Focus is really actually about exactly 1 thought – no seriously…

So here’s the thing – we all do it – we all take on more than we can bite off – whether it has to do with planning to see all of our friends over a holiday, taking on too much work at work, joining too many teams, starting too many projects, reading too many books, etc etc etc.  So the thought for today is Focus…

I mean – yes, you can argue that having all that going on keeps us busy, keeps us on track, etc – and who hasn’t heard the saying “If you want something done, give it to a busy person” – but really – Focus – get something done, look at what comes next, Focus again, get that done…

Plus – you want something that makes you feel great – getting something done works like no other, but until we Focus it’s really hard to do that.

BTW – you might ask why this comes up – let me just say that starting up a business might have something to do with it…more on that later.

It’s a myth that people often repeat- “Guys just don’t know how to use their phones!”

This. is. false.

Some men prefer to speak in person, or don’t really like using the phone as much as other forms of communication. But, men know how to answer and return calls.

Think about it. You say your man is TOO busy to call? Too busy to call and say, “Hey baby I’m too busy to talk but I promise I’ll get back to you when I’m not, probably tonight or tomorrow. I love you. Bye” That takes about 1 minute provided that the girl understands this and says, “Hello? Okay, I love you. Be safe/work hard/don’t stress out. Bye.”
Please. Most of us stand in front of the vending machine and try to pick between m&m flavors longer then that.

Look, men who are constantly busy and working LIKE to take minute moment breaks to be happy. &if he was into you, guess what? You’re a bright spot in his day! Hearing your voice should be enough to relax him slightly, especially if he’s having a stressful and busy day. This would be one of those days he would NEVER be too busy to call, because he honestly wants to be happy for a few moments.

FIVE BULLSHIT EXCUSES MEN GIVE ABOUT CALLING

, when it really just mean that they just aren’t into you.

1. But he’s been traveling a lot!

Look, when a man is really into you, he wants to spend time with you. &if you see him less then once a week, you can bet he’ll want to talk to you every other day or so, especially when he can’t physically see you. Hell, a guy who REALLY REALLY loves you will probably call you EVERY DAY.
With the new and improved internet, there are a million ways to reach others for pennies. Are you worth that 5 dollars he will spend to use skype and call your cell and just say hello, i’m safe, good night? He WANTS TO HEAR YOUR VOICE if he loves you. Think about it. Your voice should make him smile, ESPECIALLY if he’s in a foreign place with strange languages and people everywhere.

2. But he’s got a lot on his mind.

Yes, honey, and shouldn’t you be one of them? This excuse is NOT OKAY when he “forgets” to call you.. say, to tell you he can’t make it to your pre-planned date because he and the boys decided to play a game of football. Any event scheduled beforehand. If he has a lot on his mind and he calls you half an hour later then you were expecting, then it’s understandable. But NEVER think that this excuse is okay (with the exception of real emergencies. Like 911 omfg I/someone I love is going to die).

3. He never calls on time (like weeks later).

Yes, people constantly say things they don’t mean or forget. So if he doesn’t call when he promised? Well, you should be with a guy who MEANS what he says to you.

4. Maybe he just hates the phone and I love it. We’re different.

Okay, space is good in a relationship. Actually, it’s crucial. However, even if he hates talking on the phone, if YOU love it, he should compromise a little, if only to make you happy. You love chatting for hours everyday, he grunts monosyllables only when his ferrari dealer calls. Example of a compromise? He’ll answer the phone when you call, especially if you two see each other less than once a week. You, however, will limit your convo’s to 15 minutes (or whatever you two agree on).

5. But he’s a very important person (and has no time for me).

I don’t think I really even NEED to say much on this, but here’s a pretend letter that some of you might be thinking about writing to me.

Dear Sophii,
You’re retardedddd. I am dating this super important director that makes tons of money and is really hot! He is never available, because he’s super busy, and sometimes has no reception for hours! But, I put up with it because I know he’s just doing it for me. Why do you make us all sound like needy little clingers?

Men are never too busy to call, especially if it’s calling to get what they want (except bootycalls. He’s not into you, he’s into the service you provide his dick).

BEING TOO BUSY IS A LOAD OF CRAP.

He might be too busy to go over to your place and watch a 2 hour movie with an hour of cuddling and sex time. But he will NEVER be too busy to call and say, “I’m going to be home late,” “I’m busy RIGHT NOW but I will call you -within a reasonable amount of time.. say, 2 days?-”

How to know if a guy is into you…
1. You won’t stare at your phone praying he’ll call.
2. You won’t check your messages constantly hoping he texted.
3. You won’t hate yourself for calling him when your gut feeling is screaming no.
4. You WILL be treated as respectfully as any customer is treated.

Think about it. If the rapist/murderer is allowed a phone call once a day to his lawyer, why aren’t YOU given the same right with the man who “loves” you?

Things are getting hectic out here as far as schoolwork/job searching/Christmas planning goes, which is why I’ve not been 100% current with my blogging. I’ve yet to begin editing from a trip I went on this weekend, but here are some shots from Paris to tide y’all over in the meantime.

Some days it feels as though time is just dragging by and I count every minute just waiting for the day to be over. Then there are those days that you just dont feel as though there are enough hours in the day to get everything done.  I am currently having one of those days, although I do admit a lot of it is due to me just putting stuff off and wasting my time doing other things such as posting on here!

Anyhow back to the topic, I had an extremely busy day at work, from the moment I wake up I am just go go go, always something to be done or thought about, I made it home and made dinner which was a slight disappointment ( more on that later), I had loads of stuff to catch up with online, I still have stuff to do and I want to watch I`m a celeb on tv tonight so I need to get it done before then!

The reason I`m in such a rush is I have decided to apply to Uni for next year to do Radiography, so I`m in a major hurry to try and get my application form submitted. This means I have a personal statement to write and if there is one thing I am useless at, it is writing essays, so I`m in a total pickle. I also have to pick my choices and I am utterly clueless about all the Unis in England offering it and the towns they are in, I dont want to apply somewhere and then find out I hate the place.  I have been pondering this decision for a while and Im not sure its really what I want to do, I really dont want to go to Uni but at the end of the course it would be a job with a certain amount of job security, so I figured I may as well pop in an application while I think about it.

I`m  being tempted more and more every day by my eating disorder. Although I did cut out my supplement drinks and stopped trying to gain weight, I still followed a very rigid plan with a good intake to ensure that I didnt lose and also that I didnt screw up my metabolism. My ed now though is saying to me daily but your not trying to gain anymore so why bother forcing yourself to eat something higher in calories, you dont need to do that anymore, its ok to eat things lower.

Grrr, I can just never win, I terrified to gain weight and Im terrified to lose and I`m annoyed I`m maintaining at times. I worry constantly about feeling hungry, I am scared to feel hungry. This sounds bizarre coming from someone who is recovering from anorexia but its like when I feel hungry I dont know how to cope with that, I cant tell if I truly am hungry or if its an emotional thing.  So to stop myself feeling hungry I tend to fill up on lots of healthy options and now I am scared that I have got my body used to expecting always being fed these amounts and frequent meals. How will I ever manage to cope on maybe the same amount of calories but in less volume?

I think I get scared to if I`m hungry, I`ll turn to binging on nuts and stuff. Sometimes if I drop my intake out of guilt I`ll eat some nuts and then that ends up being alot and I feel guilty and the whole cycle goes on again. I`m always so fearful of that and I think thats partly why I am so rigid with my eating, I`m so scared of that happening.

Ugh, I dont know if any of that made sense. I guess what I`m really after is just wanting to get back to a normal relationship with food, how I ever get there I dont know. How do you ever stop counting? Balancing? Pre-planning? It sounds almost impossible!

So now for my disappointing dinner, I finally decided to try my pumpkin. I was a little lost as to what I should do with it. I tried tinned pumpkin once and wasnt impressed but this was a proper one. So I decided to chop it up, blast it in the microwave and then roast it in the oven. I then stir fried some chicken in sesame oil with a mixture of veggies and adding the pumpkin in at the end and covered all in soy sauce.

Hmm, well it looks pretty and colourful! Sounds quite tasty and everything was, I loved the mix of the veggies since I dont normally eat that sort of mixture: cabbage, sprouts, red onion, carrot, leeks etc. The problem was my pumpkin just tasted so, well bland?

I had it sitting in my kitchen for ages so maybe that had something to do with it but overall it tasted really bland. So if anyone has any tips or advice on pumpkins please pass them on!

The dishes are dirty and they are on the countertop.  Someone must do something about this.  I am too busy to rinse off the dishes and put them in the dishwasher and after all that put soap in it, and close it and then turn it on.

It is too much.  It a shackle around 30 minutes.   There are more important things for me to do.   I would very much like to address a much needed bath and bottle of Spanish wine.  As well, I have the important task of briefly looking at papers and then putting them in order of importance, and then finding a place to put the papers until they become irrelevant.

There are other serious problems.  The fact I can’t command my coffee cup to fill itself and come to my beckoning is very disturbing.  It is not the worst problem but it is a good indicator at how bad things really are.  No one I’ve talked to can order their coffee cup full.

Don’t think I’ve forgotten the bathroom.  Or caring for clothes and other fabrics.  It is almost too much to bear   – think about it.  How can I be expected to get any of this done while I am in the tub watching the soft flicker of candles as I listen to public radio’s jazz hour and reread “The Marching Drum”?

As a move toward solidarity and progress, we should seek to end these horrendous problems that infect billions of people with chronic suffering through these problems tedious continuality and lasting residue on their lives’ time.

No one should turn their eyes away from these atrocities that cripple time and force people into predictive patterns of humdrum behaviors.  No one should have to clean a toilet again!   Can you imagine a world where all tasks of maintenance  are performed automatically?  The windows clean themselves?

When objects do as they are commanded?  “Come here keys!”  could be heard all over the world.  We the American people need to be a good example for rest of the world and move forward to solve these problems of human life.  How much suffering should people be expected to endure?  All possible resources should be put into these problems. The inefficiency of these problems is costing us too heavy a price.   We are supposed to be happy with automated vacuum cleaners or airplanes or radios that don’t even work well?  I tell you now -these sloppy quick fixes are not enough.

I talked to payroll this morning and my check is ready for the time they owe me. So, the child is off to school, steph is off to work, I had a smoke, now…to shower and go get my money. Then I need to do some shopping, come back and get Matt and then take him to an appointment in Marquette. This is going to be a long and trying day.

These past few days have been pretty busy, and I can say I’m very happy with how busy I am, and how much stuff i’m doing to occupy my time. Thanks to Anthony Logistics, my face is clearing up. And, to add in, I’m doing a low carb diet, and joining the YMCA. I’m thoroughly happy, and to boot, I finished my third essay, and love it. Hopefully this coming week will be good, I’ll post an update soon.

Seriously, college is all I think about now. College and life and death and dying and Goddamn I’m sick of it. I’m ready to be done with college and I haven’t even started it yet. I’m hoping that’s a good omen in the long run, though, because that’s the way I felt about prom exactly and I ended up having a blast.

But there’s just so much stress involved. If KT tells me one more time “you need to relax” I’m going to punch Colton in the face, because if it weren’t for him she’d be the same as before.

But life is life and it changes and so do people so I’d better suck it up and move on. God.

At least I’m talking to boys, though. That might help me relax (Jesus Christ).

Relaxing isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing, though. I’m supposed to be working, supposed to be doing everything I can to beat my way into a great school.

My mom told me today that I’m going to end up pumping gas. She told me to go to JCC for free. And meant it.

I’m just not even going to think about that. There’s no way. Just no fucking way I could go there. After all of my dreaming, all of my hard work, to throw it away, for that place?! I know I probably don’t know what I’m saying when I say this, but I’d rather be in debt for the rest of my life and do what I love than go somewhere to learn how to do a nine to five job and get plastered every weekend for free.

God. And there’s just no way I could throw away everything I’ve hoped for and thought of and wished for with all of my heart. Just because of money.

I know money’s important, and my mom would say I’m stupid and have no concept of it because I’ve never had to get a job, never had to make the money to support myself.

Well I guess I’ll figure that all out next year, won’t I? I haven’t gotten any experience with it so far, huh?

The way I figure it, I’ll either sink or float next year. I’ll either succeed or suck and come back home to pump gas.

But I’ll be damned if I don’t try to be all that I can. It’ll be like the dream where I died and watched everyone standing around, shaking their heads and mourning, “What a waste of potential.”

Well, here’s news. I’m not dead.

And I have all the potential in the world. I plan to put it to use.

Suck onnnnn that.

“I have you in my heart.” Philippians 1:7

Forgive the lack of blogging…I kept going to blog, but then getting distracted or falling asleep.  Oops!  Here’s a quick recap of the week: last staff meeting of the year, talking with some lovely ladies, binding and more binding (woot! leadership summit books to impact lots of kiddos!), saying good-bye at adopt-a-family, last town time aka shopping for gifts for that kid up there, last church complete with “Madly,” birthday parties for Joyce (Basotho staff–we went to her house!) and Jen (ninja themed), making a dvd for that kid up there, saying good-bye to the hope house kids….that was rough, and going to church with that kid up there!

Starting off this week, I need some prayer!  Today, I say “see you in His timing” to Lindo…..I miss him already, but am trusting God big time knowing that He has Lindo in his heart too.  So if you get a chance to pray for him, his family, and me today, thank-you.  Anything I can be praying for you about?

This is certainly not a good time of the year for an anniversary, yet November seems to mark 1 year for me as TwoPeaz. I had every intention on doing something special to celebrate this momentous occasion, but I have been way too busy for any kind of celebration. It’s really awesome for me to have come this far in such a short time. I am soooo proud of my studio & I have many great ideas just busting at the seams! The next few weeks are going to be flying by in a whirlwind of work, family, sessions, editing, work, Thanksgiving, kids, work, more editing, holiday shopping, family, more work…. well, you get the picture. Not really sure where this blog post was supposed to go…but I like to pop in from time to time and keep you all updated on my goings on. So get busy with your holiday trimmings, cooking up Thanksgiving dinner, decking the halls…. and enjoy my latest family sessions!

Darn.. I love being busy especially when I am having so so sooo much fun during my internship! The problem is feel so lazy to update my blog!

Don’t get me wrong.. I LUV Blogging! Its one of my fav things that I love to do..its like a journal where you can see through my eyes of what I am experiencing in my life!

I have been really busy with the Dukethon event which took place @ 8am in the morning. It’s been really tiring but it was a great experience to see how the Event organizers do their job.

Will write a post regarding Dukethon as soon as I get the hundreds of pictures that I took!

Now .. i just need to chill and listen to some music & write songs too!

I am working on my Christmas orders for my Jewelry along with my new cosmetic line for my hair salon. It is coming along nicely I might add. I am working to get more products done to get my shelve in my salon full.

Every sale from the internet will be made fresh from scratch. I do this so my shelves are full in my salon and I can usually whip up anything in a matter of an hour. It keeps me busy working full time, taking care of Craigs etsy and artfire studios and of course my etsy and now 2 artfire studios and my 2 website, 4 blogs. Whew how do I do it. I know I am excited about this new product line. If you get a chance take a look at my website.

If you have time and would like to see read the story of my fun day making lip butters with my 3 year old niece just go over to My Blog

Today was a busy day guys

I woke up and told my mom I would make her bacon, but then I went in my room and fell asleep. Failure. I ended up sleeping for 3 hours. When I woke up I ate these things called Bogels from Panera Bread. By the way, Panera Bread is delicious ; I went yesterday and got a sandwich, broccoli cheese soup and an apple, delicious! When I was there I bought Bogels, these mini but up bagels with cinnamon on them. I melted butter and dipped them in that and ate them. I thought they were going to be delicious, but at best they were mediocre. So i scarfed a cranberry bliss bar. Mission accomplished.

After that worked on this mural project for my design class on three artists Ken Twitchell, Judy Baca, and George Yepes, interesting i guess, tedious though. I was in and out of doing chores, cleaning & the laundry. At lunch I made a salad! It was delicious. For diner my mom made Apples with Sausage and corn. It was good.

Going to Disneyland tomorrow! So I probably won’t update until Monday.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

It gonna be a busy busy December.

Lots of weddings to attend (since I worked in a Malay community environment) and busy with gatherings and outings cause the end of the year is here!

But I look forward to balik kampung, in Melacca where I can enjoy life away from the busy city. And of course, I want to meet Mak Long. I miss her so much and I miss her dishes – cooked in a traditional way. I’ve planned to bring boyfriend but am not sure if he wanna come along. I hope he will.

Christmas is around the corner and sale everywhere. Christmas sale, end of year sale, end of season sale and etc. This equals to shopping, shopping and shopping. Not that I want to waste money but if you wanna get items that are expensive, this is the time that you get it at much cheaper price. I intend to get a phone. Let’s see what Singtel has to offer this Christmas.

All the fun comes with lots of hard work too. Since the festive seasons and school holidays are here, majority are clearing leave or taking leave to go for vacations. People are the most mobilized this quarter of the year. Thus, work gonna be hectic. There gonna be jams and jams throughout the weeks, at all times, 24 hours! Tourist gonna pile up too and the towns gonna be packed and busy.

Nevertheless, let’s make each and every one of our December a meaningful month to end the year 2009 by adopting the season greetings through out. Practice courtesy and friendliness. Spread the joy!

Recycle an Oatmeal Box

The other day my friend, who works at home, asked me how to keep her two year old busy so I thought I would share these suggestions with you.

When my son was a toddler he loved to play fill and dump games. I gave them an empty Oatmeal Box and some rolled up socks. He would fill the oatmeal box with the rolled up socks and then dump them out with a delighted squeal. The socks would roll all over the floor. He would then toddle all around picking up socks to fill

it up and dump again.

After he got the idea pretty well, I took the top of the box and made a hole in it so that the task became more challenging. Later on I changed the hole to an X cut so that he had to really push to get the balls in. At this point I changed from socks to Tennis Balls because the socks would get stuck.

You can find more recycling ideas at Eat Your Oatmeal, Save the Box

You can find lots more ideas for entertaining young children by checking out my webpages of Hands-on Learning.

day 1987
though I heard no gun -
no starter’s pistol – I raced
through the whole day’s course

In case anyone was wondering, I’m still alive.

I didn’t stop blogging for any particular reason.  In fact, I have a pretty good pencil review in drafts.  I just haven’t had the opportunity to take the pictures that I wanted and upload them with the post.

This year is crazy. I started taking transit.  At first it was awesome.  It quickly deteriorated into the same miserable commute I’d been suffering all of last year, except now I have to deal with loud music coming from headphones, and smelly people sitting next to me.

I was stretched thin to the point of not having a single evening off per week, until I got fired by my high school math student last week.

I immediately forgot about her because the 2 hours a week I was getting paid for got swallowed up in the other things that I have to do, and my mother annoyingly cheered me on about all the free time I would now have.  Nope.  The cheerfulness just made me more angry about all the time I didn’t have.

I cried in my boss’s office yesterday because I could not see how I could possibly finish everything that I had to do in the time that I had.

Instead, I’m blogging today.  Now I understand why in first year, my boyfriend would play video games all night fully knowing that he was failing first year engineering.

Choir is working out to be a LOT of work, but enjoyable.  I wish I could manage the choir for a living.  I would be very good at that.  I’m the first executive secretary to actually get the choir competing in the International Championship of Collegiate A Cappella

Instead, here I am researching about nonperiodic inspection intervals for condition based monitoring.

Did I say I was still alive?  Maybe just barely.

Here’s what has been preventing me from visiting Blogland:

*Back in October a sprinkler broke and flooded our basement.  We finally got the insurance money and have been having the carpets in the basement replaced, which has required moving furniture in and out of rooms and lots of rearranging.  The carpet was finished earlier this week and now we try to find spots of time to put everything back.

*November and May are the months I scrub carpets in my home.  Though the task was made easier this month because of new carpet being put in the basement, I have still been trying to get the rest of the house done before Thanksgiving.  Huh scrubbed four areas to earn some money, which helped me out too.  The last of the rooms was finished on Tuesday.

*Our front door has decided it doesn’t want to open from the outside.  The western sun has warped it and it is now time to replace it.  We’ve given the job of measuring and hanging the new door to my brother who has recently been out of a job.  He came out one day last week to measure and he is coming later today to go with Hub to purchase the door and then hang it.  Hub is considering having my brother install new patio french doors as well.

*On Thanksgiving we are hosting 60 members of Hub’s extended family.  Of course that puts me in scrubbing, shining, and cleansing mode.  Is there a way to lock the kids up so that they don’t make any messes in the rooms I need to stay clean???

*Hoob will be dancing with her dance studio at the Festival of Trees on December 2.  Her studio has scheduled “extra” practices to make sure they are ready for the performance, which requires the family chauffeur (me) to get her to her practices.

*And…

I have received a new calling in my church.  I have been called to be the Young Women’s President of our ward (congregation).  This will require much of my time for the next three years or so.  In essence, I am now the leader of 35 girls ages 12 to 18 (18-year-olds remain in the program until they graduate from high school).  Some of the duties include Sunday instruction, Wednesday evening activities, planning and participation in a three-day summer Youth Conference, planning and participation in a five-day summer camp in the mountains, and guiding them through the Personal Progress program which is a program in which the girls set goals in eight areas (faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice & accountability, good works, integrity, and virtue) that will help them grow spiritually and reach their divine potential.

This calling will require quite a bit of my time.  I will still make my family my top priority, which also requires a great deal of my time.  All of this means that I may not have as much time to spend in Blogland.  (Wah, sob, sniff)  I will still try to post regularly; I just don’t know what “regular” is going to end up being.  I may not get around to visiting other blogs as often as I used to, but I will still try to read blogs when I get a free minute.

I have been quite busy for the last few weeks, but it has been a good busy.  I’ve still managed to meet the needs of my family, which is most important.  The one “baby” that I might have to neglect, my little Kastle here, will survive.  It might get a little dusty, some cobwebs might be found, but I’ll still try to visit and keep it “homey.” 

And now?  It is time for me to go do a load of the never-ending laundry.

Sigh.

Sadly, I’ve had to neglect this blog for the last week or so. School is getting crazy, but it has to be a priority. I do have much content I wish to add once the seas have calmed. Just a few weeks to go until winter vacation.