Always in homeopathy, you are matching what the person is experiencing to a homeopathic remedy that is similar. In order to do that, especially with a baby, observation of how the baby is responding to things, what is different in their temperament and their mood compared to their usually temperament, what makes them better or worse, and taking into consideration the mother’s diet and mood, especially if the baby is being breastfed.

Colic can be experienced by an adult too. That may be indigestion. So again it is by observation, and the adult can tell you verbally.

Someone needing Nux vomica would be experiencing:

• Pain cramping, griping, pressing, sore, bruised.
• Better: for passing a stool, for hot drinks, for warmth while in bed, for passing wind.
• Worse: after eating, from coughing, in the morning, during a fever, from wearing tight clothing, when tired, or eating too much or the wrong types of food.
• Pains coming on after overindulging with food or eating stimulating types of food. Their may be nausea or indigestion.
• Breastfeed babies – mothers eating too spicy foods or drinking too much coffee, tea or coke.
• Chilly, and become irritable when gets chilled.
• Violently angry, impatient, irritable, quarrelsome, nervous, excitable, angry when consoled.
• Constipation alternating with diarrhea.
• Constant desire to pass stool, but ineffectual (that is why they are better when passing a stool)
• Stools are hard, large.
• Shocked, let down, disappointed.
• Wants to feel better quickly. Making an intense effort to get comfort NOW.

And always, if this continues it would be good to see your physician or a homeopath.

The sick was pretty brutal on Thursday. I didn’t realise until today that I didn’t take any pictures and I was horrified. I screwed up my 365 challenge! But then it hit me, oh wait, I did take ONE!

I lean a safety gate at the bottom of the stairs, so O can still get past it to go pee (he doesn’t tell us, he just goes – amazing kid), but it blocks A from going up (solely because she can’t come back down yet)… until yesterday. She learned to knock it and use it as a ramp to get up and over it. Insane little girl.

Turned out my sick was mastitis. I’m glad I managed to piece it together. I got to the clinic last night, sent B to the late night pharmacy for the T3s and antibiotics, and I am feeling MUCH better right now. Not like death, anyway. That was brutal. Now I just have to make sure to get lots of yogurt and probiotics in so I don’t end up with thrush.

Anyway, glad I didn’t screw up my 365 challenge (thanks for being insane, Ms. A), but I think mastitis would have been a pretty good excuse.

Pregnant and lactating moms benefit from exercise!  Discuss with your healthcare provider your specific situation and health. If you are new to exercise, take it slow and build up.  It is important for all of us to exercise for physical health and emotional wellness and you can decide how that can be customized for your situation.  Exercise helps uplift anyone’s mood but is especially vital for women with post partum blues to exercise on a regular basis. It helps reenergize us all.

One of the things I was always a bit anxious about when my little ones were very small was managing breastfeeding or pumping with taking care of myself and taking time for exercise. It can be challenging to adapt to a new child and new routine, which also corresponds to a gym class and daycare schedule. It can be daunting to consider when we are already feeling so tired! Sometimes it takes creative calendars and agendas to be sure my husband is home for our children so I can get in some space for it. It is very important time for nurturing our body when we are nurturing our children! I have found that as my A, S & Z get older, I am able to both find new flexibility and make sure this is done more often.  I don’t beat myself up if I don’t but I sure feel better when I do.

Breastfeeding and pumping is an activity of daily living for this period in your life.  Having an active lifestyle doesn’t mean having to give up breastfeeding and breastfeeding should not mean having to give up an active lifestyle.

It is vital for local fitness centers, pools and gyms to have breastfeeding friendly resources for families.  Breastfeeding is the healthiest feeding method for mom and baby (your business is health after all).  Breastfeeding is legal and encouraged by both federal and state laws in the United States of America and most places around the globe.  New families have a lot to stress and exercise helps reduce stress.  Having a family friendly gym or pool can help you increase your membership and word of mouth will soon spread about the places that are complimentary to family lifestyle as well as those that don’t.

A great many workouts can be tailored to pregnant or new mom fitness challenges and can be a positive way to outreach in the community and for moms to make friends as well.  If baby is welcome in the exercise class, moms can take care of their little ones right on the spot with breastfeeding or bottle-feeding on cue.  A great option for very new moms is to have parent/baby classes combined or parent/toddler exercise that incorporates the littlest people in the room.  Often, when a baby is very small, they can sit in a little carrier on the side of the room and be taken care of by the watchful and attentive eye of their parent nearby.

The childcare areas can also encourage moms to come and feed their baby as needed by providing comfortable chairs and supportive staff in the gyms. It is important that if you have pumping moms or employees of the center, that they are given a space to pump that has access to a sink and is not a bathroom.  Mothers and babies should never be asked to go to a bathroom to eat. If the center is for adults and children and one child is at swim or yoga class for example, the mother should never be asked to cover-up or to go to a separate location for breastfeeding her little one.   

Gym owners and managers must take responsibility for making sure their gym or pool employees (trainers, front desk, lifeguards, ALL employees) are trained on the federal and local laws and are always supporting breastfeeding members.  It is harassment to ask a mom to stop breastfeeding her baby. Breastfeeding is not the same as having other food in locations where food is not allowed.  Some mothers may ask for a private space to breastfeed but they are legally allowed to breastfeed in public and it is not considered indecent exposure.

EXERCISING AND LACTATION

La Leche League International: Exercise and Breastfeeding

http://www.llli.org/nb/nbexercise.html

San Diego Breastfeeding Center, LLC :  Breastfeeding and Exercise – What you need to know

http://sdbfc.com/blog/2013/3/19/breastfeeding-and-exercise-what-you-need-to-know.html

KellyMom: Exercise and Breastfeeding

http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/lifestyle/mom-exercise/

LEGAL INFORMATION

Breastfeeding Law (USA – Federal and State Laws)

http://breastfeedinglaw.com/

Breastfeeding Legislation in the United States: A General Overview and Implications for Helping Mothers

https://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvjunjul05p51.html

HARRASSMENT INFORMATION

Nursing in Public Hotline 855-NIP-FREE

http://www.bestforbabes.org/nursing-in-public-hotline-855-nip-free

United States Breastfeeding Committee: Find a State/Territorial/Tribal Breastfeeding Coalition:

http://www.usbreastfeeding.org/Coalitions/CoalitionsDirectory/tabid/74/Default.aspx

What to Do if You’re Harassed While Nursing in Public

http://www.bestforbabes.org/take-action/what-to-do-if-youre-harassed-while-nursing-in-public

NURSING IN PUBLIC

Tips for Breastfeeding in Public – with Confidence!

http://nativemothering.com/2013/04/10-tips-for-breastfeeding-in-public-with-confidence/

Nursing in Public

http://www.nursinginpublic.com/

La Leche League International: Breastfeeding in Public http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbpublic.html

FITNESS CENTER MANAGMENT

Family Friendly Business Initiative

http://www.familyfriendlybusinessinitiative.com/

Business Case for Breastfeeding

http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/government-in-action/business-case-for-breastfeeding/

Break Time for Nursing Mothers (pumping provisions)

http://www.dol.gov/whd/nursingmothers/

What is skin to skin?

Skin to skin is the uninterrupted time, after birth, where baby is placed vertically on the moms chest area, with nothing more, than maybe a nappy, for maximum contact, and nerve stimulation for at least sixty minutes and thereafter as long as needed. The explicit 60 (or even longer) minutes, is needed for the cascade of hormones, to receive the full benefits of skin to skin, as well as the nine instinctive stages of every newborn to be completed

Kangaroo care was initially develop to fulfil a need for the premature babies, interestingly there are now over 160 research studies of the benefits for skin to skin on healthy full term newborns too. UNICEF, healthy newborn and WHO, are now prescribing, skin to skin as an essential element of care, to save and promote the lives of newborn babies.

Skin to skin have various benefits and the research studies shown that bonding is only one of the benefits. Other benefits are stabilizing, of breathing, weight gain, thermo synergism, less crying, less colic, and a better immune system

Skin to skin don’t need to be done by biological moms only, dads can partake in this ritual too as it will still benefit the baby. Human to human touch triggers nerve stimulation on the chest. It also helps the baby to relax and don’t mess or stress the baby so that baby gets to the despair state soon after birth as he would be in the incubator all on his own

Lots of people reckon, skin to skin is only beneficial in bed, and in the first few hours, research has shown, skin to skin can be done in any position and any place and is beneficial at least up to twelve weeks after birth of the baby. Siblings and grandparents can also do skin to skin with the parents’ permission though.

Is skin to skin only for breastfeed babies ….no its for all newborn babies, babies born normally, in water, with instruments, with a c-section, breast and bottle babies because the hormonal cascade happens with skin to skin and not with the breastfeeding.

Babies kept skin to skin, keep their heat and it elicit baby behaviour like, rooting and searching for breast, staying calm, breath more naturally, maintaining body temperature and blood sugars.

Dr Nils Bergman say the baby need to stay in his habitat which is close to its mother to indeed feel, see , hear, taste and smell, the mommy and mommy in return her baby. No beanies on the head, mittens on the hands, and swaddling are part of skin to skin The same hormonal cascade is triggered in the mommy, helping her to recover faster, stress less, bond better, increase milk production and lower her chances of having post natal depression.

We (well, I, for the most part) baby wear. We plan on breastfeeding exclusively for the first year. We co-sleep. Why do we do these things? Because. they. work.

I discovered baby-wearing in N.’s first few weeks. He wouldn’t stop crying unless I held him. I couldn’t eat more than once a day because he wanted to be held constantly. Enter the Moby and Maya Wrap(s). It became a normal sight to see me walking with N. in his wrap while I ate a bowl of oatmeal or a slice a pizza. He didn’t cry, and I could finally eat again.

My breastfeeding journey wasn’t an easy one, but it’s been worth it. The first 6 weeks were the worst part. Every nursing session meant that I would be curling my toes in pain, gritting my teeth, and both of us crying. I had cracked and sore nipples because of early latch problems. They didn’t heal until after R. and I decided to take a night away for ourselves. When we came back the next day, I picked N. up and began preparing for another usual painful nursing session. When he latched, however, there was no pain. I felt my milk let down for the first time in my left breast. This time, I cried because I was overjoyed. N. is now over 6 months old (WHAT?!), and breastfeeding is going wonderfully.

Co-sleeping came rather late to us. I still remember when I first put up our Pack-N-Play that had a bassinet feature. I thought, “This is going to be great for night feedings.”
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
It took us 2 months to finally bring N. to bed with us. R. and I were both exhausted. We would take baby shifts. This would change with R.’s work schedule. He would take N. into the living room and let me sleep for a few hours. He would bring him back, and I would feed N. and start my shift. Sleep was scarce. It was a valuable resource and a luxury we craved. After my breastfeeding issues were finally resolved, I tried to nurse N. lying down. We napped together for 3 hours that day. N. has slept with us in our bed ever since. We bought a guardrail for our queen-size bed. N. sleeps in between the guard rail and me. R. sleeps on my other side. We share a bed, and it has made parenting so much easier.

I’ve read the books. I’ve watched the videos. I’ve downloaded the iPhone apps. What have I learned, and what should other parents or soon-to-be parents learn? Parenting is not and never will have a rule book or manual. We must learn that we grow just as much as our children do. Parenting is never static. It is always evolving to either the next crisis (read: baby bumps head on hardwood floor) or wonderful moment (i.e. that first smile directed at you and only you).

To many more smiles and bumps,
Amber.

There are soooo many benefits for both mommy and baby! The only harm is the lack of support, especially from other women around us! As women we NEED to lift each other up and support each other.

Lord, I pray for strength to stand up for what I know is right and best for my child. I pray that other woman can feel the comfort and support to do the same. I pray that I am a woman that supports others instead of criticising them. Thank you for giving me motherly instincts. Thank you for all of your blessings. Amen

1) Hair Loss

I know, from reading various forums online and from participating in various online mommy’s groups, that this is a totally normal response to the hormonal changes that happen after having a baby, but the amount of hair I lose on a daily basis is unbelievable.  It’s gotten to a point where I dread brushing my hair because I know that it will look like I have killed a small animal with the amount of hair that I lose each time.  I almost avoid washing my hair when I take a shower, too, since I know that the drain will be filled with hair when I step out of the shower.  I’ve always had very thick, curly hair and I’ve always really liked my hair but since having a baby, my hair is gross.  Just gross.  And it makes me not feel very pretty…

Luckily, I have an appointment on June 7th (3 weeks from today!) to get a haircut, and the woman who’s cutting my hair is a mom herself, so she will be able to hopefully give me some pointers for things I can do, and ways I can wear my hair that will not make me feel like my hair is quite so disgusting.

2) Periods

I always knew that breastfeeding is supposed to delay the return of your menstrual cycle after having a baby but I never realized that it could go on as long as it does… my last period started on January 17th, 2012, 16 months ago!  If I continue to breastfeed Julia, and she continues to like nursing as much as she does, it could, theoretically be another year before my period comes back.  This is lovely!

When is a baby bottle more than just a baby bottle? Millions of new moms who choose formula-feeding will tell you the answer is: whenever other women are watching you use it.

Although the choice to breastfeed, or not, has been analyzed from more angles than Megan Fox’s face, the symbolic meaning attached to infant-feeding decisions has been largely overlooked. A new study rectifies that by investigating the ways in which related consumer products – everything from breast pumps to cans of formula – help first-time moms construct a particular image of themselves as parents.

“It’s more than just the act of breastfeeding or formula-feeding; it’s about the various needs that are being met, aside from the inherent need of the baby being fed,” said Sara Afflerback, the Journal of Consumer Culture study’s lead author. “Women are negotiating their self-image as mothers through infant feeding choices.”

She notes, for example, that women who formula-feed their babies might compensate for the associated cultural taboos by buying an organic blend, which they perceive as healthier, or opting for the brand of formula used by hospital staff in order to feel like “good mothers.”

Similarly, women who identify with attachment parenting might doggedly pursue breastfeeding in the face of latching challenges because they see the practice as compliant with the image they have of themselves as caregivers.

“These aren’t necessarily inherent needs but rather needs that mothers are constructing for themselves or their child because of interactions with other mothers and authorities in this area,” explained Afflerback, who wrote the study in conjunction with professors at the University of Central Florida.

Among first-time moms who breastfed, formula-fed, or used a combination of the two, Afflerback found the motivations for buying related products were the same: baby-oriented and mother-oriented.

In terms of baby-oriented consumerism, women acted based on what they felt was best for their child in terms of comfort, taste, development and health. In terms of mother-oriented consumerism, products were chosen because they met a personal desire for knowledge or control, compliance with the experts, convenience, frugality, relationships and self-image.

For example, a mother might choose to breastfeed because she feels it’s best for her child’s health but also because it’s a free source of nourishment that facilitates bonding with baby. Conversely, a mother who chooses to formula-feed might do so because her baby gains more weight while on it, as well as because of its perceived convenience.

Afflerback also found that certain developmental phases were seen by mothers as both facilitated and reflected by certain consumer items. That is, a youngster can only be at “the sippy-cup stage” in a society in which sippy cups are readily available.

Ultimately, Afflerback concludes that purchases and decisions around infant feeding help signal the ways in which mothers are navigating “risk society” – characterized by concerns about food safety and vulnerability – as well as the zeitgeist of “intensive mothering,” wherein women feel the sole burden of responsibility for their child’s well-being.

mharris(at)postmedia.com

Twitter.com/popcultini

In Canada, we still have the expectation that all mothers should breastfeed. However, it is stigmatized whenever a woman does it in public. I worked as a lifeguard at a public pool and since it is legal in Ontario for a woman to be topless (regardless of if she is breastfeeding), we could not ask a woman to not breastfeed. But, if another customer complains about it, then we were instructed to tell the breastfeeding mother that she was making others uncomfortable. I have heard similar stories of this happening in many public areas.

So while society expects women to breastfeed, women are shamed for doing it publicly. They are expected to breastfeed – but only in private or with a scarf or blanket covering their breast.

Why does this stigma exist?

Please read the rest of this post, originally published on the International Women’s Initiative Survivors’ Blog. 

2. The smaller the baby, the bigger the diaper bag. For such a tiny thing, they really do require a lot. Between the extra burp cloths, extra outfits, at least 10 diapers, 3 bottles, pacifiers, toys, and blankets, you might as well just pack it all in a rolling suitcase.

3. Bye-Bye Modesty. Once you’ve entered motherhood, at least 20 different medical professionals (and unsuspecting family members) have seen your junk. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. The greatest part of all of this is being able to openly talk about it with other moms because we all have been there and all have funny stories to share.

4. You might poop on the table. Whoops! So many moms that I have talked to share this story. It’s natural, no worries. It is just your body preparing for the baby to come. YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO DO THIS! I’m sure if I didn’t have a c-section, I would have been a member of this party too.

5. The first night home is the hardest. Our first night home with Jacob was a complete nightmare. I’m glad two years later we can laugh at ourselves for being so clueless. That night we didn’t get ANY sleep and Jacob cried for hours it seemed like. I remember bawling right along with Jacob. I felt like such a terrible mother because I couldn’t make Jacob happy. IT GETS EASIER! …kinda

6. Phantom Kicks. You will still feel “baby kicks” even after you’ve had your baby. What you are really feeling is your uterus contracting and gas.

7. You want granny panties! I never thought granny panties were ever appealing until I had a baby. Especially after having a c-section, granny panties will seriously be your best friend. All of the low rise underwear will sit right on your incision and thatis super uncomfortable.

8. You might lose some friends. I hate to say this, but unfortunately its true. A lot of your friendships change once your bundle of joy arrives especially, if your friend doesn’t have any kids. I remember after I had Jacob, it was hard for me to relate to my friends that didn’t have kids. It was also hard for them to relate to me, not knowing what it’s like to have your world completely turned upside down.

9. Nothing will go as planned. Your house will be messy. You will live in yoga pants and t-shirts. You will be tired. It’s a special occasion when your hair is down and your makeup is on. Your boobs will hurt. Your child will determine your schedule. Its a good night if you get 3+ hours of uninterrupted sleep.

10. Accept help when it’s offered. Raising a child really does take a village. I give props to every mom who does motherhood on her own because I know I wouldn’t have survived without my husband, parents, and in-laws. You are NOT a bad and selfish mom for wanting a couple hours to yourself. In fact, I highly recommend it. Go to the gym, watch a movie, get a mani/pedi, or just take a nap. You NEED time for yourself!

What were some things that you had to learn the hard way after you became a mother?

I am back at work now doing what I love with a great school, and Sam is interviewing for a great position today, so we are back on track and feeling much better. But I don’t regret accepting help when I needed it, and I still think about the people I met while frequenting the WIC and DHS (Department of Human Services) offices in my community.

Now, as a little background, Sam and I attended biodynamic childbirth classes through a private birthing center. We gave birth in the hospital due to complications with a previous pregnancy, but we wanted the warm and natural birth centered classes to bring a little home birth flavor to our hospital room. The things we learned in this class (taught by the fabulous proprietor of Family In Bloom) enabled us to make the best of what was a pretty scary situation (more on my birth story here) by believing in our innate sense of what was right for us and our baby. We felt empowered – even as first time parents – to stand up to doctors and nurses and even my mother to do what was right for us.

We have carried this conviction with us through our first 4 months of raising Avery, leading us on the path to a more simple, natural way of providing for our little one.

Naively, I was shocked to hear that most lower income parents in my community had had VERY different experiences from ours. Their hospital birthing classes did little more than tell them when to ask for their epidural, and as a result they felt helpless and powerless during their births, often getting bullied into a host of interventions that they weren’t even sure they wanted.

Many of these new mothers were clueless about co-sleeping, cloth diapering, babywearing, and so many of the other tenants of attachment parenting that had made the early parts of my life with Avery so blissful. The more I heard about the experiences these women had had, the more upset I became about the lack of knowledge out there for low income families. The final straw was when a woman approached me at the WIC office and asked me what my linen baby wrap was. She had never heard of babywearing, and was excited and amazed when I showed her the simple front carry that Avery was comfortably sleeping in. “It looks so easy!” she exclaimed as her baby wailed in his carseat on the floor.

The basics of attachment parenting are a throwback to the primitive, nomadic stages of human history. Women had natural births because there were no such thing as narcotic interventions, women gave birth in water because it was the only pain relief available to them, women clothed their babies in natural fibers because there was nothing else but what they (along with their communities) had made from the materials around them, women wore their babies because there were no strollers or carseats or baby swings and they had housework (and sometimes more arduous work) to get done.

To me, natural and attachment parenting is a way of getting back to our roots and back to a time when our babies were the center of our lives and communities. Of recalling a more basic, simple era of human existence when we had no choice but to care for our children well. Why, then, has the knowledge of how to do these things been relegated to an elite group of wealthy families that can pay for it?

Why are we paying hundreds of dollars to gain knowledge that was once passed through generations, from grandmother to mother to daughter? Why are we paying three times as much money for clothing and toys and bedding made of natural fibers?

It’s just the way the world works, I guess. We accept it because we don’t have any other options, and because we want the best for our babies no matter the cost. People know that, and they exploit it, and it’s sad.

I can’t change the world all by myself, but I’m tired of watching people be taken advantage of, so I’ve decided to do my own little something about it.

Through this blog and my work over at Parents Space I’ve made some great connections with wonderful people working to show families how to live a healthy lifestyle without going broke. I have benefited so much from the tips and tricks and tutorials and giveaways I have found in this online community. I want to do for my community what all of you have done for me.

Starting hopefully midsummer I’m going to be offering a series of free classes to my community showcasing attachment and natural parenting concepts and skills. My first class will be a babywearing basics class, showing new parents how to wear their babies with confidence. I have already sent out feelers to a few great businesses to get materials donated to keep the cost down, and I have been amazed and overwhelmed with the generosity within this community.

If the babywearing class goes well, I will offer it once a month. I will advertise – not in the boutiquey baby stores where an organic cotton onesie costs 22 dollars, but in the DHS and WIC offices, at the plasma donation centers, at the places where people have been overlooked and robbed of the opportunity to learn to care for their babies in a natural and simple way.

I am thinking down the line of offering other free classes and workshops as well, how to safely co-sleep, maybe some workshops on clothing and toy making.

If you have a great idea for a class or know someone with an awesome product they might want to donate please contact me through the comments here or by email at babydontyoucryblog@gmail.com.

If you are interested in teaching a class in your area get in touch with me as well, wouldn’t it be great to have a network of people teaching free classes to those who want the knowledge but can’t afford it? Maybe down the line we could make it a non-profit so the donations could be tax deductible?

So many ideas, there’s no limit to the good we can do. Spread the word, let’s take back natural parenting and give it to the people who need it the most.

If the mother wishes to exclusively breastfeed their baby, the mom should mentally and physically prepared. Banyakkan membaca apa yg boleh membantu nak banyakkan susu. For direct feeding mom like me memang takde masalah sebab the suckling will somehow trigger the milk production more than pumping motion. Tapi mcm working mom, they have to consistently pumping their milk every two hours, even before they end their confinement they should at least provide a month ahead breast milk supply to be left to their baby when they were sent to the babysitter. Working mom memang should decide what is best for the baby and will not be a burden to the mom herself.

Whatever method you choose just pit your child as priority. Feeding a baby is a mom’s choice, just to ensure the baby healthy and strong!

I was thinking about this when I was asked again, how long I plan to breastfeed little Rose. I replied that I had no idea, I didn’t have a preconceived notion of how long I should or wanted to and we haven’t had any issues with it (aside from her not taking a bottle, which is rather significant). So we’ve just been bumbling along with our ‘mommy-on-demand’ approach and even with me back at work, I can pop downstairs to give her a meal or a snack when our magical nanny thinks she is ready. So far so good.

However, with Rose’s five month birthday around the corner and seeing some of her little friends already venturing into eating solid food, I wondered why I was feeling resistant to giving her solid food. While I do think waiting until she is 6 months is a good fit for us (as opposed to 4 months), I don’t feel quite read about giving her food. It isn’t because of the mess, or the cooking or that I’m worried about her digestion. I think it is more selfish than that. I think it is just my sensitive mommy feelings of not wanting to have this wonderful tie to my baby that is 100% pure. She has never eaten anything but breast milk and has never eaten from anyone other than me. I’ve witnessed every little swallow and watched her during each drowsy post-meal heavy blink. Of course part of being a mom is letting that dependence slacken. Yet while I want to be able to be gone longer than 3 hours, part of me will mourn it too.

I’m sure lots of moms go through this but I found it funny when I stumbled upon this emotion. My husband and I are foodies, we love to cook, we have a sizable veggie garden and we even have a peach tree in our yard that will shortly produce one of Rose’s first fruits. I know the faces babies make when they eat are comical and exposing Rose to new things will always be a favorite activity. But I think that will mark a big step for the two of us, and our special little bond that we’ve enjoyed for her entire life.

I suppose it will be just one of the many times I feel her growing from me, after such a wonderfully pure beginning of growing within me. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to enjoy her dining independence, but first I’ll enjoy a few more weeks of our special little bond…

I didn’t pump until we got home. I wasn’t uncomfortable or engorged and the milk actually was flowing. By our third day home she was on half formula and half breast milk. I had been pumping every 3 hours around the clock, even if she was asleep. By day 7 she was on breast milk only. I was so proud of myself.

Then sleep deprivation hit. Was it worth it? Could I keep it up? Then I looked at my sweet baby. Yes. She. Was. Worth. It.

I made the commitment to her then and there. No matter what it took I would pump for her. I knew she couldn’t get the milk out. In my mind, I created the scenario where in order for her to survive I had to get the milk out of me and into her. There was no other option. If I didn’t pump she would have no food and she would die. I accepted my relationship with my pump. It was my friend, her lifeline. I never felt shackled by it or resented it. I loved that pump. I didn’t resent pumping every 3 hours. I wanted to. I needed to. I did it for her and I did it willingly. Lovingly.

Family and friends questioned my dedication. “Aren’t you tired of pumping?” How could I ever tire of giving Isa the perfect milk for her? What kind of mother would I be if I stopped pumping because it interfered with my life?

I had supply drops. Seeking the advise of wise mothers I was able to use tricks to get it back up. I used donor milk from loving generous mothers. I struggled. Yes it was hard, but SHE not it was worth it.

I exclusively pumped for Isa for 13 months. Looking back it seemed to pass so quickly. I can not put into words how exciting it feels to have accomplished such a thing for her. How I sacrificed so many things, with a loving heart, for her. Sleep, foods, time, leaving the house, did I mention sleep? I have no regrets. No ill feelings toward that wonderful pump. In fact. I still have it. And can’t bring myself to get rid of it.

I don’t think I could have lasted 13 months feeling chained to the pump. How can you do something and not love it? Changing my outlook on it is what saved me. And Isa.

A pregnant woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Pregnancy preparedness: Things you’ll want to do before you get knocked up – in no particular order.

1.  Start telling strangers in line at the grocery store and strangers you’re connected with on social media that you are pregnant and that you are  planning to formula feed.  Take notes when they give you loads of valuable advice about infant feeding.

2.  Stare at your naked self in the mirror and pinch the flabbiest part of your belly.  Sneer at it in disgust. Then, try to imagine that your flabby belly will never again be this toned.  Pat your (soon to be thought of as toned) flab and tell it you’ll miss it.

3.  Google childbirth worst-case scenarios.  Develop extreme anxiety.  PANIC.

4.  Stock up on your favorite seasonal treats, since you don’t know what will be available when you crave it most.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT eat your Thin Mints.  You will need them later.  TRUST ME. Scavange boxes from your friends and family if you can.

5.  Drink copious amounts of vino.  You’re really gonna miss this stuff.

6.  Attend a natural childbirthing class and ask questions like, “What is the herbal equivalent to an epidural?” and, “How many six packs do I need to drink to help my milk come in?”

7.  Keep a box of tissues in your purse at all times.  When you want to be pregnant, everyone else around you will become pregnant. Teenagers, nuns, your eccentric uncle.  EVERYONE.

8.  Go to yoga.  You’ll need the core strength to sustain a healthy pregnancy, delivery, and recovery.  You’ll need the breathing exercises to offset the breast-feeding advice, childbirth horror stories and immaculate conceptions going on all around you.

9.  Kegels.  Yes, you need to do them.  Start ‘em now.  Do them in the car, do them at work, do them when you empty the dishwasher. You’d better get used to multi-tasking.

10.  Drink more wine.  Relish it.

11.  Research baby products and read each and every review.  Buy fifteen books reviewing the products and then buy three more books reviewing the reviews. Create an elaborate wish list.  Go register for products and get so annoyed with the process that you just scan the first two items on each shelf. (*Note – those choices will work out just fine).  Pass along books along to the nearest pregnant sap.

12.  Sex it up.  If you’re struggling with conception, sex will quickly turn into a chore you have to complete in between laundry and online banking.  Once you get pregnant, your husband will worry about poking the baby.  Right after having the baby, you’ll worry about breaking your pelvis.  When the baby is older, you’ll both choose sleep over sex.  It’ll be a couple years before you’re both in the mood (and that’s when you’ll start trying for your next baby).

13.  Read up on the importance of infant schedules and sleep training.  Try to do 100 pull ups, walk across hot coals, and hold your breath for 4 minutes under water.  These three tasks will better prepare you for the inevitable realization that carefully planned schedules and techniques won’t work out for you in any way, shape or form.

14.  Start slathering on the cocoa butter.  If it doesn’t prevent stretch marks, it’ll at least smell like coconuts and make you think of the beach.  Once you’re pregnant, keep using it but know that you’ll feel less like a Hawaiian Tropics girl and more like a beached whale.

15.  Start spending time with other people’s kids.  Their whining, incessant chatter, tantrum throwing and disgusting drooling will prepare you for what is to come.  Let me remind you that evolution has programmed us to love our own so much more than our neighbor’s.  Don’t be afraid, your own will be amazing.  A science refresher is always valuable.

16.  Relax.  Because we all know that unlike ovulation, balanced hormones or healthy uterine linings, this is the true key to conceiving.

Any other advice for those who want to be parents?

While we’re gushing and fawning, and grinning away as though our life depended on it, we’re also asking ourselves the question, why? Why despite my university education has my salary flat-lined at the average income mark? Why is my bottom, or rather its owner, so resistant to Pilates? Why, instead of a fairytale romance, did I have to endure years of heartache before finally negotiating my way into an engagement? Why isn’t my life as perfect as I’d hoped it would be?

Then at the end of such self-indulgent neurosis, I realise I’m sounding like a spoilt brat. I should be grateful for what I have. I should do affirmations. Count blessings. Be thankful. There’s always someone worse off than I am. Many, in fact.

However, we live in a society driven by aspiration. We’ve been conditioned to strive, to compete, to compare. We want better, the best. And we’re told we deserve it.

So when one of our peers triumphs, in a seemingly easy and effortless fashion, it’s understandable we’re a bit peeved.

When I was young, proud and unwilling to accept defeat, I worked from the theory that there was some kind of divine calibrator of success. That, for example, a girl far prettier than me may somehow lack the attributes with which I had been blessed.

‘Yeah, who cares if she’s a size 6, I’m a mathematical genius.’

If I read an intelligent well-articulated book by a female professor, I’d rationalise that she was a tweed-clad spinster who made jam. Then, when I flipped the sleeve to see a gorgeous young woman whose bio referenced a country house, four sandy haired children and an adoring husband, I’d be stumped. Where was my get-out clause then?

Even now, I still harbour an extensive list of excuses to explain why I haven’t fulfilled my potential. I have twins. That’s my career excuse nailed. My dodgy knee prohibits any rigorous fitness regime. Bonding time with my husband justifies evenings lost to Prison Break and wine.

However, when I open a magazine to see some perky woman with bouncy hair declaring she has written a best-selling trilogy while breast-feeding triplets, I have no alternative but to accept my failings.

As I’ve grown older and a little more tolerant of my limitations, I’ve realised the question isn’t simply, why are some people better than I am? The real question is why do I care? According to the theory of abundance, success isn’t a finite resource. Another person can’t steal our odds. In fact, it was the accomplishments of others that afforded us the possibilities we have today.

So now, when faced with a superior being, one who appears desperate to share their joy with me, joy at accomplishing something I have failed to do. I summon my internal mantra and allow a beaming smile to sweep across my face. For, I am secure enough in the knowledge that their strengths in no way contribute to my weaknesses.

And besides, just because they’re super-successful doesn’t mean they’re happy, right?

I was lucky enough to be invited to their celebratory coffee morning to launch their DVD which I urge you to watch here on YouTube.  It’s less than 20 minutes long and split into four sections and explains far better than I can the importance of breast milk in the hope that more neonatal units in the UK will use donated breast milk.

I’m really proud to have such excellent facilities on my doorstep here in Chester.  Not only do we have one of the most productive milk banks in the country but our hospital also holds Unicef’s Baby Friendly status.  Our neonatal unit has embraced the use of donor breast milk and this is a very important step for babies being cared for there…

Why is donor breast milk neccessary?

When you give birth to an ill and/or premature baby you are about as stressed as you can be.  It is a very daunting time for parents and the stress is enough to hinder Mum’s milk production in the short-term.  Mum could also be ill herself after birth and needs time to recover before starting to think about her own milk supply.

When donor breast milk is available the immediate pressure is taken off Mum to produce milk which in turn helps with the stress and helps her milk supply.

Why not use formula instead of breast milk?

A real risk for premature babies is of developing Necrotising Enterocolitis (NEC).  This is essentially an infection which can kill areas of the gut and is treated by antibiotics and also surgery.

Exclusively formula-fed infants were 6 to 10 times more likely to develop NEC than those who received breastmilk. Although NEC is rare in babies over 30 weeks gestation, it was 20 times more common if the baby had received no breastmilk.

Unicef Baby Friendly excerpt from Lucas A & Cole TJ (1990). Breast milk and neonatal necrotising enterocolitis. Lancet 336: 1519-1522

Seven studies were found to comply with the inclusion criteria, although methodological weaknesses were present in all. Six looked at the impact of donor breastmilk on necrotizing entero-colitis (NEC) and the combined evidence from these studies suggests that donor milk reduces the risk of NEC by about 79%.

Unicef: Donor Breast Milk Versus Infant Formula for Preterm Infants

There is a high mortality rate for babies who contract NEC and require surgery and babies who do pull through can suffer long-term complications associated with having parts of their intestine removed or patched up after perforation.

The emotional cost of losing a baby from NEC is huge and not only for the parents and family but it impacts on the staff caring for those babies too.  With donor breast milk having such an impact on the risk of developing NEC in the first place, surely it should be made available to all premature babies?

This Sunday, 19th May, is the first ‘World Day of Human Milk Donation’ and celebrations are taking place across the UK.  Cheshire and North Wales Human Milk Bank will be scaling Snowdon along with members of the North West Blood Bikes Manchester to celebrate this momentous occasion and raise awareness.  Please pop over to Lynda’s sponsorship page to find out more or you could visit UKAMB’s website or facebook page to find your nearest Milk Bank and see if they have anything planned to mark the day.

I’ll be discussing Milk Banks and their importance throughout Breastfeeding Awareness week in June and the fact that it’s not only premature babies who can benefit from donor breast milk.  Contact your nearest Milk Bank if you would like to be considered as a recipient.

Related Articles:

Lactation Matters: “World Day of Human Milk Donation”

Bliss.Org: Amanda Davies CNN Presenter’s Story

Cheshire and North Wales Human Milk Bank: Happy Recipients

Not Even a Bag of Sugar: Milk Banks – Why Use Donated Milk?

A few of my friends had c-section births right before mine, and they all complained about how their supply did not come in until after a few days of their babies’ birth. They talked of “latching issues”, “nipple confusion”, “bottle regimen”, “pumping”, yada yada. When the LO arrived, my motherhood instinct arrived as well.. AND with such major force that breastfeeding not only became my goal, it became my challenge. I swore off the formula and had every single nurse and lactation consultant in my maternity ward help me with proper “latching” and get working on my supply. Sure enough my colostrum arrived along with wincing pain from cracked and bleeding nipples that my daughter delightedly ravaged every hour. With gusto, I accepted the pain as a part of my new motherhood journey and smilingly offered the other breast in peace.

All my bravado came crashing down when my LO lost first 6% of her birth weight by day 3 and 9% by day 4. Of course, being well-read and all that I knew it was normal for most breastfed infants to lose 7-10% of their birth weight and regain it by week 2. But the sheer panic with which my lactation nurse complained of the “seriousness” of the situation (they will not discharge the baby unless she is on track) and to work on increasing my supply by pumping after every feeding, I succumbed to my first nemesis — the breast pump. The pediatric nurse warned they will not discharge my daughter unless I can convince them, I could feed her at least 30 ml (~1 oz.) a feed. That afternoon, I pumped an exact 30 ml and heaven knows my husband and I were so excited we brought the whole hospital floor down to witness the “miracle”! We were then sent home.

When I had my first lactation appointment that week, the amazing Debbie (and I will always refer to her that way), RN weighed my little girl, said she was on a positive trend with the weight gain and that I was to STOP pumping IMMEDIATELY! I was happy that the only equipment she needed was mommy and actually went back home feeling pretty smug. And then, I got home, and my daughter who latched beautifully at my lactation appointment, refused to have anything to do with my breast for two full days. The more I pumped the more engorged I got, the more my boobs hurt and the more latching issues I had.

I called..and called (the amazing) Debbie in sheer desperation, almost in tears, that her plan had gone horribly wrong and that I cannot get out of the cycle of pumping and that my LO will have nothing to do with my breast! Debbie instructed me to keep the pump out of my sight, “the pump is your enemy!” and went on to explain that my problem was that I was too full and possibly smothering my daughter, which is possibly why she was refusing to latch on. She suggested that I use a wet towel to hand express first, and when my breasts were a little less fuller, offer it to her mouth while leaning back a little so too much did not flow into her mouth at once. This little tip saved me from writing off breastfeeding forever.

I do not deny, there are times already in the three short (yet monumental) weeks that I have had her in my life, I have questioned my choice to breastfeed exclusively. After my first pediatric visit two days ago, I gave myself a little break, as our pediatrician assured us, we had a tall baby in our hands and despite her percentile weight, she was beautiful and well-nourished..and whatever we are doing is working really well for her. I now keep formula as back-up plan for when we have to step out and pump as necessary to put my mind and breasts in ease. I cannot also deny how beautiful my daughter looks when she lays latched to my breast in a complete state of mental and physical well-being, and how the image of every tiny part of her body — her fluttering lashes, her little upturned nose, pink cheeks, the softness of her feet, and beautiful long fingers, will forever be etched on my mind.

Back to the beginning. This feeling of dread surrounding functions meant just for women followed me well into adulthood.  Have you ever seen me at a women’s retreat? I didn’t think so.  I hyperventilated on the way to my own bridal shower.  I wish I could explain it better in order for me not to sound like such a jerk, but I hated being surrounded solely by women.  Which is why, when I was in my early twenties and I read Anita Diamant’s “The Red Tent”, I thought it was a brilliant read, eloquently written, but missed the meaning entirely.  Why would women want to all sit together in one room while on their period or just after giving birth? That sounded like a PMS nightmare.  Sincerely.  I just wanted chocolate, a terribly sad film and to be left alone.  Sit around with 15 plus women all feeling the same thing? I’ll pass.

And then, I had Ellie.

Suddenly, The Red Tent had wings.  I was sick when I had El and I was blessed enough that my first entry into the red tent was that one of my dearest and best friends was the doctor who delivered my daughter.  I remember feeling foggy and lost, in pain and unable to see, not even my own daughter’s face. But hearing the assurance in S’s voice throughout the laboring process was like being held.  As God would have it, another of my dearest friends is a doula- I’ve never been one to see the beauty in anything that causes blood or pain, but the way she speaks of the miracle of birth I am almost  tempted to believe her.  She would call nearly every hour for updates.  Her soothing words carried me through each contraction- as soon as you feel another one coming on, you just picture yourself falling backwards into the arms of Jesus. And I did.  And I found myself, even in the state I was in, looking forward to each contraction as I knew it would bring me closer to the end.  I could not have asked for a better labor coach than my husband, not to short change him, certainly.  But there is something entirely different about the act of women caring for one another that I just didn’t see prior to having a baby.

When we were released to go home, I thought it would be the same as always.  I would be grateful for the quiet and the peace that couldn’t be found at the hospital.  But I wasn’t.  I was terrified and frightfully alone.  I could hardly walk, could hardly see, was not allowed to breastfeed for 48 hours after delivery due to the drugs administered to prevent seizure during labor.    I held my child and my heart broke for my inability to feed her, to see her, to know her the way I had hoped.  And then, our mothers swooped in.  And though it was overwhelming at times, it was much more reassuring.  They worked tirelessly to keep our house clean.  They made midnight diaper runs.  They held our screaming offspring so that I could cry in the shower and told me it was normal to do so.  And the women in my life set up their red tent in my driveway.  As much as I avoided it my whole life, I had never dreamt they would move it in my direction.  Or that it would be so welcome.  My friends cooked meals for us- and not just, order a pizza meals- but carefully, gently and purposefully planned out meals surrounding the proper nutrients I and the baby should be getting.  They rubbed my back and neck, prayed over the parts of my body slow to heal. They cooked in my kitchen, read to me because my heart ached that I still could not see the pages.  Gave breastfeeding advice that was helpful and supportive and encouraging.  They held me as I cried with the horror of what I had just lived through, and the fear of what raising a child brings.  They propped themselves on my property, never hovering, never out of reach.   And to my surprise, I was grateful.  I was more than grateful.  I was home.

I’ve recently re-read the red tent, and cried through every chapter.  I am so thankful for the women who joined me then, and continue to meet me in my red tent.  May God be gracious to my daughter and ensure that she realizes much sooner than I the joy and the necessity of sisterhood.