Somehow a miracle has occurred, and Haley got into college! If Haley is the future of America, America must be pretty doomed, so Alex suggests already switching to Chinese currency. When Haley leaves she wants to ensure that Alex doesn’t “dork up [their] room,” to which Alex responds with “Don’t slut up your college.” Though they deflect their sadness with their sarcasm and means jokes, they are truly sad to see each other go and hug for awhile. When it’s Luke’s turn to say goodbye, he comes in wearing a ridiculous mask so Haley doesn’t see him cry. He is literally masking his emotions so he looks tougher. When Phil and Claire help Haley in the moving process, they embarrass nearly beyond imagination. Phil is wearing a “Haley’s Moving Co.” shirt that has her as a little kid on it. This is a nice throwback to his t-shirt-making obsession from previous episodes. Phil, reminiscent of his own college days, grabs Haley’s roommate’s butt, thinking its Claire’s. If her telling her dad isn’t bad enough, as he is trying to explain himself, he knocks over a box full of condoms (that Claire bought Haley) and Haley notices her My Little Pony bedsheets. Haley begs her roommate not to judge her based on her parents, she isn’t a freak like them. When the other family leaves the room, Haley sends her parents home, completely mortified of their behavior and her own first impression at her new college.

Haley quickly regrets her rash decision when she sees that she is the only student without her parents. She goes back to her room and reads Phil’s-osophy, a present from her dad with all of the life lessons he’s learned. She calls them up to thank them and tells them that she loves and misses them. Both Phil and Claire are choking back tears so she won’t realize that they’ll miss her so much more than she’ll miss them. Not to mention that she’s never showed them this kind of affection before. And to top it off, Haley is wearing her dad’s “Haley’s Moving Co.” shirt.

Haley isn’t the only one who is going off to school for the first time, it’s also Lily’s first day of kindergarden. Cam and Mitch try to comfort her about leaving home for the first time, but she waves goodbye and runs off to play, which nearly breaks Cam’s heart. But almost immediately, Lily is picked on by another child, Connor. Cam grabs the kid and threatens him to back off. Mitch and Cam are then sent to the principal’s office to discuss this; just like high school all over again. Cam, furious about how Connor treated Lily (but deeming himself not at all at fault), calls the kindergarden The Hunger Games, because hair pulling compares perfectly with kids being forced to kill other kids.

Though Cam and Mitch insist that lesbians and gays are incredibly different, they practically prove the opposite. One of Connor’s moms is incredibly stereotypical of a lesbian, she is butch and rash. This compares nicely to Cam being an incredibly stereotypical gay man, he is emotional and dainty; and her name rhyming with Cam (it’s Pam) is there to emphasize this point. However, they both hate perpetuating the common stereotypes so they give each other a hard time about it. Connor’s other mom is rational, gentle, and sensible, much like Mitch, they try to keep the mandated play date civilized and under control. This becomes very difficult when the kids lock themselves into the bedroom and refuse to come out. After a long time of coaxing, the kids agree to come out, which sparks the realization that, though gays and lesbians are very different, they (and straight parents) all love their kids.

Manny forces Jay and Gloria to attend a parenting school, because he is worried that he will have  to do all of the work. Jay is old and out-of-touch and Gloria never really took care of him. What if the baby came out stupid and no one was there to take care of him? Jay and Gloria go into the class thinking that they know everything, Gloria is trying to show off and Jay is trying to be funny. Neither of them are successful. When they are insulted, they decide to leave, which causes Manny to be incredibly disappointed in them. Jay promises Manny that he is the man of the house and that he will take care of the baby, which soothes Manny significantly.

I really hope that now that Haley is off in college, Luke and Alex will receive more screen time. They are absolutely hilarious, but underused. One or two one-liners are not enough for them, they need larger story arcs.

It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed as hard as I did when I heard some of the quotes from Phil’s-osophy, so I compiled a list of all of the ones they said. Here ya go!

• “Always look people in the eye, even if they’re blind, just say ‘I’m looking you in the eye.’”
• “If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your wife has diarrhea.”
• “You only get one chance at a first impression. I suggest Julia Child, because it’s easy to do.”
• “The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you if you just lower your expectations.”
• “Dance until your feet hurt, sing until your lungs hurt, act until you’re William Hurt.”
• “Take a lesson from parakeets: if you’re ever feeling lonely, just eat in front of a mirror.”
• “Never be afraid to reach for the stars, because even if you fall, you’re always wearing a parent-chute.”
• “Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.”
• “Older black ladies make the best iced tea.”
• “Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.”
• “You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.”
• “Watch a sunrise at least once a day.”
• “If you love something, set it free. Unless it’s a tiger.”
• “If you’re ever in a jam, a crayon scrunched up under your nose makes a good pretend mustache.”
• “When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like ‘What!?’”

(My review of the next episode of Modern Family, Snip)

Check out the sites mentioned above and see if it works for your little one.

This is why I chose to make my own baby food:

1) It’s cost effective.

One butternut squash from the store costs me approximately $3. I can feed DE on that one squash for 2-4 weeks, depending what I mix it with. By itself, it would last me at least a week.

2) It’s healthy. There are no preservatives and I know exactly what’s going into my baby’s food.

3) It prepares DE to eat what we eat at our house. I add mild spices to his food, so he can gradually adjust to what mommy and daddy eat.

I do not want my child eating solely from the children’s menu (ie: mac and cheese, hot dogs, hamburger, etc). It is our goal to have our child eat nutritious food, in an attempt to avoid childhood obesity. Bring on the sushi!

Initially, I was very nervous about attempting to make my own baby food. What if I did it wrong? Don’t all kids have to eat what is available prepackaged at the supermarket?

I gained confidence by reading The Wholesome Baby Food Guide.

This book outlines how to start feeding your baby and how to freeze your own food.

After reading through it once, I put it away and let my imagination take hold.

At six months, I started DE on butternut squash, sweet potatoes, pears, apples, bananas, and avocado. (each individually) We waited till six months, because we travel a lot and breast feeding was the easiest thing to pack.

Since he’s older now, I’ve simplified things and feed him anything, but egg, wheat, cow’s milk, citrus, tomatoes, or nuts. (This is my personal choice. You can feed anything, but nuts and cow’s milk after 6 months.) I plan to introduce wheat products and eggs when he’s 9 months old. My pediatrician recommended limiting citrus and tomatoes, because it will cause burning when it comes out at the other end.

Many books will recommend starting with cereal as your first food. This just didn’t make nutritional sense to me. Rice cereal is devoid of anything nutritious and is simply a filler. So we stuck with fruits and vegetables.

I decide what to feed DE now according to what’s on sale at our local grocery store. Since it’s autumn, he’s eating a lot of different types of squash, meat, green beans, and stone fruits. His personal favorites are butternut squash, plums, and pears.

Remember: it takes a baby seven times of trying something, before you can really determine if they dislike it. If your baby seems to not enjoy a certain food, keep trying it for several days in a row. He may just grow to love it.

The only issue I’ve run into with preparing my own baby food is not pureeing or thinning the food enough. I would recommend purchasing/using a really good blender. I tried using a food processor, but my machine wouldn’t puree well enough. I thin DE’s food with filtered water from our faucet, not breastmilk, because breastmilk can take on a soapy taste when it’s repeatedly frozen and reheated.

So here’s an example of how to prepare baby food:

1) Wash the food.  Let’s use the example of preparing pears.

2) Prepare it.

With pears you need to remove the skins, core, and cut into quarters.

3) Put the food in a pot with some filtered water at the bottom. Heat and cover till it turns soft.

4) Once soft, turn off the heat and let it cool.

5) Put the cooked pears into a blender with some of the leftover water. Puree.

6) Pour puree into ice cube trays.

7) Cover with plastic wrap and freeze.

8) The next day, use a knife to pop out the frozen cubes. Put them in a seal-able gallon bag and return the food to the freezer.

Don’t forget to label the bags.

When baby is ready to eat, simply grab a couple of cubes (each cube is approximately 1 oz of food) and put them in a bowl in the microwave for 30 seconds to 1 minute.

Stir and serve, ensuring that the food is not too hot for little mouths.

As I mentioned above, this is how I prepare baby food. There are many different ways that you can chose to do this. I’ve found that this method works well in our house and I’m having a lot of fun preparing different food and making concoctions for DE to try.

Have you ever tried chicken, sweet potato, peach, green bean puree before?

DE gives it two thumbs up!

14 months . . . such a short time on Earth for someone to occupy such an enormous part of my heart.

Two of my major goals is related to personal finance and my immediate family.  I definitely could be better with my money.  Some months I am amazing with my cash.  Other months I fritter it away and spend emotionally or frivolously. September was one of these months for me.

As for my relationship with my husband, I would say that it is very good – but marriage is something I believe you have to work at every day.  Life isn’t a romantic comedy and after you say “I do” on your wedding day there isn’t necessarily a “happy ever after.” We have our ups and downs like every body else and I will say that having a baby has definitely introduced new challenges to our marriage as we’ve navigated the ups and downs of parenthood.

Here are my affirmations for October:

Personal Finance

I am deliberate and thoughtful in the way I spend my money.

I don’t give in to impulse or emotions when I feel the urge to purchase something - particularly clothes.

I save money by eating food at home or I bring food from home to eat at work.

When I am good with my money I feel relaxed, secure, confident and happy.

Relationship with DH

I tell DH something good, awesome or special about him every day.

I speak kindly to him and give him sweet looks and affectionate hugs and kisses.

When I feel negative about our relationship I think instead of what is right.

I always assume good intent with him and his actions.

When I act and think lovingly toward DH I build a stronger relationship for us as a couple and as parents for AJ. This makes me feel loved, cherished, secure, at peace and content.

So, there you have it!  That’s what I’m working on this month! 

Do you write affirmations?

Here’s an abbreviated version of what happened over the summer:

Celebrated AJ’s first birthday at the park with family and friends:

Happy 1st Birthday!

Cake!

AJ took swim lessons on Saturdays at the Y and enjoyed ALMOST every minute of it (not so much a fan of the dunking but the “motor boat” song was a definite highlight of every lesson):

Playing at the splash pad before swim lessons.

Enjoying the sun and surf on the HB pier.

AJ enjoyed “dancing” to the music. Cute stuff!

And now for a Monday Morning Chit Chat post – it’s been a LONG time since I participated and happy to be back! (Brought to you by My 1/2  Dozen Daily).

Captivated by the leaves and sky!

Watching: Real Housewives of Miami on our DVR this morning.

Listening to: Miles Davis – a little jazz on this over cast day puts me in the mood to write!

Cooking/Baking: I prepped spinach and artichoke baked pasta yesterday for tonight’s dinner.  Can’t wait!

Happy you accomplished this week: I’m happy that we had such a good weekend – a great balance of time at home to do chores/prep/laundry while getting in some quality time with friends and with just DH and my girl.  It’s hard to find that balance but this weekend we actually did!

Looking forward to next week: Saturday DH and I are checking out the Open House of a new townhouse development – we are feeling ready to think about buying a home of our own and this will be the first time we actually go check out a property other than just do neighborhood drive-bys.  On Sunday we are taking AJ on her first trip to the pumpkin patch!! 

Thankful for today: A really lovely weekend leaving me feeling refreshed and ready for the week ahead.

*Bonus Question*

Do you “switch out” your purse when the seasons change? No, not really.  In Southern California the season change is very subtle. As it gets cooler I do tend to work in more of my fall and winter clothes but let’s be real, my version of winter clothing is probably a lot different from a person’s who lives in the mid west and deals with snow and other chilly elements!  I’m carrying a black canvas purse right now with leather detailing (a second-hand Coach) and will probably continue to carry it through the end of the year and into 2013.

I hate it when he cries. I hate it when ANY kid cries.

I breaks my heart.

So we’ve been trying everything to calm him from pain meds to extra nighttime feedings. Last night, after a three hour cycle of intermittent crying with no helpful solution, I was tempted to pack him up and take him to the emergency room. Thankfully, I called my extra smart husband first (who was already on his way to work) and he helped my fuzzy brain remember that there was little to do for my fussy seven month old. DE had no fever, diarrhea, ear pain, distended abdomen, severe constipation, etc. Basically nothing an ED could treat. He was simply fussy and miserable. And consequently, I was fussy and miserable.

So now I wonder, how many more moms were up last night with their little ones? How many sleepless nights accompany motherhood? Will I ever sleep through an entire night again?

I’m learning that as soon as I figure out what DE needs, he changes. I’m also learning that I can’t blame myself for not predicting his ever changing needs. I used to think that if he cried, it was a failing on my part to provide for him.

Now I’ve learned that it is impossible to keep a baby happy at all times. So cry he must.

The only thing that makes this time bearable is when he reaches for me from his crib, holds on to my neck, and finds comfort in my arms.

So this is what I have to say to my dear baby boy.

Though I’m sleep deprived and moody. Though I desperately want you to sleep through the night, know that mommy is with you. We’ll get through this together.

You cry and I’ll answer.

If we need to see the sun rise together, we’ll do it.

For I know somewhere deep down in my soul that this is a phase, a season in our life. And before long you’ll be happy, sleeping through the night, and running away from the comfort of my arms.

I can say, however, that I’ve never been to a corn maze like Sever’s Corn Maze in Shakopee, Minnesota. (As a complete side note I think they are missing a HUGE opportunity with not just calling them Maizes. It sounds like the word of what it is and translates to the word that is the material. Why don’t people consult with me? Obviously I’m a genius.) We didn’t even make it to the maze itself, we got too caught up in the other attractions. What attractions? You may well ask. They had more than I’ll probably remember to write about, so I’ll stick to the ones we participated in. There was a corn pit. You heard me. Corn pit. There was this giant tent set up with hay bales lining the edges. In the middle were giant stacks of corn kernels. Something we learned there, I’d die in quick sand. The theories behind moving in corn may or may not be similar to sand but I’m certain that if I couldn’t quite grasp corn I don’t want to try the sand. My older sister Bailey, however, took to it like a fish to water. She was able to slither herself up to the top of pile while I sunk when it was only up to my knees. I know, you’re jealous.

Next up, pumpkin launches! They had 2 old launchers of some kind, that when stuffed with mini pumpkins, could hit trucks and targets. It fed some primal nature to see stuff explode, namely the tiny pumpkins. Also, it was super satisfying see them shatter against the truck. Not so much for Bailey, she asked if I could/would hit anything besides the truck. Then we headed over to the petting zoo where I neglected to read the signs and almost reached out and got my hand bit off. Luckily my sisters were looking out for me. They yelled at me before anything bad could happen and only my pride was hurt. Okay, who am I kidding, my pride has been ‘hurt’ so much it has an impenetrable layer of scar tissue to protect it. That tent was pretty fun and I even got to pet a camel and a deer, so win.

Finally, and the highlight for us, was the parakeet tent. A tent full with hundreds of birds! They had little sticks with seed on them that if you held them out the birds would go to so you could hold and pet the birds! My nephew LOVED this place. We spent the most time there and he really only hit one bird. After being reminded to be gentle he was able to pet the birds without scaring them off. I think my sisters and I reacted more violently to them coming and going then he did. He thought it was down right hilarious that the birds scared us with their swarming. I think at one point we each had an average of five birds in our hands. Insanity. Would I do it again, oh yeah.  Then before leaving we snagged a gi-normous bag of kettle corn and this sweet pic. People seem to find it hilarious that my nephew is driving, but lets be honest, it’s the easiest spot to put a twenty month old. And it’s fun having the sisters as pumpkins (or why argue over who the driver is). Okay it is funny. The rest of the weekend was quite enjoyable, complete with viewings of Bringing Up Baby, Abbot & Costello meet Frankenstein and Clue. We had more than enough popcorn for the movies. A very successful sister’s weekend.

Well, I’m on a bit of a guest blogging roll here!

You can read my latest guest post over at Scottish Mum’s blog, where I’m discussing popular parenting approaches through the years, and explaining Jan Fortune-Wood‘s ideas about the power of parenting ‘memes’.

Thank you @Scottish_Mum.

If anyone else, with a related blog, is interested in a blog swap, please do get in touch!

A FREE 8 x 10 photo canvas. (All you pay is shipping. )

This is the photo I used to make the first canvas.

I honestly didn’t believe it, but took a gamble and bought one.

I sent a photo canvas of Dragon Egg to my in-laws. They were delighted and said the product looked amazing.

Then this morning, I noticed that the sale was still going on. I didn’t think I could get the deal more than once, but tried to purchase a second photo canvas for myself.

It worked! The total comes to around $15 for shipping. Pretty awesome.

If you’re interested in making your own photo canvas, check this deal out for yourself! (click the link below)
The Canvas People

1.    Rio Bravo (1959)

2.    Bringing Up Baby (1938)

3.    Hatari! (1962)

4.    Only Angels Have Wings (1939)

5.    To Have and Have Not (1944)

6.    His Girl Friday (1940)

7.    Scarface (1932)

8.    Red River (1948)

9.    Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

10.  The Big Sleep (1946)

11.  The Thing from Another World (1951) (Co-directed with Christian Nyby)

12.  Twentieth Century (1934)

13.  Ball of Fire (1941)

14.  Monkey Business (1952)

15.  The Big Sky (1952)

* * * ½ (Out of * * * *)

1.    El Dorado (1967)

2.    Ceiling Zero (1936)

3.    The Criminal Code (1931)

4.    Air Force (1942)

5.    Land of the Pharaohs (1955)

* * * ½ (Out of * * * *) Anthology Films

1.    O. Henry’s Full House (1952) (Segment: “The Ransom of Red Chief”)

Film: The Words
Directors: Brian Klugman, Lee Sternthal
Writers: Brian Klugman, Lee Sternthal
Year: 2012
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Dennis Quaid, Olivia Wilde

Two more films this week: Bringing Up Baby and The Words. Bringing Up Baby is a comedy from the ’30s and The Words is a drama currently in theatres. Again, once I have the time I will look into analyzing them. But for now I want to at least include them so what I have seen is up to date and listed.

Trying to get my work under control so I can have some free time to try to start writing SOMETHING.

WADDY

Cover via Amazon

Good day!

I remarked to a friend the other day that for me, a sign of a good movie is if you can get my heart involved and make me cry.  In the past, if I needed a good cry but couldn’t get anything out, I would rent a movie that I know could make me cry.  (By the way, now that I’m writing again, and taking care of disturbing or hurtful memories, I don’t think I’ll need to rent ”crying movies” – for that purpose, anyway.)

When I had cancer – now that would’ve been a good time to watch some old movies.  But I just took a lot of naps after work and forgot to watch a movie. 

And now I’ll get to the main point of why I’m posting today.  If you’ve never seen the movie “Bringing up Baby” with Katharine Hepburn,  click on these links – I’d advise you see it.  This was the first movie I ever saw Ms. Hepburn in, and she made me a fan for life.   This movie is a madcap comedy that made me laugh almost immediately, through the whole show.  The chorus of the song she and Cary Grant sing often during the movie makes me smile when I think of it.  “I can’t give you anything but love, baby”…

If you laugh and smile today, know that I will be doing that right along with you.

Whenever I do something clumsy (which is actually quite often)  - I may be heard to exclaim – “OH, DAY-VID!” – simply because of this movie.

The AFI has listed this little film as #14 on it’s list of the best laughs in the last 100 years and, though I might move it a bit farther up the list, I agree with this accolade.  I love Cary Grant.  I love Katharine Hepburn.  I love clever dialogue.  My favorite line?  ”In moments of quiet I’m strangely drawn to you, but, well, there haven’t been any quiet moments,” (David, Grant’s character, to Susan, played by Hepburn).  My favorite scene?  Well, there’s too many for me to name just one…  When Susan steals David’s car…when a rather important portion of Susan’s wardrobe goes missing…the meet cute between David and Baby…when David follows George obsessively all through a formal dinner…when Susan is a heel after losing her heel…when the two leads are submerged in a “shallow” stream…when Susan successfully talks her way out of prison…I could go on (and on and on).  Seriously.  Go rent it.  If you appreciate classic films, you will not regret it!

Then there’s the rest of us. Who need a little time to adjust to this new person in our life.  Who wonder why positive, loving emotions don’t immediately spring forth when we see our newborn. And quietly wonder whether we’re missing something vital to being a mom.

This post is for those latter women.

I purposefully got pregnant. I spent years dreaming about hearing the pitter-patter of little footsteps in my home. I spoke to my unborn child as he grew in my womb and loved feeling every wiggle within me. I even occasionally enjoyed being pregnant.

So why, when he was finally ready to enter this world, did I not feel happiness?

Why, when they told me I needed to be induced and that I’d be having a baby today, did I begin to cry in fear?

Why did I not want to be left alone with my baby those first days?

The reasons for my initial fear, distress, and sorrow may stem from:

1. My maternal age – I spent seven blissful years married without kids. I had a career that I loved. I was enjoying life and doing what I wanted when I wanted to do it. Having a baby changed all of that.
2. I wanted to be excellent at being a mom without any job experience – I thought something magical would happen after I had a baby. That being a mom would be as natural as making a baby. In my opinion, nothing can prepare you for those first days of mothering. Nothing came easily to me. From breast feeding to extreme fatigue to constant crying (both from the baby and from me).

Before I depress you further, let me comfort you by saying that now that I’ve adjusted to this new life I am finding my rhythm with my baby.

I have found happiness in this new life.

I do not regret having a child.

And shockingly, I would do it again.

Here’s what I think helped me the most to transition into my new life:

1. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. I knew several people who had babies around the same time that I did. Their babies always seemed happier, healthier, and easier some how. I don’t think this was reality, but as a new mom, anything looked better than my home. Tip: minimize your exposure to Facebook/social media.
2. Take the time to mourn your old life. I think this is why God has babies start out life not remembering anything from those first couple of years. It gives you the time to adjust and cry. Cry, cry, cry. Just let it out. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your child. It just means that life has changed drastically and you need to mourn the old and adjust to the new. Tip: have Kleenex available at all hours. Trust me, the water works can turn on at any time.
3. Get out of the house, with baby, and spend time together. I had to get out of my house after Dragon Egg (DE) arrived. It felt as though the walls were closing in on me. I didn’t know where to go. A coffee shop? The mall? I was panicked that DE would cry in public or need to be breast fed. I didn’t feel confident about breast feeding discreetly in public (this improved over time), so I couldn’t really relax when I went out. Not to mention, I didn’t want to start spending money that we didn’t have. So my solution was to start hiking. I would pick easy trails, strap Dragon Egg to my chest, bring a bottle of water, and listen to music. And something magical happened. I relaxed. He slept (something he refused to do at home during the day). And I was able to clear my head. The sun felt wonderful, the breeze renewed me, and I was able to take a small respite from my life. Not to mention I was down to my pre-baby weight quicker than I anticipated.
4. Find a good friend who’s been through this before. This was particularly important, because my closest relative lives 22 hours away. My good friend, Betsy, kept checking on us those first months. Also my sister-in-law would call regularly. These two women helped me so much in those first few months. I would contact one or both and sob about how hard everything was and tell them exactly what was on my heart. Just knowing that someone had survived this experience and kept reminding me that “this will get better” helped.
5. Talk to God. My first night alone with DE, he had a massive meltdown. I felt helpless and actually ended up screaming to God at the top of my lungs. It’s my firm belief that God doesn’t want beautiful, well thought out prayers from us. Instead, he wants to hear what’s in our hearts. He is with me during my struggles as much as He is with me during my celebrations. Constantly and truthfully talking to God helped me adjust and center during this massive life change.

How about you? What helped you adjust once baby came home? Anything you’d add to the list?

What’s even harder is watching the social elite lose their baby fat in just weeks after giving birth, while simultaneously not losing a step in their careers.

The bottom line: Having a baby is portrayed as something you can be perfect at.

And there’s nothing I love more than striving for perfection.

So when I became pregnant, I had all of these visions of being the perfect mom.

In my day dreams I imagined being organized,

my house was spotless,

my baby loved to be where ever I put him and for as long as I put him there,

he never cried,

and overall he would sit and stare contently up at me, cooing occasionally.

My husband was relaxed and while I didn’t fetch his slippers when he came home, as I’m a modern woman you see,

I did provide a loving, quiet atmosphere for him to come home to.

Here’s where reality enters.

I’ve been a mom for almost six months and this is a bit more what my life looks like.

My house is occasionally clean. This only happens because I keep a running list of daily chores. We are very far from having a spotless house.

Keeping more than two things in my head at once is very difficult. I frantically write down everything before the idea rushes from my memory. This includes writing down: take a shower. Sad, just sad.

My child, though he is beautiful and wonderful, does not stop crying when I tell him to. Some days he’ll play quietly by himself for several blessed minutes, while other days he just wants to be held.

I have mastered the art of carrying a 15lb baby on my chest and preparing dinner, vacuuming, or doing the laundry. No problem. (enter sarcasm)

And as for that quiet atmosphere for my husband to come home to… If I can get Dragon Egg (DE) to bed before he walks in the door, there may be quiet, otherwise, it all depends on the night.

The first couple of months after DE was born he cried every night from around 6pm to 10pm.

Inconsolable… Crying.

So as a new mom and in search for support in this new life venture, I sought out books and articles about how to raise a baby. While there was occasionally something helpful, I discovered that all of the information was stressing me more than I already was and causing me to think I was this horrible mother. I started thinking: maybe I don’t have motherly instincts? Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be a mom? Maybe I should give up and just go back to work and hire a nanny to raise my kid? Am I really cut out for this?

My guilt ran deep.

Then one night as I was crying on Matthew’s shoulder (once again), apologizing to him for not being a good mother, he stopped me and reassured me that my instincts were good. That this was a new situation that would take time to adjust to. That he loved how I mothered.

I was floored.  Someone thought I was a good mother?

From that point on, I stopped reading the self-help books, watching movie stars flaunt their perfect post-baby bodies, and prayed my way through my days.

I can’t say that I’m amazing at mothering, but I’m getting better every day. Simply giving me and DE a break from the need for perfection is helping. Realizing that there will be good days and bad days. That houses will constantly need to be cleaned and overall, this is only a season in my life.

This is my time to hold my baby a little longer than necessary. Sit outside and sing to him. Settle for Hamburger Helper for dinner and just soak in this season.

There will be time for big career moves and spotless homes in my future.

But for now, I’m going to go at DE’s pace and enjoy the respite from the rest of life and the need for perfection.