“In any society, moments define time for a people and the bombing of the Murrah Building is forever etched in those who lived in Oklahoma City – and America. Upon moving here a decade after the bombing, I visited the Memorial frequently, and through the seasons, the cold, hopelessness of a stark winter gives way to the exhilaration of spring, the enthusiasm of summer and the reflection of fall, where I find this tree – a symbol of the inner strength of the Oklahoman, the American – constantly in my viewfinder. This collection of images morphed into one somehow inspires hopefulness, knowing the loving power of community.”

The above description is of the 16 x 20 “Survivor” Giclee, available now on weber-creative.com for the 2009 holiday. Order today and get FREE SHIPPING.

I recently have been listening to Skyzoo’s Album “The Salvation”. If you don’t know about him, he’s Duck Down Records’ newest acquisition (Remember Black Moon, Smif-N-Wessun?), straight out of Brooklyn NYC. More formal introductions later…
Anyway, I’ve been inspired by a track off that album called “The Beautiful Decay”, which basically talks about the beauty in seemingly bad situations. The idea is to go around on my many travels, and take pictures of what I believe to be “Beautiful Decay”. Hope you guys enjoy! First installment coming soon!

To Life,
PROTA

I took three days off from stand-up.  I felt terrible about it.

I performed at an open michael on Friday night, and was so exhausted, so unprepared to be on stage, and so scattered that I bombed.  Completely and totally bombed and didn’t want to get up again.  I know logically that the best way to get over a night like this is to get up again, but I really just wanted to take a breather from it.  I’d been running hard at the open michaels every day after work, and I just needed a reprieve.

My sister, consoling me over the weekend as I bemoaned these struggles, told me to find a way to do comedy that ‘works for me’.  I’d been so focused on getting on stage every night, multiple times a night if possible, that the joy starts to fade out and exhaustion takes over.  Open mics take on less importance – which is of course good in a sense, as you get more comfortable – but, it’s bad in the sense that you aren’t motivated to work as hard.  I’d gotten occasionally lazy.  The night I got angry with the audience member at the open mic was more my irritation at the hustle than my actual irritation at the girl.  (Though she was annoying!)  I don’t want to be that bitter, defeated, tired comic.

So I took three days off, and got back on stage tonight.  Three days was enough to make me almost feel nervous again.  Jittery, I should say.  But the excitement returned, too.  The energy; the joy; the desire to share my thoughts and experiences with a group of random comic strangers at 7 pm on a Tuesday night in the East Village was all back.  And the difference is palpable.  Audiences respond to your energy.  And while I’m occasionally sarcastic, I don’t do well as ‘bitter’.  You have to be a very specific kind of comic to pull that off, and from what I’ve seen, women who are dry and sarcastic usually appear jaded and lonely.  I don’t want to be those things.  In life, or on stage.

So I think I found a way to make comedy work for me: perform as much as possible, but take small breaks when I need them.  And I’ll need them.  Even in all my marathon running, I always thought it was a great accomplishment to run the whole way, but I never could… and it never mattered.  My Dad, a 7 time marathon runner and much my inspiration for running and matters of perseverance, always said how important it was to train your body to be able to pick up running after taking a walk break.  The same applies here.  I can’t run this whole thing: I’ll have to be comfortable finding times to slow down, and remember to pick up stride when necessary.

Round the back of Tescos in Portsmouth there’s this nice projection surface. Angular but flat would allow for some interesting mapping?

When you hear about Pakistan in the media lately, you pretty much hear about one town, Peshawar.

A stones throw from Afghanistan, Peshawar is the victim of countless bombings, and is considered highly ‘dangerous’ and a complete ‘don’t’ on your travel itinerary.
(If you’ve seen the Vice Guide to travel – Pakistan, it also neighbors with “Darra Adam Khel”, the gun manufacturing town they visit)
Of all the other backpackers I’ve met here in Pakistan none were visiting Peshawar, most labeling it as ‘not worth the risk’ etc etc.
I decided to go anyway.

When you think about a town that is being bombed (as in suicide/terrorism bombed, not NATO air-strike bombed) you have to keep something in mind:
Life goes on after a bombing.
To put it into a local perspective, if a bomb went off West Melbourne, its not going to shut-down Pahran for the day, or if it went off in Bondi Sydney, its not going to shut-down Newtown.
And to be caught up in such a thing, you would have to be in that exact spot at that exact moment.
30 seconds either side and you could be completely fine.
Realistically there’s more chance of getting hit by a car/rickshaw/truck crossing the street.

The moral of the towns-people and the general feeling within the area is a completely different matter, but I’m only talking about personal safety.

What does a Bomb Site look like?

I spent 4 days in Peshawar, walked all around the Old City and Saddar Bazaar, including exploring/photographing many of the existing bomb sites, and the whole time I felt completely fine.
You could argue ‘what i felt’ and the actual statistical ‘danger’ of Peshawar are two completely different things, but if you want a ground information interpretation this is it.

I didn’t feel any more threatened than I have in any part of the country, and for that matter, I haven’t felt threatened anywhere.
Considering all that they have been through, the people of Peshawar couldn’t have been any more hospitable and kind. I was continually invited for Chai at every shop I stopped, people offering to help me with anything I needed, and everyone always with huge smiles on their faces.
(Though the curiosity as to why someone would be traveling here never stopped.)

If you have the chance to visit Peshawar think twice about it, but only for the reason if it’s logical in your itinerary.

It was Monday, the 16^th of November 2009. NNW employees were going about doing their usual tasks looking forward to another lunch break of happy banter and warm, friendly laughter; little did they know that Friday the previous week would prove their last.

‘Eric was standing at the coffee machine. Marsha was at her desk on the phone to Med-tech regarding another advert in our paper. Robert was at the copier. I was about to take an early lunch since it was a hot day and the mask I wear around the office to conceal my identity was a little sweaty. Robert suddenly called out “We’re out of copy paper!” and I replied “I’ll pick some up, I’m on my way out anyway!” from the door. That would be the last time I’d ever see any of them. As I reached the foyer, there was a terrible explosion and next thing I knew, I was covered in debris. My right leg was broken in several places and it took rescue workers over ten minutes to dig me out. It was more angering than traumatic for me though,’ NNW Chief Editor recounts.

The police have made no arrests yet and are still investigating. Apart from several sets of fingerprints, some hair fibres and a tooth, there was absolutely no forensic evidence to be found on the debris from any of the five bomb casings recovered by crime scene investigators.

There’s been a general public outcry about the attack on NNW and apart from an email sent by an anonymous individual, nobody or group has claimed responsibility for the attack, making it even harder for investigators. ‘Where do you start? With a list of NNW’s enemies? Please, that’s a list that could wrap the equator twice,’ says Detective Inspector David Lewis who’s heading the investigation.

NNW have sworn that this attack will in no way intimidate them and that they will continue seeking the truth. ‘We will not step down from this fight but we must, for now, stop to lick our wounds. We will also be going underground and thus the quality of the paper may be compromised for a few weeks. We ask that our readers please be understanding and continue to support us so that we may continue our work: to seek the truth and bring it to you impartially as always,’ NNW Chief Editor says. Since Monday, he has changed the customary “smiley-face” mask he wears to a sad one, a symbol of his mourning.

Paintings_Ha Sayf_2008.

Have you been hearing your windows vibrate and rattle the last couple of days? If so, here’s your explaination: Bombing Practice at the Pinecastle Bombing range. For more information see the Orlando Sentinel article.

I feel like I’m typically very upbeat on this blog: it’s partly because I am extremely fulfilled and happy doing comedy, and partly because I don’t believe this should be a forum for whining and moaning about the low moments in this journey, though those happen, too.  Comedy, to me, is much like long-distance running.  Very solitary, exhausting, but quite often a ‘mind over matter’ game.  Some miles in a marathon race you are high on endorphins, and other times you can’t seem to get up the hill.  I know that if I spend time dwelling on things I don’t get, or how much further I have to go, it takes away from my ability to enjoy the race, and focus on moving forward.

That being said, I would like to share what it’s like to have a bad show: when no one is laughing, the crowd is dead, and you just have to keep moving forward.  That clip is here (occurred on this past Friday night.)  Taping my sets is a necessity: it allows you to see your presence, where laughter is happening, if you’re stepping on it, if you have filler words that are taking away from the punchline, etc.  “Watching the tape” – especially when it’s a tough show – is somewhat brutal, but does help.  Every time I watch my tapes I feel my body physically tense up.  Is there laughter?  Is it enough?  Why am I doing that thing with my hand!?  And so on.

You can suss out a room the minute the first comic is up.  Every time a comic comes off stage and back into the green room, the comics after them always say: “How were they?”  ‘They’ being the audience, of course.  ‘They’ were not in the mood this past weekend, that’s for sure.  I watched the girl before me struggle and due to some light / timing conflict, she actually left the stage in the middle of her final joke.  Awkward!  I knew blazing ahead with material was not going to work based on the circumstances.

And it was odd: as I expected, I didn’t get much laughter, but I felt extremely comfortable.  Some great comic (I forget who) said to ‘cherish the silence’ in your set.  It is very calming to just stand there and take a moment.  Plus, when it’s awkward (like it was on Friday) it can be pretty fun(ny).  I don’t want to become someone who blames the audience: sure, I’ve told a lot of the jokes in this clip before to great laughter, but just because they weren’t on board doesn’t mean I get to surrender.  Nor should I pretend these nights don’t happen: they happen way more often than the good nights.