i like chamonix and i like boulders. this video ticks them boxes. it’s beautifully filmed

more at www.jefilm.com

Last Sunday we went again to our project. I haven’t trained much the week before (some pain in my fingers) so felt not completely, but fairly relaxed and ready to crunch. I managed to climb through all the hard moves three times, but failed on the literally last move every time.

Anyway, this still was a success, but some of my fingers were hurting, and it turned out over the next three days that especially the left ring finger is injured. I decided to take a week off, which was hard, as I already had a week off a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, I spend the week eating lots of food and chocolate and getting used to the wine.

We then had some people visiting us and I took a day off work yesterday. We had a very nice hike and I must say that I’m proud of Jakob, as he walked all those 11 kilometres on his own two little feet.

Today, our visitors left and I went straight to my project. I warmed up, my fingers did not hurt and I felt strong and relaxed. Everything was fine, but a crucial thing was missing: a spotter. I started walking around looking for some friends. They weren’t keen to come around, but at least I returned with another pad, so I could try it on my own. I had to warm up again, this time failing on each of those hard moves. But, surprisingly, after another short break I managed to get it done first go. I was expecting to feel anything special, as this was the first time I properly projected something. I felt happy that it had gone so well this time, but that’s all.  The problem is named ‘Auf den letzten Drücker’ and gets 7c+, which makes it my first problem in that grade. I will post a few photos later this week (edit: just added a photo at top of the post). I’m keen for more projects now, but unfortunately there are not many problems in this grade in this area. Well, we’ll see. Tomorrow, however, I will be back again on the (former) project as the Physicist has to do it yet.

Quinta-feira, Thursday, and another night for bouldering in Sintra.  Truth is I have not been bouldering too much recently, a fact I attribute to a combination of reasons.  For one, I have been sport climbing more and really enjoying it; secondly: the weather has been gnarly, either rainy or not rainy but really humid and damp… when will the cold crisp weather arrive?!; and lastly because many/most/all of the projects I had before coming to Portugal have been sent.  There are plenty of lines, plenty!! but the main projects, and the ones that I could climb by myself with two pads, I have already done.

Well, it was a nice week and a half hiatus from bouldering and I was ready to start again.  I met up with Pena and Rasta at the Malveira sector and after an hour we were joined by Philippe Ribiere who is doing a yearlong climbing tour in Europe (the Evolution Tour), this is nearing the end of his tour.  You can check out Philippe’s website here.  The weather was good though not too cold and after 3 short climbs I tried a nice classic called Bife na Pedra (7b), an aethetically nice line with good moves and I got very close but decided to move on and come back to it later when I would be properly warmed-up and moving better (this was not to happen).

We then went to a climb which Pena wanted to try called: Talochas (7b+), this, for me, was the gem of the night.  Upon seeing it I remembered that I had been with Macau when he first scouted this problem, at night about 4 years ago.  The line climbs a really nice rounded corner, starting off with a few reachy and balancy moves to two good crimps, then a long dyno to a slopey left-hand hold leaves you footless and you have to figure out some way to past your feet on the wall to make a long reach to some better holds.  The landing is kind of spicy but can be well protected, you really don’t want to fall higher than the crux though.  We all gave it some good effort and I managed to get the second ascent.  It is hard for me to grade since it involves the mental crux as well but since it got done pretty quickly I might suggest a slightly lower grade.  Regardless, it is a beautiful line with nice committing moves.

That was the gem of the night, the anti-gem was O Bigorna (7a+).  The problem itself is not that bad.  It is an obvious line with a rounded and technical topout that would shrink your nuts if it were any higher than it already is.  It was MY anti-gem of the night because I peeled off the topout, fell on the spotter and twisted my left ankle…  I got back on and managed to send the problem after two more tries but the ankle cooled down and it was definitely not 100% so I couldn’t try any more climbs.  I was worried about further damaging the ankle so even though we went to a few more beautiful lines (Body Pump 7b+/7b, Dinossaurus 7c+ and back to Bife na Pedra) I was unable to give them any significant effort.  I have learned that I can’t boulder at 60% effort… it really has to be at least 90% and with my mind on the ankle I couldn’t do anything.

Two days later and the ankle is feeling better so I don’t think this injury will plague me for more than a week.

Philippe took many pictures of that night and I’ll put them up as soon as I have them.

Update: photo by Philippe of me on the Talochas dyno:

Photo by Philippe of Pena on Talochas:One of my few half-assed attempts at Body Pump, already with a sprained ankle, photo by Philippe.  Pena was so close!!!

Thanks Philippe.

If you were paying attention, and I’ll assume that you were, as hanging on my every word is quite unavoidable, you’ll notice where I called this page a sports site. This is only partially true (you’ll find, as we go forward, that partial truths are one of my many fortes, along with sneaky lies, eloquent hyperbole, and expertly placed scorn). In addition to sports, I will also be covering games. To deal with issues of server space and short attention spans, the two have been amalgamated under the catch-all phrase “sports” in such a way that they’ve lost all distinction. Well, I’m here to set the record straight… which should have been listed amongst my fortes… setting the record straight. I’m very good at it.

And actually, the distinction is quite simple to understand… and here’s the litmus test; if a fat 60 year old can do it moderately well, it’s not a sport, it’s a game. Simple as that.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

But first, let’s start by saying I’m not going to mention anything that’s so obviously a game that its’ combatants won’t even complain at having it called so. These include poker, backgammon, Madden challenge, Scrabble, spelling bees, etc… These have at most a very little physical aspect to them, and thus don’t qualify as a sport under any definition of the world. Plus, a fat 60 year old, after some practice, could be the best in the world at any of them.

American Football – Sport. Clearly, our fat 60 year old could strap on a helmet and shoulder pads and proceed to play the game, but this is where the “moderately well” portion of our litmus test comes into play. I would also recommend a stretcher, ambulance, priest and his loved ones be nearby.

Archery - Game. Games can be broken down into two categories… strictly mental games, like the ones mentioned above (Poker, Backgammon, etc…), or games that combine both mental and physical aspects. Alas, when it comes to archery’s physicality, we’re talking hand-eye coordination (true of many games) and average levels of strength. A fat 60 year old can handle those aspects.

Australian Rules Football – Sport. I would, though, like to see our fat 60 year old in one of these. Wait, no I wouldn’t. Forget I said that.

Auto Racing – Game. Let’s be honest here… the cars are the athletes. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The drivers, not so much. Yes, it’s physically and mentally demanding… but can you really sit there and tell me, perched on your high chair like you most certainly are, that a fat 60 year old couldn’t win one race, let alone do moderately well? Already, Mark Martin of Nascar fares quite well at age 50, and the oldest winner was 52. Formula one’s oldest winner was 53. And we’ve got a fat guy that regularly wins in Tony Stewart. Would he win? Probably not. Could he do moderately well? Definitely.

Badminton – Sport. Yes, our fat 60 year old, depending on what strata of society he finds himself within, might play regularly… probably with regular breaks for tea and judging people. But put that same fat 60 year old in a competitive environment, and he loses every time. There’s nothing “moderately well” about that.

Baseball – Sport. Baseball’s one of the trickier ones to call, actually. Most players are involved in a sport, but pitchers, particularly those pansies from the American League (what with the designated hitter rule), might be playing a game. We’ve seen plenty of successful fat guys… C.C. Sabathia, David Wells, Bartolo Colon, Jumbo Brown… most of them pitchers (though certainly the aforementioned designated hitter and first base are prone to successful fat guys, like Cecil Fielder, and John Kruk)… but could our 60 year old do it, at least moderately well? Maybe, but he’d have to be pretty special. And since most baseball players qualify as athletes playing a sport (unless you could see our fat 60 year old chase down a fly ball, or steal second… I don’t), we’ll call baseball a sport.

Basketball – Sport. Through and through. Even if our fat 60 year old was 7′4″, he still wouldn’t hold up, and that’s saying something.

Bobsleigh – Game. Any activity where gravity does the most work is a game. That fact should maybe be at the top, but at least it’s here. A fat person actually benefits from these kinds of games. As a matter of fact, until the governing body instituted a weight-limit rule in 1952, bobsleigh crews were very heavy. It should also be noted that bobsleigh inverse to baseball, as the pusher might actually be playing a sport, at least at the start of the race. This is of course before the gravity takes over, and it’s the pusher’s job to get the sled moving. But for most of the race, all members of the team are playing a game, hence, its’ designation here.

Bossaball – Sport. And a wild one at that. And just look at that photo (you’ll have to hover over “bossaball” to see it)… if any of you know a fat 60 year old that could even do that without gravely injuring him/herself, I want their name and number. I have an idea for a viral video. Oh, and if you want to know just what the hell bossaball is, check this out.

Boules – Game. Uh, yeah. This one’s obvious, right? From a class of games that includes Bocce, Lawn Bowling, Petanque, Boule Lyonaisse, Klootschieten and Varpa… games seemingly specifically created for the elderly (but fun nonetheless).

Bowling – Game. Again, no questions here, right? If so, just head to your local bowling alley. You’ll see plenty of fat, drunk 60 year olds bowling in the 200’s regularly. Not a sport.

Boxing – Sport. This one’s a bit thorny. George Foreman, at this very moment, is a fat 60 year old (ironic for a man synonymous with the Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine, but I digress). Could he really not fare at least moderately well in the ring today? Probably so… but this one comes with a caveat. The only way this could work is in the heavyweight division, where lumbering, plodding heavy punchers will always have a place. You can be all of those things as a fat 60 year old. In no other weight class would this be plausible. So on the whole, boxing’s a sport, whether the heavyweight division is a game or not.

Competitive Dance – Sport. So us macho types, like, for instance, myself, don’t like to admit that dance is a sport. But step back and take a look at it… extreme athleticism? Check. Very competitive? Check. Exclusion of fat 60 year olds? That’s a big fat check. And those of you who have been to a competitive dance… uh… competition?… and seen the merciless backstabbing and cutthroat sabotage that regularly unfolds know damn well that this is no game.

Cricket – Sport. The art of bowling sets cricket apart from baseball. As opposed to the standstill throw a pitcher delivers, the bowler’s is a violent, full-body action with an extended run-up that would certainly throw out the backs of most fat 60 year olds. Even the act of batting is more involved, as batsmen have been known to switch sides of the wicket while the bowler is in his run-up (this would be akin to a right-handed batter jumping over home plate to bat left-handed during a pitcher’s windup). No easy feat, and no place for a fat 60 year old to tread.

Curling – Game. There’s nothing about this game that a fat 60 year old couldn’t handle. They might be the best in the world at it, for all I know.

Cycling – Sport. A fat 60 year old in spandex? We don’t think so.

Darts – Game. One of the few games where being a fat 60 year old is an advantage.

Decathlon/Heptathlon/Pentathlon – Sport. This would, of course, be the end of our fat 60 year old. We had some good times, fat 60 year old. We’ll always remember you.

Disc Golf – Game. Another addendum; if stoners, hippies and other movement-reluctant bums fancy it, it’s a game.

Discus Throw – Game. The actual throwing of the discus any fat 60 year old could handle, and while some of them might be hilariously awful, some could reach the “moderately well” threshold… that’s the rub. It’s the leadup to the toss that gets a bit dicey. Most athletic 25 years olds will end up on their ass following it… and a fat 60 year old? He’ll get vertigo… unless… he/she was already an experienced discus thrower. A former champion, let’s say. Could he/she still fare moderately well? Of course.

Diving – Game. Here’s the thing… at the elite level, yes, diving is heavily populated by 15 year old, 58 pound Asians. But tack on 45 years and 200 pounds to those same Asians… and splashy, cannonball-esque entry aside, could they not at least fare reasonably well in a diving competition? I think so, yes.

Downhill Skiing – Sport. OK, let me explain. Yes, gravity plays a major role here, in fact, it’s the agent propelling the skier down the hill. But what sets downhill skiing apart from say the bobsleigh or the luge is that the skiier must use his/her athleticism against gravity, to turn, sometimes sharply. Without the ability to do so, the ability to fare, oh, I don’t know, let’s say moderately well, goes down the tubes. Our fat 60 year old would be carried faster than most down the hill, thanks to the “fat” part, would his/her 60 year old muscles be able to turn him/her appropriately? We have our doubts.

Equestrian – Game. Again, who’s the athlete here? Is it the person riding the horse, or the horse doing all the work? The horses are certainly competing in a sport… the person sitting on the horse? Not so much. Though we will admit that we certainly feel for the horse that has a fat 60 year old on its’ back.

Fencing – Game. We’ll admit, fencing takes incredible instincts and quickness, and the reflexes of a… uh…. well, something that has really fast reflexes. So we’re under no illusion that a fat 60 year old could be a champion. But let’s say renowned champion Sergei Golubitsky hits 60 and has let himself go a little (or a lot, whatever picture you throw into that head of yours). Were he to enter a competition, could he not fare at least moderately well? It says here he could.

Figure Skating – Sport. Unless points were awarded for sliding along the ice on your ass or stomach, our fat 60 year old would stand no chance here. None at all. Though, this does give me an idea. Who wouldn’t pay money to watch fat 60 year olds attempt some of these advanced moves. It’d be a train wreck, and train wrecks make good televsion… hmmmmm…. We’d have to come up with some appropriate clothing, but yeah, I think I could make it work.

Fishing/Angling – Game. Go watch your local fishing tournament this weekend. Take note of the number of people that aren’t fat 60 year olds. Now, nod in agreement with me.

Gaelic Football – Sport. A fat 60 year old would spend the entire game getting embarrassed, thus causing him, if he’s Irish (as we would expect, if he’s playing Gaelic Football), to pick a fight with every player on the pitch, followed by that particularly intoxicating brand of Irish violence… utter chaos, generally speaking… which would subsequently lead to everyone getting drunk together and singing songs. Stereotypical? You betcha… but I’ve lived it. And stereotypes exist for a reason, right?

Golf – Game. First, it’s a favorite of fat 60 year olds. Second, you could easily see one heating up and shooting a 70 on the same day Tiger Woods shoots a 72. An activity where you could play better than the world’s best? That’s a game, my friends. Let’s put that same fat guy up against Lebron James in a game of one-on-one. Does he ever win? Of course not. If we tied one of James’ arms behind his back, does the fat 60 year old ever win? Of course not. I believe I’ve eagled this one.

Gymnastics – Sport. OK, picture the fat 60 year old, and let’s go with a male. Now… and this won’t be easy… picture him in a unitard. Get past it, you can do it. OK, good. Now, picture him going through a routine on the pommel horse. How many times did he crush his nuts? 30? 40? No, this is no place for a fat 60 year old.

Hammer Throw – Game. Like the discus throw, the problem lies in the lead up to the throw. And like the discus throw, most people would end up on all fours attempting such a thing, with probably a vertigo supplementation for our fat 60 year old. But, like the discus, an experienced discus thrower who just happens to be fat and 60 could fare moderately well… thus… it’s a game.

Handball – Sport. Like many sports, a fat 60 year old could play handball, and like all of them, against decent competition, he’d get embarrassed to the point of taking up shuffleboard.

Hockey – Sport. Whether it be the ice or the field variety, the end results are the same. Our fat 60 year old hospitalized, probably with a feeding tube and catheter. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Horse Racing – Game. A great sport for horses, a decent game for humans. Again, how is this a sport for jockeys? Actually, let’s put it this way, if the real athlete in the sport (the horse) would be better off without human involvement (you know, faster without something on its’ back), then it’s no sport for humans. There. And yes, we’d need a very special, strong horse for our fat 60 year old, but there’s one out there that could lead it to a moderately decent finish.

Hurling – Sport. And one I’m not sure should be legal. Picture, Americans, a combination of baseball, soccer and handball. That’s right, they run around with what amounts to baseball bats in their hands, freely swinging them on the field of battle, with others all around them. Hence the helmets. I don’t think we should allow our fat 60 year old to even try this one. Let’s move on.

Hydroplane Racing – Game. Another sport where the humans are just controlling the athletes… in this case, crazy-fast boats. And another one a fat 60 year old would fancy his chances in. He might even prevent things like this from happening, what with the extra weight and all.

Jai Alai – Sport. I don’t think “the fastest sport in the world” is any place for a fat 60 year old. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but I’m gonna go ahead and give this one the sport nod, and move on, thus saving the life of our fat 60 year old, in all probability. Ed Honcho, hero.

Javelin Throw – Game. As with most throwing sports, where your average fat 60 year old wouldn’t be able to compete, one with experience should be able to at least fare moderately well. Hence the designation as a game. They are the Olympic Games, after all, right?

Jumping – Sport. This includes the High Jump, Long/Broad Jump and Triple Jump, not to mention certain obstacles for fat 60 year olds… namely, the whole jumping part.

Luge – Game. This falls under our aforementioned gravity rule (see: bobsleigh). Our 60 year old’s girth would do nothing but help him/her. Sure, he/she might end up in the hospital, but that’s true of thin 26 year olds as well.

Martial Arts – Sport. Unlike boxing’s heavyweight division, there are very few plodding, heavy hitters when it comes to any discipline of the martial arts. My recommendation to our fat 60 year old? Start tapping out as soon as the competition begins. I’m tired of these hospital bills. It’s starting to add up.

Motorcycle Racing – Game. Again, and maybe I should just put this on repeat. The humans here aren’t the real athletes. The motorcycles are. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The humans… simply enjoying their game. And sure, your average 60 year old would struggle… but a former motorcyle jockey who spent 10 years gorging on Tastykakes? He could fare, you guessed it, moderately well.

Netball/Korfball – Sport. Very similar to basketball, though not quite as arduous physically as one’s movement is restricted. Thus, at amateurish levels, a fat 60 year old could hold his/her own. But once we start to creep into the levels of “moderately decent”, the fat 60 year old falls short.

Orienteering/Rogaining – Game. Navigation-based competitions will always fall into the category of games, for obvious reasons, the most clear being that many fat 60 year olds already participate, and can certainly fare at least moderately well. The “fat” part undoubtedly doesn’t help, as these competitions are all on foot, but this deficiency can be made up for in other areas.

Pole Vault – Sport. The mere idea of a fat 60 year old attempting the pole vault has me sitting in my chair laughing my ass off (or SIMCLMAO, from here forward). This is no game.

Polo – Game. This is a combo event between the horse and the human, with the horse playing a sport and the human playing a hand-eye-coordination-based game. Our fat 60 year old could play this game, with a big enough horse, and play it quite well.

Racewalking – Game. This one just feels like a game, doesn’t it? It’s got that game funk all over it. And I’m not coming at this from a “what’s shoved up those guys asses?” point of view either. Nope. I know they’re great at what they do, and it takes talent. It’s just, what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re walking? And what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re a former racewalking champ who’s put on a few and 60 years old? Are they that far apart? That’s the thing. The slower racewalking speeds allow for the discrepancies in time to remain close, as opposed to running, where the difference increases exponentially. Thus, our fat 60 year old can log his/her moderately well and move on with his/her life.

Rock Climbing/Bouldering – Sport. Yeah, our guy would be dead. Fat and rock climbing/bouldering go together like…. uh, fat and… modeling. I don’t know. Two things that don’t go together very well. Cut me some slack, I’ve run out of coffee.

Rowing – Game. This one’s not so easy. Could a fat 60 year old row well. Yes, and with great power. Would his/her girth keep him/her from our “moderately well” standard? We say no, not if he/she were an experienced rower. This one definitely toes the border between sport and game, though. But hey, the rules are the rules… hard and fast. Just like me. Except for fast. Sometimes… depends what we’re talking about. Let’s just move on.

Rugby – Sport. Sure, Rugby (both League and Union) has its’ fat guys, but they’re not really fat guys, they’re just sports fat guys. You know, the kind of guy that drinks all night and doesn’t pay any attention to what he puts in his body… fish & chips, meat pies, etc… But they’re not really fat, not by society’s standards, at least. They’re just sports fat. Our 60 year old is society fat, plus, you know, he’s 60. He might hold his own in a scrum, but otherwise, it’s back to the hospital with him.

Running – Sport. Including sprints, marathons, hurdles, etc… And we’re moving on.

Sailing – Game. Now, we certainly don’t want to downplay what they do, but could a fat 60 year old be part of a winning team? You betcha. Could he win an individual competition? Unlikely, but could we expect him to do reasonably well? Were he a former champion, yes, we could. And I’m sticking with it, no matter how many hateful emails I get.

Shooting – Game. Encompassing sporting clays, skeet and trap shooting, our fat 60 year old is already moving into the semifinals.

Shot Put – Game. Our fat 60 year old is excited to try this one out. No running, no jumping, just sheer strength. And it says here they’ll fare at least moderately well.

Shuffleboard – Game. Funny story, our fat 60 year old is actually the reigning world shuffleboard champion. True story.

Skateboarding – Sport. We’re eagerly anticipating our fat 60 year old’s turn on the half-pipe. We’re guessing the judges don’t throw the term “moderately well” around. Maybe something more along the lines of “OH MY GOD! CALL 9-1-1!!!”

Ski Jump – Game. The ski jump, as opposed to downhill skiing, requires very little active resistance to gravity. Gravity hurls it’s participants down the ramp, a small, quick, powerful burst of the legs when the ramp turns up, then it’s all about holding your form. Our fat 60 year old, a former ski jumper, could handle this sort of thing, and his performance would be deemed “moderately well,” grammar be damned.

Snowboarding – Sport. And this includes virtually every form of snowboarding sport there is, whether it be boardercross, halfpipe, big air, slopestyle or simply racing. Now, some of them do start to creep into game territory… for instance, our fat 60 year old could get good air, and maybe perform enough tricks to fare moderately well… but we doubt it. And the rest of the events would leave him/her at the ski lodge in a full body cast… so yeah, we’re going sport.

Speed Skating – Sport. It’s a matter of sheer physics, really. As our fat 60 year old made a turn, provided he/she had any sort of speed built up, the centrifugal force would carry him/her into the boards, everytime… partly because their mass would be difficult to stop/turn, and also because their older legs wouldn’t be able to do it. I like to call it the “law of hilarious crashes where hopefully nobody gets hurt”. I am having some trouble getting it to stick. Maybe you guys can help me out? Spread the word. Spread the love.

Soccer/Football/Calcio/Futbol – Sport. Sure, lots of fat 60 year olds play soccer, but have you watched them? Let’s just say that their version is a sedentary one, rife with mis-kicks, hand-balls, shin-shots, beer and singing. OK, so it’s not that much different than the EPL… but just enough that our fat 60 year old narrowly fails the test.

Softball – Game. Though really, the way women play it, it’s a sport. But the way the vast majority of people play it, it’s barely a game. More like a mixer, or a party, or something between grilling and horseshoes. Our fat 60 year old is right at home.

Surfing – Sport. First of all, fat, in the surfing world, means shark food. Second, well, let’s go back to physics. The best surfers don’t sit too far down in the water. They skim the surface. Fat means skimming becomes more difficult… means jumps don’t look as good… means tubes aren’t properly navigated… means “moderately well” is out of the picture.

Swimming – Sport. Unless you consider drowning a success, in which case, you need to go talk to someone. Seriously.

Table Tennis – Game. To play at the highest level, with the best of the best, you cannot be fat, or 60. It takes hummingbird-like reflexes that, let’s face it, have left our fat 60 year old over time. But to play the game moderately well? Our fat 60 year old can handle that, especially if he/she has history in the game.

Tennis – Sport. It’s like table tennis, if the table were expanded to 10 times it’s normal size and you got on top of it. This means 10 times more ground to cover for our fat 60 year old. That’s about 9 times too much.

Triathlon – Sport. Maybe if the swim were 25 yards, the bike 1/4 of a mile, and the run 30 steps… maybe, our fat 60 year old could fight his/her way into the “moderately well” category. Anything more and he/she suffers a stroke.

Ultimate Frisbee – Sport. That’s right. Ultimate has moved out of the realm of hippies and stoners and been taken over by real athletes. The amount of athleticism required to catch the many errant throws that occur alone dooms our fat 60 year old (and if you don’t believe me, check out the photo if you hover over “ultimate frisbee”, or this one).

Volleyball – Sport. If we’re talking water volleyball, our 60 year old might stand a chance. But beach, or indoor? Uh, no. Even if he/she were 7′0″ tall, his/her lack of quicks would doom him/her. Plus, that’s not even an insurmountable heighth these days when it comes to volleyball. No, we’re quite sure our fat 60 year old would be humiliated.

Water Polo – Sport. Treading water is an underestimated exercise. It’s exhausting. Trust me. Ed Honcho spent his formative years as a lifeguard (what did you expect?), where part of the certification process was to hold a brick over your head and tread water for 1 minute. Go ahead and try it, we’ll wait… no? Pansies. What you’d find is that it’s not the sort of thing a fat 60 year old should be attempting under any circumstances, brick or no. Though, I will admit, it might come in handy during a lifeguard certification class, as you would most certainly be dragging them off the bottom of the pool, maybe putting them on a backboard, and potentially administering a little mouth-to-mouth. Three birds with one stone. I’m surprised they haven’t thought of this one yet. What I’m not surprised about, is that I have.

Waterskiing – Sport. Have you seen some of the things these people do? Yes? Can you imagine a fat 60 year old doing any of them? Yes, but only poorly, and quickly followed by a horrible wipeout? Me too!

Weightlifting – Game. Plenty of fat people excel at weightlifting… remember, fat people can be very strong, whether they be 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old.

Wrestling – Sport/Game. Truly, in wrestling moreso than any other sport, it depends on the discipline. Freestyle or Collegiate wrestling is a sport. Fat 60 year olds would get twisted into pretzels. Greco-Roman wrestling is a game, since it relies almost solely on upper body strength, which a fat 60 year old might have in spades… or, at least enough to fare moderately well. Submission wrestling is a sport, as a fat 60 year old wouldn’t have the speed to contain someone at the top of their game… not to mention someone at an average level of their game. Arm wrestling is a game, which should be patently obvious to anyone but the dullest of minds. Sumo wrestling is a sport, as, though our 60 year old is fat… that gives him no advantages. Instead, it’s about quickness at that size, something that puts our 60 year old at a decided disadvantage. And, of course, professional wrestling is neither a game or a sport, it’s what we like to call “acting” in the business.

So there you have it… I would normally spend the next few hours waxing poetic about my prophetic… ness. But it does appear as if our fat 60 year old is in need of immediate attention. What do eyes rolled back in the head usually mean? Is that bad? Yeah. OK, I gotta go. Spread the word people. Let’s make this stuff fact. Oh, and if you want to send any particularly hateful emails my way, sure, I can take it. Just send it to icanbesurprisinglysensitive@edhoncho.com. Yo.

Due to our desire to eat a lot of turkey next week we’ve decide to include our weekend recommendations for both this weekend and next.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A list of what’s going on OUTSIDE is now posted – click here !

In the mean time, enjoy this video of bouldering/climbing at McAfee Knob I found.

Matt on Zabba (5.13a)

My name is Matt McCormick and I am a teacher, climber, guide, and trainer from Burlington, VT. My climbing career started at the BRG while growing up in nearby Sudbury, MA. and quickly spread to locations all over the world.

With a degree in Physical Education, I’ve focused my knowledge of exercise physiology on my own training for climbing and have seen some tremendous gains. I offer personalized coaching and training consultations through my site at mattmccormickclimbing.blogspot.com. Check it out! Feel free to email me with any questions or feedback at matty.mccormick@gmail.com.

This is the first in a series of blog entries on my training ideas and concepts. I hope that you can take a bit of each entry and apply it toward your own climbing goals. My goal is to present an overarching concept each week and then give some examples of exercises and workouts to apply that concept in your training.

I will be offering a series of training workshops at the BRG in the near future that will go into greater detail and provide a hands on opportunity to learn more ideas on how to improve your own climbing fitness. These will include a personalized training plan that I will write and email to each participant after the workshop based on their goals, ability, and motivation. Keep your eye out for these workshops!

This first entry provides THE foundation for effective training and is an important starting point for future entries.

Principles of Training

When planning workouts for athletes, exercise physiologists form their plan based around a set of core principles referred to as the Principles of Training. Here they are… When reading these, think about what you do to try and improve your climbing fitness and whether or not it meets these principles. Below each principle I’ve briefly outlined how this applies to climbing-specific training.

Overload: In order to see gains in muscular strength, endurance and any component of

fitness for that matter this principle must be applied. Our bodies are

extremely adaptive will adapt to the demands placed on them. Only if we load muscles to a a point not previously encountered will they gain strength, endurance, and or power.

Do you purposefully keep track of your progress by writing down your workouts or at least keeping mental note and then increasing the intensity in following workouts? Do you find ways to specifically overload certain muscle groups, movements, grips,  and fitness components such as power or strength?

Progression: While it is crucial to overload the muscles in order to see the gains we

strive for, it is equally important to follow a logical and planned progression

of resistance. Effective training is not reactive but pre-planned and

thoughtful.

The closest that most climbers come to meeting this principle is that they try harder and harder routes and problems in the gym and outside. This is most often done in a rather haphazard manner rather than being pre-planned. Many climbers do not build a solid foundation of routes at say a V5 level before spending infinite sessions projecting V7. Additionally logically pre-planning your workout and sticking to that plan is at the core of this principle.

Specificity: It is important to realize that fitness for climbing should be viewed as several different components that must be targeted specifically in order to be improved. I’ll go into each of these in greater detail in a later post but the major components are strength, endurance, power, and anaerobic endurance. Exercises must be specifically chosen to target the components which you want to improve.

Do you plan your workouts with specific exercises to target specific things such as crimp strength, power, anaerobic endurance? In order to practice this principle you must have a pre-set goal for each session and pick specific exercises to target that goal.

Individuality: Each individual has unique and ever-changing needs and goals in their

training. It is crucial to honestly assess your needs fitness wise and set goals in

line with those needs. It is also key to keep in mind that some exercises that may

work great for one person will not work well for you. This is something I always

keep in mind when coaching and training.

Be flexible to try a variety of methods of training as long as they meet the above principles. Honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses and target those weaknesses. If a certain method of training does not work well for you, be willing to try something else!

Lastly… Keep these three in mind to pull together your overall plan.

Frequency: How often do you come into the gym or hit the crag? How many days a week do you have available to train?

Intensity: In weight lifting intensity is judged by the weight. In climbing it is vastly more complex (more on this in the future…) Intensity can be judged by difficulty of moves, # of moves, rest time between burns, number of problems/routes climbed, and a variety of other ways which I’ll discuss in the future.

Time: How much time will you spend during each session training. Some people spend several hours in the gym accomplishing the same amount that could be accomplished in  one hour. Are you making the best use of time?

These principles are the foundation of any effective training plan. I encourage you to take the time to reflect on them and whether or not you’re applying them to your own goals!

Next I’ll be talking about aerobic strength vs. anaerobic strength and will share the training I’ve been doing for an upcoming trip to the Red River Gorge…

Multumesc Ciprica pentru ca mi-ai amintit si de sala BLOCKER din IASI despre care am uitat sa scriu si care s-a deschis pe 3 Octombrie.

La deschidere:
“Au fost prezenti foarte multi tineri dornici de o catarare, chiar daca multi dintre ei nu o mai facusera pana acum, lucru care ne-a bucurat foarte mult, acesta fiind si unul dintre obiectivele noastre, de a promova alpinismul ca sport in randul tineretului din Iasi si nu numai. Au fost prezenti peste 300 de oameni de toate varstele, de la copii pana la bunici, din diferite orase din tara (Iasi, Bucuresti, Piatra Neamt, Brasov, Galati, s.a), de la cei mai buni cataratori ai momentului, pana la respectatii pionieri ai catararii iesene.

A fost un prilej bun pentru o intalnire a generatiilor de cataratori ieseni, un eveniment care a adus oamenii impreuna pentru a sarbatori un moment important pentru alpinismul iesean. Toata lumea s-a catarat si s-a bucurat de piscoturile facute acasa, s-a stat la refugiu, iar pe la ora 22:00, cand toti copiii erau acasa, probabil in paturile lor odihnindu-se dupa zbenguiala de la sala, a inceput si after party-ul, unii apucandu-se de distractie sau dansuri, altii neputand sa se opreasca din catarat.

La final, toata lumea s-a simtit bine, iar noi suntem mai mult decat fericiti ca unul dintre visele noastre a devenit realitate, si ca de acum Iasiul se bucura de o sala de catarat de nivel europen.”

Blocker

Contact & Locatie

BLOCKER – Sala de Catarat din Iasi
Str. Socola, Nr. 16 (La fostul Tamaz)
(In Bularga, in statia Frigorifer, pe partea dreapta exact inainte de podul spre Bucium, Siraj)
Email: salut@blocker.ro
Tel: 0766.105.272 ; 0754.481.538
Pentru Harta click AICI

What a great trip to the states climbing in the Black Canyon of Gunnison (which was great), Rifle (which was polished but not half bad!), Eldorado Canyon (pretty damn good too) and Boulder Canyon (also – pretty good!).

So now it’s back to the Welsh winter, although since getting back I have been away to ‘Europe’ (aren’t we in Europe?) twice, so it’s not all doom and gloom.

Projects on the go right now are the V10 problem Broken Heart (see the nice video from Paul Higginson  below) in The Cave of Justice, which will hopefully then morph in to Pete’s link up The Wire, which at V12 seems to be the easiest way to climb right from the back of the cave out and around the lip. Bring it on. It is also perhaps the softest V12 in there, so I might have a chance.

With the winter bouldering strength I have a couple of short route projects that I might get done depending on the weather, and depending on how psyched I get for Scottish winter and the Alps.

I have been putting the finishing touches to a destination article to the Black Canyon for UKC and also a Micro guide to the Scenic Cruise for Rockfax, both should be available soon and I’ll post a link on here.

VIDEO: Broken Heart (I don’t do it like this, it looks nails this way!)

I’m kind of playing with this idea:

How to get in a bouldering session at work.

Idea #1:

The Bathroom Stall Traverse.

Go in and lock the stall door as if you need to do your business.  Then take off your shoes (better for smearing).  Grab the top of the stall on either the left or the right-hand side and walk your feet up onto the wall.  Traverse either clockwise or counter-clockwise for three laps.  Then go the other direction.

Rest inbetween sets.

The crux would be the transition over the toilet.  A slip would be bad there (disastrous if the toilet has already been clogged by a coworker), and you have to release one hand to cross over.  But that move has gotta be good for your lats and deltoids – key to a good, hard sesh.

Drawbacks:

1.  You’ll be “that guy who does something weird in the bathroom”.

2.  The sounds you make in there can’t be good for your work image either.  But straining to transition over the toilet might sound like straining to do something else, so…

On the plus side:

1.  A jug-holds endurance burn.

2.  Iron-crosses over the toilet.

3.  Smearing practice on bad feet.

4.  Straining without defecating.

5.  Most importantly, you get a work time sesh.  If you say, “I have to go to the bathroom,” no boss is going to stop you.

So boom!  More climbing time.  Add the minutes to your weekly total.

Da das Wochenende wie schon letztes, relativ schlechtes Kletterwetter bietet, hatten wir heute einen entspannten Tag zu Hause. Ich hab die Zeit genutzt mit Jakob einen längeren Ausflug mit seinem Fahrrad zu machen, dass er zum Geburtstag bekommen hat. Nachdem er endlich sein Dauergejammer eingestellt hatte, fuhr er ziemlich routiniert mit dem Fahrrad alleine durch die Gegend.

Kleinere Steigungen waren auch OK, nur sobald es länger oder zu steil bergauf ging, musste ich mitschieben. Auch bergab war es ihm nicht immer ganz geheuer, wenn auch das mit dem Bremsen schon erstaunlich gut klappt (allerdings endet es meist in einer Vollbremsung). Am nachmittag kam dann das Holz, das wir für unseren Ofen bestellt hatten. Dank regelmäßigem Arbeitseinsatz in meiner Jugend war das mit dem Anschlichten kein Problem und die zwei Ster waren in einer guten Stunde verstaut. Siet übrigens viel schöner aus im Ofen, wenn man Holz statt Brikets verwendet. Jakob hat fleißig mitgeholfen:

Die Wettervorhersage für morgen ist nicht gerade berauschend, aber auch nicht extrem schlecht. Vielleicht ergibts sich ja doch noch ein netter Klettertag dieses Wochenende. Leider tun mir seit Donnerstag einige (ja, richtig gelesen) Finger weh. Hoffentich entwickelt sich da keine größere Verletzung, das wäre garnicht gut.

A couple of weeks ago my motivation was completely gone. I still don’t know why,  perhaps due to an influenza immunisation I had received.

Anyway, I’m back on it and training again. The weekend was rainy, but on Sunday we managed to get some time on the rock, even though most things were wet. We went to a recently developed area and checked out a few easier but brand-new problems.

We also learnt that our project,  which is named “Auf den letzten Druecker” stays dry in rain (at least most of it). I start to make real progress on it. I trained hard on Friday, but nevertheless did well on it on Sunday, even though feeling knackered. I will see what the weather is doing and if conditions are  ok on the weekend, I will skip training this week and try to get on it recovered on Saturday.

AHOY BRG’ers.

So instead of just sitting on my bum, boohooing my misfortune (see: A Painful Learning Curve) over the past three weeks, I have taken this time to start realizing a long time dream of mine: putting together a list of the BEST BOULDER PROBLEMS IN AMERICA. This is a huge undertaking and I need as much help as possible.

www.climbingczar.blogspot.com

I’ve created a list of polls, V0 to V14 listing every boulder problem that in my eyes warrants either 4 or 5 stars. Readers can vote on my selections or add their own through comments and such. Please help spread the word, kind people, and this will be an invaluable tool to climbers for years to come!

-MZ-

Sorry to be so slow on updating the site. Fall has been interesting so far, Perfect weather has taken over Texas and being broken has taken over me.  Needless to say my motivation is somewhat lacking since I seem to be missing the best weather in Texas in years. So I decided to make due, harness my poor pitiful me attitude and search for some moto and in my search I came across this video of Lynn Hill in Hueco (produced by Patagonia). If you’ve never been to Hueco this will make you want to go, If you have been it’ll make you want to go back, and if your broken it will make you want to say screw the Dr’s advise and climb anyway. Enjoy!

Chris brings us one of the best moderate boulders in the gym. Nice mantel move on to a slab with some more muscle-y opening moves. Come try it for yourself!

You mean you didn’t catch the Canadian Bouldering Championship Women’s Final on the drtopo youtube channel? Drag for you. Here are the highlights from the three-part ouvre, and believe you-us, it was a wild event. And isn’t that always the case when shit goes down in Montreal?

First of all, there was this problem that we didn’t watch long enough to see anyone send. It had a huge blue scrotum on it. The ponytailed competitors try to tame the bloated, scrotal beast, but alas, yeah, the big blue ball was cruel joke several times over.

Scrotal = the greatest adjective of the day.

Around minute 4:03, Sasha Digimonion goes up, and the Canadian hosts snark that she’s “from the states.” We have no idea if that’s true and could care less. Still, funny that they say it.

Even moreso because in part three, when Digimon goes up again, the female announcer remarks that she “seems to lose a piece of clothing” with each round.

US indoor bouldering girls simply cannot be stopped from taking all their gd clothes off every time they see a fuckin heap of colorful plastic and a camera. Although to put it that way,  we are in no position to judge.

And that’s how shit went down at the Canadian Bouldering Championships. You’re welcome. Scrotal.

ps – a bunch of signs went up overnight in the hood next to the hueco, and they say “Climbing Gear” and lead to a trailer and a truck – like a big shipping truck. We suspect that shopping is involved, and promise to investigate further once the truck is gone, and if the trailer isn’t too creepy.

Topping out on a problem is hard work, so we made sure to have fun at the top.

Annie’s Icebreaker Ad

Ben’s Icebreaker Ad

Prepping for his swan dive

Andy’s Patagonia Ad

I’ve heard it said that the only real climbing is alpine climbing in alpine style.  Or maybe leave no trace trad climbing.

And in response, the late Michael Reardon once said, “The only real climbing is barefoot, naked, chalkless, on-sight free-soloing.”

So Kyle A Million and I tried half of the “Reardon Only-Real-Climbing” equation today.

We tried to send “The Ledges” problem at The Columns under a beautiful, crisp, sunny, fall sky.

“The Ledges” is 5.12c, technical but with huge jugs.  20-feet tall.  It has three awkward mantles that are fun and challenging.  And we thought we’d up the ante by doing it barefoot and chalkless.  Almost in “real” style.

We figured it might take a few tries, but that’s what climbing is all about: challenging ourselves while having fun with good people.

Only we sucked.  We were terrible.  In bare feet, and chalkless, we got nowhere.  And I’m not exaggerating.  We didn’t almost make it or nearly make it.  No, we got shut down early.  Could go no further.  Floundered and flopped for a dozen goes, then lowered down in pathetic shame.

Kyle kept saying, “I think it’s doable.  I really think it is.  It’s a great problem.”

Only we couldn’t get the first of the three cruxes.  Not even that one first one.

So I’ve concluded that if the only real climbing is barefoot, naked, chalkless, on-sight free-soloing, then I’m not good at real climbing.  I’m not sort of good.  I’m not even mediocre.  In fact, I’m horrible.  I’m a terrible, terrible real climber.

But I’m ok with that.

Last weekend, I drove down with my housemates to meet our friends living in Truckee, CA for a weekend climbing adventure in Bishop, CA. A trip with good friends always makes things amazing.

Everyone on the boulder

Annie on the classic v6 Hulk (4 out of 3 stars. Yeah, 4.)

Andy’s sick toe hook on the classic v4 Iron Man

Annie on the classic v4 Iron Man

Andy on Buttermilk Stem

These problems were unnamed, so we titled them “14 hour drive” and “Crappy Feet”

Tara going for a big reach

I had a really good weekend. Two days of bouldering with the kids in a beatiful Indian Summer. It’s always nice if you can have both, spend time with your children and do some good bouldering with your mates.

On Saturday we went to the project. Last time I’ve been there I managed all the moves and links except for one. This time, the missing link could be found and I finally got a sequence I can climb. The Physicist, doing well on the moves, started a proper go and managed to link the hardest bit but felt off a couple of moves before the topout. Motivated by his performance I started a go as well and, surprisingly, manged to properly get into the topout, but couldn’t hold on to the small crimps (the last couple of moves are about 7a only, but hard when you did the first bit, see those pictures for the first moves).

Meanwhile, Jakob and Felix were playing more or less happily in the forest, even walked around with Flo’s dog for a bit

After some bad attempts I got another good go leading me through the hard bits again. I couldn’t move on to try the topout, but the fact that I’m able to connect the moves and even get into the topout is real progress.  This success also gives me motivation to get back into training, even though I’m still not that keen I’ve been two weeks ago. We moved on to some rarely discovered boulders in order to help the author of the upcoming new guidebook checking some grades. I think I did a couple of 7a’s there, but forgot the names (not sure they even have any …). They were good, though and also a good choice for next time when looking for warm-ups near the project.

On Sunday my tips and the rest of my body felt bad, but as Lisl was going to repaint some walls at our house I had to take the kids out. The decision wasn’t that hard, I went climbing. It was really foggy outside, but when we arrived at the spot (called Haardt), we had perfect weather. Felix (not my sun, but a good climber and friend of mine) joined me and we did some of the easier problems to warm-up. We moved on to an area called “Energiezentrum” where  you have some roofie and good-looking problems, most of them are defined, though. I flashed ‘Power of the jilted generation’, a really really nice 7a through the roof. We then moved on to a 7c trav. problem called Chakra, which is defined, but with really good moves.

It took me about an hour to get the moves sorted and in my third go I could climb it. To finish the day we went to the hardest 7b I know (and can’t climb …), “Gottes Lohn”. As expected, we couldn’t do it and as Felix started to get annoying (he’s not always that cute)

I went home knowing that the depressive days are over and I’m back on it!

This week Chris brings us one of the freshest problems in the gym, just set this past week. Some of the holds on this route are from a local company and were shaped by BRG’s own Gavin Heverly and Maxim Zolotukhin. Indeed we have our hands in all the pots! Enjoy the video, and come try the problem for yourself!

(Okay, I need to get in the habit of editing this more often…)

So, I’ve decided to make sure I exercise at least every other day. Apparently, you should leave a day in between when you start training to allow your body to recover.

With that in mind, I went bouldering on Friday…

Friday 30/10/09

• Exercise: Bouldering
• Duration: 65 min (Bottom two grades of routes… it’s been sooooo long since I’ve been climbing)

My arms still ache from that bouldering, and it’s Sunday now! – I guess I didn’t stretch enough (plus am incredibly unfit at the momnent).

Anyway off for a run now. Will report back later…

It’s amazing what we’ll put ourselves through to send a climb:

(At least those of us who are obsessive)

Repeated efforts and failures.  Sweat.  Pump.  Abrasions.  Tweaked shoulders and tweaked backs.  Numb fingers, wrists, and toes.  Bad elbows.  Lost sleep.  Lack of focus.  An easily wandering mind.

To say nothing of the small nicks and dings we endure.

For example, these are a few of the gifts from my Saturday night session on “The Pain Crack Project”, Boyd Cave, Oregon.

Finger fun.

More finger fun.

And

This two-inch, pussy, knee-bar bruise.