The Introduction into the Mind of a Dooglesmoogle

Hey guys, kay i’m basically 18 this year, and i’m starting to question what i’m really doing with my life. Everyone around me seems to be going out every single week, drinking beer and alcohol, clubbing etc, and all I do is sit here at my computer, dotA, blog, and maybe go out occasionally for some movies, meals or pool. I guess i’m really quite a boring person with a boring personality. Well, what can I expect, growing up behind a closed door. I don’t really bother to interact much with my folks, and my brother is perpetually missing. He’s really quite the extreme side of a party kid. I have no idea how he maintains, but he’s been going out 99.9% of the time for 3 years straight, and my parents are ever so kind to constantly fund his playboy schemes, giving him money every time he steps out of the house – but when I ask for money, its like, they think i’m trying to rob them.

My typical conversation with my parents when I ask for a little cash now and then:

“Hey mon/dad, could I have $10? I’m going out and I kinda need money”.

‘WHY EVERY TIME MUST GIVE YOU MONEY AH? GO AND EARN YOUR OWN MONEY FIRST LAH!”

“But then why you can give Gerard money every time he goes out??!”

*conversation awkwardly goes silent*.

Typical Asian parents, always having a favorite amongst their children. The first time I watched a MyChonny video on YoutTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCu4uTKGXu0) on some of the things mothers do, I was like, DUDE, ARE YOU PSYCHIC?!

Well, as I type this, it so happens its just one hour into Mother’s Day, and it’s become so hard to wish my mother – that’s how far apart we are. When was the last time I hugged her? Well, I really can’t remember. I stopped giving her presents, and she just gives me money for my birthday. Its a funny thing – i’m the one who tells my parents what I want for my birthday.

I’m not sure if that saves them the trouble, or i’m just being a spoilt little bitch.

Oh yes, another thing about my parents. When I don’t go out, they tell me I should go out more often, but when I do go out, they tell me not to do it too often. I’m like, dafuq? What you talking man??

Fat Little Bastard

Food. Food is the word. I am a food junkie. I can literally make an entire species of fish go extinct whenever I go to a sushi bar. Nah, just kidding, but I can really whack when I want to. The trick is to keep it coming, don’t stop, just stuff it in. The moment you stop, you’ll lose your momentum. Yes, i’ve got a big mouth to stuff lots of things inside (hmm, should I have typed that?). Well, I used to be really, REALLY, overweight. Okay, i’m not talking Jabba the Hut fat, but its still kind of bad. I kinda told myself I had enough looking fat, oops, I meant ‘fluffy’, so I started to diet, run, gym, swim, and pretty soon, I lost about 25KG of fat (urghhh). I finally could look into the mirror and feel good about myself. I actually could fit into a size S shirt, and look even better on camera (okay, not Abercrombie and Fitch model-ish, but you get what I mean). BUT, that was all during my 6 month holiday period (oh the glory days). When school re-opened, and I was attached to a new school (Nanyang Polytechnic), well, lets just say having a waffle shop, MacDonald’s and Subway all next to each other, does things to you (or just to me).

National Cadet Corps

And yeah, i’m kinda part of an organization known as the National Cadet Corps. I’ve had people tell me its gay, its lame, and its a waste of time. Well, that’s really because they haven’t experienced it on the inside. For me, its really the people I meet inside that matters first, anything else we do, comes second (its still pretty awesome too!). Honest, the best part of it all is when my juniors come up to me to tell me that i’ve actually made a difference in his (yeah, when a guy says it, it means more LOL!) life. The first time this happened, I honestly, HONESTLY, felt one of the best feelings of my life. I guess that’s why I continue to do what I do. I’ll honestly cherish these small moments probably for the rest of my life. Just because my juniors are younger than me, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I don’t believe in the whole domineering overlord philosophy that other schools preach. I prefer establishing a bond and motivating my juniors to give off their best, rather than make them sweat out their performance.

My Love Life

Oh yes, my love life? Well, i’ll leave that entirely up for further speculation. Yeah, I must say, I have had a crush in my polytechnic… I look her way, she doesn’t notice me. Whenever i’m around her, it seems like nothing special happens. I guess maybe its not meant to be. She’s out of my league. Well, I have a saying amongst my friends (yes, its one for the books),”“No Time, No Money, No Luck”.

Tired as F**k, Lazy to Sleep

It’s 1.44am, and i’m really regretting taking a nap at 10pm just so I could play one last dotA match at 11pm. I kinda just finished watching Blade 2 (dayum, Wesley Snipe’s black body looks f**king sexy – how can I say that without sounding gay?). My eye lids are starting to get heavy though, and listening to music using my Razer Megalodon surround sound system for the past few hours is starting to give me a massive sore in the ear drums. Oh, weird, its playing Maroon Five’s song, ‘Daylight”. Kinda appropriate I guess. Maybe, it should be called, ‘Moonlight’?

Badabing.

Oh P.S, if you’re wondering what the flying f**k is the meaning of dooglesmoogle, well, i’m not sure what was I thinking when it crossed my mind. It honestly sounds like some kind of sex move? Like, “i’m gonna doogle your smoogle”. Urm, okay.

Dooglesmoogle, signing off. Time to go slumber land. Again.

From Tumblr.com

I survived my first semester of college! I didn’t completely bomb my finals (I think.. hopefully), and I just hope my grades turn up better than expected next week. Now that I’m officially on my month long Christmas vacation I’m already exhausted of the unexpected. I get it; I’m a total nerd. I like school, and I love learning. Leading a stagnant lifestyle with no expectations or clearly thought out plans give me the creeps. For the most part what I like for myself is a plan. If I could just pan out every moment of my life in a specific direction, I would. But then again, we all have to “expect the unexpected” and “taking things one step at a time”. An excess of cliché lines but accurate enough. When will I learn the art of going with the flow?

Spontaneity is a good thing, and it’s refreshing to experience. The thing about me and spontaneous moments is that they happen when I have the time to let them happen. Summer for example is the time for the unexpected and the unplanned, but somehow that also reflects a well-devised system. I like the control I have over my life; sometimes I feel like I have too much control over it that I’m on a monotonous path to boring adulthood. It’s true that I want to live a life far different from the norm. Where in I’d put myself first and my interests are my priorities. I’ve always felt like the only way I can accomplish that life that I oh-so-thoughtfully planned out is to actually keep a level head on what I should be doing at times that they need to be done. Everyone tells me I should take a break, and I do! It’s just that my definition of a “break” differs from the vast majority. Don’t judge the fact that I actually like to read socio-economic, political and medical articles. That I like to research about the world’s monarchies, and that I enjoy looking up med schools and how to gain acceptance to them. That’s just my version of leisure. Everyone has their weird habits/guilty pleasures. I just can’t help the fact that I’m boring and am embracing it full on. How about you guys? What are your outtakes on spontaneity and breaks?

I don’t think I’m a boring person, but I do think I live a boring life.

Something needs to be done.

Now that I’ve missed my bus, maybe I’ll pen it down, sort my life and make it a little more interesting….just maybe.

Well, time has passed and my lovely student has continued to make me chuckle daily with her creative interpretation of le vocabulaire !

Check out her humorous illustrations of:

“un/une colocataire“

(aka: a roommate)!

“un sbire“

(aka: a henchman)

“un sans domicile fixe (un SDF)“

(aka: a homeless individual)

“un double/un sosie“

(aka: a lookalike or doppelganger)

“un enquiquineur“

(aka: an extremely boring person)

How great are these?! This student is AWESOME!

Coming to terms with the persona that is being portrayed via bored Facebook updates and things of that nature is a little tough. I suppose I understand why many people would rather not actually hang out with me if all they see me saying is how bored I am all the time and how I have nothing to do… Who wants to hang out with the guy that can’t think of anything to do but sit in front of Facebook and complain. Also, I’m starting to see boredom more as a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Say you’re bored and bored you shall be. It is difficult to break that circle as a result of that prophecy. By repeating it, I am slowly just placing myself in this category of “boring person” a.k.a. uninteresting, basically. I wish someone would have called me out on the way I have been personifying myself to the public by quaking about how bored I am all the time. I will do the dirty work myself and call myself into the spotlight.

Now a shift.

I can easily come up with many reasons why I have been ok with being bored so frequently recently. Lack of financial means, not feeling like anyone wants to be around me, certain things are not rewarding (or important enough in my eyes). I’m sure there are more but those are the big ones that I know motivate my relationship with boredom. The first one is kind of an obvious one. If I had more money I would be more willing to get out and do things with people, or even alone, and not be content with sitting and watching the second hand tick away on my day. Enough said about that aspect. The second one, however, has always been a little struggle for me to deal with. Feeling like people genuinely want to be around me has never really come easy to me. “Surely, they have better things to do, or more fun friends than me” typically runs through my mind whenever someone says they want to do something with me. Its not that I discount their opinion or their ideas about me, its an internal thing that I just can’t seem to shake and say “listen buddy, they want to hang out with YOU and thats that.” Work in progress? Yes please. This feeling of unimportance has led me to a lifestyle of second guessing attempts at social interactions for fear of continual second guessing during the social interaction. I have a hard time coming up with fantastic things to do with people, and it intimidates me to initiate a hang out session and then say “I don’t really have anything in mind, I kind of just wanted someone to hang out with and do nothing with, or see what happens.”

Last (for this post anyways) is the feeling that the things that I could be doing are just plain not important and no one has interest in the things I do anyways, so… why do them? Combine that with the increased visibility of all the things that are getting accomplished by other people on a constant basis and you can see where things would get pretty tough to get going. “Oh you read a couple chapters in your little book about nothing? Thats fantastic. Meanwhile, I was busy being amazing and accomplishing numerous great things and making lots of progress in all that I’m doing” seems to be the vibe that I feel radiating off of my Facebook page. From many many people. It gets disheartening to pick up a book for enjoyment when I could be reading something that could be throwing me down into an intellectual breakdown. Critique something rather than enjoy something. This feeling also emanates from within my self as well. I am eager to be reading and researching things that I am interested and that will help increase my knowledge of the world around me and of the many numerous disciplines I will encounter. However, I just can’t see the benefit of it personally. (Something I am working on very diligently in all honesty). I feel like I have illustrated the feelings that I get that seem to just invite the reaction in my brain of “its ok, don’t worry about it dough head, just be bored, you’re better off that way anyways, you can’t compete.” So I don’t.

Until now. In the spirit of essentially re-creating myself and re-creating my life in the vision that I want my life to be in, I am going to continue to work on pushing aside that voice in my head that defeats my efforts before they have begun. I need to work on being more self-encouraging and self-motivating to get the things that I want done and to try and make them relevant and important to myself and to others. Maybe I’m not reading deep heavy theories of psychological development in lab rats or in Alzheimer’s sufferers, so what? The things that I do read and that I do take interest in are just as interesting and thought provoking, and I’m going to make it a point to put those ideas from my brain and my knowledge out there for people to respond to. There will be profound things said (hopefully) and some not so profound things, but they are getting said.

Starting… lets say… yesterday.

JI

The pre-plastered TR at the Christmas party, which doesn't really belong in here anymore since I took reference to it out. Knighthawk laughed at my Farrah hair. Heh.

that someone ought to be able to connive or contrive something entertaining to undertake or at least conjure, there comes a time when you’ve run the gamut on what can be done or said or acted upon. I mean, I could run in place in my office or take my markers and color on the walls, but that would be perceived as undignified and unprofessional . . . and, thus, unwise.

I tweeted this earlier because it historically rings true to me in three of the categories: “Top 10 Ways Companies Lose their Best Employees:” http://ow.ly/84oIQ.” Boredom and not buying into an employees passion are biggies.

At any rate, at least for now, for this instant, I have overcome the doldrums by, of course, blogging about them. But now I’ve run out of things to say . . .

Steps

1. Learn the basic word for “bored” in Spanish: aburrido. It is pronounced, roughly, ah-boo-REE-doh, but if you don’t know how Spanish is pronounced, it is best to hear the word spoken. [1]
2. Choose the right verb. If somebody is bored, you need to use a form of the verb estar. If you mean that somebody is boring, because he or she is that sort of person, you will use a form of the verb ser.[2]
   • Estoy aburrido. (I am bored.)
   • Es aburrido. (He is boring; he is [always] a boring person.)
   • Los libros son aburridos para mi. (Books are boring to me.)
3. Make sure the adjective agrees with the gender and number of the people
   • Los profesores son aburridos. (The teachers are boring.)
   • Ella está aburrida. (She is bored.)
4. State what bores you with the verb “aburrir”. Remember to conjugate this verb, and remember that it is reflexive when used with people, but not reflexive when used with things.[3]
   • Ese hombre se aburre. (This man is bored.)
   • Los libros me aburren. (Books bore me.)
5. Express a lack of interest by saying that a thing does not interest you. Remember that the verb must agree with the thing, not the person:
   • No me interesan los detalles. (The details do not interest me.)
   • No me interesa este cuento. (That story does not interest me.)
   • To say that something is interesting, simply omit the “no”: Me interesa aprender más. (It interests me to learn more.)
6. Express a lack of importance in a similar fashion. In Spanish, rather than say “it is not important,” you will say something more like “it does not import to me.”
   • No me importa. (It is not important to me; it doesn’t matter.)
   • No me importan los detalles. (The details are not important to me.)
   • No me importa aprender a nadar. (It is not important to me to learn to swim.)
7. Learn an idiom to describe indifference. To say something doesn’t matter to you or makes no difference, you can use the phrase me da igual or me da lo mismo. Literally, it means “it gives me the same”. Here is an example.
   • Lo más importante es lo interior. Lo de afuera me da igual. (What’s most important is what’s inside. What’s outside makes no difference.)

Sources and Citations

1. ↑ http://www.wordreference.com/es/en/translation.asp?spen=aburrido
2. ↑ http://www.drlemon.net/Grammar/servsestar.html
3. ↑ http://www.wordreference.com/es/en/translation.asp?spen=aburrir

Article provided by wikiHow.

If you are looking for an interactive audio that focus on essential Spanish words and phrases and their pronunciation Rocket Spanish is the way to go. You’ll be surprise at how easy learning Spanish could be.

Sit back, relax and nod your head in approval through my bitching because you might just have the misfortune of having the same kind of people in your life. Or it might be a good thing if you can turn it into a post like me ( At this point I’m hoping what I’m going to write does not suck.)

First smurf coming up:

NALIN!  Because he sort of called me a hungarian hooker ! wtf.

Okay, I’m digressing.He’s not a smurf, more like a blue baby rabbit who’s going away to Canada to study Automotive parts. Sigh. That’s enough information, creepy psychos GO STALK!

G-Smurf: He’s these reaaally boring person who keeps talking and drawing up stupid statistics and basically eats the shit out of my head when I’ve been through a really long day and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah*

* the yawn-ness of g-smurf has made me too lazy to type this post any further so I’m just gonna have my dinner and get back on a fresh new topic. Btw, scroll down to my poll box and VOTE people. Don’t just read. Excerise your fingers and your rights. Vote, vote, comment. Feel free to express yourself. Get those fingers tapping and DO NOT watch the Smurfs or associate yourself with anything that looks like them.

And if you use Smurf in a sentence i will choke you to death. I smurf 

I mean swear.

sooooo. since i have written, it has become 2011. i have been doing 5 day weeks at work for the past couple of weeks, haven’t gone back to derby (although i really, truly miss it and wish to go back soon) i have also been driving – but my parents still haven’t taken me out, so that venture’s going pretty mighty slow and i did in fact get offered a place at macquarie uni. yay! not bad for someone who didn’t know what the fuck to do and did some totally lame move and dropped out of UWS and still hasn’t told people. meh. they’ll find out eventually like when they find out about my tattoo, LOL.

on another note, this new year’s eve and day was better than last year’s so hopefully this year doesn’t go to shit like last. luckily it was mostly a big fast blur and i’m heading on the right track now. i am 19 on monday, so that’s a bit exciting. going karaoke on saturday night in the citayy even though i have work at 6am on sunday morning. it will be a joy.

i think work has made me boring. it has stolen my social life. and the 6am, 5am starts have just made me physically and mentally tired (temporarily) as soon as i leave in a few years (hopefully after i graduate and find another job) i’ll get back my nice little sleeping pattern. but until then, i remain a boring 19 year old. seriously, i’m sooo boring. it’s getting to the point where i like my own company over other people. um honestly, going out is a bit of a burden. yes, i am a boring person. i like sleep, writing, music, movies and getting through life, Lol. maybe roller derby, i like that too. and acapella.

i’ve done a fair bit of writing in about 4 hours, so that’s okay. not the best. but i figured if i just START writing then it will be harder to not to write and then i can just go over everything when i’ve finished. just so long as i’ve got something written down.

right now, shizz is going down in QLD, north of NSW, apparently half the state is in danger of flooding and has flooded. been seeing some pretty intense footage on tv at the moment, it’s pretty big news. pretty terrible. this whole summer so far has been miserable. this rain is giving me the shits. but then again…heat’s not really my thing. i hate sweating. and i tend to sweat a lot. okay, i am gross, i have a sweating problem thing i swear to eff. anyway, i read an article in the paper at work about predictions and theories about an impending apocalypse. interesting stuff. can’t say i totally believe in it but wouldn’t it be really effing interesting/amazing if that shit happened and all this craps happening which is warning of the impending apocalypse. or maybe the truths not exactly all that mapped up but there’s truth to some theories, like they are all interconnected or something. food for thought. a theme in the story i’m watching. sounds very much like supernatural but i think it’s more about the experiences of these different people and what it means to be human more than anything like that apocalypse, heaven and hell stuff.

but anyway, interesting.
i think i really hate clubbing. and i haven’t even been anywhere. if people go there to “meet someone” like – what does that even say about the person you are meeting? i dont think it’s an all too suitable place to meet someone decent to be in a long term relationship with. okay, so princess mary met old fred fred at a bar…but they were at the bar because they were probably having some laid back meal watching olympics on the tv screen away from too much hustle and bustle. it’s kinda different. not too keen on the sweaty drunk guy grinding up against me wanting to “hook up” and then trying to give me his number. oh yep, there’s a potential long-term relationship right there lololol. man, i am so boring it’s insane. what’s even more insane is that i don’t even care. sorry Naomi, we don’t live in this fantasy Jane Austen world where we are presented in society as debutante’s and get escorted by males at dances under parental supervision. you wanna get with a guy? hook up with that drunk sweaty dude.

not sayin’ alcohol’s all that bad. i like my alcohol, lol. i just dislike the dick’s that abuse the crap out of it. because that’s saying you’re an idiot. and an idiot isn’t worth dating. Lol.

ahhh anyway, i like how i completely switched topics. i kinda want uni to start already so i know for sure this is what i want to do. but then again i don’t think i’ll ever be sure what i want to do. because i haven’t felt that feeling yet. you know that thing where there’s a moment in time and it just feels so intensely right. like it’s fate. haven’t felt it. still waiting, looking. hellooo? where are you. why can’t i figure it out? ehhhhhhhhhhhh.

anyway here’s to not updating in another 6 months, haha.

peace.

A question I ask myself: What do people usually expect out of relationships? You find somebody you love/like, who feels the same way about you and decide to make your relationship official. Now what? What happens when you’re actually in the relationship? Oh, I know. You get to spend more time exclusively with that one person. You exchange cool romantic moments along with those you-belong-to-me kisses on the forehead. But yeah, people just want to enjoy the presence of the one they love… I guess. What’s a relationship if you don’t enjoy being with the person, right? I guess what I’m trying to say is… I think I’d be a boring girlfriend. I’m not really fit to be in a relationship, as much as I would want to be in one.

I have this feeling that if I get a boyfriend, I wouldn’t be good enough for him. I still live with my parents, so I still live under their rules. That means I have to not only ask permission to go out, but have to tell them where I’m going, who I’m going with, how I’m getting there, and at what time I’d be back. That in itself is a hassle sometimes. Anyway… if they know I’m dating someone, they give me a limit on the amount of time I can see him. Example, the last boyfriend I had: my mom only let him come over for an hour, if anything. Even if someone I were dating did want to see me, they would hate coming to my house. It’s so boring here. There’s nothing to do sometimes. Plus, everyone claims my mom gives them a dirty look or the stink eye. No one realizes that it’s just the way she looks :/ (she actually tries to be really nice with my guests).When I would go out I would usually have to be home before dark or at a specified time. I remember on Valentine’s day my parents told me to come home at like 6pm (whata eff?!).

I dunno, I just don’t feel like I would be good enough for the types of guys I like. Y’know… the cute, tall, light-skinned intellectuals that make cheesy jokes, but are still cool enough to party on weekends (bonus points if they know their way around the internet). Hahaha. I don’t even know what my ideal guy is… all I know is that even if I do find him someday, I’m not good enough for him. I don’t think anyone would wanna be with a girl that spends all her time sitting in front of a computer because she isn’t allowed to go out all that much. I mean, I’m not even good looking to most eyes.

Lmao. Angelica Vale’s “Aqui Estare” (the theme song from La Fea mas Bella) totally started playing right now. Que conveniente, no?

I guess I just want somebody that my parents really really really like. I just have this feeling that if they absolutely approve of the person I’m dating, they’ll change and let me see him more. I have this theory that it’ll make me that much happier if I know my parents are happy to see me with him. Nahh not really. I’m just kinda typing out of my ass now. But really, I just want someone that isn’t scared of going up to my mom and feels comfortable enough around my family to make some sort of conversation with them when they’re around. My parents hate people that don’t talk. Uhhh… this is turning into a different blog. I’ll try to stay on topic.

I forgot how I was gonna present everything, so I’ll wrap this up. I’m boring. Any guy I like would deserve better than me. I’m always home. I can’t really get out of here. I’m really awkward when I’m alone with somebody. I can never think of anything to talk about if the other person doesn’t bring up a topic. It’s really hard for me to hold a one-on-one conversation, and I hate small talk.

Also, most of the guys I’ve liked are gay or have the potential to be… but that’s a blog for another day. Hahaha. If they’re not gay, they usually have really cool, good-looking female friends that intimidate me.

As I suspected, this blog didn’t come out the way I wanted to. Horribly structured, and I can’t even tell what I’m saying anymore. Ughh.. The End?

In case you were wondering, the title of this post was inspired by this scene from Scrubs:

I’m not even sure if it fit the topic, haha. Oh well. It just kinda made me think of how I see myself in comparison to others. I guess you can say I’m the sidekick in my own fantasies too.