The big question is how did this viral campaign start?  The company denies starting the campaign and no one can pinpoint a specific place in which it began.  It’s the classic “chicken or the egg” argument.

From my perspective, the origins of the fad are immaterial.  What matters is that, for some unknown reason, this fad has caught on. Why has it been so successful?  I can think of three reasons:

(1) It’s Interesting – People don’t pay attention to boring things.  This is different and unusual, so people wind up paying attention to it.  In today’s 24/7 communications landscape, getting someone’s attention is more than half the battle.

(2) It’s Personal – Person-to-person communications are almost hard to ignore.  They can’t be deleted like an email or ignored like a FB post.  One reason for the success of Bros Icing Bros is that at its core, it’s about people are talking to one another  about Smirnoff Ice.

(3) It’s Simple – We’re not talking about a 14-point legislative agenda, or a complicated plan to save the world.  And therein lies the beauty of the Bros Icing Bros campaign.  It’s simple, so simple that even idiotic frat boys can understand it.

Let’s just hope this goes away soon.

*Video: The History of the Typewriter Recited by Michael Winslow. Whom you may know from a series of Steve Guttenberg cop movies whose name must not be uttered. Watch this video. Also, ask me some time about my 1937 Royal Deluxe. [pocket monster]

*Beverages: Beer in a Box. In the fridge. In my mouth. [notcot]

*Books: What classic books wouldn’t get published today? Robert Rowland Smith says “The Waste Land.” “Lolita.” I want more. Not just a graf on it. [mktg]

*Videogames: I was unfamiliar with Theremin Hero until today. TODAY, a day that will live in infamy. Anyway, I don’t even really know what’s going on here, nor the actual day of the week.

*Twitter: Some links from Twitter people: Samhey writes Simultaneity, a story that feels like a modern-day cross between Kafka and Bulgakov. And these two drink guides from Insooutso and Sloganeerist are well-written, informative, thirst-quenching, and feel somehow also life-giving. Huh?

*Pets: Laurie Anderson’s Music for Dogs, a concert for DOGS reminds me of Bros Icing Bros. In what way, I don’t exactly know. YET.

*Today’s links: F.

p.s. Face it. Being iced by your grandmother would be the ULTIMATE ICE.

Popular New Drinking Game Raises Question, Who’s ‘Icing’ Whom?

Thomas Frank – Obama and the Gulf Spill Anger

So, let me get this straight. These people run around town with a six pack of Smirnoff Ice, plotting inventive ways to dupe their friends while constantly on guard to ward off impending attacks? Sounds like a lot of work to me.

The real winner in Bros Icing Bros is, undoubtedly, Smirnoff Ice, a drink that hasn’t been relevant since the Zima craze of the mid 90s. While we’re all laughing at the jackass chugging an Ice mid-workout, Smirnoff is laughing all the way to the bank.

Posted by Abby

Onto the mail!

Jared Allen looks like Jeremy Piven with his new haircut.

-Jake, @steaker on twitter

Why yes, the more I look at it, yes he does.  That means that Jared Allen went from looking like an awesome redneck to an Entourage-looking douche bag, all because he’s whipped by his fiancee.  Ahh, the power of p*ssy.  I thought the mullet was hot.

Do the Jets repeat as best defense or improve it? OR do teams figure out scheme and Jets slip down…

-Giancarlo, from Coral Springs, FL

On paper, it looks like the Jets have the best defense that the NFL has seen for a while.  Last year, the Jets had the number one defense in the NFL, so you have to think that the Jets improve since they added some more weapons to their secondary.  The only way to beat the Jets last year was to pass on their number two corner (just ask Peyton Manning), so they addressed that need by signing Antonio Cromartie and drafting Kyle Wilson.  I think the Jets repeat the year as the number one defense, and this time the gap is even wider.

And now, time for the WWJND Top Ten!

1. New Orleans Saints – (last week’s ranking: unranked) Saints get the top spot this week.  The Superbowl champs repeat as the top-ranked Madden team, having an overall ranking of 92 in Madden 11.  In other words, the Saints are basically an all-star team.

2. Jared Allen’s non-mullet – (last week’s ranking: unranked) Allen’s non-mullet was receiving a lot of attention amongst fans last week.  I have a feeling that Allen’s non-mullet is going to cause him to suck.  Better start growing it back.

3. Mark Sanchez - (last week’s ranking: half of him was ranked at 8) Sanchez always seems to be making the news, even in the offseason.  Kid has the potential to be the next golden boy of the NFL.  Not to mention, I saw him over the weekend at some skateboarding tournament on the Fuse channel (it’s not like I really wanted to watch that, it was playing at a bar).  He looked hot.

4. Bros Burritoing Bros – (last week’s ranking: unranked) Bros Icing Bros is for kickers and quarterbacks, bro.  Bros Burritoing Bros is for lineman.  Bro.

5. Bros Icing Bros – (last week’s ranking: 2) Drops down a few spots, simply because BURRITOS ARE WONDERFUL AND FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND LIFE AFFIRMATION!!!!  No, but seriously.  No icings spotted around the NFL.  Sanchez, Leinart, Cutler…you’re fucking slacking!

6. Jeremy Shockey – (last week’s ranking: 5) Drops one spot, because he’s not really talking about his collapse last week.  But, the Saints DID say that he didn’t have a seizure.  In other words, he was really fucked up on lots of liquor and Percocets and cocaine severely dehydrated.

7. Green Bay Packers – (last week’s ranking: unranked) They weren’t in the rankings last week, but that’s because they didn’t have semi-scandalous news.  The Pack almost had a love boat incident when seven Packers were questioned with connection to a sexual assault allegation. Fortunately for them, the women who accused them changed their story, so the charges are expected to be dropped.

8. The Sacramento Mountain Lions – (last week’s ranking: unranked) Daunte Culpepper has officially signed with the Mountain Lions.  Get ready, because the Mountain Lions are going to tear up the UFL.  I’m not gonna lie, I’m strongly considering attending the Culpepper homecoming game vs. the Florida Tuskers in the Shitrus Bowl.

9. Tony Romo – (last week’s ranking: unranked) Romo attempted to be a professional golfer again last week, proving again that he hates football.  Romo withdrew from the US Open qualifier, after playing like dog shit.  Real winners don’t quit, Romo.  I’m sure Romo feels that it’s better to quit than to choke.

10. Lil Jon – (last week’s ranking: unranked) WHAT?!?!! OKAY!!!!! Thomas Jones (with with hot girlfriend, Meagan Good) and Antrel Rolle were spotted at Lil Jon’s Crunk Rock album release party.

The latest trend to hit colleges & offices: Icing

I first heard of it a few week’s ago from my friend’s fiance in California — he and his friends surprise each other with Smirnoff Ices and if you don’t have an Ice on you, you have to get on one knee and chug it. How bizarre, I thought. And isolated to his ultimate frisbee set, I assumed.

Or not. Apparently “icing” people is a hot new trend on college campuses and now in offices. On Friday, the first icing occurred in my office, as the colleague who sits behind me went to investigate an unplugged computer monitor and found an Ice taped to the underside of his desk. TRAGIC.

Intrigued? Apparently, it all started a while ago on a South Carolina campus, according to this CNN article on the phenomenon. It’s epicenter is the blog Bros Icing Bros, which went from a slow trickle of entries to hundreds of submissions a day in just a few short weeks. The first few pages (they only go back to 21 right now) are kind of boring: after the moment shots of “bros” drinking on one knee, with some explanation as to how they got iced. Around page 15 it starts to get good: people taping ices to bikes, hiding them in shoes, even high-powered bankers getting in on the action.

Here are my current faves: Boston Terrier delivers an Ice, someone hangs and Ice from the ceiling, girlfriend tricks her boyfriend with a donut box,  and some devious office mates rig the copy machine. There are more, and surely they will just get better, until the trend peaks (oh, Icanhascheezburger… you used to be funnier).

I don’t talk about work often on this blog, but let’s just say that I work a lot of overtime during the summer. We can get… listless on the job. So I expect it will be a summer of pretty epic icings.

Though one must beg the question: isn’t icing a little bit sexist? It seems to be exclusive to “bros,” though you do see the occasional “bro-hoe” co-chugging on the blog. Part of the joke is that Smirnoff Ice is a “girlie” drink — a frou-frou flavored malt liquor beverage to appeal to the ladies (as opposed to, say, beer). And traditionally Smirnoff Ice has been marketed to women.  Now, while I get the joke — that being Iced is a humiliating, if funny, act that the “bro” is not meant to enjoy, because Smirnoff Ice is for sissies. But why can’t the ladies get in on the fun?

Witnessed at Penn Station on the way back from the Derby.

Though I would never participate in an actual “icing” (ladies seem to be exempt from the practice), I have to admit, I love seeing it happen. I love witnessing it first-hand–especially if an Ice Block is involved–but I derive just as much pleasure seeing it in pictures or imagining it from stories I hear from friends or read online. Which brings me to brosicingbros.com. Not since dadsinshortshorts.blogspot.com have I laughed at a web site so much. That it was started by a southern guy–shocker–only makes me appreciate the genius of its lowbrow appeal all the more. (The as-yet-unnamed mastermind is currently trying to remain anonymous (job prospects and all) but I’m betting he won’t be able to stay in the shadows for long.)

From what I’ve gathered from friends and co-workers, the icing phenomenon hit critical mass sometime around Memorial Day. The press surrounding did, too. Over the last few weeks, I’ve seen it covered in the Village Voice, New York Times, New York magazine (who deemed it Lowbrow Brilliant), and on CNN.com.

Also, hilarious: the spinoff Ice Ashton campaign, created by a social marketer in New York. A proper punking tribute to the ultimate bro.

How many of you have heard about this new internet meme called “bros icing bros?”  To break it down for you real quick, basically someone presents a Smirnoff Ice (this can be any size or flavor) to another person.  That person is then obligated to drop to one knee and chug the bottle.  The only thing that can stop this is if you have your own Smirnoff Ice within one step and an arms length from you.  In such case you “ice block” them and they instead have to chug the aforementioned Smirnoff Ice.  Now, originally I found this to be quite an amusing game.  However, when an entire group of people are intent on nailing each other with this, things get a bit intense.  For example, in a desperate move to retrieve a hidden Smirnoff to potentially “ice block” someone, I accused a friend of stealing my hidden Smirnoff Ice and all but wrestled him in the floor for the one he had in his hand (Sorry about that again!).  I have to admit, I won’t be mad to see this thing die. Warm Smirnoff Ice is AWFUL.

Lastly, I can say that I once again am enjoying Banditos.  Sometime right after the Virginia smoking laws took effect and they closed off the dance floor, something changed there for me.  I’m not exactly sure what it was but I just wasn’t enjoying the place like I used to.  There was a time when I was there 2-3 times a week.  Basically I had stopped going.  However, as is the case with almost every house party I ever go to, I eventually got tired of it and wanted to go out.  Once a couple of the girls realized it was ’80′s night there, a group of us took the very short hike over there.  Let me say that I had a great time and will probably start going back there more frequently again.

Friday night was a success.  Saturday morning Marathon Training Team…..well…..

Hopefully you laughed a little during the bomb also known as Sex & The City 2. Because with the July arrival of the LeBron Sweepstakes, the World Cup, and the return of Jersey Shore (in Miami this time), the Summer of 2010 is poised to become the Summer of Bro-dom. And the official drink of the Summer of Bro-Dom is (unfortunately) Smirnoff Ice.

*****

There are certain Internet fads you wish you could fast-forward life until they are over. RickRolling was especially painful. The Hitler Hates The Jonas Brothers / The Minnesota Vikings memes, while hilarious, are thankfully on their last legs.

The latest, and by far, the vilest of the Internet memes is Bros Icing Bros. The game is simple. If a friend surprises you with a Smirnoff Ice, you “got iced.” By rule, you must get down on one knee and chug it. To be clear, there are no winners here. You simply have to drink more Smirnoff Ices you never wanted to drink in the first place. Trust me, no bro is happier after a Smirnoff Ice than he was before it. Yet by a quirk of fate, Smirnoff is rewarded for making such a dreadful libation. You could always quit playing, but that’s the move of a Faux-Bro (See also: Rodriguez, Alex).

As the august Teddy Broosevelt explained:

From those twin pillars of Bro-dom justice, the rules diverge based on apartment and cruelty of roommates. At the Rivergate apartment on Manhattan’s Lower East Side, the game has unfortunately taken on more of a guerrilla war tone. The fridge is the only Holy Land. Beyond that, all’s fair in love and icing. Smirnoff Ices are hidden, not just presented. Any pile of laundry or especially chubby cat could be “landmined” with a lurking Smirnoff Ice. You can be iced whenever. No time, too early (see: 7:13 AM last Monday). No event (final exam, wedding, investor meeting), too important.

My roommate, let’s call him Uncle Benny, works in Private Equity. I am in school. It’s a veritable New York Yankees vs. Kansas City Royals match-up, and Uncle Benny has a George Steinbrennerian desire to win no matter the price. When I got back from a long day of classes Tuesday, I checked the deli downstairs and saw all the six-packs of Smirnoff Ice were sold out. I could only sigh. Uncle Benny had been shopping, again.

I live in fear. The left pocket of my favorite pair of jeans is now forever molded to the shape of a Smirnoff bottle. Security often stops me while leaving Duane Reade or Chipotle until they see the suspicious bulge is a lukewarm bottle of malt-liquor and realize not even shop-lifters would stoop so low. I carry a Smirnoff Ice on me at all times. Even when I go run. Make that, especially when I go run.

It gets worse. As New Yorkers can attest, the past two weeks have been excruciatingly hot. Keep in mind these “Ices” typically sit around in boiling Manhattan apartments for days on end. So what’s it like to drink a four day old, warm Smirnoff Ice? It’s perhaps most aptly described by the following clip from “Anchorman”:

*****

Bros Icing Bros is not a campaign by Smirnoff Ice. Smirnoff’s marketing team only wishes it could be so clever. Instead, Bros Icing Bros was the brainchild of a couple meatheads at the fratiest of all Southern colleges: The College of Charleston (Think: walking, talking J-Crew magazine with a Southern accent).

The frat boys set up a website BrosIcingBros.com, where users can upload pictures of the more spectacular ices. They posted a couple icing videos on Youtube and Facebook. From there, Bros Icing Bros spilled up the East Coast before hitting the New York City epicenter. Investment bankers especially got a kick out of it. An icing was recently reported at Goldman Sachs.

Typically Internet memes fizzle out within weeks. What’s worrisome is Bros Icing Bros is only escalating. Social media expert Sandy Smallens believes, “We’re gonna see more of this. Now that everything can be delivered through digital media, what’s the last authentic thing? Spontaneous experience.” The frat boys, Smallens said, are at the vanguard of the next phase in social media: real life. Smallens believes memes such as Icing Bros will become more potent in the future because they build a feedback loop between Internet you and real world you.

In translation, it took a while but frat boys finally figured out the social media game. Meatheads could always ruin your day off-line, now they can do it online as well. Smallens believes corporations will now follow suit.

In translation, don’t forget your ice block, bro!

Says the Spokesperson:

People might be surprised to know that [our consumers are] about 50-50 male-female. Most of our consumers are between 21-39. It’s a national brand and a national product.

O RLY, Spokesperson?  FYI, your “consumers” are not the same as your “purchasers”.  Since you obviously don’t (publicly) collect data on underage drinking, your data is skewed.  Sure, maybe the 6 people over the age of 21 who drink Smirnoff Ice happen to be “about 50-50 male-female”.  Do not make the mistake of assuming this truly represents who drinks your beverage.

The reasons Bros Icing Bros is a phenomenon in the first place is because a quintessential Bro thrives on humiliating his Bros.  You know why being forced to drink a Smirnoff Ice is humiliating?  Because it’s what a Bro buys a 16-year-old girl hoping to get in her pants, not what a Bro wants to chug out of a beer bong to prove his Bro-ness to his Bros, bro.

Sure, my only market research on this is anecdotal,  but a certain amount of market research has to be.  This isn’t just my first-hand experience talking, but the crowdsourced knowledge from all my friends as well.  And apparently “crowdsourcing” is a legitimate way to gather information these days.  (And we’re supposed to think twice before citing Wikipedia? O RLY?!)

However, if Smirnoff really wants to insist that their brand is consumed by people of age and by both genders, they should do some market research into things like their college grades and major, how many times they’ve seen Empire Strikes Back, number of cats owned, amount of chess championships won, etc.   Again, this is anecdotal, but pretty much anyone who went to college should back me up on this: nerds drink Smirnoff Ice.  Like 16-year-old girls, nerds are often experimenting with alcohol for the first time and thus more likely to go for the sweet stuff before growing up and moving on to beer (or 40s if malt liquor is really their thing).

In conclusion, Spokesperson, you should probably do one of two things here:

1. Since you spoke to the Awl anonymously, just fucking admit that teenage girls lurrrrve Smirnoff Ice.  It may be sleazy, but so is dishonesty.
2. Readjust your marketing strategy to target Trekkies, comparative literature majors*, BYU drop-outs, optometry clinics, and so on.

*I was a comp lit minor in college.  Trust me, those people are your market.