The Senators are in Boston tonight after winning their last five home games. Here is an image from each of those games. This post isn’t too inventive, but it’s all I got right now.

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]]> http://thefanaticalfan.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/old-time-hockey/ Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:25:06 +0000 Frostee http://thefanaticalfan.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/old-time-hockey/

First I was happy when the Sabres scored the first goal.  Then I was concerned when the Flyers scored two quick ones (Dear Sabres, Work on actually playing for twenty full minutes, not nineteen and a half.  With Love, Frostee).  Then I was cautiously optimistic when they came back, and then I was happy again when they won 4-2.  When you start and end happy, consider it a good game.

Score aside, that was one big chippy chipfest.  Wow.  So much fighting and hitting and players writhing on the ice in pain and me having mini panic attacks.  All in all, I think the Sabres alone ended up with 13 3 casualties?  Patty getting kicked out, Goosie hurting one leg and Craigory hurting two?  Then there was Tyler Myers, but thank the merciful and great hockey gods, he came back.

Both Paul and Craig’s injuries looked serious.  The Sabres will miss having their captain around, but Paul Gaustad has been one of the best players for the team aside from Ryan Miller.  They’re going to miss him a lot.

Mayhaps we can call up Tyler Ennis?  If he’s not too busy with other things?

Tim Connolly had a spectacular night afternoon.  Good on ya for finally doing something, Timothy.

Mike Richards is the slimiest of all the slimeballs in the land, and I don’t like him.  He’s so dirty, and he’ll always get away with it because he’s Mike Richards (cue Pierre McGuire).  I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Patty got suspended for his hit, but no one’s going to do anything about Richards.

Ray Emery is not a very good goalie.  I don’t know why everyone kept thinking he’s the reason the team could actually make a deep run this season.

Killing off all the power players against the best power play in the league was pretty spiffy, boys.  Good work.

Stupid Scott Hartnell felt the need to pick on Timmy K, aka someone half his size.  Keep it classy, Scott.

I don’t like Philadelphia.  This win was very satisfying.

It was also an important win to get, because I’m already nervous about tomorrow night and to go into a game against Carolina with a five game losing streak is a recipe for disaster.

Sabres, please don’t completely embarrass yourselves at home against the Hurricanes.  That would be tragic.

I created this a week ago, let me know what you think!

Dear Sabres,

Oh boy, you guys got off lucky.  I didn’t have the heart to yell at you on Thanksgiving (I hope you had a nice dinner with your dads), and today I’m in too good of a mood.  I’m even at peace with the fact that I didn’t score a post T-day deep discounted fancy-pants heritage organic free-range turkey at the Weggies like I did last year.  (I knew I should’ve gotten up at 7.  Seriously, kids – best turkey EVER.)  Also, I kind of forgot why I was so cranky.

Why am I so happy?  I don’t think it’s turkey-induced serotonin.  I think it’s because two teams I love are playing two teams I hate, and I have a good feeling about both games (DON’T LET ME DOWN).  In fact, the following improbable and totally awesome series of events summarizes my feelings about today far, far better than mere words ever could.

Tragically, the embed is refusing to cooperate

(After viewing this 30 times in the last 12 hours, I can say with absolute certainty that if Chris Pronger falls on his ass, I will laugh every single time.  Endless love to any Sabre that can pull off something like this.)

Today’s massive queue of games is looking to be quite the good vs evil line up.  For the morally ambivalent, I have identified the good (in classy Sabres blue) and the evil (in orange, of course) for each game.

12 pm:

Devils @ Bruins

1 pm:

Sabres @ Flyers

2 pm

Penguins @ Islanders (draw)

Avalanche @ Wild (because Colorado is annoying and boring)

4pm

Blackhawks @ Ducks

7 pm

Thrashers @ Hurricanes (I’m not sure I’m willing to call the Trashers good, but the Hurricanes are certainly evil)

Flames @ Redwings

7:30 pm

Maple Leafs @ Panthers (draw)

Rangers @ Lightning

8 pm

Blues @ Predators (because Jay McKee was a Blue)

9 pm

Stars @ Coyotes (because desert hockey is stupid, and a Scottsdale newspaper once said something snotty about Buffalo)

9:30 pm

Sharks @ Oilers (because Pat Quinn is an asshole)

Dear Mom,

I love you, but you are totally crazy and you watch too much Martha Stewart.  I am thankful you did not assume I was high or drunk when I stood in the kitchen and giggled uncontrollably for way too long at your Peggy Post-iness.

I am thankful I got Dad’s sense of humor.

Yesterday I started writing a Thanksgiving post centered around a tribute to Rick Jeanneret, but I was too lazy to finish it before I left for my parents’, and when I came home it just sounded flat.  But I am still thankful that RJ is one of us, and maybe I’ll try again some other time.

I am thankful for my extreme lactose tolerance; I am thankful that the Master of the Domain, my bratty weirdo dog, is also so cute and cuddly I couldn’t imagine being without him; I am thankful the world continues to come up with new and creative ways to amuse me (Women’s Wellness Cocoa mix?); and I am thankful for 10-foot tall aluminum foil Stanley Cups on Richmond Avenue, and I want to see one again this spring, Sabres.

Love,

Me

We’ll start the festivities with the Buffalo Sabres, and a semi-regular feature I’m calling ”Would, coulda, shoulda.” The point is simple enough, to look at a team’s first-round picks since the year 2000, assign them a grade and then suggest an alternate draft pick.

2000: The Sabres took Artem Kryukov 17th overall,  one of the worst picks in recent memory. A brief internet search is failing me, but I believe Kryukov initially suffered a few concussions. He never made it to North America and is currently playing in the KHL. Grade: F

Who they coulda had: The Sabres were seeking high-end skill to complement their rugged team and all-world goalie. Frankly, the whole 2000 draft was slim pickings, but the obvious offensive gem in the late first-round was Alexander Frolov, drafted by the Los Angeles team for which he still plays. Justin Williams was also available. Late round steals: Paul Gaustad in the seventh-round.

2001: The Sabres stayed behind the former Iron Curtain for Czech Jiri Novotny with the 22nd overall pick, again in the hopes of making changes to an otherwise dry well of offensive talent. The big pivot turned out to be a decent minor league and NHL player, but never justified whatever the Sabres overseas scouts saw in him. He ended up getting traded to the Capitals along with a first-round pick for Danius Zubrus, just so Zubrus could be useless in the 2007 playoffs. Grade: C

Who they coulda had: Honestly, the next guy taken who really panned out was in the second round, and his name was Derek Roy. After Roy, the Kings picked up second-round steal Michael Camalleri. Late round steals: None. Besides the excellent Roy pick, this was be another piss-poor draft for the Sabres.

2002: The Sabres drafted small, talented rearguard and Minnesota native Keith Ballard at the 11th spot. Ballard has been in the NHL just about what was expected out of him at the University of Minnesota. His rights were traded, however, before he ever finished college  to Colorado for Steve Reinpreicht. Colorado then shipped him in a multi-player deal to Phoenix. One of the things that came back to the Avalanche in that trade was a second-round pick, used to take Peter Stastny in 2005! Buffalo also took Daniel Paille at 20th overall, who played a couple seasons but never could find the necessary levels of consistency and offensive production. Paille was recently traded to the Bruins for a 3rd pick and a conditional 4th round pick. Grade: B. 

Who they coulda had: If the Sabres had just clung for one more year to their trend of taking Eastern European/Russian players, they might have taken a flier on Alexander Semin, who went to Washington two picks after Ballard.  Late round steal: 8th round pick Dennis Wideman, who never played for the Sabres or their affiliate.

2003: The Sabres joined the bonanza in the best draft in recent memory, taking Austrian Thomas Vanek 5th overall. Vanek has struggled to become an all-around player,  but you can’t argue with taking a guy who will certainly flirt with the 400 goal mark. He was taken one pick after the flaky and now irrelevant Nikolai Zherdev and ahead of big-man and very good player Milan Michalek. Grade: A.

Who they coulda had: Hard to argue with Vanek in this scenario, but there were actually a bunch of better  players taken after him, including Dion Phaneuf, Jeff Carter, Zach Parise, Ryan Getzlaf, Mike Richards, Corey Perrey and even Patrice Bergeron in the 2nd round. Late round steal: Clark MacArthur, 3rd round, Nathan Paetsch, 7th round.

2004: The Sabres make the best of an extremely weak draft, taking Drew Stafford 13th overall out of the University of North Dakota. 2 1/2 years later and Stafford was a Sabre, where he’s remained ever since. He has slowly grown into an effective force at all ends of the rink and still has untapped offensive potential. Grade: A.

Who they coulda had: The Devils took Travis Zajac at 20 and the Avalanche took Wojtek Wolski at 21. Both are nice players but neither are obviously better than Stafford. Late round steals: Andre Sejkera, 3rd round, Patrick Kaleta, 6th round.

2005: I remember watching the lottery for Sidney Crosby, remember watching one-by-one as lucky teams took their spot at the top of the draft order. When it was all over the Sabres were 13th in the draft. Now, yes, this was the Crosby year, and Bobby Ryan went right after him. But do you realize that Anze Kopitar was taken 11th overall? Or that Marc Staal was 12th? Well, you do now. The Sabres took Marek Zagrapan, who failed to progress in four years of play in the QMHL and AHL. He is now playing for Cherepovets Severstal of the KHL, where reports have him flourishing. Thanks, Marek. Grade: D.

Who they coulda had: The only reason the grade isn’t an F is Zagrapan and three picks after him have played a combined total of two NHL games. Monstrous Martin Hanzal (Pho.) and speedy Andrew Cogliano (Edm.) have somewhat justified their first-round picks, but their numbers still lag behind expectations. Late round steals: Chris Butler, 4th round.  

2006: By the time the Sabres took Swede Dennis Persson 24th overall, there wasn’t much talent left in the draft. He finally made it to North America last year and is currently playing for the Sabres affiliate in Maine. In seventeen games he has one point.

Who they coulda had: Milan Lucic! But then everybody could else could have had him too. The Bruins took Lucic with the 50th overall pick in the second round, one of several incredible second-round picks this decade from the boys from Boston. Late round steals: Goaltender Jhonas Enroth looks like an NHL player some day, 2nd round. Later picks Alex Biega and Felix Shutz are still in the Sabres system.

2007: The Sabres didn’t have a first-round pick in 2007. This feature is really designed as a quick analysis of first-rounders, but it’s worthwhile taking a look at their second-round pick, TJ Brennan, since he was taken 31st overall. After a very good career in the Q, Brennan appears ready to make a pro impact.

Late round steals: Most of the players picked are still inching their way upward in the Sabres system.

2008: The Sabres made the absolute most of a rich draft class, switching spots with Los Angeles to take the monstrous, 2009-10 rookie of the year candidate Tyler Myers. Later, they made what seemed like a questionable decision given the amount of smaller skill players in their system, drafting 5-foot-9 Tyler Ennis 26th overall. It took Ennis, an offensive dynamo in the rough-and-tumble Western Hockey League, one year to make the jump to the pro ranks, where he’s currently flourishing in Portland, Maine. Grade: A.

Who they coulda taken: Nobody. If Myers future didn’t look so high-beam bright, you could make an argument for speedy Rangers D-man Michael Del Zotto, taken 20th overall and having a great rookie year himself. Late-round steals: Sabres appeared to have hit the green again with their second-round pick, Luke Adam. Fifth-round pick Jacob Lagace has upped his game in the Q.

2009: The Sabres used their annual early teens first-round pick on Zack Kassian, a necessity for a team that needs more forwards who combine size and skill. Here’s hoping we get to see more of Kassian at the World Juniors.

Hockey, you and I are back ON…for now. Thing 1 and Thing 2’s team had a great game on Wednesday night. They lost 2-1, but it was a scrimmage against a team from a higher tier and the boys still competed extremely well. I was impressed.

Sabres, you are on Jessica punishment. That means every last lazy-ass, non-scoring, non-winning one of you. Even you Ryan Miller. I don’t care if it is not your job to score! If your teammates cannot possibly score ONE measly little goal in an entire game, well then TOO BAD. You are just going to have to let in negative amounts of goals. Or score one yourself. Make it work. If a bunch of 9 and 10 year olds can score against a team in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LEAGUE, then the NHL Sabres should manage to score against the NHL Washington Capitals. In fact, on your current four game losing streak, Sabres, you have been outscored 15-6, so you are clearly ALL to blame.

I think it is super cute that many of the Sabres’ dads have accompanied the team on this Thanksgiving road trip. The Buffalo News reports that the fathers and sons have been visiting tourist spots in Washington, D.C. and that the dads were on the practice ice for a group photo.  They also took some shots at the goalies. (Hey–I wonder if THEY managed to score and, if so, can we sneak them onto the roster? Does it really matter WHICH Roy wears #9?) I love that the team did this father/son bonding trip and I find it very sweet. But what I would REALLY love is if those dads could dig back to their days of coaching their sons (because surely many of them did) and curse and yell and scream at their boys to get their asses in gear. That is what the coaches on Thing 1 and Thing 2’s team do. Thing 1 told me recently that when the coaches (all dads) yell, “It is a little scary and it makes you feel uncomfortable.” In other words, it works.

Just a teeny tiny suggestion, Sabres dads. From one parent to another. After all, we both want to see our boys WIN.

Dear Sabres,

You’re grounded.  More on this later.

Dear Craig Rivet,

You’re fired.  At least until one of your teammates makes me want to fire him more.

Dear Blackhawks,

You guys are being awesome as usual and Huet is making the Sharks look like guppies and I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GUYS SCORED THREE SHORTHANDED GOALS IN A ROW and Patrick Sharp wants to remind me why I love him but it is impossible for me to enjoy this game to the degree I should because the Sabres are assholes who forgot how to score goals.  I know this is unfair to you, and I’m sorry.

SEVEN????? You guys are so much fun.  But the Sabres still suck.

Let me start by confessing how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE sitting with my nose bleeders. I truely love you guys so much. We were REALLY up there and the game was pretty lack luster but you all made up for it with massive entertainment. But more about who were sitting with after this jump;

The Weagle Scout of the Game:

Varlastar! For his awesome shut out perfomance.

Now we had a real nose bleeder all star cast; The guys you sit by at least once a year but very rarely all together in the same spot at the same time. It was like seeing a unicorn:

We had the guy who was really smashed by the second period who made really awesome loud commentary that I love so much; he’s my favorite nose bleeder.

We had the kid sitting next to me who was the teenage boy dragged to the game by his casual fan father.

The “Crosbiatch” jersey, which I did not know about because I did not read “Jersey Fouls” on Puckdaddy this week, so I had no idea I was sitting with celebrity. I didn’t snap a photo like I wanted to but since he’s already famous I guess that’s okay.

And, last but not least the really obnoxious, rude and unnessecary, each of them has to get five times in every period nose bleeders who today happened to be Sabres’ fans which makes it double obnoxious and rude sitting in our row.

Now really drunk awesome guy doesn’t like Buffalo OR Chris Clark as he told us “I hate Buffalo! It’s the worst town in America! I don’t want your steel mills!” So the entire arena heard or “Chris Clark hasn’t had a twenty goal season since 2006! I HATE YOU!” Also loudly but not quite as loud. Right before the third he realized an equal drunk Sabres fan was sitting a couple seats down from him in this row they exchanged some “CAPS SUCK!/SABRES SUCKS”s then when a song came on Caps drunk man did a seductive little dance at him. I loved him very much.

Annoying Sabres fans who got up constantly and I mean CONSTANTLY I have never ever seen a single person leave their seat that much EVER in all my years of hockey game attending and there was a whole group of them! Well I was getting really pissed off during the third because they had kicked it up a notch and finally they were leaving with thirty seconds left in the period and the one man who had been the worst of them sneered at us “Staying to the bitter end, huh?”

Well Readers I did something bad, I lost my temper and kids cover your eyes here I screamed “YOU ARE AN ASS HAT, SIR!” as he walked away.

Anna LOST it and began to laugh really hard. She found the funniest part the fact that “Why did you have to say ’sir’ at the end?” (as she asked me) I don’t usually do that to opposing fans but he was really pushing my ever loving buttons.

The game itself was a little less than action packed but the people we sat with were just so awesome it may just be the best game I’ve been to.

I’m sorry to Mike Green, thought you DO suck I shouldn’t have shouted it at you when you got the delay of game penalty because I’m not “that” fan and don’t want to be. It just sort of burst out of my mouth very loudly.

Anna and I both will have pictures from warm-up on the blog later.

As usual, I started the game with conflicting feelings. Then Alex scored, and, um, well, you can figure out who I started rooting for after that.

I was really impressed with the Caps tonight. They managed to hold on to a lead in a game that was 1-0 for the majority of it, and they even managed to kill off lots of penalties late. Holy sweet mother of mercy, Mike Green even played DEFENSE. Like, how does that even HAPPEN? It must have been some sort of Thanksgiving miracle. I’m fully confident he will return to suckiness Saturday night. But it was kind of nice seeing him clear the puck out and do various defensive things. Totally weird to watch, but nice.

Varly, you’s a crazy mofo. ILY even if you do think American girls are really fat.

Lars played a very, very good game tonight. Lars has not been as good as he is known to be as of late, so to see him play so well was quite rewarding. He didn’t get any points, but he looked great out there. Just for that, my dear boy, you can have extra pie tomorrow night. Yes, yes, I know how generous that is. But Thanksgiving is a time for not worrying about our muffin tops.

Christopher Sr. continued to be far too shy to actually score a goal with me watching. Bless his heart.

At one point both of my Christophers were on the ice. It was so nice to have all my beloveds in one place.

The Caps played a great game and deserved the win. Pats on the backs for you, Capitals.

The Sabres, on the other hand, make me think that they will never ever play a decent hockey game ever again. How long has it been since they won? Three weeks? Four weeks? Good grief, they looked awful tonight. THEY DO NOT SHOOT THE PUCK. How many times do I have to tell them? SHOOT THE GOSH DARN PUCK, YOU ANTI-PUCK SHOOTERS!

Ryan Miller is keeping this team alive right now. He had absolutely NO support on the Fehr goal. Guys, one of these days he’s going to get hurt again or burn out or have a nervous breakdown, and then what are you going to do? How will you even make it on to the ice if he’s not there to bail you out every two seconds?

The power play sucks so bad I’m not even going to say anything else about it.

Except this: OMG Craigory when you have a five minute power play taking a penalty is so not cool.

(On the flip side, it was totally B.A. how the Caps killed off almost a five minute power play.)

Timmy K’s dad is a cutie-pie.

Ok, so, I guess it’s time to get to that hit. Here’s the dealio, guys: Alex hit Patty K. Yes, he did. Patrick’s head definitely got hit, but he kinda sorta saw him coming. And I don’t think it was a vicious head-hunting hit. The ejection was probably more deserved than not, but I’d be kind of surprised to see a suspension. And not just because of who he is.

Alex also always scores pretty goals against Buffalo. Buffalo seems to bring out both the best and the worst in him.

Andrew Peters tried to kill someone tonight, apparently. Petey, Petey, Petey. New Jersey has changed you. I miss the cute, cuddly body guard you used to be.

Vanek must still be hurt. He’s got to be. It’s the only explanation for why he’s been so bad lately. Oh, Thomas. Just get your booboos fixed so you can return to being an awesome goal scorer.

The anthem singer tonight looked like a mini Mike Grier. It was rather adorable.

Henrik Tallinder was on the ice for Alex’s goal. I totally called that.

Finally, before I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving and thank you all for reading, I’d like to pass judgment on Alex’s new haircut. Well done, Mr. Ovechkin. Usually your haircuts are pretty tragic, but this one looks great. It’s not too short, but you’ve taken care of that sloppy mess on your head. I love it.

But please, sweetheart, next time refrain from picking your nose while the camera’s on you.

**This one again will be notes during the game because it is the night before thanksgiving and I’m not going to have the time or memory after the game.**

I now know where Timmy Kennedy gets his awful interview skills from… his father. Like father, like son.

God I love Miller’s little spin he does before he gets off the ice. I don’t know why, but its awesome. Maybe I’m a sucker for superstitious  things.

2nd period..  much better than the first. There’s not a whole lot you can do on Ovechkin’s goal besides flattening him. He’s just so good.

It is RIDICULOUS how many chances the Sabres have had..

Seriously, if Miller wasn’t in the game this would be a blowout…

Ovechkin..  EJECTED!! for a boarding penalty on Kaleta.  The fans are cheering “refs, you suck!”  Perhaps they are blind as a bat and didn’t see the hit or the replay?? Come on….

Things they need to work on:

*not taking a penalty in the middle of a major (or any power play for that matter)

*SCORING ON THE EFFING POWER PLAY FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST

Okay. This is getting hard to watch.   Commence drinking.

2-0.  Now drinking Jack.

I officially want this to turn into a slugfest. And I’m not talking about the front of Buffalo’s jerseys.

I wonder if the Sabres remember how to score… 4 mins left in the 3rd.

Why is the Carruba Collision of the game Kaleta colliding with the boards?? Shouldn’t it be with another player? Just sayin..

God Varly.. GIVE ONE UP.

Thank god I’m getting drunk tonight.  4 in a row Sabres…  not good. Better be getting it out of the way now instead of in March.

Oh Philly next? FFFFFFFFFML :/

Tonight the Sabres are playing the Caps in Washington. I’m very excited. I love when these two teams play each other. It’s always wonderful.

Usually there’s a clear cut better team when they play each other. It used to be the Sabres, then the Caps took control. It’s tough to say who will win tonight. Both of them have been playing like crap lately, so it will probably end up coming down to who sucks less. Which could actually be entertaining.

I hope Alex starts a tradition of scoring hat tricks the night before Thanksgiving. Last year’s was pretty awesome.

I hope the Sabres don’t totally embarrass themselves.

I hope Henrik Tallinder doesn’t get any ice time when Alex is out there, because we all know how that ends.

I hope Mike Green doesn’t get any ice time, ever again. Because that would be the best for everyone involved.

Maillot normal

• Vanek #26

• Roy #9

• Lydman #5

3ème maillot

• Roy #9

• Miller #30

• Lydman #5

• Vanek#26

Dear  Sabres,

This is not what I want to hear:

“It takes us a little while to get the brains turned on, and it’s not good enough,” Sabres forward Adam Mair said. “We need to find an answer for it, and fast.”

I think he just called you guys stupid.  I think I agree.

Dear Eric Wood,

Oh.  Wow. I am really sorry about your leg.  They say it’ll probably be season-ending (and that’s good news), so the Bills will really miss you.  Along with Byrd, you were far and away our most successful drafts this year.  Let’s face it though – the Bills are probably effed with or without you, so don’t rush your recovery.   Take care of yourself, kid, and I really hope they’re giving you the good drugs.

Dear Blackhawks,

I only watched the first period of your game last night before I got an attack of the sleepies and went to bed.  I’m not going to say you put me to sleep, but with only 6 shots on goal, I’m not going to say you didn’t, either.  Anyway, good job keeping the streak alive, and congrats to Antti for a shutout & Bryan for his first goal in two years!  (Wait.  Bryan, two years??? Good grief.)

Dear Patrick Sharp,

We need to have a talk.

Am I in trouble?

Hell yes.

Unless you are oblivious, you know that Kane, Keith, and Toews are wrapping up their contract extensions.  You also know that the Blackhawks’ math is going to hit a wall (or a cap ceiling.)  Someone’s got to get traded, and rumor has it that it could be you.  This terrifies me.

First, let’s dispose with those Toronto rumors. Nothing would be more depressing than you becoming a Dead Thing.  The Leafs are a swirling toilet of  suck, drowning out even the most valiant efforts of individual players (just ask Lee Stempniak).  I can’t bear the thought of your sad, sad face spoiling what should be unadulterated glee as the Sabres crush the Leafs six times a year (knock on wood.)  No, if anyone is going to the Leafs, it has to be someone absurdly young, so he still has a hope of grabbing Luke Schenn’s hand and escaping that black hole together.  I volunteer Andrew Ladd.

Besides, Sharpie, you look better in red.

But maybe there’s nothing to the Toronto noise.  Somebody’s still going somewhere.  Do you have a plan?  Right now, it looks like it might be “Make myself so invisible Stan Bowman forgets I exist.”  That’s the best explanation I can come up with for your one shot on goal in the last two games.  Before that, you’d been firing away like a champ.  This is not the time to try to get your shooting percentage up.  This is the time to make yourself absolutely indispensible.  Please don’t give them a reason to send you somewhere horrible, like New York or Anaheim or Ottawa (please, hockey gods, for the love of Lindy Ruff, not Ottawa) or Carolina or Philadelphia (again).  Though, if anyone could pull off a Flyers’ jersey, it was you and your Irishy good looks.  I’ll never be able to cheer for those teams.  But you might be too handsome for me to cheer against.  This is an untenable situation.

I think I might need you with the Blackhawks to like them.  They’re young and stupid, but they’re charmingly young and stupid.  Soupy is one of the mature guys.  How hilarious is that?  (Really, really hilarious.)  But their Peter Pan allure needs to be tempered by your sly “I’m kinda a grown-up”  charisma.  (Duncan Keith is in a similar position.  But we’re talking about you.)  Otherwise the team is just a bunch of pantsless kindergartners running around John Madden’s ankles.

I think I might need you with the Blackhawks to like you. I’m almost positive you are fully aware of how pretty you are.  You’re a leader on the Blackhawks, because the rest of them are twelve.  On a more serious team, like the Red Wings or the Bruins, you’d probably be a twit.  An annoying twit.  On another team, I might find your antics obnoxiously fratty.  With Chicago, they’re just Blackhawk-y.  If you were still a Flyer, I’d probably hate you.  Sorry.

I hope you take this advice to heart.  Have a good circus trip.  I’ll be spending it in a state of gut-churning apprehension.

Fondly,

Me

p.s.  Remember that one year when you scored SEVEN shorthanded goals?  That was foxy.

Dear NHL Leader Board,

Ugh. Zero Crunchies and I have to look at Dany Heatley?

Sunday Night Update:  Woohoo!!  We got a Crunchy back!  Thanks, Thrashers!

Dear Jarome Iginla,

How do you feel about your chances of scoring another hat trick tomorrow night? I don’t want to look at Heatley, but I don’t want to look at Ovechkin or a Ranger’s jersey. That sounds doable, right?

Dear Blackhawks,

Who’s got a foxy little streak going now? This road trip has been a delight thus far. The downside is these games finish so late that I’m too sleepy to blog by the time they’re over, and when I’ve had two-Sabres-made-me-do-it cocktails beforehand, I can’t remember all the stuff I meant to tell you. Um. I thought the Edmonton fans (and bench) might riot over that no goal at the end of the first. Pat Quinn is a world class gum-chomper. (At least, I’m hoping it was gum. If not, eww.) Coach Q has a fine mustache. The Oilers’ uniforms look way, way too much like the Islanders’. Why would anyone want to emulate the Islanders? Jonathan Toews had a spectacular game and remains one of the most adorable things on skates. I want him over for cookies and milk and then I’ll read him Harry Potter. I have no recollection of the last ten minutes of that game. Hmm.

My only complaint (other than the late-night games) is that I’m already bored of your road jerseys. I confess, I have a weakness for a foxy red hockey sweater. I’m pretty sure it’s the main reason I kinda like the Habs.

Dear Senators,

Your jerseys are so stupid – even stupider than the Avs, Bolts, and Thrashers. I hate them so much. Screw you.

Dear Bills,

You guys are.. doing well? Fitzpat has thrown for nearly 300 yards (and counting)? You appear to be winning? My brains hurt. Of course, it took me FIVE DAYS to figure out how to make my categories show up in their hierarchical organizations, so let’s assume it’s me, not you. Nice debut, Perry F!

Dear Rob Ray,

At first I was puzzled as to why Paul Gaustad’s faceoff stats had jumped off a cliff, then I watched the mini-clinic you two did, in which you had the audacity to win a draw. Clearly, this humiliation Zambonied every ounce of Goose’s self-confidence and he can’t help but second-guess every draw. Furthermore, there is a direct correlation between Goose’s faceoffs and the Sabres’ success. (Graphical proof forthcoming when I feel like it.)

Rob Ray, this is ALL YOUR FAULT. I hope you’re happy.

Dear Lindy Ruff,

If you want to continue positively reinforcing the boys then fine. But frankly, I think we’ll see better results if you play bad cop-bad cop with me.

Dear Sabres,

Go to your room. We’ll talk Wednesday.

As usual in these situations, I’m going to cut to the completely unjustifiable chase.  We’re not getting the All-Star Game in 2012.  Kansas City is getting it.  I’ll give you a moment to recover from the shock before I continue, because believe me, this was one seriously twisted shock.  Okay.  Apparently, Kauffman Stadium recently completed major renovations.  How nice for Kauffman Stadium.  It’s brand-new, nice and clean, and very fan-friendly.  Congratulations, Kansas City; now Kauffman Stadium is just like every other ballpark that completes major renovations.

Just to review, the reason why we wanted the All-Star Game in 2012 is because Fenway Park will turn one hundred years old.  The oldest ballpark still in use in the United States of America will commemorate a century of baseball.  America’s Most Beloved Ballpark will celebrate its one hundredth birthday.  Think about what Fenway Park has seen in that time.  It’s seen the Royal Rooters, Tris Speaker, Duffy’s Cliff.  It’s seen Joe Cronin, Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski.  It’s seen Nomar Garciaparra, David Ortiz, 2004, and 2007.  It’s seen a team of royalty followed by a team that committed cruel and unusual losses year after year after year, followed by royalty’s return.  If there is a structure in this country that embodies the history of the game of baseball within its very foundation, it’s Fenway Park.

And Fenway Park was denied.  Why? I have no idea.  What, they can give it to New York because it’s the last year of Yankee Stadium but they can’t recognize that America’s Most Beloved, and oldest, Ballpark will turn a century old? I mean, okay, so Kansas City hasn’t had the All-Star game in forty years and Fenway last had it thirteen years ago, in 1999 when none other than the Splendid Splinter threw out the first pitch.  But Fenway only turns one hundred years old once in a lifetime.  Kansas City could’ve gotten it in 2013.  In fact, it would’ve been okay by me if Kansas City had it every year for another forty years if only we could have it this one time.  Something just doesn’t seem right here.  I think I speak for all of Red Sox Nation when I say that we are extremely and profoundly disappointed and extremely and profoundly confused.

Zack Greinke won the AL Cy Young.  I’ll be very interested to see how he pitches next year.  I don’t think he’ll be as effective.  But I do think Josh Beckett is in line to have a break-out season so dominant that not even CC Sabathia can squeeze past him in the Cy Young voting.  Tim Lincecum won it for the NL, becoming its first repeat winner since Randy Johnson.  Andrew Bailey of Oakland and Chris Coghlan of Florida were the Rookies of the Year.  Mike Scoscia and Jim Tracy of Colorado were the Managers of the Year.  I don’t think I would’ve picked Mike Scoscia.  In my mind, there were three managers this year who faced significant uphill battles and who powered through them: Terry Francona, and then Ron Gardenhire and Ron Washington.  Terry Francona managed us through a lack of shortstop, the entry of a new starting catcher, a decline in the playing time of the team’s captain, a very public steroid scandal, and the worst slump in the career of the figure at the heard of said steroid scandal.  True, every manager deals with things behind closed doors, but what makes Tito’s job so difficult is that those doors are never closed completely.  It’s the nature of sports in Boston.  Gardenhire took the Twins from zero to one-game-playoff winners without Joe Mauer in the first month of the season, Justin Morneau in the last month, or a particularly effective bullpen.  And Washington almost made it to the playoffs this year without big-name talent.  All I’m saying is that, if the award goes to a Manager of the Year within the Angels organization, it should have gone to Torii Hunter, not Scoscia.  He was the real force in that clubhouse.  MVPs will be announced tomorrow.

Again, not much in the way of business yet.  Jason Bay rejected a four-year, sixty-million-dollar offer in favor of testing the free agent market for the first time in his career.  He’s Theo’s priority, though, and I still say he’ll end up back in Boston.  The Cards have already stated that they’re not interested, preferring Matt Holliday instead.  But I think this has the potential to be one of those long, drawn-out negotiations.  By the way, let’s not forget that Jermaine Dye is also a free agent.

We released George Kottaras, who has been claimed by the Brewers.  PawSox manager Ron Johnson will be our new bench coach.  We’re reportedly interested in Adrian Beltre, and we claimed reliever Robert Manuel off waivers.  Before the offseason is done, we’ll probably re-sign Alex Gonzalez and add a low-risk, high-potential starter.  Remember: in an economy like this, you do not need to, nor should you, empty your pockets to win a World Series, no matter what the Evil Empire might assume is the best practice.

Congratulations to John Henry on winning the Woodrow Wilson Award for Corporate Citizenship.  Again, corporate social responsibility in this day and age is the way to go.  Unfortunately, though, ticket prices are up this year.  About half the seats were increased by two dollars, including the infield grandstand, right field boxes, and lower bleachers.  The field and loge boxes and Green Monster seats and standing room were increased by five dollars.  The outfield grandstand and upper bleachers weren’t increased.  Whenever you hear about price increases or decreases for tickets at Fenway, remember to always take them with a grain of salt.  Obviously we’d prefer a price freeze, but how many of us really purchase our Fenway tickets at face value anyway? I’m just saying.

So, as per usual this early in the offseason, we have more wait-and-seeing ahead.  Theo never reveals the tricks he has up his sleeve, so that’s really all we can do.

The Bruins suffered a particularly painful loss to the Islanders, 4-1.  I’d rather not talk about it.  We did best Atlanta in a shootout, though, and we eked out a win against the Sabres in sudden death.  That last one was particularly heartening, being that the Sabres are first in the division.  For now.  We’re only two points behind.  And now for the grand finale, let’s discuss Bill Belichick’s oh-so-positive judgment call on Sunday.  In the fourth quarter with a six-point lead, the Pats had the ball on their 28.  Tom Brady’s pass was incomplete.  With two minutes and eight seconds left on the clock, Belichick decided to go for it.  But Kevin Faulk fumbled the ball, and suddenly it was fourth and two.  Needless to say, we lost, 35-34, to the Colts, who are still undefeated.  I mean, it’s a tough call.  Belichick made the same decision against Atlanta and we won.  Then again, we had the lead, we had the time, and we had an opponent that wasn’t Indianapolis.  It was just bad.  It was just really, really bad.

Sawxblog/Derek Hixon

Games against Ottawa always end badly.  It does not matter who’s in net for the Sabres.  It doesn’t matter what kind of streak both of the teams are on.  When the Sabres meet the Senators, things get ugly.

When Patrick Lalime is in net, it’s just worse.

I can’t remember which goal it was (they all started to blur together), but there was NO ONE screening Lala and he let the puck fly on in over his glove.  It was awful.  It was terrible.  I’m probably going to wake up in a cold sweat at three in the morning because of it.  Oh, Lala.  I love you, I do.  I just wish you didn’t suck.  Sometimes it’s not you.  There are rare occasions when it’s the asshats in front of you.  But sometimes it is you, and that makes me sad.

I switched over to the Caps game because the Sabres were making me angry.  When I checked back a few minutes later, it was 5-3.  ??  I guess I missed a Pommer goal.  That’s a bummer.  I do love when Papa Jason scores.

I hate Ottawa.

The Capitals also played tonight, against the Leafs.  Alex scored first and everyone was happy in the land, then they all forgot to play the rest of the game except Varly.  He kept them alive and he’s the only reason they made it to the shootout.

Why does Bruce put Fehr out in shootouts?  It’s painfully obvious he’s got some sort of shootout jinx.

The Caps play Monday night, but the Sabres don’t play again until Wednesday, when they play…………the CAPITALS!!!  WOOO!!!  I’m so excited, I’m almost forgetting about how mad I am at them.

But I’m still mad.  5-3 to Ottawa is bad stuff, guys.  Pull it together before Wednesday night.

Dear Sabres,

You are all professional hockey players, so I think I can safely assume you’ve all seen the movie Miracle about a thousand times.  Remember that scene when Herb “Kurt Russell” Brooks pops his reel of team USSR footage into the overhead projector?  Scary Jaws music plays while Coach yaps about “constantly circling” bloodthirsty sharks Commie forwards and the boys’ faces fall from giggly awe to ‘we’re dead’ terror.  I get the impression that you guys feel the same way about the Ottawa Senators (and um, I do too).  What I don’t understand is – why?

Like the Russians, the Senators’ main weapon is intimidation (at least when they play the Sabres.)  Unlike the Russians, they don’t know they’re going to win because they often lose – except to Buffalo.  Ottawa was craptacular last year – and they were without the very mean and scary Ray Emery – but did you win even one game to them?  Certainly not when I was watching.  I think this must be a self-esteem issue.

In the spirit of new Lindy Ruff, I am not going to freak out at you over last night.  Let’s focus on the good:

1. It was better than the last time you played the Bruins.

2. You got one point.

3. Even though you had a terrible second period, you came back stronger in the third (and didn’t let the Bruins score 5 more goals on you).  This is an important step forward.

4. Crunchy did pretty well.

5. Goose got a goal.

6. Tyler Myers was very helpful to Crunchy and didn’t make any of those ‘rookie mistakes’ we’ve seen in some of the other loses.

7. Vanek had a bunch of good chances.

8. You remembered that “hitting is everyone’s job.” (TM Goose)

There was some bad stuff too, you know about it better than I do and we’ll leave it at that.  You guys are better than the Senators – now show them that you know it!  As Hurt Brussell would tell you – Attack them!  (I do think you should also play defense though.  Especially if Lalime is in net tonight.  Seriously guys, it’s really mean the way you poop out in front of him and let him get the brunt of the blame.  He’s not Crunchy, but he’s your goalie too, and he’s very nice.)

So have fun with your Dads, do them proud, and attack! attack! attack!

(And yes, guys, I’m scared too.)

Dear Staffy,

I heard your ‘lower body injury’ is a bone bruise and you will be sitting out Hottawa.  Ouch.  AlsopleasetwittermoreIadoreit.

Dear Pommerdoodle,

I’m glad to see you’ve recovered (or at least recovered enough) from that Chara shot you took to the leg.  What a jerk, right?

Dear Andrej Sekera/Steve Montador,

Word on the street (that is, TBN) is one of you will be playing forward tonight.  That sounds like it could be fun.

p.s. to the Sabres – my endless love to whomever takes down Chris Neil tonight.  (Granted,  my money would be on Goose, which is why I feel comfortable making this offer.)

p.p.s.  And at least the Flyers lost-lost last night.  I feel so much better now that we don’t have the same record as Philadelphia.

I took running friend Karyn to the Boston game last night (Worlds colliding!). She had not been to a Sabres game in years, and I can assure you that she and her bad mojo are not coming to one with me again anytime soon. But it was fun, at least initially, to share the Jessica game experience with someone new. As we walked past the ticket scalpers outside the Arena, one with a “Need Tickets” sign and the other a little further away yelling, “I’ve got TICKETS!”  Karyn observed, “Someone should get those two together. Need Tickets, meet Has Tickets.”

During the first intermission, my new usher Rich and I agreed that the Sabres had played well in the first period, which was especially heartening after their poor showing against Florida on Wednesday. Rich is a new character this season  in Jessica-ville, and he has a pretty big red jacket to fill. My former usher Dave, who moved on to greener security pastures, was super nice and VERY easy on the eyes. His only flaw was that he was a real stickler about not letting me go past him to my seats until a stoppage in play, no matter how charming I was. Wait for the whistle my ass. I have high hopes for Rich. He seems eminently charm-able. I will keep you all posted (and hope that Rich is not a big blog reader).

I was one drink away from reaching out, kitten-like, and batting at these tassels.

Then came the second period. BORING. The Sabres were outshot 14-3, and (except for Ryan Miller) they suddenly and inexplicably didn’t seem all that interested in this game. Their nonchalance permeated the Arena like a fog, enveloping players and fans alike. It was an odd night too because many of my season ticket peeps were not in their usual seats (“amateur night” my dad calls them).  The woman in front of me, who was a stranger, wore a Sabres winter hat with not one but TWO dangling tassels, and lulled by the Sabres uninspired play, I found myself watching them bob tantalizingly in front of me like a cat drawn to a string.

The Sabres effort in the third period was much better, though by late in the period it became  clear that the Bruins would be perfectly happy to get at least a point by letting the game go to overtime.  I helpfully explained their trapping ways to Karyn, showing her four Bruins lined up in the neutral zone ready to thwart the Sabres offensively. She was understandably riveted.  I assured her that defense is a LOT sexier when your team is the one that is playing it.

Still, I was optimistic about our chances in OT or the shootout, but 47 seconds later it was over, as Boston scored to win the game in OT a deflection that left Ryan Miller and I equally disgusted. We all shuffled out of the Arena bereft of Gilbert Perrault’s victory serenade for the second straight game. Karyn and I decided two things instantly: 1.) We would find a way to salvage the night and ease the pain of losing 2.) Whatever we chose to cheer us up would likely translate into a VBR the next morning.

Both of my teams lost. To the Bruins and the Canadiens.

Neither of them showed up in the second period. For the Caps, it was too little, too late. For the Sabres, they need to SHOOT THE EFFING PUCK.

Time to watch the season finale of “Project Runway.” I really hope Irina doesn’t win.

Hey kids, short preview tonight due to the fact that I am doing some traveling and don’t really have time (plus it’s Friday and it’s just one of those days). So, um, here we go:

This evening the Boston Bruins (9-8-4) travel to Buffalo to go head to head with the Sabres (12-5-1).

Boston is fresh off of a 4-3 win last night over the Atlanta Thrashers. Michael Ryder potted 2 goals for his fifth and sixth goals of the season. Marco Sturm also scored early in the game. Boston won in the shootout with Patrice Bergeron getting the only goal. Watch for Boston to carry momentum into tonights game.

The Sabres, however, are a completely different story. Buffalo stayed in it the entire game but it got a little rough towards the end. Like really rough. Like 4 Panther’s goals in the 3rd period rough. Three of them were unanswered. It was disgusting. Three goals in two minutes by Florida is just unnacceptable. I can understand an empty netter but having Dominic Moore score that final goal (it was his first of the year, by the way) is just not right. IT WAS FLORIDA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Lindy probably isn’t too ecstatic about this loss and no doubt the Sabres got chewed out (even if “new Lindy” is softer)

This should be a grind as it always is between these two teams. Boston will try to pepper the net, Buffalo will try to stay physical. Blah blah blah, we know the story. It should also be a goalie duel between Timmy Thomas and the man, the myth, the Miller, Ryan Miller. We’ll see, Boston had Buffalo’s number last time but this young team likes to seek revenge.

Goalies are Ryan Miller and Tim Thomas. This is possible foreshadowing of the two top team USA goalie prospects, so watch out for these two to be on top of their games.

Game is at 7:30 and is on MSG.

See you tomorrow for a real game preview of tomorrow night’s game.

Go Sabres!

Dear Blackhawks,

Well, that was fun. Thanks, guys.

Dear Everyone else,

That was the opposite of what I asked for.  No thanks, guys.

Aside to the Penguins,

Yikes.

Dear Ryan Miller,

Please, tell us what you really think.

“They just played boring until they got a lead and then they played more boring,” Miller said. “You have to be willing to get it deep and just be boring yourself. It was one of those nights where everything we seem to do kind of went against us.”

Dear Toni Lydman/Andrej Sekera,

Please see Wednesday’s letters.  (Hey, it wasn’t my fault.  I can only respond to what I’ve been told.  Hmmph.)

Dear Sabres,

Please don’t let this be like last time.  That was not so fun.  Good Luck!

I’ll be listening,

Me

Last Friday Mike Harrington did not list us on his follow Friday for Sabres blogs.  At first, my feelings were hurt.  Then I realized I haven’t  made a Sabres post in like 9 months.  Consider this me making an effort to get back in Mike’s good graces.  From his colleague at the Buffalo News, Bucky Gleason.

11:36

[Comment From ProppyProppy: ] Sabres look good this year. How deep do you think they can go? Thursday November 19, 2009 11:36 Proppy

11:38

First, they need to make the playoffs. People will laugh at that comment because they’re off to such a great start. They should get into the postseason, but it’s not guaranteed in November. How far they go will depend on the usual stuff — goaltending, injuries and special teams. They have the potential to win a round, maybe two, but we’re not talking about a Cup contender here.

I just want to have this in writing now as The Buffalo News is not too keen on keeping archives.  Is he correct?  Probably but I want to reserve the right to hold that against him in April/May.

Dear Patrick Kane,

Happy 21st, kiddo!  Please stay out of trouble.  Congrats on your contract extension (and Toews and Keith too).  Please know that if your price tag precipitates a Sharp trade, I will never, ever, ever, ever forgive you.  Have a great game in Calgary!

Dear Lindy Ruff,

Your post-practice interview was… unexpected.  At first I was very indignant in a “WHAT!?! Stop being so understanding.  The Sabres obviously suffer from high self-esteem.  Eff the little buggers.  I WANT MORE YELLING!!!!”  Then I came down from the rage attacks/crying jags induced by my ex being a jackass of epic proportions.

Lindy, you’re doing something remarkable as a coach and as a human being.  You looked at your body of work, you looked at your people, you looked at the numbers, and you looked at yourself.  Then you said, “Maybe there have been things I should have done differently.  Maybe there are some things I should try to change.”  Then you did your homework, made a plan, and came out swinging.  And you stuck to it, even when it got hard.  I admit, I thought that thing with the parenting book was hilarious and I still do.  When I told a coworker about it I couldn’t get through the story without collapsing into hysterical giggles (and I HADN’T been drinking.)  But you didn’t care about what people would think.  You came right out in public, you told us what you were going to do, and you did it.  Lindy Ruff, you are an inspiration.

Dear Blackhawks,

I couldn’t watch the Sabres yesterday because I was working, and I can’t watch them tomorrow because I’ll be working.  I cried at work four times today and I have a rage hangover.  Please win.  If you don’t want to do it for me, do it for you.

Dear Patrick Sharp,

Please score tonight.  Also, please have a lengthy post-game interview in which you’re all sweaty and smirky.

Dear Devils,

You guys are adorable.  Please win.

Dear Bruins,

Please have an exhausting and demoralizing game.  If I had to, I’d say ‘please lose,’ but I barely care one way or the other.

Dear Hurricanes,

Please lose, because it delights me.  Also, it is hilarious.

Dear Ducks & Senators,

Please lose, because I hate it when the bad guys win.

Dear everyone else,

I am completely indifferent to the outcome of your games.  Sorry, I guess.

Something about game night, when you and it all is about to play out in front of you. You can feel the anticipation, you have a great seat, thanks to Clarence Grad 72. Six rows off the ice behind the visitors bench is a great place to see a game, but when the home team is having a monday, it’s the images you take with you. Enjoy the pictures, forget the outcome:

Dear Sabres,

What the fuck was that????  Why didn’t you listen to me?  Are you all hungover?  Kaletters – I thought you’d grown up.  Oh my God.  I hate you guys.  My only consolation right now is thinking about how much Lindy’s going to yell at you tomorrow.

This wouldn’t have happened if they’d played Toni LIKE THEY SAID HE WOULD EARLIER TODAY (probably)

Argh!!

Me

Dear Mike Grier’s Groin,

Please get better NOW.  They need him out there.