.

“Absolutely not,” Donovan snapped, trying to prevent Kenzi from shaking Miki’s hand.

Kenzi gave him a look and then pushed him back and took Miki’s hand.  “Deal.”

After they’d left, and once they were safely out of Dark territory, Donovan turned on her with a furious expression, venting the anger that had been steadily building inside of him ever since they first ventured over the border.  “I can’t believe you just made a deal with a Dark fae…”

“The world isn’t black and white, Donovan.  You should know that.”  She turned away and then suddenly spun back around.  “And don’t act like you own me or speak for me.  This is never going to work if you keep that up.”

He looked abashed and glanced down at his feet.  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.  “I just… would rather not see you get killed, if I can help it.”

She cocked her head to the side and placed the palm of her hand against his cheek.  “Sometimes,” she said, “you’re almost sweet.”  She smiled.  “Now, let’s call Val and collect.”  As she picked up her phone, her expression suddenly changed.

“What’s the matter?”

“Ten missed calls from Bo.  That can’t be good…”

Bo and Lauren sat facing each other across a table in a diner, Bo sitting with her back against the wall and with a clear view of the door.  They’d gotten in the car and sped away from the resort, only to realize that they didn’t know where to go.

“We could go home,” Lauren suggested.  “At least then we’d have some backup…”

“But we would need backup forever,” Bo pointed out.  “Unless you swore fealty to the new Ash, who we know absolutely nothing about.”  She shook her head.  “No, that’s no good…”

“What other choice do we have?”

“We can run,” Bo said confidently.  “We’ll go someplace far away, someplace they can’t find us.  We’ll be safe and we’ll be happy…”

“Do you really think there’s a place we could go where the Dark wouldn’t be able to find us?”

“Yes,” she said, though she was not quite so certain.

“And that’s really what you’d be running from?”

Bo sat up a little straighter, a little more defensively.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Bo,” Lauren said softly, “what happened back there… you were…”

“It was an intense situation.  I didn’t lose control,” she insisted.  “I just… it happened so fast.  I would have done anything to save you.”

Lauren gave her a very direct and challenging look, which Bo held without blinking.  Finally Lauren said, “Okay.  So we run…”

“Great.”

“What about Kenzi?”

Bo faltered, realizing of a sudden that she could never just abandon Kenzi. At the very least, she would have to go home to collect her and she wouldn’t be able to leave Lauren alone, not under these conditions.

“And Trick?” Lauren added.  “You searched so long for your family…”

“I know,” Bo said, closing her eyes for a moment.  Home really was home, the only place she had ever felt that she even remotely belonged, amongst people she belonged to and who belonged to her.  But she would give it up, if she had to.

“Let’s go back,” Lauren said.  “Let’s fight, let’s try.  We have to at least try, don’t you think?”

Bo reached across the table and took Lauren’s hand, squeezing it.  “If I lose you…”

“We’ll find a way,” Lauren declared.  “We always do.”

They looked at each other for an endless minute and then Lauren smiled, trying to be reassuring.  “Home?” she asked.

Bo nodded.  “Home.”

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Chat Away

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