As I sit here contemplating the birth of a savior and a man who so willingly gave his life so others could live – I’m saddened that a government meant to protect the people has so willingly acted against those who they represent.  Ironically, it appears that this government wants to become its very own savior in what it believes will undoubtedly “protect” Americans with their health care monstrosity.  I can honestly say that I’m disheartened by the fact that our very own government believes it can be the alpha and the omega, that it can take the place of faith and God, voting on a bill that could forever change the face of America, on the eve that we celebrate a birth that forever changed the lives of the human race.  The government wants a rebirth of this country on the very same day that a real rebirth of spirituality, faith, and hope entered the hearts of so many.  

As a young American I cry for the times when this country seemed to make sense and the government seemed to act as representatives, not oligarchs.  What do we have to look forward to in the next few years? A real tyranny of the majority? A government run by corporations and special interests not the people? An even larger entitlement mentality when people under 30 already don’t know how to take care of themselves? An insurmountable debt that inevitably makes my peers, and those coming up behind me, serfs to the very country that is supposed to be free?

Where is my Christmas letter from the editor; where is that belief in freedom? And does it even exist anymore?

Dear Editor: 

I am 28 years old.  Some of my friends say there is no Freedom in the United States.  My father says, ‘If you still feel it in your heart it is so.’   Please tell me the truth, is there still Freedom? 

Lindsay Janeway

America

Lindsay, your friends are wrong.  They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age.  They do not believe except what they see.  They think that nothing can be, that our government can never go back to its intention as a Republic.  They think that an oligarchy exists, which means it is too late for America, something their little minds do not quite comprehend yet.  In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.  You see, your friends do not understand that what makes this country great is the fact we all have a voice, and when loud enough can move mountains.  There still is time, Lindsay, if we stand and fight for what is right and what the founders had fought so hard for over 230 years ago.

Yes, Lindsay, there is freedom, or at least it still exists if we fight for it.  It exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.  Alas! How dreary would be the world if there was no free country that fought and continues to fight on behalf of the basic principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  It would be as dreary if there were no Americans who believed in the founding of this great country.  There would be no faith in freedom, no capitalism, no freedom of speech to make tolerable this existence.  We should have no enjoyment except in sense and sight.  The external light with which liberty fills this world would be extinguished.  There would no longer be that shining city on a hill.

To not believe in the American spirit and the basic idea of freedom!? You might as well not believe in sweetness and light! Even if you can’t see freedom what does that prove? Nobody can truly see what is in our hearts or faith for that matter, but just because something cannot be seen, whether in this brief moment in time, or ever, does not mean that it doesn’t exist.  The most real things in the world are those that men cannot see.  As was said in a simple, yet poignant book “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.  What is essential is invisible to the eye.” Freedom, truth, liberty, and happiness are all invisible to man’s eye, Lindsay, but they are what bind Americans of all ideologies, faiths, and walks of life.  These are the essential principles of our individuality as Americans and are the most important beliefs in this world. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart a clock to see how time is kept, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart.  Only tyranny, apathy, entitlement, loss of faith, and socialism could tear that apart.  The only way that this country could not be free is if good men do not stand up and allow for things to happen.  If freedom is not put to good use for the purpose of voicing our opinions and beliefs to be loud and be heard – it is then, that freedom could be lost.  Ah, Lindsay, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding than freedom. 

No Freedom! Thank God! Freedom lives and freedom rings forever.  Do not let the light of freedom dwindle.  If Americans stay vigilant then a thousand years from now, Lindsay, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, freedom will continue to make glad the heart of men and be the beacon of hope for the rest of the world.

So, Lindsay, on this Christmas Eve please stand for what is right and embody what is meant by the home of the brave.  Do this, so one day you can look at your children and tell them that because your faith in freedom and in this great country didn’t taper, they can be free today.

Merry Christmas To All!

Tap-tap.
I don’t know what to say.
I don’t want to be stupid,
I just want to be brave;
But the #2 pencil
Doesn’t want to move,
So I tap-tap
‘Til I think something good…

Lord Byron, sir,
How’d you know what to write?
How’d you string words together
And never lose sight?
See, I’m in love – love! –
Which makes my mind go blank,
So I tap-tap
‘Til I know what to say.

Mr. Shakespeare, man,
You made this prose thing hard.
Now us poor fools and mortals
Have to battle the Bard;
And my sonnets stink –
Trust me, I’ve tried.
My stabs at poems of love
Are Romantic suicide.

Tap-tap.
I don’t know what to say.
I don’t want to be stupid,
I just want to be brave;
But the #2 pencil
Doesn’t want to move,
So I tap-tap
‘Til I think something good…

I want to share deep insights,
But how do you say
Something so special
Without it seeming so lame?
I’ve tried metaphors and similes,
But none of them stuck;
And now I’m feeling like one,
Useless Schmuck.

Tap-tap.
I don’t know what to say.
I don’t want to be stupid,
I just want to be brave;
But the #2 pencil
Doesn’t want to move,
So I tap-tap
‘Til I think something good…

Dear One, please,
Listen to this:
These notes and these words,
Speak my one tender wish
To say three words,
Simple and true:
Tap-tap,
I love you.

So I went and saw this last night with one of my best friends at her very excited insistence. She had already seen it and was over the moon at being able to go again. So I went in with high hopes. I walked out going “Oh my god, that was one of the best movies EVER!”

The movie is set in the future, and though there is talk of Earth, everything is set either on spaceships or on the planet Pandora. Jake Sully, a paraplegic former marine, has taken part in a science experiment in the place of his dead twin brother. He is part of a team of humans that have created “Avatars”, bodies like the native Na’vi people of Pandora (big, blue, amazonian). He can transfer into this new body and out of his broken human one. In the beginning he is protection for the rest of the team, going down with them to Pandora in his new body (and enjoying being able to walk!) and scoffing as they take plant samples and talk of learning the ways of the natives. When he is suddenly separated from his group due to the horrifically scary animals of this planet, he is saved by one of the natives, a female called Neytiri. When the essence of the planet gives Neytiri a sign that he is important, she takes him back to her clan, where he is forced to pass through trials to prove he can be one of them.

Whenever he goes to sleep as a Na’vi he wakes back up in his human body (and vice versa), and during these times you find out more and more about the true reason humans are on Pandora. Underneath the Na’vi tribes home is a precious metal that Earth people want and believe they have every right to take. Jake’s team of scientists know this is inevitable, and are trying to get the Na’vi to move so that they don’t get hurt. The military side of it has stated that if they don’t move in three months they will be executed. At first Jake isn’t that fazed by this, as he thinks he can make them move and with the promise of his legs being fixed, he selfishly believes he is doing the right thing. 

As Jake learns more about the cultural and spiritual aspects of the Na’vi’s world, as well as falling in love with Neytiri, he finds himself. He reevaluates what is important, what is right and good. He learns a strength he never had before, and as a character becomes more animated in his Avatar body than as a human being. I won’t give everything away, but this movie HAS IT ALL! Romance, action, humour, fantastic CGI (and I mean, bloody amazing! Go Weta Productions!), heart and even an environmental message that really makes you think. I kind of thought this was a super modern day Pocahontas, where two worlds meet and the individual who thinks they are more civilised learns that really, they are not. This movie has a beautiful feeling to it, backed up by great acting and amazing, fantastic, wonderful CGI and effects like none I have ever witnessed before.

All in all, I’d give this movie a 10 out of 10. I’m most certainly going to be buying it on DVD when it’s released. I can’t stop raving about it – and neither can anyone I know thats seen it! Please, take my advice. Go see it. Don’t think, boy flick yuck. Science fiction, no thanks. Animated? Bleh. No. Go into it with new eyes. It’s just great – and now I think I prefer blue boys! Hehe.

Avatar The Movie (2009)

Neytiri - Daughter of the clan leaders

So today I spent time with Mike and my essay in the library at university, and it was nice.  The library was eerily quiet, I made up some stuff about my vocational development to date, and we had conversations.  Things are more or less back to normal now, with the easy camaraderie, jokes and giving me a lift home (which ended up in him finally meeting – waving to her from the car, anyway – my mother).  I’m seeing him tomorrow night to watch The Last Broadcast with his wife and sister-in-law, and I feel so blessed to have a friend who makes effort to include me and feels that he can do these things.

We spoke about the love triangle, or about aspects of it.  He said that he is past his obsession now, because nothing can ever happen, we’ve had some space (although it’s only been 5 days) and because she seems to be ruled by her husband.  Mike and I agree that we would never want to be in a relationship where we feel we have to answer to the other person, that we are sometimes subservient and that the other person is the boss.  It’s all a bit strange, because our friend doesn’t seem particularly subservient and is quite a sparky person, and yet she seems to actively toe the line when it comes to her husband’s paranoia (albeit maybe correct) about her new male friends at university.  She has been forbidden from coming to my house party at the beginning of January, because “she’s not a student” (although technically, she is), and yesterday when I was in Cabot Circus with Davina and Deena, I found out she was popping down so I would have liked to say hello, but as she was with her husband it wasn’t going to happen.  I’m glad that Mike says he is doing better – I’m not sure I believe him completely as it seems a bit premature to me, but it’s nice to hear him sound positive about it.

I wish I could say the same about me.  It’s been 5 years since I really fell in love hard for someone like this, and I feel like I’ve come so far since then, I’m a completely different person… and yet, I’m obviously not. Okay, I’m handling things again, and I’m not doing any worse than I was before either – our friendship is more or less back to normal, I’m more happy than I am sad (well, I get more wistful and wanting than really sad) because I made such a good friend, but sometimes I wish that I had a confidant like he does (which is me).  A lot of my friends I know don’t quite understand how I could want someone who is married, nor how the three of us ended up in this tangle of feelings – they just see it as entirely inappropriate, and while they aren’t necessarily wrong, it’s too simplistic a view. Mike, V and I – we’re all people with hearts and feelings and responsibilities to our own families, and just because they may be married doesn’t change the fact that they are still humans full of emotions.  Out of my friends who do understand this, I don’t get the opportunity to see them very often (maybe once every couple of weeks for an hour or so).  It’s difficult.

Mike can tell me about his infatuation (or as of today, conquering of) and explain his feelings to me. He knows that he can trust me, that I won’t judge him and that I will be his friend no matter what.  I know that I can tell Mike about my feelings for him, and that he won’t run away and he will try to understand. But it’s different – apart from the fact that it still twinges that Mike would never want me in that way, I feel like I am humbling or almost humiliating myself to explain the way that I feel and the feelings that I have to him.  It’s brave of us to cope with this, and sometimes I think we overestimate our own strength, but ultimately he’s not confessing his feelings to the person he’s feeling them for (although the three of us are all clear about who likes who – again, it’s messy).  I’m his best friend and his shoulder, and I feel privileged.  I think we’ll always be close, but it’s slightly different for me.  I wish there was someone (and by that I mean a physical someone here, I appreciate all of you guys taking the time to read this and your comments and encouragement on twitter etc.!) to whom I could pour this all out and not feel judged or told that I should move on or get over it, because they are married and have children.  I already know this, and I think I am more or less strong enough not to act on my feelings – that’s the saving grace of being able to talk to Mike about my feelings for him and he is able to listen and support me as a best friend.  But sometimes, just to have someone a little less in the thick of it than the direct object of my crush would be nice!  A confidant.

Hello Thee,

Ye might feel a little fear at times.

Sometimes the fear is good, because ye should know when in danger.

At times of doubt though, tis quite different. The reason ye feel this fear is because ye are so near to something great. Especially the magic, your greatest fear will appear when you are closest to real perfection.

Never listen to the goblin whispering little failures in yer ear. For he is never brave enough to even think of a brave act. He cowers in the mud, waiting to gobble yer fear and tears. Yes, he gets many victories cowering below, for not everyone can be brave. But his victories are week and he always hungers for more.

So when ye are afraid, ignore the goblin. Great things will then befall you; for one small victory of bravery is more fulfilling and more powerful then any goblins filthy feat.

Well…this one took a long time to finish.  When I first started reading it, I had high hopes for this book. I loved the idea of someone or something stealing talent.  However, from the get-go, the characters were not terribly likable or easy to identify with, nor was the plot much different from other books that I’ve read.  In fact, there were some similar plot points to the Lemony Snicket series which I prefer immensely over this one.

Cressida is a talented teen who sings beautifully.  She and her brother Adam, whom she considers utterly talentless, are invited to the “Festival of Youthful Genius” by a man named Fortescue, who turns out to be the evil villain.  He has befriended a strange creature with an amazing ability to extract talent and save it to an orb. Fortescue plans to use this to become powerful.  Adam seems to be the only one who realizes this and wants to do something about it.  When Cressida’s singing talent is stolen by the creature, Adam plans to get it back.

With the help of female race car driver, Amy, and famous tracker, Saul, both of whom have also lost their talents, they attempt to catch up with Fortescue to get their talents back.  There is no depth to Amy and Saul’s characters, and Amy’s tough “American speak” is quite grating.

The plot involves breaking into Fortescue’s secret lair and saving Adam, who may possess a talent after all.  The book is set up for a sequel, as the villain escapes, and the creature is potentially trapped.  Cressida and Adam seem to come to some understanding, but it’s not the usually warm, fuzzy “I love my sibling and he’s worthy” kind of feeling; instead it seems rather stand-offish.

For me, this book took too long to read.  I actually went out of my way to find other things to do than read this book. The idea was great, but the story needs better, deeper characters.  I thought it was just me, but when I conferred with another teacher-librarian, she agreed that this book was hard to like, and couldn’t figure out how it got nominated for the Surrey Schools’ Book of the Year.

I did like the last chapter which builds on the character of the creature.  It’s just too bad that the potential came so late in the story.

Reading level:  Grade 5-7

Objectionable material:  Fortescue says “damn” often.

12.12.09 – It’s (yet again) the early hours and I’ve been trying so hard to help out all my friends who are going through some rough times.  Family crises, break ups, emotional meltdowns and more.  And I try so hard to help them all but not sure if I actually do.

To have a very dear friend crying saying they can’t cope any more and want to ‘get out’ is heartbreaking – and even though I’ve been through exactly what they are going through, I don’t know if my words got through.  I hope they did – but their distress was so intense and, for them, they couldn’t see a way out.  I said that they absolutely were strong enough to get through these difficult times and that there were many, many people around them that would help and support them…but to hear them crying and being in such despair tore me up.

So, here I am being the strong, supportive one!  Role reversal I think, or what!  I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that there is hope.  We all survive and we are all stronger than we think.  When you have the shoulders of your friends to lean on, it does make it easier.  I hope I’ve been a friend to them when they’ve needed one; as they have been to me in the past.

I’m no martyr nor saint nor angel – but I am, and always will be, a friend to those who need me.  Love you all people! x

He was in a hurry to go to the conference in the early morning. He got struck up in the traffic due to some sensitive happenings in the city. Police people placed barricades at junction points to not allow the public. Feeling disgusted, he barked at the Police gentle man and tried to explain public grievances etc.

But Police gentle man was cool and  just listened to his pains and said, ” First, put your pants zip on….”

********

You’re in a conference with smart people. All of a sudden they start discussing a term or concept you don’t aware of or understand, what do you do?

Do you know what is IPSec Encapsulating Security Payload (ESP)? Anything about Triple DES encryption? Secured connectivity using GRE tunneling, site-to-site VPN, blah blah blah?

If smart people in the meeting are talking about an approach or concept that you don’t know, it’s very important that you don’t just be there and nod your head sagely. I think there are two constructive approaches. The first is to ask. “Wait, I was with you until a second ago. What does that mean?”

The second approach is to write it down and not go to bed that night until you know the topic better than the person who brought it up. How else, precisely, are you going to become one of the smart people?

09.12.09 – Turbulent and traumatic times.  I have news that two relations may have serious illnessess – one cancer, the other, as yet, undiagnosed.  So guess I should count my blessings.  I’m still relatively healthy, albeit with undercurrents of depression, stress related conditions and complete mind fucks (sorry about language, but that’s just the way it is).

Just as I think I’ve turned a corner and things are finally, finally coming to a mutually condusive end, there’s always something which goes and screws it all up.  So, yet again, here I am being in the support role and effectively ‘holding hands’ to someone (my mum and my ex).  And where does it leave me? Feeling selfish for thinking about myself and hating myself when these people have so much more pressure and distress in their lives.  I cannot and will not abandon my family nor my friends, no matter what shit I’m going through.  Whatever happens (happened) to me, I’m still here and alive – and I hate seeing the people I care about being so distressed and hurting.  My needs are completely secondary – and I will be here for them, even if I’ve not really got anyone here for me.  Yeah….more selfish, I know.

So exactly how can I fully ‘leave’ someone when this is happening – his dad’s been in hospital since Friday and will be for at least another week.  They still don’t know exactly what it is other than in the scans they’ve found ‘a growth’.  Hopefully won’t be anything life threatening, but….

Today was actually quite a good day for me – had a bit of a company team building thing going on, with lots of creative stuff happening.  In fact I did a painting (sunrise over stormy sea) which, when I explained what it represtented about me – sun rising over the storm and seeing that it was becomming lighter and brighter and a new day was dawning – all the people in the room applauded me.  They all know what I’ve been going through and they can all see me coming out the other side.  They are a truly supportive bunch of people and they ‘get’ me.  But now I’m caught up in the turmoils of other people yet again.  And, please, please do not get me wrong, I  sincerely hope that my uncle and my ex’s father are going to be ok, I really, really do….but I also want to live.  At the moment I’m dying slowly day by day and until I can totally break free and start being me and living for me, I think I’ve a long and painful death awaiting me (metaphorically speaking).

God, that just sounds so, so selfish.  But I just want to have my life back…I’m not yet ready to give up and fade away.  So, I put myself on hold again until everything is sorted out in other people’s lives.  One day I might even get my own life?

“Well, anything’s possible in America,” said Mrs. Wellborne. (from Lucky Breaks by Susan Patron)

Finished Lucky Breaks–very good read. I will look forward to the final in the trilogy whenever Patron finishes it.

Today I am mindful of Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day and thankful for the people of that generation who fought to preserve the freedom of many despite the tyrrany of a few.

I had hoped to actually post this before Cleaving’s December 1 publication date as I have friends in high places (…sorta…) and got an early copy of Julie Powell’s second book…and wanted to rub it in your collective faces a little bit. (But in the nicest way possible.)

But, alas, it is now December 5, and for all you know, I could have spent the last four days feverishly reading it and composing dark lies.

But *that*, I suppose, is sort of beside the point.

–

I had *heard* Cleaving got bad reviews…and I understand why. I hadn’t actually read any of the critics until I sat down to write *this.* But as I was reading the book, I definitely thought, “People are not going to like this…”

And because of the kinship I felt with Julie in Julie and Julia (and that I still felt — albeit to a lesser degree — in Cleaving), I’m going to go out on a limb and play a little devil’s advocate here. Which is not to say I liked the entire book. I initially thought it was hard to get into — the text really just goes back and forth between Knives/Meat and Marriage Falling Apart/Affair over and over again. Neither topic is really pleasant to encounter…(especially for those of us who saw Chris Messina valiantly play the role of Eric in this summer’s movie…)

But first I’ll tackle the meat: I’m hardly a vegetarian (those vegan blog posts last year were really just a buddy at HuffPo hooking an unemployed girl up…), but, put lightly, some of those butchering passages were really hard to read. (It was sort of like when I was watching something on TV with my parents about bison that mysteriously died in a national park..and it turned out that they were already sick…and because of the cold weather, they got trapped in some sort of gassy something-or-rather out on the plains…so, it was unfortunate, but they would have died anyway. And the national parks guys proved this by cracking open one of the bones and showing this really gooey bone marrow…and my mother and I saw it and immediately exclaimed, “EWW!” and my dad just said, “What? It’s bone marrow.”) So…Point #1: I may eat steak, but that doesn’t make it easy to read about how a cow *becomes* steak. Which maybe means I *should* be a vegetarian…but that’s a topic for another post.

Point #2: After such phenomenal success with her first book, I sort of have to give Powell props for not following a similar pattern and writing the same thing again, but with Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Volume Two. I would imagine the temptation would totally be there with something that has already been established as a successful model…*especially* when that model has been turned into a Nora Ephron movie and you KNOW that plenty of people will buy the second book on name recognition alone.

I think London’s Sunday Times put it best, actually, in this review that asked how Powell could possibly top herself after Julie and Julia…and then answers itself: “The answer is, of course, that she couldn’t. But she has had a jolly good stab at it — literally.”

I like that — “a jolly good stab.” We should all be so lucky…

But…it *is* gross. And disconcerting. And, as noted, I basically agreed with everyone who didn’t like it…until D — the man with whom she is having the torrid affair that threatens her marriage — disappears. That was the moment Julie became a sympathetic character to me…and I started to identify with her more and more…and even recognized some of my own behavioral patterns in the things she does for him…even though she knows she’ll never hear from him. This may officially make me a crazy person, but…1. Who among you didn’t think that anyway? And…2. I totally understand that compulsion…and that desire to maintain a connection with someone no longer in your life. Small case in point: There is perhaps no one (aside from myself) who loved my cat more than the Bartender. And so, for example, when I finally got the cat fixed and the vet told me that he was the most well-endowed feline she had ever neutered, I *knew* the Bartender would appreciate the story…perhaps more than anyone else. And so I emailed him about it…even though I knew he wouldn’t respond. I guess part of me is stubborn enough and/or hopeful enough that somewhere out there, he read my message and it made him happy and he remembered that we had good times together. (But when I read Christine Muhlke’s review in the NYT, I felt really bad about myself. I can’t help but feel she’s calling me pathetic, too: “Powell’s not kidding about the ‘obsession’ part: she pathetically texts and e-mails into the ether for almost a year, then fleshes her longing into a book that doesn’t spare the reader a single full-frontal flashback.” [For the record though, I spared y'all plenty of full-frontal flashbacks. So count your blessings.])

However, when I told my friend J that I sort of got Julie’s sadness about D, she said, “But you don’t have a husband!!” which is a fair point. And, Julie, as much as I’d like to defend you (you’re the one, after all, who gave me hope that it *is* possible to be at a point in life in which you feel absolutely nothing is going right, but you can still suck it up and make positive changes and turn everything around…), I gotta say that it *is* hard to have real, total, complete sympathy for you knowing that you have Eric at home. And, sure, he goes out and has his own affair, too…but…I found myself asking, “Why not just get a divorce?” repeatedly. And, sure, he’s been a part of your life for a super-long time and you know each other so well that you’re basically the same person and you always know what the other one is thinking…which is why you can’t hide the affair from him in the first place, but also why you can’t bear to part with him, and…well…I don’t know. It just sort of gets to a point where it seems like a tough decision needs to be made…but nobody is willing to make it and it kinda feels like you guys are making your own beds. Either get divorced or don’t, but, for the love of god, stop complaining about the uncertainty. (Which, ultimately, she does.) (And all of this, “But I love/know him more than I love/know myself…”-business sort of makes me think of the fourth book in the Twilight series and that half-vampire baby that resulted from Bella and Edward’s union. UGH. But, again, another post for another day.)

Point #3 is that when you write something like this, you have to be honest. (Or at least that’s what Dale Maharidge taught me…) And, sure, some of Cleaving is a little saucy and/or, you know, what kids these days (or kids from days of yore) might call TMI…but, at the same time, I also think it’s kind of brave. She wrote about a topic that clearly does not paint her in a positive light…but she doesn’t gloss over any of it. She sort of offers herself up — flaws and all. And that takes guts. And to touch on Point #2 again briefly, all the saucy stuff takes her further out of her Julie and Julia Comfort Zone…and I gotta give her props for being brave enough to do that, too. (But, then again, I don’t know how much of it was actually flexing writing muscles and how much of it was, “See?? I can write naughty words! And lots of ‘em!”)

I also think confidence plays a big role in all of this…and it is where, again, I feel a certain kinship with Ms. Powell. I was just at a little J-school classmate reunion-y thing, in fact, when I was talking about making slow progress on my book and one of my classmates grabbed me by the arms and shook me a little and said, “You’re so talented! Do you know that? You have to know that and acknowledge it and understand that someday you’re going to do great things!” and it was sort of like, “Yes! Sure. Okay!”

I like the way the NYT put the confidence issue best: Muhlke writes that D’s enduring power over Julie exists, in part, because his presence in her life “instills the confidence that being played by Amy Adams in the movie apparently did not.” And…I don’t know. But I get that, too. And, heck, I can only assume money is no object for her now and I don’t really see anything wrong with looking around and saying, “Hey! I have a lot of freedom!” and then trying butchering on for size and going to Argentina, Ukraine and Tanzania…in order to clear her head or spark something within her or simply to delay the inevitable. Obviously she’s still a person trying to figure out who she is and what makes her tick…and I’m not sure we should all be so quick to judge. She has an amazing opportunity sans financial pressures to actually figure out all that stuff on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs…that a lot of people never get to do. I have no idea what I’d do with myself if I didn’t have to worry about paying rent or bills or anything (aside from blogging for all of you, natch). While visiting my parents for Thanksgiving, I went to a thrift shop with my mother and found a giant silver clock that was lined with velvet and contained a hologram of the Last Supper and some fake flowers. And it was just the most amazing clock ever…but there was a slight imperfection in the velvet lining…so I bought some additional fake flowers and glued them on the inside and then I decided I might as well touch up the silver paint while I was at it, too…and I pretty much had the time of my life. So…perhaps I would fix up old clocks. But would I really be fulfilled by that forever and ever? I have no idea. (See? Creating a fulfilling life for oneself is a toughie.)

Bottom line: I think there’s a lot of be said about pursuing your passion no matter what. And I hate to get up on a feminist soapbox, but…I don’t think it’s totally unreasonable to point out that women face this tinge of selfishness when they want to do something purely for themselves that men never do. A man can pursue whatever career/passions he wants and he can still be a model family man. But a woman who puts her career and/or other passions at the forefront at the expense of family and/or children isn’t such a sympathetic figure. And that’s not really fair. (I am tempted to ask the “What if Julie was a man?”-question and bring up powerful men and *their* affairs and follow *that* thread for awhile…but I think Access Hollywood quite thoroughly beat me to that punch last week.)

And, I mean, I totally understand Julie’s excitement in having her own apartment. (Did Virginia Woolf not write that “a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction”?) I’m really not good at sharing spaces. In fact, I think my own apartment may be the ONE thing I’ve done right in my life to date. So…yet another thing that makes me get Julie. If only Eric didn’t exist at all, she might be one of my favorite people ever…(or perhaps I should say, “The idea of her…” I just Googled and found an interivew on YumSugar and realized that she *is*, in fact, a real person and thought, “Yikes! What if she reads this?” Which she won’t…but, still…)

My final plus: It’s hard to travel on your own. Heck, I have trouble eating or going to movies by myself. (That’s one of the good things about working from home — I can go see movies in the middle of the day in the middle of the week and absolutely no one is in the theater…) So — even though I agree with the reviewers that her post-apprenticeship jaunts around the world *do* seem to have been tacked on without a firm idea about how they contribute to the book as a whole — I also think it’s really great she was brave enough to fly all over the world on her own.

The NYT felt otherwise — “She travels to Argentina, Ukraine and Tanzania, a 100-page exercise in self-indulgent writing, in which she dwells on how attractive the locals find her and how much Malbec, Cognac or goat’s blood she can drink…” — but, I mean, c’mon. What is memoir (or foodoir) if not an exercise in self-indulgence?

It is 12:05am. Finally, I am now in the mood to write about my trip to Switzerland. It’s about time, huh?

First, I am going to just write whatever I wrote in my handphone first. Or maybe, I’ll just edit here and there. But what I am about to write is coming from what I wrote in my handphone, on the first day I arrived there, okay? Here goes

ps; I’m warning you that it is going to be boring!

I am writing this in the notes section of my handphone. Obviously, I can’t get access to the internet. Unfortunately, free internet is only available in the hotel lobby and you can only use it if you need to book flight tickets and stuffs like that and there will be hotel staffs watching you like guards or something to make sure you don’t open your Facebook or like, blog about crappy stuffs and whatsoever

However, I am still hoping to find a place where they offer free WiFi but so far, I have not set my eyes on any malls yet. But there is a Starbucks nearby. Just nearby. I am now, in a service apartment. Not in a hotel. Yeah. But the check in and check out process are done at the hotel.

Anyway, it is now 7:00pm here, in Zurich, which means that it must be somewhere around 2:00am in Malaysia. Great, I will start feeling sleepy soon. I am writing this because I just don’t want to forget things I know I want to blog about later! So, let’s start, shall we?

I went through the longest night in my entire life yesterday. For we had to go through 19 hours of darkness because of the time zone or something. From 7pm in Malaysia, we were at KLIA, then to Changi Airport until about 12 midnight, then, on the flight and the next thing I know, we arrived in Zurich at around 7:00pm (Zurich time) which is like I said just now, 2:00am in Malaysia.And of course, it’s winter and it gets dark early here. It’s already dark at 4:30pm

Oh yeah, Changi Airport was really cool. We arrived there at 9pm, on the 17th of Nov, and had to wait for the transit flight at 1:10am. There were a lot of things to do there. Free internet was like, everywhere! In every corner, actually! You can shop, you can eat, you can massage your feet for free from the hundreds foot-massaging machines available there, you can play games, you can do arts, etc. I mean, KLIA is pretty, big and all but I think it’s kind of boring and lame compared to Changi Airport. There were so many things to do that we didn’t even feel like the wait was that long! If I had to wait for that long at KLIA, oh my, it would be BORING YAWN YAWN YAWN. Don’t you agree? Hehe

We ate at Burger King which costed us A LOT. Burger King’s Mushroom Swiss in Malaysia costs about RM 7-9, I think. And there, the price is S$7-9. So, it is the same number except for we had to somewhat triple it up because of the currency!! So, we had to spend around RM100+ just for Burger King :-| Sheesh.

Burger King, Changi Airport

After eating, I went to this free internet zone and of course, went on Facebook and Twitter. You see, actually, we almost did not get on the airplane back in KLIA. Why? First, when we were passing through the immigration people, we found out that our passports were 8 days less than the 6 months required from the expiry date for travelling.

Mama was so pissed off because she called the immigration before and they told her that because our passports will expire on the May 2010, we don’t have to renew it. And now, the guy is telling us that we have less than 6 months from the allowed travelling period. (My explanation sucks) Turns out that the passport will expire on the 9th May, so, we had 5 months and 20+days only, not 6 months.

(everyone knows that if we want to travel, our passports need to have a 6 month period before the stated expiry date)

The Malaysian immigration guy said that he could let us go but he’s just not sure if we’ll pass Singapore and Switzerland immigration or not. So, we decided to just take the risk.Yeah, we were some bunch of “brave” people!

Then, before taking the aerotrain (or whatever it’s called), Dad called and told us that things were not really going as they thought it would and my heart stopped. Like, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? We had our boarding passes already. I was holding my coat. The others were as well. And here you are, telling us it’s better for us NOT TO GO? I have already cancelled my name for the awards night, I have informed everyone. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

Mama was crying. I felt like crying except that I had to stay strong. Then, Mama called the Singapore Airlines people to take back our bags BUT a miracle happened. The Singapore Airlines lady managed to calm my mom down by telling her that we have already paid the tickets, together with the tickets going back to Malaysia. And Switzerland’s immigration is not that strict so there is a high possibility that we will get to pass.

Mama thought about it and said that yeah, we should go and all that. Hurried to perform Maghrib prayers and we went just on time as the gate was just about to open. However, I didn’t feel good. Dad’s work not going well. We were not even sure we could pass through Singapore and Swiss immigration. I mean, if we don’t make it, we’ll have to buy tickets back to Malaysia on the spot, you know? How scary is that?

To shorten the story, we made it. The immigration guy in Zurich just marked our passports and didn’t even ask much questions! When we declared the goods we brought, which consisted of canned curry chicken, beef and mutton, the guy let us go! He was supposed to take them away you know?? Except for the chicken because we can’t bring four-legged animals in only! But he said; Hey, I didn’t see that okay?

And he smiled. Then he kind of explained that he let us go because we declared it, not like, tried to get away with it by not declaring Alhamdulillah.

Being in the economy class was kind of torturing :-| Not to be ungrateful or whatever but seriously, if you have to travel more than 10 hours, and if you can afford it, go for Business Class. It is obviously much better. I am having body ache because of the horrible seat which didn’t even allow me to lie down fully But the services were not that bad. There was this one stewardess who even thought that my mom was a single mother! Because my dad wasn’t with us, right. So, we got special treatment. Har har. She asked us if there was anything we needed almost all the time. She memorized our names (my siblings and I) .And she gave us special goodies as well Teehee.

airplane

The movies showing on the flight were cool. I didn’t watch much though because I was sleepy. It was already around 3:00am in Malaysia, after being served supper an hour after the flight boarded. Oh yeah, I watched Julie and Julia which is not coming out in Malaysia any soon. Haha. It was quite nice and funny. Of course, Meryl Streep is always funny, right..

Back in Zurich, we got a cab from the airport to our apartment. We arrived early, so we had to wait a few hours for the room to be ready. So, we just went to the supermarket nearby, it was located at the train station actually, called Bahnhof Zurich Enge. Enge is the name of the place, if I am not mistaken but Bahnhof means railway station in German

The train station.

We bought some food at the train station. There was McDonalds too but didn’t eat there for surely, it was not halal. We bought croissants! Hot from the oven and oh my God, I have never tasted croissants as good as the ones we bought! And it costed us only CHF -.85 (you can look at it as 85 cents if there is the negative sign). CHF is Swiss Franc by the way. Quite cheap, considering the fact that it was super duper delicious! The chocolate drink was also very, very, very nice. NOTHING compared to any other chocolate drinks in Malaysia which taste so sweet! The chocolate drink we bought tasted purely like chocolate and was not that sweet. And costed around CHF-.70. Cheap huh if you live there!

Took a lot of pictures and hell, it was freezing! My hands felt like ice! I think it’s because I was wearing a not so thick coat because I thought we would be able to go into our apartment first before walking around! Yeah, we walked around, a few blocks away from our apartment. Just walked and walked and walked and took pictures

yes, first day. yes, I was FREEZING.

me. little sister.

I have to admit, it was kind of boring. Well, if you compare it with Kuala Lumpur. People walk as if they have no friends! They seem like they are in their own world. And no offense, but I think Australians and New Zealanders are more friendly than erm, Europeans? Heh. This is coming from a very inexperienced person. Don’t get me wrong, they ARE friendly, but not as friendly as Aussies and NZs people That’s all. But we did feel welcomed anyway! Plus a few weird stares from some people because of the hijab

Oh yeah, it’s boring because they don’t have any grand mall or something. They just have these, what we Malaysians call, shop houses/lots. Even the Louis Vuitton, Chanel, etc are just normal shops like that. They don’t have their own version of Mid Valley or 1 Utama or Pavilion or something. Or maybe we haven’t discovered it yet! I don’t know. But so far, nope nope nope, none, na-da!

Well, I guess it is their style. I just have to wonder where’s the cinema and all. Hmmm.

Anyway, at around 12:00pm, we went back to the hotel and checked if our apartment was ready and yes, it was. Went to the supermarket first to buy some food and drinks. At first, we were happy because the mineral water was super cheap. Only CHF-.45 per 2 litres!You can’t get a 2 litres mineral water for RM 1.35 in Malaysia Then, later we found out that all the tap water, including the fountain water at the road sides and all can be drank except if it is stated that it is not safe to drink from that particular source. We felt like idiots. LOL

We had Maggi for lunch. Hooray! And everyone fell asleep while I was left, unpacking our stuffs. It’s my duty whenever we go overseas. I am always the one, doing the unpacking and tidying up the kitchen and all that. I just like it, I don’t why. Makes me feel like I am at my own house

Oh yeah, our apartment has 1 kitchen, of course, a living room which can also be made as a bedroom, 3 proper bedrooms, 1 toilet and 1 bathroom. It was really simple and I don’t know, I like it

in the kitchen, silly pose, choc drink!

master bedroom : )

At around 6:00pm (Zurich time), I woke my brothers up and we went to the supermarket, again, to buy Nutella and bread. I ate and was feeling like a zombie already because I was too tired! So, went to sleep

And now, waiting to go out again. Will write again soon. Ta!

Phew. WHAT A LONG STORY!

My God. How did I survive, writing all that!?

And that’s only part 1. Boy, I sure don’t promise that there will be a part 2, people! Not that it would be interesting or whatever but I did come across an Erotic Megastore! Hahaha. You know, the kind of store that sells urm, adults toys. Yeah, it’s there, in public, like 7 Eleven here! My eyes went all big seeing that. LOL. Shocked oh kay! Not like, I was so into or whatever! Saw a lot of porn magazines too, at the bookstores. Felt so funny because not used to it, right! Imagine you are in MPH and suddenly a magazine with a naked woman, spreading her legs is in front of you. Like, euw, yucks. For me! OK? Thank God I live in Malaysia

Haha. Sorry for the pervert stuffs. Can’t help it

It is 1:48am. I am somewhat sleepy despite waking up at 11:00am just now. Am going out with Mr L tomorrow, I think. He asked me to go out. Going out with him again on Monday. Hix. I am so excited Sorry!

Well, till next time. Good night, people!

xoxo, Fanah.

Dr. Stephen C. Meyer

There can be only one. (H/T Evolution News)

Excerpt:

From his office Meyer has ventured forth to debate at least nine prominent Darwinians on CNN, NPR, FOX, the BBC, and other venues. In it he has written numerous newspaper and magazine columns in defense of Intelligent Design (ID), as well as an academic article that became notorious five years ago when Richard Sternberg, a Smithsonian-affiliated scientist, agreed to publish it in the peer-reviewed Proceedings of the Biological Society of Washington.

[...]When Meyer completed his dissertation, “Of Clues and Causes: A Methodological Interpretation of Origin of Life Studies,” the University of Cambridge in 1991 awarded him its prestigious Ph.D. Meyer, having proceeded through questioning and discernment stages, had to decide whether to enter the courage stage. Everyone knows that microevolution—change within species—occurs, but the critical issue is whether the descendants of dinosaurs become birds through natural selection. Denying macroevolution leaves scientists unprotected even at some Christian colleges.

[...]Courage becomes a determinant once we count the cost and see that it’s great. Meyer’s first inkling came when “talking about my ideas to people at Cambridge High Table settings, and getting that sudden social pall.” But the cost was and is more than conversational ease: San Francisco State University in 1992 expelled a professor, Dean Kenyon, who espoused ID, and other job losses have come since.

I met Dr. Meyer for the first time at the Baylor University conference on intelligent design in 2000. He comes across as extremely genuine and approachable. At other conferences, he even remembered my name! I still hold out hope of one day going for a PhD (I even came up with a great idea this week) and it’s largely because of authentic Christian scholars like Dr. Meyer who inspire me with a vision of what is possible.

Wild Bird
In a corner quiet and still,
My wild bird waits,
Eyes half shut, she trembles,
Waiting for the hand she hates,
But I gently pull her out,
Away from her security perch,
And set her softly down,
Upon a limb of birch,
Her pulse is throbbing so strong,
I feel it in the air,
She is scared, my poor little bird,
And seems to be frozen there,
Locked up so long in that tiny cage,
She’s forgotten how to fly,
And now with me hovering near,
She’s still afraid to try,
I know what’ll happen, little bird,
If you refuse to try,
Your heart will freeze and stop,
And then—you’ll die,
I don’t want that on my mind,
So don’t look at me—look at the sky,
And dream big dreams of your own,
Fly, wild bird, fly.

1. FUCK PLANNING. Nothing will ever go your way if you plan it, not even a back up plan. It’s best to play it by ear and let it come. Theres no way to stop it
2. POWER IS MEANINGLESS. To have power corrupts the mind, in the end, power will destroy who you are. Be free and let go
3. BE YOURSELF. Think your not good enough for that girl you been chasing after? How about just be yourself and see if she accepts, if not dont worry. And the worse thing you could do is be some one else. You know who you are.
4. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. It has lead me to endless areas and Im glad I have gone there. Listen well and..
5. NEVER DOUBT. Even one doubt can ruin everything. Be brave and man up.
6. TRUTH IS ONLY AN OPINION. No matter what we believe is truth it is never fully real. I could tell some one the endless truth but its only up to them if the truth is real. Even then they may never believe me.

So far this is what Ive been learning the most…more to come I hope…

-Spooky D. McGee

When a Flower is So Much More
The world is a bowl of color in disarray,
Flowers sprinkled across the land,
So easily trampled, so easily spoiled,
So easily used up, so easily ignored,
But I think there are special times
When a flower is not just a flower,
Like just after a rain,
When the earth opens with a warm wetness,
And a flower softly scents the air,
As if accepting the earth’s challenge for supremacy,
Or in the morning just after a dew,
When two or three droplets glisten,
A flower is not just a flower,
But a symbol of love and freshness,
A work of exquisite craftsmanship,
And sometimes, just sometimes, on a mountain ledge,
Where nothing else will grow,
As a test of bravery,
A flower will appear and fight for survival,
A fragile beauty on a rugged land,
A monument to all that’s grand,
Or sometimes in a city with concrete gray,
A flower is not just a flower,
But a symbol of innocence,
Of a new world waiting around a corner,
Or a reminder of what has been, and then,
It is at those moments a flower is not just a flower,
For it reveals all the power and glory,
Of hope and love, of riches and reward,
An answer when life is short of answers,
It is this calling of nature,
That tries to reawaken the souls of those who see,
That one moment of crowning glory,
It is then that a flower is so much more than just a flower.

I always knew what courage meant but I never actually have looked it up before. The definition is more powerful than I originally thought.

Courage: The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.

“I would love to learn.”

Learning is OK. Listening is fine.

But initiating is rare, valuable and very important.

How often do you initiate rather than react? How often do you invent raather than exploit?

Fear and hesitation go hand in hand. The trick is to separate the two, to recognize that you needn’t wait until you are free of fear in order to act. Indeed, if that were the case, most of the people whom we consider brave would still be waiting for the moment of bold action that earned them the appellation “hero.”

Years ago I heard a panel discussion on the subject of Wagner’s opera cycle The Ring of the Nibelung that actually touched on the issue of courage and decisive action. The experts focused on the character Siegfried, who is described as someone who has never known an instant of fear in his life. Should we therefore consider Siegfried’s fearless behavior to be indicative of heroism and bravery? The panel in question concluded it did not. After all, they reasoned, how can one be a hero without fear to overcome? Only a fool would rush to action without being aware of the attendant dangers. But a brave and courageous man would know the perils facing him and choose to act in any case.

Most of us won’t face dragons or fire, of course, but we still will all have numerous chances to act decisively or to hold back. Here is a trivial, but instructive example from my own life. In college, I was fulfilling a PE requirement by taking fencing. Now, I wasn’t a very good fencer, despite being a reasonably good athlete. And, my heavy academic course load didn’t permit me the luxury of spending time outside of class to practice fencing. Thus, in the first seven matches I had against my classmates, I won only three, a pretty mediocre showing.

Nonetheless, I was competitive enough to want to win more often, so I reasoned that there just might be a way that wouldn’t take time away from my other studies. I realized that I was a relatively tentative fencer, and so I decided to become more aggressive. I set myself the task of getting in the first “touch” as soon as each new match began. The strategy worked. Of the next 17 matches, I won 14. I was almost always able to get a 1 to 0 lead within a few seconds of the start of the competition by catching my adversaries off-guard. Yet, despite my new found success, I was really no better at fencing than I’d been when my record was three wins and four losses. I was simply less hesitant, more aggressive.

I once had a biology professor named Hudson who conducted the “Quiz” portion of his classes in a way to encourage behavior similar to my fencing experience. You were graded on the number of questions you answered correctly and lost points if you answered the interrogatories wrong. Hudson asked the questions aloud and it was a race to get your hand up first and have him call on you to answer. Naturally, you had to make a quick decision as to whether you had the right answer. Very fast indeed. Those who hesitated were, as the saying goes, “lost.”

But how does this all apply to daily life, the life outside of the university. You might say that “normal” life is less competitive than my examples suggest, but is it? To answer that question, ask yourself how often you hesitate to do things, take chances, give public voice to concerns that might engender disapproval, avoid tasks that are difficult or challenging? Do you ask out the beautiful woman, or do you wait until you feel “ready,” only to watch someone else beat your time in getting her attention? Do you, at least sometimes, see a crisis as an opportunity? Or do you hold back, put things off, wait and hope that another or better time for action will come? Sometimes it will, but sometimes it won’t.

If your “default” strategy, your habitual tendency, is to wait, you have a similar problem to those whose standard operating procedure is to act impulsively, without thinking. It may be the case that “fools rush in where angels fear to tread,” but it is also true that you are an equal fool if you forever hold back, hesitate, and watch the moment pass or see someone else “seize the day (carpe diem).”

What I am talking about is fear and the uncertainty that fuels it. When we are fearful and decide not to take action, most of us feel an immediate sense of relief. That relief reinforces our hesitation, while simultaneously depriving us of the opportunity to succeed in the endeavor. Soon enough, the relief will pass, but not the self-doubt and lack of personal esteem and confidence that might have been won by an effective action.

The danger in allowing too many chances to pass by is a life of “quiet desperation,” a life on the sidelines, watching others play the game, but not playing it ourselves. And, at the end of life, regret for the opportunities passed and the chances not taken is more likely to be troubling than the failed efforts made. Beware the heartache of the words “what if?” True, acting boldly often fails; but, it also sometimes succeeds.

No wonder, then, that musicians spend relatively little time passively listening to music. They are too busy making it.

Make music of your life, then. Let the trumpet announce (or remind) the world of your presence. Sing your song. And if you cannot, find a therapist who will give you the tools to beat back your fear and help encourage you.

The Bravery have always had their own unique sound and they have stuck with it.  And that is no exception with their latest album “Stir the Blood.”  It really is picky if your going to like this album or not.  It is alternative rock music with a 70s psychedelic like hint to it.  The way they take a small saying and describe it and put it into a song is excellent.  The only problem I have is that some of the instrumental backing tracks sound the same in a few.  They add certain things like bells and guitar solos to break them up.

Overall this is a good album it just depends on the individual.  If you have heard of The Bravery before, then you will not be disappointed.  If you have not listen to this band then you might want to look them up.  It is hard to compare them with others because they are so unique.  They have taken many rock and alt sound and mashed them up into their own.  If you like maybe a band like Green Day you should give this band a try.

examples:

the time when I thought I could spring up very high on a diving board and curve my body up and over like a rainbow, to get in to the water pin straight and diagonal, hands pointed above my head. The classic dive. Whilst midair I realized it was not going to work or I got scared. Whatever the reason was, I belly flopped HARD! It jolted my neck like sedan whiplash. That plane of water slapped me hard and taught me a lesson. That lesson is the title of this blog.

One time I thought about making a snappy comeback in jest by using the voice and words of Eric Cartman. I chickened out on the voice, and what I said didn’t come across as being a quote from a foul mouthed cartoon character, but rather as my own feeling about the situation. That lead to a big misundestanding later, and a great deal of awkwardness.

I was in the spelling bee when I was in sixth grade. I studied my ass off. I was so sure that I was going to do great. So many times I had stood on the stage at church and sang, my knees quivering, and would go cry after I was done. Not because I had done poorly, but just from the sheer terror of being watched by so many people made my nerves fray. When I went to the spelling bee, I had unusual courage. I bombed. I was the third one out. The word that was the nail in my coffin was one that my mom gave me a pneumonic device to remember. It was wrong though, so I had memorized it wrong. I wasn’t mad at my mom. I was mad at myself for having been so bold, brave and confident. Never again, I vowed, would I ever be so sure of myself.

If you ever feel like putting yourself on the line, make sure you go full balls out and see it through, or have the wills or skills to do it in the first place. Otherwise, it’s gonna hurt. Have you ever seen a tattoo where the person chickened out half way through?

Agenda 360, the Cincinnati-area initiative to catalyze regional growth, has announced a goal of creating 200,000 net new jobs in the next 10 years.  A description, and a link to Agenda 360, are at

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20091127/EDIT03/911290311/1023/What+will+it+take

Obviously everyone is scared about jobs right now, and I am already hearing grumblings that this isn’t possible.  But that misses the point of what an initiative like this is really about.  It goes beyond a number, and more importantly here, it goes to the core of one of the necessities of a Wise Economy: bravery.

The current vogue term is BHAG — Big Hairy Audacious Goals — and that’s a term that’s been tossed about a lot within Agenda 360.   The value of a BHAG  is motivational  — since no one agency can do it alone, the 200,000 net new jobs BHAG is  directed at engaging the broad cross section of people, agencies, businesses etc. who do have some influence over the economy of the region.   Most economic development needs, and almost all effective economic development initiatives, are broader than any one agency or government – no Chamber or  agency can do it alone.  If we had that kind of Hercules, who could just do it all for us, it would have been done already.

By setting a small number of BHAGs, and getting a broad cross section of organizations, etc to buy into it deeply, Agenda 360’s expectation is that (1) efforts will be coordinated across a broad cross section of actors around reaching those goals, and (2) all those actors will be energized around meeting those goals — it’s not just business as usual,  plugging along in each entity’s silo and failing to change the region.

If we believe that an extensive change  needs to happen. we aren’t going to get that change unless we exert the fundamental bravery to do the work necessary to try to make it happen.  Even if the BHAGs aren’t perfectly met, the concerted act of trying to get there will certainly lead to big improvements.   I had a client in a very conservative town who once said something very wise:

“We’ve got to reach for the sun, the moon and the stars.   If we only get the sun and the moon and we don’t get the stars, we’ll still be better off than we are now.”

That’s still one of my favorite quotes.

So if you set a Big Hairy Audacious Goal, and you don’t hit the number, but the needle makes a big swing in that direction, what have you lost?  Why not set the BHAG, be brave and work to make it happen?

Something else big, hairy and audacious. Courtesy of www.thebathtub.net

(Re-posted from September 20)

My time spent in Jerusalem over the weekend was just lovely. Always much fun, much comfort, much laughter. And excellent food. My good friend and usual J-lem hostess, the Queen, is an exceptionally good cook. Three kinds of chicken, a ridiculous lot of veggie dishes, and a very special very fresh spinach and shitake mushroom soup that had some gorgeous little slices of Jerusalem artichoke in it.

As we drank and laughed and smoked into the night, someone came up with the phrase, “the year of being brave…” How right a motivation is that. How right. Instead of focusing on overcoming fears and getting through the tough days, how much better would it be to concentrate on being brave. Everything from the huge stack of dirty dishes, to the next huge career move, to confronting my family, to forging forward into the industry of love (that be “dating”…something that just popped into my head). Even though getting through or getting by are difficult enough, if I can see it from the perspective of tasks that require immense bravery, why, that would be something to be proud of!

So, this year, I will continue to be brave. Every day. My immediate goals? Not to stress out over work and money, while still acting and chugging along responsibly in those areas. And the biggie – I need quite desperately, to enjoy myself. And with my last-minute, crazy brained trip to France this coming Friday, I have the perfect opportunity. My instinct will be to fret about all the work I’m not doing, and how much money is going down the drain. Sure, I’ll have a decent time overall, but the act of releasing tension, of sitting back and doing nothing and allowing that to be not only OK, but the complete goal of it, is the absolute key.

I’m imagining myself dressing up and looking absolutely fabulous, in some svelte outfit, with a bright colored scarf, wearing my sunglasses, and just sitting at an outdoor cafe in a medieval square. Yes. I’m sitting, basking in the autumn sun, sipping a strong coffee (or something far stronger), nibbling a croissant, and merely in that act, becoming the goddess of French courtyard cafes the world over. I must pull out my black leather fuck me Nazi boots. I always feel like a goddess in those. Yes. France will be divine. Wine, cheese, croissants, sun, high heeled boots, a scarf, and sunglasses. Life is beautiful. Indeed it can be. All it takes is some gumption. And butter.