‘Woke up this morning at the time my mind thought prudent and it’s taken me a while to get chugging…..

Then I saw and listened to this:

and I awoke, bathed in sonic reverberations. Things got better with the completion of a mini-project, a terrific dump, and now a sumptuous brunch honoured with Frank’s Hot Sauce.

Sidebar note:
I recorded about 15 minutes of the Metallica show on my Flip video thing but have yet to download it as I first need to learn how to edit the footage. Too busy keeping the vermin count down to a manageable level in my personal shit hole.

Then, lo and behold, I spy a Judas Priest clip from their July 9th show here in T.O. (Toronto for you out-of-towners) which re-circuited part of my brain.

Ted Nugent
And last but not least, here’s Derek St. Holmes singing and Sir Ted Nugent’s playing this blog entry’s title song.

And here’s a drinking – pool playing number (that’s what my friends and I did in my parent’s basement) off their Double Live Gonzo album, the unforgettable ‘Wang Dang Poontang.”

Concert note:
One of the best shows i’ve been to was in 1979 at CNE Stadium on a blistering hot day in July which had Aerosmith headlining, Ted Nugent preceding them, Nazareth crankin’ just before), Johnny WInters putting on an amazing performance, The Ramones (who got booed off the stage by the metal crowd and had Joey scream “Fuck you Toronto.” My friend Angelo who’d made it to the front on the CNE Grandstand field said that when he looked back, the only person standing and jumping up and down was me. Oh yea, and Goddo opened.

Same deal when I saw the Diodes (one of T.O.’s original punk bands) 2 years ago at Dundas Square. I was dancing and moving around while sphinx’s and gawkers looked on like they were at a zoological convention.

I swear; Toronto has some of the lamest so-called punk fans in the galaxy. Mind you, most of them are posers now but, in general, they make me sick. Here they are from 1977 at the Crash n’Burn space. Note the rawness, the pure energy: I loved this band.

As you may notice, there is no slam dancing or brutality going on because punk was never about that. That shit began, in my opinion, when the slugs and dullards called ‘jocks’ and southern California fuckheads began acting out their low neuron count and hardcore, in general, gained some traction through shared frustrations. ‘Not sure of the order of things here but someone I once knew thought that violence accompanied punk shows….no. I always found punk shows to be pretty friendly, but wired, situations.

The Diodes self-titled 1st album was superbly written with titles like Death in the Suburbs, Blonde Fever, a remake of Cyrcle’s Red Rubber Ball, and We’re Ripped.

This album also qualifies as one of those stolen from me by some fuckhead called Gil who I shared a house with along with his ugly, skinny-as-a-rail (to the point of being gross) Olive Oil girlfriend back in early ‘97. They offered me, surrepticiously, a chance to share some sex with them but ah ….no thanks, I’ll pass: forever. Lucky for her because should I have impaled her, she would have had to been mechanically de-boned down at the canning factory.

Ok, holy fuck!, here’s the Diodes’ Child Star chune whose subject matter focused on the suicide of Miss Anissa Jones who played ‘Buffy’ (not the vampire slayer) in this sick-as-shit show called Family Affair which made TV viewers cringe from 1966 to 71′. Imagine: people actually watched this goody-two-shoe “show.” I fucking hated it! I was living in a snake pit and TV was showcasing these 2 square kids that were on par with Ned Flander’s kids and some overstuffed butler (Sebastian Cabot) who wore a suit despite getting smeared in fresh baby shit when his two charges were infants. Oh sure, buddy, when the kid’s asshole squirts a fresh load, go and change into your evening wear.

Enough I say!!!!

Do it before the next Twilight movie is made. I beg of you…

Sincerely,

The True Vampire Fans

Siempre he pensado que cada vez que instalamos un programa en el ordenador los tipos de Microsoft pueden estar comprometiéndonos a cederles una parte de nuestro plan de pensiones, las acciones de nuestra empresa o un pedacito de nuestras almas. La verdad es que nadie lee los contratos que se establecen con nosotros, así que le damos a la tecla de “Aceptar” y no sopesamos la idea de que un día Bill Gates llame a nuestra puerta armado con una neverita portátil, pinzas para el hielo y un completo Kit de cirugía portátil.

Hay tanto material en Cds, Dvds, Blu-rays, y demás medios de soporte que rara vez le prestamos atención a la mitad de sus características y vamos a lo directo, a la película en sí, los extras “gordos” que ocupan el segundo disco o las opciones más básicas. Sin embargo desde hace tiempo los cineastas son tipos “cachondos” que introducen pequeños secretos en los menús, videos, imágenes y curiosidades que hacen las delicidas de todos los frikis fans que transpiran como Bella Swan después de compartir autobús con Edward Cullen al descubrir un contendido desbloqueable.

Aquí tenéis unos cuantos.

FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRITS WITHIN.

La aclamada (y dilatada) franquicia de videojuegos ha tenido hasta el momento dos adaptaciones en películas de animación. La primera supuso un hostión de los gordos duro golpe para los productores ya que fue un fracaso en taquilla, por mucho que innovasen en las técnicas de captura de movimientos y su énfasis por demostrarnos que el pelo de la protagonista parecía sacado de un anuncio de L’oréal.  Dejando al margen sus logros y fracasos, podemos dar con uno de los primeros extras ocultos (conocidos como Huevos de Pascua) que encontré por casualidad. Creo que sólo está disponible en la edición dos discos, visible desde el menú principal pero situado en una esquina.

STAR WARS.

George Lucas es conocido por repetir una y otra vez aquello que le hizo famoso en su momento. Antes de crear la saga de los caballeros Jedi (considerada como religión “válida” en Australia y Gran Bretaña) este director hizo una película de ciencia ficción titulada ‘THX 1138′. Las referencias a esta filmación son muy fáciles de encontrar, no sólo porque el número aparece dibujado o mencionado en distintas ocasiones, o porque el THX sea ese sistema de sonido que nos destroza los oídos en las salas de cine. En esta ocasión, para encontrar el huevo de pascua tienes que acceder al menu de AUDIO y pulsar con el mando ‘11′…’3′…’8′. Si esperas unos segundos cargará un corto video. En los DVDS de los episodios 1 y 2 son tomas falsas…

Pero como eso es demasiado simple, siempre están los animadores para solucionarlo.

Sí, de acuerdo, después de verle pelear como un saltamones cabreado en ‘El ataque de los Clones’ yo también me pregunté para qué narices necesitaba el bastón.

EL SEÑOR DE LOS ANILLOS.

La verdad es que este contenido no sé dónde se encuentra, pero existe en la edición para coleccionistas de ‘La comunidad del anillo’. La MTV tiene por costumbre hacer parodias o montajes de películas y todo lo que pille, y, prácticamente sin alterar nada, son capaces de cambiar el sentido de una de las escenas más famosas y memorables tanto de la novela de Tolkien como de la película de Peter Jackson que, por cierto, presenta el video.

Como dato anecdótico, cuenta con la participación de Jack Black y Sarah Michelle Gellard (¡Grrrrrr!)

Hay muchísimos más. Tanto en videojuegos como en películas. la dificultad (y gracia) de este juego reside en encontrarlos. Hay algunos que son puro divertimento como los que os he mostrado y otros que tienen algún tipo de significado más trascendente, como los anuncios existentes en el videojuego de espionaje e infiltración Splinter Cell sobre la posibilidad de unirse al servicio secreto británico.

Sin importar su propósito final, los huevos de pascua alargan las posibilidades de un producto y enganchan a la gente para descubrir sus contenidos ocultos, inspirándose en la complicidad con el público y quizá, como retazos de la publicidad viral. Pero esa es otra historia y será contada en otra ocasión…

ipanonima

Gender: Feminine
Origin: Hebrew
Meaning: “God is my oath; God is abundance.”

The name is a transliterated form of the Biblical Greek Ελισβετ (Elisabet), which is a Hellenized version of the Biblical Hebrew feminine name, אֱלִישֶׁבַע‎ (Elisheva).

Elizabeth appears twice in the Bible, once in the Old Testament as the name of Aaron’s wife and once in the New Testament as the wife of Zachariah and the mother of John the Baptist.

Elizabeth has remained fairly consistent in the U.S top 100 for over a hundred years. She currently ranks in at # 9 and the lowest she has ever come in the U.S. charts was in 1945 at # 26.

In Australia she is the 37th most popular female name (2007), in Canada, she ranks in at # 20 (2008), in England/Wales she came in at # 40 (2008), in Ireland at # 63 (2007) and in Scotland at # 68 (2008).

The name was borne by several saints and European royalty. Among the most notable bearers were, St. Elizabeth of Hungary, a 12th-century Hungarian princess who was known for her acts of kindness and charity toward the poor and Queen Elizabeth I of England, including the current reigning Queen, Elizabeth II.

The name Isabel/Isabella are relatives, but have becomes so far apart from its original source, that they often occur concurrently in many European countries with Elizabeth, hence is why I shall devote a different post to Isabel/Isabella, but I shall cite her several times in this article as a variation whenever needed.

I believe one of the reasons why Elizabeth has been a long time favorite, is because of her versatility. She can be shortened to a variety of different nicknames, especially in English. The most popular are: (I have cited the ones that have commonly been used as independent given name with a black club)

Bess, Bessie, Beth♣, Bets, Betsy, Bet, Bettie/Betty, Bezzy, Bit, Bitsy, Biz, Buffy, Elisa♣, Elise♣, Elle♣, Eliza♣, Ella♣, Ellie, Elsa♣, Elsie♣, Ibbie, Lib, Libby, Lilly, Lisa♣, Liz, Lizzie, Liza♣, Tetty, Tibby and Tizzy.

Other forms of the name include:

Latinate Forms
Forms found in Latinate/Romance languages

• Sabela (Asturian)
• Elisabèt, Lisabèt (Bearnais)
• Elisabet (Catalan)
• Babette (French: originally a diminutive form, used as independent given name, now considered extremely dated)
• Élisabeth (French)
• Élise (French)
• Lise (French)
• Lisette (French: originally a diminutive form but exclusively used as an independent given name)
• Bettina (Italian)
• Elisa (Italian/French/Portuguese: appears in Boccaccio’s Decameron as the name of one of the female story tellers).
• Elisabella (Italian: obscure)
• Elisabetta (Italian/Romansch)
• Elisa (Italian/Sardinian/Spanish)
• Elisanna/Elisena (Italian: obscure)
• Elisetta (Italian)
• Lelisa (Italian: obscure)
• Lisa (Italian/Spanish)
• Lisella (Italian: obscure)
• Lisena (Italian: obscure)
• Lisetta (Italian)
• Lisina/Lisinda (Italian: obscure)
• Lisanna (Italian)
• Elisabetha (Late Latin)
• Elizabetta (Liguru: a minor language spoken in Italy)
• Elisabeta/Elisèu/Eliso (Occitanian)
• Elisabete/Elisete/Elsa (Portuguese)
• Babèu/Eisabèu/ Lisabèu (Provencal: Babeu is a diminutive)
• Elisabeta (Romanian/Spanish)
• Lisabetta (Romansch/Corsican)
• Lisabbetta (Sicilian)
• Isabel/Ysabel (Spanish/Aragonese/Catalan/Galician/Portuguese)

Germanic Forms
Forms used in Germanic languages

• Elsabe (Afrikaans)
• Liesel (Alsatian)
• Elisabet (Danish/Faroese/Swedish/Norwegian)
• Elsebeth (Danish)
• Else (Danish)
• Lise (Danish/German)
• Lis (Danish/Norwegian/Swedish)
• Lisbet (Danish/Norwegian/Swedish)
• Lisbeth (Danish/German)
• Els (Dutch: a diminutive form, occasionally used as an independent give name)
• Elsa (Dutch/German/Swedish)
• Liesbeth/Lijsbeth (Dutch)
• Liesje (Dutch)
• Eliza (English: originally a diminutive, exclusively used as an independent given name)
• Elsba/Elsbet/Elsuba/Elusbet (Faroese)
• Elspa (Faroese)
• Lisabet/Lisbet (Faroese)
• Elsebe/Elsche/Eske/Telsa (Frisian)
• Bettina/Bettine (German: a borrowing from the Italian)
• Elisa (German: a borrowing from Romance languages)
• Elisabeth (German/Dutch)
• Elise (German/Danish/Dutch/English/Norwegian: a borrowing from the French)
• Elli (German: diminutive form, occasionally used as an independent given name)
• Elsbeth (German/Swiss-German dialectical form)
• Ilsa/Ilse (German/Dutch: initially a diminutive form, popularly bestowed as an independent given name, now considered dated. il-SEH)
• Lies/Liesa/Liese (German/Dutch)
• Liesel/Liesl (German: originally a diminutive form, used as an independent given name, now considered dated)
• Lilli (German: originally a diminutive form, used as an independent given name due to its association with the flower)
• Lisa/Lise (German/Dutch/English/Swedish/Danish/Norwegian)
• Sabeth (German: obscure)
• Aileisabaiþ (Gothic)
• Elísabet (Icelandic)
• Ellisif (Norwegian)
• Lieken, Lüke, Lücken (Plattdeutsch)
• Bettan (Swedish: originally a diminutive form, occasionally used as an independent given name, but now considered dated)
• Lisen (Swedish: originally a diminutive form, used as an independent given name)

German diminutive forms are Betti, Elis, Elli, Elschen, and Lieschen.

Slavic Forms
Forms used in Slavic speaking countries

• Elisaveta Елисавета (Bulgarian)
• Elizabeta (Croatian)
• Alžběta (Czech: alzh-BYEH-tah)
• Eliška (Czech: originally a diminutive form, used as an independent given. eh-LEESH-kah)
• Elisabeti Елїсабеть (Old Church Slavonic)
• Eliza (Polish: eh-LEE-zah)
• Elżbieta (Polish: elsh-BYEH-tah)
• Halszka (Polish: archaic. HAHLSH-kah)
• Halżbieta (Polish: archaic. halsh-BYEH-tah)
• Elizaveta/Yelizaveta Елизавета (Russian)
• Jelisaveta (Serbian)
• Alžbeta (Slovak)
• Ažbeta (Slovene)
• Betina (Slovene)
• Elica (Slovene: originally a diminutive form, used as an independent given name. eh-LEET-sah)
• Elisa/Elis (Slovene)
• Elizabeta/Elizabet (Slovene)
• Elza (Slovene)
• Jelisava (Slovene)
• Lizabeta (Slovene)
• Špela (Slovene: originally a diminutive form, exclusively used as an independent given name. SHPEH-lah)
• Hilža (Sorbian)
• Lisaveta/Yelysaveta (Ukrainian)

Czech diminutive forms are Běta, Bětka, Bětuška, Betynka, Bětuše, Betyna, and Líza. Slovakian diminutives include: Beta, Betka, Betuška, Betinka, Betuša and Betina. Polish diminutive forms are Bieta, Ela (the most prevalent), Elka, Elunia and Elżunia. Slovene diminutives are: Beta, Beti, Betika, Ela, Eli, Elzi, Špelca, Špelica, Špelka, Jelica, Lili, and Lizika.

Baltic Forms
Forms used in the Baltic States

• Eliisabet (Estonian)
• Elts (Estonian)
• Etti (Estonian)
• Ilze (Estonian)
• Liisa/Liisi/Liis (Estonian/Finnish)
• Liisu (Estonian)
• Eliisa (Finnish)
• Elizabete (Latvian)
• Līze/Lizina (Latvian)
• Elžbieta (Lithuanian)
• Eliissá/Liisá/Liissá (Saami)

Celtic Forms
Forms used in Celtic based languages

• Elesbed (Breton)
• Eilís (Irish: IE-leesh)
• Ealisaid (Manx: ALE-is-sed)
• Ealee (Manx)
• Ealish (Manx)
• Ealasaid (Scottish)
• Elspeth (Scottish)
• Bethan/Betsan (Welsh)

Other forms

• Elizabeta (Albanian)
• Ilizabith إليزابيث (Arabic)
• Il-Shvai ܐܠܝܫܒܥ \ܐܠܝܫܒܚ (Aramaic)
• Elsapet (Armenian)
• Yeghisapet (Armenian)
• Zabel (Armenian)
• Elixabete/Elixabet/Elizabete (Basque: former are pronounced eh-LEE-sheh-BEH-tah and eh-LEE-shah-Bet)
• Elixi (Basque: eh-LEE-shee)
• Elisheba (Biblical Hebrew)
• Eliso ელისო (Georgian)
• Lizi (Georgian)
• Elisavet Ελισαβετ(Greek: Modern)
• Zeta (Greek: Modern)
• Ilsipat (Greenlandic)
• Elikapeka (Hawaiian)
• Elisheva (Hebrew: see Hebrew script above)
• Lizzamma (Hindi/Indian)
• Erzsébet/Orzebet (Hungarian: ER-zhey-bet)
• Aley/Aleyamma/Aleykutty (Malayalam)
• Eli/Eliamma (Malayalam)
• Elizabetta (Maltese)
• Erihapeti (Maori)
• Elizabet (Turkish)

Hungarian nicknames includes Bözsi, Erzsi (ER-zhee), and Zsóka (ZHO-kaw).

Medieval Forms
Forms no longer in usage from Medieval Europe

• Ysabel/Ysabet (Catalan, Valencia, 16th-century)
• Elisaued (Cornwall, England, 10th-century)
• Elizabez (England, 13th-century)
• Lylie/Lilion (England, 13th-century, possibly nicknames)
• Elisota (England, 14th-century)
• Elseby (Finland)
• Isabelot (France, Paris, 13th-century)
• Yzabé (France, Bordeaux, 15th-century)
• Besina (14th-century Italy, Venice, possibly a diminutive form)
• Isabetta (Italy, Florence 15th-century)
• Bechte (Germany, 15th-century, most likely a diminutive form)
• Beth (Germany, 15th-century, diminutive form)
• Bettlin (Germany, 15th-century, probably a diminutive form)
• Bytzel (Germany, 15th-century, diminutive form)
• Els (Germany, 15th-century, diminutive form)
• Elsslein (Germany, late 15th-century)
• Elsslin (Germany, 15th-century, probably a diminutive form)
• Eltzabet (Germany, late 15th-century)
• Lyse (Germany, 15th-century, diminutive form)
• Elsebeth (Germany, 15th-century)
• Elzebeth (German, in Silesia, 14th-century)
• Nele/Neleke (German, in Silesia, 14th-century, most likely than not, diminutive forms)
• Elysant (Normandy, 1190)
• Helisent (Normandy, 1221)
• Isabellis (Normandy, 12th-century)
• Ysabels/Yzabels/Yzabela (Occitan, Saint Flour, 14th-century)
• Elitze (Sweden, 15th-century)
• Elsika/Elsiko/Elzeke (Sweden, 15th-century)
• Elsby/Elzeby (Sweden, 16th-century)
• Aleseta (Switzerland, Sion, 14th-century)

Name-days are: November 17 and November 19.

Cyber-Monday Super Sale!! 

Save 5%-20% Off Your Order!*

Take 5% off $25.00-$49.99, 10% off $50.00-$74.99, 15% off $75.00-$99.99 and 20% off $100.00 or more!* Monday, November 30th ONLY.

* $25.00/$50.00/$75.00/$100.00 minimum order is before shipping and/or taxes. Order must contain $25.00-$100.00 or more of product. Discount does not apply to trades. Discount will be automatically applied to your order once minimum amount has been reached. No coupon code required.

Sale is one day only – Monday, November 30th, 2009.

Thankful today for many things, with one exception: the big traditional family feast. That will be happening tomorrow. In our family, with our TCK/CCK heritage of missionaries and military, we focus on celebrating when and where we can. If that doesn’t exactly match the officially designated time/place/menu, we celebrate anyway. For us, this year, Thanksgiving day will be on Friday.

However, this has not stopped my father from watching football this evening!

And nothing can stop me from quoting from the only Thanksgiving-themed Buffy episode, “Pangs”:

GILES: Well, you know, you should be very pleased.
BUFFY: Wasn’t exactly a perfect Thanksgiving.
WILLOW: I don’t know. Seemed kinda right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight, and now we’re all sleepy. And we did all survive.
BUFFY: I guess that much is true. First thanksgiving on my own, and we all got through it.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 4.08 “Pangs”

I’m at a loss. Not only did I forget that this was one of my favorite Thanksgiving episode on TV–mainly because it’s one from one of my favorite shows–but I also went out of town without bringing this DVD set with me, so I can’t watch it on Thanksgiving Day!

It’s just wrong.

Anyway, I have to thank my Twitter friends for reminding me of this great episode. Buffy decides that her first year of college, she’d make Thanksgiving dinner for everyone. And how could it not go wrong?

Especially when spirits of the Chumash tribe are attacking. I mean, all can go well, right?

It sounds like a strange combination, but it really works. I mean, Willow starts out the episode complaining that Thanksgiving is all about the suffering of the Native Americans–and while that’s a true conflict (and issue), it’s kind of entertaining to discover after the fact how Willow kinda changes her tune after they try to kill her.

The funniest part of the episode is clearly Spike, who spends the episode tied to a chair, since the group doesn’t quite know whether to trust him yet or not. So quip after quip, he’s adding some comedic relief while the group is fighting for their lives (especially when, say, a certain spirit turns into a bear).

Other highlights:

• Xander contracts syphilis.  Yes, it sucks, but man is it funny. He always gets the bad stuff.
• Anya. Just Anya. That’s all.
• Angel’s back–and a secret. Well, for a while. I love that everyone is so hush-hush about his being there…well, until it slips at the dinner table. Oops. But it was great having him back.
• The group on bikes. There’s something just ultimately clever and entertaining about them all running to save Buffy–on bikes.

Overall, just a fun Thanksgiving episode. True, it’s a little bittersweet when you consider the history that brought this episode to fruition, but it’s still got a happy ending. Maybe after you watch, you can go read some books about Native Americans, their history, and oppression. You will probably learn something.

In the meantime, enjoy all the fighting…and the bears. It’s a great holiday episode.

Confira os vampiros mais famosos da literatura e do cinema

Arquivo/AE

sábado, 14 de novembro de 2009, 13:48

SÃO PAULO - Veja lista dos vampiros mais famosos da literatura e do cinema.

Conde Drácula

O mais famoso vampiro cinematográfico de todos os tempos foi inspirado no personagem central da obra de Bram Stoker. Vários atores ficaram famosos com este papel no cinema, como Maximiliam Schrek, no clássico do cinema mudo “Nosferatu, uma Sinfonia de Horror”, de 1922. Até hoje, muitas pessoas acreditam que Schrek era mesmo um vampiro na vida real! Bela Lugosi, ator de origem húngara, foi o primeiro a imprimir garbo e elegância ao vampiro, marcando para sempre a imagem do personagem. Depois de Lugosi, Christopher Lee representou Drácula em mais de uma dezena de produções, sempre com total aprovação do público. Mais recentemente, Gary Oldman também entrou para este rol sinistro com a brilhante atuação em ‘Drácula de Bram Stoker’, dirigido pelo consagrado Francis Ford Coppola.

Lestat de Lioncourt

“Eu quero interferir nas coisas, fazer as coisas acontecerem!”. Este é o lema do vampiro mais famoso da literatura depois de Drácula: o sedutor Lestat de Lioncourt, narrador de quatro livros das “Crônicas Vampirescas” de Anne Rice. Nos cinemas, o personagem foi imortalizado por Tom Cruise em “Entrevista com o Vampiro”, de 1994. Lestat foi mordido ainda adolescente por Magnus, um vampiro de 300 anos, que se autodestruiu logo depois. Com isso, os poderes seculares da criatura passaram para o rapaz, e também toda sua fortuna. Apaixonado pelo jovem Louis, ele resolveu vampirizá-lo, assim como a menina Claudia. Entretanto, Lestat foi traído pelos pupilos e quase foi destruído. Séculos depois, resolveu contar a um jornalista toda a sua história, para transformá-la num livro. Nos dias de hoje, o egocêntrico Lestat decidiu se tornar uma estrela do Rock, na história que também foi levada às telas do cinema com o título de “A Rainha dos Condenados”.

Louis

Louis du Pontlac é descrito por Anne Rice, sua criadora, como um vampiro bastante suave, de cabelos negros e face inexpressiva, exceto pelos brilhantes olhos verdes… No cinema, o super galã Brad Pitt deu vida ao narrador da “Entrevista com o Vampiro”, que foi vampirizado por Lestat (Tom Cruise) aos 25 anos, depois de uma tragédia. A família de Louis prosperava com as plantações de algodão em Nova Orleans, até que seu adorado irmão mais novo veio a falecer. Louis ficou doente e se tornou uma vítima fácil para o apaixonado Lestat. Ao contrário deste, o jovem Pontlac é um vampiro contemplativo, um intelectual desesperançado em busca de respostas para sua condição maldita. Justamente por isso, o experiente Armand (Antonio Banderas), ao conhecê-lo, afirmou que Louis era o Vampiro mais fraco que ainda caminhava sobre a face da Terra…

Vlad

Em julho de 1991, o público brasileiro conheceu o terrível Conde Vladimir Polanski, um Vampiro que marcou época na televisão brasileira. Interpretado por Ney Latorraca, Vlad era o maior dos vilões da novela “Vamp”, escrita por Antônio Calmon e dirigida por Jorge Fernando, um dos maiores sucessos entre os jovens brasileiros. Na história, a cantora de rock Natasha (vivida por Cláudia Ohana) vende sua alma ao terrível Vampiro para conquistar um lugar no estrelato. Arrependida, a Vampira procura abrigo na cidade de Armação dos Anjos, onde acaba sendo perseguida pelo cruel Vlad. A atuação de Latorraca garantiu ao sarcástico Vladimir Polanski um lugar de destaque no rol dos vilões mais carismáticos da teledramaturgia brasileira, imortalizando bordões como o infantilizado “Gotooooso!”, que Vlad exclamava todas as vezes em que sugava um pescoço.

Natasha

Natasha foi a primeira vampira da dramaturgia brasileira, e deixou muitos marmanjos de queixo caído. A personagem foi interpretada pela bela Cláudia Ohana na novela Vamp, de 1991. Ela vendeu sua alma ao terrível Conde Vladimir Polanski para alcançar o sucesso como cantora de rock. No entanto, não era uma criatura do Mal: ao contrário, logo se arrependeu do pacto com Vlad e pôs-se a fugir dele, escondendo-se na cidade de Armação dos Anjos. Lá, ela reencontrou seu amor de vidas passadas, o capitão Jonas, personagem de Reginaldo Farias. Enciumado e receoso de que esse amor medieval pudesse voltar à tona, o Conde Vladimir passou a perseguir Natasha e a família do capitão, causando trapalhadas que renderam boas risadas ao público.

Angel

Este é o Vampiro mais adorado pelas adolescentes de todo o planeta… Protagonista de um seriado de TV americano, Angel é um Vampiro sedutor que usa todo o seu charme e inteligência para ajudar os oprimidos e tirar da consciência o peso de séculos praticando o Mal… Interpretado pelo galã David Boreanaz, o herói fez sua estréia em outra série televisiva, “Buffy, a Caça-Vampiros”. Depois de ser vencido pela protagonista, o Vampiro irlandês Angelus resolveu assumir o lado do Bem e a paixão pela mocinha, interpretada por Sarah Michelle Gellar. O grande sucesso do personagem lhe garantiu uma série própria, iniciada em 1999, que mostra a trajetória do Vampiro justiceiro após deixar a amada e a pequena cidade de Sunnydale para iniciar uma carreira de investigador particular em Los Angeles… Assim como Blade, Angel se tornou uma dor de cabeça ambulante para seus irmãos de sangue, e um verdadeiro colírio para as fãs mais animadas!

Jerry Dandridge

Apesar de serem monstros da escuridão, os Vampiros quase sempre foram representados no cinema como galanteadores incorrigíveis, homens elegantes que não perdem a chance de seduzir uma bela mocinha, para só depois revelar a horrível face do mal… E Jerry Dandridge, o vilão de “A Hora do Espanto”, um blockbuster de 1985, vestiu com perfeição este estereótipo marcante dos sanguessugas. Vestido sempre de modo impecável, perfumado e polido, a máscara de Jerry (interpretado por Chris Sarandon) só não foi capaz de enganar o jovem Charley, que desconfiou desde sempre da boa educação de seu novo vizinho… Com seu estilo doce e sexy, Jerry Dandrige conseguiu vampirizar a namorada do jovem, Amy, e seu melhor amigo, Ed, além de arrancar muitos suspiros da maior parte do público feminino, especialmente quando assobiava romanticamente o clássico “Strangers in the night” (tudo a ver, não é mesmo?), de Sinatra.

David

“Dormir o dia inteiro. Zoar a noite toda. Nunca crescer. Nunca morrer. É divertido ser um vampiro!”. Foi com este lema que o sensual vampiro David conquistou diversos seguidores no filme Garotos Perdidos (Lost Boys, 1987), clássico dos anos 80 estrelado por Kiefer Sutherland. As estripulias bizarras de David e sua turma vampiresca escandalizaram uma pequena cidade da Califórnia. Como em um ritual, suas vítimas precisavam beber vinho de sangue e comer vermes. Foi o caso de Emerson (Jason Patrick), que por amor a Star (Jami Gertz), aceitou o rito de passagem e se tornou um ser das trevas, passando a integrar a primeira gangue de sanguessugas bad boys do cinema!

Bento Carneiro

“Minha vingança será maligna!” – Quem já ouviu esta frase pode até não se lembrar da origem, mas os fãs de Chico Anysio jamais vão esquecer de Bento Carneiro, o Vampiro Brasileiro, o único ser das trevas que morava “aquém do além adonde que veve os mortos”… O personagem, um vampiro atrapalhado, simplório e desprestigiado, foi criado pelo humorista na década de 80 e logo se tornou um dos maiores sucessos de seu “Chico Anysio Show”. Sempre ao lado de seu fiel escudeiro, Calunga, Bento Carneiro fez do mito do Vampiro um veículo perfeito para brincar e ridicularizar, sempre com muito bom humor, as mazelas e contradições da sociedade brasileira.

Os Monstros

Na década de 60, a CBS americana produziu um seriado para a TV que marcou toda uma geração de telespectadores. A exemplo da família Addams, da rival ABC, realizada na mesma época, os Monstros faziam piada com os costumes exóticos de uma família sinistra… O pai, Herman (Fred Gwynne), era filho de um certo Dr. Frankestein. Vovô (Al Lewis), de apenas 370 anos, gastava a maior parte de seu tempo em loucas experiências de laboratório. Os filhos eram Eddie (Butch Patrick), verdadeiro monstrinho de pele verde, orelhas pontiagudas e caninos afiados, e Marilyn (Beverley Owen/Pat Priest), loira, esbelta, de olhos verdes, isto é, um verdadeiro horror para os padrões da família! A única vampira da história era a esposa de Herman, Lily Dracula, uma dona de casa sempre preocupada com a criação dos filhos… Cancelado nos EUA em 1966, o seriado foi exibido no Brasil ainda na década de 60, e reprisado em meados da década de 70, fazendo mais sucesso do que os Addams! As trapalhadas dos Monstros divertiam pessoas de todas as idades, principalmente quando Vovô resolvia dar uma voltinha com seu veículo: um caixão sobre rodas!

Varney

Sir Francis Varney era uma criatura literalmente repugnante. Criado pelo escritor inglês James Malcolm Rymer em 1847 (antes mesmo de Drácula!) no livro “Varney, o Vampiro ou o Banquete Sangrento”, a maior arma dessa criatura era a sua feiúra! Com sua face pálida e mórbidos olhos cor-de-lata, Varney hipnotizava suas vítimas apenas com o olhar… Com unhas e dentes pontiagudos, esse vampiro arranhava as vidraças das casas, fazendo o ruído de granizo. Por isso, também ficou conhecido como o “Vampiro das Tempestades”, agindo sempre em dias chuvosos ou com neve. Esse monstro pavoroso tinha preferência por jovens indefesas, que eram atacadas sem dó nem piedade. No entanto, Varney era um ser bastante temperamental, e se dava ao luxo de se sentir desgostoso com a imortalidade de vez em quando… Então, quando os raios da lua o acordavam e seu humor não estava dos melhores, o vampiro se escondia no Monte Vesúvio, onde nenhum feixe de luz poderia despertá-lo.

Blade

Além da Vampirella, outro herói dos quadrinhos também ficou famoso pelos seus poderes vampirescos. Ele se chama Blade e nasceu das idéias de Marv Wolfman, então roteirista da Marvel Comics. A grande diferença é que o herói negro não é bem um Vampiro de verdade, e sim uma mistura de ser humano com um Filho das Trevas… Como? A origem de Blade é espetacular: sua mãe foi atacada por um Vampiro quando ainda levava o filho no útero. Dessa forma, o bebê recebeu um pouco do sangue maldito, adquirindo alguns de seus poderes especiais. Como vingança, Blade se tornou um impiedoso caçador dos sanguessugas, e para isso utiliza as geringonças high-tech criadas por Whistler, também inventor do soro que Blade usa para poder caminhar à luz do dia sem virar pó. No cinema, o herói já mereceu dois filmes que estouraram nas bilheterias, ambos protagonizados pelo blockbuster Wesley Snipes.

O Vampiro do Brooklyn

Blade, o caçador de Vampiros vivido por Wesley Snipes, não é o único representante da galeria de sanguessugas afro-americanos… Em 1995, Eddie Murphy personificou no cinema o hilariante Maximillian, único sobrevivente de uma raça de Vampiros de uma ilha caribenha. Dirigido por Wes Craven, da série “Pânico”, “O Vampiro do Brooklyn” trouxe a verve cômica do eterno tira da pesada para o mundo dos Filhos da Noite. No filme, Eddie Murphy tem que encontrar a única mulher que pode salvar sua raça da extinção. Vivida por Angela Basset, Rita mora no Brooklyn e convive com estranhos pesadelos. Sem saber, a moça é filha de um Vampiro, e por isso carrega nas veias um destino sanguinolento. Mas uma série de contratempos acontecem (como sempre!) e Maximillian tem de mover mundos e fundos para conquistar Rita e garantir a preservação de sua espécie.

Blacula

Blacula é o personagem principal do filme de mesmo nome, dirigido por William Crain em 1972. Trata-se da versão afro-americana do maior vampiro de todos os tempos. A história começa com Manuwalde (William Marshall), um príncipe africano que é vampirizado pelo próprio Conde Drácula em 1780, e acaba trancafiado dentro de seu próprio caixão. Séculos depois, dois colecionadores de arte resolvem levar a tumba para Los Angeles, onde Blacula desperta sedento de sangue! O Vampiro conhece Tina, a reencarnação de sua falecida esposa Luva, e faz de tudo para conquistar o seu amor. Mas o caminho de Blacula está cheio de obstáculos: Gordon, o melhor amigo da moça, descobre a verdade sobre Manuwalde e inicia uma verdadeira caçada ao vampiro africano…

Zé Vampir

Quem é que nunca se divertiu com as histórias da Turma do Penadinho, escritas por Maurício de Souza? Pois essa galerinha de arrepiar não poderia deixar de ter o seu Vampiro. Ele se chama Zé Vampir e é cheio de classe… Ao contrário dos outros personagens do cemitério, como o Cranícola, Muminho, Lobisomen e a Dona Morte, que normalmente usam apenas trapos ou lençóis (afinal, são fantasmas!), o nosso menino Vampiro se inspirou nos elegantes sanguessugas do cinema para compor o seu visual: smoking, gravata borboleta e uma elegante capa! Como a maioria dos Vampiros, Zé Vampir também pode se transformar em um simpático morcego, coisa que faz sempre quando quer assustar alguém. Apesar disso, Zé Vampir é um Vampiro camarada, e nunca leva seu apetite por sangue às últimas consequências. Na verdade, o morceguinho sempre acaba preferindo alguma guloseima à base de morango ou groselha, bem vermelhinha…

Don Drácula

Protagonista de um desenho animado japonês, Don Drácula (Don Dorakyura) fez a festa de muitas crianças brasileiras durante a década de 80, quando foi exibido. Criado por Osamu Tezuka (considerado o “Deus do Mangá”) em 1979, o pano de fundo da história é a mudança de Drácula para o Japão, para fugir de seu arquiinimigo, o Dr. Rip Van Helsing… Muito desastrado, o Vampiro acaba se envolvendo em muitas confusões com sua filha, Sangria, e Igor, seu criado corcunda. Sem falar no morceguinho Yasu, que narra com muito bom humor alguns momentos da história. Além de Van Helsing, Don Drácula também se esforça para fugir dos “ataques” da apaixonada Blonda, uma gorducha cheia de sangue para dar! Um típico desenho japonês, que deixou saudades em muita gente.

Vampirella

Criada na década de 60 pelo célebre Forrest J. Ackerman (o escritor que utilizou pela primeira vez a expressão “Sci-Fi”), a curvilínea Vampirella povoa a imaginação dos marmanjos desde aquela época. Sempre vestida com um sensual maiô colante vermelho, que revela boa parte de sua invejável forma física, a Vampirella das histórias em quadrinhos já teve duas origens… Para Ackerman, a Vampira era uma alienígena de Drakulon, onde todos os habitantes são Vampiros que se alimentam do sangue que corre nos rios desse estranho planeta. Na década de 90, entretanto, Vampirella teve sua origem reescrita por Kevin Lau, e passou a ser a filha de Lilith, uma Vampira mitológica. Seja como for, Vampi (como é carinhosamente chamada pelos íntimos) continua combatendo o crime com seu peculiar estilo sexy-sangrento, e muita gente boa não ligaria nem um pouco em ser mordido pela simpática heroína…

Mirza

Criada em 1967 por Eugênio Colonnese, um dos mestres pioneiros da HQ nacional, Mirza é a personagem feminina mais conhecida do terror brasileiro. Inspirada na internacional Vampirella, a vampira brasileira povoou o imaginário de várias gerações de leitores, já que foi publicada em momentos distintos das décadas de 60, 70 e 80. O verdadeiro nome de Mirza era Mirela Zamanova, uma condessa exuberante que se tornou um ícone não só do terror como também do erotismo nos quadrinhos. Suas aventuras se davam nos ambientes glamurosos das passarelas da alta moda e nas festas da elite brasileira, já que Mirza ganhava a vida como modelo internacional, sempre vestida (ou despida, é claro!) em trajes provocantes e muito muito sensuais… Em seu reinado de terror, Mirza visitou as maiores cidades do mundo, procurando suas vítimas indiscriminadamente entre homens e mulheres, e deixando uma verdadeira legião de “órfãos”, candidatos eternos aos voluptuosos caninos da vampira.

Miriam Blaylock

A secular vampira Miriam Blaylock, interpretada por Catherine Deneuve em “Fome de viver” (The Hungers), ficou célebre na película de Tony Scott, um dos mais belos e chocantes filmes de 1983. Personagem do livro mais famoso de Whitley Strieber, Lady Miriam e seu vampiro-amante John (David Bowie) tinham uma vida sofisticada, eram apaixonados por música clássica e sobreviviam à base de sangue novo de homens e mulheres. Mas repentinamente John teve um estranho distúrbio celular e envelheceu em poucos segundos, forçando Miriam a procurar a doutora Sarah Roberts (Susan Sarandon), especialista em envelhecimento precoce. Foi a deixa para que a vampira seduzisse a médica ao som da ópera Lakmé, de Léo Delibes, em uma das cenas mais eróticas do filme. Sob o poder de Miriam, Sarah foi perdendo aos poucos sua identidade humana, mergulhando cada vez mais fundo na escuridão dos Filhos da Noite…

Carmilla

Personagem central de um conto publicado em 1872 pelo escritor irlandês Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla foi uma das primeiras criaturas da noite registradas na literatura mundial. De hábitos noturnos, cabelos e olhos castanho escuros, Carmilla logo chamou a atenção de Laura, uma jovem da nobreza austríaca com quem a Vampira manteve um relacionamento conturbado. Na história, narrada pela própria vítima, Carmilla acaba revelando ser a Condessa Karnstein, uma antepassada de Laura, falecida há mais de 150 anos! Linda, graciosa e de porte aristocrático, Carmilla influenciou toda uma geração de Vampiras fatais, e há quem diga, inclusive, que Bram Stoker teria se inspirado na obra de seu conterrâneo para criar o seu Drácula.

Philinnion

Philinnion é a personagem de um conto muito antigo atribuído ao historiador grego Phlegon de Trales, que teria vivido no primeiro ou segundo século da era cristã, e por isso pode ser considerada uma das primeiras vampiras da literatura. A história narra o drama de um jovem chamado Machates, que se apaixonou perdidamente por Philinnion, sem saber que ela já estava morta… Machates morava com os pais da moça, e recebia todas as noites a visita de sua noiva. Quando os pais de Philinnion viram a filha na cama com o hóspede, trataram de avisá-lo que aquilo era uma assombração! O jovem ficou arrasado, e Philinnion amaldiçoou seus pais por terem revelado seu pequeno segredo… Mais tarde, os habitantes da cidade perceberam que a tumba da jovem estava vazia e encontraram seu corpo em casa. O cadáver de Philinnion foi então queimado e oferecido ao Deus Hermes, para que sua alma fosse enviada ao mundo das trevas. A história de Philinnion era muito famosa na época do Império Romano, e serviu de inspiração para Goethe escrever seu famoso poema “Die Braut von Korinth”.

Lord Ruthven

Personagem principal do livro “The Vampyre”, publicado em 1819, o sedutor Lord Ruthven nasceu durante uma emocionante tempestade literária… Reza a lenda que, em 1816, o grande poeta romântico Lord Byron reuniu em Genebra alguns amigos, entre eles Mary Shelley, escritora, e John Polidori, médico. Byron propôs um desafio aos demais: uma competição de histórias de terror, que foi vencida pelo Frankenstein criado na ocasião por Shelley. Foi nesse jogo que Byron idealizou o enredo para “The Vampyre”, mas logo abandonou o projeto. Polidori, que também estava naquela noite, desenvolveu a idéia de Byron e ainda se inspirou na figura do amigo para dar vida a Ruthven, um elegante Vampiro inglês que transitava com desenvoltura nas festas mais chiques da nobreza européia, onde dava vazão a seus instintos bestiais entre um gole de champagne e uma mordida certeira no pescoço de alguma linda donzela… O evento azedou a amizade dos dois, mas deu ao mundo um dos personagens vampíricos mais marcantes da literatura mundial.

Conde Saint-German

O Conde Ragoczy Saint-German é a principal criação da escritora californiana Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, que conta com uma verdadeira legião de fãs vampirescos nos Estados Unidos. Protagonista de mais de uma dezena de livros, Saint-German é um vampiro do bem, um herói que usa a experiência acumulada em 3500 anos de vida para ajudar o próximo, principalmente no caso de belas mulheres… Poliglota, rico e inteligente, Saint-German é um farmacêutico/alquimista, que precisa de sangue para se manter vivo, mas nunca mata suas vítimas, preferindo alimentar-se de suas amantes ou de estranhos que, em troca, recebem sonhos agradáveis por telepatia. Assim como os sanguessugas tradicionais, o vampiro de Yazbro também não pode se ver no espelho, carrega sempre um punhado de sua terra natal (às vezes dentro dos sapatos…), e pode se recuperar de ferimentos que levariam qualquer ser humano à morte! Um herói pra lá de charmoso, que convida o leitor para conhecer as mais fantásticas eras de nossa história.

Azzo, o Cavaleiro

Encravado em algum lugar dos Cárpatos, na Romênia, está o assombrado castelo Klatka. Este é o lar de Azzo, o Cavaleiro Vampiro que protagoniza a obra “A Mysterious Stranger”, de autor desconhecido, publicada pela primeira vez em 1860. Azzo é um Vampiro centenário, com um profundo desprezo pela humanidade, e só tem interesse pelas coisas pitorescas, incomuns. Ante sua presença, mesmo os lobos mais selvagens se tornam dóceis e inofensivos. Com a eterna aparência de um homem de 40 anos, alto e magro, o Cavaleiro tem olhos cinzas amedrontadores, e usa bigode, barba e cabelos negros e curtos. Sempre vestido em sua armadura medieval, Azzo é rude, sarcástico e monossilábico com os visitantes, guardando toda a sua elegância e cultura secular para cortejar as jovens donzelas que acompanham os viajantes. Quando convidado para um banquete, o Cavaleiro Azzo sempre recusa a comida, fazendo questão de frisar que só se alimenta de líquidos… quentes!

O Vampiro de Sussex

Em 1924, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle publicou “The Sussex Vampire” (“O Vampiro de Sussex”), colocando Sherlock Holmes frente a frente com um ser das trevas. A história começa em uma manhã de novembro, com uma carta assustadora. Nela, um certo Robert Ferguson pede a ajuda de Holmes para resolver um espantoso caso de vampirismo! O detetive começa a investigar uma série de mortes ocorridas no vilarejo em questão, que parecem ligadas a um estranho fato ocorrido há um século atrás. Nessa ocasião, os habitantes do local teriam assassinado todos os integrantes de uma família, acusados de vampiros. Assustados, os novos moradores começam a acreditar que um descendente dos sanguessugas é o responsável pelas mortes, sedento de sangue e vingança. Sherlock tem de usar toda a sua miraculosa astúcia para resolver a questão, e acaba provando mais uma vez que os vivos sempre são muito mais perigosos que os mortos… Mas você não vai querer saber o final da história, certo? O negócio é ler o livro para se deliciar com o caso mais sanguinolento do maior detetive do mundo!

VAMPIROS FAMOSOS DA TV E DO CINEMA

1. Lestat – Interview With the Vampire

2. Christopher Lee’s Dracula

3. Bela Lugosi’s Dracula

4. Edward Cullen – Twilight (Crepúsculo)

5. Bill and Eric – True Blood

6. Asa Vajda, 1960’s Black Sunday

7. Angel

8. Mr. Barlow – Salem’s Lot

9. Schuyler Van Alen – Melissa de la Cruz’s Blue Bloods series

10. Gary Oldman’s Drácula

Fonte: Revista Entertainment Weekly

http://www.estadao.com.br/noticias/arteelazer,confira-os-vampiros-mais-famosos-da-literatura-e-do-cinema,466500,0.htm

[We've got a list of top vampire and zombie movies floating around on the (un) Death-Match site. Well, it's high time that we take a look at werewolves. My lovely friend from The Dartmouth Soundsystem agreed to shower the site with her expertise in this area. She takes a look at werewolves on the big and little screen.]

By Lauren Oostveen

Twilight has made a bold attempt to turn vampires into wimps, and with that mopey sequel in theatres, werewolves are getting the pre-teen treatment, too. Alas. I fear for the youth of today.

For your benefit, here are some facts you should know about werewolves:

1. A werewolf would eat you.
2. A werewolf doesn’t care about your feelings.
3. A werewolf won’t hold your hand while you cry.
4. Lon Chaney Jr. > Taylor Lautner times ONE MILLION.
5. Benecio Del Toro > Taylor Lautner…and I haven’t seen The Wolf Man remake, yet! My assumption is based off of the ridiculous poster. See:

BAD ASS.

If you agree with the statements above…then read on! Here are a few of my favourite werewolves in television and film.

1. An American Werewolf in London
We have many things to thank John Landis for (and a few things to loath him for). My personal favourite of his is An American Werewolf in London, which successfully merges horror and comedy to create a really fun film. Two American backpackers are travelling around the UK when they’re attached by a mysterious beast. Don’t go out to the moors at night, OK?

2. Ginger Snaps
Growing up sucks! Two creepy sisters, Ginger and Bridgitte, are having fun being morbid and stuff when A) Ginger gets her period for the first time and B) Is subsequently bitten by a werewolf. Isn’t puberty the worst? As Ginger gets scarier and scarier, her sister tries to find a way to cure her. Awesome Canadian film!

3. The Wolf Man
This film is like the Holy Bible of werewolf flicks. It introduced the notion that a silver bullet can kill a werewolf, that they are forced to change under a full moon, and that they are supposedly marked with a pentagram. Lon Chaney Jr. portrays a man who goes to visit his ancestral home when he is attacked by a werewolf. His performance in this film is chock full of guilt and torment, leaving the audience more sympathetic than scared. The make-up in this movie is ridiculous, especially when you account for it being 1941 and all.

4. The Howling
Joe Dante, I love you! Please do a sequel to The ‘burbs. Another great 1980s werewolf movie. A TV news anchor heads to a commune-esque clinic to take a break after being traumatized by a serial killer. Fun party, right? NOPE. Straaaaaaange things happen once she arrives. What she doesn’t know is that there is a “den” of werewolves nearby…dun dun DUNNNN.

5. Wolfen
OK, so they’re not really werewolves…just really smart wolves who decide they’re hungry for MAN FLESH. Features kind of heavy-handed social commentary and views of urban decay in New York City. If that doesn’t interest you, your boyfriend Edward James Olmos is in it.

6. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Seth Green plays an introspective teenager named Oz who plays lead guitar in Dingos Ate My Baby and turns into a werewolf every once in a while. By dating Willow the witch, he becomes part of the Scooby Gang until things go decidedly bad and he leaves town. Oz is mostly well behaved and only occasionally eats people.

7. The Hilarious House of Frightenstein
This amazing 1970s Canadian kids show had a cast of creepy characters, but The Wolfman stood out for me as being the best. The guy has a bunch of things going for him…he’s a DJ, he gets to listen to Sly and the Family Stone all day, sports a fashionable beard, and has excellent dance parties with Igor. Lucky.

8. Werewolves on Wheels
A biker gang smashes up the monastery of some Satan-worshipping monks. OH NO! But the monks have a trick up their sleeve, as they have turned one of the biker chicks into a werewolf via their evil powers…with dire results, mwahahha.

9. Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too
Michael J. Fox is an average guy, but then he turns into a werewolf and is a BASKETBALL STAR and A TOTAL STUD. But what he wants most is to be normal. Sigh.
Jason Bateman stars in the so-bad-it’s-kinda-good sequel with basically the same plot. Except he’s in college. And the sport is boxing. OK.

10. Dog Soldiers
British soldiers are on a training operation in Scotland, which, unfortunately, is overrun with werewolves. And the full moon is rising. Well, darn it. The soldiers fight for their lives as they attempt to live through the night. A pretty tense movie with lots of jumpy moments.

Ok, so I didnt take very long between posts today. My lunch got cancelled when I saw the state my housemates had left the kitchen in, so I settled for Crumpets with peanut butter on. WORST. MISTAKE. EVER. Don’t try it at home is all I can say. It felt like I had a mouth full of industrial strength glue. Couldnt chew for shit!

Since 2000 we have heard a lot of females claim to be the best (Buffy The Body) and who others claimed to be the best (Angel Lola) but in the end after we ran through 50 names that included names like lauren London,Esther Baxter,Bria Miles as well as One time video girls such as Megan Good,Paula Patton and Anna Kornikova. In the end only one name reigned supreme..  Who was it?

Rosa Acosta?                                                            Buffy                     

Angel

Take a look and see who was the top dog

The one and the only  The one through all the hate and newcomers still set the bar for Video Models everywhere..  In a interview once i called her “The Top Chick” and she still is

Melyssa “Jessica Rabbit “Ford

Take a look at the entire list and see where your favorite video Girl ranked

http://www.complex.com/blogs/2009/11/19/best-of-the-2000s-the-top-50-music-video-girls/

Junkpile is a semi-regular feature wherein I dump all the random crap that isn’t fit for its own post.

Twilight

I wonder if people would hate this franchise so much if it were about the forbidden love between a country music star and a girl from the inner city? I don’t remember much of a stink being made in our circles over The Bridges of Madison County or even High School Musical.  That kind of thing may leave a sour taste in a geek’s mouth, but it certainly never inspired calls for face stabbing. So what puts this franchise on the radar? Geek pundits can go on and on about how horrible the Twilight books and films are, but doesn’t it really boil down to  fan entitlement over vampires themselves? Putting it simply, I think geeks, horror fans in particular, are pissed off that someone has co-opted a piece of their cultural iconography and used it to successfully sell a teen romance. It can’t be the story itself – a teen girl falls in love with an immortal paramour.

But the difference there is that Buffy was a show by geeks that appealed to geeks – it wasn’t designed first and foremost as a love story aimed at young girls. Which brings me back to the sorry truth that I think most geeks are only upset by this franchise because it dared muddy the genre waters and use horror elements in a non-geek approved fashion.  And the worst offense? These “defanged” vampires now have more cultural credit than Buffy…or Christopher Lee…or Near Dark…or Let The Right One In!!! Sparkly “vegetarian” vampires, indeed.

Sad that nobody will take Vampires seriously anymore

Here’s something for you to chew on this Thanksgiving: “Am I really mad at Twilight for making vampires uncool, or am I just mad at myself for not realizing before now that they were never cool?”

And speaking of vegetarian vampires…

Sarah Palin Likes Meat

She says so in her new book. Perhaps she should watch this.

Thanksgiving at the Palin's

What’s in a Genre?

Somebody explain to me how this:

Is a different genre of music than this:

Time to get over your pop bias, dark wavers.

Thanksgiving

I wish this movie existed, if only so I could watch it tomorrow and fast forward all the boring bits…oh, wait, that’s exactly what this trailer does.

Happy Thanksgiving.

All the longuers of yesterday somehow overwhelmed what should have been the day’s notable good news: my proposal for the 2010 SC4: The Slayage Conference on the Whedonverses has been accepted!

What is my proposed paper? For several years, students in my Freshman Comp 2 classes have been analyzing Buffy 7.16 “Storyteller” as part of a unit on metafiction. For many of them, it’s also their introduction to the show. So I’ll be discussing how that has worked out.

The literature anthology that has included this “metafiction” unit goes into a new edition next year, cutting the unit and most of the stories in it, so Spring 2010 is probably the last semester I’ll be using “Storyteller.” However, I’ll probably find a place for another Whedon show episode from Firefly and/or Buffy.

So I was flipping through a magazine today and they had a page of photos of Twilight-themed goods available to buy online. One of these was a wall transfer that said:

It wasn't quite the same as this particular decoration, as it was in gothic script and had the '...' after 'Edward,' but this one is close enough.

 Yep. “I’m just a Bella, waiting for my Edward…” Oh how I lolled.

So I got to thinking about Twilight, which led to thought on vampires in general, and then I came across a general vampire meme, and I thought: I need to blog about this. So here we go, Ace’s Vampire Meme.

Ace’s Vampire Meme!

Why do you think people are fascinated by vampires?

The thing about vampires is that they appeal to our subconscious. People often associate vampire with death, or with sex, but it’s more than that. Vampires are dead, powerful, faster and stronger than us, dangerous, and often gorgeous and alluring.  They appeal to people because they’re like we are, only better. They’re also the perfect predator. Vampires represent the mysterious, the erotic, the dangerous. They’re all about the repressed or the darker side of our psyche. They’re dangerous, alluring, sexually desirable and aware, near-invulnerable, and they can do anything they like without fear of the consequences. They appeal to us because they are an outlet for all the things in our subconscious that we cannot let out.  In the past 15-20 years there’s been a lot of tortured-soul vampire stuff; from Angel in Buffy or Edward Cullen from Twilight to name the two most well-known examples; and that’s another aspect that appeals to people. Lots of people have some dark secret, some dilemma or addiction that is mucking up their life, and that’s what the ‘vampire as a tortured soul’ stuff really is. It’s a metaphor. So much vampire stuff is a metaphor for something.

 Coolest vampire stuff out there?

Well, obviously Buffy has to be on this list, which in a way is kind of a shame, because it deviates quite a bit from the established vampire mythos of pop culture. Vampires as soulless, ugly demons? Who steal their names from Doctor Who and look like Dark Lords from Harry Potter, only less cool? (You don’t know what I’m talking about, check out this guy. Totally Voldemort with a nose. And with no fashion sense, obviously.) All the same, Buffy is nonetheless a good show and doubtless reinvigorated the vampire mythos for a new decade and a new generation.

My personal favorite part of the vampire pop culture is the Betsy Taylor series of novels by MaryJanice Davidson, about a blonde valleygirl-type airhead who dies and wakes up Queen of the Vampires, much to her horror and dismay. The earlier ones are strongly comic supernatural romance, but the later ones are a lot stronger on plot and a little bit darker as Betsy reluctantly takes on the responsibility of being the Queen.

Finally, Carpe Jugulum (‘Seize the Jugular?’) by Terry Pratchett is awesome, for parodying the vampire genre even as it tells a great story. 

 Since everyone is asking this question; Team Edward or Team Jacob?

*frowny face* Honestly, I don’t particularly like either of them. Let’s go Team Alice. She’s bouncy and fun and slightly eccentric, and the actress who plays her in the movie is pretty, and hot.

Favorite vampire stereotype?

The true predatorial vampires, that is the dangerous killers vs. seducer type, probably, and the ‘Gothic Lolita’ female vampire you see a lot in manga; that is, flirty and feminine and kind of goth, but with frills and lace and cuteness. If they’ve combined gothic vampire dress with cute feminine dress and hairstyle, it’s probably a ’Gothic Lolita’ vampire.

A sketch of a 'Gothic Lolita' vampire... is it just me, or does she look vaguely like Britney Spears?

KT will bring the cranberries if you bring the pumpkin pie.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: 5.09 “Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap”

Okay, I know it sounds just like a sequel to an action movie, but if it were really “revenge of the slap,” wouldn’t Barney be slapping Marshall?

Anyway.  This is my preference, but I’m not a big fan of the “Slapsgiving” episodes — we spend the whole thing discussing how Barney’s gonna get what’s coming to him and by the end it all just seems mean.  In contrast, slap #2 was spontaneous and we all cheered because Marshall got Barney just as he was being particularly obnoxious.  (That was the one with Barney’s one man show.  You remember.)

So there’s my bias on that part of the episode.  I did love the lead-in where Ted and Robin recovered Marshall’s perfect turkey, though.  And I did enjoy watching Barney’s face while Ted and Robin argued and he egged them on.  And yes, I loved that they reworked the “You just got slapped” song to be a jingle for a (somewhat horrifying) commercial.

Instead, let’s talk about Lily’s dad.  I think at this point the only parent we haven’t met is Robin’s mother  (because Bob Barker is totally Barney’s father), so that’s interesting.  And from what we know, Lily’s mom is fairly normal.  She throws her daughter a bridal shower.  She gets her daughter and son-in-law to watch her cat.  She gets upset when the cat does not survive said cat-sitting.

Obviously, Lily’s dad had to be a freak.

Specifically, he’s a man-child whose attempts to invent board games came between him and Lily’s ballet recitals, art shows, and gymnastics meets.  That led to some fun flashbacks with a cute redheaded girl and some outrageous fake board games.  The nightmare fuel game with killer clowns especially cracked me up.

A few years ago, we learn, Lily came to the end of her rope with him, leading to flashbacks of Lily giving her “you are dead to me” look.  Something about these seemed a little off to me about presenting her fiery look at the end of an otherwise quiet scene, but they were okay.  The glowing eyes and the wind machine kinda made me think of Willow in the Buffy finale.

I do think it’s interesting to see Lily and Marshall disagree on something big.  And I don’t mean that it’s interesting to see them fight — though we saw that recently and that had its moments — but the kind of disagreements every relationship has, over what is or isn’t normal.  How close do you expect a family to be?  (And, wow, Marshall’s weekly video-conferenced dinner with his family in Minnesota was a hoot.  Complete with manikin arms!)  Is it ever all right to cut a relative out of your life?  Maybe so, Marshall agrees after the “gall bladder” incident, but soft-hearted Lily is ready to reconcile instead.

By the way, you know the old line about women tending to marry men who are like their fathers?  I’m amused that Lily’s dad invents board games.  Remember how Marshall always wins games?  Remember Marshgammon from “Game Night”?  Heh.

But in the end, what really matters is that everyone sits down to a nice turkey dinner — provided, I assume, by the bodega downstairs to replace Marshall’s fabulous but ultimately lead paint splattered bird.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!  May your turkey be un-splattered and your faces un-slapped!

New Moon Movie Poster

In 2008, Catherine Hardwike’s cinematic interpretation of Stephanie Meyer’s ‘Twilight’ told us the tale of Bella Swan’s (Kristen Stewart) romantic journey into the arms of broody vampire Edward Cullen. (Robert Pattinson) It’s main aim was to try to depict the intensity of teenage romance and that insatiable infatuation that comes with your first love. New Moon however, deals with the aftermath. How does one cope when the person they desire the most leaves them forever?

Just one day after Twilight’s release, Summit Entertainment greenlit the production of its much anticipated sequel. Yes, after months of hype, New Moon was finally released last week making many a teenage girl slide of their seat with excitement. (Too gross?)

The movie opens on a dream sequence, with Bella and Edward prancing through a field towards a lady whom they presume to be Bella’s grandmother. However, it turns out to be Bella herself, 60 years older with her eternally 17 year old boyfriend by her side. Fearing that Edward won’t want her when “she gets so old and wrinkly that she looks like David Brinkley”, she decides that the only way to keep him interested is to change, a decision that Edward disagrees with intensely. Unfortunately, this semi-interesting sub-plot is put aside until the very end of the movie.

"I vant to suck your blood!"

Instead the film focuses on the repercussions of Bella’s birthday party. As seen in the trailer, during Bella’s 18^th she accidently cuts herself on some wrapping paper. This tiny droplet of blood makes Jasper (the curly haired one who constantly looks surprised) go apepoopy and launch himself at Bella.

This occurrence makes Edward come to the conclusion that the only way to protect Bella is to stay away from her; so he and his family of blood-sucking brothers and sisters pack their face paint and lipstick and head off for pastures unknown leaving Bella all alone in Dumpsville.

We'd make an awesome couple

In order to get over Edward, she hits the rebound hard and starts to spend time with family friend Jacob Black. (Taylor Lautner) However, like Edward, he too holds a dark secret; he is one of few in his tribe born with a latent werewolf gene, whose main goal in life is to hunt down and kill vampires. Thus a love triangle is born!

Ok… so here’s what I thought. Twilight was dreadful. I walked into that movie expecting to love it. It seemed to possess that cheesy charm I find utterly irresistible with most films. Instead, I felt cheated. They sparkle for Christ’s sake! How can a diehard Whedonite be expect to take this seriously? I was one of few who didn’t fall for Pattinson’s charm, and to be perfectly frank his ‘brooding intensity’ seemed to me like nothing a few Imodium Plus couldn’t remedy.

Yet for some unexplainable reason, there was this little thing inside me that somehow managed to maintain hope. When the trailer for New Moon was released, I’ll admit, I got a bit giddy. Slow-motion action, werewolf transformations, Dakota Fanning all growed up; it looked amazing. Not to mention the fact that it had a very impressive soundtrack behind it.

But ultimately, the trailer was the best part of this movie. The opening sequence at the very beginning of the credits is of a full moon slowly eclipsing to reveal the title. It seemed to take an eternity. That’s exactly what the film felt like; an hour in the viewer was still waiting for something to actually happen.

We're pretty

When Edward leaves we see Bella moping around for months on end, suffering from night terrors and continuously writing unanswered emails to Edward’s pixie-haired sister Alice (Ashley Greene) , one of the only interesting members of the Cullen clan. Thrilling cinema I’m sure you’ll agree. Realising that the closest she feels to Edward is when she’s near death, she becomes some sort of “adrenaline junkie” putting her own life at risk for the sake of an apparition of her old flame. A ghostly vision of Edward pops up every now and again to try and talk Bella out of doing something reckless, like jumping off a cliff, or getting raped by bikers. I couldn’t help but be reminded of that annoying ex-boyfriend every girl has; that guy who just won’t f**k the hell off.

Anyway, Bella continues this stupidity until she finally befriends the newly muscular and often shirtless Jacob, a bloke who warns her that he could mutilate her at a moment’s notice. (Ya gotta admit, the chick has a type.) But Jacob is seemingly a much more caring and devoted character than Edward, a trait which I assume is partially responsible for the ongoing internet war between Team Jacob and Team Edward.

Near the end of the movie, Edward calls Bella’s home phone and is told by a scorned Jacob that Bella has died. As if by magic, the next scene shows Bella and Alice driving a sports car through Italy to stop Edward from committing suicide. Bella reaches him just in time, but there are consequences to his actions. Bella and Edward must confront the Volturi, a sort of vampiric equivalent to Judge Judy. But luckily, Stephanie Meyer pulls out one of her now famous ‘get out of jail free’ cards and Alice convinces them that Bella will become some sort of super-awesome vampire queen, and they leave with little more than a scratch.

Damn, bitch looks rough

Bella frustrates me to no end. She’s a terrible role model for this film’s target audience. In the first movie Edward is quoted as saying that he’s never wanted someone else’s blood as much as he wants hers, yet Bella, too blinded by love, says that she doesn’t care. I mean how low does your self-esteem have to be to put with that sort of crap? When Edward returns at the end of New Moon, Bella simply goes running back to him. What sort of a message is that to send to young girls? ‘Stay with the person who hurt you?’ Bullshit. Kristen Stewart’s acting needs serious work, especially if she’s going to play the Queen of Rock ‘n Roll Joan Jett in upcoming movie ‘The Runaways‘. (Which also features Dakota Fanning as lead singer Cherie Curie)

This movie makes me genuinely angry. Edward Cullen is one of the most boring characters in existence. The only assumption I can conceive as to why people seem to fall all over him is because since he’s nothing more than a pretty face, it’s easy to project your perfect man right onto his perfect body.

Jacob Black is an adorable character played one of the few good actors in the film. (Though I say that lightly. You must remember that I’m comparing him to a cast who seemingly can’t muster up more than two emotions per movie) But Bella treats him like muck, and strings him along for the length of the film. The girl has no idea what she’s missing out on. I mean come on! You just have to look at them to see who the better man is.

Absolutely Gorgeous vs Anemic Little Weed

Dakota Fanning’s ‘Jane’ has a total of about 5 lines in the entire film, and Michael Sheen’s supposedly petrifying portrayal of ‘Aro’ reminded me all too much of that overly touchy teacher from primary school you try desperately to forget about each night… Too far? Reel it back in Carly.

From a directorial standpoint, Chris Weitz did a good job overcoming Hardwike’s shakycam addiction prevalent in the previous film. Although, Hardwike was the brains behind the epitome of all coming of age movies, 2003’s ‘Thirteen’, and her experience in this particular niche of storytelling shone through. A stark contrast to the ‘nothing happens for the first hour’ approach Weitz took.

In conclusion, the only positive thing I can say about this movie is that its soundtrack is well worth a look. Paramore has disconnected itself with the franchise to be replaced by the magnificent Death Cab for Cutie and their fantastic new single ‘Meet Me on the Equinox’, written specifically for this movie. The OST also feature up and coming indie artist Lykke Li, along with old favourites such as Thom Yorke, The Editors and Ok Go.

New Moon was nothing more than a huge disappointment. Even the ridiculous amount of screen time devoted solely to Taylor Lautner’s abs weren’t enough to keep me interested. But you know what the worst part about this whole debacle is? I know I’ll be even more frivolous and excited when the trailer for Eclipse is released. And the comedown after that will be equally, if not more gut-wrenching. I just never learn.

New Moon receives a woeful 1 out of 5 Benders.

The Official Rating System of Obscure References

For more on New Moon and other movie news, listen to Final Cut tonight at 8pm on DCUfm.

Twilight, Twitards, Twihaters… I probably wouldn’t care (or know so much about the books/movies) if it weren’t for the fact that I CAN’T AVOID IT.  Whether it’s pro or anti, Twilight news is eeeeeeverywhere.  In the Bust newsletter, on my Youtube homepage, there’s even a thread on the Attachment Parenting website I frequent.  And here I am writing about it… crap.

Team Jacob? Team Edward?  I’m more of a Team Buffy.  Or team Spike. Mmmmmm Spike.  Thank goodness for the fact that my baby girl is too new for Twilight to ever be relevant to her life – I would have to teach her that vampires are for staking, not for sparkling.  (As it is I will have my hands full preparing her for the zombie attack.. more on that some other day).  Of course, by the time she is old enough for the teen-screaming-at-pretty-boys phase, there will be some other disturbing crap out for me to roll my eyes at.  Or maybe (hopefully) she’ll take after me – I had my share of stupid teen heroin-chic crushes, but was more the type to draw angst-y journal entries over them than squee about it.

There are plenty of reasons to not like the whole Twilight phenomena.  The little of the first book I managed to rad was CRAP.  Terrible writing.  Bella is frankly pathetic and a Mary Sue at the same time.  If I encountered her in real life I would probably do my best to give her shaken-teen-syndrome.  I got bored with heroines that passively wait to be rescued around the same time I learned to read.  Edward strikes me as an Emo Ken (neutered vampires are just sad… remember when they were monsters?) with little to no emotional depth, designed to be pretty, brooding, and very little else.  Which is enough for most teen girls (and many of their moms), it seems.

Some could point out that Spike from Buffy, who I mentioned earlier (once again, yum), could be described the same way.  The difference is in the Buffy series, the writers go out of their way to crack the brooding facade and then point out how silly the whole thing is (The Season 7 episode with Andrew taping everyone is a perfect example of this… but only other Jossheads will get that one).

Of all the (manymany) reasons to hate Twilight, there are two thrown around that I find disturbing.  The “OMG Stephanie Meyer is a MORMON!!!” thing is just sad.  The author’s religion most likely has influenced the ideals in her books, but so far we still have this nifty little “freedom of religion” thing in America.  There’s not a clause that says “unless it’s an unpopular religion”.  There are plenty of things I could say about the role of women in the Mormon church, but I will never say that Mormon women should not be allowed to write wildly popular teen fiction.

Then there’s the popular “bad role model” argument.  While I have already agreed that no self-respecting girl should want to be anything like Bella, it’s going overboard to say that being a fan of Twilight is going to ruin a girl for healthy relationships for the rest of her life.  The same has been said about Barbie, about Disney princess movies, child-nurturing dolls… the list goes on.  I firmly believe that if I raise my daughter with strong ideals, with the idea that she should always love and respect herself, and fill her life with good role models, that a little crappy pop culture will not ruin her mind.  The best thing I can do to teach her a healthy relationship model is to live that model myself. To have an open and loving relationship with her father, and if something happened to end that relationship to continue living my life as a strong, self-respecting woman.

And of course, to teach her the importance of a long-distance head shot on a charging zombie.  Gotta avoid that virus-infected splatterback.

*looks at title* Hmm.. pretty off topic today.  So in Homebrewing news, I had my housemates crack open the first bottle of Bouncin’ Baby IPA to see how it was coming along (bottled 11-15-09).  There’s a trace of carbonation, but it still has a way to go.  I’m planning on it being ready right around my due date! Hurrah!

And in knitting… still killing myself on xmas presents.  I’ve been making a lot of progress, but have been reduced to applying tiger balm and taking Tylenol on a regular basis.  Traitor wrists.  Once I am done with gift knitting, I have my eye on making this poncho with this stashed yard.  And I really really am going to make myself some socks. This time I mean it.  The Great Stash Cleanup yesterday unearthed three different sets of DPNs with the beginning of a ribbed sock cuff.  I frogged them all and swore I will actually make some damn socks instead of an almost-wristband.

For the past 6 years I have been living a lie.  I thought that it worked for me, I thought it made sense…but I was wrong, so very wrong.

In 2003 I lost my dog Josie at the young age of 6.5 years old to cancer and decided that I would never have a dog in my life again.  My sister has Piper and I thought that was good enough for me, I get to see her when I visit but have none of the responsibility.  Perfect, right?  No, so very unperfect.

Then, on October 11th, 2009 I decided to browse through the puppy section on Kijiji…oh, so many cute ones to look at!  But, just cute, nothing more…*click*…uh oh, there she was, the cutest little face and sooo happy!  I picked her up the next day at 9.5 weeks old I was the new owner of a Boston/Beagle puppy who I call Buffy.

At first I was unsure that I made the right choice…I suddenly had to be responsible for her entire world; her eating, bathroom habits, knowledge, play, sleeping, training…omg! 

The lie is over.  My life is full again!  It surprised me when I realized how much I needed her in my life until I had her.  She’s fits perfectly into my world.

Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse, will be honored with the Vanguard Award at the 21st Annual PGA Awards ceremony January 24 at the Hollywood Palladium according to The Hollywood Reporter.
Congratulations, Mr. Whedon, and have I mentioned I’m heartbroken over the cancellation of Dollhouse.

Source Joss Whedon to Receive Vanguard Award – ShockTillYouDrop.com

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