The British Virgin Islands

 

The British Virgin Islands are Still Virgin.

Why do most Caribbean island only show you the water in their ads?  Maybe it’s because their beaches are full of giant high rises and people trying to sell you parasailing adventures.  Not the British Virgin Islands.  The beaches have more shells than people.  They’re the islands for those who would rather spend the morning peacefully snorkeling the sunken Baths of Virgin Gorda or scuba diving a shipwreck at Anegada than haggling over trinkets.  Rather stay at a uniquely tasteful world-class resort, a quaint inn or luxury villa than a tourist hotel.

Find out why experienced yachtsmen and divers from all over the world consider Tortola, Virgin Gorda and the 60-plus British Virgin Islands to be the water sports capital of the Caribbean.  1-800-888-5563,

Visual source:  bareboatsbvi

For lack of a better term – I am a “foodie.” I mean, who isn’t nowadays.  Thanks to the success of Top Chef, Hell’s Kitchen, and the like, every Mac-N-Cheese eating, sugar cookie burning schmuck is ranting and raving about the stylistic approach to sous-vide cooking, idolizing celeb chefs like rock stars, and detailing the complexities of pork belly and bone marrow.  (With that said, if you are yet to taste either the belly or marrow, you have my sympathy.)

However, a great restaurant does more than just serve up good food, delivering a certain level of shock-and-awe, mesmerizing the guest and making them come back for more.  Hmmm, sounds a lot like what a great hotel is supposed to do, right?  For that reason, hotel restaurants are no longer a by-product of the hotel itself, but instead, a leading demand generator and a hotel marketers dream.

I didn’t realize the marketing power of a great hotel restaurant until I spent time working at a Relais and Chateaux resort and restaurant in the British Virgin Islands. Relais and Chateaux is a collection of the finest resorts (see The Point, The Inn at Little Washington) and restaurants (French Laundry, Daniel, Per Se) in the world. Point is, I couldn’t believe the pull our restaurant had on bringing in guests.  And while some guest surveys touched on the rooms or service, almost all applauded the restaurant.

Of course, on the other hand, if a guest has a poor dining experience at the restaurant, the front desk is bound to hear about it.  Even in the likely scenario where the restaurant is a leased space/separate entity, a hotel guest views them as one. That being the case, shouldn’t hoteliers equip their property with the best restaurant possible?

The partnership of fine dining and luxury hotels isn’t new.  But years after Jean-Georges moved into Trump in NYC and Wolfgang Puck hit Vegas with Spago at Caesar’s, the explosion is officially upon us.  Just look at the recently opened Aria in Las Vegas’ City Center, boasting a practical who’s who of culinary artists.  With restaurants by Julian Serrano, Jean-Georges Vongeritchen, Michael Mina, and Masayoshi Takayama, Aria drew in a constellation of Michelin stars.  Is this enough to put heads in beds? This “foodie” has been on the horn booking my Aria suite for Spring 2010.

-Mike Kitchen

Is it surprising that people respond to incentives?

The number of directors of British companies who have registered in the Channel Island tax havens of Jersey and Guernsey, along with the Isle of Man has risen by almost 500 in the past 12 months.

All three are Crown Dependencies and as such can set their own tax rates.

The British Virgin Islands, a popular tax haven in the Caribbean, has seen an 18 per cent rise on a year ago.

Those who are leaving what they see as the mainland’s punitive tax rates include highly paid bankers and hedge fund mangers along with entrepreneurs running luxury travel companies, healthcare, property firms and call centres.

Britain’s financiers and entrepreneurs are quitting the UK at a rate of 10 a week to avoid Labour’s new 50% taxes, according to The Times.

The burgeoning exodus threatens to deepen a £178 billion black hole in the public finances and leave middle-class voters with higher taxes for years to come, figures obtained from Companies House reveal.

The number of directors of British businesses registered as living in the low-tax centres of Jersey, Guernsey or the Isle of Man has risen by almost 500 to 6,729 in the past 12 months.

The British Virgin Islands is also a popular destination, with 615 directors of UK companies now based in the Caribbean tax haven — an 18% rise on a year ago.

Those known to be fleeing the UK include hedge fund managers, property tycoons, bankers and people who made their money setting up companies organising private healthcare, call centres and luxury holidays.

“The UK model is broken,” said Stephen Hedgecock, a partner in Altis, a £1 billion hedge fund company with 35 staff that has relocated to Jersey, leaving only a small presence in London.

“It’s not just the 50% rate — it’s National Insurance, the treatment of pensions … everything. It’s just a ridiculous amount of taxation.”

Russell Newton and Danny Masters, co-founders of Global Advisors, another hedge fund with hundreds of millions of dollars under management, also abandoned London for Jersey’s thriving finance community in the summer.

Another 100 Britons have begun working in the island’s businesses since the downturn began two years ago. The Jersey government said it had seen a 20% increase in interest from people looking at moving to the island. A new marketing brochure published by the island’s authorities promises “in Jersey, keep more of what you earn”.

The authorities impose corporation tax at 10% and income tax at 20%. There is no inheritance tax or capital gains tax. Property taxes are also low.

Jersey Finance, an agency set up to attract financial talent to the island, has held a series of private dinners in London to woo new residents. Geoff Cook, the agency’s chief executive, said: “The 50% tax rate does seem to have been the tipping point for many people.” However, the island’s authorities maintain that the rich often favour Jersey because of the easy access to London, the sandy beaches, low crime rates and the use of English as the first language.

“There is a lot of interest right now,” said Nigel Philpott, the Jersey government’s head of high net worth residency.

“Last year I was getting one or two calls a day from people who wanted to come and join us. Now I get four or five on some days.”

Paul Bater, 52, a former bank manager from Swansea, is so happy with his move to Jersey that he has allowed himself to be used as a case study in promotional literature for Jersey Enterprise. “I love living in Jersey. The pace of life is much more civilised than anywhere else I have worked,” he said.

John George, the owner of Jag Communications, the UK’s third biggest mobile phone retailer, has moved to Guernsey, Jersey’s neighbour.

The 48-year-old businessman now commutes by private plane to his company’s office at Perranporth, Cornwall. The journey takes just 30 minutes — and ends at his privately owned airfield.

“It’s very easy, very straightforward and I never get stuck at the lights or any of that,” said George. His office is fewer than five minutes from the airfield.

His wife Susan, who joined Jag’s board in March, is one of 498 directors and partners of UK companies identified on a list from Companies House of those who now give their addresses as Jersey, Guernsey or the Isle of Man. A further 91 UK companies have registered in these islands in the past year. The research also includes islanders who have joined the boards of British firms in the past year.

The tally, assembled by Philip Beresford, compiler of The Sunday Times Rich List, represents one of the first attempts to quantify the scale of the exodus.

For years considered little more than family holiday resorts, Jersey and Guernsey have become a playground for the rich in recent years, with Michelin-starred restaurants, luxury spas and hotels. Almost one in five of the island’s workers has a job in financial services. There are nearly 3,000 experts who help people set up trusts and companies — a rise of 12% since the onset of economic downturn.

It is a similar situation in the Isle of Man, which says it has seen a 20% growth in the non-banking financial sector.

The influx has also proved lucrative for Jersey’s estate agents. James de la Cloche, director of Edge, a property consultancy, said: “We love Gordon [Brown] and Alistair [Darling] over here — we rather hope they get another term.”

Meanwhile, City bankers and dealers are turning to libel and privacy lawyers to try to stop the media scrutinising their earnings, assets and lifestyle. Bankers say the row over their bonuses means they are seen as targets.

They complain of being pursued by paparazzi, of reporters trawling through their social networking sites and long-range telephoto lenses being trained on their living rooms.

Winemakers Dinner – December Series – British Virgin Islands.

Good Food – Good Wine – Best Settings
Recipe  follows
Ingredients
1.worlds finest wines
2.food from the top chefs around the world
3.spectacular caribbean setting

Details:
7 top chefs from around the world joins with 7 great winemakers from Germany, Italy, Argentina, USA & France. to make your taste buds dance with delight.Chefs will prepare a seven course gourmet meal in the spectacular Caribbean setting which will be paired with the best wines.It promises to be another very memorable evening with great wines, great food and great company

After each dinner guests will get a chance to know the winemakers and the chefs and an insight into the dish’s preparation and the wine’s selection.

BVI Tourist Board is the founding sponsor for 2009 – 2010 Dinners.The proceedings from the winemakers dinner will go to the BVI Charitable fund,Co-Chaired by the Premier of the British Virgin Islands, the Hon. Ralph T. O’Neal, OBE and Ajit Mathew George, Managing Director, Nail Bay Resort.

The December Series of Winemakers Dinner starts on

December 2nd 2009 with VIP reception at Norman Island hosted by Mr. Myron Walwyn and Dr. Henry Jarecki.The reception will feature a Pirate’s theme as Norman Island is reputed to be the inspiration for Robert Louis Stevenson’s epic “Treasure Island”.This VIP Welcome Reception is in honor of all the visiting and local chefs, winemakers and sponsors.

Dec 3rd 2009 – dinner at Baraka Point, Virgin Gorda , British Virgin Islands – hosted by Jennifer Bogdany and Timothy Johnston

Dec 4th 2009 – dinner at Frenchmans Lookout, Tortola, British Virgin Islands  -

Dec 5th 2009- dinner at Giorgio’s Table, Virgin Gorda, British Vorgin Islands.

The top chefs include -

Chef Vikram Garg- Halekulani, Hawai

Chef Heidi Davis Benyair – Biras Creek Resort, British Virgin islands

Chef Otto Borsich – City Hall, Arthouse, Texas

Chef Anne Burrell – Secrets of a Restaurant Chef – Food Network Star

Chef  Taekyung Chung – Chung Cooking Studio, Tokyo, Japan

Chef Albert Kramer- a special invitee  of the Hon. Ralph T. O’Neal, OBE, Premier of the British Virgin Islands.

Chef  Giorgio Paradisi  -Giorgio’s Table Restaurant, Virgin Gorda, BVI

Chef Roberto Treviño – Budatai, Puerto Rico

Chef Matthew Webb  – Guana Island and Norman Island, BVI

The wine Makers-

Antoine and Quentin Paillard, Champagne Pierre Pai

Andrés Belinsky, Cheval des Andes

Larry Stone, Rubicon Estate

Anselmo Guerrieri Gonzaga, Tenuta San Leonardo

Andrés Belinsky, Terrazas de los Andes

Gerhard Grans, Weingut Grans-Fassian, Leiwen

Johannes Haart, Weingut Reinhold Haart

Does the age old rule – pair red wine with red meat still prevails- lets join one of the dinners and findout

More details on the official website winemakersdinners.com

All eyes of the extreme sports world will be on the British Virgin Islands in anticipation of the inaugural BVI Kite Jam, taking place March 1-5, 2010. Five days of inter-island events including flat water freestyle, waves, sliders and racing, plus A-list parties on some of the destination’s top locales will serve to highlight the destination as a kiteboarding Mecca for riders from around the globe. Book your tickets now! Check out the site!

Sandy The Bluenosed Reindeer
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I will be in a small sailing boat called “Stargazer” with Tuts, Captain Timmy Carstephen, Nicky “Mighty Whitey” Russel and The “First lady of ALL The Virgins” The Good Lady Delia. We will be on our way to spend the day with our old friend “Sir Foxy”, (recently Knighted by The Queen Of England, honest) in Jos Van Dyke, in the British Virgin Islands.

As Thanksgiving is the traditional start of the “Christmas Music Season” and because I am a sentimental fellow who really loves Christmas and further because a little sprite of a spirit did entrust me with the responsibility for bringing her story to you,) Here is “Sandy The Bluenosed Reindeer” (A little Christmas Operetta) (Both Music and Script) I sincerely hope that you and your little ones will enjoy “Sandy The Bluenosed Reindeer” for many many years to come. Here is the Music “Sandy The Bluenosed Reindeer” with The Script below. P.S. The young lady singing “Island In The Rainbows” is Tasha McCauley. Unbeleivably, she was only 10 years old at the time. Enjoy!

A Christmas Present for Santa
The story of
“Sandy The BlueNosed Reindeer”A Musical in One or Two Acts
by
Scott Fagan

. All Rights Reserved.
Scott Fagan Music ASCAP
St. Thomas, Virgin Islands
scottfagan@lilfishrecords.com

SANDY THE BLUENOSED REINDEER
RUNNING TIME:
29:11 Minutes (Approximately 40 Minutes with 10 minute Intermission)

Synopsis
A Warm and humorous musical story about a little female reindeer sent to the North pole as a Christmas present for Santa, one Christmas eve a time ago, by the Girls and Boys in the home for almost forgotten children some where in the tropical Islands…

Sandy has been sent to Santa to help him with his warm weather routes, but she will have an awful lot of shiverin’ and shakin’ to do and an awful lot of wondering where she fits in, before anyone discovers the purpose and true value of this extraordinary Christmas present for Santa.

In the end, Sandy leads for Santa when it’s time to go any where around the world that it doesn’t snow, and becomes the perennial favorite of (and there’s an awful lot of) places in the world where all the Christmas’s are hot!

ACT ONE………………………Christmas Eve, a time ago

ACT TWO……………………….As time passed

CAST OF CHARACTERS

THE NARRATOR (A colorful Tropical Island character, male or female)

SANDY THE BLUE NOSED REINDEER A young and very simpatico female Reindeer, with a Blue nose. She will progress in age from Baby to pre-teen.

SANTA CLAUS A right Jolly old Elf.

MIZ CLAUS A warm, maternal and practical Elf lady

THE CHORUS (As many as you like, they will double as…)

THE GIRLS AND BOYS (In the Home for almost forgotten Children)

SANTA’S ELVES (Lefty, Righty, Blackie and Whitey, Brownie, Yellow, Shorty and Longfellow

SANTA’S REINDEER (Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen

SANDY THE BLUENOSED REINDEER

ACT 1.
SCENES

1. Opening scene The Narrator – Now you’ve asked me to…
2. The Home for almost forgotten children somewhere in the Tropical Islands
3. That ‘ol Pelican Pilot
4. When she woke up it was cold and dark
5. My name is Sandy and I’m Cold!
6. This looks like a job for Santa!
7. So Santa and his Reindeer got something that Christmas they didn’t really want
8. Sometimes somethings

ACT. 2.
SCENES

1. Now remember it was Christmas Eve
2. Everyone loves Toys Toys Toys
3. Once Santa had wrapped his wonderful warm arms around her
4. So Santa had to…
5. As time passed…(Island in the Rainbows)
6. Santa and his crew knew exactly what to do. (Sing a Happy song).
7. It was HOT!
8. The Narrator to finale
9. Curtain Call and…
10. Merry Christmas all over the World

SET LIST

Narrator’s backdrop
The Home for almost forgotten children
Sweet Green Islands in the Beautiful Blue sea.
The North Pole
Santas’s Workshop
Santa’s Sleigh
In the West Indie

SANDY THE BLUE NOSED REINDEER

The Songs:

1. THEME Sandy the Blue Nosed Reindeer
2. A Christmas Present for Santa
3. Sometimes Somethings
4. Lefty Righty
5. Toys toys toys
6. Island in the Rainbows
7. Sing a Happy Song
8. THEME (Reprise) Sandy The Bluenosed Reindeer
9. Merry Christmas All Over The World

AUTHORS NOTE:
I would place The Chorus on stage and utilize parents, teachers or other interested adults in The Chorus as desired. The “magical transformation” from chorus singer to costumed character (when doubling) may add to the fun if it occurs in view of the audience
My staging suggestion is simple, have fun and lots of it!
Merry Christmas!

SANDY THE BLUENOSED REINDEER

Act One
SONG # 1 SANDY THE BLUENOSED REINDEER
(Sung By Chorus, as stage is being set, and lights slowly come up)

CHORUS: And now they’ve made a place for her…
in Reindeer history too…

We’ve all heard of Rudolph, who’s nose was shiny bright
and how he guided Santa’s sleigh through the foggy night
But there’s a little Reindeer who’s nose is icy blue
and now they’ve made a place for her in Reindeer history too.

Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees.

Then one night it happened down in Port of Spain
the other Reindeer got so hot they started to complain
“Let me help you Santa” her voice was sure and strong
and that’s how Sandy found her way into a Christmas song

Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees.

Now Sandy leads for Santa, when it’s time to go
Any where around the world that it doesn’t snow
The Boys and Girls all love her y’know. there’s an awful lot
of places in the world where all the Christmas’s are hot

Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who’d believe a Reindeer who’s nose was icy blue
but now they’ve made a place for her in Reindeer history too…
.

Lights come up to reveal THE NARRATOR (Male or Female, characteristics are optional)
THE NARRATOR walks to the front of the stage and speaks directly to the audience.

NARRATOR: Now you’ve asked me to tell you the story of Sandy the Bluenosed Reindeer
and I will …But I’m thinking.. you could also call this story “A Christmas Present for Santa”
Cause she was sent to Santa one Christmas a time ago, by the Girls and Boys in the home for almost forgotten Children, Somewhere in the Tropical Islands.
HOME FOR ALMOST FORGOTTEN CHILDREN, SOME WHERE IN THE TROPICAL ISLANDS ( It’s Christmas Eve and a ragged but cheerful group of Girls and Boys are lovingly brushing and grooming a little Blue Nosed Reindeer, they decorate her with ribbons and bows as they sing.)

SONG #2 “A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR SANTA”

GIRLS AND BOYS: (Alternating lines)
All Because we’ve heard it’s better to give than to receive
Girls Because you never ask for much , except that we believe
All Because you’re such a good soul, and Jolly Jolly too
Girls Because we think that you love us as much as we love you

Boys Because you’re always giving and never never take
All except sometimes a little milk some cookies or some cake
Girls Because she’s so so special,
Boys because it’s Christmas eve
All Because a million times because, Merry Christmas Santa Claus

Girls Up in the sky with his flying Reindeer
Boys Going loop de loop like he doesn’t know fear
Girls Who is the man made of so much fun
Boys He’s willing to share his joy with everyone

UNISON:
Santa it’s you so we thought we would
Send you a present cause you’ve been so good
Kindly and gentle and dear old man, We know you’ll understand

COUNTERPOINT SECTION:
Boys Because we’ve heard it’s better. to give than to receive
Girls Who do we don’t see to say thank you to

Boys Because you never ask for much , except that we believe
Girls Who’s like a dream in a dream that comes true

Boys Because you’re such a good soul, and Jolly Jolly too
Girls Racing the sun to a million places

Boys Because we think that you love us as much as we love you
Girls In every one leaving smiling faces

Boys Because you’re always giving and never never take
Girls Driving a sleigh that no jet is faster

Boys except sometimes a little milk some cookies or some cake
Girls First to get through natural disaster

Boys Because she’s so so special, because it’s Christmas eve
Girls Braving the coldest and hottest weather

Boys Because a million times because, Merry Christmas Santa Claus
Girls Who tries to keep the whole thing together

UNISON:
We’ve sent a Reindeer who’s nose is blue
because we believe she’ll be a help to you
Kindly and gentle and dear old man
we know you’ll understand.

Because a Million times because…
Merry Christmas Santa Clause

NARRATOR: I can just see that old airmail Pelican flying along with his little bundle, wriggling and rolling over to her tummy, foots sticking out front and back, kicking and learning to fly. Foots up, foots down, foots up, foots down, just like you do when you’re learning to swing in the beginning. Foots up, foots down, foots up, can you see her? She’s doing fine… flying along nice and easy and the warm sun shining down on her such a rich chocolate-brown. Shining down on those coconut trees and those sweet green Islands in the beautiful blue sea, just the color of Sandy’s nose.
Like I said I don’t know exactly where they were coming from, but they were going along in the warm for quite some while, and that little Reindeer was kicking foots as strong and as smooth as could be maybe even giving that old Pelican Pilot a rest now and then. Foots up, foots down, foots up.

CHORUS: Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze, Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees

NARRATOR: Y’know, It’s a big and a wide wide world that we live in, and after a time that little Reindeer curled up in her little bundle and took a nap. Just like you little critters do. Maybe she knew where she was going and dreamed a dream or maybe not. I don’t know, but I do know she didn’t know it was going to be cold where she was going, and I do know she didn’t know it would be dark, and that’s just what it was, when she woke up it was cold and dark and she was scared too! Now there’s those Northern lights up there and they light up the sky kind of like a cosmic rainbow so it wasn’t too dark but there’s no electric heaters in the snow

CHORUS: (Comes up under NARRATOR)

Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told

NARRATOR: (Continues)
and no radiators around the North Pole, so it was cold

Cause who’d believe a Reindeer

and she was shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees

Didn’t like the cold

and if her nose was Blue before,

Who believes in Reindeer

boy, you shoulda’ seen it now

Who’s little noses freeze

That’s just how the other Reindeer first saw her

Shivering and shaking

Standing in the snow, shivering and shaking and knocking like a clock

and knocking at the knees

Her nose was the color of a blueberry popsicle.

DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN:
Jumping Jet planes!!

NARRATOR: They said.

COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN:
Look at this one, we don’t believe it.

DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN, COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN:
This looks like a job for Santa!

CHORUS:
Who believes in Reindeer, who’s little noses freeze,
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees

NARRATOR: So BLITZEN zoomed over to Santa’s house and got him!

SANTA: Jumping jet planes!

NARRATOR: Said Santa.

MIZ CLAUS: Oh Santa!

NARRATOR: Said Miz CLAUS

SANTA: I don’t remember asking for a Bluenosed Reindeer

NARRATOR: Said Santa

SANTA: I’ve never even heard of a Bluenosed Reindeer

DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN, COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN:We’ve never heard of a Bluenosed Reindeer either

NARRATOR: Said the other Reindeer

SANTA: Who ever heard of a Bluenosed Reindeer?

DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN, COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN: We all know the Red nosed one

SANTA: But a Blue nosed one?

DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN, COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN: No!

MIZ CLAUS: Never!

SANTA, MIZ CLAUS AND THE REINDEER: None!

SANDY: (In a trembly little voice) My name is SANDY, an.. I’m Cold!

NARRATOR: Said the mizzable little critter

SANTA: Swooping satellites!

NARRATOR: Said Santa

SANTA: Who ever heard of a Reindeer that didn’t like the cold? I didn’t ask for a Reindeer that didn’t like the cold…

MIZ CLAUS: Santa , she’s cold

NARRATOR: Said Miz Claus

MIZ CLAUS: And her little nose is Blue, she’s shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees. What are we gonna’ do?

SANTA: Let’s take her in the house!

NARRATOR: Said Santa Claus

MIZ CLAUS: Poor little shivery shaking Bluenosed thing…

NARRATOR: Said Miz Claus.

CHORUS: (In background) Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told

DASHER AND DASHER AND PRANCER AND VIXEN: Did you see that?

CHORUS: Cause who’d believe a Reindeer

NARRATOR : Said DASHER AND DASHER AND PRANCER AND VIXEN

CHORUS: Didn’t like the cold

COMET AND CUPID AND DONNER AND BLITZEN: Santa didn’t ask for a Bluenosed Reindeer that doesn’t like the cold!

CHORUS: Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze

COMET AND CUPID AND DONNER AND BLITZEN: We wanted some rocket packs!

NARRATOR : Said COMET AND CUPID AND DONNER AND BLITZEN

CHORUS: Shivering and shaking

DASHER AND DASHER AND PRANCER AND VIXEN: Say, where’d she come from anyway.

CHORUS: and knocking at the knees

NARRATOR : So Santa and his Reindeer got something that Christmas they hadn’t asked for, maybe didn’t really want, and sure didn’t think they’d ever need. That’s how it is sometimes, we don’t get what we want but we do get what we need, and don’t even know it. It happens to me ,
I’ll bet it happens to you too… sometimes.

SONG #3 SOMETIMES SOMETHINGS (Sung by Narrator)

Sometimes something happens in a funny way
something we think shouldn’t happen anyway
Sometimes something happens that we didn’t plan
Something sometimes that we barely understand

Sometimes it won’t help something to try and guess
Somethings we know sometimes happen for the best.

Sometimes something hides the sun and clouds the sky
Something passing as we let sometime go by
Sometimes something disappoints us bringing pain
Rainbows wouldn’t happen if it didn’t rain
Sometimes something happens to us we forget
Something sometimes we don’t know the good part yet.

End Act One

Act Two

NARRATOR: Now remember it was Christmas Eve, and Santa and Miz Claus and all of Santa’s reindeer and helpers and all of Santa’s friends, had quite a bit to do…

SONG # 4 LEFTY RIGHTY BLACKIE AND WHITEY (Sung by Santa and his Elves)

SANTA: Lefty Righty Blackie and Whitey

ELVES: Working together with Santa Clause

SANTA: Brownie Yellow Shorty and Longfellow

ELVES: Working together well just because

SANTA: They want to show it can be done

SANTA AND ELVES: Working together’s lots of fun

ELVES: Lefty Righty Blackie and Whitey

SANTA: If little elves can do it so can we

ELVES: Brownie Yellow Shorty and Longfellow

SANTA AND ELVES: Everybody’s one big family

SONG # 5 TOYS TOYS TOYS (Sung by Santa’s Elves)

Toys toys toys toys – toys toys toys toys
Every one loves toys toys toys

Way up here in Santa’s shop, when we start we never stop
Cause every toy’s a thing of joy and every body wants a toy
Arche wants an aeroplane, Billy wants a ‘’lectric train
Carrie wants more Star Wars stuff, Children just can’t get enough
Toys toys toys toys, Every one loves toys toys toys

Drucie wants a doll that walks, Ellie wants a doll that talks
Frankie wants a baseball bat, Sister Gale a football hat
Holly wants a new doll house, Izzy wants a rubber mouse
Jamesy wants a teddy bear, Katie wants a game that’s fair!

Imagine a world without toys, An awf-’ly boring place
not much fun for girls and boys
But don’t be sad cause it’s ok There’s something we could do about it
everybody sing and shout it! Toys..

LITTLEST ELF: (Just learning his manners yells to the others) Hey! Shouting’s not polite

dont’cha know that?

SANTA: Hmm… Ok then every body sing! Toys toys toys toys, all we want is toys toys toys.

Way up here in Santa’s shop, when we start we never stop
Cause every toy’s a thing of joy and every body wants a toy
Lele wants a two wheel trike, Maggie wants a three wheel bike
Nattie wants and ice cream truck, Orvil wants an Easter duck
Poonah wants a boxing glove Queenie wants a fish to love Roscoe wants a jumping rope, Sarah wants a microscope
Tito wants a frog that sings, Uta wants a magic ring
Virgil wants an oogie board, Wanda wants a pirate sword
Xosa wants a kite that hums, Yone wants a kettle drum
Ziggy wants a cash machine, a racehorse and a Limousine

SANTA: (Looking perplexed) A cash machine? a racehorse? a Limousine?

ElVES : Toys toys toys toys – toys toys toys toys
Every one loves toys toys toys!

NARRATOR: Now once Santa had wrapped his wonderful warm arms around her,
Sandy wouldn’t let him put her down for anything. So Santa had to
check all his lists, get his Reindeer reined,
Pack up his sleigh, thank all his helpers,
give Miz Clause her see you later kiss and take off.. With a baby bluenosed Reindeer in his arms.
Then he had to, drive his sleigh, carry his bag
climb down chimneys, fill stockings, sort and set out presents,
eat his cookies, sip his cocoa and get back up chimneys with a baby bluenosed Reindeer in his arms. If you saw Santa that Christmas you know that one Christmas a time ago, he had a baby bluenosed Reindeer in his arm when he came to your house.

CHORUS: (In background) Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer… didn’t like the cold

NARRATOR: As time passed. nobody knew what in the world Sandy was doing up at Santa’s workshop. She wanted to be wanted but what good could she really do? Shiverin’ and shakin’ and knocking little Elves off of shelves and all, wherd’d she fit in? It looked like every thing she did was wrong.

SONG # 6 ISLAND IN THE RAINBOWS (Sung by Sandy and Santa)

SANDY:
There’s a place that I know
that I sure wish I could go
Far away, it’s an Island in the Rainbows
Somewhere far across the sea
I can hear it calling me
But I can”t go it’s an Island in the Rainbow
Rainbow days… far away,
Green and Gold and Purple too
Rosy Red, Yellow and Blue

SANTA: How I wish that I knew it were true

SANDY AND SANTA: Maybe someday you and me
we could fly across the sea
see if there could be
an Island in the Rainbows

SANDY: Rainbow days… far away,
Green and Gold and Purple too
Rosy Red, Yellow and Blue
I wish I could show it to you

SANDY AND SANTA: Maybe someday you and me
we could fly across the sea
see if there could be
an Island in the Rainbows…

NARRATOR: She sure was feeling bad , but Santa and his crew knew exactly what to do!

SONG #7 SING A HAPPY SONG (Santa, Miz Claus all the Reindeer and Elves and Joined by Sandy at the end)

I’ve got a secret that I’ll share with you
because it’s something that we all can do
when I’ve got troubles and my world is blue
I just sing a happy song.

Sing a happy song, then things won’t seem so wrong
sing a happy song
Sing a happy song, the world will sing along sing
a happy song

Great grand father’s bedroom drapes were drawn,
we thought for sure the dear old boy was gone,
but just as Grandma sighed “Poor Grandpa’s died
he cried… Sing a happy song!
SANTA: All together now!
Sing a happy song, one I can sing along
sing a happy song
Sing a happy song,then things won’t seem so wrong
sing a happy song

( INSTRUMENTAL DANCE SECTION (Everyone))

SANTA: And a one and a two and a three.Everybody
Sing a happy song, then things won’t seem so wrong
sing a happy song
Sing a happy song, the world will sing along
sing a happy song…

NARRATOR: By the next year Sandy’d gotten too big to carry all the time just like you have, but she still went everywhere that Santa did, so naturally she jumped shiverin’ and shakin’ right into Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve and off they went, and the further south they went the less and less she shivered, and the more warm it became the less and less she shook, and by the time they got to Port of Spain, Trinidad, in the West Indies , it was hot!

DASHER, DANCER PRANCER AND VIXEN: SHEEEESHHH!

NARRATOR: Said DASHER, DANCER PRANCER AND VIXEN.

COMET, CUPID, DONNER AND BLITZEN: We’re worn out, we can’t go another step!

NARRATOR: Said COMET, CUPID, DONNER AND BLITZEN.

SANDY: (With Chorus) Let me help you Santa.

NARRATOR: (With Chorus) Her voice was sure and strong

SANTA: Jumping Jet planes!

NARRATOR: Said Santa

SANTA: Now I know where you belong!

NARRATOR WITH OS CHORUS:
Now Sandy leads for Santa when it’s time to go
any where around the world that it doesn’t snow

NARRATOR: (With CHORUS under) And the other Reindeer love her cause
there’s an awful lot of Reindeer that get tired when the goings gotten hot!

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Sandy is the Reindeer whose story’s never told

NARRATOR: Y’know sometimes if we have a hard time when we’re little

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold

NARRATOR: It helps us to understand when others are having a hard time too, and then
maybe we can help them

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Who believes in Reindeer

NARRATOR: That’s how Sandy is,

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) who’s little noses freeze.

NARRATOR: She knows how it feels to be cold and scared and lonely

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) shiverin’ and shakin’ and knocking at the knees

NARRATOR: and it makes her feel real good to help Santa bring happiness and joy

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Sandy is the Reindeer

NARRATOR: to girls and boys all around the world

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) who’s story’s never told

NARRATOR: big girls and boys too!

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Cause who’d believe a reindeer

NARRATOR: Santa doesn’t forget us just because we grow up you know.

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) didn’t like the cold

NARRATOR: So Sandy turned out to be

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Who’d believe a Reindeer

NARRATOR: a wonderful Christmas present for Santa ,

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) who’s nose was icy Blue

NARRATOR: he didn’t know he wanted, NARRATOR:but he’s really glad he got

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) But now they’ve made a place for her

NARRATOR: Sandy the Bluenosed reindeer

CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) In Reindeer….

NARRATOR: who’s happy when it’s hot!

CHORUS: (Up for big ending) history too…….

NARRATOR: I wonder how they knew Santa needed a Bluenosed Reindeer anyway…

SONG #8 REPRISE (repeat) THEME: SANDY THE BLUE NOSED REINDEER

We’ve all heard of Rudolph, who’s nose was shiny bright
and how he guided Santa’s sleigh through the foggy night
But there’s a little Reindeer who’s nose is icy blue
and now they’ve made a place for her in Reindeer history too.

Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees.

Then one night it happened down in Port of Spain
the other Reindeer got so hot they started to complain
“Let me help you Santa” her voice was sure and strong
and that’s how Sandy found her way into a Christmas song

Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees.

Now Sandy leads for Santa, when it’s time to go
Any where around the world that it doesn’t snow
The Boys and Girls all love her y’know. there’s an awful lot
of places in the world where all the Christmas’s are hot

Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who’d believe a Reindeer who’s nose was icy blue
but now they’ve made a place for her in Reindeer history too…

Curtain Calls
OPTIONAL

NARRATOR: (to audience) And now here’s a Christmas Present for you!

SONG # 9 ENTIRE CAST:

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL OVER THE WORLD

Merry Christmas all over the world
(Christmas time Christmas Time)
Yes it’s Christmas all over the world
North and South (night so different from the rest)
East and west (special night we love the best)

CHORUS: Ahh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh
SPOKEN: Gladelig Jul, Feliz Navidad, Joy-ah Noel

CHORUS: Ahh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh
SPOKEN:Sheng tang qui-lo, Bon Natale, Jeradvum Kristnovum

CHORUS: Merry Christmas all over the world
SPOKEN: In every corner of the Earth, Man celebrates a child’s birth

CHORUS: Christmas time, Christmas time
SPOKEN: and sings the heart of human kind, and shines the light of love divine

CHORUS: Yes it’s Christmas all over the world
SPOKEN: That the children who are the children who were and the children who will be

CHORUS: Christmas time, Christmas time
SPOKEN: Forever have in memory this magical miracle night so good that is peace and love and brother hood

CHORUS: Merry Christmas all over the world
Christmas time, Christmas time
Yes it’s Christmas all over the world
Every where the soft wind blows, every where that Jack Frost goes

CHORUS: Ahh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh
SPOKEN: Fraulacht Wil-nachten, Bly-gee Kirstdagen, Meli Kalekemaka

CHORUS: Ahh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh
SPOKEN: Hari Natal, Gaha Christnasto, Tanoshee Karitsumasi

CHORUS: Merry Christmas all over the world
SPOKEN: Faraha Malingi Karitmasi

CHORUS: Merry Christmas all over the world…
SPOKEN: Mara-id al-mi-lad, Alice Changa mi lad ha note sri..

SPOKEN: (All) Merry Christmas…We love you Santa!

The End

If you are interested, you will find individual MP3’s for the individual songs, at www.lilfishrecords.com

PROTECT YOUR HAIR SUBSEXY!

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So the wedding came off without a hitch. The winds were warm and romantic. The lanterns were glowing and the music was amazing. The tent, the flowers, the food, the cake, the wine, all the elements united in wedded celebration. Despite all the last minute changes and upsets it was the most beautiful, magical day.

I just returned from our honeymoon in the British Virgin Islands which was incredible. I am of course a sincere spa lover and the Spa at Little Dix Bay in the British Virgin Islands did not disappoint. One of my favorite treatments was the Virgin Gorda Goat Milk and Honey Body Wrap.
I feel compelled to share the skin softening secrets.

First use a dry brush to invigorate and exfoliate your skin. When dry brushing start at the extremities and move toward the heart using a circular motion.
Next blend fresh Goat Milk, Raw Honey and Organic Banana into a rich cream and apply all over the body.
Then wrap up in warm towels while the cream soothes every cell.
After 20 minutes rinse with warm water in a shower and admire your supple, glowing skin.
You could also mix the cream with a Golden Path Alchemy Herbal Mask for a mini-facial.
I didn’t get the exact recipe form the spa so experiment. Find the blend that makes your skin shine!

In most cases, dogs and the beach go together like biscuits and gravy (which would be two good dog names.)

I never had dogs when I was growing up.  My father was not a dog person.  I might never have had the extreme joy and privilege of owning a dog were it not for Pat.  We had agreed after we bought the house that we would wait a year before getting a dog.  That lasted exactly three months, and we adopted Tug (best dog EVER).

I’d always liked dogs, just never had the opportunity to be around them much.  My friend Harriet had a mutt named Bilbo, who was pretty nice – a little hyper, but fun to romp with.  The lady who lived across the street had a seeing-eye German Shepherd named Queenie, who always barked at me when I went past, and made me kind of nervous. 

My early formative dog experiences were when I was around seven years old.  Our neighbors in the duplex next door had dogs – Mrs. McCullough had a puppy named Gremlin, who I was allowed to play with on the stoop after school (unless I had been bad).  The neighbors in the other side of the duplex had a Jack Russell mix named Ethelred, who liked to imitate ambulance sirens.  But one of my first and most memorable dog experiences came at Topsail that year.  I met a very nice young woman who was staying at the now-torn-down Florida Apartments, and she had a beautiful German Shepherd named Brandy.  We spent lots of time together during those weeks we were there, playing on the beach.  She let me come and feed him in the evenings (I thought Gravy Train was disgusting, and decided from watching commercials on TV that if I ever had a dog, I would feed him Ken-L-Ration, because it looked tastiest to me.  I must admit, though, I liked the little chuck wagon driving into the dog food bag on the Gravy Train commercials.  But now that I think about it, maybe that commercial was for Chuck Wagon.  Hmmm.)

I don’t remember the woman’s name, but she sent me a picture of myself in my little pink swimsuit, sitting on the beach petting Brandy.  I still have it.  I truly loved that dog, and I cried when they went home.

Since then, as I said, thanks to Pat, I’ve had dogs of my own.  Champ and Roscoe are our third and fourth dogs, and I still consider them mine, even if I don’t/can’t have custody.  But I’ve never had my own dog at a beach.  They’ve always been semi-adopted.

When Kelsea was about four, there was a dog next door to the beach house named Hank – a big, happy white Lab who liked to play with the sand crabs.  This past year, there was one pup who swam out to rescue us, even though we didn’t need rescuing, because it was just what he did – check on people in the water to be sure they were okay.

Dogs always seem so amazingly happy at the beach.  Room to run, water to play in, things to chase – the epitome of freedom.  Tug would have loved it, as he was always wading in creeks, rivers, drainage ditches, puddles.  J.T. was more skittish around water, so he might not have been such a fan.

My travels in the British Virgin Islands have led to many wonderful dog encounters.  Of course, first and foremost, are the Jost van Dyke dogs (known as potcakes or coconut retrievers).  They belong to everyone and no one, but are always fed and housed somewhere.  Trixie, whose recent passing I am still mourning, was the queen of Jost.  Dog-in-residence at the Soggy Dollar Bar/Sandcastle Hotel, she spent her time lying in the sand, being cuddled by the owners and the occasional special guest like my friend Diane, and being petted by thousands of day-trippers.  We always had our special goodbyes, she and I, those moments before I left, when we would look into each other’s eyes as I rubbed her little belly.  She joined every table at dinner and at breakfast, just to say hello, never to beg. 

Chi-Chi is probably my personal favorite.  He has a bum leg, but still manages to get around just fine with his awkward gait, bustling from White Bay to Great Harbour throughout the day.  He liked to come sit with me on quiet mornings in my hammock, or at my feet on the lounge chair, and just look at the blue of the water.  When I stayed at Sandcastle, he would come to my cottage for naps.  I remember one afternoon when I had let him out after he had napped in the chair as I was dressing for dinner.  I opened the door to leave and there he was again, right on the mat – with two of his potcake friends.  Apparently, he had let them know that this cabin was the place to be.

Paco has been the center of melodrama – I’m not sure if he’s still on island.  Prior to my last visit, I had heard that he’d been killed, which saddened but did not surprise me, as the locals do not like the island dogs (and vice versa).  But upon my arrival, I was told that he had actually been smuggled off the island because he was is such danger from one particular local – sort of like a doggie witness protection program – and was now living happily and safely with a family.

The previous managers of the Soggy Dollar had a black lab named (appropriately) Dollar.  I didn’t know Dollar well, as he spent much of his time with Sandy the manager.  She and Roger have since moved on to greener pastures, and I expect they took Dollar with them, as I know what an animal lover Sandy is.

On my second stay there, I recall meeting a sailor with an adorable puppy in his arms.  He was from Canada and he and his wife had adopted the dog, and then sailed away on their boat.  The puppy loved everything about the beach and sailing.  He particularly loved eating all of the furniture in the salon and all the teak on the boat.  The husband was ashore with the puppy while the wife was having some “quiet time” aboard.  I believe the husband was actually saving the puppy’s life and the wife’s sanity.

There were also several dogs who would lead tourists to the Bubbly Pool on the east end of Jost.  I encountered different dogs at different times, but they would always meet you at Taboo (the restaurant) and take you down the path, stopping to wait for you to catch up if they lost sight of you.  Once you arrived, the dog would depart, but would generally return after a time to lead you back.  I don’t know if they’re still hanging around – I’d heard that the lead dog had been poisoned -  but they were certainly helpful.

The remaining Jost dog-character is Taboo, Foxy’s black lab (no doubt related to Dollar).  Taboo is one cool cat.  Can you use that term when talking about a dog?  He’s big and loves to roll around in the water and then come rub his sandy self up against you.  He also likes to abscond with flip-flops – he’s done so with mine.  He doesn’t eat them, just nuzzles them.

Island hopping, we move on to Virgin Gorda.  When we stayed on Virgin Gorda in May, we were befriended by the resident dogs at Guavaberry: Soca and Pearl.  They were wonderful. They loved to play with their toys and roll in dead seagulls.  Always there to greet us when we came down to the beach (unless they were asleep on their beds at the hotel office), they would follow us, even as we climbed around on the giant rocks.  Soca was particularly faithful and protective.  He followed us on a climb that I would have thought impossible for a dog, barking to let us know when he couldn’t see us anymore, or was having trouble finding a doggie-foothold.  They both came back to the cottage with us on a couple of occasions, with Soca dozing in the shade on our porch.  As that was really my only stay on VG, I can’t say I’ve become acquainted with any of the island’s other pups, but I’m sure they are many and marvelous.

Finally, we jump off to Anegada.  Ah, Anegada.  On my first trip there, I had the privilege of meeting Rambo.  Rambo was a potcake like Trixie.  In fact, they looked remarkably similar, except Rambo was older and chubbier.  He was doted on by the Soares family and was indeed a little love.  Sadly, he was accidentally run over while sleeping underneath a local cab.  Many tears were shed. 

Other notable pups on the white sands have been Boats, another adorable white lab who was, as his name suggests, a boat dog. 

There was Belle and Alex’s semi-pitbull who ate one of my favorite flip-flops. (It was my fault, as I forgot them there when heading home one night.  I must say that it’s wonderful to be in a place where you can actually forget your shoes and not notice until the next morning.)  He was apparently only a passing fancy, as I never saw him again.  And there was Shoe-Stealer from our last trip.  I can’t recall his name, but he played an exquisite game of keep-away with a flip-flop. 

That about sums up the cast of canine characters.  Now, beach cats are another story…

Richard Bransons private island hideout offers Free Night Offer. When you book for 6 nights pay only for 5 or better stay 9 nights and pay only for 7. Rates starts at $51,000 /night for upto 28 guests . Rates include the Main House, both Balinese Houses, Seven Percent Local Tax, all meals and drinks (alcoholic or otherwise), fabulous staff, and use of all of the equipment and/or facilities they have. WOW!! for more details you can visit there website here

Somehow I was under the impression that Necker was above offers and specials and was surprised to come across their special. Looks like after effects of Recession (is it end yet?) is running its course.

This video from you tube give you a peak into this beautiful island.. many dubbed as raw emerald anchored in a pool of turquoise

I ran out to get cat food and then to the Market Of Choice just to grab some Ramen Noodles and Yogi Calming Tea to have a quick, cheap snack at home with a friend in need who stopped by.

I was going to go to yoga, and do some homework for the 3 classes I am taking this semester at PSU, but your violation of my privacy and peace of mind upended my entire evening and probably my weekend after I’m through sorting out repairs and replacements.

You were probably scoping the parking lot for people like me who felt safe and believe they live in a nice enough neighborhood where they can leave their home doors open in the afternoon or run in to get a few groceries, like me: with just a cell phone and the necessary bank card to travel light and not have to lug in bags in order to take more heavy bags out. You were probably in this particular grocery store lot because it’s kind of upscale, with hard-working people who drive decent cars in a good community.

You probably think I was just some little rich bitch who could afford to have her well-maintained, red Volkswagen Rabbit broken into and not have it take any serious change out of my bank.

You were wrong, jackass. I’m a newly married, 1 year resident of Portland. I’m a college student and I keep my things nice because I pay for them and honor the work and balance it takes to maintain an orderly lifestyle that is not beyond my means. And it’s not the pride in the car – I paid extra money to buy a Tri-Met pass so I can ride the bus to school so as to NOT drive the car everywhere and it can’t be replaced – it has to be repurchased. The unfortunate thought is,  some derelict dipshit like you would happily ride public transport for free on my dime, so they don’t issue me another one for free. Thanks a lot, you freeloading douchebag.

It took me nearly 9 months to find part-time work for a psychologist. I got the job on my birthday and it was a gift after I had a car crash and minor surgery all last year but came out healthy and happy and back into the work force. After you broke into my car, I was timely enough to cancel my personal credit cards and freeze all activity on my credit report before you tapped into them. But that didn’t stop you – you took the business card belonging to my kind, socially and ecologically sensitive and responsible boss. You took a card, that with my job so new, it wasn’t even in my name yet. It belonged to the woman who worked there previously and I used it mostly to buy flowers for the office. You cleaned out the checking which subsequently withdrew further into the linked savings account. You stole not only from me, but from someone who you could probably stand to see for emotional and psychological help, you morally depraved social miscreant.

Damn shame your absentee mother was an emotional suckhole when present and didn’t love you enough to teach you right from wrong and your father was a treacherous carbon-based life form, soaked in alcohol and permanently affixed to the living room chair when he wasn’t getting a ride home from the police. Everybody hurts, bitch, and your suffering is not special and the world doesn’t owe you a seat-warmer in a snowstorm. Your beginnings aren’t your only road map, you have the ability to toss the shitty hand you are dealt and to overcome – especially in this country. You have the power to decide if you’re going to turn out like Nelson Mandela or Charles Manson. Seems like the wrong people are in prison, but some people still manage to embrace life and not take it. You have too much leisure time. You need to work, contribute, make sense, make love, build and fill your life with meaningful people instead of robbing people in order to make your life easier, you lazy turd.

I know times are hard. I know jobs are scarce. I know people are hungry. I know it costs more than a quarter now to call someone who cares . . . but you stole not only my important IDs and cards, you took paper and snapshot memories of trips to Rome and to the British Virgin Islands. You took a moleskin sketchbook I have carried all over the world to write in and jot notes of things I want to read and learn about. You took a dog-eared paper copy of our wedding vows that I carry with me to remind me, to be grateful and to think back on the beautiful day my life changed and moved forward in love and companionship in this crazy world. You took fortune cookie papers from dinner nite’s out, letters from friends, reminders and receipts, my favorite lipstick and a very functional nylon, waterproof purse my husband bought for me as a gift before seeing the Blue Ridge Parkway on a beautiful Summer day in Virginia. I am glad I have my memories, my health, and my husband – the cards and IDs can be replaced, but you took some very important keepsakes, you heartless bastard. There was $5 in that Japanese paper wallet I received from a dear friend for my birthday many years ago. You should just send my bag back to the Market Of Choice, minus the one card you went shopping with. Do one thing right in your whole worthless life. Lucky for me, my old driver’s license was in my wallet so you don’t have my address. You do, however, have some handsome pictures of my husband. An intelligent, kind, respectable man who works for a living and provides a comfortable, stable life (unlike you and yours) and whom I carry in my heart and carried with me wherever I went until you took the wallet with the pictures. I want those back too, you greedy fuck.

I’d hoped you bought some diapers and groceries for your family or paid some medical bills or fixed your car or bought some presentable clothes so you can find a job. I’d really hoped you didn’t waste it on frivolous bullshit that most people buy whether or not they can afford it. But you went on a little shopping spree at Target, The Auto-Zone, Sears, EB Games, Fred Meyer and Safeway, Radio Shack, plus a few other random nonsense places ranging from $75-$400 a pop. Really? Your vacuous, emotional needs were met at a video game outlet?!?! I hope that purchase was for the child you never spend time with. No – I take that back, I hope you spend time with your child.

No – forget all that . . . I hope you haven’t reproduced at all. Shitty examples of humanity shouldn’t be replicated and populated into more window smashing, thieving-ass fools.

I am stung, but acknowledge that I must be more vigilant, that my senses were telling me not to park there; that you were probably the creep pretending to talk on his cellphone but were actually just swimming between cars like a shark looking for prey. I described you to the police and the car you parked all retarded and cock-eyed. Here I was, worried you would back out and ding me, but you were more the hit-and-run type. There’s security cameras monitoring the parking lot and though I neglected to memorize your plate, if that WAS you, the cameras and backup have it. I did manage to remember that big, dumb cranium of yours and so will they . . . in jail.

It’s all on video too, fuckhead, and a CD his being burned for the police investigator, as is the record of all the store locations by number that you essentially “robbed” in your route. Soon enough, total frauds like you are going to go down the hard way. Despite the senselessness in random acts of vandalism, theft, murder and general fuckery in the world, I still believe in the positive nature of the universe. I have witnessed that there exists a beautiful chaos and a balancing system in which the practice of goodness is paid in kind and the asshatery practitioner loses the head to put it upon. Living like you do, especially if you cross the wrong person, and you will, this all leads to inevitable consequences and death, and death is the ultimate equalizer. I trust you will arrive there well before I do, you miserable prick.

But it’s all good . . . your ignorant, selfish act has reminded me that it’s ok to lose things and that I will still survive. That it’s good to take stock and periodic (or in this case, forced) downsizing once in awhile is a necessary regulating system. I am reminded to unclutter, to simplify and to cut unhealthy, unnecessary attachments that don’t serve me. I don’t need “stuff” to be happy or to live. And that even after my mood, my day, and my organizational flow are turned on their respective heads, my husband and friends can strip all the worry away and take me to dinner to get my mind off it all and prove I can still eat and sleep well knowing I am thought of, respected, and loved. This is more than you may ever have. This is the emptiness you try to fill with “things” that never will. This lack is what drives you take what isn’t rightfully yours. This is where your skewed sense of value ruins your life. This is more than likely, your fucking problem.

No matter how many windows you break, how much you steal, how many people you wrong, how many places you go, how many times you start over, you will never get over the mountain of lies you tell or out of the rotten, bottomless place you dwell. Not until you join the civilized, sweet part of humanity. The part that doesn’t take from each other so weightily that it causes them to suffer. The part that gives, even to a fault. The part that honors the idea that we are the keepers of our brothers and sisters and we lift ourselves by lifting them up as well. The part that strips it down to the basics, and points out the blessings and is grateful for the people that try, even in thin times, to comfort and feed their loved ones when they realize that something has been taken, but all is not lost.

I know you won’t read this. I know you don’t give a shit, not really, else you wouldn’t have taken such a careless shit on my day. You wouldn’t have smashed and dashed like a common criminal. You would’ve kept walking and kept waiting and kept hoping for a change in your life or imagine it – get out of the twisted, polluted, self-absorbed cycle you’re mired in and do something the fuck about it. You, sir (I guess this by your string of purchases) don’t deserve the honorific, courtesy title of a man and are truly lost. And I hope that you are found.

By wolves.

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Today, I’m fishing… doing something I actually know something about… trout fishing.  I’ll be on the Truckee River throwing streamers trying to fool some brown trout.

This is more on-topic… some BVI bonefish action.

2 Nights Free! at Nail Bay Resort, Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands

Take advantage of this special offer; stay 7 nights and pay only for 5 nights plus one 30 minute massage FREE in our Spa at Nail Bay Travel between: August 18- December 14, 2009 excluding Thanksgiving week Booking between: August 18- October 17, 2009 Disclaimer: Not applicable to Packages or bookings made.

the weather has been gross and it’s only going to get worse.

i wish i was here right now:

rock & roll

the devil?

wedgie

fresh

indy!

peas & carrots

cousin power!

bikini power?

baywatch

heaven is a place

where nothing ever happens

bird

wish you were here!

little cuz

beach babe

good morning sunshine

rocky 3

and it's still overcast

the view

tree house

bomba shack

stanky leg

lonely swimmers

break!

reggie!

backdrop

cloud 9

goodbye bvi

The 15th season of the H. Lavity Stoutt Community College performing arts series kicks off this weekend with Bajan musicians Arturo Tappin and Allison Hinds. Tappin is a smooth jazz and jazz/reggae saxophonist who has played with many recording artistes including Luther Vandross, Eddie Grant, the Wailer Band, Toots, Third World, Maxi Priest, and Dean Frasier. He is based in New York, but is strongly linked to his homeland Barbados. Tappin is referred to as a cross between Teddy Pendergrass and Kenny G. He is also referred to as the smoothest, ‘saxies’t horn man the Caribbean has to offer.

Allison Hinds, on the other hand is one of the most popular soca singers in the world. She has officially been given the nickname the “Queen of Soca.” Allison has topped charts even in countries in which soca is not a popular musical form. She was born in London and moved with her mother to her hometown in Barbados at the age 11. Allison produced her first hit in 1996 with “Raggamuffin,” a song with which she won that year’s road march in the Crop Over festival. In 1997, one of her songs once again won the road march prize as well as the party monarch award. She was the first woman to win these titles in Barbados.

Tappin performs on Friday evening, while Hinds takes the stage Saturday.   

For more go to http://www.bvinews.com/entertainment/8024.html

Le Isole Vergini Britanniche sono una delle mete predilette fra le isole caraibiche grazie alle acque cristalline, ai ricchissimi fondali, alla moltitudine di baie e insenature orlate dalle lunghe spiagge di sabbia fine e arricchite da una natura lussureggiante che lascia letteralmente senza fiato.

Le BVI (British Virgin Islands) sono posizionate nella parte nord orientale dei Caraibi, contano circa una sessantina tra isole, isolotti e scogli a pelo d’acqua, disposti a corona attorno al Sir Francis Drake Channel ove la natura regna sovrana ovunque.

Mappa delle BVI

Devono il loro nome alla fantasia e alla devozione di Cristoforo Colombo che, quando le avvistò la prima volta, impressionato dal fascino acerbo delle loro coste le battezzò “Las Once Mil Virgenes”, in omaggio a Sant’Orsola e alle undicimila vergini compagne del suo martirio.

Oltre ad essere paradisi naturali incontamnati le BVI sono anche luoghi carichi di fascino e storia, racconti di avventure e pirati.

Il famoso romanzo di R.L. Stevenson “L’isola del Tesoro”, che tutti noi abbiamo letto in giovane età, con il piccolo Jim Hawkins e il famoso pirata John Silver è stato ambientanto proprio qui.

Pare che la mitica isola del tesoro sia Norman Island (o per alcuni Peter Island) descritta dal piccolo Jim come “…boscaglie grigiastre vestivano gran parte della sua superficie. Quella tinta uniforme era interrotta nella zona più bassa da strisce di sabbia gialla..”.

E  i pirati alle BVI c’erano davvero e in queste isole compirono molte delle loro gesta in particolare durante la guerra corsara degli inglesi contro i galeoni spagnoli che si volse in queste acque.

Le BVI sono state descritte per secoli  come “the place on the way to everywhere”, isole ricche di approdi agevoli e nascosti, sulla rotta ideale fra Europa e Americhe.

Scoperte da Colombo che arrivò qui durante il suo secondo viaggio in America nel 1493, le BVI furono colonizzate dagli Spagnoli che entrarono in contatto con le popolazioni locali di indiani Caribe.

Dopo i primi tentativi di collaborazione, gli spagnoli abbandonarono ogni speranza di “conversione” degli indios delle isole, le cui abitudini di vita giudicarono terrificanti, e così, verso la metà del cinquecento, l’imperatore Carlo V ordinò ai propri sudditi e ai governatori inviati nel nuovo mondo che gli indiani venissero “trattati come nemici e combattuti “senza quartiere”.

Ed è forse proprio da questi atteggiamenti così drastici che nacquero le prime forme di pirateria marinara; dapprima fra gli Indios perseguitati, poi in seguito da una vera folla di avventurieri internazionali che potevano contare su speciali “protezioni” da parte dei governi nemici della Spagna, all’epoca la più forte e ricca nazione del vecchio continente.

Infatti le principali nazioni europee che in quel momento non erano in grado di sfidare direttamente la superpotenza spagnola incominciarono a finanziare sottobanco atti di pirateria ai danni dei galeoni spagnoli che solcavano il Mar dei Caraibi carichi di ricchezze.

La marina militare assicurava protezione alle navi mercantili a un prezzo che spesso era un atto di pirateria esso stesso.

Secoli di grandi traffici quelli del dominio spagnolo: le navi, cariche dell’oro degli Aztechi e degli Incas, dovevano guardarsi dalle insidie del mare, da quelle degli scogli e delle barriere coralline a pelo d’acqua, ma soprattutto, dalle aggressioni di pirati e bucanieri.

Le mille calette nascoste delle Vergini con le loro barriere coralline che imponevano passaggi obbligati erano un vero paradiso per le necessità di vita di questi “nobiluomini”.  Soper’s Hole su Tortola o The Bight a Norman Island divennero leggendari covi di pirati.

Il braccio di mare che divide Tortola dalle isole situate più a est, Norman Island, Peter Island, Virgin Gorda e altre minori, prende oggi il nome da Francis Drake, pirata della Corona, nominato “Sir” (baronetto) dai reali d’Inghilterra.

E’ il 1595 e Francis Drake condivide con Sir John Hawkins quelle che saranno le sue ultime avventure marinare. Dopo unfallito assalto a Portorico,moriranno entrambi di malaria.

Sir Francis Drake

Una vita difficile quella del corsaro oltre alle malattie, le ferite e i difficili combattimenti in mare, la pena più classica in caso di cattura era l’impiccagione a meno che questo non fosse tanto sfortunato da capitare tra le mani dell’Inquisizione che normalmente preferiva trastullarsi con punizioni ben più raffinate

Tanti i corsari conosciuti  alle BVI: Henry Morgan, Calico Jack, noto per la sua storia d’amore con la donna pirata Anne Bonny, Jost Van Dyke, Bartholomew Roberts e l’ineffabile Edward England, deposto dalla sua stessa ciurma, disgustata per la ferocia con la quale trattava i prigionieri. Ancora, Edward Teach detto Blackbeard (il leggendario Barbanera) che tra un assalto e l’altro si riparava nell’isoletta di Dead Chest, tra Virgin Gorda e Norman Island.

E’ fra queste isole che si svolgerà la nostra prossima avventura Sail&Diving in catamarano (Lagoon 500) alla scoperta dei paesaggi dei relitti sommersi e naturalmente del mare delle sue storie e delle sue aventure…

A green turtle named Suzie, whose travels through the Caribbean are being monitored after she tag this past June, seems to have a preference for British territories in the region. In a voyage that has included more than five hundred miles since early summer, she has only traveled from the Tirks and Caicos Islands to the British Virgin Islands, and most recently to the island of Anguilla. Is it the food? The language? The beer?

London’s Telegraph newspaper reports that the adult turtle, purchased from a fisherman at Turks and Caicos, was fitted with a tag by a Marine Conservation Society (MCS) project to conserve turtles in the area. Peter Richardson, MCS Biodiversity Programme Manager, said scientists were surprised to see how far the turtles migrate – and even more surprised when she stuck to UK territories. “Suzie’s journey is a remarkable first. She was the first turtle ever to be fitted with a satellite tag in the Turks and Caicos Islands, and her journey has told us for the first time that three of the UK Overseas Territories in the Caribbean, hundreds of kilometres apart, share green turtle populations,” he said. “We would never have predicted that she would visit three UK territories in a row without stopping at any of the other countries on the way. Suzie has revealed that each of these territories has a responsibility to look after their shared turtle resource.”

Each of the UK Overseas Territories takes a different approach to the management of their turtle fisheries. For example, while the Turks and Caicos Islands protect eggs on the beaches it allows the capture at sea of any turtle with a shell over 20 inches at any time of the year. The Government of Anguilla, however, imposed a 15-year, temporary ban on all turtle fishing in 2005 in order to allow their turtle populations to recover.

The MCS said the new study shows how important it is for all the islands to protect turtles.

For the original report go to http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/6249735/Green-turtle-that-sticks-to-British-islands-in-the-Caribbean-baffles-scientists.html