A shot of holiday brandy is healthy?

Add a shot of holiday brandy to the list of supposedly sinful consumables that give a healthy kick –- in moderation, of course. As studies on red wine, dark chocolate and coffee have previously shown, recent research on brandy found that a shot glass full of the distilled fermented fruit juice contains as much antioxidant potential as the daily recommended intake of vitamin C. The antioxidants, which are chemical compounds that help protect body cells form free radicals, come mainly from copper during the distilling process, according to researchers at Monash University in Australia. Team leader Gordon Troup, a physicist, is shown here holding a glass of the amber liquid.

Earlier today I stumbled across a place called the River House, and was fucking tickled to find they served Chatham Artillery Punch, which is exceptionally ass kicking, since it was created in Savannah, GA probably around 200 years ago, as the house punch of the Chatham County Artillery of Savannah, Georgia, formed May 1st, 1786.

“When you visit the town of Savannah
Enlist ‘neath the temperance banneh,
For if you should lunch,
On artillery punch,
It will treat you in sorrowful manneh.”
- Old Klingon Proverb.

Chatham Artillery Punch
1 ½ gal. Catawba Wine
½ gal. Rum (probably Jamaican)
1 qt. Gin
1 qt. Brandy
½ pt. Benedictine
2 qt. Maraschino Cherries
1 ½ qt. Rye Whiskey
1 ½ gal. Strong Tea (probably black)
2 ½ lbs. brown sugar
1 ½ qts. Orange juice
1 ½ qts. Lemon Juice
Mix from thrity-six to forty-eight hours before serving. Add one case of champagne when ready to serve.

The owner says this will make 5 gallons, and trying to reduce this amount ends is disaster. They, however, make their batches 20 gallons at a clip. Well played, sir.

The CA Punch is a like an American version of Sangria – but the good stuff – not the stuff that tastes like rotting fruit. It’s definitely one of the more substantial and boozy punches I’ve had, and the topping of Champagne makes it a bit lighter and fizzier. Umm, apparently four was too many.

“I Don’t Really Care”
Brandy

Missed a day? Check my previous picks for Top Songs of 2009:
Day 1 - Day 2 – Day 3 – Day 4 – Day 5 – Day 6 – Day 7 – Day 8

Thursday, December 24, 2009
Waxing Moon
Mars Retrograde
Christmas Eve
Sunny and cold

For the curious, yes, I can celebrate both the Solstice and Christmas if I want, and it doesn’t mean I’m being hypocritical to either. The former is my chosen path in my adult life. The latter is a nod towards happy family traditions and memories, since I am one of those freakish individuals who experienced a decent amount of happiness while growing up. And I will celebrate as many traditions as I wish! So there!

There’s a giftie waiting for you under the virtual tree, but you’ll have to wait until the end of the post to retrieve it.

Wow! Natalie Bahm gave me a Kreativ Blogger Award. I am so honored! Thank you so much! Part of this honor is to thank her, and I do.

Part of this honor is to pay it forward to 7 other bloggers and to write post 7 things others might not know about me.

Okay, choosing only 7 is hard, I read more than that on any given day, but here’s an attempt:

Lori Widmer — Words on the Page — she’s an amazing writer and human being, a dear friend, and one of the most spiritually aware and emotionally grounded people I know. She gives back constantly.

Diane Parkin — another amazing writer and good friend. She gets more done in an hour than I can get done in a week.

Michelle Miles — Ye Olde Inkwell — terrific balance of blogging between writing and life.

Lara Stauffer – Ramblings of a Suburban Soccer Mom. A daily must-read from a good friend whose life is very different from my own!

Colin Galbraith — Freedom From the Mundane — another good friend and fellow writer, whose blog is a daily must-read.

Brandy – Book Mom — because she loves books and cats.

Margaret Finnegan — Finnegan Begin Again. I just found this blog the other day, and it is amazing.

Okay, now for 7 things:

1. I developed a deadly allergy to shrimp. I used to love shrimp and now I’m horribly, horribly allergic. As in vomiting-for-18-hours-straight-and-going-to-the-hospital allergic.

2. I don’t trust people who don’t like animals, and I trust them even less if the animals don’t like them back. In my experience, the animals are usually right!

3. Three things on my Must-Learn Someday List are: Learning to play the piano; taking a pottery class; learning to paint.

4. Even though I spent over 20 years in theatre, the period where I wanted to be an actor was very short-lived. I don’t like that much attention focused on me. Although many actors look at playing characters as getting to be someone totally different, for me it was always about bringing forward different aspects of my personality, and I like to choose for whom I do that.

5. I loathe tabloids and gossip magazines. Having worked with lots of actors over the years and feeling protective of the ones I like and admire, I am enraged to see such lies printed — and 90% of what goes in those rag sheets are lies. They are lies that hurt people, and for the general public to think it’s “fun” to feed into those lies by purchasing the magazines, reading, and even believing the crap makes me sick. Not only that, they are poorly written. If house guests leave one of the mags behind, I literally remove it from the premises with tongs and scrub the place down.

6. I get twitchy if I walk into someone’s house and there aren’t any books around. I try to get out of there as quickly as possible.

7. I am better at crochet than I am at knitting. I’d love to be a better knitter, but I’m awkward and clumsy at it. For some reason, I find crochet easier and more logical.

On to other things. I realized that I don’t have enough dishes for left overs (I’m taking left overs with me to the site), so I have to dash out today and get some more.

Yesterday was fine. I wrote. All day. Over 6K. Until nearly midnight. Edited, polished, et al, this morning.

So, here’s your giftie:

JUST JUMP IN AND FLY: a holiday tale by Ava Dunne.

When two men have an accident with eight no-so-tiny reindeer on her front lawn, Susanna Wright has to balance thinking they’re delusional with keeping in the spirit of the night and getting them back on the road.

The story pulls from a mix of myths and traditions, sprinkled with a few of my own “what ifs”. Although it’s just over 10K, it’s a fast read, and, I hope, a funny one.

To read an excerpt, visit the Ava Dunne page. The download link is also on the site. It downloads as a PDF.

Enjoy!

Devon

It’s Christmas Eve and I am thinking about this past year and the year ahead. This year has been just awful on a number of fronts. On the plus side I have my health, my relationship and there have been no hurricanes in Florida. But the big issue in my life has been lack of work, the disappointments in business ventures, the inability to get my art work sold and the serious depletion of my life savings. All this makes me think of one person, my dear, departed friend Frank Fava.

Frank was a jolly old soul and he loved Christmas. Every year we’d put on a benefit for underprivileged kids in Harlem and Frank would dress up as Santa. He was Santa for many. Frank had an amazing life and career. He started out as a roadie for Jimi Hendrix. He built Jimi’s studio in Woodstock and when the legend passed on he turned it into Bearsville Studios and churned out hits. He produced a Gold Record for Looking Glass with Brandy (you’re a fine girl, what a good wife she would be…) ran backstage security at Woodstock and all the Woodstock revivals, and somehow became an insurance salesman. 

Frank and I met in the early 90’s and we immediately hit it off. He went through a lot together. I was his confidant and he was my most trusted advisor. We went through girlfriends, bought houses, drank fine wine and laughed a lot. A whole lot.  With Frank handling my finances I made a ton of money. I was never good with money but Frank watched out for me and my portfolio and my cash reserves grew. I wouldn’t say I was a rich man but I was comfortable. I earned that money but Frank made it grow.

When Frank died it was a tremendous shock. Personally I lost one of my best friends. Financially I lost my most trusted mentor. I’ve never really recovered. Frank’s body was discovered at home (he lived in the apartment above me on 53rd Street) he was sitting in his favorite chair watching tube. His heart had given out. He was terribly over weight and had a heart condition. His God-daughter, Abby, had come over to fix him dinner and thought he was asleep. It took a while before she figured something was wrong. I spent the entire night in the apartment with the body and a cop while Abby and Patricia cried down at my place. As I looked at his lifeless figure laid out on the floor and waited for the coroner’s truck to come I felt sorry over the loss of such a great friend. I didn’t realize then that over time the effect of Frank’s passing on my life would be so profound.

I’m still a lousy businessman, I don’t get finance. I’m a right-brained art-boy and numbers make me dizzy. Since Frank’s passing my business tanked, I’ve lost a fortune in stupid investments and I’ve pissed away a couple of million. This never would have happened if Frank were around. He always looked out for his friends.

So this Christmas I am going to think of Frank. I’m not going to dwell on the things that have happened since he left us but try to concentrate on the great things that happened when he was here and I’m going to try as hard as I might to recreate many of those things that Frank showed me. I’m going to make 2010 a banner year and I’m dedicating it to Frank. Tonight when I raise a glass of wine the first toast is to my old bud. Thanks, man for all you did for me. I’ll try to do better.

I have to say I’m cheating a little here with my own rules as I haven’t ever cooked this on my own.  In fact my participation has only ever advanced to weighing ingredients and helping fill cake tins.  Christmas is my mum’s domain.  She’s been doing it for years and she’s on a roll, my interference is not needed!  However, I had to share this cake recipe with you as it really is a last minute cake.  It doesn’t need to mature and if you’re forgotten to buy a cake and you’re totally desperate, well, start now! 

Makes 1×8″ (20cm) cake

125g butter
500g mixed dried fruits
125g dates, stoned and chopped (or apricots or prunes, big fruits are what you’re after.)
175g brown sugar
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
200ml water
1/2 tsp ground mixed spice
1 tsp ground cinnamon

90g glace cherries, chopped
60g chopped mixed nuts
45ml brandy
250g plain flour
pinch of salt
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp baking powder

- In a large pan melt the butter and then add the dried mixed fruits, dates (or other fruits), sugar, bicarbonate of soda, water, mixed spice and cinnamon. 
- Bring this to the boil and cover.  Simmer for 15 minutes. 
- Leave the pan, covered, overnight. 
- The next day put it in a mixing bowl, or use a machine like a kitchen aid or kenwood chef to do the hard work!
- Add the cherries, nuts and brandy.  Mix a little. 
- Add the flour and salt and mix in. 
- Add the eggs and the baking powder and then mix thoroughly making sire everything is well combined. 
- Line an 8″ cake tin with foil, shiny side down, and 2 layers of greaseproof paper. 
- Brush lightly with oil. 
- Tip in the cake mix and level out the top.  Create a small dip in the middle with the back of a spoon to prevent doming. 
- Place a small ovenproof dish or tin of water in the bottom of an oven heated to gas mark 2. 
- Place the cake in the oven on the middle shelf and cook for 2 1/2 – 3 hours covering the top with foil after 1 hour. 
- Test with a skewer to see if it’s done.
- Cool in the tin then turn out and pour on a little more brandy before either wrapping and storing or covering with marzipan and icing.

1. Almost Doesn’t Count [Pull Club Radio Edit] 
2. Almost Doesn’t Count [Club Remix] 
3. Have You Ever [Soul Skank Remix] 

1. Talk About Our Love [Extended Mix] – Brandy, Kanye West 
2. Talk About Our Love [One Rascal Mix] 
3. Talk About Our Love [Bil Hamel Club Mix] 
4. Talk About Our Love [E-Smoove Classic Club Mix] 
5. Talk About Our Love [Ford Trance Mix] 
6. Talk About Our Love [Alan Smithee in Blueblackness Mix] 
7. Talk About Our Love [TKC Club Mix] 
8. Talk About Our Love [Ford House Mix] 
9. Talk About Our Love [Bill Hamel Clubbed Up Dub Mix] 
10. Talk About Our Love [Thick Dick Dub] 

1. Baby 
2. Best Friend 
3. I Wanna Be Down 
4. Brokenhearted 
5. Angel in Disguise 
6. Boy Is Mine 
7. Almost Doesn’t Count 
8. Top of the World 
9. U Don’t Know Me 
10. Have You Ever? 
11. Full Moon 
12. What About Us? 
13. He Is 
14. Afrodisiac 
15. Who Is She 2 U 
16. Rock With You 
17. I Wanna Be Down 
18. Another Day in Paradise 

1. About Brandy (Intro) 
2. Sadiddy 
3. Who Is She 2 U 
4. Talk About Our Love – featuring Kanye West 
5. Cool (Thought I’d Be) 
6. Afrodisiac 
7. Where You Wanna Be 
8. Focus 
9. How I Feel 
10. Say You Will 
11. Come As You Are 
12. Necessary 
13. Should I Go 
14. Turn It Up 

1. Movin’ On 
2. Baby 
3. Best Friend 
4. I Wanna Be Down 
5. I Dedicate, Pt. 1 
6. Brokenhearted 
7. I’m Yours 
8. Sunny Day 
9. As Long as You’re Here 
10. Always on My Mind 
11. I Dedicate, Pt. 2 
12. Love Is on My Side 
13. Give Me You 
14. I Dedicate, Pt. 3 

1. Intro 
2. Angel in Disguise 
3. Boy Is Mine – Brandy, Monica 
4. Learn the Hard Way 
5. Almost Doesn’t Count 
6. Top of the World – Brandy, Mase 
7. U Don’t Know Me (Like U Used To) 
8. Never Say Never 
9. Truthfully 
10. Have You Ever 
11. Put That on Everything 
12. In the Car Interlude 
13. Happy 
14. One Voice 
15. Tomorrow 
16. (Everything I Do) I Do It for You 

1. B Rocka Intro 
2. Full Moon 
3. I Thought 
4. When You Touch Me 
5. Like This 
6. All In Me 
7. Apart 
8. Can We 
9. What About Us? 
10. Anybody 
11. Nothing 
12. It’s Not Worth It 
13. He Is 
14. Come A Little Closer 
15. Love Wouldn’t Count Me Out 
16. WOW 
17. Die Without You 

1. Human Intro 
2. The Definition 
3. Warm It Up (With Love) 
4. Right Here (Departed) 
5. Piano Man 
6. Long Distance Interlude 
7. Long Distance 
8. Camouflage 
9. Torn Down 
10. Human 
11. Shattered Heart 
12. True 
13. A Capella (Something’s Missing) 
14. 1st & Love 
15. Fall 

You’ve heard them singing carols in the office.  You’ve heard them karaoke down the pub. This is the best time of year to decide which of your colleagues merits the last phrase of the offering formula:

maa-kheru; true of voice.

We’ve had kheru, voice, before.  It was in the complex little group of signs which make up the standard phrase for “an invocation offering of bread and beer”:

where “invocation” is literally “that which comes forth by the voice”.  And there’s kheru, right in the middle of the group, like a wooden spoon ready for stirring the pudding (which would make the other signs a chopping board, a bag of flour and a bottle of brandy in seasonal montage straight out of the Lakeland kitchenware catalogue.  Except they’re not.)  But you know it’s an oar, and the other signs are a house, a loaf of bread (naturally) a jug of beer and the invisible owl.

So now we have the oar again, twice in one formula.  They did like sticking their oar in, the ancient Egyptians.  But what’s the first sign,

maa?  A doorstop?  An eraser? Nothing so mundane.  The wedge-shaped sign maa (very easy to draw) represents a platform or pedestal, as here supporting a figure of the god Ptah (from Tutankhamun’s tomb furniture):

(Ok, you could use him as a door wedge, I’ll give you that.  But he would be far from mundane.  There could be a whole interior design industry in this for someone – and that someone will need an office, and that office will need hieroglyphs…. I must stop getting carried away.) 

Back to maa - the pedestal has that distinctive shape because it in turn is a representation of nothing less than the primeval mound; the first bit of land to appear from out of the waters of chaos at the very creation of the world.  The Egyptians were used to seeing mounds of land rise from the water every year, as the floodwaters of the Nile receded after the annual inundation, leaving behind fertile silt which they could cultivate.  (So, we have to assume that Ptah is standing on a little island, with the waters of the primeval ocean lapping almost at his feet, at the bottom of the little slipway on his pedestal.)  The Egyptians assumed that this was how the gods had first created the land on which they lived.  To them, this pristine terra firma meant the world the way the gods had created it, the way the world was meant to be.  Maa meant “true” or “right” or “just” in the sense of  ”the proper order of things”.

Here is an example of the maa kheru group in a  carved relief:

 True of voice:  the “of” is unwritten but understood from the construction.  The maa hieroglyph is easy to draw:  a thin rectangle with one slanting short side.

But if our tomb owner Senusret was “true of voice”, what did that mean?  They didn’t have karaoke in the netherworld, did they?  No.  It was much worse than that.  To get into the Egyptian afterlife, you had to win the divine version of the X Factor.

Anyone who thinks the X Factor is hell on earth will get the idea of the Egyptian afterlife.  If life on earth was Round 1, to go forward to the afterlife or Round 2, you had to impress a panel of judges.  Here’s a scene from the show:

On the left,we have the tomb owner being led onstage by his divine sponsor, the god Anubis.  In the middle, the scene shows an early version of the machine used to record the audience’s verdict.  Back then, in the days before electronic voting buttons, they used a weighing scale.  In the right-hand pan of the scale is a feather, representing truth, order, justice and all those primeval virtues.  In the left is the tomb owner’s heart.

On the right of the scene, in their own special booth, sit the judges:  Osiris, the Simon Cowell of the underworld, sits on his throne, backed by two divas of the day, the goddesses Isis and Nephthys then, and fronted by four lesser judges, his own four sons, who stand on a lotus blossom.

The format of the show is this:  to qualify for the next round of existence, the tomb owner has to declare that he has led a good life on earth.  But just saying so is not enough; he has to prove it.  To test whether or not he is speaking the truth, the gods weigh his heart against the feather.  If his heart is not weighed down by sin and falsehood, it will balance the feather and he will be let through to the next round.  If it is heavier than the feather, it will be thrown to the crocodile-headed she-monster waiting by the weighing scale, (her name is Devourer-of-Hearts, but let’s call her Anne) and the tomb owner will be thrown off the programme – you are the weakest link, goodbye.  That won’t happen, though, because in the finest traditions of audience voting reality TV, Anubis is rigging the result by fixing the scale.  The Ibis-headed god Thoth is standing by like the Lottery adjudicator to verify the outcome.  And sure enough, Anubis is conducting the tomb owner, who has been proven to be speaking the truth, to Simon, sorry, Osiris, who declares him fit to go forward to the final. 

And ever after, our tomb owner is known as “true of voice”, as a sign that he has passed the test and successfully entered the next world.

So there we are:  at the end of the offering formula.  You know it all now:

Hetep di nesu Usir neb Djedu, netjer aa, neb Abju, di ef peret-kheru (em) te henqet, kau apedu, shes menkhet, khet nebet nefret ankhet netjer im, en ka en imakhy Senusret, maa-kheru.

“An offering which the King gives (to) Osiris Lord of Busiris, the great god, Lord of Abydos, that he may give invocation-offerings (consisting of) bread, and beer, meat and fowl, alabaster and clothing, and all good and pure things by which a god lives, to the ka of the Revered One, Senusret, True of Voice.”

How’s that for a Christmas list?

This was an interesting project we undertook for Martell to help launch a new product called &Co. It was intended to be a brandy that could be used as a mixer, which was a little different to say the least. It had a slight hint of hazelnut to it’s flavour, hence the strapline of ‘Profound and slightly nutty’. The film was directed by the very able David Scheinmann, and featured a couple of well known faces including Sasha Baron Cohen (see inset before his Ali G days). This is the ad version of a much longer film that was designed to be played in clubs and venues where the product was being launched.

>see madness tv

>see madness print

I’m not a social drinker. I don’t like the taste of alcohol and I don’t like the way it makes me feel. And since my peers didn’t seem to care much for me when I was young, I never got into the habit of knuckling under to peer pressure.

I do, however, have sherry in my house. I make delicious spiked trifles. I have a bottle of brandy because I intended to make a variety of Southwest cookies, which I never got around to doing.

I love rum balls, for which I need rum. I’ve misplaced the recipe but I think the other ingredients are ground nuts, crumbled up wafer-type cookies, rum, corn syrup, chocolate powder, and powdered sugar. You let the batter stand a while and then roll it into ball shapes, which are dipped in powdered sugar or coconut or whatever you like.

I guess I have to admit these taste just a little like old fashioned Watkins cough syrup.

If I had to pick the one thing that is wrong with Christmas traditions, it would be that too many Christians live in the northern hemisphere. When the sun is blazing down outside and the mercury is hitting thirty, roasted beefs, glazed geese, Yorkshire puddings and all the trimmings feel as alien to having snow on the ground.

Translating that into drinks, warm noggy custards just about seem the most unappetizing thing you could get close to this Christmas. Excited by the challenge, I left the store with fresh free range eggs, a small bottle of full cream milk, a pound of sugar and a whole nutmeg.

I knew that my nog was going to be cold, but little else. Most of the recipes I could find online were for warm productions, so I decided to do it by trail and error. All of the recipes below are for two drink only. Multiply them by ten if you’ve got a tribe coming over.

The first nog of Christmas.

For my first attempt, I put one egg in the blender with 60 grams of caster sugar. Blitz it until it triples in volume, you could whisk it, but I was incapacitated by a powerful hangover. In an ice filled glass, add 80mls of the egg mixture, 80mls of brandy and 80 mls of cream. shake well and pour over ice into a rocks glass. Grate some nutmeg and you’re laughing. The result is tasty, but not quite the textural experience I was after.

If I ever feel better, I’ll have another nog.

As before, add sugar to the egg and blitz. I also decided the put the cream into the blender too, 60mls, as the volume increases as it whips up. I also added 10mls of Jamesons Irish whiskey to the blend too. Be careful not to over blend, you want thickened cream, not whipped up butter. I added this mixture to a tin with 80mls of Brandy and stirred them together and poured them, again over ice, with a grating of nutmeg.

Roll, roll, roll a nog, twist it at the ends.

Trying new things is important at Christmas, so I thought that making a rum nog might be just the ticket. same recipe as above but with no whiskey and Appleton Estate rum. works well with a little cinnamon I found too.

Don’t you nog who I am?

This one I was lucky enough to sample when made by its creator, Jacob Briars, a true bon-vivant’s companion and erstwhile Professor of Vodka for 42Below. It somewhat unsurprisingly contains vodka. I used a full cream milk, because I don’t remember it being quite as creamy as my previous attempts.

One egg, 50 grams sugar, 100mls 42Below passion fruit vodka, 30mls Chocolate liqueur, 50mls full cream milk. combine well and serve.

Feel free to offer your own recipe or corrections in the comments. I am but a nogice.

கிறிஸ்து பிறந்த நாள் தெரியாவிட்டாலும் கிறிஸ்துவின் பிறப்பைக் கொண்டாடுவோம்; பியர்,பிராந்தி இல்லாத விழாவாக இது அமைந்திருப்பதாக..!