Mutharika: No more

And then one or two months ago, one of the renowned prophets of modern times T.B. Joshua prophesied the death of an African dictator. Malawians jumped up and down wishing and hoping it should be their president. Crazy, huh? A day or two after the prophecy, the president was reported to have been rushed to Mwaiwathu Hospital in Blantyre, a thing which the then ‘leader of opposition in government’ who was presidential spokesperson, Dr Hetherwick Ntaba refuted. Indeed a week could not pass without a false rumour of the president’s death. But Mutharika himself told the nation that he was not going to die even if they want him dead soonest.

But nobody indeed could tell that he was to breathe his last on Maundy Thursday. Maybe only him, the prophet and God. He is reported to have written a letter to Joshua a week before his demise, apparently conceding that he was the one to whom the prophecy was directed.

Indeed with just a simple but sad statement “Bingu is dead” the world has crumbled on some individuals. A fortnight ago, we had an Inspector General of Malawi Police Service by the name Peter Mukhitho. That was two weeks ago. Now it is Loti Dzonzi on it, though he has not yet been approved by parliament.

It was in the late hours of Friday the 6th of April when ‘Akweni’ Patricia Kaliati alongside five other ministers managed to preside over the last of her press conferences where instead of tackling issues, she just attacked personalities and said nothing too sensible for me, as usual. Unfortunately, the last of her victims (of course this was not the first time for her to attack this ‘victim’) happened to be someone who was to become president of the republic of Malawi in just less than 24 hours. This world!

She claimed Joyce Banda was not eligible to assume the presidency in the event of the death of the president, which she was still refuting though it was all over the media, both local and international. As usual she claimed she was chatting with the president at a time when he was obviously dead. Maybe she can chat with dead people, we never know!

In less than 12 hours later, she obviously realised that she had badly goofed, though she managed to smile at Banda’s swearing in ceremony. Malawians were not ready to see their constitution being raped yet again by the very same blue people. It was obvious that that smile was just a surface expression, but deep inside she was burning with questions whose answers only lied in the mind of the new president. What next? After all those ills I have been blatantly saying about her, what will my fate be?

Another obvious thing to me was that she could not miss out from the list of those who were, or are, to see the exit door soonest. I do not see her holding a ministerial position any sooner than 2014, God willing. No wonder she and most of her colleagues from the previous cabinet are missing from JB’s new cabinet.

You talk of Malawi Broadcasting Corporation? Well, ask me where the openly pro-DPP Director General Bright Malopa is. I can imagine the likes of Chimwemwe Banda, Mzati Nkolokosa, et cetera, panicking within their shoes wherever they are. They just cannot stand the heat from the fire they started. I hear Malopa’s conscious forced him to attempt fleeing to an unknown destination. And he is also reported to have attempted to get to the president so that she offers him “any post in the civil service.” Yes, he went kneeling to the very same person he castigated shamelessly. The evil that men do surely lives after them. It is time to reap that which you sowed.

Just 14 days, but many have aligned themselves to the new president’s party, People’s Party (PP). This is just the very same party they openly denounced, saying it was just full of widows of power and recycled politicians. We have witnessed many members of parliament crossing the floor from a bunch of other parties, including former ruling (former ruling, how things change!) DPP into PP. I gather some MPs have even gone a mile to write the Speaker of the National Assembly telling him their intention.

Not only MPs have pledged their allegiance to the orange flag, but also business magnets, big ones like Mulli Brothers. This is a company infamous for its expansion policies that, it is alleged, negatively affect poor Malawians. There are numerous encroaching cases involving the company and other parties wherever they buy land or anything. It is like they always buy one square metre of land, but they want to get the whole square kilometre around.

Mind you, this company seemed to have been over the moon about something as it went around buying anything buyable, starting all sorts of businesses and stuff. It was rumoured that the late president had shares in the company, an allegation which has been denounced just within this fortnight. Their vehicles ferried people from all walks of life, to anywhere the president was addressing a public rally.

The Managing Director of the company openly confessed that a wise business guru has to side with the current government. It is in the same vein that the company has also announced that it will side with Banda’s government, for whatever reasons you and I do not know, but can rightly guess, not so?

Whatever reason all these people may give for making a U-turn into PP, I have one simple word to describe most of them: opportunists. I am not afraid to rightly call them opportunists, political prostitutes! The DPP well has obviously dried up. It is time to cast the nets far and wide, to the deep waters. Just within 14 days.

You talk of the Reserve Bank? The shake up has not skipped that place. JB has replaced Perks Ligoya with Charles Chuka. I do not want to talk about Ligoya, the RBM manager who had all the might to build a swimming pool worth more than 40 million Kwacha while the country was amidst economic hardships, at least not now. That is the problem with some people. They just think about their own luxuries while some people out their do not even have the least basics.

Within this fortnight I have realised that all those cheerleaders knew they were on the wrong but just did everything to please their fallen master, if Wakuda Kamanga’s words are anything to go by. At Bingu’s burial ceremony, he asked people’s forgiveness “for all they [DPP] did when they were pa chinyezi (in power).

These were the people who shamelessly defended anything even, sorry to say, stupid policies and sentiments. In Chichewa there is a proverb that goes like “ukakhala pa msana pa njovu uamati kunja kulibe mame” (literary: when riding an elephant do not say there is no dew). They pretended ordinary citizens were not going through all sorts of hardships while they knew pretty well what exactly was on the ground.

When they spoke, it was as if they were sure that they were not going to wake up the following day. In one of my previous articles (Nobody said that) I pointed out that disease that was fast eating such once good people as Ntaba, Kaliati, Dausi, Kamanga and many others. Now that they are piled up in one heap on the opposition benches, The Daydreamer has set his ears to hear what sense (if any at all) or nonsense they will be vomiting from there.

All this has happened within a fortnight, and still within the mourning period. What about after a month or two? I can see a very big shake up everywhere, as long as it is called a government institution. Indeed I have said everywhere. Trust me. ESCOM, MHC, Malawi Post Corporation, even our dear water boards, just to mention a few.

A fortnight ago on Maundy Thursday, the nation learnt with great shock…no… that would be lying. Many people jumped up and down with joy that Bingu is gone. That calls for some deep hallucinations. This is just a preamble. I will be back shortly.

May his soul rest in eternal peace.