Spooks, BBC 1, Wednesdays 9pm

Burn Notice, FX, Mondays 10pm

I guess now is as good a time as ever to review Spooks (or [spooks] for the pedantic) as last week’s episode was a cracker. I’m not the biggest fan of this show, it has to be said. I only started watching it a few years back after reading loads of rave reviews, referring to it as the British 24. Luckily, the early series were up on Virgin’s on-demand service and repeats were frequent on the usual repeat channels. I think it was as early as episode two when the shocking event happened. You know: the one with the hot oil. It was so shocking that I’m not even going to refer to it in full but it was genuinely disturbing and made you very quickly aware that this was a show that was prepared to go anywhere and do anything.

It’s pretty much continued in that vein with established characters regularly being killed and replaced. You’re never safe in Spooks and this adds a nervy element to watching this urban thriller. 24 is a close comparison due to the terrorist aspect but the British spies of MI5 are portrayed in a different manner. There is little time for a personal life and when it encroaches on a storyline it will usually tie in to a plot point somewhere down the line.

Nevertheless, with a consistently strong set of characters, brilliantly acted, you do manage to engage with their personalities and care about what happens to them. Luckily, each time a lead character has gone they have been replaced with someone equally good and I can honestly say that there has never been a main character on this show that I was apathetic towards. Some characters I haven’t initially liked, step forward Ros, but again due to good old-fashioned decent acting they’ve managed to win me over. I hated Hermione Norris’s Ros Myers at first but eventually her tough-woman act and biting sarcasm has led me to the stage where I’ll be sorry when she goes.

But like I say, there’s no point getting too attached to the stars of this show. Tom Quinn, as played by Matthew Macfadyen, and Adam Carter (Rupert Penry-Jones) were both fantastic leads but Richard Armitage’s Lucas North, if anything, is even better. When he decides to leave I’ll feel a bit nervous. Perhaps the next lead could be someone utterly ruthless? It would be interesting to see if we, the audience, could warm to someone like that. A male Ros, if you will. Because these characters do have a heart and perhaps this is the least believable part of the show. For all their necessary callous behaviour dictated by the nature of their work these are decent people who ultimately try to do the right thing.

Popular opinion would have it that this series isn’t quite as gripping as the last. I was never that impressed with the last series although I did like Lucas. Again, I think, it was the shock moment where Connie was shown to be the traitor and killed one of her colleagues. It was very well-done but lacked something for me purely because I didn’t like the character of Connie. (Again, note, I admired her, just didn’t like her.) Moments like this linger long in the memory and Spooks always manages to come up with a few of these. This series, so far, the biggest event has been Jo’s death but this was perhaps undermined by the fact that she has clearly been a dead-woman walking for about two-and-a-half years prior to her eventual demise. It almost became a relief when she finally went which is a shame as I loved her character.

Surprisingly we haven’t had a replacement yet. That means we only have two major spies to follow and it does appear to be getting a little short-staffed. We also lost Malcolm this year but, thankfully, he was allowed to retire gracefully and didn’t meet the ignominious fate of his fellow techie, Colin! And, of course, we have had the fabulous Ruth back. Nicola Walker’s performance is pitch perfect and the ‘romance’ with Harry Pearce is surely destined to be consummated. My only worry is that this could be a way of setting up Harry to leave. Peter Firth is the only character to survive throughout the series and while he is a fantastic leader and I would be sorry to see him go some fresh blood might provide a lifeline to the show.

I don’t think it’s exactly tired. That’s not quite the right word, but, inevitably, as in 24, the stories are a bit limited when dealing with threats to national security and we do seem to see some plots being repeated. Last week’s episode is a staple, actually, with MI5 having to protect an asset who is working, reluctantly, on the inside trying not to be discovered. Which was actually the basic plot just the other week, too! But, it had a lot of politics in it, was very well-acted and a lot of fun. So good was Ashley Kumar as a young Muslim, desperate for peace, that I thought they might have been setting him up as Jo’s replacement but considering his scathing views of “liar man” Lucas and their whole approach to the situation it would be quite a twist to see him recruited.   

Past series relied almost exclusively on stand-alone stories but recently the series arch has become de rigueur and the Nightingale plot that has been building up in the background is coming more and more to the fore. The baddies, having vacillated between Russians and assorted Arabic terrorists, and even, sometimes, the Americans, is now settling into some sort of global conspiracy, with capitalism becoming the evil force that is manipulating other countries into committing various attacks. What the end game is I don’t know and it may be that this group becomes a continuing villain.

There’s been plenty action this series with loads of car chases, explosions, bombs, and lots for the stuntmen to do. The political intrigue has been well delivered with the recent removal of the recurring Home Secretary, played by the wonderful Robert Glenister (Ash in Hustle.) Hopefully, his character will have some sort of swan song because he’s too good to leave this meekly. It’s beautifully shot and always looks good, with fantastic skyline views of London and it has a cracking theme. Relatively unimportant in the wide scheme of things but a blessing nevertheless.

Everything from the title sequence credits to scenes so fast-paced you think you’ve missed a bit are stripped down to the bone. There are no named credits for the actors in this show, the writers and directors anonymous unless you look them up in the Radio Times or online. The stylistic fade to negative that ends each episode is a bleak summary of the nature of [spooks]; everything, including life, is temporary and there’s no time to waste.

Burn Notice  

FX, Mondays, 9pm

Speaking of spies this is also a good time to mention this little gem of a show, which I presume you are already ignoring along with the rest of the nation. This is very different from 24 or Spooks in that it’s not about homeland security but rather about one individual former spy. It’s actually more along the likes of shows such as The A-Team or The Equalizer in that its hero will take on a variety of missions on behalf of unfortunate ‘normal’ people, like me and you, who have fallen foul of the criminal element of society.

Michael Weston (engagingly played by Jeffrey Donovan) was a spy for the CIA, undergoing a number of covert missions on foreign soil. Until he was “burned”. This means, essentially, that he’s been grounded, as well as having been made persona non grata. He has no money and no home. He has no job and limited means of living a normal life as he has to remain secretive so that past scores cannot be settled upon him. He is surveilled so that he cannot leave the city in which he has been dumped, which happens to be Miami. Presumably, this is because it’s where his Mom lives (a classic annoying mother performance from Chris Cagney herself, Sharon Gless) and where Michael grew up.

Miami is a fantastic setting for a show as Dexter and CSI: Miami have shown in recent years. Miami always seems to get a bum rap as the sort of place where loads of oldies go to retire. But with that weather, and the ocean, beautiful scenery and buildings everywhere, surely it can’t be that bad? Or is that all just TV glamour, edited to look pretty? Certainly you have to put up with serial killers and cops who remove their sunglasses and tilt their heads all the time but it’s swings and roundabouts.

Weston has to try and establish some sort of life for himself and the early episodes set this up with his warehouse-penthouse apartment. He hooks up with former girlfriend, Fiona, dodgily (is that a word?) a former IRA member with a thing about guns and explosions and annoying Michael. Hmmm. UST much? She’s played by Gabrielle Anwar, who those among you with good taste will recognise as one of the kids of the first series of Press Gang, the first series written and created by Steven Moffat. One of the funniest shows ever. Fact. Anwar is feisty and fun, but has the worst Irish accent this side of David Boreanaz.

He also hooks up with former spy Sam, and this is where the show gets really cool. Sam is played by Bruce Campbell. Yep, The Evil Dead star himself! I don’t think it gets cooler than Bruce’s delivery. It would be worth watching for him alone but thankfully, the leading man is just as engaging. Weston is confident, good looking and knows how to look after himself. This could easily have become a vain, unlikeable character but Donovan’s exasperated expressions as things inevitably go wrong are a delight. Oh, and don’t touch his yoghurt!

There is usually a story of the week as Michael works as a ‘consultant’ to try to bring justice to some unfortunate victim. Many of these are good causes and his kind nature, despite his tough exterior, often gets the better of him. Essentially, he is facing down the bullies of society and teaching them a lesson. Not literally. Don’t make the mistake of thinking this is all goody-goody. There are some nasty, unpleasant people in this show and they often get a proper put-down. Weston won’t kill but he uses his experience as a spy to coerce, con and kick the crap out of the Miami lowlifes that he has to deal with.

The backdrop for all this, and becoming a bigger part of the picture as the series progresses, is the reason why Michael has been burned. There is an ongoing mission to discover who has done this to him and why. It presents a nice dichotomy as he dishes out punishment to everyday bullies around him but he himself is under the thumb of a huge organisation for no logical reason and his frustration creeps through now and again. There is a dark side to Michael Weston that is hinted at and perhaps more secrets to be revealed.

Voiceovers are USUALLY NOT A GOOD THING, but here it works perfectly. The narration that accompanies the action is Michael explaining why spies do things certain ways, how to go undercover, or tail someone, or use a handful of household chemicals to make a nuclear device. Well, maybe not the last one but it is all a bit McGyverish. The way he talks about which gun to use and why is so down-to-earth as if he’s passing on a few gardening tips. And they all make sense. If I ever decide to become a spy I’ll almost certainly use these.      

Quite simply, this is one of the most entertaining shows out there. It goes about its business, quietly, week after week, providing engaging characters, well-structured plots, plenty of action and humour. And the satisfying feeling that comes from loving it when a plan comes together. There is nothing earth-shattering about Burn Notice, it is not a game changer but it is a very well put together show. You know that Plan A will go wrong and that there will be complications and more and more danger until Michael succeeds at the end and all is well with the world. But you just don’t care because it is done so effortlessly and with such style. It somehow manages to remind me of both Hustle and Ocean’s 11, with its slick looks, humorous tone and intricate plots.

It’s as cool as a Mint Mojito at a Miami poolside. With an umbrella in it.

By Ben Linton

Maryland’s Junior Offensive Tackle Bruce Campbell has decided to forgo his senior season and put his name in the 2010 NFL Draft in April. So far he has been projected to go 12th to the Steelers by NFL Draft Analyst Todd McShay. Campbell is a freakish athlete at 6-7 310, extremely strong, and a very good pass blocker. Although he was plagued by injuries this season, missing three games, Campbell has decided to take a risk and shoot for the NFL.

This is a good move for Campbell, and unfortunately a loss for Maryland. Campbell shows promise to be a great left or right tackle and have a long career in the NFL. He will be missed at Maryland next year for his senior leadership and athletic ability as the Terps may struggle to find a replacement. Best of luck to Bruce as his career progresses.

A junior at the University of Maryland, offensive tackle Bruce Campbell has declared himself eligible for the 2010 NFL Draft, electing to forgo his senior season with the Terps.

The 6′7″ 310-pound tackle has been told by the NFL Advisory Board that he could be drafted anywhere between the middle of the first to the middle of the second round this spring.

ESPN’s Scouts Inc has him ranked as the 24th best prospect overall. He’s still considered a bit of a work in progress by ESPN draft analyst Todd McShay, but had a good 2009 season and his upside is promising.

Another junior that scouts are waiting on is Rutgers OT Anthony Davis, who ranks 14th overall on the Scouts Inc. prospect rankings list.

This century hasn’t been kind to schlock. Needless to say, here’s a list of some I recommend and some I really, really don’t. Some of these I’ve already reviewed, some I haven’t. It’s not a top ten, rather just films from the bargain bucket that I think are worth a look.

I blame a few things for the decline in low rent fun: firstly the rise of CGI. This has meant that shitty special effects are now shitty computer generated special effects and therefore look more fake and are more annoying without being anywhere near as amusing.

Secondly, the rise of hacks working on big budget material. We all know that the rightful home of Emmerich is in making shitty low rent action stuff starring Dolph, but for some inexplicable reason people keep giving him a budget.

Thirdly, the easy availability of editing tools for little cash on the internets. This has encouraged complete morons like Minarovich to actually make films. In the past, this wouldn’t have been possible.

Fourthly, the rise of the remake. Why bother making a low rent new film when you can make a low rent rehash with a brand name?

So, depressing shit aside- here’s my picks of the decade- all good fun, and all entertaining in their low rent way. In no particular order:

Zombie Strippers

Previously reviewed here

It’s impossible to hate this film simply because it’s about zombies and strippers.

Ridiculously entertaining stuff featuring the role Jenna Jameson was born to play. Mostly deliberately funny, but a big gold star goes to Schlock king Robert Englund for a performance far better than a film called Zombie Strippers deserves.

Dog Soldiers

The second list of mine that this film makes it on to. Simply because it’s one of my favourite films.

A superb horror-comedy with terrible werewolf effects, but they’re more than made up for by top draw performances from Kevin McKidd, Sean Pertwee and a script that simply sparkles.

“They think it’s all over- it is now” is one of the single funniest lines in cinema history- and the luck they had with being able to use England actually beating Germany 5-1 as the only headline more unlikely than “Werewolves ate my platoon”  on the supermarket tabloid is just a hilarious cherry on a very funny cake.

Doomsday

Neil Marshall’s love letter to early 80’s low-budget classics such as Escape From New York and Mad Max. Needless to say, it isn’t a fration as good as either of those.

Nevertheless, it’s a batshit insane ride, with loads of enjoyment and more fun than a barrel load of monkeys. The whole film is worth it for the scene where the Cannibals come out.

Not to mention the fact that Rhona Mitra looks eminently fuckable in it.

Black Sheep

Another one that made it on to another list, but I don’t care. This is a superb horror comedy from the land where men are men and sheep are worried.

A cracking script, reasonable special effects and a superb premise all combine to create two hours of solid fun.

Machine Girl

I had to put this somewhere, because I loved it when I first saw it. Hilarious Japanese chop-socky nonsense, complete with shite acting, brutal violence, and schoolgirls that are blatantly 25.

No cliché goes unmined, and this is exploitation cinema at it’s finest. Even the characters are laughably over the top- the main girl shrugs off all grievous bodily harm, including amputations, and still comes back to kick the Yakuza douchebag’s ass.

Top fun.

Leprechaun in the Hood

Simply the greatest schlock film of the decade.  Giant amongst midgets Warwick Davis is on sparkling form, but this time he’s assisted by a superb performance from Ice-T as Mack Daddy Onassis, the worst rappers in the history of hip-hop and some zombie ho’s.

It also has the most amusing cameo in history- for shame Coolio!

All bar one of the Leprechaun films are more golden than a crock of gold, but this one is arguably the best- especially as it’s the only one to feature “Leprechaun for Dummies”

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

I’ve thought about reviewing this one for the Vault, but I would probably need to go back and rewatch it. However, seeing as this is a little capsule review, I’ve got no qualms about including it here.

It’s great fun. Simple as that. Watching humble plumber Jack try to manage his anger issues, whilst being on the receiving end of the most provoking garbage I’ve ever seen is ceaselessly amusing. Especially when his temper snaps and he punches people in the throat- even his therapist is scared of him.

It also features another brilliant schlock performance from Englund, and a terrible animatronic muppet as the demon.

Hilarious, and highly recommended.

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

Look, this obviously was never going to reach the heights of the original. However, it is true to the spirit of the original and damned entertaining in its own brainless fashion.

Particular highlights include the singing Sky Marshall (possibly the stupidest thing ever put on screen) and the satirical adverts- which aren’t quite as good as the original’s or those in Robocop, but are still funny nonetheless.

Let’s go crack a planet, indeed.

My Name is Bruce

No list of schlock would be complete without at least one appearance from the largest chin in Hollywood. Unfortunately, Bruce tends to appear in unwatchable shite.

This is the exception. The first half in particular where he’s fat, sleazy, rude to Evil Dead fans and out of shape is absolutely cracking, and although the second half can’t carry it on, this is a fun and entertaining ride.

Dead Snow

Three words, people: Nazi. Snow. Zombies.

I am going to review this one in full next week, as I only saw it very recently, but I have to say that it’s a giddy little zombie film.

This is a film that defies proper criticism, simply because it’s about Nazi snow zombies and is therefore good by definition. What I didn’t expect though, was how well thought out it is. There’s no postmodernism here, it’s just a highly entertaining low brow chucklefest.

Recommended.

Outlander

MOTHERFUCKERS!

Jesus Christ plays an alien, Ron Perlman and John Hurt play vikings and everybody has to fight a monster with more flashing lights than a Christmas tree.

Another unbelievably moronic film, but this actually makes my best of the year (given that it was released in 2009 in this country) and I did consider it for the best of the decade.

Criminally shafted by the Weinstein brothers, OUTLANDER is a true gem and it pisses me off something chronic that nobody has seen it.

FOR OUTLANDER!!!!

And now for the films that I warn you not only to avoid, but if you are unfortunate enough to end up with them in your possession you are compelled to melt them to save humanity. These are that bad:

Ankle Biters

Fuck I hate this film.

Unwatchable shit that wastes a brilliant premise. Fuck all of them.

If you require more information about this heinous sack of crap then here’s my full review of it. I do suggest, however, that you take my advice and avoid this bollocks like the plague.

Fuck them all.

I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer

Fucking Australia. The world’s largest prison, full of evolutionary dead ends, and the fucking place spawned Moonwolves’ baton dropper in chief: Droid.

However, even given all of the above, nothing it has been responsible for is quite as piss poor as this.

To begin with, it’s got nothing at all to do with the I know films, and not a lot more to do with cricket.

What it is, is a fucking nutless wonder murdering the men that castrated him as a child. It’s dull, relentlessly irritating, there’s a daft incest subplot and it’s just shit.

It was directed by a woman, thus proving once and for all that women can be every bit as clueless as we can. However, she also casts herself in the lead, and includes a nude shower scene (which is quite watchable, to be fair). She wasn’t completely dense though, and cast Miss Hustler of Australia as her body double. It’s quite the most gratuitous piece of nudity that I’ve seen in a long time.

Doesn’t save the film though.

Head Cheerleader, Dead Cheerleader

Previously Reviewed here

Fucking unwatchable load of shit. The only good thing about it is the opening credits, but after that it’s as much fun as nipple clamps.

A film I never want to see again and one that makes me feel irrationally violent towards the makers.

Fuck this shit. Useless incompetent cunts.

Die You Zombie Bastards

No. Don’t die you zombie bastards- Die you fuckheads for making this shit and thereby soiling a superb title.

Some films are merely bad. Some films are messy. Some films are confused. Some films are incompetent. Some films are annoying. Some films out stay their welcome.

This is that rare beast that has fucking ALL of these features- it’s fucking mind-numbingly annoying one note shit that lasts forever.

I’ve just discovered that it was financed by a porn studio that had access to some horror movie props, and you can tell. What I’m really disgusted to discover is that Troma’s own Lloyd Kaufmann had something to do with it.

The only possible reason to reason to watch this is if you are completely fucking retarded and think that it’s actually a good idea to cut out your own spleen and think it’s funny watching a cretin with a bad rubber mask hammer his (fake) cock.

Just look at the calibre of fan that this garbage attracts:

this movie is mental. very low-budget. great fun. a similar style to the troma films.

if u like silly horror/zombie films with loads of boobs with nonsense story lines then this is for u.

a gud one for a drunken nite in with ya mates.

but avoid if taken acid, it wud probs be too much to handle haha

Fucking useless inbred cunt. Even if he’s 14 that’s no fucking excuse.

One of the worst films I’ve ever seen.

Anyhoo, that’s me done with this list.

Ciao

Jarv

]]> http://johnofthedead.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/congo-6/ Tue, 15 Dec 2009 23:16:24 +0000 johnofthedead http://johnofthedead.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/congo-6/

Director – Frank Marshall

Cast – Laura Linney, Dylan Walsh, Ernie Hudson, Tim Curry, Grant Heslov, Joe Don Baker, Lorene Noh, Mary Ellen Trainor, Bruce Campbell, Misty Rosas

Release Year – 1995

Reviewed by John of the Dead

I remember enjoying this film so much as a child given my love for movies involving killer animals. Based on the acclaimed novel “Congo” by author Michael Critchton, this flick gives us an interesting antagonist…an unknown breed of killer gorillas.

This film opens with an expedition into the heart of the African Congo in search of a rare diamond that will revolutionize the communications industry. When the expedition goes sour and the company loses communication with Charles Travis(Bruce Campbell), the company sends his former fiancé and current scientist Dr. Karen Ross(Laura Linney, who also appeared in The Mothman Prophesies and The Exorcism of Emily Rose) to find out what went on and get the diamond her megalomaniac CEO craves so much. She joins up with a gorilla researcher named Dr. Peter Elliot who is on his way to the congo himself to release his sign-language talking gorilla, Amy, into the wild. Joined by the eccentric explorer Herkermer Homolka and a few mercenaries they embark on their mission but soon encounter a furry foe that prefers humans over bananas. HAHA!

I really like the idea for this film and personally find horror/thriller films taking place in the jungle to be quite creepy. There are many places for the antagonist to hide itself and this film only gets better once the discover the diamond city of Zing, which just pretty much whispers the word “creepy” in your ear the second you see it. Director Frank Marshall(who also directed Arachnophobia) did an excellent job with this film’s atmosphere, sets, and the awesome look of the killer gorillas.

The use of characters in this film was enjoyable as a few of them add the usual comic relief while others gain your attention and respect right away such as the character of lead mercenary Captain Munro Kelly(Ernie Hudson, otherwise known as “Winston Zeddmore” of Ghostbusters fame). I especially enjoyed the use of Tim Curry as the eccentric explorer in the film. He seems to personify all of his roles pretty well, especially as “Pennywise” the clown in “It”. Hehe. Aside from looking so much like John Mayer, actor Dylan Walsh did a find job as Dr. Peter Elliot and Laura Linney surprisingly had the most one-liners in the film.

The use of the killer monkeys has to be my favorite aspect of the film, and unfortunately we don’t get much of that action until the last 30 minutes of the film. I really respect director Frank Marshall for opting to use live-action effects for the monkeys instead of the computer effects he was originally going to use given how great they looked in Jurassic Park(which came out two years earlier). The look of the gorillas was awesome as they had some weird looking stuff on and around their faces and they were completely grey. Not like “silverback” gorillas, but GREY gorillas. Pretty creepy looking to say the least.

My only knacks for this film are the usual of films at this time. The editing was a bit choppy and the dialogue could have used some improvement. It gets cheesy in a “Hollywood” way at times(the last 10 minutes of the film) but I can look past that.

Overall, this is a positive film that is sure to please those showing an interest in this sub-genre of killer animals. Those not interested in that sub-genre will probably not find this film as enjoyable.

Rating: 6/10

Director – Sam Raimi

Cast – Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz, Marcus Gilbert, Ian Abercrombie, Richard Grove, Timothy Patrick Quill, Ted Raimi

Release Year – 1992

Reviewed by John of the Dead

After the putting out two of the greatest horror films of all time, Evil Dead & Evil Dead II, director Sam Raimi and his leading man Bruce Campbell returned to give us the third and final installment of the Evil Dead Trilogy…Army of Darkness. I remember passing by this film all the time at the video store when I was a child and thinking to myself that this film had the coolest movie cover/poster I had ever seen, and I still believe that!

This film takes off right where Evil Dead II leaves off with our lead Ash(Bruce Campbell) being sucked into a time warp and sent back to the medieval times. Upon arriving at his destination he is mistaken for being one of Henry The Red’s men and is taken prisoner by Lord Arthur(Marcus Gilbert). Ash is then sent to be executed, yet somehow good old Ashley “Ash” Williams survives the ordeal and it is then that the people realize he is “the one” who has been prophesized to come and save them from the evil around them. Ash of course wants no part of this and simply wishes to get back home as quickly as possible. The “wise one” of the castle agrees to tell Ash the incantation to get back to where he came from, but Ash needs the “Book of the Dead” AKA the Necronomicon in order to do so. Ash then treks on a journey to locate the book and of course…the bumbling Ash messes up the incantation and subsequently unleashes the Army of the Dead AKA the Deadites and must now stay to save the villagers he just put into grave danger.

Boy do I just love this film. This is often regarded to be the “weakest” in the Evil Dead trilogy, and it is, but that does not mean that this film is “weak” by any means. This film continues the elements we got in the first two installments, the only difference is this film is less scary and a lot more “fun” than the first two. I personally enjoyed the idea of setting this film in the middle ages, it provides Ash with the ability to make demeaning jokes at the “primitive screw heads” around him and also provides a different scenery compared to the first two installments. I did really enjoy the use of the woods and cabin during the first two films, but I agree with director Sam Raimi’s decision to change the atmosphere given that a third film with the same woods and cabin scenes would have been quite redundant and leave little room for creativity. Avid fans of Bruce Campbell’s “Ash” character will highly enjoy this film given that this is the film in which Ash kick’s the most ass. The first two films developed his character and showed his cowardly side until the last movement of Evil Dead II, which is probably the most epic movement of all three films. However Army of Darkness brings us the greatest bumbling anti-hero of all time, and really plays off Ash’s maturity given the horrific events he has gone through recently through the first two films. How fast would you grow up if you had to right off an army of deadites after having to brutally kill your demon possessed girlfriend as well as several of your friends who became possessed as well? Yeah…Sam and his brother Ivan(who wrote this film with him) capitalized Ash’s character development in the most awesome, goriest way possible. I love it!

Did I mention this film is just plain funny? Seriously, Raimi’s use of slapstick humor is one that I highly enjoy given that I as well am an avid fan of The Three Stooges and love the fact that Stooges humor can be effectively mixed in with horror elements. The scenes with the Army of the Dead arising and attacking the castle are classic and seem to use the most amount of slapstick comedy, and rightfully so. You can thank Sam Raimi’s use of POV camera angles, wide pans, and soft pans for this film’s “fun” feel(Example: Lord Arthur‘s arrow flying toward a fleeing prisoner). He continued to use these fun tricks in his Spiderman films, and it obviously paid off given the amount of revenue the blockbuster trilogy has pulled in. I also really enjoyed the fact that Sam Raimi used walking skeletons during the final battle, there is just something about walking skeletons that creeps me out and have not seen nearly enough of that element in horror films.

Overall, this is a fun ride that is guaranteed to please fans of the first two films. I recommend this to all humans, but make sure you have seen at least Evil Dead II to understand Ash’s character development.

Rating: 8.5/10

Ah, Christmas time.  Presents, family, snow…and some seriously terrible holiday movies.  This week was a slight let down.  We had planned on stating the month with a double dose of Jack Frost, however, someone had already rented the Michael Keaton Jack Frost.  So, we had to improvise.  Or should I say we had to sacrifice.  Unfortunately,  we submit for your approval, Jack Frost and Surviving Christmas.

Jack Frost

Person Responsible: Steve

Oh my my my.  What a movie.  A horror movie about a killer snowman.  No, a comedy about a killer snowman.  No, a slasher about a killer snowman.  No, how about a movie about a killer snowman, made by someone that was not quite sure what genre they were going for.  Ya, that’s a bit more accurate.

This movie starts out with a voice over of a creepy sounding uncle telling his even creepier sounding niece a bedtime story.  A bedtime story about a mass murdering psychopath.  Wait, what?  Seriously?  Someone call this kid’s parents.  Worst uncle ever!  Of course, if my niece sounded like this one, I would want her to have nightmares too.  Honestly, this kid’s voice sounded like a demonic elf.  How much can it cost to hire an actual kid to read a few lines off screen?

Anyway, so this killer, Jack Frost, is being transported to his execution site.  And to brighten up the mood a little, the prisoner transport is decorated for Christmas.  How festive.  Merry Christmas…you’re gonna die.  Well, due to icy roads, the transport crashes into a genetic materials truck.  Now Jack Frost is covered in genetic acid.  No, I don’t know what genetic acid is either.  So, now Jack’s DNA melds with the snow he landed in and turns into a giant, super strong, killer snowman…obviously.

So, what does a newly freed half snowman half serial killer do with his downtime?  Go to the hometown of the cop that busted you and start the killin’!  Yes, the sleepy little town of Snowmanton.  Seriously, that’s what the writer’s came up with.  What commences is a killing spree of ridiculous proportions.  A sled decapitates a boy, Jack Frost backs a cop’s car over the cop, jagged pieces of ice through the brain, face smashed into glass Christmas ornaments and then the dead body attached to the tree with Christmas lights, and an axe handle is shoved down a guy’s throat.  You get the idea.

Finally, a government agent and a scientist from the genetics company come to save the day.    Kind of.  They really offer no help at all.  One of them does have a great beard though.  As far as worthless characters go…it doesn’t get more useless.  Regardless of usefulness, they team up with the local sheriff and devise a plan.  They force Jack Frost into a giant furnace.  How do they force a giant killer snowman?  Blow dryers of course.  He melts in the furnace, but tricky as he is, he condenses on the windows and saves himself by doing something special.  Something special…and something that had not been done or even hinted at in the rest of the movie.  He sucks up into the scientist and controls the scientist’s body and walks back outside.  The scientist then vomits snow (which looks like shaving cream) all over the ground until the snow forms back into Jack.

So, how can they possibly expect to kill such a terror?  Anti-freeze.  Yes, you heard me right, anti-freeze.  I’m not going to talk about it.  I don’t want to and you can’t make me.  However, I do want to talk about the sheriff’s son.  The sheriff’s little, loves to bake, may be mentally handicapped son.  Our introduction to this boy is when he is driven past a car wreck.  His reaction?  “Touch my finger, touch my knee, thank the Lord it was not me.”  What a freakin’ rude little kid!  What else you may ask?  Well, he made his Dad’s lunch one day.  Forget the fact that it roughly looked like mud with marshmallows stuck in it.  Other than the look of it, the kid put anti-freeze in it so his Dad wouldn’t get cold.  Adorable.  But his shining moment was in the kitchen.  It was quote…a glorious quote.  His mother walked into the kitchen to find him making cookies, and huge mess.  He holds up a cookie and brainlessly exclaims “Look, I made special!”  Indeed.

Awful movie, avoid it as best you can.  I do also believe that they made a sequel.  Here are some of the highlights, or lowlights;

1. Jack turns into a skeleton before a snowman.  While he is skeletal, you can see the string that is moving him around.
2. There is a brief animated scene where Jack’s DNA and cells are being changed by the acid.  Not CGI…animated.
3. There is a bloody patch of snow from one of the murders   A cop tries to cove it up by kicking other snow on top of it.
4. Snowman vision.  Much like snake vision, except with frosty edges on the screen.
5. A teenage girl is blow-drying her hair.  After she is done, she takes a bath and washes her hair….what?
6. Jack Frost rapes her.  That’s right, snowman rape…we think.  It was kind of hard to tell.
7. After the anti-freeze bath kills Jack, the kid finds Jack’s arm and picks it up and gets attacked by it.  So the Dad grabs the kid and the arm and dunks them both in the anti-freeze.  He’s like a bully at the community pool.
8. Jack Frost “I’m made in America!”
9. “What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?  Snowballs.”

10.  “Great!  That’s all we need.  The catcher’s mitt killer!”

Overall Rating:

2 Out of 5 Bruce Campbells

Surviving Christmas

Person responsible: Family Video (a wonderful place, the only place we will rent actually.)

This was not our choice.  Apparently there was a run on every other Christmas movie in our Family Video.  Very upsetting.  Well, for those of you that don’t know, this is a Ben Afcrap movie.  And a bad one at that.  His acting is so over the top terrible in this movie that he makes Jim Carrey look like Marlon Brando.  The movie is about a rich 30 something gets dumped by his girlfriend at Christmas and starts with the lonlies.  He decides the best way to fix this is by going to his childhood home and regaining that Christmas magic.  Of course a different family now inhabits the home.  Well, they are not too keen on the whole situation, so…he offers them 250 thousand dollars to spend Christmas with them.  Yep, that’s the plot.  That’s all of it.  So, they draft a contract and the movie is off!  We get a few cutesy moments, like when he looks at the tree outside and finds his name carved into it.  Of course you can tell that it is CGI, so no trees were harmed in the making of this movie.  He breaks the banister trying to slide down it like when he was a kid.  So the Dad uses duck tape to fix it.

Everything was going ok until the daughter showed up.  She refused to go along and was mean and cranky and plot changing.    She screws everything up and hates him.  Until five minutes later when they like each other.  Ya, it’s one of those movies.  They of course end up together at the end of the movie.  Ya, happily ever after with a crazy person that almost ruined her family.  That’s every girl’s dream.

The movie’s conflict, other than the plot, is towards the end of the movie.  Afcrap’s girlfriend decides she wants him back and shows up at the house to meet his family.  Of course he tries to lie and have her and her parents believe that this is his actual family.  And of course it blows up in his face.  Have I mentioned that I hate this movie?

Let’s go over some of our favorite parts.  And of course when I say favorite parts, I mean the parts that made us lose faith in humanity.  Like the opening montage.  I don’t even know what to say about it.  It was just a big mess of random clips.  We have no idea what they were going for.  Or the scene where Afcrap makes the Dad sing Oh Christmas Tree, which he does. Sounds normal, right?  Wrong, and let me tell you why.  Except for the fact that the Dad is not a fan of Christmas.  Why would he know the words to Oh Christmas Tree?!  I don’t know them!  Unless you sing in a choir or for a living, I don’t think you actually know the words past “Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree, how lovely are thy branches.”  Pisses me off.

Or how about the worst part of the movie?  The main character.  He is so over the top and stupidly written that it hurts my teeth.  He pays a family an increasingly crazy amount of money to be part of their family for the holidays.  And the thing is, it’s not in a cute way.  It’s in a holy crap that guy is crazy, I don’t care how much he is paying; get him the heck out of my house kind of way.  His character really is creepy.  He makes them call him son, and calls them Mom and Dad.  He gives the family scripts to use..  Honestly, it was altogether disturbing. Now some quotes so that I may be done with this crapburger forever.

1. “Is he black?”
2. “It’s my wife, on my son’s  computer, shooting a V for victory with her legs.”
3. And maybe the quote to sum up the movie  “I can smell my eyes burning.”

Overall Rating:

1 out of 5 Bruce Campbells

Horribly written, with one of the worst scripts that we have ever seen, this movie is only a hair above Transmorphers.  I don’t really know what else to say except this movie sucked.  It was an embarrassment, and should be burned on site. No redeeming qualities at all.  Not one.  Now, in the spirit of Sunday night bad movie nights, all of the movies are bad, but at least have some entertainment value.  This had none.  Not one bit.  Interesting side note,  this was Steve’s 3^rd time to see it.

Now on to our quotes of the night:

1. Ally:   “Wait.  Was that a goat?”
2. Steve: “That was definitely a whipping sound…”
3. Steve: “You don’t touch another man’s salami.”
4. Steve: “Who drive car!?!?” David: “Snowman drive car!!!”Steve:  “Oh No!  How can this be!!!?”
5. In reference to what the Mom’s response should have been to the kid saying “Look, I made special!”…..David: “Yes, dear.  So did your Father and I.”

So, week one of Christmas movies is over.  So not cool.  However, we did make a box for all of the bad movies. This is good, because I don’t want anyone thinking that those movies are in my normal collection.  We are only one week in on this month and I am ready for the next month.  Hopefully it will get better as we go along.  Doubtful, but who knows, maybe there will be a Christmas miracle…..Until next  week,

Thanks for listening   chiiiiiiilllllldren!

*Update for 12/07/09*

New TrueType Section, Newly Added Older Figure Parts & Restock!

Hot Toys TrueType Parts

Amok Time Night of the Living Dead Cemetary Zombie

Dragon Danger Girl Abbey Chase

Sideshow Army of Darkness Ash, Evil Ash & S-Mart Ash (Various Parts)

Blue Box King of Fighters Kyo Kusanagi

Hot Toys Terminator Salvation John Connor
Hot Toys Terminator Salvation Marcus Wright

Sideshow Star Wars Stormtrooper (nearly out of Stormtroopers, and cannot get more)
Sideshow Star Wars Sandtrooper
Sideshow Star Wars Lando Calrissian
Sideshow Indiana Jones Henry Jones

So…the final night of Bruce/Luke month.  And what a good night it was.  A good night, which does not happen very often on Sunday nights.  We had waited a very long time for these movies.  So, without any further ado, we submit for your approval, Army of Darkness and Silent Venom.

Army of Darkness

Person responsible: Steve

Now, I realize that this movie does not meet the normal Sunday night qualifications.  Yes, it’s entertaining, and yes we did actually enjoy ourselves.  However, cult classic or not, it is a B-movie. It is bad, even if it is in the best possible way.  So, before I get yelled at, try to realize that it is a cheesy movie, and it does have some very bad mistakes.  That being said, yes we did pick it as a bit of a treat for ourselves after the terrible, terrible things we have endured this month.

The story?  Well, not that it is too important for you to know, but it’s basically a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s court…..with evil skeletons.  Ash(Bruce) is sucked into the middle ages while battling an evil awakened by the Book of the Dead.  Well, you can imagine that a brash, smart mouthed retail worker from the future does not meld well with the knights of the round.  He does in fact deck a King Arthur with a sweet medieval mullet.  He wows them with his shotgun and chainsaw, and he confuses them with his modern speech.  What is the obvious choice?  Send him on a quest of course!

For Ash to return to his own time, he needs to retrieve the book of the dead.  No, not the one from his time, the one from this time.  Conveniently, the residents of the castle also need the book for their own intents and purposes.  So, Ash travels forth into the cruel world armed only with his chainsaw, his shotgun and the words to speak when picking up the book of the dead.  “Klatu Verrata Neckto.”

Well, he hits a few bumps along the way.  Bumps like an army of little Ash’s attacking him Gulliver’s Travels style.  Or the evil twin that pops up and mocks him.  However, he powers through the adversity and eventually retrieves the book of the dead.  Remember those special words I mentioned earlier?  Well, Ash did not.  And in not remembering the words, he awoke an army of the dead led by the evil twin he killed.

The dead army marches on the castle and Ash rises as the leader and they eventually defeat the deadites.  Ash is sent back to his own time, and all is well with the world.  Now, you might be asking yourself why this movie qualifies for b-movie night.  I have mentioned some goofy moments, but nothing terrible.  Well, here are some of the beautiful moments from the movie that made us feel justified by watching something that we actually enjoy.

1. When Ash is first dropped out of the sky into the middle ages, he lands hard….on a landing mat.
2. Later in the movie, he shoots evil Ash in the face.  The force from the blast knocks evil Ash into a tree.  The tree moves upon impact….moves a lot.
3. Ash loses his hand in Evil Dead 2 and has a stub in Army of Darkness.  He is being led in stocks to the castle.  The stub is in the socks.  Wouldn’t he be able to just slip that right out?
4. Ash is being chased by the “evil.”  It goes over water, down hills, and even splits trees in half on its way.  However, when Ash runs in a windmill and closes the wooden door…it can not get in.  Can not open it, can not break it down.  Splits trees in half, but not a door.
5. Ash has on about 4 different shoes during the movie.  In Evil Dead 2 he had on more of a house shoe, in the beginning of Army of Darkness, he has on a hiking shoe.  Then moves on to a boot about 1 minute later, back to the hiking shoe and so on and so forth for the entire movie.
6. The deadites are all wearing helmets during the castle attack.  These helmets are from all sorts of time periods, there are Chinese, Japanese, knight helmets, World War 2.  Wait, world war two happened after the middle ages…..right?
7. Oh Ash, you and your refusal to adhere to the realm of believability when it comes to your shotgun.  You have a double barreled shotgun.  There is no pump action, why do you insist on constantly having a “cocking” noise coming from the gun.  Also, it is a “double barreled” shotgun.  Not a triple barreled or a quad barreled.  That may sound awesome, but stop shooting 3 or 4 shots before reloading.  It’s not possible.

So, there you have it…justification.  The movie deserves to be on Sunday night as much as it deserves the top rating.  It has awful moments and stupid mistakes.  Did we cheat a little and watch a movie that we all knew we would like?  Yes.  But hey, we deserve it at this point.

Overall Rating:

5 out of 5 Bruce Campbells

Silent Venom

Person responsible: David

Ally and I found this movie at Walmart about 2 months ago, and have been counting down the weekends until we got to watch it.  It stars Luke Perry as a submarine captain who is about to retire.  Ya, retire.  He looks old enough for a retirement after 20 years as a submarine captain, right?  Not so much? Well, it’s about as believable as him playing a tough as nails wealth of experience and knowledge submarine captain.

He is commissioned to take an old US sub to the third world country that we are selling it to.  Well, of course during all of this he has to rescue a few scientists that are trapped in the middle of a Chinese military drill.  What kind of scientists you ask?  Why radioactive venomous snake scientists of course.  Well, long story made short, the snakes get out and start biting people.   So now they have to survive the snakes while staying under the radar (or in this case under the sonar) or the Chinese fleet.  So, yes, it is in essence…snakes on a submarine.

This movie was awesome.  There was so much wrong with this movie, but it didn’t even matter.  So much fun.  Let’s start with the submarine.  Well, it had tile floors and wooden baseboards.  Didn’t quite make sense on a submarine.  Also, it was seemingly the smallest submarine ever built.  It appears to be comprised solely of an engine room, two hallways, a deck, two crew quarter rooms, and a torpedo room.   Or the crew that had small black nametags with white lettering for their names.  I seriously looked like a name tag from some little diner.  Or the sad realization that Luke Perry’s second in command is Mr. Turner from Boy Meets World.

The snakes….oh dear Lord, the snakes.  Second worst CGI snake that we have seen on Sundays.  The two, radioactive, venomous, rapidly growing rattle snakes that look nothing like rattle snakes.  They almost looked like cartoons.  Or how about the fact that most of the snakes in fact are non venomous.  If you are going to CGI some snakes, at least make them venomous.  Or the fact that their eyes glow.  Not shine or gleam in the light….glow.  Come on!

Or how about the two favorite snake facts of the night?

1.  When the snakes first got loose, we find out that there are 22 on board.  However….they are everywhere.  Honestly, if we were to give a conservative estimate of how many snakes were on the ship…it would be triple digits.  There would be 10 crawling around in the hall, and then 2 minutes later, there would be 8 in the torpedo room, but don’t forget the seven that are in the kitchen, or the 9 in the control room, or the 12 in  the engine room, or the 5 in the bunks.  Interestingly enough…they never showed up in the medical room.  Apparently one bite was enough.

2. A rubber snake.  Yes, you heard me.  There is a scene where there are snakes crawling all over the floor and the crew has to get across.  Well, one of the snakes appears to be a bit too bright of a green and a bit on the lethargic side.  Well, that’s because it is a run of the mill toy rubber snake.  Simply brilliant.

How about some quotes?!

1. I don’t know, I just got out of submarine school.”
2. Beware, there are highly venomous snakes on the ship.  There bite is toxic.”
3. It’s an island.  I don’t know what to expect on an island.”

Now, the best part of this movie was Luke Perry.  He ran face first into a ladder and got a bloody nose.  He beat a snake with a phone.  Later he beat a different snake with a clipboard and threw his gun at it.  And there are countless other moments or lines that I won’t put in here because you just have to see them. This honestly is one of the most fun to watch movies we have had.  And my personal favorite so far.

Overall Rating:

4 out of 5 Bruce Campbells

Quotes from us for the night:

Steve:  “I just wanna say….booblight.”

Steve:  “How would you like to poop out a little me?”

Ally:    “Wait, a little you, or a little me?”

Steve:  “I like Water world.’

Steve:  “Snakes in a condo.”

Ally:  “Snakes in a timeshare.”

David: “Snakes in a nursing home.”

So, as previously stated, this past Sunday was outstanding.  Arguably the best night so far.  We were very ready to be rid of Bruce/Luke month, but admitting, it was a great way to end the month.  Now, on into December and bad Christmas movies.  This is going to suck so bad.  Seriously, I get a bit depressed looking at the outline for the December movies.  Buckle up kiddies.

Thanks for listening chiiiiildreeeeen!

‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs‘ can best be described in one word: fun. In this short and sweet animated film we have quite a bit of fun watching Flint Lockwood make food fall from the sky.

The core of the film is, as I said, about fun. Flint (voiced by Bill Heder) makes inventions which complicate simple things, like a TV remote where, instead of the channel changing, the TV sprouts legs and walks to you so that you can push the button. His crowning invention is a machine that turns water into food. This is supposed to fix the problem of there only being sardines to eat on his home island, which is hidden under the T where ‘Atlantic Ocean’ is written on a map.

Quirks like these make the film great. The father/son storyline isn’t the freshest thing out there, but it is enough to string together our characters and the falling food.

The cast includes Bill Heder, Anna Faris, James Caan, Andy Samberg, Bruce Campbell, Mr. T, and Neil Patrick Harris. It’s one of those great ensembles which makes me think, “Who isn’t in this movie?” Other than Faris and Heder, the others are only minor characters, but each is unique in their own way.

Odd that I watched this on the same day as ‘2012′. I watched ‘2012′ first, and I wanted to follow that disaster movie with something upbeat. ‘Meatballs’ was much more upbeat, but to my surprise it was also quite the disaster movie. At least this one had some flavor to it.

I went to my in-laws new house in the Outer Banks for Thanksgiving.  Becky and Ariella took the trip with Becky’s brother, Jesse, while I followed one day behind with the dogs.  In order to have a change of pace from listening to the radio (I can’t find my adapter to plug in my iPod), I decided to get a book on tape.  I haven’t listened to a book on tape in a very long time.  At least since my junior year of high school.

While, I am very aware that I did not get as much out of it as I would have if I had read it, it was very pleasant to listen to Chuck Klosterman’s unabridged Downtown Owl on the drive to the OBX.  It was a good book, and the pace of the narrative made the trip fly by.  When the book was done (This ends disc 8 of Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman, read by Chuck Klosterman and accompanied by…some other people whose names I don’t recall), I craved more.  The book progresses chronologically through the fall high school semester into January in the town of Owl, North Dakota (population just over 800).  Within that chronological framework, it tells the stories of the small towns’ residents primarly through the perspective of Mitch, a high school student and occasional quarterback for the football team; Julia, a 23-year-old first-year teacher at Owl’s high school fresh from the big city of Milwaukee; and Horace, an octogenarian widower with iron habits and curmudgeonly opinions. 

I loved it.  My favorite character at first was the angst-ridden Mitch, but by the end, it was solidly Horace.  I think I relate to him more, as I find myself more a creature of habit than I ever thought I could possibly be.  Julia’s adjustment to life as the only single female of age in the town was amusing and entertaining, but not much more for me.  I am glad her story is in there, but I didn’t feel strongly for or against her.

I can’t really provide a flowery description, like my friend Jess, but I would definitely recommend this book.  It’s gritty, funny, serious and engaging right from page 1 (or disc 1 in my case).

()))((()
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[____]

This morning I finished reading If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor by Bruce Campbell.  It was great.  It’s all expository writing.  Well, I guess there are some brief rants about the states of mind in many involved in the TV and film industries.  Notably there is a discussion of spores that is very funny and achingly true.  Reading it, I was reminded of the condition of so many people in Nashville.  They have spores, too; I just didn’t know it at the time.

The book isn’t as funny as I expected it to be.  I expected dark, biting sarcastic humor and snide, accurate, but not bitter jokes at the expense of Hollywood types who we see as “stars.”  There wasn’t any of that.  Actually, quite the opposite.  With some exceptions, stardom is viewed in the book with a bit of sympathy.

The stories about the production of the first Evil Dead movie, and the pre-Evil Dead times with John Cameron, Sam Raimi, Scott Spiegel and others are great, engaging stories. 

This is an easy, entertaining read and is a fun look into the day-to-day life of someone whose job is “Actor.”  It’s a surprisingly normal life; not the glitz and glamour and scandal of Entertainment Weekly and TMZ.   Speaking of which, how much would it suck to get hit by your wife with a golf club?

I recommend this to anyone who likes autobiographies and is into independent movies.  It will show you what it takes to make something independently…truly independently.

My next book is “A Year of Living Biblically” but I need suggestions for other books.  Suggest something, will you?  I’ll tell you how many stars (out of five) your suggestion gets, so sell me on the book and tell me why you think I would like it.  How much you liked it probably won’t impact my idea of how much I would like it unless you’re one of the following people who has proven themselves by providing me nearly all winning recommendations for the last few years:

Elizabeth Foster
Jessica Glass

Yep.  That’s it.

Hace algunos días anunciamos los regresos de varias series de la cadena USA Network, pero en las ultimas horas sus ejecutivos nos sorprendieron al realizar grandes cambios en los días y fechas de estreno de Burn Notice, Psych y White Collar.

A pesar de los anuncios iniciales, finalmente la cadena decidió cambiar totalmente su estrategia y estirar su programación original lo más posible al presentar sus tres series más importantes en tres noches diferentes.

Según lo informado, White Collar regresará con nuevos episodios el martes 19 de enero, Psych realizará lo mismo todos los miércoles desde el 27 de enero y finalmente Burn Notice regresará con su tercera temporada el jueves 21 de enero.

Sin dudas estas son grandes sorpresas, especialmente Psych que dejará su histórico horario de los viernes por un lugar mucho más competitivo en la mitad de la semana después del esperado final de Monk.

Por su parte, White Collar deberá enfrentarse solo al mundo, ya que muchos esperábamos que USA decidiera acompañarlo con Burn Notice, la serie más exitosa de la cadena y una de las más exitosas del cable.

Para terminar, será interesante ver como USA compite con su cadena hermana NBC ya que estas series se enfrentarán directamente con ese experimento que todos conocemos como The Jay Leno Show.

Me and James’ weekly radio segment; Cult Classics went out on Wednesday.

This week’s cult film under review was Beavis and Butthead Do America. A personal favourite of both mine and James’, with an excellent soundtrack, a unique storyline, a Beavis and a Butthead this movie never fails to entertain us.

“Uhh-huh-huh, he said anus, uhh-huh-huh”.

“Entertain-us, ain-us, oh yeah he did, eeheeheehee”

Anyway… Cult Classics is our 10 minute segment on DCUfm’s Final Cut. Films get rated out of a total of 3 Bruce Campbells. You can listen to our review of Beavis and Butthead here.

I’ll upload the previous week’s shows and I’ll have the new ones up as soon as possible.

As always, check us out when we’re live. Me and the Jameybaby do our Cult Classics segment on Final Cut (Wednesdays 8:00 to 9:00) and you can check out James’ LGBT show, Homophonic (Mondays 9:00 to 10:00) which I do my best to produce.

Cyber-Monday Super Sale!! 

Save 5%-20% Off Your Order!*

Take 5% off $25.00-$49.99, 10% off $50.00-$74.99, 15% off $75.00-$99.99 and 20% off $100.00 or more!* Monday, November 30th ONLY.

* $25.00/$50.00/$75.00/$100.00 minimum order is before shipping and/or taxes. Order must contain $25.00-$100.00 or more of product. Discount does not apply to trades. Discount will be automatically applied to your order once minimum amount has been reached. No coupon code required.

Sale is one day only – Monday, November 30th, 2009.

I want one, but you’ve got to be quick. Hail to the King!

Ladies of the Evil Dead: Extreme Edition T-shirt. Designed by the Jeff Zornow, this design features all three “Ladies” jumping out of the design in full 10 color madness, ready to swallow the souls of would-be onlookers and recruit them to their legion of the undead!

Here’s some specs on this limited edition:

•LIMITED TO ONLY 500 SHIRTS!
•T-SHIRT WITH EXCLUSIVE 10 COLOR EYE-POPPING DESIGN
•11×17 SIGNED AND NUMBERED COLLECTIBLE POSTER (by all three ladies of The Evil Dead)
•KEEPSAKE TRAP DOOR COLLECTOR’S BOX
•A VIAL OF EVIL DIRT – A PIECE OF HORROR HISTORY: authentic vial of dirt dug from the grounds where the actual cabin in The Evil Dead once stood in Morristown, TN

For all the full details and to pre-order the below shirt, click here.

Sale goes live today – TO NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIBERS ONLY! So, if you’re not on the list, just go to www.fright-rags.com and sign up, right on the homepage.

Sam Sparks (voiced by Anna Faris) and Flint Lockwood (voiced by Bill Hader)

Based on the 1978 children’s book by husband and wife team Judi and Ron Barrett, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is about an aspiring young inventor named Flint Lockwood. Flint lives on the island sardine fishing town Swallow Falls, which is facing a deep economic depression ever since sardines were declared to be “super gross”. When Flint invents a machine that turns water into food and then accidentally launches that machine into the stratosphere, he inadvertently saves the town when it starts to rain food. However, just when things are looking up for Flint, the food starts to mutate, resulting in bigger and bigger portions falling from the heavens to threaten not only Swallow Falls but the entire world.

Bill Hader energetically provides the voice for Flint and after doing so many scene-stealing comedic supporting roles in films such as Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, Adventureland and Tropic Thunder it is nice to see Hader (well, his voice anyway) getting a lead role. Anna Faris (The House Bunny and The Scary Movie films) is also terrific voicing Sam Sparks, weather presenter and Flint’s love interest. After Princess Fiona’s transformation in Shrek, the moment in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs when Sam drops her faux ditz act to reveal her inner nerd provides one of the more impressive statements in a family film about what qualities make somebody attractive. Other impressive voice-roles include James Caan as Flint’s distant yet endearing father, Bruce Campbell as Swallow Falls’s corrupt and inept mayor and Mr. T as an over zealous police officer.

The computer-generated animation nicely facilitates the rapid-fire humour and increasingly bizarre spectacle of giant items of food falling from the sky. A lot of attention has been paid to the characters’ facial expressions so that characterisation is not secondary to the action. The humour in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is often anarchic, wicked, random and very funny. This is a fun film with a lot of spirit. It is filled with wonderfully dreadful food puns and even effectively parodies disaster films. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs has a lot going for it and it is honestly very difficult to say anything bad about a film that includes a complete throw-away gag where a man rips his own beard off for no good reason.

© Thomas Caldwell, 2009

Read more reviews at MRQE

USA continúa renovando, luego de que ayer les anunciásemos que Psych volvería para una quinta temporada, se ha confirmado oficialmente que el drama de espionaje ambientado en Miami Burn Notice, también volverá a las pantallas el año próximo.

A pesar de que los rumores acerca de la renovación del show para una cuarta temporada habían estado circulando desde hace meses, el trato no fue hecho oficial hasta el día de ayer.  Protagonizado por Jeffrey Donovan, Gabriel Anwar y Bruce Campbell entre otros, el show narra la historia de Michael Westen, un espía que es puesto en la lista negra y forzado a residir en la ciudad de Miami.

Allí intenta ganarse la vida usando sus talentos para realizar todo tipo de trabajos que van desde ladrón hasta detective privado. En medio de ello deberá lidiar con su conflictiva madre, su inestable ex-novia y muchas otras situaciones que siempre están listas para salirse de control más rápido de lo que parece posible.

La cuarta temporada de Burn Notice se estrena en el 2010.

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Inspired by Ron and Judi Barrett’s beloved children’s book of the same name, CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS follows inventor Flint Lockwood (voice of Bill Hader) and brainy weathergirl Sam… Inspired by Ron and Judi Barrett’s beloved children’s book of the same name, CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS follows inventor Flint Lockwood (voice of Bill Hader) and brainy weathergirl Sam Sparks (voice of Anna Faris) as they attempt to discover why the rain in their small town has stopped while food is falling in its place. Meanwhile, lifelong bully Brent (voice of Adam Samberg) relishes in tormenting Flint just as he did when they were kids, and Mayor Shelbourne (voice of Bruce Campbell) schemes to use Flint’s latest invention–a device designed to improve everyone’s lives–for his own personal gain. Mr. T. voices by-the-books cop Earl Devereaux, and James Caan voices Flint’s technophobe father, Tim.

Não aguento mais escrever meu trabalho final, estou de saco cheio e empacada, resolvi fazer um post sobre meu novo filme preferido Army Of Darkness.

Ele é a terceira parte da trilogia Evil Dead, que tem um nome aqui, mas eu esqueci e não to afim de procurar agora, então se virem. O diretor é Sam Raimi, que todos devem conhecer dos filmes do Homem Aranha, mas que deviam conhecer por essa trilogia que é simplesmente épica. O personagem principal é um dos melhores que eu já vi, e praticamente toda frase que sai da boca desse homem merece ser citada, entao resolvi fazer esse post apenas de citações dele.

Sheila: You found me beautiful once.
Ash: Honey, you got real ugly.

Ash: Gimme some sugar, baby.

 Ash: It’s a trick. Get an axe.

Ash: Good? Bad? I’m the guy with the gun.

Old Woman: I’ll swallow your soul!
Ash: Come get some.

Ash: Hail to the king, baby!

Ash: You see this? THIS… is my BOOM STICK!

E minha personal favorite :

Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its people.                                     
Ash : Well hellooo Mister Fancypants. I’ve got news for you pal, you ain’t leading but two things right now: Jack and shit… and Jack just left town.

 Claro que a enormidade da awsomeness que é esse filme não pode ser transmitida apenas por citações, você precisa ver para crer, mas, como eu não tenho um link direto nem pra versão separada de YouTube dessa merda, vou colocar uns videos aleatórios :

Citações

Trailer do filme

Minha nova paixão platônica (sim, sim, dois em menos de uma semana, that’s how I roll) agradece pelo seu tempo :

Ya que todavía no había tocado el tema y ha surgido mucho material sobre ello, vamos hacer un remix de las noticias salidas hasta la fecha sobre el futuro de la saga arácnida. Sabemos que Sam Raimi, Tobey Maguire, Kristen Dunst, J.K. Simons y  Dylan Baker están de vuelta para reinterpretar sus respectivos roles. Se sabe también que el mítico Bruce Campbell, que ya protagonizo diversos cameos en las tres películas anteriores, tendrá un papel con mayor protagonismo en esta nueva película sobre Spider-man. Sabemos también, por las recientes declaraciones de Raimi, primero que esperan comenzar con el rodaje en Marzo del 2010, y segundo, que el personaje volverá a los orígenes de las primeras entregas en las que solo había un villano.

Hasta aquí todo oficial. Ahora bien, un tema que siempre da mucho juego en este tipo de películas es especular sobre el/los villano/s que hará/n frente al protagonista. Con las declaraciones de Bruce Campbell hablando sobre un rol más importante en “Spider-man 4″, la gente comenta que podría encarnar a Mysterio, puesto que ya se generó una gran rumorología con este tema cuando “Spider-man 3” se encontraba en pleno desarrollo.

Otro villano que toma fuerza es el Lagarto. Personalmente creo que esta seria la opción mas lógica tras habernos presentado al Dr. Curt Connors en los dos últimos títulos y dejándonos pistas sobre sus investigaciones y conociendo todos como terminará el manco Doctor.

Pero ahora nos llegan nuevos rumores sobre un posible cast para interpretar a Felicia Hardy, es decir, a la Gata Negra. Dos actrices han saltado a la palestra como posibles candidatas para encarnar al personaje, Rachel McAdams y Romola Garai. La primera ya ha desmentido la noticia, y de la segunda no sabemos nada.

Y para cerrar el post, un anuncio oficial sobre un casting para el que se requieren gemelos exactos, de 2 o 3 años para interpretar a un niño de 2, y que sean pelirrojos. Muchos ya oyen los gritos del Carnage de Cletus Kasady en un posible flashbacks del personaje y otros se echan las manos a la cabeza al haber posibilidades de que Peter Parker tenga un hijo en la cuarta, que no ultima, entrega de El Hombre Araña.