All depends.  Is any one looking?  Just kidding.  It’s really a no win situation.  I recommend you just squeeze/pin her until she cries. Seriously.

Who’s got a better ass, Kim Kardashian or Jessica Biel? – UpstandingNewscast

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to research this topic.  There was an unsurprising amount of internet material available devoted completely to the subject.  In any event, after a quick review it was obvious for me.  Biel by far.  It looks waaaaaay more legitimate. It’s fucking TEXTBOOK.  KK’s looks like a cartoon, more distracting than anything.  Granted, that’s not really my thing.  As long as it keep her comfortable, she can have that area completely to herself if she likes.  She’s more likely to catch a towel in the kitchen from me, than anything else.

What’s with people scoffing at you when you leave a movie when the credits begin to roll?  Am I being rude? -FHP617

This has happened to me twice, both times by film school students.  Who are the worst kind of pompous hypocrites, by the way. I bet they go out to a restaurant and enjoy an awesome meal prepared for them, UNIQUELY AND SPECIFICALLY, without even considering to thank the chef or ask his name, let alone the prep cooks and everyone else who made it possible, just a few feet away.  Oh, but we have to know who foley assistants were.  How is knowing who the caterer was helpful information?   If only I know where I could get that delicious meal I NEVER SAW.

If you had $8 and 2 hours. How would you make a profit? -Jussumdood

Access to popular area and a child? Bake sale or lemonade stand. Seriously. Bake sales make serious bank. You can charge $2-$3 a brownie if the kid is cute.

Thoughts on Obama’s pick for Supreme Court? -MizzJayWizz

I’m hesitant to admit that my first thought was “Wow, she’s a real beefplow, isn’t she?”  I mean, she might be the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Of course it doesn’t matter what I think.  She’s not only a lesbian, but far more important to care.  Still, you know she’s qualified and charismatic. She’s obviously been very persuasive overcoming the obvious drawback of  that cranial deformity and becoming the first shaved sasquatch ever nominated for Supreme Court.  Quite an accomplishment.

If I were to ask of you “Who’s da Mastah?!?”  You would then reply…. -Hundrednten

“Sho-Nuff!”  Also, because of this question, I just sang three verses of the Last Dragon song. Out loud. Window open. Apartment complex. Before I recognized what I was doing and stopped.  Power of the Glow!

Please use the space after this e-mail to complain about something worthless in true WMC style, with hyperbole and a vague attempt at humor.  You are wasting your time. -AcidSloshed

Glad your on board with the basic premise.  *Ahem*  Who the FUCK changed the recipe for TANG?  Did they actually have a fancy business meeting in a luxurious conference room with a veggie platter and decide that the general public wanted to drink Sunny Delight, but was too embarrassed to buy it?   Because that’s exactly what it tastes like now. There’s not even a reason to buy Sunny Delight that it’s so easy to make your own.  The simple process of mixing orange juice concentrate and nail polish remover in your bathtub is all you need to replicate the taste-fucking your tongue gets on contact.  Why are people changing classics for a few bucks?   Buzz Aldrin is rolling in his grave. Thanks for reading.

Bold decision: I’m moving home for the summer.  I had my whole life planned out and it didn’t go so well. I’m 24 I don’t need to be super independent, even though I’m quite capable of it. Everyone I know still lives at home. Do I really have to pretend I’m better, and then choose between a yankee game or a movie as my only ent for the month? I’ve been budgeting meals and paying down credit cards, and now I’m debt free but I still live well out of my means for my current income.  I’m gonna move back home through sept, save a shitload of money and then get a place in the fall. -RufusPEverton

Moving home is the safe decision, not the bold one. Bold is grabbing your lady by the hips and renting a garbage basement apartment for three months to get your shit together while leaving everyone at home to think “I don’t know what happened to Rufus P Everton, he hasn’t been around in forever, things must be going well.”  Don’t get me wrong, do whatever you think is best and I hope it works out for you. But, I’ll be damned if I’m going to hear about someone going back to mommy and daddys house claiming it’s an intrepid heroic adventure.

(This was when I fell In Love with Mr. Bruce Leroy(TAIMAK)      

     Ok…so I obviously got carried away with the pics, Can you really blame me though?…This beautifully chiseled statuesque artwork is the one and only Taimak Guarriello, the lead actor and martial artist in the 1985 cult classic, “THE LAST DRAGON”. Everybody and their momma saw this movie…and everybody and their granny loved It!…Mr. Guarriello has many notable accomplishments under his belt, literally, as “a martial arts choreographer and trainer”. He has appeared in several stage plays over his career, and recently became apart of the original stage play known as “Last Life”, written by Eric Sanders.      

 (official website for the play : http://www.lastlifetheplay.com/ (which opened to Incredible reviews)      

Taimak’s official website : http://www.taimak.tv/      

Taimak’s Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/taimak        

     I congratulate you Taimak on your lifetime of great achievements and uplifting the youth in a positive and respectable manner. You are truly a role model for people everywhere and I’m honored to feature you as the “Hot Bod” of the day and “Role Model” of the week. A highly intelligent and inspirational individual  you are. Officially the first person ever inducted and bestowed with this prestigious title.      

**Thank You**     

I couldn't help myself...had to add one last pic...(Beautiful on the Inside and Out)

Sho’nuff: When I say “Who’s da master?” you say “Sho’nuff.” Who’s da master?!?
Bruce Leroy: I am.
- Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon (1985)

In 1985, my cousin, Mark, who was obsessed with all things martial arts-related, took me to see Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon, the cheesy, racially tone-deaf story of an African-American Kung Fu “master” living in Harlem. I was 8 and already quite accustomed to his addiction as we spent many a Saturday morning watching dubbed black-and-white movies about ninja and samurai trying to live honorably, and beating the crap out of those who refused to let them. Although I occasionally complained that I was missing The Smurfs, Scooby-Doo, and various other cartoons during these times, I, too, was taken with these movies. My idolization of my older cousin made liking them possible.

At 20, Mark was a chocolate-hued god, one who owned and properly used nunchucks, knew how to center his Chi, and could administer a roundhouse kick to the head. Going to the movies with him was an honor and a privilege, and knowing that he’d chosen me, his chunky, introspective, prepubertal cousin, for such an expedition was the best feeling in the world. Looking back on it now, I can clearly see that he probably had no other options. (True fanboys rarely did back in those days. And Mark was a black fanboy from the ‘hood who wore Mandarin shirts and Kung Fu slip-ons with white socks. Options? Fugetaboutit.)

Honestly, I don’t remember a thing about sitting in that darkened theater with my favorite cousin. I draw a complete blank on that day, but when The Last Dragon finally made its HBO debut, I was hooked. I taped the movie on Betamax and spent the entire summer indoors, watching it at least once a day while my mother was at work. When Bruce Leroy rescued VJ vixen Laura Charles from the bridge-and-tunnel thugs who worked for evil arcade game mogul Eddie Arcadian, I gasped. When he saved her again from said thugs and they almost kiss as a result, I blushed. When he saved her a final time, catching a bullet in the teeth for his beloved, I was in full-on swoon mode. I knew every line, move, and song by heart by the time school started up again.

Maybe I did it all for posterity. In the time since the movie had hit the big screen, Mark had managed to get a girlfriend and when he knocked her up, their daughter instantly became the center of his world. Nunchucks and throwing stars were replaced with diapers and bottles, our Saturday morning retreats to the world of Kung Fu and karate movies long gone. Maybe watching The Last Dragon ad nauseam reminded me of how things were before my cousin had gotten “cool” and dropped his old obsession for a new and improved one. Then again, maybe it was just that, in my girlie little mind, Bruce Leroy was hotter than the sun.

Watching TV as a kid, no one looked like me, my friends or for that matter, anyone I knew. Maybe it was just me (doubt it), but I eventually noticed.

To be honest, I don’t remember my 1st Bruce Lee moment – but I know that after I did see him in Fists of Fury, it was on.

Its like when I first saw Magic or MJ play – I ran outside and tried to do what I just watched. My sister Janice never won any of these moments and my parents hated all the damn hangers I broke to rig up some nunchucks. But just to be real for a quick sec, Bruce had me believing I could be anything in life.

So naturally, I wanted to pay my respects to the Original Gangster. Lucky enough, it was pretty easy to get there. Only part I wasn’t ready for, was realizing that his son Brandon was buried right next to him. Both so talented and died tragically.

But I am glad we went – Thank you for being an inspiration.

Now I just need to reach that FINAL LEVEL. Am I “glowing” yet?

Ha – if you don’t know, now you know!

]]> http://conceptcity.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/video-the-last-rapper-the-last-dragon-spoof/ Thu, 28 May 2009 00:01:09 +0000 lahnclass http://conceptcity.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/video-the-last-rapper-the-last-dragon-spoof/

via missinfo

Title: Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon (PG-13)
Directed by: Michael Schultz
Written by: Louis Venosta
Starring:  Taimak as ‘Bruce’ Leroy Green
                    Vanity as Laura Charles
                     Christopher Murney as Eddie Arkadian
                     Julius Carryas Sho’nuff

Tagline: He’s a martial arts master… oh, hell. Just read it on the poster above. It’s too long to write it again.

 By El Ron

Pre-screening memories: I was never the most threatening kid in school. I was no pushover, mind you, but I was never one to pack on the pounds. It did not help that I was never really motivated to put effort into developing a physique that would instill fear.

I was always looking for  shortcut.

I enlisted at the local karate studio, but the “master” always seemed a tad too overzealous for my casual approach to martial arts. Lucky for me, tutelage came in a much more entertaining package: enter, The Dragon. The Last Dragon, or, more specifically, Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon.

All I had to do was follow Taimak’s moves and I could attain my own “Glow,” right?

I quickly learned that more went into the martial arts than just watching Bruce Leroy and Sho N’uff battle on a loop in my VCR. But what I did glean from my multiple viewings was a fleeting love of DeBarge, a poor sense of fashion and a love for all the action contained within.

New memories: I had no idea of just how funny this film was. A lot of the broad comedy connected back then,but until I learned more about film, I had no idea on just how many levels this film worked for me. It was great to be able to share those memories with Mr. Eddie Arkadian himself, Chris Murney.

___________________________________________________________________

Download the podcast here: The Last Dragon with Chris Murney

…or, visit the online listening dojo below:

_________________________________________________________________

Our featured guest: Christopher Murney

Whether it’s his voice or his face, Chris Murney has carved out a memorable career on radio, videogames, television and film. He has won numerous CLIO awards for his memorable adverting work, perhaps most notable as the voice of Chester Cheetah from the Cheetos commercials. He television works included spots on Miami Vice, M*A*S*H, One Life to Live and was also a regular on the beloved AMC series Remember WENN for its four-season run. In film, he has worked with the Coen Brothers on Barton Fink, Last Exit to Brooklyn, The Secret of My Success, Stephen King’s Maximum Overdrive and the Paul Newman cult classic Slap Shot.

Mr. Murney was a great guest and a lot of fun, and we hope to hear many more of his tales on future films selected by our Natsukashi readers and writers.

Se você tem mais de 20 anos, com certeza deve ter assistido a esse clássico dos anos 80, ainda que não se lembre. Aliás, me surpreende o fato de algumas pessoas não se lembrarem de um herói negro chamado Bruce Leroy, que luta Kung Fu, está em busca da lendária “Aura” para enfim se tornar “O Mestre” e não sabe lidar com garotas? Ou então de um vilão chamado Sho’Nuff, que se auto denomina “O Xógum do Harlem”, se veste com um quimono vermelho sangue, tem um cabelo parecido com o do Bozo, tem um séquito de seguidores que parece ter saído de algum futuro punk-pós-apocalíptico, quebra qualquer um que cruze seu caminho e tem como único objetivo de vida derrotar Bruce Leroy? E tudo isso ao som do melhor da Motown na época.

Produzido pela Motown Movies e dirigido por Michael Schultz, O Último Dragão (The Last Dragon, 1985) apresenta a história de Bruce Leroy (o “lutador e modelo”, Taimak), um rapaz que sempre teve como único objetivo de vida praticar seu Kung Fu até a exaustão, sempre seguindo os ideais de Bruce Lee. Até que um dia, seu mestre lhe diz que não tem mais nada a lhe ensinar, e que agora ele deve trilhar sozinho seu caminho em busca da “Aura”, para assim se tornar “O Mestre”. Porém, em seu caminho está Sho’Nuff (o recentemente falecido Julius Carry), o auto-denominado “Xógum do Harlem”, que precisa derrotar Leroy para se tornar supremo entre os lutadores. Para piorar as coisas, Leroy se apaixona por Laura Charles, uma musa da música que apresenta um programa na TV, que é seqüestrada por Eddie Arcade, um empresário sem escrúpulos do mundo dos videogames.

Com uma trilha sonora de muita qualidade e todo um clima leve, o filme presta uma homenagem à Bruce Lee, usando de várias frases famosas dele, e também de trechos de seus filmes; além é claro, de o fato de Bruce Leroy ter em Bruce Lee um modelo de pessoa e de lutador, esforçando-se para ser cada vez mais parecido com ele. Enquanto que, do outro lado, Sho’Nuff é o esteriótipo de vilão sem escrúpulos, capaz de quebrar a pizzaria dos pais do herói só para intimidá-lo, ou até mesmo de bater numa criança. Tudo isso em cima de um subtexto do “garoto que reluta em virar homem”. Inclusive, é notável o tesão reprimido do garoto Bruce Leroy em relação à sexy Laura Charles.

Quem espera lutas extremamente realistas e fartamente coreografadas, vai se decepcionar. Não que elas sejam ruins, mas são um arroz-com-feijão básico, já que o único que realmente sabia lutar ali era Taimak. Porém, isso de longe compromete o filme. Muito pelo contrário, ver coisas mais “sérias” num filme desses seria dar um tiro no próprio pé. Fiquem aí com algumas cenas.

Sho’Nuff vai ao cinema

Laura Charles mostra a Bruce Leroy um clip com as melhores cenas de Bruce Lee

A luta final entre Bruce Leroy e Sho’Nuff

According to Entertainment Weekly, Samuel L. Jackson has been cast as Sho Nuff in the remake of Berry Gordy’s 1985 film, The Last Dragon. Umm…yeah.  I am so going to see this!  What I don’t understand is why some bloggers are so outraged by the decision to remake the movie.  Yeah yeah, it’s a cult classic BUT you can’t argue with the fact that nobody rocks a wig like Sam.  This is a role where it really is all about the hair and if Sam can’t do it no one can.  Wait a minute…Busta did do a pretty decent job in his “Dangerous” video.  But back to Sam.  My favorite two looks of his are as Odell Robbie in Jackie Brown (1997) and Elmo McElroy in Formula 51 (2001).  What are your favorites and who else do you think should be cast in the movie?

Ladies and gentleman, i finally have the news that we have all been waiting for. There will be a remake to Berry Gordy’s “The Last Dragon.” It will be co-produced by the RZA and Dallas Jackson. “The Last Dragon” has to be one of the best movies from my childhood. If you don’t have this in your collection, please go out and get it today.

Props to Keion for showing this to me!

READ full story below:

Even bigger news is that Samuel L. Jackson has agreed to play Sho’nuff (the Harlem Shogun Warrior) who is Bruce Leroy’s (the main character/good guy) adversary. If you people don’t know what i’m talking about, read the synopsis below and watch the clip. If I tried to describe it, I would ramble on for paragraphs and paragraphs. Check it out:

“A young man searches for the “master” to obtain the final level of martial arts mastery known as the glow. Along the way he must fight an evil martial arts expert and an rescue a beautiful singer from an obsessed music promoter.”

Below is a clip of when Sho’nuff enters Bruce Leroy’s dojo and starts trouble. Great movie!

Reviewing Frank Miller’s 300 Movie; Batman News: Goodbye, Katie Holmes, Hello Maggie Gyllenhall, Jason “My Name is Earl” Lee is David Seville.

Direct Download: Killing Time 032
Trouble getting the episode or want to hear more? Go to KillingTime.TV.

Duration: 8:56
File size: 4.1MB

Links to everything we talked about: del.icio.us/killingtimeshow/032

Reviewing Frank Miller’s 300 Movie; Batman News: Goodbye, Katie Holmes, Hello Maggie Gyllenhall, Jason “My Name is Earl” Lee is David Seville.

Direct Download: Killing Time 032
Trouble getting the episode or want to hear more? Go to KillingTime.TV.

Duration: 8:56
File size: 4.1MB

Links to everything we talked about: del.icio.us/killingtimeshow/032

What are the 3 episodes?
Part 003 of the Dick DeBartolo Interview – Dick trashes J.B.
Braden Russell of the HDTV Podcast fights with I.A. over surround sound.

and

The Taimak Interview with I.A. and J.B. The star of the cult-classic “Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon” on Killing Time, and it’s a hell of an episode.

What are the 3 episodes?
Part 003 of the Dick DeBartolo Interview – Dick trashes J.B.
Braden Russell of the HDTV Podcast fights with I.A. over surround sound.

and

The Taimak Interview with I.A. and J.B. The star of the cult-classic “Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon” on Killing Time, and it’s a hell of an episode.

A head’s up on my side-project: the Killing Time Podcast. For those of you who don’t know, I host a podcast called “Killing Time.” It’s an entertainment review podcast dedicated to finding entertainment that does not suck.

Last weekend my co-host, J.B., and I interviewed the one and only, Taimak. He is best known as the star of the cult classic movie, “Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon.” The interview went very well and is quite amusing.

The interview will be posted as a podcast in the coming weeks (pending approval).