Spirituality and personal well-being

Many cultures practice prayer and spiritual rituals and believe it affects their health (for example Christianity).

Spirituality plays a central role in self-help movements such as Alcoholics Anonymous: “…if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead….”

If spirituality is understood as the search for or the development of inner peace or the foundations of happiness, then spiritual practice of some kind is essential for personal well being. This activity may or may not include belief in supernatural beings. If one has such a belief and feels that relationship to such beings is the foundation of happiness then spiritual practice will be pursued on that basis: if one has no such belief spiritual practice is still essential for the management and understanding of thoughts and emotions which otherwise prevent happiness. Many techniques and practices developed and explored in religious contexts, such as meditation, are immensely valuable in themselves as skills for managing health and aspects of the inner life.

As the title says, I’m feeling pretty burnout. I guess what I really need, is to recharge. Off to get some shut eyes now. Am hoping to wake up feeling more refreshed. =) Every now and then, we all need to just find some solitude.

- whit3puppy

It has been a while since my last post, but it’s my lunch break here at the psych clinic, my med-student colleague has left early, and my next patient isn’t supposed to show until 1pm.

Psychiatry is a funny clerkship (and a funny profession). Most other specialties in medicine focus on physical, quantifiable parameters of the body; your weight, your blood pressure, x-rays, sodium level, and so on. Psych on the other hand is much more interested in how you feel, think, and behave; qualitative things that require a certain rhetorical flair to portray fully. Psychiatrists need to think about how their patients make them feel. If the patient makes you feel sad, then it lends credence to the thought they are depressed. If they make you feel annoyed, then perhaps they are borderline. If you are entertained, perhaps they are slightly manic.

Psychiatrists have this uncanny ability to cut through a person’s outer layers (onions vs cakes anyone?) and seem like they are looking into your soul. Much like the Jedi, they can’t so much read minds as they can read emotions. This is unsettling enough watching your superiors use this power with patients, but it is truly disquieting when they turn that piercing gaze on you (think Frodo and the eye of Mordor). What this all means is that their critiques of your performance during the clerkship tend to be very incisive, and not a little bit painful. They seem to be able to find your insecurities and bring them to light, in an attempt to “fix” them. This is a painful thing for a student, knowing you are flawed, feeling shitty about it and trying to hide it, only to have your boss drag it out into the light and examine it under a microscope. People say that good critique is painful, and if it is one thing that these guys do, they seem to give good critique.

And so I get to what all this has to do with the title of my little entry (in a round about, or as we would say “circumferential,” manner). I’m not going to lie, I have had a couple of really crappy weeks during my first month of psychiatry. I think I was finally reaching that part of third year when, for want of a better phrase, I was running out of soul points.

What are soul points? Well, it’s kind of an extension of wins and losses. The way you get them is by doing good, self-affirming (or just fun) things. A patient tells you that you’re going to make a good doctor. Someone notices your hard work. You get in a good game of ultimate frisbee. You lose soul points when bad things happen; you watch the unsuccessful code of a 10 year old girl, or participate in another unsuccessful code of a 17 year old girl who shot herself in the head. When you worked for 2 months setting yourself the challenge to honor a clerkship, and don’t. When you have to help keep another human being in the hospital against their will . . . for their own good. When your supervising psychiatrist tells you that you that he thinks you have made one too many inappropriate comments during rounds. When the world singles out a vivacious person doing good work to get sick and die for no particular reason.

Talking about some of this with a fellow third year, I swear to god I nearly cried. Tears in my eyes and everything. That’s probably the closest I’ve come to crying in front of somebody in five or six years.

People generally say that third year and internship are the two hardest years of medical training. Those two years are long, and they nibble away at your soul-points without offering much time or many chances to replenish them. I think one starts to “burn out” when you run out of soul points to absorb the random shit flying at you. Once you run out, then it’s all body blows; you can’t muster the enthusiasm, optimism, idealism or any of that life-zest anymore because everything gets to you, and it beats you down.

I know soul-points is kinda a funny name for the concept, and truth be told it’s more or less just a sardonic nod to the elephant in the room. Rather than not give it a name, or give it a less melodramatic (and thus more credible) one, I feel like like this way there is some degree of acknowledgment both of the problem’s existence, as well as some degree of defiance; that is hasn’t gotten so bad as to sap all humor.

I’m feeling much more myself now than I was a week or two ago. But the point stands all the same; they weren’t kidding when they said third year was going to be hard.

5K race reports are pretty amazing.  Soooo much quicker than all these marathon and tri RRs I’ve been doing.

This 5K is at the local YMCA and it’s a race I’ve run every Thanksgiving that I’m home since I was 13ish.  So, since I was finally home for T-giving for the first time since college, I knew I had to run the race even though this is technically my two-week “off-season.”  It’s a fun race because I always see peeps I know including many of my former high school cross country and track teammates.  Plus, it’s always fun to go out and see all the cute little current runners on the THS cross country team in their uniforms.

Anyway, so I was, as written last night, hoping for a PR, in the 22s.  But, sadly, that wasn’t to happen today.

Turkey Trot 5K Stats:

• Time: 23:07
• Distance: 5K
• Avg Pace: 7:26
• Overall: 122/1234
• Gender: 16/600
• Division(F19-29): 8/250
• Splits: 6:53/7:49/7:44/6:20
• Avg HR: 192
• Max HR: 203 (?!?!?!)

Ok, in my defense, those splits are not as wildly erratic as they may seem at first glance.  While I did go out too fast, the first mile is mostly downhill and the second mile is all uphill…and the third mile is rolling hills.  But, really, this is a mad hilly course.  I’m ok with this race (not really disappointed but not really happy either); which is actually an odd reaction given that it is, for all intents and purposes, an “adult” PR (i.e. fastest 5K since I have been post-pubescent).  I’m mostly not ecstatic because I feel that I could have run a faster race if I had been a little smarter.  But, c’est la vie, and for my first 5K in a long time…and without very much speedwork over this past year, it’s not a bad race.

But, here is how the race went: Mile 1: Stuck behind a whole lot of slow walkers, so I had to dodge in and out of the crowd for the first quarter mile.  It took me that long to build up any kind of speed.  By the time I broke free from the crowd, the course was headed downhill and I strided out, allowing gravity to do the work and got my speed up to under 7min/mile. Mile 2: Starts uphill…and long ugly uphills.  And, it starts hurting.  I wonder why all of my hilly running in Augusta hasn’t helped me run these hills better.  I sloooow down.  And at one point, I get a little discouraged and walk (wtf?  in a 5K?  I didn’t walk one step when I ran the Augusta Half when I was running nearly as fast for 13.1mi).  Mile 3:  Ah, yes!  We are almost done!  I come up on a mother and son running together.  The son can’t be more than 8 years old and he’s wearing this Boston Marathon finisher jacket that is way too big for him and is clearly his mothers.  It was such a cute sight that I actually got distracted from the pain some.  So, I just try to keep the pace below 8min/miles, knowing that I probably won’t break 23min and just want to finish at this point and get on with my “off-season.”  I had enough to pick up the pace to under 7min/mile for that last .1 of a mile.

But, had I known I was sooooo close to breaking 23min, I may have pushed harder in mile 3.  I think, like Philly, my mind gets in the way.  I feel the pain of the race and think, oh you can’t keep at this, slow down…stop… And, really I’m not sure if that’s true at all.  I think I could have pushed harder.  And I would have been ok.  The pain is temporary.

And now, a justification for declaring this time a PR:

The last time I ran under 23:00, I was 16 and 115ish lbs.  I am now 26 and…well…a whole heck of a lot more than 116lbs (as I should be).  But here’s the thing, my 5K PRs when I was that light and young were under 22mins.  And those PRs are nearly a decade old (and will be in Mar).  So, that begs the question, at what time do you determine a PR to be so old that it’s not even really applicable as a reference point?  And, I think, nearly a decade is a pretty large time period over which to be comparing race times.  So, I’m making an executive, declaring this race a new PR.  That way, I have a better comparison point for improvement than a PR set when I was a twig.

Finally, please take a note about my HRs.  Those ridic high rates are WILDLY out of character for me.  I think it is a sign that I need some time off.  There is a big connection between physical burnout and rises in resting and exertion heart rates.  And, I’m going to read my 200+ HR to be a sign that I need a break.

On another note, I really hope that when I’m a grownup with my own family, that well all go and do these races together.  I loved seeing that mom and little boy run together.  Anytime I see a little kid running these fun runs with a parent, it makes me want to be that parent.  I also love seeing an entire family come out and race together.  My old neighbors always come out and run, which is fun because one of the daughters and I ran on a relay team together that was one of the top in the state my senior year.  She always beats me now….I credit that to her being a long distance runner and me being a middle distance runner…:)  I was always a miler or less.  But, Mom, Dad, and the four kids are always out there running.  Even now that all the kids are out of college, they all get up and run it in Thanksgiving morning.

My daddy usually will come with me, but really it’s always just me running…and sadly today, I was one my own totally, as Daddy prepared the Turkey at home.  And it’s not bad, I mean I knew other people there.  But, I do wish sometimes that I could recruit more people out…even if its just to walk the 5K (or the 5miler TT that I do when we are in NC for the holiday).  Perhaps, I’m just aching for someone to go to all these races with, especially since it’s such a big part of my life.  That said, I  am thankful that I am able to run.  period.  even if I’m running by myself.

“Navio de Imigrantes” por Lasar Segall(1891-1957)

*Por Luiz Felipe de Alencastro

O trabalho compulsório, distinto do trabalho forçado imposto como punição no Código Penal de alguns países, conheceu mudanças radicais nos últimos tempos. Na sua definição mais simples, referente a relações sociais em que o serviço é prestado sob coerção direta, o trabalho compulsório abrange situações extremas. Ao longo das décadas, as nações viram o declínio da escravidão, o desenvolvimento de diversas formas de servidão laboral e a extensão do assalariamento. No entanto, nos dias de hoje, os países desenvolvidos assistem ao ressurgimento de antigos modos de sujeição dos imigrantes ilegais ao mesmo tempo em que a Internet abre a via à exploração de comunidades longínquas e à intrusão patronal no âmbito doméstico e no tempo de lazer estatutariamente reservado aos assalariados. Na primeira metade do século 19, Francisco Gomes de Amorim, português nascido em 1827, embarcou aos dez anos de idade na cidade do Porto para Belém do Pará. Ia sozinho, semiclandestino, entregue por seus pais a um capitão de navio que o vendeu, como a tantos outros, no mercado de escravos brancos da capital paraense. Viveu por lá durante nove anos. Correspondeu-se com Almeida Garrett, voltou para Portugal, onde se tornou escritor de merecimento (Machado de Assis resenhou um de seus livros de poemas e achou-os razoáveis), e, sobretudo, combateu a exploração da imigração portuguesa pelos seus compatriotas e pelos brasileiros. Sua saga e sua correspondência, publicadas num livro recente, ilustram a “servidão branca” que ocorreu antes e depois da abolição da escravidão no Brasil (1). Além do Pará, havia em quase todos os portos brasileiros mercados mais ou menos formais em que se negociava a mão-de-obra aliciada em Portugal. Previamente endividados com os intermediários -os “gatos” da época, que pagavam a passagem e a alimentação no navio-, esses imigrantes trabalhavam sem pagamento durante longo período até reembolsar sua dívida. Geralmente, tais trabalhadores viviam cativos, pois o credor era também seu patrão, na pessoa do fazendeiro que havia pago suas dívidas com o intermediário. A praga da exploração de imigrantes está de novo na ordem do dia. Redes de tráfico de imigrantes clandestinos se formam na Ásia, na África, na Europa Central e na América Latina. Quem viaja ou vive na Europa Ocidental, nos Estados Unidos ou no Japão pode constatar a olho nu que o fenômeno já toca contingentes de brasileiros. Ontem, como hoje, ser explorado pelo capitalismo parece bem melhor do que não ser explorado pelo capitalismo. Fatos dramáticos de exploração humana, que pareciam coisa do passado, estão de novo nas páginas dos jornais. Prostituição forçada, venda de bebês, extorsões, turnos de trabalho escorchantes martirizam o cotidiano de imigrantes ilegais que conseguem se enfiar nos países desenvolvidos. Na outra ponta, os malfeitores achacam as famílias dos migrantes para receber suas remessas de divisas em reembolso do financiamento da viagem. Segundo as autoridades britânicas, as gangues de traficantes de trabalhadores extraem US$ 30 bilhões por ano nessas atividades. No meio do caminho, as tragédias: naufrágio de barcas com albaneses no litoral italiano e de barcas com africanos no litoral da Espanha, mortes pelo frio do inverno na travessia a pé dos Alpes ou dos Pireneus, desastres na fronteira do México com os Estados Unidos.

No último mês de junho, o fenômeno virou catástrofe com a descoberta de 58 jovens chineses asfixiados num caminhão no porto de Dover, quando tentavam entrar na Inglaterra. Sob o impacto do drama, ministros e representantes de 30 países se reuniram recentemente em Paris para discutir o problema. No final da conferência, Barbara Roche, ministra delegada do Ministério do Interior britânico (“Home Office”) para assuntos de imigração, escreveu: “Os imigrantes sempre representaram um contributo positivo para as sociedades que os integraram. Temos que encontrar uma solução para responder à aspiração legítima das pessoas em busca de migração e… ter um olhar novo sobre a resposta que os fluxos migratórios são suscetíveis de trazer a nossas necessidades econômicas e sociais”. Na prática, as perspectivas não são boas. As discussões parecem apontar para a criação de uma autorização de estadia temporária na União Européia, condicionada a um contrato de trabalho. Caso venha a ser implementada, essa doutrina fecha o caminho à integração, louvada pela ministra britânica, e transfere a administração da política imigratória para as mãos do patronato europeu.

Outros bolsões de trabalho compulsório integram-se à economia global via Internet. Firmas importantes têm terceirizado suas atividades, transferindo para empresas situadas na Índia e nos conventos espanhóis parte de sua gestão administrativa. Quem irá controlar a penosa jornada de trabalho dos digitadores indianos e das freirinhas espanholas? Seria entretanto ilusório julgar que o fenômeno só atinge os pobres ou os países pobres. Como se sabe, a utilização do correio eletrônico, do telefone celular e o uso combinado, via WAP (sigla em inglês para “protocolo de aplicações sem fio”), do e-mail e do acesso à Web no celular aumentam a demanda de trabalho nos escritórios e empurram as tarefas laborais para dentro da casa e da vida privada dos assalariados. Um estudo realizado pela firma Pitney Bowes revela que um funcionário americano recebe uma média de 204 mensagens diárias em seu escritório, incluindo os e-mails (50), telefonemas (48), correspondência interna (18), cartas (15), fax (10) e outros recados. Uma análise publicada em 1997 pela agência Reuters, “Dying for Information” (Morrendo por Informação), mostrava que um quarto dos 1.313 executivos americanos interrogados declarava sentir-se fisicamente doente com o afluxo contínuo de informações nas suas mãos. Além disso, a pressão do trabalho transborda os limites do escritório. De fato, outro estudo, realizado em 1999 pelo Gallup e o Institute of the Future, indica que 42% das mensagens recebidas por um funcionário em sua casa ou no trajeto entre seu domicílio e o local de trabalho, referem-se, na realidade, ao seu serviço (2). No setor específico da nova economia, depois de algumas mortes por exaustão de jovens executivos mergulhados no trabalho contínuo, nasceu a expressão “pifado pelas dotcom” (“dotcom burnout”). Da mesma forma, as imprensas européia e americana usam a fórmula “escravos do Silicon” para designar jovens e menos jovens que passam a semana fechados em cubículos, onde comem, dormem e trabalham de virada. Naturalmente, os que mais se desgastam nessas atividades não são propriamente assalariados, mas empregados que obtiveram participação acionária na sua firma. Porém, com a forte queda que as ações das empresas de Internet vêm sofrendo nos últimos meses, esse tipo de remuneração virou às vezes fumaça.

Nessas circunstâncias, começa a surgir e a tomar contornos de reivindicação trabalhista o “direito à desconexão”: o direito para o assalariado de se desligar -fora do horário de trabalho, nos fins-de-semana, nas férias – da rede telemática, do arreio eletrônico que o liga ao seu patrão ou a sua firma. Direito espetacularmente desrespeitado na primeira cena de “Missão Impossível 2″, quando um helicóptero dos serviços secretos acha Tom Cruise no alto de uma montanha e o engaja numa nova empreitada. Direito reivindicado nas últimas cenas do filme, quando o ator-herói, depois de salvar o mundo, informa ao chefe que não dirá onde vai descansar com a mocinha, senão não poderá ter férias tranquilas. Na primeira parte do filme, Tom Cruise não sofre coerção direta para fazer seu serviço, mas ele é vítima da alienação, da manipulação de seu chefe, e renuncia à essência contratual do trabalho livre para sujeitar-se à extorsão patronal.

É óbvio que os patrões gostariam de inculcar em seus assalariados a idéia de que eles são outros tantos Tom Cruise. Outros tantos especialistas mobilizáveis em qualquer canto para salvar a humanidade ou, de maneira mais prosaica e mais provável, para garantir os lucros de sua firma e o seu emprego.

Entretanto o funcionário especializado, e em particular o funcionário brasileiro, poderá pensar que seu destino se parece muito mais com o da Maria. Com a sina de sua empregada doméstica -alojada no quartinho do fundo da casa ou do apartamento e pronta, todo dia, toda hora, para atender os pedidos e os abusos do patrão, da madame e dos filhos da família.

De qualquer modo, já existe em alguns países europeus e nos Estados Unidos um novo tipo de trabalhador, espécie de Maria globalizada, um indivíduo isolado pronto para ser empregado em qualquer circunstância. Aliciados por agências de trabalho interino, esses indivíduos -sem lenço, sem documento, mas com um celular no bolso- são paus-para-toda-obra, fazendo trabalhos geralmente pouco qualificados, fora de qualquer garantia trabalhista.

Eliminar as torpezas da exploração patronal, regulamentar o trabalho, fruir o lazer, missão impossível no capitalismo globalizado?

*Luiz Felipe de Alencastro é cientista político e historiador, autor de “O Trato dos Viventes – Formação do Brasil no Atlântico Sul” (Companhia das Letras).

FONTE: Caderno Mais! da Folha de S.Paulo em 13/08/2000

So if you still even read my blog, you’ve noticed that I haven’t posted much in a while. I’ve been finishing custom projects, programming indicators for EOT and also had a busy time with work. Topped off with a leaky roof and allergies, I’ve pushed too hard for too long. And I’m worn out.

I’ll be regrouping during the thanksgiving holidays and afterwards I’ll start some blogging again. Hope you have a good holiday and enjoy your families and friends.

By Eric Adams

Question by a student: If you want to pray for me, pray that I would be filled with the Spirit and live according to its ways.  Pray that God would reveal himself to me and give me the strength to overcome the habitual sin in my life.  And I’m starting to doubt all of the growth I’ve experienced over the past year because of my recent struggles, so maybe pray that I wouldn’t be so negative or deny what God’s been doing in my life.

Answer: Someone once said: “Passion for God is born out of relationship with God, Remember, passion without relationship is emotion; relationship without passion is religion.”

I have found that to be true.

1 Kings 19 (New International Version)

1 Kings 19

Elijah Flees to Horeb

1 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

3 Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.

The LORD Appears to Elijah

And the word of the LORD came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

11 The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

15 The LORD said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.”

The Call of Elisha

19 So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him. 20 Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. “Let me kiss my father and mother good-by,” he said, “and then I will come with you.”
“Go back,” Elijah replied. “What have I done to you?”

21 So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his attendant.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

• Elijah ran for his life from a foe he had previously defeated.
• This is definitely a suicide attempt. He left his servant in Beersheba (which ironically means: “well of the sevenfold oath”), and went into a terrible desert. Kind of like us, huh?
• Burnout happens to the best of God’s people. James 5:17
• Elijah’s renewal began with giving up. He couldn’t go on, and he admitted it.
• God sent an angel, or messenger. the Hebrew word here is the same word for messenger that Jezebel sent to Elijah in verse 2. The adversary sent a messenger; so did God. Listen to God’s messenger, not the Devils’.
• Restoration comes from sustenance. Feed on God’s Word. It’s a long way out of a desert.
• Elijah made a 40 day journey to Horeb, which is another name for Sinai. He went to the place where God’s Presence had been awesomely displayed. Go back to the place where you know God was powerfully displayed in your life. Maybe not physically, but in your heart. Return to the place of God’s covenant, where his Shekina Glory shone down on you. Go back to that bedrock where you knew God moved.
• Elijah spent the night in a cave. Strange place to seek God. Do you feel like you are in a cave? Damp, alone, scared?
• God asks the first question. Get quiet, wait for him to ask the questions. It was kind of a reproach. In other words, “Hey Elijah, what are you doing here on this lonely mountain, in a cave, isolated and not where you are supposed to be?”
• Elijah whined and complained. Most of the Psalms begin with a lot of whining and complaining. It’s OK. God already knows what you’re thinking. Just let it out.
• Ultimately God’s servants are not called to live on a mountaintop of spiritual ecstasy, close to God but far from the world. They belong in the world, doing the work of God amidst the affairs of daily life. Elijah’s renewal is not complete until he has obeyed God’s commission to leave Horeb and return to work.
• Eating the life-giving food earlier in the story marked the beginning of Elijah’s renewal, but his answer to God’s question illustrates that his renewal is still far from complete. Elijah complains, indulges in self-pity, and touts his own actions.
• We expect God’s response to Elijah’s self-indulgent complaint, but none is forthcoming. It seems that God does not respond directly to exaggerated claims of self-importance, but merely instructs Elijah to go out and stand on the mountain before Yahweh. Placing oneself before God sometimes has a way on putting things in better perspective.
• Yahweh passes by accompanied by fire, earthquake, and a wind so powerful that it shatters mountains and rocks. Here again are allusions to Moses and Exodus events. Moses experienced Yahweh passing by as he was shielded in the cleft of a rock (Exodus. 33:17-34:7)
• This time, however, the outward signs were just used to get Elijah’s attention, while the focus was on the gentle whisper; not the wind, earthquake, or fire.
• Various dramatic phenomena, including fire from heaven, play a significant role in Elijah’s ministry (1 Kings 18:38; 2 Kings 1:10, 12, 14; 2:11), but 1 Kings 19 suggests that Elijah must also be open to communication from God that comes through simple and unexpected means.
• Again, God does not respond directly to Elijah’s self-serving answer, but instead gives him a new commission. Elijah is to retrace his steps, leave Horeb, and travel to Damascus in order to anoint Hazael as King of Syria; then he is to anoint Jehu as King of Israel and Elisha as his own prophetic successor.
• “Doubts will cease and misgivings vanish when God puts him to work.”
• God’s “appearance” to Elijah is not an end in itself but is intended to revitalize the prophet so that he can return to the social arena where God needs agents to implement the divine purposes.
• Get with God, and get on with it.
• In 1 Kings 19 two things bring Elijah out of his state of discouragement and lethargy. One is a new commission from God, and the other is the assurance that God’s cause has a future in the world which does not depend only on Elijah’s personal success or lack thereof. So get a new commission or assurance, and be assured that the world doesn’t revolve around yourself; God has many people in the world, you are not alone.

I hope this is helpful.

Recovery and Healing Overwhelming Stress – Is Taking a Holiday Important?

When in Serious or Overwhelming Stress Is Taking A Holiday Important?

The above is a question one of my readers asked. My first answer is that the efficacity of a holiday is related to the circumstances and the mind set. I’ll explain.

There are several stressful events in life. First day at school. Taking an important exam or interview. Working up to the point of chatting to a girl or boy you really fancy. Getting married. Buying a house. Moving house. Taking a holiday. There are many others and these I have mentioned are the most important on average.

One source of evidence of a holiday being stressful is in the ‘Holiday back pain syndrome.’ This is very common and where mostly husbands are struck down with terrible back pain on the first or second day of their annual family holiday. Despite all and any treatment these sufferers only get better a day or two before they are due to return to work. This holiday pain syndrome is now well recognised as an emotional stress relief strategy. This is how their body/mind gets them out of a stressful situation they do not want. So holidays are not always an anti stress remedy

Having said that, Yes, if you feel that a holiday is appropriate, you can afford the cost and the time and there will be no additional stress in organizing and doing it, that is great.

I have a friend who hates the approaching holiday time because his wife drives him crazy with unacceptable costs and constantly changing the venue or date when everything seems to be settled. For him the holiday may be enjoyable and relaxing but organizing it is a nightmare he would love to do without.

To touch the question of, is taking a holiday important, a little more closely I am reminded of a personal experience of taking a holiday before my own burnout. I went to see my doctor about some pains that appeared for no apparent reason. He examined me and asked many and varied questions. “You are experiencing the psychosomatic fallout of severe stress”, he told me. I want you to take a holiday immediately. “Yes doctor”, I said. Three weeks later I bumped into the doctor in the street. “Hi, how was your holiday”, he said “ better I hope”. “Well I have not actually done anything about it yet but I will.” I said confidently but slightly ashamed.  “OK,” said the doctor smiling, “can you pop into my surgery this afternoon I would like to give you something to help the stress.” “Certainly” I said. 

I entered my doctor’s office and he indicated for me to sit down on the chair in front of him. The doctor stood up as I sat down and immediately launched into what was no less than a ten minute verbal thrashing about burning the candle at both ends for years and never bothering to care for myself insofar as taking holidays and having fun. This finished with “if you are not out of this country for at least 2 weeks by Friday I will cross you off my patients list and will never speak to you again. Now get out of my sight.”

OUCH!! OK, I got the message this time and went straight to a travel agent, called a girlfriend and we were on a plane to Greece the next morning. As I got to the end of the second week I began to realize how stressed I really had been also how stressed I still was despite the considerable reduction of my stress level during the holiday.

I knew then that to really make a difference I needed another week or two to really achieve what I desperately needed to do. About 18 months later I hit the wall of total and utter burnout.

So what had gone wrong and why had the holiday no lasting benefit? Well here is the answer. Because at that time I did not understand what stress was, how the mind and body/mind works or anything else about it, I did what just about everyone else does. That’s right, I went back after my holiday to doing all the things that got me into high stress in the first place. I recommend you read my two weblog articles on the 7^th Sense intelligence. I can remember now some 10 or 12 years later, thinking what a waste that holiday was.  This thought came as I realized a week later I was right back to being as stressed as before the holiday. What did I do? What everyone does of course, I just struggled on blindly doing everything necessary to wreck my life and companies until I hit the burnout wall.

Therefore, here is the next part of my answer. If a holiday is appropriate and there are no attached stressors in arranging it, paying for it or partaking of it, then that is a good start. On its own it may or may not help. The message of my own experience is that it is vitally important to analyse how you got into high or overwhelming stress and change those stressors of thinking patterns. For your holiday to have any lasting benefit at all you have to change your life. But wait a moment. Whatever you choose to change please do not throw the baby out with the bathwater.  There are some good things and bad things, it is only the bad that need to be changed or ditched. The bad? Well the bad are all those self limiting beliefs, values, behaviours and warnings you have simply taken for granted or ignored even though you keep falling over them.

Hold on, that’s not all, – there are many  limiting thinking patterns also, which keep you locked into running those limiting believable beliefs, values and behaviours over and over again even though you might realize they are not doing you any good.

The options are two. Take years of studying yourself, re-inventing the wheel and learning how the mind works or follow a simple course that takes you straight to your goal and new future. As you learn these lessons in a structured way you will also learn how the mind works via experience rather than just the printed word.

Analysing stressors is not a ‘do it yourself’ thing unless you are trained in that field. Next, if you have no knowledge of how to change thinking patterns and limiting behaviours the chances of success are limited indeed. I’m sorry to be brutal, that is how the mind works and to successfully change it is important to change in the way the mind works best and most easily.

To support and guide you I have built a training and coaching program called;

The Phoenix Solution.

I have made The Phoenix Solution easy to follow, just a few minutes of your time each week day. Otherwise you can save the short tutorials until the weekend.

The Phoenix Solution continues for almost a year. Why a year. This is because if you are not used to understanding how the mind works it is easy to slip back to what I mentioned above. Yes, the risk of slipping back to your old stressors is extremely high. I kid you not. This is not a sales pitch, it is well established fact. Do you remember your last New Year’s Resolution? How long did it or they last? A week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks at the most. If your New Year Resolutions are anything like mine used to be before I got to understand the mind, I need say no more. This duration will keep you on track like your own guidance system. Have you ever watched one of those action videos showing an air to ground missile hitting a bunker or other target.  You will have noticed how the missile weaves up and down also side to side. On observation it is quite easy to see the missile is being pulled back on course every time it veers away from its target. Well you are like the missile with a target in mind, my job is to keep you on track.

Now here is the best part, though my friends think I am totally crazy. You get 225 week day tutorials and coaching by e-mail for about $2 US per lesson. You can pay all up front in which case you also get a free copy of my book Activating Spontaneous Healing worth $30 US sent by post or in a pdf e-book format. Alternatively, you can pay monthly. Can you imagine 5 tutorials and coaching a week. 16 tutorials and coaching per month for about $32 US per month, I must be out of my head but that is the deal. I am doing this because I care and I know there are thousands of people who need this help. This give away price is simply to make a difference for as many people as possible.

I have been training people for 40 years and coaching for ten, albeit I had been coaching for many years before training as a life and sports/mind coach. I did not know it as life coaching though that is what I had been doing all along. You will also get a free pdf copy of my new book, ‘The Neuro Science of Stress management’, due out soon.

For further details of The Phoenix Solution to stress management contact me  Robert Denton at robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com this is because our website is currently being upgraded and is off line at present.

N.B.  You will not find any testimonials here.

First of all I personally do not trust them. Actually I know they are mostly complete marketing fabrications to convince people to buy.

Secondly, all my clients are totally confidential. I may use some results in my reports, books or marketing but certainly there are no names and absolutely nothing in any way to implicate any client.

Yes there is the occasional exception and that is usually because the client is so marked by their positive change they volunteer and ask that I publish their story. Such charitable acts are little different from the above offer. It is a desire to point others to solutions that work at a price that surely anyone who wants to can afford.

For me honesty and total confidentiality are vitally important and something I honour with great care.

Come and join The Phoenix Solution. High stress is a very lonely place to be, it is also a dreadful  confidence sapping condition. In the Phoenix Solution you will be guided and supported all the way.

Während der Coaching-Ausbildung bei Janus GmbH haben wir in der Seminarwoche Selbstmanagement-Selbstcoaching die eigenen Kraftreserveren kennengelernt und unter die Lupe genommen. Wir haben den eigenen Energielevel überprüft und Ziele fürs Leben definiert. In dem Buch “Burnout bei Frauen. Über das Gefühl des Ausgebranntseins” von Freudenberger / North gibt es ein interessantes Chart: Der Burnout-Zyklus. Es gibt 4 Phasen mit jeweils 3 Stadien … zuerst werden Bedürfnisse und Werte vernachlässigt … bis man/frau nicht mehr kann. In der vierten Phase drohen u.a. Krankheit und Depression. Dieses Chart hilft, Fragen zu beantworten: Wo stehe ich selbst gerade? Was kann ich tun, um aus dem Zyklus/dem Hamsterrad auszusteigen? Benötige ich ggfs. professionelle Hilfe? Was raubt mir Kraft? Wo schöpfe ich neue Energie? Wann?

Weitere Literaturhinweise zum Thema: 2 Literaturempfehlungen – neu entdeckt beim Recherchieren:

Burnout-Prävention. Das 9-Stufen-Programm zur Selbsthilfe. Thomas M.H. Bergner

Erfolgreich ohne auszubrennen. Das Burnout-Buch für Frauen. Dagmar Ruhwandl

More statistical evidence of pastoral burnout from Anne Jackson’s Mad Church Disease.

• 21 percent of pastors pray less than 15 minutes a day.
• Those most satisfied with their prayer life spend almost an hour in prayer per day; those who are least satisfied with their prayer life average 21 minutes per day.

(Jackson includes other stats on the pastor’s satisfaction level with their prayer life in her book).

Buy a copy of Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic on Amazon.com

In letzter Zeit habe ich wieder vermehrt Stress. Nicht einmal wegen meinem Umfeld, aber momentan komme ich in der Schule nicht nach und wenn ich von der Arbeit nach Hause komme, kann ich mich auch nicht besser als in der Schule konzentrieren. Dabei habe ich eigentlich nur Donnerstag und Freitag Schule, und trotzdem gelingt es mir nicht.

So habe ich den heutigen Abend damit verbracht die Fragestellung:

Sinus, Kosinus, Tangens – Fragezeichen

zu lösen.

Mit Erfolg, aber ich muss auf den Freitag “nur noch”

• weitere Mathematikaufgaben lösen
• Französischwörter lernen
• Physik-Test vorbereiten
• Elektrotechnik-Rechenaufgaben lösen

Nächste Woche sieht es nicht besser aus:

• Englisch-Test (Wörter/Grammatik)
• Chemie-Test (Reaktionsgleichungen/Atomaufbau, was sind Zwischenschalen???)
• Rechtskunde-Test (Personen- und Vereinsrecht)
• Hard- und Software Hausaufgabe (irgend ein Schema zeichnen…)
• Hausaufgaben die ich diese Woche bekommen werde…

Momentan weiss ich nicht, ob ich die Berufsmatur -a/-schule BM(S) schmeissen soll. Notenmässig bin locker dabei mit ~4,6 bei den BM-Fächern, aber ich muss sehr viel Zeit dafür aufwenden. Dabei würde ich die Zeit gerne für andere Sachen gebrauchen können…

Ich hoffe, dass es sich langsam bessert, sont hab ich keine Ahnung was ich machen soll. Schliesslich will ich kein Burnout, allerdings möchte ich eigetnlich schon die BM  neben der Lehre machen.

Hat jemand Rat oder betet für mich?

Gruss

ein gestresster Hermes

I had major running burnout last week. It was horrible timing. The Turkey Trot is just days away and I’m in pursuit of beating 57:13.

But I could only manage 17 miles instead of my planned 30. Every fiber in my body pleaded for a physical and mental rest, and I obeyed my instincts. This was unfamiliar territory, since I’ve never stuck faithfully to a running program for eight plus weeks, but somehow it just felt right to taper a bit.

In place of my run one evening, I joined my eldest brother’s wife Kara for a get-together with some women in her neighborhood she recently met. Kara and I fit into a similar demographic: we’re twenty-somethings, relatively newly married, driven, and career-focused. We dreamily admire those teeny tiny pink and blue onesies at Target but aren’t quite ready to make the purchase.

We live in slightly different areas of Keller – her neighborhood, on the edge of the notoriously ostentatious city of Southlake, is a bit more affluent than my North-Fort-Worth-bordering subdivision.

I immediately understood why Kara might have wanted to bring me to the group. It was a different demographic, and she may have felt like an outsider.

The women were thirty-somethings and stay-at-home mothers who jokingly called themselves the “Real Housewives of Keller.” We drank pomegranate martinis, gabbed, and, fittingly, watched “The Real Housewives of Orange County” while hooting about the stars’ ridiculously fake bodies. They must’ve all used surrogates, we decided.

I was captivated by their hilarious tales of stay-at-home-mothering. Envious, really. I imagined all that I could do with that extra time: clean, write, read everything, knit a sweater. Learn French. Contemplate the meaning of life. Invent a new social media format. Hang out with other housewives. Train for a marathon. Beat a 57:13 10K race time. I say that, knowing most stay-at-home mothers never actually feel like that extra time exists. But on the other side of it, that way of life still seems appealing. And I’m progressive enough in my feminist thinking to realize choosing the June Cleaver lifestyle isn’t supporting patriarchy, it’s supporting choices.

I admitted this envy out loud. Then one of them said something about housewife-ing that really resonated with me:

“After a while, you feel like you’re losing your identity.”

I was equally taken aback and terrified by that thought.

Maybe, after a while, it’s possible to have major housewife-ing burnout.

My tapering paid off, and I ran a great 12-miler on Sunday. Sometimes a gal just needs a rest, some intermittent cross training, and some wicked fun with the Keller housewives. At least I can live vicariously through their experiences.

I’ll just have to find another way to learn French.

Man I have been busy. It doesn’t always look like it but I’m starting to realize that time flies (even when you are not having fun). Work has kept me from launching some much needed actions. I usually find a spot during the day to check some blogs and keep up with our forum but now it’s hard to provide a blog post every day. And just some post to attract visitors is not my kind of thing, they will get bored after a while. Maybe some of them allready are.

So what have I been upto besides work and some other real life things? Trying to master the AH. I was getting low on gold and needed to supply 3 active raiding characters with the much needed repair funds. As I am not an all day long grinder, I mostly rely on my epic gem transmution and some herbs/alchemy stuff. It usually pays the bill but gearing up Masiv demanded a lot of epic gems and they are costly. I’m sure I’ll make a post on it someday, when I have 5 minutes more spare time.

As usual, we also had some guild drama. Ah well, drama, not really. Some loot issue caused a new discussion on the forum and things started to heat up. It’s never a fun thing to deal with and especially not when the people involved are close game friends. I like to be a popular officer but that isn’t always easy. Oldtimers has a lot of intelligent people and every argument holds some truth in it. I’m usually the one who tries to combine all of these arguments into a single wall of text wich every person can rely to. But this time I had to smack the door and ask for silence. Things are running out of hands on the forum and it is my responsibility to act as a leader now, although I never asked to be in this position. I’m not always sure if I’m doing the right thing for the guild. The things that happened during the past days have made me wonder why I still play the game and why I put all of this effort in it.

All of the previous officers seem to have had that “burn-out” feeling and not a lot of them have decided to stick to the game. I’ve had it several times before, but I always managed to find some bag of motivation wich kept me going. Sigge seems to be an expert at it. He’s been arround for a long time and I’m sure it affects him aswell, but he’s still an oldtimer. Can’t really imagine what our guild would be without him. Luckely we have those kind of people at oldtimers. There have been numerous occassions where things could have caused to wipe to whole guild.

So, AH and guild drama and I’m also waiting for my new hardware to show up. I’m developing my new UI aswell so I have a good idea on how to implemment it into my new screen. And that will also be the start of some video footage. A UI guide, some PvP combats, some progression movies in ToGC 10 and perhaps IC. Lot’s of plans, not sure they will all make it to the blog.

I have a patch post in draft for a long time now but I guess I will skip it untill the patch actually hits the live servers. There are some interesting things I look forward to. And ofcourse some new raiding place. I hope we get the guild back on her feet first. But for now, I’m going to try to afk a bit longer. Perhaps my game joy will come back a bit faster.

Electronic Arts was a powerhouse of great gaming during my formative gaming years. Classics such as Road Rash, Desert Strike, FIFA, the Mutant League series, PGA Tour Golf and James Pond to name a few, were always innovative and a delight to play.

But somehow over time EA became the ‘bad guy’ – the heartless corporation who were happy to churn out yearly updates of average games, often with little or no improvement.

Suddenly we had Burnout, Need For Speed, Harry Potter, SSX, the Def Jam fighting games and a host of annual sports updates. The difference being that these games (possibly excluding a few Burnout titles) were just not that great.

They started buying smaller, rival studios and created big rifts in the industry by often closing the studios down and taking their best talent.

And then all of a sudden things changed a few years ago – as well as the usual updates they announced two games which turned people’s impressions of EA on their head: Dead Space and Mirror’s Edge.

Two games which were highly polished, innovative, produced to an extremely high level… and were original ideas. Not a sequel or prequal – or even a film tie in. Just cleverly made great games.

Now I’m the first to admit that maybe Mirror’s Edge had it’s faults but that isn’t the issue here – what I’m talking about is EA’s willingness to take a shot at launching a new brand, based on something no-one had tried before.

Brutal Legend is another fine example – while the game appears to have tanked at retail, which is a shame, EA backed it all the way with marketing and promo. Not all of their new ideas come off so to speak.

The other shift was that the year updates, sporting especially, got good again. The Fight Night series was a serious return to form, culminating in Round 4’s superb simulation of the sport. Likewise FIFA – which has now overtaken long standing champion PES as the best football game around.

With Rock Band they are looking to take on Activision (the new ‘bad guys’ apparently) and Guitar Hero, a battle which will rage for years to come.

The standard of games forthcoming as well looks really positive with Army Of Two: 40th Day, Dante’s Inferno, Mass Effect 2 (not for us PS3 folks… yet ) and Battlefield Bad Company 2 (the Beta of which is truly stunning) all arriving in the first quarter of 2010!

When I think back to 5 or 6 years ago it seems insane that EA of all people would be pushing the envelope and delivering top quality, fresh and innovative titles – long may it continue!

Iedereen wil gelukkig zijn. Hoe krijgt u het voor elkaar dat u gelukkig wordt? Door uw gedachten te trainen, door te doen, te accepteren wat u voelt, daarna evalueren en eventueel aanpassen. Het is een bewustwordingsproces. Bewust worden van uw gedachten, uw gevoelens en uw gedrag. Als u iedere dag oefent zult u merken dat het u veel oplevert en u steeds gelukkiger wordt. Wat kost het? Niets! Het is gratis. U investeert in uzelf, u plukt er ook zelf de vruchten van! Daarnaast heeft ook uw omgeving er profijt van. Er zijn alleen maar winnaars!
Iedere week schrijf ik tips in mijn gratis e-zine, op mijn website kunt u zich hiervoor inschrijven. U kunt de tips in willekeurige volgorde gebruiken. De tips zijn bedoeld om u aan het denken te zetten over uw eigen leven. Wat wilt u veranderen? Hoe kunt u dit veranderen? Wat wilt u en hoe krijgt u dit voor elkaar? Hoe gaat u met uzelf en anderen om? Wat maakt u gelukkig?

Lief zijn.

Lief zijn levert veel voordeel op, voor iedereen. Er heerst een prettige sfeer, iedereen is bereid tot samenwerken, men is vergevingsgezinder, men heeft meer plezier met elkaar enz. enz. Toch is lief zijn voor veel mensen niet zo vanzelfsprekend. Men vindt het moeilijk, soft, of weet niet hoe het moet: lief zijn. Lief zijn voor elkaar begint met lief zijn voor jezelf. Immers als u niet weet hoe u lief kunt zijn voor uzelf, kunt u het lief zijn ook niet uitdragen naar anderen. Hoe doet u dat? Lief zijn en wat wordt ermee bedoeld? Lief zijn betekent in dit geval: Niet zo streng zijn voor uzelf, niet zo hoge eisen aan uzelf stellen, wat milder zijn in uw oordeel over uzelf, doen wat goed voor u is, af en toe om uzelf kunnen lachen, niet altijd alles zo serieus nemen. Als u in staat bent om lief te zijn voor uzelf, bent u ook in staat om: niet zo streng te zijn voor anderen, niet zo hoge eisen aan anderen te stellen, wat milder te zijn in uw oordeel over anderen, ook iets te doen wat goed is voor een ander, ook eens kunnen lachen om die ander. Om lief te kunnen zijn voor uzelf heeft u een realistisch zelfbeeld van uzelf nodig. Lief zijn voor uzelf is niet zo moeilijk als velen denken. Ga maar eens voor de spiegel staan en zeg tegen uzelf: “Goh, meid (kerel), je ziet er helemaal niet zo slecht uit vandaag. Ik denk dat ik wel een beetje (of heel veel) van je hou en ik ga vandaag eens een leuke dag hebben.”  Ook al vindt u dat u er op dit moment niet zo goed uitziet. Bedenk: Wat zou u tegen een vriend of vriendin zeggen die vindt dat ze er niet zo goed uitziet? Als u vindt dat u iets heel stoms gedaan heeft, ga u zelf dan niet onnodig de grond in trappen. U heeft dan iets gedaan wat misschien niet zo handig was, maar dat is geen reden om over uzelf een vernietigend oordeel uit te spreken! Gebruik deze gelegenheid om erover na te denken hoe u het een volgende keer anders en meer effectief kunt aanpakken. Ook is het handiger om niet steeds te hoge eisen aan uzelf te stellen. U bent een mens, u mag fouten maken, u bent hier om te leren. Alles moet niet perfect zijn, want alles is al perfect zoals het is. Het is ons oordeel of wij vinden dat iets perfect is.  Wat voor de één perfect is, is voor een ander goed genoeg. U kunt niet aan alle eisen van uzelf en anderen voldoen. Tevreden zijn met goed, is óók goed. Probeer er een tevreden gevoel aan over te houden als u iets gepresteerd heeft!  Ook al is het nog zo klein! U heeft het goed gedaan en beloon uzelf daarvoor!

Succes en een warme groet van,
Henrice Kupper

Voor meer informatie: www.deditio.nl

©2009 Henrice Kupper – alle rechten voorbehouden.

NÖ Gebietskrankenkasse lädt zu kostenlosen Schnupperkursen ein.

http://www.noegkk.at/portal/index.html;jsessionid=286A63307C630D110419D6881969D4A3?ctrl:cmd=render&ctrl:window=noegkkportal.channel_content.cmsWindow&p_menuid=1083&p_tabid=1&p_pubid=637031

Nichts tue ich heute. Rein gar nichts. Wirklich nicht? Wie fühlt es sich an, das Nichts? Weniger schlimm, als ich es mir gedacht hatte. Nach einer Phase des Lebens auf der Achterbahn bremse ich ab, schalte ein paar Gänge hinunter und immer weiter hinunter, hinunter, hinunter. Von 280 auf … Null? Nein, das würde ich nicht klaren Verstandes überleben. Es wäre wie ein bewusstes rigoroses Abwürgen eines Hochleistungsmotors. Die Folgen wären absehbar.

Bin, pardon, war ich ein Hochleistungsmotor? Momentan fühle ich mich danach und ich sehne mich nach einem anderen, ruhigeren, einem neuen Leben. Vielleicht hilft mir dieses Weblog ein wenig dabei? Man wird sehen.

Ich bremse mal weiter ab und überlege, wie es sich anfühlt, jenes neue Nichts.

1. The first Clash of the Titans trailer. I love movies like this.
2. John Piper on When you don’t want to do what you ought to do.
3. Is your church’s vision too small? I hope this can never be said of Revolution.
4. Two Interviews with Matt Chander:  Church planting, preaching and leadership & Celebrity, diversity & burnout.
5. Download a free chapter from Mark Batterson’s new book Primal. This book is going to be awesome, waiting for my copy, any day now.
6. Respecting doubts: An interview with Tim Keller. There is so much in here, so many great points.
7. Kevin DeYoung on Be yourself when you preach.

In general, musicians don’t know how to take compliments.  Part of it stems from the fact that we spend all of our training dealing with criticism.  You only have so much time for lessons, coachings, and rehearsals, so of course most of that time will be spent on what to improve instead of wasting it on what was good.  The work you do on your own time is filled with constant self-criticism.  We get really good at noticing what’s wrong and ignoring what’s right.

For me, what this means is that I have a tendency to work nonstop until I run myself into the ground.  And keep going.  I just want to do everything!  I want to be the best violinist that I can be, but I also love the academic work.  And my job at UMS?  Loooove it.  But it’s a lot, and I end up juggling a lot of work with little to no allowance for stress relief.  Weekends mean time to catch up on work!  My social life mostly consists of babysitting.  I’m driven by my constant desire to improve, and no matter how many compliments I get about my achievements, it doesn’t ever feel like enough.

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit like I’m drowning.  I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks, and I’m struggling with some personal demons that I really don’t have time for.  But I can’t take that as an excuse, so I’ve just been plowing through anyway.  I’m clearly tired though; in an email to one of my professors on Monday I accidentally called him by the name of one of my former CIM professors, and I always triple read my emails and yet didn’t catch the mistake.

In the spirit of trying to give myself a break, I’m going to Texas this weekend for my close friend Keith’s final MM recital!  Oh gosh, words can’t even explain.  Except I’m totally freaking out about not getting enough work done this weekend.  I want to practice and work on my papers!  Not to mention the guilt I feel over the financial aspects of the trip.  But based on my recent physical and mental health, I think that this is exactly what I need.  Keith rejuvenates my soul!  As great as my relationship is with Anran, I just need a friend like Keith to gush incoherently over works of music, jam, and to be an all around musical ninja dreamer with.  It’s going to be awesome!

And I can do work on the plane.

More statistical evidence of pastoral burnout from Anne Jackson’s Mad Church Disease.

• 94 percent agree with the statement, “There is extra pressure being married to a minister,” including 54 percent who strongly agree.
• Six out of ten pastors say that their role as a minister prevents them from spending sufficient time with their family.
• Overall, pastors rated their family health as a 4.

(Jackson includes other stats on the health of pastoral families in her book).

Buy a copy of Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic on Amazon.com

When depression hits, the timing is never good. I burned out for a number of reasons, but a big one was fatigue from over-work and over-commitment.

So before I burned out, I’d weakened my marriage simply by not investing much in it, and after I burned out, I had nothing left for it even if I want to invest. This turned out to be a double whammy and turned what should have been “made in heaven” to something that resembled hell.

I was irritable, angry, impatient, intolerant so almost anything was provocative to me and my wife paid the price. Unfortunately she isn’t the most secure person in the world so took it all personally and couldn’t be objective enough to see that I was in trouble. A spouse that can spot the symptoms and gently steer their spouse in the right direction toward help is truly a blessing. But I didn’t have that.

Our marriage was on the rocks. We were like pit bulls in a pit. We were either at each other’s throats, or passive-hostile. We were down to discussing logistics for a separation and divorce. There were times my wife didn’t feel safe. There were times I didn’t go home…. for days.

Burnout, depression, fatigue has a massive impact on marriage, there must be a huge casualty list. My wife is now being treated for depression after suffering years of my irritability and intolerance.

We’re now in the process of discovering who we are (psychologists call it individuation) and becoming whole by owning our own stuff and being responsible for it. That means not blaming the other for our own flaws and addressing it. I’ve learned a lot about marriage through my experience and will try and share some of the ideas that’s helped me understand what we’re trying to build here and how to make one that actually works.

We’re both growing and may even start being good friends soon…. hopefully.

At the recent Acts 29 AMBITION conference at Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, KY,  I had the opportunity to sit down with Matt Chandler and talk about a number of topics.

In part two of our conversation, we discuss celebrity, diversity, burnout and the “one thing” he would tell Church Planters. As you would expect, Chandler does not disappoint.

Listen, learn, and link, tweet, facebook, blog…whatever. Help us get this great content out there to as many folks as we can. Don’t forget, there are 15+ more great interviews with Church Planters and movement leaders coming soon including Dave Harvey, Ed Stetzer, and Darrin Patrick. I am humbled to have been entrusted with this amazing content.