Inkheart (2008)
★ / ★★★★

I had high expectations from this movie because the premise of it was interesting: a man named Mo Folchart (Brendan Fraser) who was a “Silvertongue” had the ability to bring book characters to live simply just by reading about them out loud. He did not always have such an ability (or was he aware of it) so over the years, the disparate characters from the books were taken to the human world–some of them good (Paul Bettany as the fire-wielding Dustfinger and Rafi Gavron as Farid, a sort of Aladdin-like character) and some bad (led by Andy Serkis as Capricorn). One of my biggest problems with this movie was its dialogue. It was so uninspired and it lacked a sense of wonder that movies like the “Harry Potter” and “The Chronicles of Narnia” innately have. Since this was based on a children’s novel by Cornelia Funke, I expected it to be at least entertaining by way of enchancing the audiences’ imagination. Instead, we got this overly long exposition, chaotic action scenes that did not amount to anything, and characters that were not exactly likable or memorable. I usually love watching Helen Mirren’s elegance but I think she was completely miscast as the grandmother who loves books and the indoors more than other people and the outdoors. Her character’s attempt at humor made me feel sort of ashamed because none of them were even slightly amusing. There were many points in the film where I just felt bored and wondered about the technical things. For instance, I thought about the repercussions that would happen in the book if the characters were suddenly taken off the pages. I thought of the “exchange” that had to happen–if one was to be transported into the book, wouldn’t it make more sense if someone comparable would be taken out of the book? There were a plethora of plotholes and by the end of it, I was just tired of being disappointed. Perhaps with a better direction other than Iain Softley, the translation from novel to film would have been better. I suggest not to waste time with this one. Even the kids would be bored out of their minds.

“Inkheart” that odd movie that seeks to inspire kids to read by scaring them away from books. That doesn’t take away from the movie’s high production value, which features European castles, smoke monsters, and enough literary in-jokes to sustain a parent’s interest over the 90 minute running time.

See: Brendan Frasier play someone who can read! Hear: Dame Helen Mirran utter lines like “you pathetic piece of pulp fiction!” Witness: The Guy Who Played Gollum obsess over another seemingly insignificant object!

That object is a rare book called Inkheart, a magical story that quite literally leaps off the pages.

With the success of Harry Potter, I suspect filmmakers are looking for any children’s book series in an attempt to cash in on the next literary craze(?). It must be said though, that just because a young adult book sells well doesn’t mean it’s film adaptation will be anything to faun over (read: Twilight, Narnia).

“Inkhart” is the first in a trilogy of German children’s books where reading plays not only the means to enjoy the source material, but also the source of power in the story. While not a bad film (it succeeds in a brisk pace and a short running time), “Inkheart” raises a point that may be lost on adults but not on clever children: reading leads to trouble.

Brendan Frasier plays a man with a unique power: whatever he reads aloud springs to life. But for everything that appears from a book, something must be replaced. He learns this the hard way when reading the book “Inkheart” to his infant daughter, only to have some of the more seedy characters from the story appear in real life, while his wife gets whisked into the pages. Years later, Frasier and his now-teenaged daughter travel from snowy Bavarian town to snowy Bavarian town trying to find a copy of “Inkheart” so he can read his wife back into being. The only trouble is, the bad guys, lead by Andy Serkis, have their own Reader and are attempting to amass and army of their minions from “Inkheart’s” pages, all the while destroying every copy of the book they can find in case Frasier can thwart them. While it’s laudable that the bad guys work so hard to summon their friends out of the book, if you’re going to conquer the world, wouldn’t it make more sense to read from something like the “Illiad”?

Though a kids movie, “Inkheart” does raise some heavy themes for children. For example, Paul Bettany plays a character called Dustfinger who is summoned from the book. He wants Frasier to read him back in so he can be with his wife. But on discovery that his character dies in the story, Dustfinger weighs the decision to betray his friends to be reunited with his wife, but later to die, or to remain loyal to them, but alive and lonely. While his struggle is contrasted with Frasier’s mission to be reunited with his wife, Dustfinger becomes the most interesting character. When given the choice of free-will, does he continue to act as his character would, or will he make choices that are in his best interest of sel-preservation? I’m reminded of the part in “The Purple Rose of Cairo” when Jeff Daniels’ onscreen character meets the actor who played him in the movie he just stepped out of.

The philosophizing doesn’t end there. In an interesting bit of meta-narrative, the heroes (now joined by book enthusiast Helen Mirran and, I’m not making this up, the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz and the Minotaur) come across the man who wrote “Inkheart,” here played by Jim Broadbent as he continues his quest to appear in every third movie. Needless to say when Dustfinger encounters the man who created him it is a very much a man-confronts-God moment. Now after watching the movie, kids will be afraid of reading AND Soren Kierkegaard.

The central power in “Inkheart” does raise further questions about its limitations, If Frasier were to read out a cookbook, would food appear? What would happen if he read from a dictionary? When reading aloud from his own diary, would we see a younger version of the reader?

Maybe they’re saving that for the second movie in the trilogy: “Inkheart 2: Brendan Frasier 2.”

This is out of no where, but I felt it necessary just to record some of my feelings.  This is more or less of a journal post as opposed to Biblical “insight”, but we’ll see where my thoughts take me.

Scrubs just made me cry.  I don’t really feel bad admitting that because this episode, the 14th of season 3 is one of the best pieces of film I have seen.  I think I feel confident saying that.  For those of you that haven’t seen it, for the purposes of this post I’m going to ruin the ending.  So stop reading at this paragraph and let me know and I’ll sent you the episode or direct you to where you can watch it first if you don’t want it spoiled.  I want to emphasize how good this episode is and that I would probably prefer if you watched it first but if not, its up to you.

First I want to say that Scrubs may be the most underrated show ever.  Not only is it laugh out loud funny in so many ways (I love Zach Braff btw) but it is very thought provoking and sentimental.  I’m planning on catching up through season 8 if I can find it this summer.

But this episode is about how Dr. Cox’s best friend and brother-in-law dies of lukemia.  It is not evident until the very last scene that he passed away and its a beautifully produced and written episode.  The brother-in-law, played by Brendan Frasier, is still a character throughout the episode but in the end turns out to be an apparition in Dr. Cox’s mind, a figment of his imagination if you will.  Dr. Cox is in denial about his death until the very end when he shows up at what he thinks to be his son’s birthday party, but it ends up being the funeral.  Cox blames J.D and himself and Brendan wouldn’t allow Cox to go to the funeral until he owned up to these two things.  He made hims apologize to J.D. and say that there was nothing he could do about it.  J.D. felt an immense amount of guilt because he was there when Brendan died and said that there was nothing that could have been done, Dr. Cox felt otherwise and blamed J.D.  Cox also blamed himself because he left the hospital to take care of something at the exact time his brother-in-law coded and died.  He felt that he could have saved his life.  2 days later and Brendan Frasier still following him around and us still not realizing that he was dead, Brendan convinces Cox to forgive J.D. and also himself.  I have now seen this episode probably 4 times, I’ve known it was coming every time since the first viewing (obviously) and I’ve still cried every time.  I don’t know what gets me so much about this episode.

I think the main thing is how Brendan goes touring around the world cause he knows he’s dying but neglects his relationship with Cox.  Cox is upset because he wasn’t spending time with him but gets over it once he is there.  I think he is even more upset later in the episode once he realizes the death because of all the wasted time that could have been spent with his brother-in-law.  I think that that was partly why he was so mad at himself as well.  This gets me.  Wasted time gets me.  The irony of it all is that I worry a lot about wasting my time that the worrying causes me to waste it in the first place.  Its a trick of the devil, I’m convinced of this.  I think I realized the other day that one of the things he does is make things in the future seem so grand and awesome that we look forward to it so much and forget the present.  I could possibly go as far as to say that he convinces many Christians about how awesome heaven is that they lose their effectiveness here on earth because of it.  I know thats weird to say that the devil uses heaven for his own purposes, but I honestly believe it.  I think that too many Christians are so excited about heaven that they don’t even worry about others here on earth.  In one sense I think it is a very selfish thing.  To worry that much about how much you are going to enjoy heaven is wrong, I think.  But it is a very delicate balance because I know there is a lot in this life that is disheartening and discouraging and the promise of heaven and a new community is what gives a lot of people hope to live for something.  It is difficult, very difficult.  There is a balance there and I don’t know what it is.  I have not given it nearly enough thought to accurately say something as this thought literally occurred to me 3 minutes ago.  I think it goes along with the theme of selflessness and humility.  I just can’t see God looking down on us for only focusing on the relationships around us in order to accumulate more souls for the end.  I do not want people to think that I think that we should never focus on heaven though, like I said it is an important source of hope for us.  I’m just saying that too often we worry, and I think worry can be a good thing aka look forward to, and we lose sight of the real reason we were put on earth.  What exactly that is, I’m not sure either, but I’m learning and God is teaching me and revealing things to me.  I guess this post is contrary to my foundational beliefs in that it is a little personal and self-serving, forgive me, this is just a revelation that God is giving me because of how much I struggle with it I think.  This summer is a good example.  I am looking forward so much to certain things that life is just passing by and honestly, there isn’t a whole lot of life to waste.  That worries me, that I’m wasting to much of my life, and that worrying wastes more of my life.  It’s a vicious circle that I’m stuck in right now and I think God is trying to teach me to get out of it.  I think this is more than just worrying though.  This is also a lack of faith on my part.  This is where much of the worrying stems from I think.  I think it also stems from my pride and the fact that I think I can get by on my own and I worry about getting by on my own instead of humbling myself and realizing I can’t do it on my own.  I should be worrying about my lack of faith and pride more than anything.  I’m trying to think of a good Bible verse now to make this all seem Biblical, but nothing good is coming, I mean I can come up with a verse about worrying, but nothing thats really special at the moment.  I think this post was more or less of a self-realization of my own accord, but I hope so much that it could help someone else too.  I’m sorry if it doesn’t and I just wasted your time with this post.

Welp, that is what Scrubs did for me tonight.  I did not expect that. Dang.  I think that episode also has shades of a lesson in valuing relationships, but I’m tired and am interested to see what happens in the next episode, so that post will have to wait.  Now I am going to watch the follow up and see what happens.  God bless.

Sam

George of the Jungle 1997

Sam – Hair

Tim – Tree

Josh – Monkey

Gods and Monsters
★★★ / ★★★★

Based loosely on James Whale’s life, this film is for both the fan of “Frankenstein” and “Bride of Frankenstein” back in the 1930’s and general film lovers. Ian McKellen plays the legendary director with such power and subtlety, I forgot that I was watching an actor playing a part. The way he told his stories about making films, fighting in the war, and falling in love has a certain organic feel to it to the point where I felt like my grandfather was passing on his most treasured memories to me. Brendan Frasier surprised me in this film because I’ve always seen him in comedies and action-comedies, but he was able to deliver as the gardener who craves for something bigger than himself. He is able to mollify the hunger by interacting with McKellen–someone who has done something important in his life. The dynamic between the two leads have a plethora of implications. To be honest, by the end of the picture, I find it difficult to define their relationship. Sure, they’ve become friends but what kind of friendship did they really have? Was it a utility friendship, pleasure friendship, or complete friendship, or a combination of two or three of them? Another stand-out was Lynn Redgrave as Hanna, McKellen’s caretaker. She was so colorful and spunky in her scenes so it’s hard for me not to notice her. Her relationship with McKellen’s character is multidimensional but it never took the focus out of the film’s core. My favorite scenes include McKellen telling his story of the man he truly loved despite the circumstances through which they met, when the film actually reshot some of the scenes from “Frankenstein” and “Bride of Frankenstein” and when McKellen was finally driven to madness/desperation. Even though this is well-made, this film is not for everyone because it’s really more about the characters, what they’ve been through and where they’re going instead of the plot driving the vehicle to a certain destination. This film has something to say about mortality and how one deals with life after great accomplishments have been achieved. It goes to show that the question of “what if” can be as daunting as asking “what’s next.”

Dear Doctor,

How do I lose weight?  I’ve tried everything.

Fatty McHatty

Dear McHatty,

Doctor wonders if your letter is so brief, because you have a mid-morning snack to get back to.  You don’t supply much info to go on.  Are you extraordinarily obese, or just slightly overweight?  The difference in how to lose that last 5 pounds or how you’d go about losing 100 pounds is vast.  You also don’t elaborate on the trying everything part.  Are you trying the right things for your circumstances is the real question.  Most of us know how to lose weight, we just don’t employ the laser focus needed to see it through.

I’m reminded of a great old movie called Fatso.  It’s with Dom DeLouise and it shows one man’s struggle with his weight.  He knows he’s not feeding a physical hunger, yet he can’t seem to get past his own demons in spite of the knowing.  He joins Overeater’s Anonymous, he puts locks and chains on his cabinets.  He employs his family to help him eat more sensibly.  No matter what, he keeps faltering.  In one hilarious scene, he gets sent out to pick up the family dinner from a Chinese Restauarant, and returns home empty handed.  Everyone is horrified to learn he ate all the food, but not really that shocked.

There are many ways to lose weight, and the key is to be consistent.  None of these suggestions will work in the short term.  You will see over and over again, successful losers always talk about making life changes.  Examine these areas in your own life.

Portion Control:  How much are you really putting in your body.  Do you physically need that much?  In this Super Size world, we have lost our ability to judge with the eye the right amount of food.  Your protein portion at one meal should be about the size of a deck of playing cards.  Another way to lessen the amount of food you’re taking in is to eat from a smaller plate.  Instead of using dinner plates at every meal, try using the salad plate.  Your eyes might try to tell you you’re hungry at first, but if you trim the size of your portions, you will trim the size of your waist.

Food Types:  It seems every body has some diet strategy for sale.  Fueling the diet industry by spending billions of dollars on books, and shakes, and diet plans doesn’t seem to be fueling the fat loss people are seeking.  A fad doesn’t last and neither does the weight loss from a fad diet.  Again, what you want is long term consistency.  The best eating plan is one that is balanced.  What does that mean, you ask?  Well, you could use the US Food Pyramid as a guide.  However,  this doctor thinks whoever was in charge of that project really – as they say “screwed the pooch.”  If it’s not broken don’t fix it… and when we changed from the four food groups to the food pyramid, we made a big mistake.  I’m not talking about the four food groups as Pauly Shore explains to Brendan Frasier in Encino Man either; Corn Nuts – grain group, Sweet Tarts – fruit group, frozen convenience store burrito – meat group.  I cite this here not just because I use movie references in my column and I have to get my quota in, but because some people actually believe you can cover the four food groups eating at 7-11.   Let me try to simplify this… simplify your eating plan.  If it comes from a package, if it has an unpronounceable list of chemical ingredients, if you bought it at 7-11, chances are it’s not a healthy food choice.  Eat as many meals as you can from scratch.  Instant oatmeal might seem convenient, but you could have double the serving size of real oats, with a splash of cream, a pat of real butter, and a spoonful of sugar for about the same calories, and get a lot more fiber in your system.  Try rough cut or steel cut oats as an even healthier and tastier option.  Use fresh meats and produce.  Eat lots of vegetables, including lots of green leafy varieties.  Make your own salad dressings, use fruit as your dessert treats – not candy.  If you just followed this advice without actually counting calories you would most likely lose pounds.  Be vigilant about not eating chips, candy, drinking soda or other sweetened drinks and you could lose 5-10 pounds a year.

Treating vs Cheating:  This will sound as if I’m contradicting what I said in the paragraph above, but if you pay attention – you will see it’s not.  Eating whole natural foods, prepared yourself at home is the way of life.  Veering off that path for a second is not an excuse to throw any progress in that direction out the window.  If you want a piece of chocolate, have it.  Go ahead – some believe it’s good for you, especially if it is very dark chocolate.  Just know that you are feeding a craving, and not throwing the train off the tracks.  And that one piece of chocolate, combined with a healthy eating plan for the rest of the day is not going to make you fat.  It’s when you think “oh, I’ve totally screwed up my diet today, might as well finish the bag of miniature Reese’s peanut butter cups” that you create problems, both physically and mentally.  Completely depriving yourself is a set up for failure.  Give yourself permission to have that dessert if you’re out for a nice dinner, or to eat that scoop of ice cream with your kids on a hot summer day.  Just remember – it’s the treat, not the norm.  The norm is your healthy eating plan from above.

Exercise:  No list about losing weight should be complete without this section.  Many of the fad diets will proclaim that no strenuous exercise is necessary; pass those over immediately.  The key to exercise, like the rest of my suggestions, is to be consistent.  Get some activity for your body every day.  Every step matters.  Park far away from the front of the store, take the stairs, get up and change the channel, take the dogs out for a long walk, join a hiking club.  All these things are easy ways to get more steps in the day.  If you really want to change your body shape, and be the fittest you can be, try strength training.  Especially for women, this is one of the most fantastic things we can do for our bodies.  Building muscle mass means more lean tissue on your body, higher metabolism, less chance of osteoporosis with age, and a slew of other benefits, including added agility which makes everything work better.  Joyce Vedral has a variety of books that focus on weight training for women and her fat burning workout is a sure way to a trimmer you.

Everything Else:  Perhaps you feel you’ve done all of these things, and are still not getting results.  Do you keep a food diary of everything you eat, and are you diligent about writing everything down?  Do you record your work out activities.  If you are exercising, do you know your limits, and are you pushing them?  If you’re doing the same thing you were a year ago as far as time or distance, you need to kick up the intensity or try something different.  Pilates, yoga, team sports; challenge your body to something different.  If you can afford it hire a trainer to help make sure you are using proper form and using equipment properly.  Are you feeding your spirit and your humanity – sometimes we are burying with food what we should be digging up and tossing out.  If you can’t seem to sate your hunger, find out what you’re really hungry for.  If none of this is working for you, and you know you’ve been diligent in your efforts, go see a doctor.  Get tested for thyroid disease.  The symptoms are easy to miss, fatigue, weight gain, irritability, hair loss – they can all seem related to something else, but often signal hypothyroidism – a malfunctioning of the thyroid gland that slows metabolism.

In one of the best Everybody Loves Raymond episodes, Marie decides to eat healthier.  Not just to lose weight, but to live longer.  She goes so far as to mold a Turkey out of tofu and serve it for Thanksgiving dinner.  The family is forced to gag this inedible concoction down to appease Debra, who is trying to be supportive of her mother in law.  Later on in the episode they all end up in the kitchen for a midnight snack of real turkey, one that Ray ordered from a local restaurant.  The point this illustrates for this doctor is that at the end of the day – the most important thing is not the number on the scale, but that you share yourself with the important people in your life.  It’s good to be focused on the ideal you – you can’t be anything to anybody if you’re not taking care of yourself.  Don’t lose sight of what’s good in your life to whittle yourself to a magazine ideal.  If it is just 5 extra pounds, does it really have to go for your health, for your vanity, or at all?

Dear Doctor:

I can’t tell anyone about this because I’m afraid to admit it.  My wedding day is almost here, and I’m not sure I can go through with it.  He’s a great guy, my family and friends love him, and I thought I loved him too, but now I’m not sure.  When he snores, I think, I can’t do this every night of my life, for the rest of my life.  It seems since I realized the snoring bothered me, now everything else he does bothers me too.  It’s too late to back out, the deposits have all been paid, and the invitations have already gone out.  What should I do?

Wedding Bell Blues

Dear Blues:

Oh you poor thing, these are issues to think about before the invitations go out.  Your question reminds me of a scene from “Look Who’s Talking, where Molly (Kirstie Alley) imagines what her life would be like if she married her dates.  She also imagines what life would be like if she married the cab driver James (John Travolta), who gets her to the hospital in time to have the baby.  This montage includes dumpster diving, never a good thought while planning a wedding.

But back to you dear…  You don’t say how long you and ‘hubby to be’ have been together.  If you are hearing him snore every night, you are most likely living together.  It used to be ‘living together’ was frowned upon.  If you ask some “experts”, they will say couples that live together first have a higher divorce rate.  Findings now show that is not the case.  Couples that live together know more about how to live with each other.  That makes the transition after marriage much easier.  You probably want to know before the wedding day that hubby loves watching porn, (especially if you find that offensive).  Finding an extensive porn collection after the big day might result in disappointment, or worse.

We often don’t ask the right questions of each other during courting.  What you want to know is does your intended have the same moral fiber as you?  Are you able to discuss your views and opinions in a safe environment?  You don’t have to agree on everything… Lord knows you won’t.  But, are you able to express how you feel, and is your opinion respected even though you may not see eye to eye.

When marriages were arranged we wanted to find our own soul mates.  Now that times have changed, and we can pick our own mates, we should do a better job of finding the right person.  Do you have cold feet, Blues, or are you really disenchanted and just seeing it now?  I guarantee if you find another man, he will have habits that will annoy you.  It’s human nature to annoy each other.  It’s one of the best romantic movie plot devices ever used.  But at the end of the day, is he someone who really gets you?  Are you there for each other?  Do you like him when he’s not snoring?

Two people who have very diverse backgrounds and a different approach to life can still be soul mates.  In the move “Still Breathing,” Brendan Frasier comes from an unusual family, and has strange practices.  He dreams of his perfect woman (Joanna Going) and goes to LA to find her.  Being a con-woman, she mistakes him for her next mark.  Certain she can seal the deal she travels home with him to El Paso.  All of her beliefs are called into question.  In the end she realizes that he is in some way the one she is destined to be with.

It’s never too late, dear.  If you don’t want to go ahead with the wedding, it doesn’t matter what the cost is, in money or embarrassment.  What matters is that you’re talking about your life, and the life of another person.  It doesn’t even matter that the Mother of the Bride and/or the Mother of the Groom will be disappointed or upset.  Get some earplugs to silence the snoring, then think about it again.   Whatever you decide, just remember, it will be easier to explain to your relatives that you changed your mind than it will be to dissolve your marriage later.  Be sure before you walk down the aisle.  And Good Luck whatever you decide!

Pop Review

Review by Al Todorovic

Inkheart was a decent flick.

Brendan Frasier is a silver tongue, someone who can bring stories to life by reading out loud. But out oh, bad guys get out of the book and his wife is kidnapped. They escape prison, run around as wanted men then have a showdown.

This flick is fun for a sword fighting good time. Just don’t take it to seriously

Dear E,
It was a consequence of bad timing, I am left to assume
that everything fell apart. In a world of cheap jetfuel and
the history channel, so many young ones cannot help
but be drawn to you. This was supposed to be personal.

Now, I think of you only in the dusty pages of my first books.
It is the way I would like to remember you, a weathered look on your face,
sand-strewn eyes, a life of riddles with buried answers. Forgive me
for giving up; it is all I could bear to give.

HBO is one of those luxuries that you just don’t appreciate when you have it–every time you turn it on they’re airing something you have no interest in watching, or something that you did have a slight interest in watching, but then they aired it seventeen times in one month and even though Elizabeth Hurley looked good in that devil suit, Brendan Frasier’s presence kind of ruined it.  The only times I’ve had HBO were in my college dorm room, at home during those annual free weekends they do, and I guess in the occasional hotel room.  Not that I’ve stayed in many hotel rooms–I was raised on damp, mildly enjoyable vacations in tents.  Anyway, now I find myself with only the basic channels, which is more than adequate, really, except that it means no Flight of the Conchords…

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)
★★★ / ★★★★

I almost gave this a two stars out of four because there were moments where I thought it diverged too much from the adventure and focused a little bit too much on lame/unnecessary character development. With a family-friendly summer blockbuster film, one expects breath-taking action sequences right after another instead of a forced attempt of sentimentality. Still, I decided to give this film three stars because there were some truly memorable scenes such as the mine ride, the cave of crystals, the T-Rex, and the geyser. Brendan Fraser, like in “The Mummy” films, is really likeable as a scientist whose lab is about to be shut down; Josh Hutcherson continues his role as a kid who’s a little bit sarcastic but often keeps something up his sleeves; Anita Briem is also a neat addition because she provided energy when the story tends to slow down a bit. I did not see this in 3-D even though the entire picture is designed to be seen in such a format so I can’t comment on how much or if it’s better than on a flat screen. Still, there’s plenty of visual eye candy and adrenaline for those who just want to sit back and not think too much. But I must admit that I really like the science in the film: how Fraser’s character used kinematics to determine how high they are from the ground as they free fall, the application of Geology when it comes to recognizing certain rocks and their properties, the concept of bioluminescence (the production and emission of light when chemical energy is converted to light energy), and more. It made the movie that much more fun for me because I’ve taken classes that deal with those concepts. (I am a certified nerd/geek/dork.) This is the kind of movie that a babysitter can let kids watch because it’s pretty harmless, there’s a plethora of bright colors, and pretty funny one-liners. It could’ve been a lot better but it could’ve been a lot worse.

Hello all,

Here’s you BRAND NEW weekly movie news update:

This week in movies offers a film you’ve probably heard too much about and a film you’ve probably heard nothing about.  In any case, check out what our film buffs Alex Rabinowitz and Mike Estabrook have to say about them.  Read on for some movie news quickies…

Brendan Frasier may not show up in the fourth installment of the highly popular Mummy series (which might be a good thing since Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor completely sucked on every level). http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Mummy-4-Happening-Without-Brendan-Fraser-10690.html

The makers of the highly anticipated remake of one of the greatest graphic novels of our time, The Watchmen, may have totally schooled unsuspecting fans at a test screening in Portland last week.  It is rumored that the film shown in Portland may have had a fake ending (different from the novel) to see what the audience thought of it. http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Watchmen-Ending-May-Have-Been-A-Ruse-10692.html

Wondering about Iron Man 2 or The Avengers? http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=50069

~Bill McMillan

Vi la película de Fragmentos del Destino (The Air I Breathe), la más nueva película en cartelera de Brendan Frasier, aunque la misma salió en el 2007 en el otro lado. Muy recomendable cinta, ya me la había recomendado el Poncho hace unos meses, la bajé en calidad de internet hace más de una semana, pero apenas la vi.

Si quieres ver una historia interesante, parecida un poco a la narrativa de Tarantino, pero con una historia original y nada predecible esta es tu opción. Son cuatro historias que se entrelazan en algún punto de su narrativa y todas tienen como punto en común una mariposa.

El director se llama Jieho Lee, quien también escribió la historia y es su segundo trabajo en Hollywood, participan Brendan Frasier en el papel de un golpeador de la mafia que tiene un poder especial, puede predecir fragmentos del futuro; Forest Whitaker es un aburrido y tímido corredor de bolsa quien le mueve inversiones al personaje de Frasier, un día, en el baño de su trabajo escucha a unos compañeros hablar de una carrera de caballos arreglada, el caballo ganador se llama “Mariposa“, como a él le gustan las mariposas lo siente como una premonición y es por eso que decide apostar cincuenta mil dólares en un casino clandestino operado por un mafioso apodado “Fingers” (dedos), como siempre, el mafioso es Andy García, quien parece encasillado en este papel.

El caballo sufre un accidente, pierde, y se ve obligado a conseguir el dinero para pagar, así que decide robar un banco y en su huida con el dinero se topa a la protagonista de otra historia, Trista, una cantante de música pop que interpreta Sarah Michelle Gellar.

No pongo el final de la historia porque cada historia dura aproximadamente veinticinco minutos. La siguiente historia, luego de esta de “Felicidad”, que es la primera, es la de “Placer”, donde Brendan Frasier nos explica sus poderes de precognitivos y en donde se le encomienda cuidar al sobrino de Fingers, cuando ve la foto del CD de Trista, cuyo contrato ganó Fingers a su adeudado manager, Frasier descubre que sus poderes no funcionan con ella.

La historia se centra en una noche con Frasier y el sobrino de Fingers, muy buena historia, mucho mejor que la anterior.

La siguiente historia es “Tristeza” y es la vida triste de Sarah Michelle Gellar como artista y su relación amorosa con el personaje de Frasier, esta es la historia que me pareció más aburrida de las cuatro.

La última historia es más emotiva y es la de “Amor”, protagonizada por Kevin Bacon y es la historia de un doctor que estuvo toda su vida enamorada de una chica que terminó casada con su mejor amigo, un día a esta mujer la pica una serpiente y el personaje de Bacon hace todo lo posible por salvarla, relacionándose con el personaje de Gellar, quien comparte la misma sangre que necesita para sobrevivir su amada.

Vale la pena que vayan a ver esta película al cine, muy recomendable para el fin de semana, la pueden ver en pareja o con los amigos, es cine fácil de ver y entender, además de que te entretienes, muy buenas las actuaciones de los cinco personajes principales, aunque para mi gusto le faltó salir más a Withaker.

Esta buena para el fin, el miércoles iba a ver Bajo la Sal, pero me dolía la cabeza y mejor cené en el Super Salads, los combos están a cincuenta pesos de lunes a jueves de las cinco de la tarde en adelante, vale la pena darse la vuelta.

Mummy, The (1999)
[ 3 stars out of 4 ]

I remember watching this film back in 1999 and it amazes me how much I remember from it nine years later. Even though it has a lot of CGI for visual effects, this movie is undeniably enjoyable because it relies on its characters to get some emotions out of the audiences. It could’ve easily shown the torture and the kills but they didn’t so it leaves some images for the imagination. Brendan Frasier, Rachel Weisz, and John Hannah are all funny in their own ways but the three of them are very distinct. The mummy, played by Arnold Vosloo, is an effective villain, especially during the scenes when the treasure hunters just brought him back from the dead. Stephen Sommers, the director, wisely shrouded the mummy in the shadows for as long as he could so that the audience will be curious regarding what he looks like, his out-of-this-world abilities, and therefore engaged. The picture is fast-paced and full of action, which reminded me of “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.” There are also a lot of quotable one-liners that kept the movie from being too serious. This is a campy, energetic roller-coaster popcorn flick that shouldn’t be taken that seriously.

Bourne Supremacy, The
[ 4 stars out of 4 ]

A lot of folks were turned off by this installment’s unstable camera technique. I thought it was another dash of brilliance because it matches the film’s kinetic storyline. Matt Damon is back as Jason Bourne, angrier and more astute as ever. While this film serves as the transition between the (brilliant) first to the (magnificient) third installment, this one deserves some merit. If I had to pick which one is the weakest of the three, this would be it. Nonethless, it’s a four-star film because it managed to progress the story, find a decent footing regarding its tone, and the action sequences are bigger, more exciting. The classic, really complex car chase scene near the end of the film is nothing short of perfection. I felt like I was right there next to Jason Bourne. This entire franchise truly revived the tried-and-true action flicks that’s gotten stale. It’s my favourite spy trilogy. If there happens to be a fourth one, I would be more than willing to embrace it.

11th Hour, The
[ 4 stars out of 4 ]

What I love about this movie is that it was able to move past the global warming issues and see the bigger picture with such clarity and purpose. It started off with the basics–elementary-level information that pretty much everyone should know about. But as it went on, it became a complex, well-organized academic paper that gets more fun the longer one sticks with it. I learned a lot from this film but I’m not going to mention all of them because it is best if one chooses to experience it for himself or herself. But probably one of the most important lessons I took away from this picture is that the fight against global warming is not to protect the planet. Ultimately, it is a fight to protect ourselves; the Earth flourished prior to our existence and it will continue to do so once we are extinct. I love Leonardo DiCaprio and it is almost impossible for me to not be biased but he really does have a small role here. He’s a well-known active environmentalist and that’s fine. But do not let his presence be a distraction. Focus on the various scientists’ comments and concerns, the facts that they try to convey, and the images of the destruction we’ve forgotten so quickly. I prefer this over “An Inconvenient Truth” because I think it is more geared toward my age group. Still, watching both films is a must because our society desperately needs to change its thinking when it comes to our planet.

A ver… Vamos a ser concisos: Es mala.

Cambiaron a la heroína, que era preciosa, por otra solo linda.  Cambiaron una momia egipcia por Jet Li, en una película donde no hay excusas para tirar patadas voladoras.

Solo rescato dos momentos:

• La esposa de Brendan Frasier ha triunfado como escritora vendiendo sus propias aventuras en la forma de  dos novela. Le ha prometido al editor una tercera entrega aunque no tenga fundamentos para poder llevarla adelante, ya que la saga de Imothep quedó por completo cerrada. Aquí, al autoparodiarse, la película se aliviana presentandose como lo que es: Una producción oportunista y vacía que agota sus pretensiones en la recaudación de taquilla que le garantizan sus predecesoras.
• Los heroes encuentran la ayuda de los Yetis. Que les salieron, aunque irresponsablemente artificiales, queribles y simpáticos.

Si a alguien le interesa descargarla le dejo los links

Link 1: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=O5XW8QHC
Link 2: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1P2EY45I
Link 3: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1P2EY45I
Link 4: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=03YUBO18
Link 5: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=MKYGBDCU

Emperador Loazz III

Manchester is quite odd. No need to stay there for more than 6 hours (try and make it the 6 hours between 8p.m. and 2a.m. somewhere around the center city discos).

Don’t go see The Mummy: Tomb of The Dragon Emperor. Ever.

If you’re a fellow Arsenal fan check out their new 16 year old reserve star, Jack Wilshere, who has been wearing number 55. I’m too lazy to set up a link for anyone but hes got a couple vids on youtube if you’re interested, so D.I.Y.  

Editors note:

Carlos Vela is better.

In addition, the keyboards in Europe are bitter, mishapen, plastic hunks of trash. Peace/goodwill to all.

Like I have said 9 posts ago, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor will be the next flick that I will watch on the big screen. So there I was, seated in the dimly-lit cinema, later realizing that I wasn’t really enthusiastic about this film, that I could have waited for the DVD release, and that I would rather get out of the theater and head to the computer shop to update my blog. But I sat through it anyway. Besides, I already paid for my seat and I shouldn’t waste the money, right? But I got more than just a viewing experience. I had that experience again.

Before I knew it, a mouth-like figure suddenly emerged out of the screen and engulfed me. The last thing I heard before being eaten was what I said, “Uh-oh, here we go again…” Later on, I was falling down into something like an abyss, a tunnel, with kaleidoscopic colors all around. I was a bit frightened, as this experience was different from what I went through in the past. At the end of the tunnel was something that seemed like an opening, rimmed with a bright light. My head knocked on the opening; it was sealed by something transparent—a glass perhaps. With an aching nose, I looked beyond and I saw Jet Li. “What’s going on? Where am I? What’s this? Why is he there, while I am here?” Blood was beginning to rush so hard all throughout my body. Suddenly, a voice boomed at the end of the tunnel: “Years ago in ancient China…” It dawned on me that I was here to watch a movie, and I remembered that I entered the cinema to watch The Mummy 3. I remember being eaten by something that came out of the screen. I expected to be part of the film, but no: I was watching the movie someplace, in a parallel universe of some sort; maybe it was part of the cinema’s promotional experience for viewers of the said film. I looked around but all I could see were the mix of colors and shapes of a kaleidoscope. There was no one around. “Help!” I shouted. “May tao ba diyan?” (Is somebody there?) No answer. I was alone. And I was right, I’m in one of those experiences again.

Ever since I came of age and continued my movie addiction, strange things happened to me. Whenever I watched a movie, there would be that off-chance that I would get sucked into the film’s universe, into the story itself. I become part of the film, playing the role of on of the characters—the protagonist, the antagonist, the supporting characters, or one of the minor characters. But this rarely occurred. I just can’t understand why NOW, I’m in a weird universe instead of in the film’s universe.

The voice stopped, so I anxiously peeped through the glass and saw Brendan Frasier, fishing. I then remembered that Frasier’s character is named Rick O’Connell. “What’s happening? Maybe I’m just delusional. Schizophrenia?” I thought about the factors that could have triggered the mental disease. “Maybe I’m just thinking that I got sucked here, that ‘m just experiencing a delusion.” I looked through the hole and saw Maria Bello as Evelyn Carnahan-O’Connell. “I wish Rachel Weiz reprised her role. She was in the first two movies and I think she would make this third installment more worthy of anticipation. But, Bello does look good. Wait a minute; Rick and Evelyn are retirees of the espionage game? I didn’t know that they were spies!” Aside from this, I found out that it has been 14 years since The Mummy Returns and although changes have set in, everything looks pretty much the same. After some minutes, I saw whom I believe to be the O’Connell’s son: Alex (Luke Ford). “Was it that long after the second movie? Alex was a dumb, helpless kid back then. Yeah, right. Like he actually resembles his father.” By then, I looked behind me. It seemed like the way I came in through was narrow and small for me to fit in. It seemed like I was at the wide end of a cone. “How did I get here?”

Just then, action music started playing—you know, upbeat tunes whenever a character gets into fights. I saw Alex fighting a ninja spy (or maybe a Mediterranean assassin), only to find out that the spy was a she. “Hmm… nice eyes,” I thought. I remembered that the time-setting of “The Mummy universe was in the 1920’s to the 1940’s. I kind of expected to see advanced technology that would be of great aide in tomb raiding and mummy hunting. Just think, cell phones for communication, tracking devices for car chases with mummies, heavy firearms for an army of mummies, blah, blah. But anyone, this way, the mummy adventures would be more thrilling. So there I was, watching a movie in an unknown dimension. I figured that like in my past experiences, I would get out of here anyway, when the movie ends. Obviously, I didn’t have a choice but to watch and wait.

Everything went fine. When the film got to the part where our heroes were in an airplane to the Himalayas, I felt a strong heartbeat. And again. And again. “Uh-oh! Please don’t I don’t want transportation again!” But it happened. Like waking up in the morning, I opened my eyes to see five people’s backs. It was Rick, Evelyn, Alex, Lin, and Mad Dog Maguire. Beside me was Jonathan. “*sigh* I’m part of the movie…” I tried to see whose part I was playing. I was shocked to see that instead of hands, I had hooves. “Wha…?” I wasn’t sitting, I was standing—on four legs! “Hah?” And then, Jonathan said it, “…this Yak…” I stopped for a moment before letting out a “Moohhh!” sound. “Of all characters, I get stuck playing a Yak? You’ve got to be kidding me!” That was when I started feeling drowsy and had the urge to vomit. And, well, maybe you don’t want to think about it. I never realized Yak vomitus smelled and tasted that gross!

Alex and Lin: "They make a cute couple."

I had to accept my fate. I carried the O’Connell’s baggage while we treaded through the Himalayan mountains. After a long and tiring day, we reached a ruin where we spent the night. I was fed and treated like an animal. “Oh, the humiliation,” I thought. I wanted to kick these people’s butts, but I didn’t. If I disrupted the storyline, I might not get back to the real world. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alex and Lin talking. “They make a cute couple,” I thought.

By morning, we reached our destination, and Jonathan let me loose. “Okay, where do I go from here?” I climbed the hill next to the destination place (I didn’t know what it was called) and opted to observe their moves. It’s great watching a movie within the movie itself—seeing it all actually unfold before your very eyes. The enemy came: General Yang, his soldiers, and the Emperor. “Wow, I didn’t think I would see an actual stone statue walking, and breathing fire.” There was crossfire. Lucky for me, I was in a safe place. I saw that the good guys were getting beaten, when suddenly, a trio of Yeti came out from the mountains. “Yeti are real?” They helped our heroes against General Yang’s soldiers. However, they were no match for the Emperor himself. The Emperor let out this deafening scream that can actually pop your ears. Then, I saw him place a shining stone on top of a tower. It lighted a path unto Shangri-La. Just then, Alex threw a bomb, which triggered an avalanche. At the same time, Rick got stabbed by the Emperor’s dagger which was aimed particularly to Alex. “Oh no, Rick! An avalanche! Help!” were my moos and howls. The Emperor tried to stop the avalanche, but he couldn’t. It was coming, when the Yeti came to protect our heroes. “Okay, good…hey…wait…what about me…?”

The avalanche was coming. “Oh no…don’t tell me I’ll die here…” I felt the snow covering me up so fast. “Aaaggghhh!!!…wha…?” I was in a dimly-lit place. I was sitting. I was back at the cinema! A big swarm of relief covered me as I was back in the real world. I was sweating profusely (due to my encounter), so I continued sitting, relaxed, and enjoy the last half of the movie.

*******

I’m sorry if you had to endure a long post. It’s 08-08-08 today, so, with everyone’s practice of doing something new on a day like this, I opted to do a different post–something different from the monotonous posts that I’ve done ever since I started blogging. It’s pretty obvious that I did enjoy the movie. In the first place, I wouldn’t do this literary piece if I didn’t care enough for it. Hope you enjoyed this post and The Mummy 3, as much as I did.

Yesterday was a typical muggy mess, so The Max and I climbed into our A/C-less car and headed to our local multiplex in search of entertainment in the cold air. I gave him his choice of films; JTTCOTE3D or Space Chimps. In my head I was pleading “Please please please…DON’T PICK SPACE CHIMPS!” Luckily, he read my mind. It was not until we got to the theater that I found out that the movie was in 3D. I did not know anything about the movie. I was even surprised when I found out that Brendan Frasier was in it. With this and the new Mummy film, he is certainly going to make a comeback which should finally merit Encino Man 2: Back to the Stone Age. I also found out that it was rated PG-13. Whoops! Max is six, and I am pretty strict about not letting him see films rated higher than PG, but I went for it anyway.

It was actually alright. I don’t expect any Oscars, but I was entertained, and Max loved it. I was puzzled by the rating. There was no language, no nudity full or partial, and though some of the images were kinda scary, it was not gory even slightly.

What I was most happy about was the 3D-ness of it. I have decided that in order for a theater to earn my movie in the future, i am going to try and make it only to movies that have some sort of gimmick such as that. If it is not in 3D, or at the IMAX, or if they don’t pump out scents to match the scenes on the screen, I think I will stay home. Exception: John Cusack. Just so long as they keep make-uping the wrinkles forming on his forty-something face, I will happily see all his movies.

Este domingo, como deben de ser mis domingos, fue de cine, ahora fui a ver el estreno de la semana, La Momia: El Emperador Dragón, o algo así, a ver, aquí tengo el boleto, dice La Momia: La Tumba del Emperador Dragón, ese es el nombre completo y correcto, salen Brenda Frasier, Jet Li y otros tipos y tipas que no conozco, como sinceramente no hay mucho que ver en las salas nos aventamos esa cinta.

Nunca había visto una película de La Momia, este fin de semana estuvieron pasando un montón en la televisión, creo que por lo mismo, lo más que he visto fue el final del Rey Escorpión y esa es un derivado o spin-off de la serie, así que creo que no cuenta, pero bueno, era como estar viendo Indiana Jones mezclado con Hellboy, pero en malo.

Muy malo.

El personaje de Brendan Frasier es una mezcla de Indiana Jones con James Bond, pero ni siquiera el carisma de Frasier puede evitar que la película se hunda, sobre todo porque el peso de la acción ahora recae en su hijo, quien es interpretado por un tal Luke Ford, mismo que salía en la serie de televisión de Hercules.

El villano de la película es Jet Li, no sé porque en todas las películas americanas que no son de kung fu el Jet Li siempre es el chino malo, en este caso es un emperador muy malo que por un hechizo fue convertido con todo y su ejército en piedra y unos militares chinos quieren revivirlo para que China vuelva a ser una potencia dominante en el mundo.

La historia empieza en la China antigua, antes de la construcción de la Gran Muralla, con el Emperador Han quien era muy temido por los demás reyes, quienes le mandan asesinos para, obviamente, matarlo, no lo matan y él conquista toda China, luego construye la Muralla sobre los cadáveres de sus enemigos derrotados, hace un gran imperio, pero sabe que algún día morirá, aún así aprendió magia y podía controlar los cinco elementos, los cuales según la película son: Agua, Fuego, Aire, ¿Metal y Madera?

Sabiendo que un día morirá y que una bruja que sabe el secreto de la inmortalidad anda en China, pues manda a su hombre de confianza, el General Ming a que la traiga, va por ella y al Emperador le gusta la bruja pero a la bruja le gusta el General, total que los dos van y buscan el secreto de la inmortalidad y el Emperador le dijo al General que nadie tocara a la bruja porque le gustó para él.

El General y la Bruja se enamoran y tienen sexo y le dan el secreto de la inmortalidad al Emperador, quien tenía un espía que le dijo que aquellos le habían puesto. La bruja le hace el hechizo al Emperador y le dice que a cambio le pida lo que quiera, la bruja le dice que quiere casarse con el General y al salir al patio el General es desmembrado por los soldados del Emperador, la bruja maldice a Jet Li y lo convierte en piedra junto con todo su ejército, quienes se convierten en réplicas del Ejército de Terracota, características estatuas chinas,

Las arenas del tiempo entierran todo y el hijo de Brendan Frasier y la otra mona que es una actriz española nueva es un excavador de tumbas y es quien los encuentra, con ayuda de su profesor, quien luego lo traiciona, mmmh eso me suena un poco a la ultima película de Indiana Jones.

Al Brendan Frasier y su esposa los manda el gobierno a China a dejar una joya, la cual es la clave para revivir al emperador, quien recibe el nombre de Emperador Dragón en la película porque se convierte en dragón, aunque nunca se le llama así en la película y nunca fue una momia, más bien era un humano hecho una estatua la cual fue revivida.

Luego de balazos y la ayuda de una especie de ninja mujer, quien es una chinita que es cantante en su país y fue convertida en actriz para esta y otras películas chinas, los chinos malos reviven al Emperador, hay persecusiones y cosas así, con explosiones y balazos, todo ambientado en 1946.

El alivio cómico es por parte de Jonathan, el hermano de la esposa de Frasier, quien se pone borracho y tiene un monólogo con un yack a quien le declara su amor, luego de una pelea en Shangri-La, una tierra mítica china, el grupo de los buenos fue ayudado por un trío de yetis, si, como lo leyeron, tres yetis ayudan a los buenos contra los chinos malos.

Hay un poco de acción, chistes y cosas así, después la bruja aparece viva, porque era inmortal y la china ninja era su hija y esta enamorada del hijo de Brenda Frasier, pero ambos lo niegan, la bruja china revive a todos los enemigos del Emperador que estaban muertos bajo la Gran Muralla, ya que el Emperador ya había revivido a su ejército de soldados de piedra, quienes al atravesar la muralla se harían de carne y hueso invencibles, si, serían un ejército invencible e inmortal, tal como el de la película de Hellboy 2.

Luego de que zombies y soldados de piedra pelean, Brendan Frasier y su hijo matan chafamente a Jet Li, quien por más patadas voladoras que se avienta no logra levantar la película y termina todo siendo un tedio y una película mala con cosas que ya vimos en esta temporada de estrenos.

Pues es palomera para pasar el rato, pero si no han visto Batman, mejor vean Batman, o si ya la vieron, veánla otra vez.

O mejor aún, compren la Momia pirata, bajénla de internet o algo así.

Al final todo parece indicar que habrá otra de la Momia en Perú, si, en Perú, donde andaba Indiana Jones.

La cina nueva de Batman The Dark Knight sigue con ventas muy altas. Esta ya es la tercera semana desde su premier, y arrebazo a la nueva pelicula de este fin de semana The Mummy 3, con Brendan Frasier. Si esta pelicula sigue asi, no lo duden que muy pronto supere las ventas de Titanic, ya que Batman cuenta con ventas de $395.88 Millones de dolares. Solo han sido tres semanas y es muy facil de seguir haciendo dinero. Por otro lado tambien se cree que estas ventas de deben a la muerte de Heath Ledger, ya que esta fue su ultima pelicula.

Heath Ledger "Joker"

Ver La Momia 3 ONLINE:

PARTE 1

PARTE 2

PARTE 3

PARTE 4

 

CRÍTICA

Una gran decepción de película. Me esperaba mucho más de la saga de La Momia pero parece cierta la norma no escrita de que terceras partes nunca fueron buenas.

En este caso, el enemigo de turno es un antiguo emperador que gracias a una maldición ha permanecido en forma de estatua durante siglos y con ello el mundo a salvo pero en la película resucita y es labor de los O’Connell restaurar el orden de los acontecimientos.

Poco más hay que decir a un argumento previsible y un reparto en el que la ausencia de Rachel Weisz pesa más de lo debido por causa de un guión insípido y somnoliento.

Grandes efectos especiales y ambientaciones y poco más que añadir.

PUNTUACIÓN

Actores: 6

Guión: 3

Efectos especiales: 8

Diversión: 3

Puntuación: 5