Close, but not quite the cigar. The most difficult sale in the world is buying into your self. As in becoming aware of, believing in, and making the conscious decision to embrace your dreams, visions, values, passions, and gifts, the affairs of your heart and soul – and bringing them to life. Otherwise known as your life’s mission – this is the very reason for your existence here on planet Earth. But why should this be difficult? After all, it’s only yourself, right?

Do you remember the first question on your SAT exam? The one that asked you to identify your deepest passions, talents, and gifts? Or the second? How do you create a plan to bring your passions, talents, and gifts to life? Or question number three? What support do you need from others – your parents, peers, educators, local businesses, community, society, and government – to successfully harness and leverage your passions, talents, and gifts for the greater good in the world around you? OK, let’s get real here. Maybe the questions on the SAT weren’t framed exactly that way…

One only needs to look at our educational system to understand why the decision to buy into one’s self is so difficult to make. From the time you walked into the first grade, you’ve been spoon-fed a cafeteria full of what others think you should know, held captive by the grading standards of right and wrong/A’s and F’s/pass and fail, cajoled into meeting the expectations and demands of others who don’t really know who you are, and told to jump through countless standardized testing hoops erected by folks who have never set foot in your classroom, much less been in your shoes.

In computer-speak, by the time you graduated from high school, most of what had been downloaded on to your hard drive had very little to do with the pre-installed software that existed on your hard drive prior to first being delivered to the classroom. You’ve been sold on something, for sure. Just not yourself.

From teachers who expend inordinate amounts of time, energy, and effort trying to help their students successfully jump through the hoops and make the grade, to educational administrators who apply unyielding pressure (while at the same time, receiving the same pressure from above) to insure that their teachers perform to these same standards, it’s not that the educational system isn’t trying. It’s just that the educational system is simply going about it the wrong way.

Which answer would you choose for the following question?

An educational system in which teachers are overworked, underpaid, undervalued, under-resourced, pressured to perform, and forced to teach to standards as set from above, will produce?
A. An overwhelming majority of highly passionate and fully engaged students who are set up for long-term success and fulfillment in their lives, careers, and businesses
B. A small percentage of high achievers, a larger percentage of students who methodically jump through the hoops, a smaller percentage who barely scrape by, a 30 percent drop-out rate, and for those who find employment after graduation, an overwhelming majority being dispassionate about the work they ultimately perform

If you guessed “B”, well done.

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then there appears to be some major superhighways currently under construction within our school systems.

It’s not to say that the blame lies solely within our educational systems. Truth be told, this is just a low-hanging fruit ripe for the picking. In fact, the mechanisms which interfere with buying into self are as endemic to our culture as the day is long. One needs to look no further than our political framework, economic climate, and our lifestyle choices to see this dysfunction in action. Some of the more recent highlights include a national debt of nearly 15 trillion dollars, an unemployment rate of over 9 percent (and an underemployment rate of over 18 percent), and a staggering 50 percent of the U.S. population expected to be diabetic or pre-diabetic by the year 2020. Carloads of great intentions for sure, and plenty of fodder for multi-car collisions on the road ahead.

So how do folks come to realize that they’ve failed to buy into themselves? Do they just wake up one day and say “I won’t get fooled again!!!”? Not usually. The realization tends to come from a great many directions, including experiencing a difficult midlife crisis, job burnout, the loss of a job and the sense of identity that went with it, depression, unyielding stress and anxiety, hitting a bottom with an addiction, the onset of poor health, and a prolonged lack of meaning, direction, focus, and fulfillment at work and in life.

Regardless of how the light bulb is illuminated, when you’ve played by all the rules and discovered that you can’t win the game, it can be a disheartening experience. And there’s the rub.

Because when the deeper recesses of one’s being have been encroached upon, there’s a powerful opportunity for introspection, reflection, and redirection. And in that moment, an opportunity to buy in to self above all else.

Is it an easy choice? Of course not. And definitely not for the faint of heart (no pun intended). But with proper guidance, direction, planning, passion, and persistence, it can be done, will be done, and with time, is done exceptionally well.

My sense is that life is a gift, gratitude is the key to its deliverance, and that love is at its core. Perhaps this is what makes buying into one’s self so difficult. There’s simply no selling involved in it at all.

Here’s to your success!

Bob DeMers, President
Coaching Works
Charlotte, North Carolina

bobdemers@coaching-works.net
http://www.coaching-works.net