HI EVERYONE ROY HALLADAY THREW A NO HITTER IN HIS FIRST POSTSEASON APPEARANCE AND I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO USE PUNCTUATION

PS IT WAS ONLY THE SECOND ONE IN A LITTLE THING WE LIKE TO CALL HISTORY

PS NUMBAH TWO: OH AND HE THREW A PERFECT GAME THIS YEAR ALREADY.

For real, I kind of think my husband would be okay if I left him for Roy. Actually, I kind of think he might leave me for Roy. I’m not sure I blame him.

Diego Pozo

Gabriel Heinze

Gonzalo Higuain

Martin Palermo

Nicolas Burdisso

Sergio Aguero

The Nigerian Squad? Not so much bringing the heat…

Obafemi Martins

Vincent Enyeama

South Korea is also sadly lacking in hotties:

Lee Chung Yong is their Seoul representative. (I heart puns)

But never fear, for as you would expect, Greece is bringing the heat with enough hotties to cover the whole group!

Alexandros Tziolis

Nikos Spiropoulos

Alexandros Tzorvas seems wistful here. Wouldn’t you like to fulfill the promise of those gorgeous eyes?

Stelios Malezas

I’m sorry – the National’s game is SOLD OUT???  Did Ted Williams come back from the freezer to don a Nat’s jersey?

Seriously, if you’ve ever been to a Nat’s game, it’s a veritable ghost town – which is fine by me, I hate waiting in line for a beer!

And what may you say is the real cause of DC baseball mania?  None other than a young buck with the most anticipated pitching debut in the game.

It’s a heck of a thing – barely being of drinking age, never stepping foot on a professional pitcher’s mound, and being the name on everyone’s lips.  A year ago Stephen Strasburg was the number one draft pick out of San Diego State, signing with the Nationals for an unheard of four-year, $15.1 million contract with the Nationals (Scott Boras does work!), and the waiting began.

He’s been chilling in the minors, remaining virtually unhittable – going a combined 7-2 with a 1.30 ERA, a WHIP of 0.80 and 65 strikeouts in 55 innings for Double-A Harrisburg and Triple-A Syracuse.

While all the stats are wicked impressive, he hasn’t been squaring off with the likes of Prado, Braun and Rolen, or pitching to sold out crowds.

With a slider that clocks in at speeds of other’s fastballs, and an arsenal of unpredictable pitches – the kid’s got something to watch.

However, he’s got questionable mechanics, which could lead to injuries, or just running out of juice.  If the Nationals keep him to a limited pitch count, like they’ve been doing, they might be on to something big.  But all this comes from a ball club that put up 59–103 record last year, so let’s hope the management changes will keep on making better choices.

The problem with hype – it’s rarely lived up to, but I’m ready to be wowed.  I’m ready for a breath of fresh air in DC sports and the game in general.

We’re ready for the next big thing – while holding off on crowing him the next Koufax just yet.

Countless reporters, players, coaches, scouts, fans – basically anyone who’s seen this guy pitch say he’s the real deal, ready to quench your hype thirst… we wait with bated breath good sir.

Here’s a teaser, but follow the jump for much, much more!

The fine, fine men of France (with, by far, the hottest team in this bracket):

Djibril Cisse

Andre Pierre Gignac

Marc Planus

Gael Clichy

William Gallas

Cedric Carrasso

Mathieu Valbuena

Anthony Reveillere

and with them as always, Joann Gourcuff

Hotties of the Host Nation – South Africa:

Itumeleng Khune

Kagisho Dikgacoi

Katlego  Mphela

Presenting the men of Mexico:

Carlos Salcido

Gerardo Torrado

Jonny Magallon

Rafael Marquez

Your Uruguyan Hotties:

Andres Scotti

Diego Godin

Diego Lugano

Luis Suarez

Mauricio Victorino

Sebastian Eguren

Who care what the record is – these Pittsburgh Pirates are hot! So hot, in fact, that the first time Garrett Jones came to bat, my mother stopped what she was doing to say “who’s that?”

Sadly for us, these hapless Pirates don’t receive too much media coverage and pictures are somewhat difficult to come by. Maybe there are even more pretty Pirates that I missed out on. Let me know if the comments if someone else needs to make it on our radar.

Follow the jump to meet these Pirates Pretty boys

Bobby Crosby puts me in the mind of about seven English Premier League soccer players, which might actually heighten his appeal. Either way, he’s certainly a poster boy for the “Bald and Beautiful” society

Pitcher Brian Bures has some very pretty eyes, if his head shot from Pirates.com is any indication. Unfortunately, he also has some skeevy looking facial hair. Take the below picture instead and take my word on his eyes!

Andy LaRoche might not be the cutest guy on the squad, but its hard to resist a baseball player in the rain

Ryan Church has a boy next door charm

Zach Duke’s not only a cutie, but I love this action shot of him

Ryan Doumit kind of looks like a long-lost Brady child, but I love the hair curling out under the back of his cap

Jeff Clement might be worth the price of admission all on his own.

I dare you to not think naughty thoughts after staring at this pic of Andrew McCutchen

But let’s be honest – these boys are just the appetizers and Garrett Jones is the main course. At 6’4″, Garrett is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome.

Note to Garrett – never, ever be clean-shaven. Your scruff is epically gorgeous.

For you Ladies… with eye black obsessions…

And he’s apparently always willing to oblige his fans – even on the road.