[/caption]

Dennis Cole when he was a hottie

“ AGING ACTOR WHAT DO I DO WITH MYSELF SYNDROME “

I have seen the “Aging Actor What Do With Myself Syndrome” way too many times in Hollywood and it is is tragic! I saw it with my former neighbor, actor Dennis Cole, who finally died last week after years of self destruction. Now, I am seeing the same thing happening with David Hasselhoff. It scares me! If this man does not get out of denial and get the help he needs for his alcohol issues, he will die a horrible and lonely death just like Dennis Cole.

This “ Aging Actor What Do I Do With Myself Syndrome” happens to many actors who have been at the top of their game. They were in demand when they were younger. People adored them. All doors opened and they couldn’t get enough attention. Their phone didn’t stop ringing. Their agents and managers were attentive and bent over backwards for them. They could get them on the phone at a moment’s notice. They were on TV show after TV show or film after film. They directed, produced, ventured out into new arenas and were accepted. They sang and danced and appeared in theatre and did whatever they wanted to do. People flocked to them and around them. They had relationships, married and had kids . While some married again and again, life was still great.

Then, as what happens to all of us in life, life suddenly isn’t so great. Things change. It could be a bad divorce like in the case of David Hasselhoff, or a severe tragedy, as in case Dennis Cole, where his son was murdered.

Instead of going into therapy and really dealing with things, these men go into denial and then into self destruct mode. They have no coping skills, because early on everything was literally handed to them on a silver platter. So now that tragedy and discomfort strike, they aren’t as equipped to handle it like most of us. We go through our ups and downs and learn how to deal with our disappointments because we haven’t been catered to like these men. As a result, they have no clue what to do. So they turn their pain and discomfort inward and begin a course of self destruction.

They often drown themselves in pills or drugs or both. They end up doing awful things when they are under the influence like being mean and belligerent and fighting with people. They even beat people up or get arrested for violent acts.

DENNIS COLE WAS A HOLLWOOD BABE BACK IN THE DAY

Even before his son was tragically killed, Dennis Cole seemed pretty miserable living in L.A. He was getting older and there weren’t a lot of leading roles of aging heartthrobs. Back in the day, when he was younger, he was considered to be one of Hollywood’s hotties. He had a glorious career early on, and was a staple on every major popular TV show back in the 70’s.

On one of his gigs as a guest star on Charlie’s Angels, he met and later married Jacquelyn Smith. They divorced after 3 years. I imagine that he was pretty competitive with her and when his star didn’t shine as brightly as hers, there was trouble in paradise. After they divorced he did well for many years until he got older and more weathered looking. It was hard for him to make it in LA, so he was often out of town doing some theatrical or musical gig. In fact, whenever he was in town I would always hear him practicing his trumpet playing.

When I knew him, he was never able to get it together career wise as an actor. A lot of it had to do with the fact that there aren’t a lot of roles for aging actors. The grim reality is that Hollywood caters to the youth market. And there were even less roles for angry aging actors who seemed to have a chip on their shoulder and who seemed to fight with just about everyone, including those who could have hired them.

HE SEEMED TO FINALLY HAVE IT ALL- OR DID HE?

When Dennis moved away from LA and got married to a beautiful lady named Ree, I was really happy for him. She wasn’t in show business , which I thought was a very good thing for Dennis. Now there would be no competition- so I thought!. She was a real estate agent. He moved to Florida to be with her and he got out of show business.

Together, with his new wife he went into the real estate business and they became business partners (bad idea – completion thing ). Regardless, I thought that perhaps now Dennis could finally find some inner peace and true happiness. Ree even had a young son, so Dennis automatically became a dad again. Since he loved his deceased son so much, God gave him another chance to have a son and to be a father to a boy.

WHO IS THIS MAN?

But despite all of these good things- a new and beautiful wife, a new career, a new environment away from L.A., a new home, and even a new son, his demons came out . It was obvious that Dennis didn’t seek help for his demons. If he did, we would never have seen the absolutely horrific and unrecognizable mug shot photo taken after he was arrested for domestic abuse. It made me sick to my stomach!

This was not the Dennis I remembered- my handsome, sparkly eyed, well groomed, and well spoken neighbor whom I used to see in the hallway throwing out his garbage or getting some sun out by the pool. This was not the same guy who showed up in star like fashion at one of my book parties or whom I used to run into and exchange pleasantries with at the many black tie events and Lakers games we attended.

This was a complete stranger- a bloated, puffy eyed and unkempt man with a deadened, dull gaze. I never would have recognized him as the same person I once knew. After seeing that mug shot photo and reading that he was involved in abusing that lovely woman he married, I got even more nauseated.

I prayed that maybe this public humiliation would be the catalyst that would force him to finally sort himself out and get the help he obviously needed. But he didn’t get help, or if he did, he didn’t continue to get help. Almost two years to the day of his domestic abuse arrest, he took some prescription drugs and drank alcohol. He went to the ER in a Florida hospital on a Friday and died on a Sunday. It was too late!

SIMILARITIES BETWEEN DENNIS AND DAVID SIMILARITIES BETWEEN DENNIS AND DAVID

But it’s not too late for David Hasslehoff! He too appears to be suffering from the same syndrome as Dennis Cole. Equally gorgeous in his youth, David went from one hot show to the next- from Knight Rider to Baywatch. Like Dennis, David ventured into music as well. David became a pop sensation in Germany. They loved him. Like Dennis, he also had alcohol issues. Like Dennis, he too suffered loss and tragedy- his marriage ending in a very nasty divorce. Just like Dennis, David is no stranger to ER’s. Like Dennis, he became belligerent and hostile when drinking . And like Dennis, he was in complete denial until he ended up in the ER. I only pray that this is where the similarities end and that David does not end up in a similar position as Dennis- dead!

GET OUT OF DENIAL DAVID HASSELHOFF!

For the fifth time this year, 911 is called and David goes to the ER. He then comes home and there is always some cockamamie BS story about an ear infection or hamburger indigestion or a “seizure.”

For God’s sake, David, Get out of denial! You are an alcoholic and you are using! Just look at the tape where you are slobbering over your hamburger as you are lying on the floor and slurring your words.

Look at the disgusting tape of you on TMZ when you just flew back from Canada. You look higer than a kite in my opinion and Albert, your handler was fanning a paper at the papps to keep the press from seeing you in your sorry state. So don’t give us that “ seizure “ bullshit! If you are an epileptic and taking anti seizure medication, what the hell are you doing mixing it with alcohol? Do you have a death wish? Obviously to do!

Look at what you have done to your precious gorgeous daughters. Don’t collapse your hatred for ex wife Pamela, on to these innocent girls. They don’t deserve this. You have caused them so much anguish with your selfish and sick behavior. Get your head out of the sand.

No one will think less of you if you admit you are an alcoholic and are out of control like you showed recently in the UK. In fact, we will think more highly of you if you admit it and do something about it. Get into rehab IMMEDIATELY! You are killing yourself.

I wish that Cedars could keep you in there on 5150 so you can get evaluated. To me it looks like you are a danger to yourself and killing yourself. You need psychiatric help ASAP. You need to find out why you are relapsing so frequently. You need to clear out some inner demons.

WE LOVE YOU DAVID- BUT YOU NEED TO LOVE YOU!

You seem like such a wonderful guy. We all see your compassion and caring for those contestants on America Has Talent. You are so kind and caring- especially to the losers. The audience loves you. They love to hear you sing.

Your daughters love you or they wouldn’t be calling 911 on your behalf all the time. Instead they’d let you die. But all of that doesn’t matter. Everyone in the world can love you, but unless you love you, it is pointless.

Don’t get into the “Aging Actor What Do With Myself Syndrome.” There is plenty to do with you! You are only 57 for goodness sakes. You have a lot of life ahead of you and a lot to look forward to. You are so likeable and fun and a great performer. You can produce and direct and develop other talent. Most of all you can be a better father for your daughters so they won’t have to feel like the parent and call 9ll all the time.

Stop this self destruction right now! Get into a 12 step program and into rehab and make it work! We don’t want to lose you like we lost Dennis. www.drlillianglass.com

Kluge Hans (better known as “Clever Hans”) was a most amazing horse!  He had the ability to add, subtract, multiply and divide by tapping out the answers with his hoof.  He could tell time and name people.  He could spell and solve problems involving musical harmony.

His owner, German mathematician Von Osten, began showing him to the public in 1891, and for years, Clever Hans amazed even the stoutest critics.  The horse could perform his tricks for randomly selected people with or without his master present.  It seemed impossible, but no one could deny the horse’s accuracy.

It wasn’t until 1904 when researcher Oskar Pfungst finally figured out how Clever Hans did it.  By testing the horse with a variety of constraints, he learned that Clever Hans was not so clever if he couldn’t see his questioner.  Also, if the questioner did not know the answer to a question, neither did the horse.

Following a hunch, Pfungst started observing the questioners more than the horse.  Soon, he discovered that Clever Hans was responding to subtle non-verbal cues from the people asking the questions.  They tended to tense their muscles until Clever Hans tapped out the correct answer with his hoof.  When he did, the questioner relaxed, signaling to the horse that it had reached the correct answer.  The horse could detect slight movements of a person’s eyebrows or a change in head position or an approving facial expression.  Clever Hans could even pick out a slight dilation of the questioner’s nostrils.

In the end, Clever Hans was most clever when people expected and wanted him to be clever.  Their anticipation of his correct answer provided him all the non-verbal feedback he needed to reassure their trust in his abilities.

Think about the implications for our human relationships.  If a horse is perceptive enough to read our non-verbals with such accuracy – even non-verbals that we are oblivious to sending – isn’t it possible that other people can pick up on them, too (if not consciously, then subconsciously)?  If you have high expectations for someone, it gets communicated in more than your praise.  If you have low expectations of someone, it leaks into every interaction you have with that person.  What you think about a person often creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in your relationship.

When you have negative expectations about someone, you can try to fake your feelings when you are around them, but most people will see through your plastic efforts.  The only real way to make sure that you don’t communicate negative expectations is to change how you feel about that person.  In order to do that, you are going to have to change the story that you tell yourself about them.  You need a positive story to replace the negative one.  This is much easier said than done, but here are some suggestions:

• Assume positive motive. Maybe the person is the way he is or acts the way he does, because there is a good reason for it.  Maybe he means well and is doing the best he knows how to do.
• Consider that there may be extenuating circumstances. There may be factors outside of her control – things like the way the person was raised, the limitations on what they know or are able to do, the situation that they are currently in or other people and their behavior toward her.
• Examine your own accountability. Is there anything that you are doing that is making your interactions with this person worse?
• Get more information. Don’t make up your mind about someone or about the way someone behaves without first making sure that you have enough information to make an opinion.  Legion are the embarrassing stories where someone reacted to a small amount of information and later learned that they were missing the most important parts of the story.
• Lower your expectations. If the person can’t or just won’t change, lower your expectations of him.  You will be happier, because he won’t let you down all the time.
• Tell a bigger story. Maybe your story is too small.  For example, you are distracted by your teenager’s sloppy appearance and can’t help but comment on it each time you see her.  But how important is how neat she looks compared to the health of your relationship with her?  Maybe you could tell a story that says the health of your relationship is bigger and more important than your irritation over her appearance, and you are going to overlook her clothing choices in order to preserve open doors of communication with her.
• Pray for the person. Nothing is more effective at changing your heart toward another person than prayer.  Even if you struggle to be sincere with your prayers, make a commitment to pray for him or her until God gives you His heart for that person.

Change what you think (your story) about those around you, and you will change the relationship.  You might even find that your negative story has been the whole reason for the problems between you.  Change your story; change your world.

With all that has gone on lately, can you imagine if a terrorist crashed the White House party and killed the President, the first Lady, the Vice President, the Speaker of the House, the Indian Prime Minister and everyone else that was at the party? This could have easily happened and could been a horrific reality!

That is why I say Reality Show Wanna Be (Real Housewives of DC) Michaele Tarique and her husband, Tareq Salahi,( who by the way is also a member of the American Task Force for Palestine ) MUST be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Secret Service spokesman, Jim Mackin says an investigation is now happening. I say forget the investigation! We already have the evidence on tape. I say arrest these two and let them stay in prison for a long, long time. That is the only reality show they should be getting.

I say there is no excuse for this behavior! There was no excuse for Balloon Dad’s entitlement and now there is no excuse for these White House Gate Crasher’s entitlement ! They need to pay a huge penalty for this Sociopathic Behavior and serve as an example to everyone in the world that this self entitlement and narcissism cannot and will not be tolerated!

THIS STAR IN HER OWN MIND TURNS BACK TO GET SOME CAMERA TIME AND PHOTOS

Look at Michaela Salahi’s body language. Look how starved she is for camera attention. Her husband was ready to walk into the room for the dinner, but this narcissist turned around And went back to the cameras to pose for photos. You can see the desperation in her face and the hunger for attention as she leaves her husband’s side to turn around and pose. Look at how high she holds her head. It’s like she really believes she’s a star.

TERRORISTS CAN LOOK LIKE ANYONE

This dinner was to honor Indian Prime Minister Monmohan Singh. With all that is happening between India and Pakistan, the Prime Minister could have been an open target for an assassination. These two could have easily been terrorists. Terrorists don’t necessarily wear turbans and have long scraggly beards. They can be anyone. That is why everyone is screened at airports – even little old ladies in wheelchairs. They can be slender, attractive blonds like Michaela and they can be light skinned clean shaven men like her husband, Tareq.

In fact another Tareq, Tareq Hassan killed a lot of people at Ft. Hood and he didn’t look like a terrorist. He was clean shaven a member of the US Military. Whether he is technically a terrorist or not, he ended up killing a lot of people like terrorists do. He created terror so he is a terrorist in my definition. The bottom line of what I am saying is that they can look like anyone.

THE AGING CHEERLEADER AND HER LITIGIOUS OWN MOTHER SUING HUSBAND WANTING TO BE AROUND FAME, GLITZ AND GLAMOUR

These two self entitled losers are so desperate to be stars, that they will stop at nothing to get attention and to try to get close to and hobnob with the rich and famous. This ex 44 year old former Redskins Cheerleader, was apparently auditioning for the Real Wives of DC as there was a camera and makeup person following her around DC all day. Apparently, NBC news anchor Brian Williams got a little suspicious of her when he saw a makeup artist combing her hair and patting her husband’s face down as they had a camera trailing behind them. Since this couple wasn’t anyone he would have known that would have merited such attention, he wondered what was up!

Tareq Salahi, the husband of this boundaryless duo is several years his wanna be wife’s junior. He apparently is involved in a lot of lawsuits where he is the defendant as well as the plaintiff. One of the lawsuits where he was the plaintiff involved his own mother. Apparently, he sued his own mother to gain control of a winery, which he later ran into financial ruin.

This litigious wanna be probably ran into financial ruin by donating so much of his money from the winery to the campaigns of the politicians with whom he can be as seen glad-handing, many of whom are on his Facebook page.

In fact, his wanna be wife is not a stranger to glad handling and who knows what else handling. In fact, look at her body language where she poses with VP Biden. It is clearly inappropriate as she leans in with her head cocked towards the VP. Notice how Biden’s head is straight up, mesning that he is being proper and appropriate with. Look at how she places an open hand over his heart on his chest. If that isn’t a RED FLAG, I don’t know what else is!

This is the body language you show to someone you know intimately like your lover where you put your open hand on their heart. You don’t use this body language with a happily married Vice President. This way too intimate and disrespecting of the office of VP pose, indicates that she is being very invasive and inappropriate, as she clearly demonstrates has no boundaries whatsoever.

But before these two boundaryless wanna- be Sociopaths go to prison they will be interviewed by Larry King, where they will have a chance to speak about their egregious behavior. Hopefully they will say something to further incriminate themselves. And even more hopeful, there will be authorities waiting outside the studio at CNN to arrest them and take them away in police cars. I hope that I am in the CNN Studios taping my Nancy Grace segment for her show the samre day these two creatures so up, so I can witness it up close and personal! www.drlillianglass

At Christmas time BScene brings you free things

Here are the next three upcoming free BScene Events.

Bscene is every other Tuesday at Westwerks 41-43 Portland Road, Hove BN3 5DQ. 6 – 8pm

Secrets of Successful Selling – Week 7 Tues 1st December

David Foster of David Foster Associates will be running a highly interactive and entertaining workshop the title being “an introduction to the consultative sales approach”. In the session you will learn about and discuss, how you can make it easier for your prospects and customers to buy from you, rather than a competitor. You will learn how to increase business and make more sales.

Time management, productivity, efficiency in your life and work – Week 8 Tues 15th December

Local entrepreneur Simon Scott shares techniques he’s learned, used and applied with great success from the book ‘Getting Things Done’ by David Allen (recommended reading before the event – if you have time! ; ))

Body Language – Week 9 Tues January 12th

With over 30 years experience as a theatre director, actor and teacher, Mike Carter brings a refreshingly practical approach to his Body Language workshops. His sessions concentrate on understanding and adapting our own body language so that it is always appropriate and never misleading. He also gives clear and useful advice on how to interpret the body language of others.

In the Court of Public Opinion Toxic Father, Toxic Snitch, and Toxic Traitor Michael Lohan received the death sentence for his emotional murder of Lindsay and his now fatal backstabbing of his former friend Jon Gosslein. When you didn’t think Lohan could not go any lower for selling out his daughter, he showed us that he could go as low as possible if the price was right!

Jon Gosselin naively never saw it coming. A lot of people told him that he was keeping bad company this summer by hanging out with Michael Lohan, but he refused to listen to anyone. Now he is paying the price big time! Lie down with dogs you get fleas and lie down with “dawgs” you get sleeze!

MICHAEL GOT HIS ‘DIVORCED DAD’S” MONEY FROM JON GOSSELIN

Now it is so obvious what this Toxic snake scum did to Jon. Jon Gosselin was no longer interested in Michael’s hair brained “Divorced Dads” project nor was he interested in Michael’s other hair brained scheme that he and Jon participate in Celebrity Boxing. Besides, with the TLC suit against him and vice versa, there was no way he could participate in the project, even if he wanted to. Michael could no longer make money off of Jon, so he figured out a way to make some money off of Jon anyway.

Lohan sold Jon out via tapes he secretly made of him and threw him under the bus. He planned this all along, as evidenced of his secretly taping Jon. He used the tape as an insurance policy, in case Jon backed out of Michael’s project. He didn’t care that it would make Jon look horrible. It did! It also made Michael look even worse!

Also, as long as Jon is with Michael Heller, Lohan apparently gets a piece of any of Jon’s financial action. Evidently, he Jon to brought to Mike Heller, so as Lohan is quoted as saying “ Michael (Heller) had an obligation to pay me a percentage of what he made.”

TR is a joint venture of Lohan’s company and Mike Heller’s company, but Heller never signed the deal after his dad Mark Heller, Jon’s lawyer, advised him not to. So no doubt Michael has stopped getting paid, if in fact he was paid at all.

Toxic blabber mouth Lohan is quoted as saying” Heller “was paying me all along, which basically proves I have a deal. Why was he paying me checks and giving my wife and my son checks?” Then Lohan added that some payments he got for helping get Jon gigs was in cash. So now you are starting to see the clear picture and it all stinks!

GET THIS PHONY BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN BACK WHERE HE BELONGS- BEHIND BARS!

Any person who can sell out their daughter is the worst creature alive. There is no justification for that! No matter how poor you are or how much money you need, go to a soup kitchen, work at McDonalds, wash windows, or do anything else but sell audiotape recordings of your daughter’s conversations and your now your friend’s conversations to the press. Anyone who can pimp someone out and throw them under the bus for money is the devil incarnate!

This is a nefarious and evil mind that would do something like that. I never want to hear about how he is a Born Again Christian and how he found Jesus. He found Lucifer! He found the Devil and this is how he has lead his life since he got out of prison. Once a Toxic Sociopath, always a Toxic Sociopath! No one who has found Jesus or who is a Born Again Christian would EVER act like Michael Lohan. His actions are unforgiveable! Let him try his snitching behavior in prison and see what happens to him.

He may very well be facing jail time according to TMZ, for the recordings he made of Dina and Lindsay, considering they were made in 2005. Dina had a protective order against him at the time, barring any communication with him via telephone until 2011.

CONS LIKE MICHAEL LOHAN EVENTUALLY GET CONNED OR DO THEMSELVES IN

Lohan he has leaked his private conversations with Jon Gosselin over the internet and I ask why is there not a law against this in his state? If there is some loophole that can be found so he is charged with secretly taping other’s conversations, he needs to be charged with a crime and sent to jail forever. This where this nasty Toxic troublemaker belongs.

In my opinion, he is a Toxic Con Man. If there isn’t a law and if what he did is legal in his state, he will no doubt eventually trip himself up doing something else that is egregious. He’ll do another Con and do himself in just like OJ and Madoff did themselves in. No question about it. It is only a matter of time before this Toxic creature is behind bars. Mr. Lohan was convicted of assault in the past , which is a violent crime, and wad under parole supervision until February of 2009.”

DOES JON REALLY HAVE A SECRET SEX TAPE AND IF SO IS MICHAEL BEHIND IT?

Apparently Bodyguard Thomas Meinelt, was subpoenaed to testify in Jon’s court battle with TLC over his breach of contract. This body guard allegedly claimed he saw Jon’s secret sex tape. Jon’s ex-nanny, scorned. big mouth who jabbered to Radar on Line for days about how bad Jon was, alleged she heard about the Jon Gosselin sex tape as well.

She said that someone close to Jon ( Lohan?) paid for him to see a girl and flirt with him and it was filmed. If it does exist and if this is true and Lohan is behind it that would be yet another nail in Lohan’s coffin.

I strongly believe that no one should ever put this Toxic Loser on TV or in any magazine ever again. He needs to be shunned by all media as well as by his daughter. Then only time we should ever read about him if it is his obituary. He is a disgrace to any human being! Poor, poor, Lindsay for having this scum as a father. No wonder this poor girl has suffered so much.

NAIIVE JON NEEDED TO DO DILIGENCE WHEN IT CAME TO MICHAEL LOHAN

In the audiotape Michael made of Jon Jon Gosselin demonstrated that he wasn’t the best judge of character. Here is exactly what he told Michael Lohan on tape:
“And you know I always give everyone a second chance, I mean, honestly, I don’t really…I’ve known you a couple weeks, and I like you…you know, but I don’t even know your past, Michael,” he tells Lohan.
“Our relationship started a couple weeks ago. I don’t care about the past. I could care less. It’s the same with Hailey. She did all this s–t in college, but I didn’t know her then. Our relationship started May 4. You know, it’s like, it’s irrelevant to me. So, you know, that’s how I’m gonna go.”
That’s right, totally irrelevant. After all, why would it be helpful to inform yourself about someone’s past? It’s not like people repeat bad behavior or anything.
“His past, I’m like, ‘I don’t know about his past. I only know what you assholes write about him. It’s the same s–t you write about me, so why should I believe you?’” Gosselin continued on.
“They never say the good things. Never, cause the good things don’t sell. I’ve learned. I’m not stupid.”

Well Jon I wouldn’t call you stupid. I would call you naive. Being a public figure you MUST do diligence on everyone and you MUST care about their past. Look what happened to you. If you would have seen what a sleeze Michael Lohan was, you never would have gone into business with him. And if you would have done so after knowing how awful he was, then yes Jon we would all call you stupid. And here is a little dose of reality- When you said “It’s not like people repeat bad behavior or anything.” Guess what??? People DO REPEAT BAD BEHAVIOR, especially if they haven’t been in therapy. That means YOU Jon! So get your behind into therapy and don’t blab about it. Just do it and grow up! You have 8 kids to raise. They need to be raised by a non naive non stupid MAN. So step up! www.drlillianglass.com

I read this book just couple or days ago, and still feel thrilled due to the information that I got from this book.
I can’t wait to share with you all what I got from the book.

The book called “The Three Laws Of Performance” The authors are Steve Zaffron who is CEO of Vanto Group, an organizational performance consultancy, and a board member of Landmark Education. Dave Logan, Ph.D., co-founder of the CultureSync consultancy.

The chapter that I wanna share is about How A Situation Occurs Arises in Language.
This law focuses on the importance of understanding how people communicate beyond the spoken word. Body language, facial expressions and voice inflections mean as much as words. Individuals can say one thing but transmit an entirely different message through what they leave unsaid. Dysfunction is guaranteed when groups of co-workers refuse to speak or deal honestly with each other – or management – and swallow their feelings.

Opening the lines of communication doesn’t mean spouting off and expressing every thought in your head. It means speaking frankly about your concerns and discussing issues that affect performance. Bottling up your thoughts creates disorder and leaves no space for new ways of thinking. “Clearing out the clutter” is one way to open the door to better performance. Learning to identify “rackets” is another gateway to interpreting language and improving communication. Rackets are negative behavioral patterns that typically have four components:

1. A persistent complaint – “Bob never gets his assignments completed on time.”

2. A reaction – The complainer gets exasperated at the grievance or withdraws.

3. A continual “payoff” – The complainer benefits from feeling superior.

4. An emotional cost of racket behavior – Everyone is unhappy and relationships erode in the face of criticism and contention.

People engaged in rackets pretend that everything is fine when actually they lack closeness and amaraderie. Usually, people cannot identify the payoff and cost of a racket. They sense a threat, so they try to protect their territory and maintain control.

They feel they must always be right and they avoid any steps that could shift power to others. To eliminate rackets, voice the unsaid. People must examine the past and reframe the “game” to move ahead.

Read More About The Three Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life (J-B Warren Bennis Series)

While Jon spoke to “friend,” Toxic Judas Michael Lohan, in confidence, Jon revealed what was really going on in his mind- “pedophiles.” To dramatically make the point that TLC should have paid his kids for using them, he makes the following most disgusting comment:

“I mean, I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it? It’s disgusting.”

Disgusting????? WHAT IS DISUSTING IS his putting his kids out there for every pedophile on the planet to see, having those deep thoughts within the recesses of his mind, and not taking action and getting them off the air sooner.

The word “pedophile” speaks volumes. But if you can look past that word, you’ll see what Jon is really saying and what he is really concerned about- the children never got paid for being exploited!

How interesting THAT would be their father’s concern! So, if the kids were to make big bucks, and paid by TLC, the fact that “pedophiles” were tuning in wouldn’t have bothered him as much? It really shows you how Jon thinks and it is not healthy thinking! Just the fact that he had the thought the show would cater to pedophiles should have been enough to get them off the air much sooner, in my view.

I really don’t think that Jon had any thoughts about child pornography when he first began the show. He was naiive at 27 and thinking of how he could get money to feed these little mouths. I am sure that this was the last thing on his mind at the time.

But then I am sure someone must have brought this topic to his attention, seeing that Jon and Kate and TLC see what is out there on the internet about them.

I think that when Jon found out about it he may have been conflicted. I’ll bet when he found out a part of him wanted them off asap, but greed and the good life took over. The kids were too much of a cash cow, so he would go into denial, just like he did in his entire relationship with Kate, until lately.

KATE COULD PROBABLY CARE LESS ABOUT PEDOPHILES IF IT DIDN’T INVOLVE HER

As far as Kate goes, in my opinion, she appears to be too narcissistic to care about her kids being served up as excitement for pedophiles. It is about her and in her mind the the kids are no doubt, little extensions of her.

Remember, one day she said she wished she was Asian? That shows how she is so enmeshed in their identities. I am certain that Kate’s concern was money and not pornography.

TLC CARES ABOUT EYEBALLS, EVEN IF THEY BELONG TO PEDOPHILES

And of course TLC’s concern is viewership. I am sure they could care less as to how many child pornography perverts were watching- as long as they had eyeballs, which translated into ratings and revenue. That is the bottom line for ALL networks. Who watches is not their concern as long as a show is watched !

THE POWER OF WORD ASSOCIATION – PEDOPHILE + GOSSELIN KIDS = TLC

There is no question that words can tarnish your views on things – especially powerful words. They can taint your views by associating negativity with an issue.

For instance if you are eating licorice and someone says “ugh that smells like burnt tar, ” even though you may ignore that statement, many might subconsciously associate burnt tar with licorice. So the next time you are offered a piece of black licorice, you may turn it down because of the association. It’s called imprinting.

Advertisers know this concept better than anyone. They know the magic of positive imprinting and use it to manipulate millions to buy a product. If you see a sexy woman selling a car or a hamburger or a celebrity hawking a product, you subconsciously associate it with the person, It has a positive connotation,so you buy it.

I experienced this a few weeks ago when I was in Orlando at Epcot. Who wants to see a boring exhibit on Energy? But if you put Ellen Degeneres’s name on it- Ellen from Nemo fame, kids are now interested. Parents are also interested when they associate it with the same Ellen. But this time they associate it with her daytime talk fame. So everyone flocks to the Energy exhibit because of beloved Ellen. If it was just plain Energy Exhibit who would care? So you get my point!

Tword “pedophile” used in connection with TLC can have the opposite effect. Instead of smiling and going “Ahhh- Ellen- Nemo- talk show- Disney—Energy Exhibit,” you crinkle up your nose and pull your lower lip down in disgust and think “Ewww- Jon and Kate- children- pedophiles- TLC.” So as positively as Ellen is associated with an Energy Exhibit is as negatively “ Gosslin children appearing on TLC is associated with pedophiles watching the show and enjoying themselves.

You may say this is nonsense. But it is the same concept of someone saying don’t think of ” a pink elephant.” What are you thinking of? –A pink elephant! The reason I say this is I was looking at TLC’s replacement show Table for 12 about the Hayes family and their multiples. They look like a pleasant enough family with lots of kids- kids od all ages, that might be of interest to viewers –including pedophiles. While it just crossed my mind for a split second- the fact that it did cross my mind, courtesy of Jon, made me wonder if anyone else had that fleeting thought.

If I had that fleeting thought, how many others had the same fleeting thought. So inadvertently, Jon really got back at TLC like he wanted to do all along. Yes, they are suing him and he is suing them back for 5 million dollars. But this is worse- public perception. Even though it was not his doing directly, he may have indirectly created some cause for concern for TLC with regard to their branding. I am sure they don’t want to be labeled as the network that is associated with putting kids on the air that pedophiles watch.

THE WONDERFUL WORK OF PAUL PETERSON PROTECTING KIDS IN THE MEDIA

It also makes you think about kids on TV and in show business in general. That is why I am so appreciative of the wonderful work my dear friend and former child actor, Paul Peterson is doing with his group, Minor Consideration which speaks out against children being exploited by the media.

He has seen the disasters that happen with child actors for decades. I think all child actors should have psychologists in place on the set available to them 24/7, They are desperately need to help children and teens cope with the pressures of celebrity.

PRAY FOR THE HAYES IN TLC’S TABLE FOR 12

I hope this sweet looking Hayes family doesn’t get messed up like the Gosselin’s. I hope that Mr. and Mrs. Hayes stay together and don’t end up fighting in the press like Jon and Kate. And most of all, I hope TLC has learned from their past error and hire a therapist to be there to help address any issues that come about. As far as I am concerned, that is the only responsible thing to do. www.drlillianglass.com

>a href=”http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.wordpress.com/files/2009/11/oreilly-taken-aback-1.jpg”>
Bill O Reilly was definitely not smiling at all when he met his doppelganger, the new Sesame Street puppet “Spill O’ Reilly,” who appeared on his show. In fact Bill’s BODY LANGUAGE indicated that he looked rather shocked at the Sessame Street puppet who mocked him spot on. Bill O’Reilly is only used to people fauwning over him, kissing up to him, or agreeing with him when they appear on his show, otherwise he lets them have it and goes off on them. So this situation was extremely uncomfortable for him as his facial language, body language, and tone of voice indicated throughout the segment. He clearly wasn’t used to anyone mocking him with such accuracy and it freaked him out!

As soon as puppet “Spill O Reilly” pops up in the guest chair across from Bill O’ Reilly, the first thing you hear Bill off camera saying is “WOW!” in a tone that indicates he is taken aback with what he sees. Maybe he is put off by the familiar little tuft of hair the puppet’s head, complete with a sidepart.

Then Bill hears the puppet’s loud, harsh sounding voice as the puppet obnoxiously shows his ego and says, while looking directly into the camera “ Where’s My camera? “ The puppet then beckons to the camera,” Come here ! Come! Close in ! using Bill O’ Reilly like command terms.

Then the puppet says in a loud obnoxious tone “This is My show! Welcome to Duh No Spew Zone! I’m Spill O Reilly. Then in mirroring Bill O’ Reilly’s body language, Spill O Reilly agressiviely extends his arm out in front of him and in O’Reilly like blue collar sounding diction, dropping off his” ing” endings and substituting his t and d sounds for th sounds, says:
”Now I know lately deres been controversey about Grouches on Sesame Street makin fun uh Fox News but I wancha ta know as a proud thridy somthin flag waving Grouch, I can tell ya dis” We Grouches are todally unbiased. We are faya (fair) and BALANCED (shouting loudly) completely non partisan. But cha wanna know da trut (truth) about us Grouches? Dis is itWE CANT STAND ANYBODY!

Bill is visibly taken aback as he leans back in his chair and is shock at what he hears and sees of himself being parodied.

Then the real Bill immediately licks his lips in discomfort. He is clearly not the star of this segment and doesn’t like what he sees.

</a

Now Bill is REALLY ANGRY (Grouchy) and you can see the anger in his eyes and his lips and he licks them again indicating that his mouth is getting dry because he is really uncomfortable.

>

Spill’s statement has now left
Bill so completely shocked that his jaw open wide to indicate his shock over seeing an exaggerated version of himself in puppet form.

<

Then puppet Spill promotes his book which Bill constantly does on his show and you hear the real Bill chuckling in the background off camera. But it is not a happy chuckle. It is a forced phony and uncomfortable chuckle as Spill says “ Buy my book now ! It’s a stinky pile of rotten Grouchiness.” Buy it or don’t whadda I care!”

There is no doubt that the real O’ Reilly is uncomfortable with this parody too close to the bone as he sees himself up close and personal and clearly does not like what he sees. We then continue to see Bill O ‘Reilly’s discomfort on his facial expression as he says to puppet Spill t O Reilly “ You’re a little aggressive there.” The puppet responds in a loud aggressive tone WHADDAYA MEAN? O Reilly Replies “You’re in people’s faces.

</a

Then we see the real Bill O” Reilly fighting back with the puppet as he now points his finger in the puppets face as the puppet he answers “Yeah” Bill is so unhinged by all of this that he feels he must change the subject to take the stink off of himself. He then says to puppet Spill” You know who you remind me of? —Barney Frank It is quite obvious that Bill can’t stand that the resemblance to him and the parody is so close to the bone, It disturbs him so much, that he shifts the his discomfort over by saying it’s not him who acts so obnoxiously, its Barney Frank!

Then as the segment comes to a close, Bill further shows his discomfort in an attempt to regain his edge by cutting Spill down and telling Spill that he needs a new tie and jacket But Spill regains the winning edge with his final words to Bill. Looking at his clothing, Spill asks Bill is if he can borrow his stylist. Then in pure comedic fashion, showing that he is truly a star in his own right, Spill examines his underarms and shares with Bill and with the audience that he has “stained himself .”So there you have it!

Even though Bill O Reilly’s parting words were “We’re very flattered!”Bill was clearly unflatterd! His choice the word “we’re” along with the monotone in which he said his parting phrase indicated that NOT flattered by Spill in the least. Bill used the word “We’re flattered as opposed to saying “I’m flattered” as a way of distancing himself from Spill. He also said it in a serious monotone- further indication that he was not flattered by seeing himself portrayed as a loud mouthed obnoxious, in your face, aggressive, tuft of hair side parted, ill dressed puppet named Spill O’Reilly. Sometimes the truth is shocking- especially when you see it so up close and personal. www.drlillianglass.com

by sylvia

A while ago, I wrote a post about my neuroses regarding how I look and feeling bad because I wasn’t “beautiful” but was ok with being cute, because I like cute things better than beautiful things.  The post was called “Are You Beautiful“, and it was, like a lot of the stuff I write, cathartic and cleansing for me to get out there.

But the other day, someone commented on this semi-old post, and as I read it, I thought “Wow, I feel bad for that girl.  She is really down on herself and I hope she is able to pull out of it.  I totally feel for her.”

Until I got to the end:

P/S: I DONT MEAN TO LOWER YOUR CONFIDENCE OR ANYTHING BUT UNNATRACTIVE PEOPLE ONLY GET THE ‘CUTE’ REMARK. WANT TO KNOW WHY?

CUTE MEANS……….

ugly but adorable…. SORRY.

OUCH.

Really?  You’re telling me that I’m ugly?  Sure, I’ve heard that one before.  And worse things, too.  But here I was feeling bad for you because you felt so bad about yourself, and I quote:

I like this post a lot especially because I feel the same way as the writer. I have been self-loathing myself ever since I realised people NEED to look some way to be ACCEPTED. In high school, the pretty girls get all the advantage and ever since I’ve been trying to improve my looks. I am not fat, not thin either…somewhere in the middle. But if you would ask me what I would change about myself, I will give you a million answers. I feel embarassed everytime I am out with my friends because they look like top models. Sometimes I feel I look okay but the feeling is so delicate. It doesnt help that people around me are sO hypocritical. Everything from my hair to my feet had received numerous harsh comments. I hated mirrors ever since. I hated taking photographs too. Everything that remind me of myself would only make me feel worse. Sometimes I feel like going out with a brown bag over my head. Only then, I would feel safe. I would do anything to be beautiful.

I sense some projection, some self-hate, and there is also a possibility of trolliness in that comment. 

And I’m trying not to take it personally, because this person doesn’t know me, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me.  Not because some random commenter might think I’m ugly, but more because this random commenter has probably been called “cute” on more than one occasion, and probably hates herself for it.  Which is wrong.  I don’t know what this girl looks like, but based on her comment, it’s obvious her self-esteem is in the toilet.  And as someone who knows what that is like, I know it can affect how others see you and what you “look” like.

But seriously – do you think CUTE = UGLY but ADORABLE? 

And no, Bianca – I’m not fishing for compliments….I’m curious how y’all feel about it…

Now I’ve got something else to obsess over….sheesh

Your general mental health stems from how mentally equipped you are to deal with setbacks. Even some of the most hardened people have, at one time or another, suffered from a mental collapse. If you are finding it difficult to cope with the way the world is, you are not alone. There are many ways we can develop stress and depression because of the sensitive nature of being human.

Sadly, there is still a lot of stigma surrounding issues of mental health. If we fall ill with a physical disease we don’t mind telling others, this is not usually the case with mental problems. Feeling down is often seen by the individual as a sign of weakness. If you fall into this category, please take these feelings seriously.

What is it that gives us mental strength? Well, some of it seems to be genetic. Mental health is well documented to be partially attributable to hereditary factors. Experience is also very important when it comes to mental strength. If we are happy with our current lifestyle we also feel more confident in who we are. If you feel that you need to build up your mental toughness there are a number of things you can do. You should talk to people who can help you when you encounter problems. Too often people bottle up their emotions. Sometimes what we need is a friend who can be there for us. If you develop low feelings which become overwhelming, you should speak to a doctor or other professional.

How to Quickly Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns

A reality check is needed every now and again when things get on top of you. You need to think whether you have too much on your plate. Try to keep your priorities focused. It can be tempting to try to take on more and more things to forget about feeling low, this is a self defeating strategy. Be smart in the choice of extra activities you take on; for instance, take up a sport or hobby which builds up your emotional strength.

If there is one word you should remember when it comes to mental strength, it is balance. Balance means that you have a sense that all the important parts of your life are working together in harmony. Each individual has a different concept of balance. This is because we all lead individual lives with differing needs. Your sense of balance may change at different stages of your life. You may work longer hours than most but if it gives you the financial rewards you crave and you also have the time to do things which you want to do, then you are likely to feel stable and balanced. When we are feeling unbalanced, however, the slightest thing can tip us over the edge. Once we become overwhelmed we are unable to make clear decisions. The secret to balance is to remain in control of yourself and your goals, to keep moving forwards.

Your sense of balance will change along with your life’s priorities. As a young adult you may find balance through your social life. When you get older other things, such as job security, may become more important. Once you reach middle age, you may have become financially secure and want to rediscover yourself. Taking some time out regularly to consider where you are and where you come from is important. Think carefully about what is important to you in respect of balance and stability.

We make many assumptions about what we ‘need’ to be happy in life. Some of this is because of intimate social pressures such as family, friends and wider social pressures such as the mass media. The truth is that only you know what is best for yourself. Learn to trust your instincts more and listen to your inner voice. Think hard about whether there is too much going on in your life at the moment. Are your family suffering because you have taken too much on at work? Ask yourself what you would be doing in an ideal world? Then try to implement a strategy which allows you to get as close to it as possible. Never underestimate the importance of balance in your life. Getting the balance right will improve your quality of life immesurably. Remember to seek help when and if it is necessary but don’t lose sight of the responsibility which you owe to yourself

For a step-by-step no-cost video which will show you how to overcome negative thinking patterns and become more self-confident please visit :

http://www.sociallyassured.com

KATE’S OVER THE TOP DRAMA

When you hear the words “It was cut short too soon, “ you usually hear them in the context of discussing a ”human life.” You hear it in talking about a 5 year old with leukemia who just took his last breath in your arms. You hear it at the funeral of a beautiful teenager who got killed in a car accident because of a drunk driver. Both of these horrific incidents merit the words “cut too short too soon”- not a television show coming to an end. Those were not the words to use because it is not accurate.

This show was NOT “cut too short too soon.” It came to an end and the timing is perfect. Who wants to watch a show about bickering parents with so much awful tension between them? Who wants to watch a short tempered verbally and even physically abusive mother give her kids bad advice ( ie. telling Leah to tell her classmate who saw her on TC that she didn’t want to talk about it). Who wants to watch a confused dad with loser friend (Michael Lohan) making horrible decisions (womanizing) and self destructing (chain smoking and drinking). If TLC knew these things about anyone they would never have given them a show.

Those kids need a life away from the camera. They need to be kids and they don’t need their personal business broadcast all over the world for everyone to see. At this stage in their development being on camera would have caused them more harm than good.

THE GOOD SIDE OF THE SHOW FOR THE KIDS

There is no doubt that the show gave these kids and this family an opportunity to make money and to travel and do things that they would not ordinarily get to do. But now that they have earned a lot of money from the show and from books, and lectures, they can use that money to travel and continue to do things to enhance their lives. But this time, they need to do it off camera.

Those kids are beautiful, bright, precious, wonderful little souls. There is no doubt that it was wonderful watching them grow into who they are today, But enough! Now let them be and let them live!

SADDENED BY HOW JON AND KATE DIDN’T GIVE THERAPY OR COUNSELING A CHANCE

After watching this final show I was really sad. But I wasn’t sad because the show had ended. I was sad for several other reasons. First of al, l I was sad that these two stupid parents who should worship the fact that God blessed them with 8 normal healthy beautiful souls, were willing to throw it all away WITHOUT giving it a chance with therapy.

While therapy is no guarantee that a marriage will work, you at least have to give it a try! I have seen lives transform and marriages that were just hanging on by a thread not only survive, but flourish because of therapy.

These kids need 2 parents. They need the balance of both of them. They don’t deserve the ugliness that happened between Jon and Kate. These kids knew exactly what was happening between their parents. They felt it and they could see it in their parent’s faces and body language every day.

Jon was an idiot to say he “despised” Kate and Kate was an idiot to abuse Jon and humiliate him. All that back and forth for so many months was horrific! What kind of example does that set for the kids? What these two selfish creatures did will have lasting repercussions psychologically. Those children will suffer immensely unless they get help in the form of therapy.

Dr Phil could have been a good influence in Jon and Kate’s life. He may have even saved their marriage for all we know. After all, he saved Oprah so who’s to say he couldn’t save Jon and Kate? Kate with all her narcissism and self absorption took to Dr. Phil. So perhaps he could get through to her and to Jon. That was a bad decision on Jon’s part to not let Dr. Phil intervene- even if it was on TV. What’s the difference? They went on TV anyway airing their dirty laundry to people who couldn’t help them. This way they could have gone on TV and aired their dirty laundry to someone who could help them. Instead, these two clowns made their lives into a circus. Who could ever respect either of them for what they did in front of those kids?

SADDENED BY BAD PARENTING

The fact that they have not put these kids into therapy is horrible! It is bad parenting ! And speaking of bad parenting, the last show was filled with Kate’s bad parenting! It was abusive and nauseating. Thank God we won’t ever have to watch her abusing those kids again. But in a way it may have been a good thing seeing them on the air, because it allowed us to keep a watchful eye on Kate . Now we can only pray those kids won’t continue to be abused by Kate.

SADDENEDN BY ADAN BEING VERBALLY ABUSED AND NAUSEATED WHEN HE WAS TOLD TO “ACT LIKE A MAN!”

I hated how Kate treated Adan. I hated how she said those kids were whining when they were walking to their neighbor’s farm to milk the cows. You can’t walk a mile as a child if you aren’t used to it. Your feet will hurt and you will get tired and sore. Those kids were tired and sore. That is why they were whining! They were uncomfortable! Let any adult who hasn’t walked a mile in a while do it and see if they don’t get tired and whiney.

Her abusive hostile harsh tones to precious Adan sickened me . There was no need to scold him. He didn’t do anything bad. No wonder this little guy looks so stiff and tense in his body language all the time and his face is so serious and worried so much of the time . He is no doubt, in fear that Kate is going to give him hell for the slightest infraction, so he tries to tow the line.

When she said to Adan “BE A MAN YOU’RE FIVE ! DON’T CRY BE A MAN! I wanted to scream in her face “ BE A LOVING MOTHER NOT A BITCH ! IF YOUR LITTLE BOY CAN’T CRY BECAUSE HE’S HURT OR UNCOMFORTABLE- THEN YOU, KATE DON’T CRY YOUR PHONY TEARS FOR THE CAMERA! BE A WOMAN! BUCK UP! How would you like it if you were spoken to like you spoke to Adan?

What she said to Adan was clear projection ! Those are exactly the words she wanted to say to Jon” BE A MAN- BUCK UP!” But say those words to Jon. Don’t say them to a little boy and traumatize him. Those words were to be said to Jon not a sweet child who didn’t want to walk because he wasn’t used to it and his little feet hurt him.

Her insensitivity made me livid! There is no doubt that this type of behavior is a sure fire way to emotionally scar and mess up a child! Not allowing a child to express his emotions is abusive! You are training him to repress what is natural and what he feels. He could turn those emotions inward and get seriously ill as studies have shown. Or he could turn those emotions outward and really act out inappropriately. None of this is good and it falls on your shoulders in terms of how poorly you are training him.

SADDENED AND DISGUSTED BY HER DISCUSSING OF THE BOY’S AND THEIR UDDER ISSUES

You could really see the disdain and disgust in Kate’s face as she talks about the boys and their “udder issues.” No doubt,in her sarcastic tone she was talking about their penis issues as she says “I’m not ready to deal with that.” Well Kate you better be ready to deal with that and stop making everything bad, dirty and nasty and icky! Boys are great! They Are Not Icky!

SADDENED BY THE KIDS NOT BEING ALLOWED TO HOLD AND CARRESS THE KITTY

I hated what happened with the kitten and the children and how Kate selfishly wouldn’t let them hold the kitten . To me it looked like she was hanging on to that kitty, not because she liked it, but because she may have thought it made her look good and loving and compassionate when the TV cameras were rolling. In fact at the end, she dismissed the cat like it was the prop that it was for her as she said matter of factly “we’re mot taking the cat home.”

Those kids were so precious and loving around the kitten. They weren’t hurting the kitten. Not allowing them to hold the kitten was mean (Mady’s words)and cruel on her part. Those little girls were a screaming at the top of their lungs as Kate selfishly took the cat away from them. They weren’t hurting the cat, they were tenderly loving it and Kate destroyed their moment.

SAD THAT KATE MAY CONTINUE TO COLLAPSE ANGER ON THESE KIDS

It was awful to see Kate alone with those kids. She took the joy out of any situation with them, harping on them all the time and now allowing them to just BE! When we used to see her with Jon, he was the buffer. She took things out on him, so she didn’t have to take things out on the kids. Now that he is out of the picture, those poor kids may no doubt get the direct effects of Kate’s hostility.

No matter what you say about Jon, he is a loving and affectionate daddy. The kisses and hugs are so important to the kid’s psyches and to their emotional development. Hopefully his love will cancel out the effects of Kate’s harshness and nastiness towards them.

He better fight for joint custody of those kids and not be selfish. They need him desperately! He can’t leave them alone with Kate all the time. Then they will be completely messed up! This way they at least have a chance. While he is an eff up in his personal life, he is not an eff up around the kids. Kate is an eff up around the kids- a mean (Mady;s words) and nasty one. I hate how she talks to them, I hate the sarcasm and snide comments and remarks and I hate the tone of voice she uses to them.

SAD THAT WHAT HAPPENED TO JON MAY HAPPEN TO MANY OF THE KIDS

And no Jon doesn’t get a free pass but he gets some kind of a pass for having the crap bet out of him emotionally and for being physically abused with” love slaps. Yes he was much like the kids in that he didn’t speak up and set boundaries. He could as an adult but the kids can’t as kids.

When he finally spoke out, he spoke through doing all kinds of self destructive things, This may very well happen to many of the kids when they do eventually speak out, after being verbally abused and physically abused by Kate. I hate to think about it! That is why they all need therapy so badly.

Mady is speaking out NOW . As we watched the show for the past 5 seasons, we couldn’t understand why she was always so upset and rebellious. Now we fully understand. She was reacting to Kate, no doubt.

SADDENED AND SICKENED BY JON’S COMMENT ABOUT PUTTING HIS KIDS OUT THERE FOR PEDOPHILES
<

But back to Jon. It just came out through disgusting Michael Lohan’s secret audio taping of his buddy Jon, that Jon said to his best friend, “Toxic father Brutus Lohan” that "I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it." It is horrific enough that this private conversation was taped, but even more horrific that Jon actually spoke these words! He and Kate were clearly pimping those kids out and now he admitted it. Thank God they are off the air so they won’t be pimped any longer.

SADDENED BY BLINDED KATE LOVERS BLINDNESS TO HER ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

And for you blinded Kate lovers, if you cannot see through her abuse and nastiness and still love her and see het doing no wrong, like I said in earlier blogs, you are identifying with her for some reason. Either your man did to you what Jon did to her, or you are like her personality -wise. Being a bitch and abusing others is not being a strong woman, In fact, It is being a very weak woman with a weak character.

There another reason you can’t see past her egregious behavior. It has to do with scientific research, that was conducted back in the in the 1970’s. Studies found that those who are physically attractive are perceived as being more successful, kinder, sexier friendlier and even less guilty of committing a crime.

That’s right, I am talking about classic studies where people were shown photos of two people and told they committed the identical crime. Those who were perceived as being more attractive, got off scot free. That is what many of you blinded Kate lovers have done here. You have given her the free pass and let her get away with her crime of verbal and physical abuse “ scott free”

There is no question that Kate is now physically beautiful – especially when you see earlier photo of her. She was cute in the earlier seasons, but now she is stunning. Objectively speaking, she is in great physical shape, ( thanks to a trainer and to Hailey Glassman’s daddy) she is now stylish in her dress, and even though her hair 1960’s do has become a joke visa Halloween wig, it does look cute on her. Her face is proportional as is her small nose and her large blue eyes are absolutely beautiful .S he has a beautiful large white shiny teeth a a lovely smile.

But when all that sarcasm comes out of her mouth and abuse and yelling it’s not lovely. She turns from being beautiful to being UGLY as sin. If you could get past her looks, you would not be giving her a free pass.

SADDENED AND MADDENED BY KATE’S DENIAL AND VICTIM ROLE ON THE COUCH

Hearing Kate’s last words as she sat on the couch talking about missing Jon in the driver’s seat and that she should be in the passenger seat I wanted to vomit. The reason Jon and Kate they are no longer is because it was literally only Kate in the driver’s seat throughout their entire relationship. She was in control and no one was allowed to drive that relationship but her.

So on the couch, once again she played poor victim Kate with the tears and stilted speech (wonder if she was being fed with a microphone through an earpiece again) Then she self justifies by saying “I never wanted this, I wanted People to step up. What people???? Why don’t you speak the truth and stop pussyfooting around and “deal with things.” You wanted JON to step up- not PEOPLE!

SADDENED BY JON AND KATE NOT THANKING GOD FOR THEIR 8 BLESSINGS AND GETTING THEM INTO THERAPY

Now that the show as we know it has come to end, and the divorce will soon come to an end, there is a good chance Jon will finally step up! But you Both need to step away from the limelight and the cameras and tend to the precious gifts God blessed you with. They are more important than any show or any episode!

Get them into therapy immediately ! Kate, stop being so mean (Mady’s words) to your kids! God gave you kids to love and to treat with kindness and affection, not to yell at and to verbally and physically abuse. There are other ways you can keep them in line. Watch Nanny 911 or Super Nanny.

You can change up your image and look pretty all you like, but always know that “pretty is as pretty does.” You need to ACT as pretty as you LOOK around these kids. Don’t continue to show them the ugliness we witnessed for the past 5 seasons! Be a good mother and get yourself and the kids into therapy while there is still some hope! And Jon- here we definitely agree with Kate on this one- GROW UP! MAN UP! AND STEP! And while you are at it get yourself into therapy as well. www.drlillianglass.com

When I am out on a walk  I am fortunate that I can read a dog fairly quickly, as I must say most owners are not aware of how threatening their dogs behaviour can appear, it is not good social behaviour for any dog to charge up to other people or their dogs, this would not happen in the wild, it is lack of education and understanding of the pet dog that causes them to behave in this way.

Many owners take exception to me repelling their dogs advances, as if I am the anti-social one for not wanting their dog jumping all over me and my dog! There seems to be an attitude in this country that it is not just okay, for a dog to charge towards anyone they fancy the look of, but that it is necessary for them to talk to everyone and their dog on a walk. I am amazed at how immersed British dog owners are in this belief, normally a nation of socially inhibited people; it seems that when it comes to dogs anything goes!  Would we let our children do the same thing? Highly unlikely!

More than anything in the world I would like to change the minds of pet owners on this attitude, because then I and my dog could go for a walk without being constantly harassed by other peoples dogs, and so would everyone else, and we would make the country a place where dogs were more welcome by non dog owners. If I find other peoples dogs annoying when I am out, imagine how the non-dog owners feel?

A couple of weeks ago, I was at a networking event and observed two well-dressed business men talking. Even though I was across the room and couldn’t hear what they were saying, I could tell the conversation was going badly. An older man with a neat, salt-and-pepper goatee was talking and shaking his head from side to side while jabbing into the air with his index finger. He reminded me of the Uncle Sam “I Want You” poster. His gestures were aimed at a 40-something George Clooney look-a-like. This younger man appeared to be merely enduring the conversation and had his arms crossed and his body turned slightly away. He looked to be controlling his expressions with his “game face” on, save for a brief rolling of the eyes. I didn’t have to hear what they were saying to determine that they were not going to come to an agreement anytime soon. Their body language spoke volumes.

Numerous studies show that the non-verbal aspects of communication convey 50 percent or more of your message. It’s not what you say sometimes, but how you say it! How you use body language (posture, position, movement, gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.) will either harm or help your relationships. Using the Small Talk, Big Results NOSE-y method will enable you to connect with people more quickly and to be remembered as a great conversationalist!

The acronym NOSE stands for:

Nod

Open body language

Smile

Eye contact

In short, the idea behind the NOSE-y method is to use body language to come across as a person who is receptive, non-critical, friendly and trustworthy. The acronym NOSE-y also is meant to convey having an attitude of interest toward other people (being “nosey” in a good way).

When you walk into a room, which of these two attitudes do you have? “Here I am!” or “Ah, there you are, Old Friends!” Both can be useful, however having the second attitude, one of anticipation and friendly interest toward others, is critical. In order to think, “Ah, there you are, Old Friends!” you first need to adjust your attitude before you walk through the door. One technique that I’ve found helpful is to mentally leave my negative thoughts like so much baggage in a corner of my brain before I enter a room through the magic door of opportunity. I can pick up my negative bags later, when I leave, if I really need to! I try to think, “Hello, Old Friends!” as I look around the room. After all, all friends were once strangers.

You can learn effective body language, but if you don’t have an “Ah, there you are, old friends!” attitude, it will be very difficult to apply. Your attitude will show in your body language. Trying to mask a negative or disinterested attitude is difficult and may lead to small incongruencies in body language that people pick up on subconsciously.

However, changing your body language can change your attitude—it goes both ways. Use a little bit of the “Here I am!” attitude when you first walk in to adjust your body language. Stand tall, chin up and put a pleasant expression on your face—a slight smile, the kind that engages your eyes.

Picking out whom to approach and how to approach them, is another blog topic, so I’ll just jump right into using the NOSE-y techniques in conversation. A caveat: as my experience is largely in American culture, some of the techniques may not translate well into other cultures. For example, in some countries nodding your head up and down means no, and shaking side to side mean yes.

1. Nod

It never ceases to amaze me how long I can sustain a conversation with a talkative person by merely looking interested, nodding and making occasional, um-hmm murmurs of agreement. Once in a blue moon I do it just to see how long I can go without actually contributing much to the conversation. About a year ago, my husband and I had dinner with a prospective business partner and I spent the whole evening seated next to the man pretty much just nodding and um-humming. Not once did he ask me anything about my life or my interests. That set off warning bells, which I, unfortunately, ignored. The business relationship has not gone well.

Nodding indicates that you are in agreement with what the other person is saying and generally are an agreeable person. You can also use nodding while you are talking to help persuade a person to come to your way of thinking. For example, you say something like, “Isn’t that a great idea!” and nod while and after you say it. If you have developed rapport with the person, they will subconsciously want to agree with you and may even nod along with you. They have mirrored your actions and are internalizing the agreement. If you and your conversation partner are “in-sync” you will begin to mirror each other’s body language and vocal expression. Use this knowledge to your advantage to connect more quickly by subtly mirroring the other’s body language. Some people like big gestures, others don’t. You can tell by how they gesture and mirror them. Subconsciously, the other person will see you as someone more like themselves. We tend to like people who are like us.

2. Open body language

Body language encompasses posture, position, movement, gestures, eye contact, facial expressions and more. Several books have been written on the subject, so I will just touch on some body language to avoid and some body language that is effective: Avoid:

 o Folding your arms. This indicates a defensive attitude.

o Putting your hands in your pockets.

o Fidgeting with any part of your body or clothing/jewelry

o Touching your face. This indicates discomfort.

o Licking your lips. This can indicate lying.

o Running your fingers through your hair. This can indicate nervousness.

o Leaning away or angling your body away

o Getting too close. Closer than arm’s length is probably too close.

o Hunched posture. This makes you look like you lack confidence.

o Watching the clock or looking at your phone.

o Tapping your foot/ drumming fingers. This indicates impatience or nervousness.

 Do:

o Open with a firm handshake

o Consider your attire and grooming (another blog topic!)

o Face the other person, with your hands visible

o Lean in slightly to indicate interest

o Have appropriate facial expressions to show empathy

o Pay attention to the other person’s body language

o Mirror the other person’s stance, gestures and more

3. Smile

Combined with appropriate eye contact, a genuine smile is the most important tool in your body language tool box! Nothing says “I’m friendly, open and non-critical!” like a smile. Most people do not smile enough. Smile more. Smile almost to the point of feeling like you are being excessively cheerful. In conversation, unless the topic is a somber one, instead of keeping your mouth in a neutral position (which actually looks more negative than neutral), try to keep a small half smile ready to burst in to a bemused grin or even an open-mouthed laugh.

Because a smile is so important to conveying an open and friendly attitude, you need to make your smile the best it can be—get your teeth straightened, get cosmetic dental work, use whitening products, brush and floss regularly. Your smile, your relationships and you are worth it!

4. Eye contact

Have you ever watched TV with the sound off? Try it sometime and watch the actors’ eyes. Eyes are very expressive. The way you look at someone can convey many different things: honesty, compassion, interest, confidence, affection, hostility, boredom or disdain. Not only do eyes express emotion, but the use of eye contact is critical to the flow of conversation. We use our eyes to obtain feedback on how the other person is responding, so we can adjust our own response.

One piece of advice I found helpful in increasing initial eye contact is to start noticing the eye color of the people you meet.

A lack of eye contact can indicate low self-esteem, dishonesty, lack of interest or disrespect. As a mom, annoyed at my children’s apparent disrespect, I’ve sometimes said to them, “Look at me when I’m talking with you.”

You can make too much or even the wrong type of eye contact. If you have unwavering eye contact, that can appear to be staring or glaring, especially if your face is serious. You need to adjust your eye contact (occasionally look away) to the person you are speaking with.

Your eye contact is noticed! The number one negative body language complaint I received in an informal poll of my Facebook friends was “not really paying attention.” Eye contact that is an unfocused, vacant stare is not good eye contact. The number two complaint was “rolling the eyes.” Rolling the eyes indicates a disdainful attitude. It especially pains me to see a wife or husband roll eyes at a spouse.

Some body language speaks so loudly we can’t hear the words. It really is not so much what you say, but how you say it! How you use body language can either enhance your relationships or endanger them. Using the Small Talk, Big Results NOSE-y method you can convey a friendlier, more engaging persona. Be a NOSE-y conversationalist!

Aliens landed in West Lothian. Or so the story goes.

In 1979, forestry worker Bob Taylor happened across a UFO in the woods at Dechmont Law where he was attacked by two spheres. Ridiculous, of course.

Or is it?

Certainly, there was evidence. Bob’s ripped trousers, and strange marks on the ground where the craft was reputed to have landed, were all that was left. Within hours, Ufologists – yes there really are such people - and hundreds of souvenir hunters had dug up the grass and soil before making off with their spoils.

Sadly, Bob passed away, and with him went the only chance to find out the truth of the matter.

But wait a minute… Waterborn Productions Ltd. produced a film that contains footage of interviews with some of the personalities involved in the story, and that film is now available on the internet.

As Scotland’s foremost mind reader, I’m not really giving away any secrets when I tell you that my methods involve reading non-verbal cues, micro-expressions and body language. Night after night I entertain audiences with my ability – as a “human lie detector” – to distinguish truth from deception.

It’s why I was regularly used as “The Interrogator” on the Trisha Goddard Show to illicit confessions from our guests. It’s why the BBC made a four-part series in which I was the subject and presenter on how to identify when somebody is lying.

So, we may think that all the evidence about the story has now vanished. But thanks to the film we still have access to the interviews. And I have now spent hours pouring over the footage. Rewinding the interviews. Freezing the frames. Studying the “clusters” of expressions, gestures, voice changes and the sentence structure of the interviewees including Dr Gordon Adams, Detective Inspector Ian Wark – scene of crime officer – and Bob’s work colleagues.

Being honest, I expected to uncover body language suggesting that the whole thing was a hoax or a lie.

However, I can categorically state that at no time is there any evidence of deception from any of these people. Not once.

When Bob Taylor recounts the incident he is clearly accessing actual memory, not his imagination. His body language is open; there is no fluctuation in his paralanguage, and his open-palmed gestures suggest a man simply recounting what happened.

So, what of the wheel-on sceptic Steuart Campbell? His conclusions included the suggestion that the tracks were produced by somebody with a pickaxe, planks of wood and construction machinery. 

Sounds reasonable, except that the police, according to DI Wark, had examined “every piece of machinery they (Livingston Development Corporation) had… we didn’t find anything to match.”

That aside, the sceptical view is based on the discredited hypothesis of an astronomical mirage, that the workers were lying, the police didn’t know what they were talking about, and the medical expert was wrong. That alone should make us sceptical of the sceptics.

Based on my expertise and experience of body language, my view is that the interviewees were telling it exactly as it was. This was no hoax.

However, Steuart Campbell, author of “The UFO Mystery Solved”, demonstrates textbook closed body language, self caressing and all the “tells” of a person in discomfort, offering an explanation about which he, himself, harbours grave doubts.

He may dismiss the whole thing with scientific theories, but his body language is saying something different.

Of course, that’s the job of a self-appointed sceptic; to debunk it. But I’d rather be hoaxed than have some authority coldly dismiss everybody else – suggesting they are feeble-minded – while offering a theory which they are pretty sure is bunkum.

Did aliens land on Dechmont Law thirty years ago? We’ll probably never know. But thanks to the footage we can still view the interviews and sort out the nonsense from the fact.

Was it a hoax? Is the sceptic offering a theory in which he doesn’t even believe himself?

Take a look yourself. But don’t just listen to the words… watch the body language.

THEN decide.

(Part One. There are also parts 2 and 3): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOuKl1ze51c

Drew McAdam

LEVI’S STUGGLE TO FIND HIS IDENTITY

There is no question that Sara Palin’s “grandbaby daddy,” Levi Johnston’s posing nude in Playgirl is a scream out in trying to establish his own identity, other than “baby daddy” or “grandbaby daddy.”With his name, JOHNSTON, prominently tattooed in large type on his arm. starting at his elbow and ending at his wrist, it says – “ That’s me!” “That’s my name!” “ I’m a Johnston.”

Unfortunately, in trying so hard to establish his identity and to make a name himself, Levi definitely ended up making a name for himself alright- a bad name .

This stunningly handsome young man made a very bad decision. This is going to cost him in court of public opinion in terms of whether or not he will ever be taken seriously in the future. Many feel that he is in the same category of John Bobbitt – a joke who stripped nude and did porn after his privates were re-ached, due to wife Lorena’s slicing. I certainly hope Levi doesn’t continue on the porn road, no matter how much it pays. With the right training, he can do much better than that.

BAD ADVICE AND NO GUIDANCE FOR LEVI

Whether he posed nude and did it for the money or posed nude to embarrass Sarah Palin, or both, he ended up embarrassing himself. This is not how one establishes their name in the world, if they want to have any type of significant future. Whomever was advising this young man, obviously was advising him incorrectly. They did not do him any favors.

There is no doubt this 19 year old boy is misguided and is in desperate need of guidance. Unfortunately he won’t be getting that guidance from his mother. The other day, Sherry Johnston after reaching a plea deal with prosecutors was sentenced to spending the next three years in prison for dealing in prescription painkillers- OxyContin, prescribed to her by her doctor.

According to court documents, she sold some of the painkiller to police informants in deals arranged by cell and text messages. Evidently, she conducted her deals in store parking lots.

Her attorney, Rex Butler explained to the court that Sherry Johnston was forced to sell the drugs to raise money to buy other medications after her insurance company reduced her coverage, after being in constant pain, after having pelvis surgery. Nice try Mr. Butler, but one bought it!

The bottom line is that his client and Levi’s mother won’t be around to advice her 19 year old until he is 22. By then, it might be too late.

One bit of advice his mother should have given Levi, was to back off and stop his Trashing Sara Palin” media tour where titillates the public that “he has information that could destroy” her. “ Puhleez!!! This was no doubt a media ploy by Levi’s handlers to have a reason to put Levi in front of the press before Sarah’s book launched. It was clearly a vehicle to put him in front of the public to promote his upcoming Playgirl spread. Coincidentally, it also came out last week!

LEVI VS SARAH- CAN’T WE ALL GET ALONG?

I doubt Levi has anything on Sara, and if he did who cares? Certainly not the public! Her book is a humungous best seller with 300,000 copies sold the first week and thousands lining up to get their copy of her book signed.

There is no doubt that Levi is furious at Sara and rightfully so. Apparently, there has been a huge feud over his parental rights and his access to son Tripp. Sarah evidently doesn’t want him or his family around, because of the drug connection with Levi’s mom. She makes a good a good point. You definitely don’t want anyone with a drug issue around an innocent baby.

But now that Levi’s mom will not be in the picture, I think Sarah needs to give Tripp’sdad some time alone with his son. I like that Sarah invited him to Thanksgiving dinner when she was on the Oprah show. Her body language showed she was sincere. I also liked how she said Levi needed guidance and support and he did need family. She also said how she didn’t like the high drama and all of what has been going on with Levi. She said he had a beautiful boy and that all of this could be worked out.’

I certainly hope so. This boy needs guidance badly. He needs someone to care about him. Hopefully both Sarah and Levi can bury the hatchet and make amends with one another. Hopefully, they can be a more positive part of one another’s lives. Sarah is the mature adult and needs to make the first move. She did it on Oprah but now she needs to follow through with a personal call and a personal invitation to Levi.

LEVI’S HEADED BACK TO HOLLYWOOD

Apparently, Levi was at his mother’s sentencing in Alaska. That must have been very emotional for him to see his own mother go away to prison. It is heart wrenching to think about. According to Levi’s attorney, Mr. Butler who is also his mother’s attorney, after his mother’s sentencing, Levi went back to Hollywood, for a possible reality television show deal. I sure hope its not a reality show that invokes porn.

There is no question that Levi is physically beautiful. But as beautiful as he looks, is as ugly as he sounds. In fact, studies show that the way a person speaks is even more important than they way a person looks. If a person looks good and has poor speaking habits, they are not perceived as being as attractive as research shows. Conversely, if someone isn’t that physically attractive. butt has great speaking voice, they are perceived as being attractive. This is very important for Levi to know.

Even though he is going to get a lot of chances in Hollwyood from people who want to make a quick buck off of his 15 minutes of fame, unless he cleans up the way he speaks, he won’t last a 15 seconds. People not only need to see someone they need to hear them as well This isn’t the silent movie era or the silent reality show era for that matter. The truth is that Levi sounds terrificnle. He mumbles, dies off at the end of sentences so you can’t understand a word he says. He’s inarticulate, speaking in limited responses which makes him sound like he has limited intelligence.

Therefore, the first thing Levi needs to do when he comes here to Hollywood is to get a speech coach, as well as an acting coach. If he wants to make it on a reality show, the audience needs to be able to understand him. So Levi, as you venture into your new life in Hollywood, here is some free advice to you from me- Dr. Glass. Open your mouth, speak up, and for goodness sakes, keep your clothes on. www.drlillianglass.com

by sylvia

Well, today is the day.  The day of Bianca’s debut as a runway model at a local fashion show.  She’s been practicing for 8 (!) weeks to get her walk down pat, her fierce on (thanks, Tyra) and find her inner supermodel.  I’m sure she’s going to be fantastic, but I’ll let her tell you all about it next week.

Let’s get back to talking about me, one of my favorite subjects.

This fashion show was quite a thorn in my side there for awhile.  Why, you ask?  Well, I’m getting to that.

When we tried out, we basically thought we would either both get it or not get it, not the other option of only one of us.  And my initial feeling was that if I made it, I wouldn’t do it if Bianca didn’t.  Because we tried out for it as something fun, something for both of us to do together.  BFF and all that shit.

But before we even found out who made it and who didn’t, we decided whomever made it should do it, regardless.  And I was cool with it because I’m an adult and not a jealous bitch, right?

Well, the day of the callbacks came and went, and neither of us received a call or email.  And then I got my rejection email, which read very similar to a job rejection letter and quite formal for what I thought was a cheesy local fashion show (it’s not so cheesy, we found out).  But Bianca had received nothing. 

Until the next day. 

And when she told me that they wanted her, my heart dropped.  I felt like I had eaten 40 lbs of bread and with nothing to drink.  I hadn’t really prepared myself for that, even though I always knew it was a possibility.  Besides, Bianca is fabulous and more comfortable with her body.  But the only thing I could think about was R E J E C T I ON.  I was rejected.

As happy as I wanted to be for her, I felt worse about myself.  I’ve spent so much of my life avoiding situations where I could be rejected, and then when I put myself out there, rejection just threw up in my face.  It was a terrible lesson to learn – don’t bother putting yourself out there because you’re just going to be rejected.

But I’m beyond that, right?  I mean, I’m a 35 year old adult, I should be past the whole “afraid of rejection” thing.  Yeah right.

I must admit that I wouldn’t have been so bothered by it if we had both been rejected.  But we weren’t.

I went home that night and cried.  Sure, it’s just a silly fashion show, right?  But all my life I have felt rejected by the way I looked.  Whether it was my face or my fat self or how tall I was, any rejection I got was from my physical self.   And now, here it was happening again.

I felt like I wasn’t even good enough for the other fatties.  Even if I accepted myself for being fat, I still wasn’t good enough to be in a plus-size fashion show that was celebrating fat women of all ages and ethnicities.

So it was a hard couple of weeks for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hide under a blanket and cry for weeks.  But it made me realize that my “acceptance” still had a lot of work to do.

And poor Bianca, she wanted to badly to be excited about it, which she should be, but she was also concerned about hurting my feelings talking about it.

So I did some soul-searching.  And realized that I could analyze and overanalyze why they wanted Bianca over me, and I would never EVER get the answer.

And I became ok with how things worked out.  Not just ok, but honestly very happy for Bianca because I knew she would shine.  They wanted her for a reason, and she would rock that shit out.

And once I told her that it did in fact make me feel bad at first, I know she was relieved to hear me say to her truthfully, “I want you to talk about it with me, you have every right to be excited about it!”

So, I learned me some lessons from all this:

• Being rejected just means you weren’t right for that for whatever reason.  You can’t take it personally or you will end up going insane
• Modeling may not be my thing – I’m probably better at other things
• Everything happens for a reason
• Not all girls are bitches
• Me and Bianca may be fierce on our own, but we are pretty damn flabulous together:

by sylvia

Back in September,  Bianca and I decided that in order to learn to accept ourselves – ALL of ourselves, we had to do something out of our collective comfort zone.  So we decided that for 31 days we would take pictures of our bellies and post them here – on this blog.

And we did.  Every single day. 

I must admit that while it was fun and liberating, it was also hard as crap to come up with something interesting each day.  But we did it.  Off to the right over there on the bottom is our flickr photostream.  We wanted to have them all in one place.  Let us know if you want a “Zaftig Belly” calendar for 2010, and we’ll figure out a way to get you one!  For a price of course, but I’m sure a portion of the proceeds will go to a good charity.  And no, Bianca – you are not the charity!

You can read the original post here.

Enjoy?

a href=”http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.wordpress.com/files/2009/11/jon-and-flowers.jpg”>
If this isn’t manipulative body language, I don’t know what else is! Apparently Jon brought these roses to his divorce arbitration which took place Saturday. This same man who trashed his wife in the press with such vitriol, showed up at the office of one of Kate’s attorneys with these roses for Kate.

If he really anted to apologize to her, instead of telling doing it in Rabbi Shmuleys form and on every media venue, doing an “Apology Tour,” he need to do it privately. He needed to send these roses to her home with a personal note. This did not need to be a media event or photo op. It is completely sickening. Whomever is advising Jon is not helping him or his image. That is for sure!

THE REAL STORY

There is no doubt what is going on here. As long as they are married the monies in their accounts are joined. Now that he has a pending lawsuit from TLC he doesn’t want their financial accounts to be separated. Since TLC is still working with Kate, he thinks if they are still co-mingled monetarily, TLC won’t be as hard on him for breaching his contract.
That is the ONLY reason he wants to delay the divorce.He wants OUT and so does she. But he wants to stay IN as long as it benefits him.

MY FANTASYFOR THE GOSSELINS

But being the optimist I am and fantasizing a little bit here, wouldn’t it be something if Kate was actually touched by the gesture of Jon’s bringing her flowers?

Woudn’t it be something if she broke down and cried after seeing this “sweet” gesture and then Jon went over to hold her?

Wouldn’t it be something if they went into a separate room, away from the arbitrators and everyone else and actually both broke down and held one another and cried and told one another that they loved the other?

Wouldn’t it be something if they decided to go to see a marriage counselor(even on Dr. Phil but do it privately and only agree to go on his show AFTER they worked it out while they were working it out because Kate would most likely only agree to seeing Dr. Phil and not any other therapist).
Wouldn’t it be something if they also got child psychologists for all the kids?

Wouldn’t it be something if they also got into family counseling?

Wouldn’t it be something if Jon moved back in and all this counseling actually worked for them?

Wouldn’t it be something if Kate now spoke to Jon in loving terms and with respect and Jon Manned Up?

Wouldn’t it be something if they were a happy family again?

Wouldn’t it be something of TLC would now create a talk show where both Jon and Kate were the co-hosts without the kids being on the show and we could hear updates about the kids and how they were doing without camera in their faces?

Wouldn’t it be something if Jon and Kate did get back together and that their experience it would serve as an example to others that even when things are horrible between two people, with counseling and love couples can repair the damage, get back together and live happily ever after?

Yes, all of that would be something! But unfortunately it’s only my fantasy! Too bad it can’t be a reality as that would make the BEST reality show ever!

<

But back to reality! The reality is that Kate was not to pleased about the flowers as she declined to accept them and left them in the room. Apparently they did’t speak to one another directly. It was all done through lawyers. From the looks of the scowl on Kate’s face, her furrowed forehead, and tension in her neck muscles, the arbitration meeting apparently did’,t go too well.

www.drlillianglass.com

David Beckhams body language as he comforts his youngest son Cruz Beham is touching. You an feel the love and tenderness as David comforts him. With dad’s open hand pressing the side of Cruz’s head and his other open hand caressing Cruz’s body, he’s giving Cruz some relief from what’s ailing him.

Cruz’s rounded shoulders (a defensive posture) and fetal like snuggle into daddy indicates ,no doubt, that little Cruz was not a happy camper. He may even be crying. Whether he may have fallen down and is physcially hurt or whether he got into an argument with his brothers and got emotionally hurt, daddy was there to make it all better. I love it!

While middle son Romeo seems more intered in what’s in older son Brooklyn’s hands, Brooklyn shows concern for his younger brother’s emotional state. Looking in in Cruz’s direction with his head cocked, he is apparently wondering if his younger brother is is all right.

How could things not be all right now that he is in daddy’s loving arms. This is so sweet and precious. Seeing Soccer Superstar David Beckham in action here with his son makes me an even bigger fan. www.drlillianglass.com.

Madly in love or on the rocks? Our body language expert and author of The Body Language Bible Judi James reveals how Cheryl and Ashley really feel about each other…

Cheryl Tweedy and Ashley Cole dating in 2004
Judi says: ‘The ‘early-days’ pose shows two successful and strong characters performing a small, subtle power-battle as they go on their first few dates. By walking apart with no touch or PDAs they could have been hoping to avoid being spotted as a couple, but their eye-connection signals the start of a relationship.
Ashley’s easy-going walk suggests alpha status but Cheryl’s equal stride and the way she’s walking slightly ahead shows she’s no push-over and possibly keen to take control.’

Cheryl Tweed and Ashley Cole around the time he proposed
Judi says: ‘Ashley’s still doing his alpha-thing here, lounging back in the seat looking open and confident. Cheryl is putting all the effort into the affection and attraction signals, with an intense and flattering gaze that borders on a look of adoration, plus a rather possessive arm placed around Ashley’s shoulders.’

Cheryl and Ashley Cole in 2007 just before separation
Judi says: ‘This is less youthful and more sophisticated body language, with Cheryl having moved to what looks like the centre of attention, walking ahead and dominating the pose. Ashley has moved from centre stage to what appears to be more of a support role, although their entwined fingers suggests underlying closeness and affection.’

Cheryl and Ashley Cole out after reconciliation in June 2008
Judi says: ‘It’s back to honeymoon mode for this pair with this skipping, hand-holding and mutual eye-gazing pose, suggesting they don’t have a romantic care in the world. Ashley’s hand is on top and his body’s out front, suggesting he’s in the lead and control of the steering. His smile looks genuinely happy but Cheryl’s appears slightly more wary with a watchful rather than ga-ga look in her eyes.’

Cheryl and Ashley Cole outside X Factor in 2008
Judi says: ‘There’s less assured coupledom body language here as though both Cheryl and Ashley need to check one another’s reactions rather than reading them via touch and tie-signs. Ash is back in the central role with Cheryl watching his with what looks like suppressed anxiety.’

Cheryl and Ashley Cole after a party July 2009
Judi says: ‘There’s what looks like a lot of mutual fun and celebration here although that hand clasp looks clunky, and the rather rigid smiles make some of the fun look forced. Despite the wide open mouths there’s no eye contact in this pose.’

Cheryl and Ashley Cole after a night out in November 2009
Judi says: ‘There’s an overall air of tension and anxiety in both their body language here as though they might be in the middle of a bit of a barney. Ash’s rigid, staring facial expression makes it look as though he’s almost ignoring his wife who is coming up the rear, while Cheryl’s  missing her normal warm, wide smile.’

Source