Kansas City Times, August 7, 1919. “One half of one percent” was the allowed alcohol content of “near-beer” under Prohibition. Mince at 14.12 % would definitely be more efficient.

We all know the drill, we go out to JJ’s Bohemia’s dance parties. Get sweaty, get love, get drunk, get more love, then pass out. Are you ready for this?

LET US MAKE PLANS TO DO THIS!

Technically this is a fruitcake, but in reality it was more cake than fruit and a boozy one at that. Instead of making one loaf, I made minis for easier sharing. These were a big hit at both work and with the family. The recipe called for brandy and amazingly enough my liquor collection (in existence only since I started baking) does not have brandy. Instead of brandy I used amaretto.

Thank you to Karin of Sugar and Spice & Everything Nice for hosting Golden Almond Fruitcake, this week’s Sweet Melissa Sundays. If you would like the recipe, visit her blog or buy the book.

(Today I am in Rarotonga, Cook Islands.)

Hey guys!

I’m back home! Sorry about the super-brief post, just wasn’t feeling the blogness with people around me. Blogging is something I like to do alone, mostly because all my feelings and thoughts come to me more clearly and uncontaminated. I think I like blogging more than I like a diary or even talking to people directly about my problems or anything, for that matter. It’s crazy to me to think that anyone could see what I write, from my mom, or a teacher or someone random who maybe works at a store I like, or someone who see’s me alot, but doesn’t know I write this blog. It’s interesting, i guess. Anyways, here I am, and I’m alone, so I’m gonna blog.

Holidays are really fun for me. Well for a while they weren’t that great, but recently I’ve reunited with a part of my family that I haven’t seen/talked to in 4 years. Idk how or why it happened, but miraculously, we all reunited for my great0uncles 75th birthday and its been great from there! Thanksgiving is an especially good holiday, because everyone is in good spirits, lots of delicious food, its a holiday that is hard to spend without family, and the sales after rock. Another weird thing I noticed about holidays is that there’s alot of booze, therefore alot of truth comes out when you wouldn’t expect it. It all started when my aunt said that she didn’t approve of homosexuality and my mother went in for the rebuttal, note that both of them are drunk. From there it spirals into many a conversations aabout feeling like the odd man out in the family, drugs, alcohol, Christianity. It was an intense night, but I was forced to question the actual meat of the conversation due to both sides drunkenness. Anyways I’d chalk it up to a good holiday. After thanksgiving sales, I have to admit, weren’t too hot this year. Maybe it’s just me?

Has anyone ever been in a situation where you’ve been in one scenario for so long that you actually think it is normal. And then you witness other people’s situation ’s and realize that yours is not at all normal? Well I had that revelation these past few days. Some people realize that maybe the way they dress isn’t normal, or maybe that the relationship their in isn’t healthy. But me, I realized my relationship with my mother isn’t normal. This weekend I noticed that my cousins talk alot to their mother (my aunt) about just things….nothing in particular. But with me, my mom never talks to me expect when its a command or complaint. Also, when we do talk about other things it seems very forced and fake, or like she’s just writing off everything I said. It’s kind of depressing, and ever since she got her Blackberry, she NEVER talks to me inside the house. In the midst, of all this nonchalance about what I have to say, or what I think, she also almost shot me over the mention of me going to college somewhere far away from home. So I don’t know, maybe it’s something I need to work on. And I don’t wan to tell her anything because she’ll get mad, but I realized too she smokes and drinks way more than normal. Hm…

Well on the break up front, I think I’m doing well. I don’t really think about him too much, only when I hear a song about relationships or something like that. I mostly just listen to my music and it helps me get by, also with my family around me it helped me forget alot about the situation and realize all the things I have to be happy about in life, I’m a senior in high school, I have family that loves me, I am healthy, there’s a roof over my head, and most of all, I know God. I also realized that there’s alot of things I have to be sad about, instead of him ; like the fact that my mom is an alcoholic and doesn’t like me very much, or that I’m getting pimples from all the stress from the break-up. I also started talking to one of my male friends, one of few…and I feel better that at least I have a male to vent to to see their perspective. I get sick of females sometimes. I still miss him everyday though…

Anyways tomorrow I have alot of stuff to do, since I’ve been away from home for a week now…well 5 days. So I’ll blog when I have times.

Thanks for reading again

Eyes raw and spackled with cat hair, I wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water. This was the most important thing in the world, you see, this watering. I crossed the linoleum one slow inch at a time, so as not to upset the inner-ear, and blessedly claimed my pot of gold which had awaited at the end of the boozbow.

As I drank of Mother Nature’s joyful tears, it occurred to me that something was different. I studied the fridge. No pictures. No dumb headlines (“Brown Eyed in Acorn Probe”) No early crayola works of a future master – Not one. Clean as a whistle. No dogs, no river wars, no camping singalongs, no shotgun weddings, no sunsets, no bluish snorklers holding hands atop a dumbfounded turtle…not even a random babe.

Fear T-boned my gut like a herd of rhinos. What was wrong? What had I done this time? I did wake on the 10 minute couch, but that is not illogical, or unnormal for that matter. Why wake a perfectly good sleeper, a far more innocent soul, with my rambunctious sleep-bound gyrations? It was late, when the garage concerto came to an ugly head. At least 4:30 am, and there was serious talk of going to the beach to gander at rare waves and a pissy sun. But I do not believe that this meteorological mission occurred, judging by the lack of sand in my beard.

Why on earth would someone come in and steal all of our photographs and carefully vetted fridge magnets while leaving me utterly unscathed, I wondered. Had we ordered a new fridge in my stupor? Montel’s juicer, maybe…likely, in fact. But no calls to Sears, or Home Depot rang any Bells. I had not won any bets, that I could recall. Nor had I lost any, at least none that required forfeiture of my magnetized collage. To the best of my knowledge. I had not made any donations to charity, unless you count Smacky’s Beer Cave and Corner Market till number two as charity. But the receipt jammed into my chest pocket said nothing of photographs. Only a 750 millisomething jigger of Jagermeister, eighteen Coors Light’s in cans, a set of dominoes, seven Lucky Seven lottery scratchers, a gross of tequila flavored beef jerky, several pairs of sunglasses, a pack of Marlboros, Snickers bar, snickers ice cream bar, tub of ice cream, and ten gallons of low grade diesel, which in hindsight is interesting because I think that I know for a fact that I did not drive to Smacky;s, and even if I had, I do not own a diesel.

The things that go through your head when you are dying of thirst! Like mercury through a collander, my mind raced from nowhere to nowhere, coming to all conclusions at once. The chilly fridge water coursed down my singed gullet, easing the reflux, cooling the kettle below slightly. I studied the madness that stood nakedly before me. White skin, stretched square. Too white. Too square. Suddenly I wanted more than anything in the world, even more than the water that I was now officially over, to have a round refrigerator. And not just circular. Round. Orb-like. No, not like an orb. Round. Lets see the bastards try and strip my memories from that! I thought. No one would dare to molest a round fridge. And if someone did exist, I would be ready for them. I would energize the surface with the electrodes scavenged from the Fort Ord perimeter fence. I would be ready…

Better late than never i guess

poker moment

barman in chief

local barman made George pass out at 8 o'clock in the afternoon

so it begins

you know what will follow if anapiros feels like that

Sis from B

there was cheap booze

Chris "the man" from Zero Gravity store treating Cefa

Mullet with some bike guys

break for some air guitar

Guy behind the lense, Dicky

Room visitors

David

creative moment

Back to the party. Everything seemed a bit blury. Maybe the lense's fault

At some point everybody were dancing half naked, i dont know why

That dog was so huge!

room pit stop #37

new dancing moves were invented

good night picture

.. and goodmorning with touli on the block

Thanks to Christos and the Zero Gravity crew for the hospitality, Sis F. for the weekend and all the party people there..

If you ever travel to Naousa or 3-5 Pigadia make sure you stay at Natura Hotel borders hotel

All photos by Dicky Bury. You can check his work here

Several years ago while I was living in Chicago I planned a Christmas trip to Phoenix. For some reason the train got me to the airport early so I splurged $50 on the United Red Carpet Club to relax and get some breakfast. When I got to the gate, I explained I was a Premier member and the gate agent handed me a first class ticket. This was going to be good seeing I was on the second level of a mammoth plane. I had a few drinks in my fantastic seat. The flight attendant offered more. Formerly being in the airline industry, I knew they were having engine issues. The plane sat for four hours and I was trashed. Finally the flight was cancelled. The wonderful flight attendant emptied his mini-booze bottles in my bag.

Now I had to fend for a flight to Phoenix with 350 other flyers. Then I remembered I had my all-day Red Carpet Pass and there was an agent present with no customers. Rather than waiting in line with the masses I darted to the agent who not occupied in the club. Every flight was full. I asked her to get me to LA seeing I could always drive to Phoenix. There was one seat in first on a flight leaving in 30 minutes, however I would have to fly from LAX to Phoenix on Christmas day and spend the night in an LA hotel. I made my flight and landed in LA.

Before the plane took off I called Starwood seeing if their were any rooms at an airport hotel. All the rates where cheap so I went with the Westin. Being a Gold Card Member at Starwood you get an upgrade and your ass-kissed among other amenities. When I arrived, exhausted, there was no ass-kissing from the bitter queen behind the counter. Maybe all the running around made me look like crap or it could have been the reek of booze oozing from my pores. All I got on Christmas Eve was a regular room. The room looked like an ordinary Westin room, except the bathroom. The bathroom needed some major bloody rehab. I was scared to take a shower.

My father gave me permission to order room service on him since I was stuck at an airport hotel on Christmas Eve. We never got to celebrate our special Christmas Eve tradition of champagne and caviar ever again. I don’t remember what the hell I ordered. I know I ordered lots of diet coke for my mini-booze treats and something about a cheese cake that tasted like a “no-bake cake.” When I woke up in the morning I was hung over and had to wait 30 minutes in the freezing cold for the airport bus to take me back to LAX. Good news was I got United to pay for the hotel and provide a voucher for $350! I don’t care what people say, I love United more than most airlines.

1 and 3/4 Mints

Baltimore Sun, March 26, 1892. Taking the uneasy way out.

Again, I’ll try to keep this quick, but it’s been a great Turkey Day.  I’m thankful for family, good food, and my wonderful husband.

We slept in until 10:30 this morning (I’m feeling sick again, boo!) and then woke up to the world’s tastiest breakfast.

My grandma is so cool, she had Greek Gods’ Honey Greek Yogurt waiting in the fridge for me!  I had a small bowl of fruit,

and honey Greek yogurt with berries and a sliver of homemade coffee cake.

Mmmmmmn!  I was in love with this breakfast!  If it wasn’t Thanksgiving I would have gone back for another bowl!  I think I’ve got my aunt hooked on Greek yogurt now too

We went to a family friend’s house for Thanksgiving at 1, so we headed out around noon to socialize.  Look how cute my grandparents are!

I’ve gone to Thanksgiving with this family ever year I’ve been with my grandparents and it’s always so much fun.  They have the best decorations, I wish I could have gotten more pictures.

I made a small appetizer plate with pretzels, honey raspberry dip, and crackers with dirty martini dip.

And I had a light beer to drink.

As I mentioned before, I am actually not much of a Turkey Day food fan!  I didn’t even eat any turkey meat!  I tried to just take a small bit of everything.

Clockwise from the top – stuffing and mashed potatoes with gravy, corn casserole, sweet potato casserole, roll, jello mold salad, cranberries.  I finished everything on my plate (except for the roll which I gave away).  I didn’t actually eat very much, but I didn’t do seconds because I knew dessert was coming.

I actually gave away that mini cake in favor of a second cookie!

It was great getting to catch up with people and Adam was definitely stuffed!  He took a fat nap before we even headed home, and hit the couch asap.  My grandmother and I wanted to take a nice walk but unfortunately it was raining.  The other disappointment was that there was nowhere for me to volunteer.  I really wanted to put in some time at a food bank or soup kitchen today but everywhere my grandma called had too many volunteers.

We ate dinner around 7, and I was actually hungry again.

Leftover sweet potato casserole,

and a yumtastic sandwich – turkey, cranberries, cream cheese.

Plus apple and celery salad on the side.

I was still a bit hungry so I went back for more salad.

We played cards after dinner.

I had a coffee with 2% and an amaretto stick,

a mini 7-up,

and a small handful of caramel corn.

We kept my grandparents up past midnight playing cards, I’d say it’s time for bed!

How was your turkey day?

Ah how we love vintage cocktail guides, but this one in specific we love for two reasons: the art and typeface are awesome and it is has a super guide for how much booze to have on hand for a party of 4 to 20 and wow what a lot of booze it is (check out chart below). Download whole brochure by clicking on title here:  It’s Party Time: Cocktail Brochure from Old Forester 1960s (pdf). You can download the whole guide as a pdf “It’s Party Time: Cocktail Brochure from Old Forester 1960s” or go to  our flickr stream for individual pages http://tinyurl.com/yzoel4a . Happy Holiday Season!

***WARNING: This episode contains spoilers
about the 1994 Coen brothers film
The Hudsucker Proxy***

Undaunted? Then by all means listen on, but don’t complain to us when you get to the 19th minute and discover that 15-year-old plot twist:

This week we bang on about:

Philip Larkin’s debut novel
the three second rule
Tom of Finland
Sir Patrick Mayhew
Jason and the Argonauts
Lorraine Kelly, record-breaker
Stephen Fry’s Paperweight
Sir Menzies Campbell
Rick Witter
the Milton Keynes Snow Dome
Vince McMahon
Porthos
urethral openings
raw chicken
Brewster’s Millions
and
travelators.

Also: how Olly breaks wind stealthily; how Helen’s congenital squint ruined Up for her; and how bananas work, according to Martin the Sound Man. You’d been wondering for years what secrets those little bastards were concealing, hadn’t you?

As ever we’re greedy for YOUR QUESTIONS, so ask ask ask via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. We’re very grateful to all of you who shared your stupid nicknames last week – which everyone else can enjoy here; this week, you have the easy task of leaving a comment with your answer to Jorge from Mexico’s question, telling us what you would like to do for one day and one day only. Nothing too blue, please; the shock could kill us.

Also, if you are planning on doing any pre-Christmas Amazon orders, would you be a tremendous dear and log onto their site via this link first? Your Amazonian shopping experience will be 100% the same; however we will then get approx. £0.0000001, which we can put towards a new microphone, or the high-class courtesan we’ve been saving up for. Much obliged to you.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Okay. Nobody really likes to think that the cocktail they happen to be drinking may add pounds they can’t get rid of later on. But, as someone who used to drink pretty frequently, unfortunately I know this to be true. If regular drinking is indeed your lifestyle, be prepared for potential extra pounds. Especially if you’re a girl.

Now, if you’re a guy, you happen to be lucky that your metabolism is naturally speedier than a girl’s due to your testosterone factor. But, excessive drinking kind of quashes that. If you’ve got a beer gut, that’s whatever you couldn’t burn off. (And if you’re just one of those toothpick-skinny men that stays that way in spite of copious amounts of booze, count yourself lucky.)

But, back to the ladies. Girls, our metabolisms get fussier, especially with age. And if we consume more than 10 drinks a week on a regular basis, it will mess with you. For one thing, the alcohol generally prevents us from losing weight properly. And if you’re attempting a serious fitness change, the booze won’t let you cruise. (I also know from personal experience that jogging with a tequila hangover is not pleasant. I don’t recommend it.)

And then there’s the calories. Oh yes, there are indeed calories in those sneaky little shots.

A shot of vodka can easily have close 70 calories as it is; factor in how your favorite bartender pours, and you could well have two shots in your drink, which is about 140 calories right off the bat. Also factor what you’re drinking your liquor with- cranberry juice, Coke, or sour mix- and you’ve got additional sugar calories that are floating around in there.

Pound back enough of those, and you’ll fit into a Santa suit just fine. Heck, given that I’ve drank about 15 shots on an average weekend night and over 20 shots on some of my more raucous evenings, I’ve had a few moments where I thought I could be the parade float instead of the beauty queen on it.

When I stopped drinking about three months ago, I lost weight almost instantly. I wasn’t consuming loads of excess empty calories during the week anymore, and my body started metabolizing what I was eating far more efficiently. Within two or three weeks, friends and neighborhood acquaintances remarked on my weight loss. I dropped a size, and it was all from giving up drinking.

If, however, you choose to keep drinking as part of your lifestyle, even as you choose to try to lose weight, the only answer I have is to be sensible. Stick to two glasses of wine while out. If you’re consuming liquor, cut it with club soda and a piece of lemon or lime. Avoid darker-colored liquors like Southern Comfort or Amaretto, for it contains more sugar than the clearer liquors like vodka or tequila. Be especially careful around rum, for even the clear variety has a lot of sugar.

And, finally, be informed. Look up your poison of choice, figure out just how many calories you’ve been taking in, and don’t let the high number stop or shock you. Instead, just factor how much you can drink that won’t cause your scale to yell at you later on, or elicit any comments of, “Have you gained weight?” Stick to a handful of drinks during the week, and you’ll generally be okay.

And, if you do end up drinking like you’re the president of your very own fraternity, just remember that your body WILL hate you the next day. And you might not fit in your pants later on.

We are in Ohio!  My grandmother’s internet isn’t the best and it’s been a long day so I won’t be able to be as detailed as I would like.  It’s been a good day though

We got up at 6:30 this morning and were out the door before 7am.  The trip was 400+ miles so we had to get an early start.  I packed up food for the road, a la Thanksgiving Challenge, threw on a sweatshirt and split.

I had some am amazing grass – 1banana, 1scoop grass, big pour skim milk, 8 ice cubes, blender.

I was so proud of the husband for drinking some too!

A few hours later I ate a yummy leftovers sandwich.

1.5 buffalo blue bean patties on toasted bread with honey and jack daniels mustard.

We split the driving fairly evenly – 2hours Adam, 2hours me, 2hours Adam.  The switches were a nice excuse for pee and diet soda breaks!

When we got in to Piqua my grandparents had a great lunch ready for us.

Carrot and dill soup was delicious.

And the two-cheese grilled cheese were so nice and gooey.

There were also spicy bread and butter pickles and sunchips on the table.

I ate more chips throughout the day than was a good idea!

To drink I had half of Adam’s holiday Coke,

and I split a lime beer with my grandmother.

For dessert I had a cherry cordial from the box of candy we brought as our hostess gift.

We had a great time hanging out with my grandparents.  We played Euchre and my grandpa bought us all fun lotto cards!

I didn’t win, but it was nice to dream.

My aunt and uncle drove up this evening and we all had a great dinner together (more soup and sandwiches!).

The soup was white chicken chili,

and the sandwiches were pulled chicken – I think we are done with chicken for a bit!

I also had one delicious deviled egg.

Dessert was homemade old fashioned cream pie.

It was awesome, but the crust was store-bought so I just scraped out the filling.

Plus coffee with 2% milk.

Look at their adorable sugar bowl!

Now it’s almost 10 and I would love to get in bed!  Overall it’s been a fabulous (filling) day!  My grandmother is such a good cook and it’s so great to be with family.

What do you usually pack for road trips?