You can’t exactly blame her, can you?

Hollywood has been shaken today by a celebrity earthquake measuring 9.9 on the Richter scale, after it emerged that Angelina Jolie is leaving Brad Pitt for new lover, William Hague.

The A-list actress and the foreign secretary of the UK were due to travel together to Africa this morning, ostensibly to raise international awareness of rape in warzones.

But the star of such high art films as Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, admitted to reporters moments before embarkation that this was simply a ruse, and that in fact she and Hague were eloping.

“It’s all very well being married to Brad, and I still have a great fondness for him,” said Jolie, “but there’s only so many times you want to see a rich, talented, beautiful man flex his toned, tanned muscles. As Shania Twain said ‘So you’re Brad Pitt? That don’t impress me much’.

“With William I have an adorable, cuddly little guy who’s going balder by the minute. He’s so brilliantly ordinary and his whimsical Northern accent is so full of pathos. He’s sort of like a well-used teddy bear in a charity-shop window.

“Plus he’s just incredible in bed. Whereas Pitt makes love like an inadequately endowed novice, Hague is all man. It’s massive. You should see it, you really should.

“The only sexual violence I’ll be focussing on in the next few weeks is being taken roughly from behind by my Big Willy Hague.”

Throughout Jolie’s candid interview Hague just nodded and smiled, and when she’d finished he said “I’d just like to add; sorry Ffion. But let’s face it, you’re hardly Angelina Jolie, are you now? Whereas she literally is. I mean, she actually is Angelina Jolie. Simples.

“And now if you’ll excuse me, we’re off to the most romantic country on Earth, that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to visit. The Democratic Republic of Congo. What do you mean ‘tight bastard’? I am from fucking Yorkshire you know.”

Waving goodbye they stepped through the aeroplane’s doorway, only for Hague to return a second later, saying “Actually, while I’ve got your attention, could I just quickly say publically to Argentina: look, about the Falklands; go fuck yourselves. Thanks.”

Right now , there are reports that  Brad and Angelina are headed towards splitting up while others in the media  they their relationship is strong an intact.

Some news outlets even reported they went to see a divorce attorney while others reported that reps for Brand and Angelina said this was not true.

Being the optimist I am and believing that this is such a wonderfully like-minded couple who are so committed to various social issues,  I certainly hope that it is not true.

THEIR BODY LANGUAGE ISN’T LYING

But one thing I know for sure is that they have definitely been having issues in their relationship based on their body language.

.I have been asked to do a lot of body language analyses for a lot of magazines around the world over the past several months concerning Brad and Angelina’s body language at different events and I hate to report that it does not look good. After looking at so many photos of them I can assure you that their bodies are not lying. There IS trouble.

CANNES FILM FESTIVAL RED CARPET IN MAY

Let’s go back to Cannes Film Festival  which was in May, Brad and Angelina appeared on the red carpet and you could cut the air with the  tension between them.

Their facial tension and looking in opposite directions is NOT a good signal body language wise.

They clearly had words with one another in Cannes. Brad is mad as determined by his hand position with thumb extended and hands pointed towards Angie. Angie;s hands are in a  defensive position, pulled back along  with her rounded shoulders, This indicates that Brad is upset with Angie and she is feeling defensive.

While they tried to make nice for the camera they are looking in different directions. This is not a good sign. There is a lot of tension on Angelina’s face and Brad’s head is pulled away with a lot of tension in his forehead. There is also a clenched tight jaw and no smiling from either of them.

Here is the couple on the red carpet. They are both looking glum and not very radiant together. Angie looks upset with rounded shoulders and there is way too much distance between them, Bras has his hand in his pocket, a clenched  jaw as he is attempting to hide his obvious negative feelings. They are also  looking in the opposite direction, which is a very bad sign in a relationship. Angie’s face looks  sad with her head bowed down.

DRAGGING BRAD

Angie is pulling Brad along and he clearly does not like it as you can see in his hand position, It is awkward with his fingers spread apart.The tension and furrow in his forehead and open mouth are further indication that Brad is not too happy about something, ALso his stiff arm is a giveaway that he doesn’t like  being dragged.

Here it looks like Brad is holding on to the car for dear life.  Both is arms are stiff and outstretched, This means that he is angry. Angie wears facial tension and her rounded posture shows that she isn’t as secure around Brad as she once was.

ANGIE’S CONTRASTING RADIANCE WITH GEORGE CLOONEY

Now months Later, the couple  is an an event with  George Clooney, Look at how Angie is pulled away from Brad and her head leans coquettishly to the side as she gazes at George Clooney. George’s head leaning in her direction says that he is returning and acknowledging Angie’s flirt even though his eyes are focused on his best buddy Brad. Brad looks stiff  next to Angie and doesn’t lean into her which is also a distancing signal. It does not look like a good sign between them.

Now look at Angie’s radiance around Muhammed Ali, Granted it is Muhammed Ali, but this is an example of Angie at her best. Eyes are smiling, mouth is smiling, You see her teeth and her radiance .

BOTTOM LINE

There is no doubt that this couple has more pressure than most. Their working schedules, movie making, film commitments, PR commitments, philanthropic commitments, world travel,  raising little babies (the twins), rasing th rest of th children and tending to their physical and emotional needs.

They clearly are BOTH loving and caring parents as you can see their love towards every one of their children in every photo they take.

Recently Brad took little Maddox on an outing where Maddox wore a hat similar to his daddy’s. It was touching to see.There is no doubt that Maddox identifies with his dad and loves him as he loves his mom as well.

They may very well be going through a rough patch. Their stresses and challenges  are huge compared to most. I do hope they can work it out between them as they have so many beautiful things together. They are like-minded and caring .

They not only care about their own kids but they unselfishly care about what happens to others in the world.In my view, these are truly beautiful people not only on the outside but on the inside as well. They reflect the old adage of “pretty is as pretty does.”

I hope the best for them and are able to weather the storm of what seems to be a little rough patch. If they do, it will be well worth it and beneficial to everyone. I prey they hang in there and make it work.

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Muhammed Ali and with George

More Recent Event

Once again you can see the tension in their faces. Brad has a half smile as there are no teeth showing a s slight pulling of his lips. Angie;s head is uncharacteristically down indicating that something is amiss between them. She also has a half smile indicating that she is trying to make nice for the camers but something isn’t right.

Angie is uncharactersitically holding on to her arm as though she is bracing herself and pulling Brad towards her. In essence she s manipulating his body positon in this photo op.Brad’s head is turned away and he has a half smile indicating he isn;t too happy.

London’s News of the World revealed today that tumultuous twosome visited a lawyer in Los Angeles during December, while documents were signed earlier this month. The paper’s source is quoted as saying, “The contract was like a tailor-made version of a pre-nuptial agreement except for an unmarried couple’s split.” People.com says their sources insist that the couple is doing well. What do you think?

Pitt and Jolie famously share deep affection for their three adopted children: Cambodian born, eight-year-old, Maddox; son Pax, from Vietnam, who is six-years-old; and five-year-old daughter Zahara, from Ethiopia.  Seventeen month old twins Knox and Vivienne and Shiloh, who is three, are biological children of their own.

“It seemed clear they want the world to know they’ll both play a part in the upbringing of the children,” the News of the World source noted. However, it is said that Jolie will be their full-time caregiver.

Much like the high-profile split and custody situation of Guy Ritchie and Madonna before them, it is rumored that Pitt bought the mansion next to the Pitt-Jolie’s own family home last week to accommodate the new arrangements.

Jolie ended her odd coupling with Billy Bob Thorton in 2003, her second divorce. While Pitt had divorced Friends star Jennifer Aniston, after over four years of marriage, in 2005. Much speculation was made about Jolie and Pitt’s meeting on the set of their pic Mr. Mrs. Smith in 2004 having led to the demise of his marriage to Aniston.

submitted by Casandra Armour